WESTCHESTER BUDDHIST CENTER 2016 RETREAT

LOJONG Atisha’s Mind Training System The Seven Points & 59 Slogans

Source Book

For internal use only ~ Exclusively for the use of Westchester Buddhist Center First Edition - 2016 Preface to the WBC 2016 Lojong Retreat Sourcebook

Welcome!

In preparing for the retreat, the three of us decided it would be helpful if the lojong slogans were presented from various perspectives by drawing upon different commentarial sources. We chose four sources that we felt were both excellent in themselves and also provided a diverse perspective. We pulled all of these together into one place to facilitate our own study.

When we saw what a great resource this created, we decided to share this with everyone doing the retreat. We then added some additional materials specifically geared towards the participants – such as practice instructions – and packaged everything into this sourcebook.

During the retreat we will cover one point and a selection of its slogans each day. Please read some or all of the readings on the day’s topic and slogans in this sourcebook. There will be a half hour reading period each day in the shrine room dedicated to this purpose. In addition, of course, you are welcome to use the open periods after meals and nighttime for reading as well.

The commentaries on the Lojong points and slogans were chosen because they lent the following qualities:

 The commentaries by Pema Chodron (Start Where You Are) and Norman Fischer (Training in Compassion) are the most accessible;  Traleg Rinpoche’s commentary (The Practice of Lojong) is the most traditional;  And Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche’s version (Training the Mind) represents the middle of the road.

Thank you for both providing us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in this wonderfully profound and challenging material, and for joining us in the process!

In the dharma of the exchange of self and other, John, Jane and Derek

WESTCHESTER BUDDHIST CENTER 2016 LOJONG RETREAT THE SEVEN POINTS & 59 SLOGANS OF MIND TRAINING OF ATISHA

SOURCEBOOK TABLE OF CONTENTS

Root Sources Abbreviations: 1. PTOD2: The Profound Treasury of the Ocean of Dharma Vol. 2, The Bodhisattva Path of Wisdom and Compassion, Chogyam Trungpa 2. TM: Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving‐Kindness, Chogyam Trungpa 3. SWYA: Start Where You Are, Pema Chodron 4. TPL: The Practice of Lojong: Cultivating Compassion through Training the Mind, Traleg Kyabgon 5. TIC: Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong, Norman Fischer

REFERENCE MATERIALS

1. WBC Meditation Instruction for Shamatha Practice adapted from James Ishmael Ford’s version in the Shambhala Sun, SB p. 5 2. Instructions for The Practice of the Four Limitless Qualities, SB p. 6 3. Tonglen Instructions by Pema Chodron, SB pp. 7‐8 4. Instructions for Tonglen by Judy Lief, SB pp. 9‐11 5. The Seven Points and 59 Lojong Slogans of Atisha with their corresponding paramita as presented by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, SB pp. 12‐13 6. The Root Text on the Mind Training in Seven Points as arranged by Ken McLeod, SB p. 14‐16 7. Selected Slogans from the Seven Points of Mind Training by Atisha for WBC 2016 Retreat , SB p. 17

INTRODUCTION & OVERVIEW

 PTOD2: Introduction to Mind Training, pp. 273‐281, SB pp. 18‐22  PTOD2: Undermining Aggression, pp. 282‐288, SB pp. 23‐25  TPL: Introduction, pp. 1‐13, SB pp. 26‐33  TM: Editor’s Preface, pp. xiii‐xxii, SB pp. 33‐38

Page 1 POINT ONE: THE PRELIMINARIES, WHICH ARE A BASIS FOR DHARMA PRACTICE

Slogan 1. First, train in the preliminaries

 TM: Point One, pp. 9‐10, SB pp. 39

POINT TWO ‐ THE MAIN PRACTICE, TRAINING IN BODHICITTA ABSOLUTE BODHICITTA – GENEROSITY & RELATIVE BODHICITTA ‐ DISCIPLINE

Slogan 2. Regard all dharmas as dreams. Slogan 3. Examine the nature of unborn awareness. Slogan 4. Self‐liberate even the antidote. Slogan 7. Sending and taking should be practiced alternately. These two should ride the breath.

1. TM: Ultimate and Relative Bodhicitta a. Ultimate Bodhicitta and the Paramita of Generosity, pp. 11‐21, SB pp. 40‐45 b. Relative Bodhicitta and the Paramita of Discipline, pp. 21‐28, SB pp. 45‐49 c. Ultimate Bodhicitta Slogans 2‐4, pp. 29‐36, SB pp. 49‐52 d. Relative Bodhicitta Slogans, pp. 46‐64, SB pp. 53‐61 2. TPL: The Actual Practice a. The Cultivation of Bodhicitta, pp. 29‐31, SB pp. 62‐63 b. Absolute Bodhicitta, pp. 31‐34 and 39‐41, SB pp. 63‐66 c. Relative Bodhicitta, pp. 59‐65, SB pp. 67‐70 d. Relative Bodhicitta Slogan 7, pp. 65‐71, SB pp. 70‐72 3. TIC: Train in Empathy and Compassion a. Part 1 ‐ Absolute Bodhicitta, pp. 9‐16, SB pp. 73‐77 b. Part 2 – Relative Bodhicitta, pp. 29‐31, SB pp. 78‐79 4. SWYA: a. Slogan 2, No Big Deal pp. 12‐19, SB pp. 80‐84 b. Slogan 2, Pulling out the Rug, pp. 20‐26, SB pp. 84‐87 c. Slogan 7, Start Where You Are, pp. 44‐59, SB pp. 88‐95

POINT THREE ‐ TRANSFORMATION OF BAD CIRCUMSTANCES INTO THE PATH OF ENLIGHTENMENT ‐ PATIENCE

Point Three:  TM: pp. 71‐72, SB pp. 96  TPL: Transforming Adversity into the Path of Awakening, pp. 82‐86, SB pp. 97‐99  TIC: Transform Bad Circumstances into the Path, pp. 45‐47, SB pp. 100‐101

Page 2 11. When the world is filled with evil, transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi.  SWYA: Bringing all that we Meet to the Path, pp. 60‐64, SB pp. 101‐103

12. Drive all blames into one.  SWYA: Drive all blames into one, pp. 69‐76, SB pp. 104‐107  TIC, pp. 50‐53, SB pp. 108‐109

16. Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation.  TM: pp. 125‐129, SB pp. 110‐112  SWYA: Empty Boat, pp. 109‐114, SB pp. 112‐115

POINT FOUR ‐ SHOWING THE UTILIZATION OF PRACTICE IN ONE'S WHOLE LIFE ‐ EXERTION

Point Four 17. Practice the five strengths, the condensed heart instructions  TM: pp. 131‐139, SB pp. 115‐119  TIC: Make Practice Your Whole Life, pp. 63‐76, SB pp. 120‐126  SWYA: Teachings for Life and Death, pp. 115‐123, SB pp. 127‐131

POINT FIVE – EVALUATION OF MIND TRAINING ‐ MEDITATION

Point Five:  TIC: Assess and Extend, pp. 80‐82, SB pp. 131‐132  TM: p. 147, SB p. 132

19. All dharma agrees at one point.  TM: pp. 148‐151, SB pp. 133‐134  SWYA: Loving‐kindness and Compassion, pp. 124‐129, SB pp. 135‐137

21. Always maintain only a joyful mind. 22. If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.  TM: pp. 155‐159, SB pp. 138‐140  TPL: pp. 157‐164, SB pp. 140‐144  TIC: pp. 91‐93, SB pp. 144‐145  SWYA: Lighten Up, pp. 130‐135, SB pp. 146‐148

Point Six ‐ Disciplines or Commitments of Mind Training ‐ Prajna

Point Six:  TM: p. 167‐168, SB p. 149

Page 3  TPL: The Commitments of Mind Training, pp. 165‐166, SB pp. 150  TIC: The Discipline of Relationship, pp. 95‐99, SB pp. 151‐153

24. Change your attitude, but remain natural.  TPL: pp. 169‐170, SB pp. 153‐154

27. Work with the greatest defilement's first. 28. Abandon any hope of fruition.  SWYA: Excerpt from Compassionate Action, pp. 153‐5, SB pp. 154‐155  TPL: pp. 174‐178, SB pp. 156‐158  TIC: pp. 106‐111, SB pp. 158‐161  SWYA: Abandon any hope of fruition, pp. 136‐143, SB pp. 161‐165

Point Seven ‐ Guidelines of Mind Training – Prajna

Point Seven:  TIC: Living with Ease in a Crazy World, pp. 125‐128, SB pp. 165‐167

49. Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment. 50. Don't be swayed by external circumstances. 51. This time, practice the main points.  TPL: pp. 216‐2220, SB pp. 167‐169  TIC: pp. 137‐139, SB pp. 170‐171

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MEDITATION INSTRUCTION FOR SHAMATHA PRACTICE

Choose a quiet and uplifted place to do your meditation practice. Sit cross‐legged on a meditation cushion, or if that’s difficult, sit on a straight‐backed chair with your feet flat on the floor without leaning against the back of the chair.

Place your hands palms down on your thighs and take an upright posture with a straight back, relaxed yet dignified. With your eyes open, let your gaze rest comfortably as you look slightly downward about six feet in front of you.

Place your attention lightly on your out breath, while remaining aware of the environment around you. Be with each breath as the air goes out through your mouth and nostrils and dissolves into the space around you. At the end of each out‐breath, simply rest until the next breath goes out. For a more focused meditation you can follow both out breaths and in breaths.

Whenever you notice that a thought has taken your attention away from the breath, just say to yourself, “thinking,” and return to following the breath. In this context, any thought, feeling, or perception that distracts you is labeled “thinking.”

Alternatively, it is not necessary to say “thinking” to yourself. When a thought arises, you may just gently note it and return your attention to your breath and posture.

Thoughts are not judged as good or bad.

At the end of your meditation session, bring calm, mindfulness, and openness into the rest of your day.

Adapted by Westchester Buddhist Center from instructions written by James Ishmael Ford and printed in the Shambhala Sun.

Page 5 The Four Limitless Qualities

May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness Be free from suffering and the root of suffering May they not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering May they dwell in the great equanimity free from passion aggression and ignorance.

Contemplative Meditation for the Four Limitless Qualities

In contemplation, we change the order such that equanimity is first…

Equanimity

Equanimity is to know that the temporary notions of “friend,” “enemy,” and so forth are illusory and cannot be relied on, and to accomplish the benefit of sentient beings without any bias. Chant 3x; contemplate 5‐10 minutes; chant 3x to conclude. May all sentient beings dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.

Loving Kindness

Loving‐kindness is to think, may all sentient beings always have what I find desirable. Chant 3x; contemplate 5‐10 minutes; chant 3x to conclude. May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

Compassion

Compassion is like the unbearable anguish that would arise when a very dear relative of mine was being burned in a fire, but it is directed toward all sentient beings. Chant 3x; contemplate 5‐10 minutes; chant 3x to conclude. May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the root of suffering.

Joy

Joy is like the feeling that would arise in a mother when her only son who had gone off to war returns home. Chant 3x; contemplate 5‐10 minutes; chant 3x to conclude. May all sentient beings not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.

Alternate Elaborate Version in Seven Stages

One can also do a more elaborate version using seven steps for each Immeasurable ‐ 1. Oneself (this is the most important!) 2. Someone easy to love 3. For a specific friend 4. Fr someone neutral 5. For someone offensive 6. For everyone above (dissolve all boundaries) 7. For all beings in the universe

Page 6 TONGLEN INSTRUCTION BY PEMA CHODRON

In order to have compassion for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean‐‐you name it‐‐to have compassion and to care for these people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change. Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.

The Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering‐‐ours and that which is all around us‐‐ everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to be.

We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and whom we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in with the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment.

At that point you can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what you are feeling and for millions of others just like you who at that very moment of time are feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe you are able to name your pain. You recognize it clearly as terror or revulsion or anger or wanting to get revenge. So you breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion and you send out relief or whatever opens up the space for yourself and all those countless others. Maybe you can't name what you're feeling but you can feel it‐‐a tightness in the stomach, a heavy darkness or whatever. Just contact what you are feeling and breathe in, take it in‐‐for all of us and send out relief to all of us.

People often say that this practice goes against the grain of how we usually hold ourselves together. Truthfully, this practice does go against the grain of wanting things on our own terms, of wanting it to work out for ourselves no matter what happens to the others. The practice dissolves the walls we've built around our heart. It dissolves the armour of self protection we've tried so hard to create around ourselves. In Buddhist language one would say that it dissolves the fixation and clinging of ego.

Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and others and also we begin to take care of ourselves and others. It awakens our compassion and it also introduces us to a far larger view of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness that Buddhists call shunyata. By doing the practice, we begin to connect with the open dimension of our being. At first we experience this as things not being such a big deal or so solid as they seemed before.

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Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or have just died, or for those that are in pain of any kind. It can be done either as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at any time. For example, if you are out walking and you see someone in pain‐right on the spot you can begin to breathe in their pain and send out some relief. Or, more likely, you might see someone in pain and look away because it brings up your fear or anger; it brings up your resistance and confusion. So "on the spot" you can do tonglen for all the people who are just like you, for everyone who wishes to be compassionate but instead is afraid, for everyone who wishes to be brave but instead is a coward. Rather than beating yourself up, use your own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

When you do tonglen "on the spot", simply breathe in and breathe out, taking in pain and sending out spaciousness and relief.

When you do tonglen as a formal meditation practice it has four stages.

1. First rest your mind briefly, for a second or two, in a state of openness or stillness. This stage is traditionally called "flashing on Absolute bodhicitta" or suddenly opening to basic spaciousness and clarity.

2. Second, work with texture. You breathe in a feeling of hot, dark and heavy‐‐a sense of claustrophobia, and you breathe out a feeling of cool, bright and light‐‐a sense of freshness. You breathe in completely through all the pores of your body and you breathe out, radiate out, completely through all the pores of your body. You do this until it feels synchronized with your in and outbreath.

3. Third, you work with a personal situation‐‐any painful situation which is real to you. Traditionally you begin by doing tonglen for someone you care about and wish to help. However, as I described, if you are stuck, do the practice for the pain you are feeling and simultaneously for all those just like you who feel that kind of suffering. For instance if you are feeling inadequate‐‐you breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat‐‐and you send out confidence or relief in any form you wish.

4. Finally make the taking in and sending out larger. If you are doing tong!en for someone you love, extend it out to everyone who is in the same situation. If you are doing tonglen for someone you see on television or on the street, do it for all the others in the same boat‐make it larger than just that one person. If you are doing tonglen for all those who are feeling the anger or fear that you are caught with, maybe that is big enough. But you could go further in all these cases. You could do tonglen for people you consider to be your enemies‐ those that hurt you or hurt others. Do tonglen for them, thinking of them as having the same confusion and stuckness as your friend or yourself. Breathe in their pain and send them relief.

This is to say that tonglen can extend infinitely. As you do the practice, gradually over time, your compassion naturally expands and so does your realization that things are not as solid as you thought. As you do this practice, gradually at your own pace, you will be surprised to find yourself more and more able to be there for others even in what used to seem like impossible situations.

Page 8 INSTRUCTIONS ON TONGLEN PRACTICE 1979 Vajradhatu Seminary May 5, 1~79 Mrs. Judy Lief

I'd like to give some brief instructions on the practice of tonglen, sending and taking, which will be introduced as regular practice during this sitting period. It will be prac­ ticed for one-half hour every day at approximately five o'clock. It probably will be introduced as well in dharmadhatus and centers as part of an intensive sitting practice. I'm sure all of you are familiar at this point with the basic slogan on tonglen. "Sending and taking should be practiced alternately. This alternation should be placed on the medium of the breath." This is a very brief description of the entire practice. The practice will be initiated with one gong, a large gong. At this point, the first step is to check your posture, straighten yourself, and basically just prepare yourself to shift from shamatha into tonglen practice. Since this practice is for a relatively brief period of time, you should take special care to have good posture throughout. The next step, which is very brief, a momentary thing, is to have a sudden reminder or flash, a sense of clarity, goodness, basic stillness of mind. This is very abrupt and very rapid, a matter of a few seconds, just a sense of quality of mind at rest~ The practice itself begins with the inbreath since the practice begins with yourself. What you breathe in is the quality of blackness, hotness and heaviness. The beginning of the practice--for the first 10 minutes or so--should be devel­ oping a general feeling, which is visually expressed as black and white or, in terms of temperature, hot and cool, or a basic feeling of heaviness and lightness. These are what we're working with. So with your inbreath, you begin to breathe in--in a very thorough manner--the qualities of black, hot, and heavy. With the outbreath, you breathe out what is white, cool, and light. This is very important in terms of setting up the environment and the atmosphere of the practice. So when you breathe in, you should breathe in thoroughly and actually have a sense of receiving ~ll of this into your system. When you breathe out, you should have a sense of giving away, thoroughly and completely, and even have a sense that this whiteness that you are giving out is being received by some­ body or other out there.

Page 9 One point about this practice is that you should act~ally have a sense of total body. It's not just sort of going out on the breath in a very narrow way, but it's a sense of the whole body giving out its lightness and taking on blackness--from top to bottom--through all the pores, in and out. The image of an air conditioning system has been used; you're air conditioning the room by taking in the room's hotness. So it's very deliber­ ate, very heavy. After you've set up this general quality of feeling, then you can go on to particular themes--ideas of someone you particularly hate, for instance. You might breathe that hatred in and breathe out some attachment to this or that. Make use of particular themes or situations that are close at hand, something that happened today or some particularly in­ spiring or irksome fact of your existence. The point about this section, which is drawing on situations and ideas and concepts, is that the particular self-involved situation you begin with should be very quickly expanded to include other people around you and other sentient beings. For instance, you might start out with an aggressive sense of something; you might begin with your own aggression, breathing in the quality of your agzression. Then you expand that to the other people involved in the situation, and then, very rapidly there should be a sense of taking on the aggression generally of all sentient beings. Then you breathe out gentleness and whatever seems good--any kindness you could ~rasp on to. So you breathe in and out, and you expand very quickly. Don't just fixate on one particular situation for the whole practice. If the practice starts to get confusing or slightly con­ ceptual, or if some difficulty comes up, you Cqn use the fresh start approach that you are now familiar with in your shamatha practice. You can just return again to that flash of clarity or stillness, and then reestablish the feeling in terms of the more abstract qualities of black and heavy, light and fresh. Then you build up to the next particular detailed situation. So the whole quality of this practice is developing a general feeling and maintaining that feeling throughout any particular thoughts that corne up. It should be balanced--with a sense of breathing in thoroughly and also letting go, giving away thoroughly, a quality of balance--not clinging to either end of the practice. This practice of tonglen should be done every day. It should only be done in formal group practice during the specific periods set aside for it. It shouldn't be something you just casually go in and out of at whim. You should confine it t6 this period. Thirty minutes a day (here at seminary). In

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Page 10 terms of postmeditation, the advice that the Vajracarya gave was to memorize the slogans and to apply them as situations-­ cause them to arise in your mind. So let me just review the main steps, and then we can try it out. It's somewhat an historic occasion actually, the first formal mahayana practice introduced to the sangha any­ where. When you hear the gong, there's a brief flash; then you begin with the inbreath and the general feeling tone for the first ten minutes or so. The rest of the time, it's much looser: you deal with situations and relationships and what­ ever comes up. It's fine to be somewhat deliberate and heavy about it. Basically, the practice has an almost relentless quality. There's no particular gap in the process; you just keep on with it. When you start losing it, you just take a fresh start and build it up again. So let's give it a try. At the very end, there will be a series of gongs. When you hear the first gong, you should stop the practice at that point. Basically, it's just a period of transition back to shamatha. So the main thing is that at the very first gong at the end of the practice, you just drop tonglen and allow a brief transition into straight shamatha.

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Page 11 The Seven Points and 59 Lojong Slogans of Atisha As presented by Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche

POINT ONE – The Preliminaries, Which Are a Basis for Dharma Practice

1. First, train in the preliminaries.

POINT TWO ‐ The Main Practice, Which Is Training in Bodhicitta

Absolute Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Generosity 2. Regard all dharmas as dreams. 3. Examine the nature of unborn awareness. 4. Self‐liberate even the antidote. 5. Rest in the nature of alaya, the essence. 6. In post‐meditation, be a child of illusion.

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Discipline 7. Sending and taking should be practiced alternately. These two should ride the breath. 8. Three objects, three poisons, and three seeds of virtue. 9. In all activities, train with slogans. 10. Begin the sequence of sending and taking with yourself.

POINT THREE ‐ Transformation of Bad Circumstances into the Path of Enlightenment

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Patience 11. When the world is filled with evil, Transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi. 12. Drive all blames into one. 13. Be grateful to everyone. 14. Seeing confusion as the four kayas Is unsurpassable shunyata protection. 15. Four practices are the best of methods. 16. Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation.

POINT FOUR ‐ Showing the Utilization of Practice in One's Whole Life

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Exertion 17. Practice the five strengths, The condensed heart instructions. 18. The mahayana instruction for ejection of consciousness at death Is the five strengths: how you conduct yourself is important.

POINT FIVE – Evaluation of Mind Training

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Meditation 19. All dharma agrees at one point. 20. Of the two witnesses, hold the principal one.

Page 12 21. Always maintain only a joyful mind. 22. If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.

POINT SIX ‐ Disciplines of Mind Training

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Prajna 23. Always abide by the three basic principles. 24. Change your attitude, but remain natural. 25. Don't talk about injured limbs. 26. Don't ponder others. 27. Work with the greatest defilement's first. 28. Abandon any hope of fruition. 29. Abandon poisonous food. 30. Don't be so predictable. 31. Don't malign others. 32. Don't wait in ambush. 33. Don't bring things to a painful point. 34. Don't transfer the ox's load to the cow. 35. Don't try to be the fastest. 36. Don't act with a twist. 37. Don't make gods into demons. 38. Don't seek others' pain as the limbs of your own happiness.

POINT SEVEN ‐ Guidelines of Mind Training

Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Prajna (Cont’d) 39. All activities should be done with one intention. 40. Correct all wrongs with one intention. 41. Two activities: one at the beginning, one at the end. 42. Whichever of the two occurs, be patient. 43. Observe these two, even at the risk of your life. 44. Train in the three difficulties. 45. Take on the three principle causes. 46. Pay heed that the three never wane. 47. Keep the three inseparable. 48. Train without bias in all areas. It is crucial always to do this pervasively and wholeheartedly. 49. Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment. 50. Don't be swayed by external circumstances. 51. This time, practice the main points. 52. Don't misinterpret. 53. Don't vacillate. 54. Train wholeheartedly. 55. Liberate yourself by examining and analyzing. 56. Don't wallow in self‐pity. 57. Don't be jealous. 58. Don't be frivolous. 59. Don't expect applause.

Page 13 The Root Text on the Mind Training in Seven Points By Atisha and as Recorded by Geshe Chekawa Organized as Presented by Ken McLeod on Unfettered Mind http://www.unfetteredmind.org/mindtraining/about.php

I) Groundwork 1) First, do the groundwork.

II) Practices A) Awakening to what is ultimately true 1) Look at all experience as a dream. 2) Examine the nature of unborn awareness. 3) Let even the remedy release naturally. 4) The essence of the path: rest in the basis of all experience. 5) In daily life, be a child of illusion. B) Awakening to what is apparently true 1) Train in taking and sending alternately. Put them on the breath. 2) Three objects, three poisons, three seeds of virtue. 3) Use reminders in everything you do. 4) Begin the sequence of taking with you.

III) Applications A) General 1) When misfortune fills the world and its inhabitants 2) Make adversity the path of awakening. B) Awakening to what is apparently true 1) Drive all blame into one. 2) Be grateful to everyone. C) Awakening to what is ultimately true 1) The ultimate protection is emptiness; 2) Know what arises as confusion to be the four aspects of being. D) Special Methods 1) The best way is to use the four practices. 2) Work with whatever you encounter, immediately.

IV) Summaries A) What to do while living 1) A summary of the essential instructions: 2) Train in the five forces. B) What to do while dying 1) The five forces are the mahayana instructions for dying. Posture is important.

V) Measures of proficiency 1) All instructions have one aim. 2) Two witnesses: rely on the important one. 3) A joyous state of mind is a constant support. 4) Proficiency means you do it even when distracted.

VI) Commitments

Page 14 A) General 1) Always train in three basic principles. B) Body, speech, mind 1) Change your intention but behave naturally. 2) Don't talk about others' shortcomings. 3) Don't dwell on others' problems. C) General reactivity 1) Work on your strongest reactions first. 2) Give up any hope for results. 3) Give up poisoned food. D) Anger 1) Don't rely on a sense of duty. 2) Don't lash out. 3) Don't lie in ambush. 4) Don't go for the throat. E) Envy 1) Don't put an ox's load on a cow. 2) Don't be competitive. 3) Don't make practice a sham. F) Pride 1) Don't turn a god into a demon. 2) Don't look to profit from sorrow.

VII) Guidelines A) General 1) Use one practice for everything. 2) Use one remedy for everything. B) Reminders 1) Two things to do: one at the beginning, one at the end. 2) Whatever happens, good or bad, be patient. 3) Keep these two, even if your life is at risk. C) Maintenance 1) Learn to meet three challenges. 2) Foster three key elements. 3) Take care to prevent three kinds of damage. 4) Engage all three faculties. D) Extension 1) Train on every object without preference. 2) Training must be broad and deep. 3) Always work on what makes you boil. 4) Don't be dependent on extraneous conditions. E) Addressing imbalance 1) Practice what's important now. 2) Don't get things wrong. 3) Don't switch on and off. F) Maintaining balance 1) Train wholeheartedly. 2) Find freedom by probing and testing. 3) Don't boast. 4) Don't be hypersensitive. 5) Don't be impulsive. 6) Don't expect thanks. Page 15 1/10/2016 Mind Training Map

http://www.unfetteredmind.org/mindtraining/map.php 1/1 Selections from the Lojong Slogans of Atisha For WBC Annual Winter Retreat 2016

DAY TWO: POINT 1 – The Preliminaries, Which Are a Basis for Dharma Practice Pre‐requisites for Shamatha and the four thoughts that turn the mind 1. First, train in the preliminaries

DAY THREE: POINT 2 ‐ The Main Practice, Which Is Training in Bodhicitta Absolute Bodhicitta slogans – Vipashyana & The Paramita of Generosity 2. Regard all dharmas as dreams. 3. Examine the nature of unborn awareness. 4. Self‐liberate even the antidote. Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Discipline 7. Sending and taking should be practiced alternately. These two should ride the breath.

DAY FOUR: POINT 3 ‐ Transformation of Bad Circumstances into the Path of Enlightenment Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Patience 11. When the world is filled with evil, transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi. 12. Drive all blames into one. 16. Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation.

DAY FIVE: POINT 4 ‐ Showing the Utilization of Practice in One's Whole Life Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Exertion 17. Practice the five strengths, the condensed heart instructions.

DAY SIX: POINT 5 – Evaluation of Mind Training Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Meditation 19. All dharma agrees at one point. 21. Always maintain only a joyful mind. 22. If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.

DAY SEVEN: POINT 6 ‐ Disciplines or Commitments of Mind Training Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Prajna 24. Change your attitude, but remain natural. 27. Work with the greatest defilement's first. 28. Abandon any hope of fruition.

DAY EIGHT: POINT 7 ‐ Guidelines of Mind Training Relative Bodhicitta slogans ‐ The Paramita of Prajna (Cont’d) 49. Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment. 50. Don't be swayed by external circumstances. 51. This time, practice the main points.

Page 17 VOLUME TWO

THE PROFOUND TREASURY

OF THE OCEAN OF DHARMA

33 Introduction to Mind Training The Bodhisattva Path of The lojong, or mind-training, slogans are very simple, and not Wisdom and Compassion particularly philosophical. They are purely what one of the great Kagyii teachers referred to as a “grandmother’s finger pointing. ” When a grandmother says, “This is the place where I used to go and pick corn or collect wild vegetables, ” she uses herfinger rather than writing on paper or using a map. Page 18 CHOGYAM TRUNGPA

o far, our approach to the mahayana has been a philosophical one. S But to experience reality properly, we very much need an application or working basis. We need to change to a slightly more contemplative COMPILED AND EDITED BY approach. This comes in very handy. We may have begun to understand the shunyata principle or the teachings on relative and absolute truth, but Judith L. Lief what are we going to do then? What are we going to do with those two truths? It is like we have eaten an immense amount of birthday cake: we are completely bloated and do not know what to do next. So at this point we need to shift our emphasis from the theory of the bodhisattva path to the practice and experience of it. What is the difference between theory and practice? Theory is an understanding of the possibility of egolessness, and practice is actually shedding your ego. The effect is relating with reality according to the bodhisattva path. At the theoretical level, you can understand how the realization of the egolessness of individuality and the egolessness of dhar- mas can be achieved simultaneously and properly. And at the practical level, how you are going to do that is largely based on your practice and

S hambhala • Boston & London • 2013 personal discipline.

273 MIND TRAINING AND SLOGAN PRACTICE INTRODUCTION TO MIND TRAINING

In the mahayana, our main concern is how to awaken ourselves. The like the word Logos, or "Word/' in the Christian tradition, as in "In the mahayana takes quite a lot of effort because it is a big job. That is why it beginning was the Word." Ka is a fundamental sacred command. It refers is called the mahayana, the great vehicle: it is a big deal. The mahayana both to absolute truth and to a quality of practicality or workability from is no joke, and you had better not fall asleep at the wheel when you are the individuars point of view Dam means "instruction." It is oral teach- driving on such a big highway. But you can't go wrong with mahayana ing, personal teaching, a manual on how to handle your life properly. So heavy-handedness; it is the best kind. Kadam means "sacred command teaching." The Kadam tradition devel- With mahayana practice, there is no cultivation—you just do it. It's oped around the time of Marpa and Milarepa, when Tibetan monasti- like taking medication: the pills you take might taste terribly bitter, but cism was beginning to take place and become deeply rooted. The Kagyii you take them anyway The mahayana is very harsh, but it is also very teacher Gampopa also belonged to the Kadam order, and incorporated gentle. The intention is gentle, but the practice is harsh. By combining the this practice into the Kagyii tradition. intention and the practice, you are being both "harshed” and "gended.” Within the Kadam tradition, there is a contemplative school and an That process turns you into a bodhisattva. It is like jumping into a blender: intellectual school. In the contemplative school, the teachings are seen you begin to feel that you are swimming in the blender, and you might as instructions for practice rather than as an intellectual system. All the even enjoy it a little bit after you have been processed. commands and messages are regarded as practical and workable for stu- The technique of shamatha-vipashyana does not change very much in dents, and there is an emphasis on contemplative and meditative disci- the mahayana; it is pretty standard. The only difference is the idea of an plines. Since the Kagyiipas received instructions on the proper practice of enlightened attitude, or bodhichitta. When you take the bodhisattva vow, mahayana through Gampopa, who studied with Kadam teachers as well you are actually transplanting bodhichitta in yourself. So bodhichitta is as with Milarepa, we practice lojong based on the contemplative school Page 19 not purely conceptual; it is pragmatic. Out of bodhichitta comes the idea of the Kadam tradition. of working with a spiritual friend, or kalyanamitra, as the guide for your The Geluk tradition developed from the intellectual, or pandita, school practice. You begin to be willing to commit yourself to working with all of the Kadam tradition. Ge means "virtue," and luk means "system"; so sentient beings. But before you launch yourself into such a project, you the Geluk tradition is the "study of virtue." Gelukpas take a dialectical first need lots of training. In that way, the mahayana approach is similar to approach to understanding the mahayana and are philosophically ori- the hinayana logic of soso tharpa, or self-liberadon. ented. They study logic, and analyze and intellectualize the teachings, whereas the Kagyii and Nyingma schools, which are my traditions, are referred to as practice lineages. A tisha and the Transmission Atisha’s lojong teachings were later summarized in a text by Geshe OF THE LOJONG TEACHINGS Chekawa Yeshe Dorje entitled The Root Text of the Seven Points of Training Lojong is one of the mahayana contemplative practices taught in Tibet by the Mind. My discussion of lojong is based on this text and on Jamgon Atisha Dipankara. Lo means "'intelligence," or "mind”; it is that which can Kongtrufs commentary, called Changchup Shunglam, which means "the perceive things. Jong means "training” or "processing”; so lojong means main path to enlightenment."* Changchup means "enlightenment," shung "mind training.” It is similar to the concept of shinjang, which means means "main," and lam is "path"; so Changchup Shunglam means "main "thoroughly processed.” path to enlightenment." Shung is also the word used for "government." Atisha Dipankara visited Tibet at the beginning of the eleventh cen- For instance, we could call the Tibetan government po $hung: po meaning tury, during the second revival of Buddhism in Tibet, after the time of Padmasambhava and after the period of persecution of Buddhists. When * Geshe Chekawa’s text, along with Jamgon KongtriiTs commentary, were translated by Atisha came to Tibet, he presented teachings in what was to become Ken McLeod and published as The Great Path of Awakening: A Commentary on the Mahayana known as the Kadam school. Ka means "command,” or "teaching.” It is Teachings o f the Seven Points of Mind Training (Boston: Sham bhala Publications, 1987).

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Tibet, and shung meaning government. The government running the your mind this monolithic principle called buddha nature, bodhichitta, or country is supposed to be a wide administration rather than a narrow one. tathagatagarbha. You indoctrinate yourself so that you cannot get away It takes care of the psychology of the country as well as the economics, from that. politics, and domestic situations. Shunglam can also mean “highway,” or The lojong, or mind-training, slogans are very simple, and not particu- “boulevard/' like a road in the middle of a city. It is extraordinarily wide larly philosophical. They are purely what one of the great Kagyu teachers and open, the main path on which everybody travels, the way any good referred to as a "grandmother's finger pointing." When a grandmother old Buddhist should travel. says, "This is the place where I used to go and pick corn or collect wild In the Changchup Shunglam, Atisha Dipankara's teachings on lojong are vegetables," she uses her finger rather than writing on paper or using a presented as a sevenfold cleaning or processing of one's mind, based on map. In earlier times, quite possibly students were illiterate or not par- fifty-nine slogans designed to teach people how to become good mahaya- ticularly versed in philosophy, so slogans were used. Jamgon Kongtrufs nists. These instructions were given to very simple people as well as to writing on this practice also very much reflects that approach. educated people. When the mahayana was first presented in Tibet, people In my own training, I studied a lot of philosophy. So when Jamgon were quite savage. So basic teachings, such as trying to be kind to your Kongtriil first suggested that I study the seven points of mind training, I neighbors instead of destroying them, were revolutionary. In Tibet—or was relieved to discover that Buddhism was so simple and practical. You India for that matter—there was not much law and order, and so at first can actually practice it; you can just follow the book and do as it says, which the mahayana teachers were simply trying to establish basic social norms. is extraordinarily powerful and such a relief. In my childhood, I enjoyed It took a long time for them to convince people that they could actually immensely reading and memorizing the slogans. The simplicity of this trust their next-door neighbors. text and Jamgon Kongtrufs commentary on it is so precious and direct; Page 20 We may have gone a bit beyond teachings such as trying to be kind it is almost as if it were written for peasants. One of the characteristics or not gossiping about people we dislike. Social norms about those types of Jamgon Kongtrul’s writing is that he can change his tone completely, of things already exist. In modern society, we have been bombarded with depending on the subject, as if he were a different author altogether—and all kinds of moralities and behavioral norms. We also have the police to in doing so, his relationship with the audience becomes entirely different. protect us from doing terrible things to one another. We are told to try The Ckangckup Skunglam is one of the best books I studied in the early tp be good citizens, and if we are not, we will get in trouble and end up stages of my monastic life. Each time I read this book, I get benefit from it. in jail. But on the way toward trying to be good and kind, our approach It is somewhat rugged, but at the same time it is soothing. I was planning has somewhat degenerated. It does not have enough psychological depth to become a simple monk. I was going to study these things and become of real gut-level compassion. So at this point, although we may be more a good Buddhist, a contemplative person—and such a thread still holds civilized, we constantly miss the point of why we are civilized. We miss throughout my life. In spite of the complications in my life, I still feel the heart of the matter. Apart from being kind and good and keeping out that I am basically a simple, romantic Buddhist who has immense feeling of trouble, there is no greater vision. So it is important to emphasize the toward the teachers and the teaching. psychological aspect of lojong. Lojong teachings are very powerful, particularly when you are facing difficulties. You should realize the importance of these slogans, under- stand as much as you can, and memorize them. What has been said is like T he Power and Practicality of Lojong a drop of golden liquid. There is a hard-edged quality of cutting down Lojong is a way of switching allegiance from your ego to buddha nature. preconceptions and other ego battles, but at the same time, there is always It is a process of indoctrination in which your previous preconceptions are a soft spot of devotion and simplicity that you can never forget. I am not wiped out. Quite simply, you indoctrinate yourself into the bodhisattva particularly trying to be dramatic, but I really do feel extraordinarily posi- path and the bodhisattva's way of thinking by realizing that you have in tive about Jamgon Kongtriil and his approach to this teaching.

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The lojong teachings include several points of mahayana discipline, life. These slogans are guidelines for transforming difficulties, working but the foremost discipline is to develop ultimate bodhichitta. Compas- with both living and dying, evaluating your mind training, and developing sion comes from the level of ultimate bodhichitta, an unconditioned state discipline. They are general rules for how to conduct yourself. where you begin to realize that you and others do not exist. Therefore, The teaching on the seven points of mind training is like being pre- you are able to extend yourself, which gives you joy and further joy. It sented with a fish. You have the head of the fish, the body of the fish, and makes you smile and appreciate the world. But it is important to begin at the tail of the fish—and you need to know which part you should cook, the beginning, almost at the kitchen-sink level. It may not be all that enter- which one you should throw away, and which one you should debone, so taining, but once you understand the basics, you could play and dance and that you can have a good meal. appreciate the phenomenal world. Slogan practice is based on the six paramitas: generosity, discipline, In order to practice lojong, you need hinayana training, and you also patience, exertion, meditation, and prajna. Bodhisattvas, or would-be need to develop compassion and gentleness. At the hinayana level, you bodhisattvas, are like the knights of the medieval tradition. They are disown your arrogance and competitiveness. Beyond that, the mahayana wealthy with generosity and they wear excellent perfumes, so they feel touch is acknowledging your basic goodness, so you don t feel you are good. Then they put on their armor, get on their horses, and ride: and completely cut off and hopeless. In the mahayana, you are developing as they do so, they have their weapons around them, their swords and so an attitude of strength and energy. You are beginning to trust yourself. forth. That seems to be the basic point of the six paramitas—to become a You trust that your mind is always workable, that you can actually train really good warrior. yourself. You trust that you are not as bad as you thought, but you can In order to practice the slogans, your mind has to mix much more with apply yourself by means of discipline and meditation. By witnessing the the dharma. Rather than studying these teachings as a scholarly exercise, Page 21 spiritual friend and their relationship to the lineage, you see that you too you have to learn how to listen to the dharma—how to study properly and can do it. So an overall feeling of positive atmosphere and positive logic apply what you have learned. It does not matter if you can come up with a is created. Because you have developed such gentleness and sympathy for bright idea. What counts is actually knowing how to apply the teachings. yourself, you begin to feel frustrated with those who cannot click into this If you keep working with the slogans, you will begin to understand the possibility. You feel sorry for them, and out of that frustration you develop geography of the whole thing. It is like driving into a town: Once you compassion. understand the layout, you have no problem knowing which way to turn. You will know when to turn left and when to turn right. You begin to get a feeling for the town. If you had just memorized the names of the streets, G et t ing a Feel for the Slogans you probably wouldn’t get very far. But once you learn the geography of It is important to understand the structure of the Atisha slogans. Each the town, you even know how to take backstreets to avoid traffic. of them fits into a certain section of your practice. That is why we have You can practice the slogans with the people you work with at your seven different groups of slogans, or seven points of mind training. Some job, the clerk at the shop where you buy your groceries or your clothes, slogans apply to your sitting practice on the cushion, and others apply to the driver who cuts in front of you—anyone you relate with. The slogans what happens before, during, and after that. The first slogan is about pre- are always applicable, so you have lots of opportunities. People might have liminaries to mind training. The second set of slogans is about bodhichitta, mistaken beliefs about what is true. They might disagree about whether beginning with ultimate bodhichitta and followed by relative bodhichitta. human beings came about from karmic formations or were created by These slogans have to do with simplifying your practice into the ultimate God, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is the personal level, how we bodhichitta level, and then applying bodhichitta and making it workable, relate with people. What matters is whether we complain or we don’t starting with very simple things. Then there are the postmeditation slo- complain. When we cash our check at the bank, how do we relate with gans, which are connected with cultivating bodhichitta in your everyday that situation? When we eat in a restaurant, how do we relate with that?

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Slogan practice is universal. The idea is to use the slogans in dealing with intelligence, rather than giving everything to you and having you repeat anybody who is around us, anybody within our radius, anybody who has it back like an idiot. some connection with us. One way to work with the slogans is to look at them in terms of cause, You can actually sharpen your prajna by relating with people in this effect, and essence. It is very simple, once you know how to do it. You way, and they begin to respond to it. They begin to feel that something could apply this approach to anything. For instance, if you are drinking a very precious is taking place. From a practical point of view, if you adopt cup of coffee, you could ask, what is the cause of drinking a cup of coffee, these principles, things actually work out much more efficiently for you. what is the effect, and what happens in essence? You could also begin with Waitresses become more friendly, taxicab drivers become joyful, and the essence, and work your way back. According to this logic, in looking shopkeepers more accommodating. If you are projecting something that at a statement, first you determine the basic nature of what it is convey- is good and decent, people always pick up on that. It's great! ing. For instance, you could say that the basic nature or essence of water You can practice the slogans on the spot, whenever a situation presents is wetness. You could then say that providing water to people or to plants itself to you. But you don't just say, “Now I'm going to practice slogan is the cause that gives rise to the effect of quenching thirst or irrigating number four." That would be absurd, because the situation may not exist the land to make things grow And as a totality, you could say that water to do number four. The idea is that slogans arise in response to a particular provides fundamental wetness, so that plants can grow and people can situation. The actual words of these slogans bounce in my mind always, survive. That is how the whole thing works, and that is how I was trained even in my dreams. They are very powerful and significant to me. Like- in my own discipline. I was never told what a particular subject actually wise, they could bounce around in your mind—in your dreams, before does—for instance, what nirvana does. But I was told exactly what water dreams, and in relationships with people. They should always be in the does and what fire does, and I was taught how to work with the logic of Page 22 back of your mind. When your mind is tuned in to such simple and beau- cause, effect, and essence. tiful words, these slogans arise naturally. It happens that way, rather than actually having to recall them like the Declaration of Independence. They are so innocent and absurd, in a sense, but their absurdity is so insightful. Slogan practice is delightful. It is very direct and personal, and every- thing is spelled out. It is much better than the moralistic approach of thinking that you need to stop doing something wrong. The slogans are not particularly traffic signs, they are reminders. And each time a certain slogan occurs to you, the slogans as a whole become more meaningful.

C ause, E ffect, and Essence

It is worthwhile to realize and understand these slogans, to study and memorize them. They are direct and simple, no big deal, and at the same time they are quite insightful. If I give you too many details, it is not going to help; your mind is going to be further crumpled and crippled. It is better to exercise your own intelligence and understanding of the depth of these slogans. In discussing the slogans and presenting the dharma altogether, I would like to provide you with possibilities of playing with your own

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become open to yourself and be willing to face your self-conceit and self- deception. You have to be willing to see through it. Nobody is as close to you as you yourself are, so you have to become your own teacher—with the help of a spiritual friend, of course.

T hree Types of Aggression 34 In the hinayana, the emphasis is on nonpassion, and in the mahayana, Undermining Aggression the emphasis is on nonaggression. There are various types of aggression. Deep-rooted aggression is constant. Whenever there is a gap, there is always aggression shining through. With deep-rooted aggression, you are perpetually hungry and fundamentally unhappy. Deep-rooted aggression When you begin to realize aggression as it is, there is a sudden flash is an underlying and ongoing experience. It is basic negativity. of spaciousness, and the aggression is completely cleared out. It is Analytical aggression is developing your own logic in order to prove like living in a stuffy room, and suddenly the window is wide open that your particular aggression or anger is valid. Because such and such and fresh air is coming in. You are crammed in with the aggression a situation happened and you don't like that, you would like to reshape and the resentment, but then you begin to see an entirely different your opponent, your friend, or your environment. You are trying to create approach, a completely new sense of things, a flash. reinforcement for your aggression. Analytical aggression is also referred Page 23 to as negative negativity. Then there is the sudden wind of aggression, which is totally illogical.

n the style of the practicing lineage, we are viewing the bodhisattva It is aggression without logic. You don’t know where it came from, it just I path in terms of meditation instruction, with a meditative approach hits you, and you become a ball of cast-iron. Sometimes you can’t even rather than a purely theoretical one. We have already discussed the inspi- talk. The sudden wind of aggression jumps between the other two, taking ration that comes from tathagatagarbha, or buddha nature, and how ordi- advantage of the deep-rooted aggression or the analytical one. nary states can be transformed into tathagatagarbha. Realizing that you All types of aggression are predominantly based on not giving. They possess buddha nature gives you a sense of gratification and honor, but at are related with a sense of meanness and an ungenerous attitude that goes the same time it is like a poor person finding a diamond: you are uncer- directly against the idea of karuna, or compassion. Aggression is based tain how to handle it or approach it. That uncertainty and bewilderment on shifting and moving. It is like the analogy of the moon reflecting on become encouragement to seek further discipline on the bodhisattva path. moving water: the water is disturbed, so when the moon shines on it, The bodhisattva path is by no means theoretical; it is experiential. the picture of the moon is broken up into fragmented patterns. You do Once you have taken the bodhisattva vow and committed yourself to see some fragments of the moon, but you have no clear and undistorted the bodhisattva's way, you have the idea .that you should be compassionate picture of the moon as a whole. to all sentient beings, but where to begin is uncertain. Surprisingly, the way Aggression covers a large area; it is more than anger alone. Sometimes to start on the bodhisattva path is not by meditating on shunyata alone, it has the element of duty, of trying to live up to what you are supposed but by training the mind, or lojong. There are various ways of training to be. It can manifest as a combination of guilt and righteousness. It may the mind, but the starting point is developing an absence of aggression. In manifest as the fear of losing your ground, or the fear that you might have lojong practice, you adopt an attitude of seeing yourself and your aggres- made a mistake but you still have to be righteous. Aggression may show sion clearly and properly. In order to see your own aggression, you have to in people’s cowardly little smiles in the midst of arguments, which ai£ not

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genuine smiles, but signs of hesitation or guilt. When such people reassert with the awareness of breathing as in shamatha-vipashyana, but as you themselves, their faces become red. breathe out, you give away whatever desire you have, and as you breathe Aggression seems to be related with the realm of hell. At this point, in, you take in anything you do not want or that you try to avoid. That is the bodhisattva has not yet transcended that realm. You have begun to the deliberate technique of the lojong method, which is a type of anapana- prevent the cause, to shake up the possibility of it, but you still have to sati, or mindfulness-of-breath practice. wipe it out completely. You may discover that you have the potential of When you practice lojong, there is a general awareness of your total buddha nature, but if you use that discovery to strengthen your ego, you being, as in vipashyana practice, but there is more to it than that: there are re-sowing the seeds of the hell realm. This does not mean that you are is a quality of deliberateness. For example, if you want to borrow some- going to be literally thrown into hell, but rather that you are creating hell thing from somebody and that person refuses to lend it to you, you may on the spot. Because the hell realm is the manifestation of aggression, you get rather angry and upset about that. The subject of your practice of could create the hell realm anywhere. It has been said that the bodhisattva contemplation in that case would be to feel the pleasure and gratification exterminates the realm of hell completely. In fact, all six realms should be you would have gotten out of that object, and also to feel your immense completely wiped out. irritation because the person would not lend it to you. You breathe in that which you did not want, and you breathe out that which you did want. A person has to have a real understanding of what aggression is L ojong Practice: D el iber at e Compassion before doing such a practice, but it is a very powerful exercise and very With lojong, you are developing what is called mik-che kyi nying-jt. Nying- necessary. jt is "compassion/' kyi is "of," mik is "deliberateness," che is "with"; so You should have already developed shamatha and vipashyana before Page 24 mik-che kyi nying-jt is "deliberate compassion." It is the manual practice of practicing any new techniques. Once you are able to deal with basic sit- deliberately manufacturing compassion. In order to develop compassion, ting practice, you will also be able to do the bodhisattva type of breathing you have to go beyond aggression, to be without anger. It seems to be practice. If you were to begin with lojong practice immediately, without absolutely necessary to tame oneself and train oneself the grounding of shamatha and vipashyana, it might feel like punish- Often people do not want to do contemplative practice when they are ment, so it is important to first work with the basic meditation technique really enraged. When you are resentful about everything, it is very dif- and develop some discipline and patience. The sitting practice begins to ficult to practice. It feels like a tremendous insult. But it is particularly do something to your psychological state. Whether you become more at such times that the bodhisattva path begins to dawn on you. These and more neurotic, or less and less neurotic, something is still beginning times are highly opportune moments to practice the bodhisattva's type of to work. awareness of breathing.* It may seem hypocritical to deliberately cultivate compassion, but Deliberate compassion is the first development of compassion: you there is the possibility of hypocrisy with every thing you do. So it is recom- are developing compassion by means of the awareness of your breathing. mended that no matter what you feel, even if you feel hypocritical at the On the bodhisattva path, you are not so much trying to suppress aggres- beginning, you continue to cultivate compassion. You particularly do that sion, but rather to get over the hypocrisy of failing to see the aggression. in situations in your life where aggression is very vivid, for then you will The practice of training one's mind, or lojong, consists of various mental have some kind of experience. When Atisha Dipankara, a well-known exercises in which you recognize and deliberately let go of the tenseness teacher of lojong, was invited to Tibet, he had heard that the Tibetans of the aggression in your sitting meditation practice. To do so, you work were very kind and gentle people, so he thought he should bring some- body along to remind him of his compassion practice. He brought a very

* A reference to sending and taking practice, or tonglen. See chapter 37, "Point Two: short-tempered Bengali tea-boy with him. Later, he said that he need not Training in Relative Bodhichitta.” have brought the Bengali boy because there were enough Tibetans who

284 285 MIND TRAINING AND SLOGAN PRACTICE UNDERMINING AGGRESSION

were equally as bad. So you need constant reminders in your life, not only Resentment has the quality of a spoiled infant's angry cry You resent that on the bodhisattva path, but in Buddhism in general. you didn't get what you wanted, and underlying that is the basic resent- The path consists in taking advantage of whatever is happening to you ment that you have been trapped and you feel helpless. Resentment ties at the moment. You take advantage of aggression, or passion, or whatever you inward, and there is no communication, no openness. occurs in your life, and work with it. If you apply compassion practice Aggression causes tremendous resentment and tightness, but just get- when you are in a really bad mood, if you sit and do it, you will have a ting angry is not particularly problematic. With lojong, you are not giving very real experience of it. This does not mean that when you get angry, in to the aggression, but you are accentuating the reality of the aggres- you have to dash out to your meditation cushion and practice compassion, sion. You are being accommodating to the aggression. If you can get used but you can recall that instant or something like it and work with that. to aggression, that is a tremendous achievement. You have solved the rest You will definitely have enough memories to work with—they can last for of the world’s problems as well as your own. Through vipashyana prac- weeks, if not years. tice, you notice when the mind is filled with resentment, and because you notice it, it evaporates. Lojong is an extension of that approach. Basically, in order to become spontaneous, you have to be deliberate. N ondeliberate Compassion Since you are in the samsaric world already, you cannot start from the top. The next development of compassion is mikme nying-je. Mik is “deliberate,” The attainment of enlightenment is not sudden; it is always gradual. It is me is “not”; so mikme nying-je is “compassion without deliberate practice.” like exercise: if your body is very stiff, getting more exercise might be very It is the second stage of compassion, which follows the first stage, like painful in the beginning, but you need to exercise in order to move more meditation and postmeditation. In meditation, you sit and practice the smoothly. In this case, you are training to loosen up your psychological Page 25 awareness of breathing; in postmeditation, the experience of awareness body, to loosen that very stiff aggression through the practice of the six comes to you in daily life situations. First you sit, then you get up and paramitas. do other things, but the impression of the meditation, or the awareness, There is a certain true-believer quality in the teachings. Practice-lineage flashes on you. Likewise, the second stage of compassion is unformed, people are not scholarly or analytical; they just do what they are told. You not manufactured. are given certain things to do that sound very simpleminded. Such prac- At first, you need some kind of deliberate practice or direction. If tices are designed to manufacture something, to twist your mind a certain there is no direction, there is no way to proceed along the path. There is way, to steer you in a certain direction. You can't believe it will work, but just hypothetical shunyata, which does not lead you anywhere. You need once you begin to do it and to actually get into it, it does work. effort, but that effort has a watcher-less quality. You just practice, rather You might think lojong practice is a very benevolent and somewhat than watching yourself practice. You work with what comes up in your love-and-light approach of trying to be good to everybody and remain life. Life presents you with things, and you just work with them as you go pure and humble, but that is not the case. In fact, it is one of the bravest along. That is the very idea of taking refuge in the dharma as path. practices you can ever do, if you can actually let go. It is not so much that when you give, you lose. The problem is the resistance. With lojong, your aggression becomes workable; a spacious and a refreshing quality begins R emoving Resent ment to arise. As you become more advanced, the anger itself begins to pro- With lojong, you are acknowledging and facing that which is rather insult- duce spaciousness. But even if you are not so advanced, the afterthought ing to you. You let yourself be the lowest of the low. Later, you begin to of looking back on your aggression and resentment can bring a sense of realize that aggression is somewhat workable, that it does not seem to be spaciousness. as painful as before. It is not so much that you are destroying the aggres- Spaciousness is totally free of logic, totally free of reasoning mind. sion itself, but you are removing the resentment caused by that aggression. It is threefold purity. At the hinayana level, sudden, abstract, nonverbal,

286 287 MIND TRAINING AND SLOGAN PRACTICE

nonconceptualized flashes begin to dawn on you, so that the meditation comes to you. Similarly, at the mahayana level, when you begin to real- ize aggression as it is, there is a sudden flash of spaciousness, and the aggression is completely cleared out. It is like living in a stuffy room, and suddenly the window is wide open and fresh air is coming in. You are crammed in with the aggression and the resentment, but then you begin to see an entirely different approach, a completely new sense of things, a flash. With threefold purity, there is automatically a letting-go process. When aggression comes up, you begin to realize that aggression has no root; it   is just a phantom. When you, your actions, and the object of your actions have become open, almost nonexistent, the second type of compassion,      nondeliberate compassion, begins to develop. You may begin to feel relief that, after all, you are on the right path and something is happening to you. That sense:of gratification and appreciation is not a problem. Compassion at this point is infant compassion, on the level of trying    to crawl. It is not the full warmth and love of a bodhisattva's compassion, but the state of nonaggression as the result of a consciously developed Page 26 tL$ ĉL$Ÿē<đēy ×ēˆÀÍ< $ē process. Such compassion becomes very personal. You are building com- passion within yourself in order to remove your own pain and aggression, so it is more like relief or medicine than acting out of compassion for oth- ers. Having done that, the shifting reflections finally begin to settle down, and you can see the clear moon on the water without any distortion.

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he practices a guide to we’ll be doing help us develop T trust in our awakened heart, our bodhichitta. If compassionate living we could finally grasp how rich we are, our sense of heavy burden would diminish, and our sense of cu- riosity would increase. Pema Chödrön Bodhichitta has three qualities: (1) it is soft and gentle, which is compassion; (2) at the same time, it

Page 80 is clear and sharp, which is called prajna; and (3) it is open. This last quality of bodhichitta is called shunyata and is also known as emptiness. Emptiness sounds cold. However, bodhichitta isn’t cold at all, because there’s a heart quality—the warmth of com- passion—that pervades the space and the clarity. Compassion and openness and clarity are all one thing, and this one thing is called bodhichitta. Bodhichitta is our heart—our wounded, softened heart. Now, if you look for that soft heart that we guard so carefully—if you decide that you’re going to do a scientific exploration under the microscope and try to find that heart—you won’t find it. You can S hambhala look, but all you’ll find is some kind of tenderness. Boston There isn’t anything that you can cut out and put 2004 under the microscope. There isn’t anything that you

12 No Big Deal 13 14 No Big Deal can dissect or grasp. The more you look, the more scribe later—and we wouldn’t have any insight into you find just a feeling of tenderness tinged with our mind, into either our craziness or our wisdom. some kind of sadness. Next, there are five slogans that emphasize the This sadness is not about somebody mistreating openness of bodhichitta, the absolute quality of bod- us. This is inherent sadness, unconditioned sadness. hichitta. These point to the fact that, although we are It has part of our birthright, a family heirloom. It’s usually very caught up with the solidness and seri- been called the genuine heart of sadness. ousness of life, we could begin to stop making such a Sometimes we emphasize the compassionate as- big deal and connect with the spacious and joyful as- pect of our genuine heart, and this is called the rela- pect of our being. tive part of bodhichitta. Sometimes we emphasize the open, unfindable aspect of our heart, and this is The first of the absolute slogans is “Regard all dhar- called the absolute, this genuine heart that is just mas as dreams.” More simply, regard everything as a waiting to be discovered. dream. Life is a dream. Death is also a dream, for that

Page 81 matter; waking is a dream and sleeping is a dream. The first slogan of the seven points of mind train- Another way to put this is, “Every situation is a pass- ing is “First, train in the preliminaries.” The pre- ing memory.” liminaries are the basic meditation practice—benefi- We went for a walk this morning, but now it is a cial, supportive, warm-hearted, brilliant shamatha- memory. Every situation is a passing memory. As we vipashyana practice. When we say, “First, train in the live our lives, there is a lot of repetition—so many preliminaries,” it’s not as if we first do shamatha- mornings greeted, so many meals eaten, so many vipashyana practice and then graduate to something drives to work and drives home, so many times spent more advanced. Shamatha-vipashyana practice is not with our friends and family, again and again, over and only the earth that we stand on, it’s also the air we over. All of these situations bring up irritation, lust, breathe and the heart that beats inside us. Sha- anger, sadness, all kinds of things about the people matha-vipashyana practice is the essence of all other with whom we work or live or stand in line or fight practices as well. So when we say, “First, train in the traffic. So much will happen in the same way over preliminaries,” it simply means that without this and over again. It’s all an excellent opportunity to good base there’s nothing to build on. Without it we connect with this sense of each situation being like a couldn’t understand tonglen practice—which I’ll de- memory. No Big Deal 15 16 No Big Deal Just a few moments ago, you were standing in the kind of experience, even at sea level. It actually hall, and now it is a memory. But then it was so real. makes our world feel so much bigger. Now I’m talking, and what I have just said has already Without going into this much more, I’d like to passed. bring it down to our shamatha practice. The key is, It is said that with these slogans that are pointing it’s no big deal. We could all just lighten up. Regard to absolute truth—openness—one should not say, all dharmas as dreams. With our minds we make a “Oh yes, I know,” but that one should just allow a big deal out of ourselves, out of our pain, and out of mental gap to open, and wonder, “Could it be? Am I our problems. dreaming this?” Pinch yourself. Dreams are just as If someone instructed you to catch the beginning, convincing as waking reality. You could begin to con- middle, and end of every thought, you’d find that they template the fact that perhaps things are not as solid don’t seem to have a beginning, middle, and end. or as reliable as they seem. They definitely are there. You’re talking to yourself, Sometimes we just have this experience automati- you’re creating your whole identity, your whole world,

Page 82 cally; it happens to us naturally. I read recently about your whole sense of problem, your whole sense of someone who went hiking in the high mountains and contentment, with this continual stream of thought. was alone in the wilderness at a very high altitude. If But if you really try to find thoughts, they’re always any of you have been at high altitudes, you know the changing. As the slogan says, each situation and even light there is different. There’s something more blue, each word and thought and emotion is passing mem- more luminous about it. Things seem lighter and not ory. It’s like trying to see when water turns into steam. so dense as in the middle of a big city, particularly if You can never find that precise moment. You know you stay there for some time alone. You’re sometimes there’s water, because you can drink it and make it not sure if you’re awake or asleep. This man wrote into soup and wash in it, and you know there’s steam, that he began to feel as if he were cooking his meals but you can’t see precisely when one changes into the in a dream and that when he would go for a walk, he other. Everything is like that. was walking toward mountains that were made out of Have you ever been caught in the heavy-duty sce- air. He felt that the letter he was writing was made of nario of feeling defeated and hurt, and then some- air, that his hand was a phantom pen writing these how, for no particular reason, you just drop it? It just phantom words, and that he was going to send it off goes, and you wonder why you made “much ado to a phantom receiver. Sometimes we, too, have that about nothing.” What was that all about? It also hap- No Big Deal 17 18 No Big Deal pens when you fall in love with somebody; you’re so be extremely gentle. Let the whole thing be soft. completely into thinking about the person twenty- Breathing out, the instruction is to touch your breath four hours a day. You are haunted and you want him as it goes, to be with your breath. Let that be like re- or her so badly. Then a little while later, “I don’t know laxing out. Sense the breath going out into big space where we went wrong, but the feeling’s gone and I and dissolving into space. You’re not trying to clutch just can’t get it back.” We all know this feeling of how it, not trying to furrow your brow and catch that we make things a big deal and then realize that we’re breath as if you won’t be a good person unless you making a lot out of nothing. grab that breath. You’re simply relaxing outward with I’d like to encourage us all to lighten up, to practice your breath. with a lot of gentleness. This is not the drill sergeant Labeling our thoughts is a powerful support for saying, “Lighten up or else.” I have found that if we lightening up, a very helpful way to reconnect with can possibly use anything we hear against ourselves, shunyata—this open dimension of our being, this we usually do. For instance, you find yourself being fresh, unbiased dimension of our mind. When we

Page 83 tense and remember that I said to lighten up, and come to that place where we say, “Thinking,” we can then you feel, “Basically, I’d better stop sitting be- just say it with an unbiased attitude and with tremen- cause I can’t lighten up and I’m not a candidate for dous gentleness. Regard the thoughts as bubbles and discovering bodhichitta or anything else.” the labeling like touching them with a feather. Gentleness in our practice and in our life helps There’s just this light touch—”Thinking”—and they to awaken bodhichitta. It’s like remembering some- dissolve back into the space. thing. This compassion, this clarity, this openness are Don’t worry about achieving. Don’t worry about like something we have forgotten. Sitting here being perfection. Just be there each moment as best you gentle with ourselves, we’re rediscovering something. can. When you realize you’ve wandered off again, It’s like a mother reuniting with her child; having simply very lightly acknowledge that. This light touch been lost to each other for a long, long time, they re- is the golden key to reuniting with our openness. unite. The way to reunite with bodhichitta is to The slogan says to regard all dharmas—that is, re- lighten up in your practice and in your whole life. gard everything—as a dream. In this case, we could Meditation practice is a formal way in which you say, “Regard all thoughts as a dream,” and just touch can get used to lightening up. I encourage you to fol- them and let them go. When you notice you’re mak- low the instructions faithfully, but within that form to ing a really big deal, just notice that with a lot of gen- No Big Deal 19 tleness, a lot of heart. No big deal. If the thoughts go, and you still feel anxious and tense, you could allow 3 that to be there, with a lot of space around it. Just let it be. When thoughts come up again, see them for Pulling Out the Rug what they are. It’s no big deal. You can loosen up, lighten up, whatever. That’s the essential meaning of the absolute bod- s I said before, the main instruction is sim- hichitta slogans—to connect with the open, spacious A ply to lighten up. By taking that attitude toward quality of your mind, so that you can see that there’s one’s practice and one’s life, by taking that more gen- no need to shut down and make such a big deal about tle and appreciative attitude toward oneself and oth- everything. Then when you do make a big deal, you ers, the sense of burden that all of us carry around can give that a lot of space and let it go. begins to decrease. In sitting practice, there’s no way you can go

Page 84 wrong, wherever you find yourself. Just relax. Relax The next slogan is “Examine the nature of unborn your shoulders, relax your stomach, relax your heart, awareness.” The real intention of this slogan is to pull relax your mind. Bring in as much gentleness as you the rug out from under you in case you think you un- can. The technique is already quite precise. It has a derstood the previous slogan. If you feel proud of structure, it has a form. So within that form, move yourself because of how you really understood that with warmth and gentleness. That’s how we awaken everything is like a dream, then this slogan is here to bodhichitta. challenge that smug certainty. It’s saying, “Well, who is this anyway who thinks that they discovered that everything is like a dream?” “Examine the nature of unborn awareness.” Who is this “I”? Where did it come from? Who is the one who realizes anything? Who is it who’s aware? This slogan points to the transparency of everything, in- cluding our beloved identity, this precious M-E. Who is this me? The armor we erect around our soft hearts causes

20 Pulling Out the Rug 21 22 Pulling Out the Rug a lot of misery. But don’t be deceived, it’s very trans- This isn’t how we usually go about things, in case parent. The more vivid it gets, the more clearly you you hadn’t noticed. We usually try to get ground see it, the more you realize that this shield—this co- under our feet. It’s as if you were in a spaceship going coon—is just made up of thoughts that we churn out to the moon, and you looked back at this tiny planet and regard as solid. The shield is not made out of Earth and realized that things were vaster than any iron. The armor is not made out of metal. In fact, it’s mind could conceive and you just couldn’t handle it, made out of passing memory. so you started worrying about what you were going to The absolute quality of bodhichitta can never be have for lunch. There you are in outer space with this pinned down. If you can talk about it, that’s not it. So sense of the world being so vast, and then you bring if you think that awakened heart is something, it isn’t. it all down into this very tiny world of worrying about It’s passing memory. And if you think this big burden what’s for lunch: hamburgers or hot dogs. We do this of ego, this big monster cocoon, is something, it isn’t. all the time. It’s just passing memory. Yet it’s so vivid. The more In “Examine the nature of unborn awareness,” ex-

Page 85 you practice, the more vivid it gets. It’s a paradox—it amine is an interesting word. It’s not a matter of look- can’t be found, and yet it couldn’t be more vivid. ing and seeing—“Now I’ve got it!”—but a process of We spend a lot of time trying to nail everything examination and contemplation that leads into being down, concretizing, just trying to make everything able to relax with insecurity or edginess or restless- solid and secure. We also spend a lot of time trying to ness. Much joy comes from that. dull or soften or fend off that vividness. When we “Examine the nature of unborn awareness.” Sim- awaken our hearts, we’re changing the whole pattern, ply examine the nature of the one who has insight— but not by creating a new pattern. We are moving fur- contemplate that. We could question this solid iden- ther and further away from concretizing and making tity that we have, this sense of a person frozen in time things so solid and always trying to get some ground and space, this monolithic ME. In sitting practice, under our feet. This moving away from comfort and saying “thinking” with a soft touch introduces a ques- security, this stepping out into what is unknown, un- tion mark about who is doing all this thinking. Who’s charted, and shaky—that’s called enlightenment, lib- churning out what? What’s happening to whom? eration. Krishnamurti talks about it in his book Who am I that’s thinking or that’s labeling thinking or Liberation from the Known, Alan Watts in The Wis- that’s going back to the breath or hurting or wishing dom of Insecurity. It’s all getting at the same thing. lunch would happen soon? Pulling Out the Rug 23 24 Pulling Out the Rug *** feelings that maybe you’re not okay. Well, no big deal. The next slogan is “Self-liberate even the antidote.” None of us is okay and all of us are fine. It’s not just In case you think you understood “Examine the na- one way. We are walking, talking paradoxes. ture of unborn awareness,” let go even of that under- When we contemplate all dharmas as dreams and standing, that pride, that security, that sense of regard all our thoughts as passing memory—labeling ground. The antidote that you’re being asked to liber- them, “Thinking,” touching them very lightly—then ate is shunyata itself. Let go of even the notion of things will not appear to be so monolithic. We will emptiness, openness, or space. feel a lightening of our burden. Labeling your There was a crazy-wisdom teacher in India named thoughts as “thinking” will help you see the trans- Saraha. He said that those who believe that every- parency of thoughts, that things are actually very thing is solid and real are stupid, like cattle, but that light and illusory. Every time your stream of thoughts those who believe that everything is empty are even solidifies into a heavy story line that seems to be tak- more stupid. Everything is changing all the time, and ing you elsewhere, label that “thinking.” Then you

Page 86 we keep wanting to pin it down, to fix it. So whenever will be able to see how all the passion that’s con- you come up with a solid conclusion, let the rug be nected with these thoughts, or all the aggression or pulled out. You can pull out your own rug, and you all the heartbreak, is simply passing memory. If even can also let life pull it out for you. for a second you actually had a full experience that it Having the rug pulled out from under you is a big was all just thought, that would be a moment of full opportunity to change your fundamental pattern. It’s awakening. like changing the DNA. One way to pull out your This is how we begin to wake up our innate ability own rug is by just letting go, lightening up, being to let go, to reconnect with shunyata, or absolute more gentle, and not making such a big deal. bodhichitta. Also, this is how we awaken our com- This approach is very different from practicing af- passion, our heart, our innate softness, relative bod- firmations, which has been a popular thing to do in hichitta. Use the labeling and use it with great some circles. Affirmations are like screaming that gentleness as a way to touch those solid dramas and you’re okay in order to overcome this whisper that acknowledge that you just made them all up with this you’re not. That’s a big contrast to actually uncover- conversation you’re having with yourself. ing the whisper, realizing that it’s passing memory, When we say “Self-liberate even the antidote,” and moving closer to all those fears and all those edgy that’s encouragement to simply touch and then let go Pulling Out the Rug 25 26 Pulling Out the Rug of whatever you come up with. Whatever bright solu- of all phenomena. We can rest in the fundamental tions or big plans you come up with, just let them go, openness and enjoy the display of whatever arises let them go, let them go. Whether you seem to have without making such a big deal. just uncovered the root of a whole life of misery or So if you think that everything is solid, that’s one you’re thinking of a root beer float—whatever you’re trap, and if you change that for a different belief sys- thinking—let it go. When something pleasant comes tem, that’s another trap. We have to pull the rug out up, instead of rushing around the room like a windup from our belief systems altogether. We can do that by toy, you could just pause and notice, and let go. This letting go of our beliefs, and also our sense of what is technique provides a gentle approach that breaks up right and wrong, by just going back to the simplicity the solidity of thoughts and memories. If the memory and the immediacy of our present experience, resting was a strong one, you’ll probably find that something in the nature of alaya. is left behind when the words go. When that hap- pens, you’re getting closer to the heart. You’re getting

Page 87 closer to the bodhichitta. These thoughts that come up, they’re not bad. Anyway, meditation isn’t about getting rid of thoughts—you’ll think forever. Nevertheless, if you follow the breath and label your thoughts, you learn to let things go. Beliefs of solidness, beliefs of empti- ness, let it all go. If you learn to let things go, thoughts are no problem. But at this point, for most of us, our thoughts are very tied up with our identity, with our sense of problem and our sense of how things are.

The next absolute slogan is “Rest in the nature of alaya, the essence.” We can learn to let thoughts go and just rest our mind in its natural state, in alaya, which is a word that means the open primordial basis Start Where You Are 45 how you experience your world. In fact, it will trans- 6 form how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for Start Where You Are others, you’re doing for yourself. When you exchange yourself for others in the practice of tonglen, it be- comes increasingly uncertain what is out there and here are two slogans that go along with the what is in here. T tonglen practice: “Sending and taking should be If you have rage and righteously act it out and practiced alternately. / These two should ride the blame it all on others, it’s really you who suffers. The breath”—which is actually a description of tonglen other people and the environment suffer also, but and how it works—and “Begin the sequence of send- you suffer more because you’re being eaten up inside ing and taking with yourself.” with rage, causing you to hate yourself more and more.

Page 88 The slogan “Begin the sequence of sending and tak- We act out because, ironically, we think it will ing with yourself” is getting at the point that compas- bring us some relief. We equate it with happiness. sion starts with making friends with ourselves, and Often there is some relief, for the moment. When particularly with our poisons—the messy areas. As you have an addiction and you fulfill that addiction, we practice tonglen—taking and sending—and con- there is a moment in which you feel some relief. template the lojong slogans, gradually it begins to Then the nightmare gets worse. So it is with aggres- dawn on us how totally interconnected we all are. sion. When you get to tell someone off, you might Now people know that what we do to the rivers in feel pretty good for a while, but somehow the sense South America affects the whole world, and what we of righteous indignation and hatred grows, and it do to the air in Alaska affects the whole world. Every- hurts you. It’s as if you pick up hot coals with your thing is interrelated—including ourselves, so this is bare hands and throw them at your enemy. If the very important, this making friends with ourselves. coals happen to hit him, he will be hurt. But in the It’s the key to a more sane, compassionate planet. meantime, you are guaranteed to be burned. What you do for yourself—any gesture of kind- On the other hand, if we begin to surrender to our- ness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of hon- selves—begin to drop the story line and experience esty and clear seeing toward yourself—will affect what all this messy stuff behind the story line feels

44 46 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 47 like—we begin to find bodhichitta, the tenderness and begin to feel what’s left. We can begin to feel the that’s under all that harshness. By being kind to our- energy of our heart, our body, our neck, our head, our selves, we become kind to others. By being kind to stomach—that basic feeling that’s underneath all of others—if it’s done properly, with proper under- the story lines. If we can relate directly with that, standing—we benefit as well. So the first point is then all of the rest is our wealth. When we don’t act that we are completely interrelated. What you do to out and we don’t repress, then our passion, our ag- others, you do to yourself. What you do to yourself, gression, and our ignorance become our wealth. The you do to others. poison already is the medicine. You don’t have to Start where you are. This is very important. Ton- transform anything. Simply letting go of the story glen practice (and all meditation practice) is not line is what it takes, which is not that easy. That light about later, when you get it all together and you’re touch of acknowledging what we’re thinking and let- this person you really respect. You may be the most ting it go is the key to connecting with this wealth violent person in the world—that’s a fine place to that we have. With all the messy stuff, no matter how

Page 89 start. That’s a very rich place to start—juicy, smelly. messy it is, just start where you are—not tomorrow, You might be the most depressed person in the world, not later, not yesterday when you were feeling bet- the most addicted person in the world, the most jeal- ter—but now. Start now, just as you are. ous person in the world. You might think that there Milarepa is one of the lineage holders of the Kagyü are no others on the planet who hate themselves as lineage of Tibetan Buddhism. Milarepa is one of the much as you do. All of that is a good place to start. heroes, one of the brave ones, a very crazy, unusual Just where you are—that’s the place to start. fellow. He was a loner who lived in caves by himself As we begin to practice shamatha-vipashyana and meditated wholeheartedly for years. He was meditation, following our breath and labeling our extremely stubborn and determined. If he couldn’t thoughts, we can gradually begin to realize how pro- find anything to eat for a couple of years, he just ate found it is just to let those thoughts go, not rejecting nettles and turned green, but he would never stop them, not trying to repress them, but just simply practicing. acknowledging them as violent thoughts, thoughts of One evening Milarepa returned to his cave after hatred, thoughts of wanting, thoughts of poverty, gathering firewood, only to find it filled with demons. thoughts of loathing, whatever they might be. We They were cooking his food, reading his books, sleep- can see it all as thinking and can let the thoughts go ing in his bed. They had taken over the joint. He knew 48 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 49 about nonduality of self and other, but he still didn’t work with by learning how to be more gentle, how to quite know how to get these guys out of his cave. relax, and how to surrender to the situations and peo- Even though he had the sense that they were just a ple in our lives. projection of his own mind—all the unwanted parts of himself—he didn’t know how to get rid of them. Having said all that, now I’ll talk about tonglen. I’ve So first he taught them the dharma. He sat on this noticed that people generally eat up the teachings, seat that was higher than they were and said things to but when it comes to having to do tonglen, they say, them about how we are all one. He talked about com- “Oh, it sounded good, but I didn’t realize you actually passion and shunyata and how poison is medicine. meant it.” In its essence, this practice of tonglen is, Nothing happened. The demons were still there. when anything is painful or undesirable, to breathe it Then he lost his patience and got angry and ran at in. That’s another way of saying you don’t resist it. You them. They just laughed at him. Finally, he gave up surrender to yourself, you acknowledge who you are, and just sat down on the floor, saying, “I’m not going you honor yourself. As unwanted feelings and emo-

Page 90 away and it looks like you’re not either, so let’s just tions arise, you actually breathe them in and connect live here together.” with what all humans feel. We all know what it is to At that point, all of them left except one. Mila- feel pain in its many guises. repa said, “Oh, this one is particularly vicious.” (We This breathing in is done for yourself, in the sense all know that one. Sometimes we have lots of them that it’s a personal and real experience, but simulta- like that. Sometimes we feel that’s all we’ve got.) He neously there’s no doubt that you’re at the same time didn’t know what to do, so he surrendered himself developing your kinship with all beings. If you can even further. He walked over and put himself right know it in yourself, you can know it in everyone. If into the mouth of the demon and said, “Just eat me you’re in a jealous rage and it occurs to you to actually up if you want to.” Then that demon left too. The breathe it in rather than blame it on someone else— moral of the story is, when the resistance is gone, so if you get in touch with the arrow in your heart—it’s are the demons. quite accessible to you at that very moment that That’s the underlying logic of tonglen practice and there are people all over the world feeling exactly also of lojong altogether. When the resistance is what you’re feeling. This practice cuts through cul- gone, so are the demons. It’s like a koan that we can ture, economic status, intelligence, race, religion. 50 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 51 People everywhere feel pain—jealousy, anger, being pleasure. When we begin to breathe in the pain in- left out, feeling lonely. Everybody feels that exactly stead of pushing it away, we begin to open our hearts the way you feel it. The story lines vary, but the un- to what’s unwanted. When we relate directly in this derlying feeling is the same for us all. way to the unwanted areas of our lives, the airless By the same token, if you feel some sense of de- room of ego begins to be ventilated. In the same way, light—if you connect with what for you is inspiring, when we open up our clenched hearts and let the opening, relieving, relaxing—you breathe it out, you good things go—radiate them out and share them give it away, you send it out to everyone else. Again, with others—that’s also completely reversing the it’s very personal. It starts with your feeling of delight, logic of ego, which is to say, reversing the logic of suf- your feeling of connecting with a bigger perspective, fering. Lojong logic is the logic that transcends the your feeling of relief or relaxation. If you’re willing to messy and unmessy, transcends pain and pleasure. drop the story line, you feel exactly what all other Lojong logic begins to open up the space and it be- human beings feel. It’s shared by all of us. In this way gins to ventilate this whole cocoon that we find our-

Page 91 if we do the practice personally and genuinely, it selves in. Whether you are breathing in or breathing awakens our sense of kinship with all beings. out, you are opening the heart, which is awakening The other thing that’s very important is absolute bodhichitta. bodhichitta. In order to do tonglen, we’ve first estab- lished the ground of absolute bodhichitta because it’s So now the technique. Tonglen practice has four important that when you breathe in and connect stages. The first stage is flashing openness, or flashing with the vividness and reality of pain there’s also absolute bodhichitta. The slogan “Rest in the nature some sense of space. There’s that vast, tender, empty of alaya, the essence” goes along with this flash of heart of bodhichitta, your awakened heart. Right in openness, which is done very quickly. There is some the pain there’s a lot of room, a lot of openness. You sort of natural flash of silence and space. It’s a very begin to touch in on that space when you relate di- simple thing. rectly to the messy stuff, because by relating directly The second stage is working with the texture. You with the messy stuff you are completely undoing the visualize breathing in dark, heavy, and hot and way ego holds itself together. breathing out white, light, and cool. The idea is that We shield our heart with an armor woven out of you are always breathing in the same thing: you are very old habits of pushing away pain and grasping at essentially breathing in the cause of suffering, the 52 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 53 origin of suffering, which is fixation, the tendency to ing at that very moment. The main point is that the hold on to ego with a vengeance. suffering is real, totally untheoretical. It should be You may have noticed, when you become angry or heartfelt, tangible, honest, and vivid. poverty-stricken or jealous, that you experience that The fourth stage extends this wish to relieve suffer- fixation as black, hot, solid, and heavy. That is actu- ing much further. You start with the homeless person ally the texture of poison, the texture of neurosis and and then extend out to all those who are suffering fixation. You may have also noticed times when you just as she is, or to all those who are suicidal like your are all caught up in yourself, and then some sort of uncle or to all those who are feeling the jealousy or contrast or gap occurs. It’s very spacious. That’s the addiction or contempt that you are feeling. You use experience of mind that is not fixated on phenomena; specific instances of misery and pain as a stepping it’s the experience of openness. The texture of that stone for understanding the universal suffering of openness is generally experienced as light, white, people and animals everywhere. Simultaneously, you fresh, clear, and cool. breathe in the pain of your uncle and of all the

Page 92 So in the second stage of tonglen you work with zillions of other desperate, lonely people like him. those textures. You breathe in black, heavy, and hot Simultaneously, you send out spaciousness or cheer- through all the pores of your body, and you radiate fulness or a bunch of flowers, whatever would be out white, light, and cool, also through all the pores healing, to your uncle and all the others. What you of your body, 360 degrees. You work with the texture feel for one person, you can extend to all people. until you feel that it’s synchronized: black is coming You need to work with both the third and fourth in and white is going out on the medium of the stages—with both the immediate suffering of one breath—in and out, in and out. person and the universal suffering of all. If you were The third stage is working with a specific heartfelt only to extend out to all sentient beings, the practice object of suffering. You breathe in the pain of a spe- would be very theoretical. It would never actually cific person or animal that you wish to help. You touch your heart. On the other hand, if you were to breathe out to that person spaciousness or kindness work only with your own or someone else’s fixation, it or a good meal or a cup of coffee—whatever you feel would lack vision. It would be too narrow. Working would lighten their load. You can do this for anyone: with both situations together makes the practice real the homeless mother that you pass on the street, your and heartfelt; at the same time, it provides vision and suicidal uncle, or yourself and the pain you are feel- a way for you to work with everyone else in the world. 54 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 55 You can bring all of your unfinished karmic busi- it destroys the whole mechanism of ego. So you ness right into the practice. In fact, you should invite breathe in. it in. Suppose that you are involved in a horrific rela- Then, you breathe out sympathy, relaxation, and tionship: every time you think of a particular person spaciousness. Instead of just a small, dark situation, you get furious. That is very useful for tonglen! Or you allow a lot of space for these feelings. Breathing perhaps you feel depressed. It was all you could do to out is like ventilating the whole thing, airing it out. get out of bed today. You’re so depressed that you Breathing out is like opening up your arms and just want to stay in bed for the rest of your life; you have letting go. It’s fresh air. Then you breathe the rage in considered hiding under your bed. That is very useful again—the black, heavy hotness of it. Then you for tonglen practice. The specific fixation should be breathe out, ventilating the whole thing, allowing a real, just like that. lot of space. Let’s use another example. You may be formally What you are actually doing is cultivating kindness doing tonglen or just sitting having your coffee, and toward yourself. It is very simple in that way. You

Page 93 here comes Mortimer, the object of your passion, ag- don’t think about it; you don’t philosophize; you sim- gression, or ignorance. You want to hit him or hug ply breathe in a very real klesha. You own it com- him, or maybe you wish that he weren’t there at all. pletely and then aerate it, allowing a lot of space But let’s say you’re angry. The object is Mortimer when you breathe out. This, in itself, is an amazing and here comes the poison: fury. You breathe that in. practice—even if it didn’t go any further—because at The idea is to develop sympathy for your own confu- this level you are still working on yourself. But the sion. The technique is that you do not blame Mor- real beauty of the practice is that you then extend timer; you also do not blame yourself. Instead, there that out. is just liberated fury—hot, black, and heavy. Experi- Without pretending, you can acknowledge that ence it as fully as you can. about two billion other sentient beings are feeling the You breathe the anger in; you remove the object; exact same rage that you are at that moment. They you stop thinking about him. In fact, he was just a are experiencing it exactly the way you are experienc- useful catalyst. Now you own the anger completely. ing it. They may have a different object, but the ob- You drive all blames into yourself. It takes a lot of ject isn’t the point. The point is the rage itself. You bravery, and it’s extremely insulting to ego. In fact, breathe it in from all of them, so they no longer have 56 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 57 to have it. It doesn’t make your own rage any greater; In tonglen practice, you have the chance to own that it is just rage, just fixation on rage, which causes so completely, not blaming anybody, and to ventilate it much suffering. with the outbreath. Then you might better under- Sometimes, at that moment, you get a glimpse of stand why some other people in the room look so why there is murder and rape, why there is war, why grim: it isn’t because they hate you but because they people burn down buildings, why there is so much feel the same kind of timidity and don’t want to look misery in the world. It all comes from feeling that anyone in the face. In this way, the tonglen practice rage and acting it out instead of taking it in and airing is both a practice of making friends with yourself and it. It all turns into hatred and misery, which pollutes a practice of compassion. the world and obviously perpetuates the vicious cycle By practicing in this way, you definitely develop of suffering and frustration. Because you feel rage, your sympathy for others, and you begin to under- therefore you have the kindling, the connection, for stand them a lot better. In that way your own pain is understanding the rage of all sentient beings. First like a stepping stone. Your heart develops more and

Page 94 you work with your own klesha; then you quickly ex- more, and even if someone comes up and insults you, tend that and breathe it all in. you could genuinely understand the whole situation At that point, simultaneously, it is no longer your because you understand so well where everybody’s own particular burden; it is just the rage of sentient coming from. You also realize that you can help by beings, which includes you. You breathe that in, and simply breathing in the pain of others and breathing you breathe out a sense of ventilation, so that all sen- out that ventilation. So tonglen starts with relating tient beings could experience that. This goes for any- directly to specific suffering—yours or someone thing that bothers you. The more it bothers you, the else’s—which you then use to understand that this more awake you’re going to be when you do tonglen. suffering is universal, shared by us all. The things that really drive us nuts have enormous Almost everybody can begin to do tonglen by energy in them. That is why we fear them. It could thinking of someone he or she loves very dearly. It’s even be your own timidity: you are so timid that you sometimes easier to think of your children than your are afraid to walk up and say hello to someone, afraid husband or wife or mother or father, because those to look someone in the eye. It takes a lot of energy to relationships may be more complicated. There are maintain that. It’s the way you keep yourself together. some people in your life whom you love very straight- 58 Start Where You Are Start Where You Are 59 forwardly without complication: old people or people practice moves to people you actually hate, people who are ill or little children, or people who have been you consider to be your enemies or to have actually kind to you. harmed you. This expansion evolves by doing the When he was eight years old, Trungpa Rinpoche practice. You cannot fake these things; therefore you saw a whimpering puppy being stoned to death by a start with the things that are close to your heart. laughing, jeering crowd. He said that after that, doing It’s useful to think of tonglen practice in four tonglen practice was straightforward for him: all he stages: had to do was think of that dog and his heart would 1. Flashing openness start to open instantly. There was nothing compli- 2. Working with the texture, breathing in dark, cated about it. He would have done anything to heavy, and hot and breathing out white, light, breathe in the suffering of that animal and to breathe and cool out relief. So the idea is to start with something like 3. Working with relieving a specific, heartfelt in- that, something that activates your heart. stance of suffering Page 95 So you think of a puppy being stoned and dying in 4. Extending that wish to help everyone pain, and you breathe that in. Then, it is no longer just a puppy. It is your connection with the realization The main thing is to really get in touch with fixa- that there are puppies and people suffering unjustly tion and the power of klesha activity in yourself. This like that all over the world. You immediately extend makes other people’s situations completely accessi- the practice and breathe in the suffering of all the ble and real to you. Then, when it becomes real and people who are suffering like that animal. vivid, always remember to extend it out. Let your own It is also possible to start with the puppy or your experience be a stepping stone for working with the uncle or yourself and then gradually extend out fur- world. ther and further. Having started with the wish to relieve your sister’s depression, you could extend further and breathe in the depression of people who are somewhat “neutral”—the ones to whom you are not that close but who also don’t cause you fear or anger. You breathe in the depression and send out re- lief to all those “neutral” people. Then, gradually, the Training the Mind Page 96 #&rftJ`EŽDxJ Ž The Practice of Lojong ;Jjdzbk>;Š 2ŠiJ8Y>ii ŠV>Xm.SŠ;Kiu>ii Š .X;Š .RRŠQJX;iŠ^BŠ;>3>bmK^XŠ .X;Š‡ix>-t>XkŠ2Š^mF>diŠ MKdi>Š 3Md4{Vim.X3>iŠ .X;Š iJn|-kJ^YiŠ .f>Š .XŠ KXk>Ef.RŠ b-fkŠ ^BŠ 3^X;MnM^X>;Š >€Kik>X3>Š *F>Š k>X;Š k^Š -dMi>Š -iŠ iz;;>XŠ   + ( #&+$+ mM^Xi Ši^Š>ŠiF^{S=\kŠ2>ŠizfbfKi>;ŠlF-kŠX-k|o.RŠ3.R.VKr>jŠ-X;Šzb F>-}.RiŠ ^33|fŠNXŠ 2^mFŠ^zoŠbdK}-k>Š .X;Š^zpŠbz2TJ3ŠRK}>iŠ"z;;GJjkiŠ  $+ $++) + ;^ŠX^kŠ2>SM>}>ŠJXŠ;K~KX>Š -zq^diFKbŠ ^dŠ^WXKb^k>XkŠE^}>dX.X3>Š^BŠ .XŠQJX;ŠmFJXEiŠPzikŠF-bb>XŠF>XŠnF>Šbˆc>eŠ3^X;KkK^XiŠ0;Š6d 4{Vik.X3>iŠ 3^V>Š k^E>kF>dŠ 2ē)F-XkJ;>}-Š k?RiŠ ziŠ KXŠ FKiŠ 3F-bkAŠ ^XŠb-r>Y4> Š
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'4U Bringing All That We Meet to the Path 61 62 Bringing All That We Meet to the Path fire alarm rings and confusion erupts, we feel irri- wisdom, kindness, and sense of humor?” That’s a tated and upset. much greater challenge than blaming and hating and It’s all opportunity for practice. There is no inter- acting out. ruption. We would like to believe that when things How can we help? The way that we can help is by are still and calm, that’s the real stuff, and when making friends with our own feelings of hatred, be- things are messy, confused, and chaotic, we’ve done wilderment, and so forth. Then we can accept them something wrong, or more usually someone else has in others. With this practice you begin to realize that done something to ruin our beautiful meditation. As you’re capable of playing all the parts. It’s not just someone once said about a loud, bossy woman, “them”; it’s “us” and “them.” “What is that woman doing in my sacred world?” I used to feel outrage when I read about parents Another point about this slogan is that part of abusing their children, particularly physically. I used awakening is to cultivate honesty and clear seeing. to get righteously indignant—until I became a Sometimes people take the lojong teachings to mean mother. I remember very clearly one day, when my Page 102 that if you’re not to blame others but instead to con- six-month-old son was screaming and crying and nect with the feelings beneath your own story line, it covered in oatmeal and my two-and-a-half-year-old would be wrong to say that someone has harmed you. daughter was pulling on me and knocking things However, part of honesty, clear seeing, and straight- off the table, thinking, “I understand why all those forwardness is being able to acknowledge that harm mothers hurt their children. I understand perfectly. has been done. The first noble truth—the very first It’s only that I’ve been brought up in a culture that teaching of the Buddha—is that there is suffering. doesn’t encourage me that way, so I’m not going Suffering does exist as part of the human experience. to do it. But at this moment, everything in me People harm each other—we harm others and others wants to eradicate completely these two sweet little harm us. To know that is clear seeing. children.” This is tricky business. What’s the difference be- So lest you find yourself condescendingly doing tween seeing that harm has been done and blaming? tonglen for the other one who’s so confused, you Perhaps it is that rather than point the finger of could remember that this is a practice where com- blame, we raise questions: “How can I communi- passion begins to arise in you because you yourself cate? How can I help the harm that has been done have been there. You’ve been angry, jealous, and unravel itself? How can I help others find their own lonely. You know what it’s like and you know how Bringing All That We Meet to the Path 63 64 Bringing All That We Meet to the Path sometimes you do strange things. Because you’re with the enemy—heart to heart—is the only way lonely, you say cruel words; because you want some- that things can change. As long as we hate the one to love you, you insult them. Exchanging yourself enemy, then we suffer and the enemy suffers and for others begins to occur when you can see where the world suffers. someone is because you’ve been there. It doesn’t The only way to effect real reform is without ha- happen because you’re better than they are but be- tred. This is the message of Martin Luther King, of cause human beings share the same stuff. The more Cesar Chavez, of Mother Teresa. Gerald Red Elk—a you know your own, the more you’re going to under- close friend and teacher who was a Sioux elder—told stand others. me that as a young man he had been filled with ha- When the world is filled with evil, how do we tred for how his people had been, and continue to be, transform unwanted situations into the path of awak- treated. Because of his hatred, he was alcoholic and ening? One way is to flash absolute bodhichitta. But miserable. But during the Second World War, when most of the techniques have to do with relative bod- he was in Europe, something in him shifted; he saw Page 103 hichitta, which is to say, awakening our connection that he was being poisoned by his hatred. He came with the soft spot, reconnecting with the soft spot, back from the war, and for the rest of his life he tried not only through the stuff we like but also through to bring back the sense of spirit and confidence and the messy stuff. dignity of the young people in his tribe. His main People have plenty of reasons to be angry. We have message was not to hate but to learn to communicate to acknowledge this. We are angry. But blaming the with all beings. He had a very big mind. other doesn’t solve anything. Ishi had plenty of reasons to be angry. His whole Another slogan says, “All dharma agrees at one tribe had been killed, methodically, one by one. point.” No matter what the teachings are—sha- There was no one left but him. But he wasn’t angry. matha-vipashyana instruction, lojong instruction, We could learn a lesson from him. No matter what’s any instruction of sanity and health from any tradi- happening, if we can relate to the soft spot that’s tion of wisdom—the point at which they all agree is underneath our rage and can connect with what’s to let go of holding on to yourself. That’s the way of there, then we can relate to the enemy in a way becoming at home in your world. This is not to say in which we can start to be able to exchange ourself that ego is sin. Ego is not sin. Ego is not something for other. Some sense of being able to communicate that you get rid of. Ego is something that you come to 70 Drive All Blames into One This is true in Israel with the Arabs and the Jews. 8 This is true in Northern Ireland with the Protestants and the Catholics. The same is true everywhere, and Drive All Blames into One it’s getting worse. In every corner of the world, the same is true. When we look at the world in this way we see that ’d like to talk a bit about another slogan, it all comes down to the fact that no one is ever en- I “Drive all blames into one.” When we say, as in a couraged to feel the underlying anxiety, the underly- previous slogan, “When the world is filled with evil,” ing edginess, the underlying soft spot, and therefore we mean, “When the world is filled with the results we think that blaming others is the only way. Reading of ego clinging.” When the world is filled with ego just one newspaper, we can see that blaming others clinging or with attachment to a particular outcome, doesn’t work. there is a lot of pain. But these painful situations We have to look at our own lives as well: How are Page 104 can be transformed into the path of bodhi. One of we doing with our Juans and Juanitas? Often they’re the ways to do that is to drive all blames into one. To the people with whom we have the most intimate re- see how this works, let’s look at the result of blam- lationships. They really get to us because we can’t ing others. just shake them off by moving across town or chang- I had someone buy me the New York Times on ing seats on the bus, or whatever we have the luxury Sunday so I could look at the result of people blam- of doing with mere acquaintances, whom we also ing others. In Yugoslavia, there’s a very painful situa- loathe. tion. The Croats and the Serbs are murdering each The point is that if we think there is any difference other, raping each other, killing children and old between how we relate with the people who irritate people. If you asked someone on either side what us and the situation in Northern Ireland, Yugoslavia, they wanted, they would say they just want to be the Middle East, or Somalia, we’re wrong. If we think happy. The Serbs just want to be happy. They see the there is any difference between that and the way that others as enemies and they think the only way to be native people feel about white people or white people happy is to eradicate the source of their misery. We feel about black people or any of these situations on all think this way. And then if you talked to the other earth, we’re wrong. We have to start with ourselves. If side, they would say that they want the same thing. all people on the planet would start with themselves,

69 Drive All Blames into One 71 72 Drive All Blames into One we might see quite a shift in the aggressive energy You can take this slogan beyond what we think of that’s causing such a widespread holocaust. as “blame” and practice applying it simply to the gen- “Drive all blames into one”—or “Take the blame eral sense that something is wrong. When you feel yourself,” if you prefer—sounds like a masochistic that something is wrong, let the story line go and slogan. It sounds like, “Just beat me up, just bury me touch in on what’s underneath. You may notice that under piles of manure, just let me have it and kick me when you let the words go, when you stop talking to in the teeth.” However, that isn’t what it really means, yourself, there’s something left, and that something you’ll be happy to know. tends to be very soft. At first it may seem intense and One way of beginning to practice “Drive all blames vivid, but if you don’t recoil from that and you keep into one” is to begin to notice what it feels like when opening your heart, you find that underneath all of you blame someone else. What’s actually under all the fear is what has been called shaky tenderness. that talking and conversation about how wrong The truth of the matter is that even though there somebody or something is? What does blame feel are teachings and practice techniques, still we each Page 105 like in your stomach? When we do this noticing we have to find our own way. What does it really mean to see that we are somehow beginning to cultivate brav- open? What does it mean not to resist? What does it ery as well as compassion and honesty. When these mean? It’s a lifetime journey to find the answers to really unresolved issues of our lives come up, we are these questions for yourself. But there’s a lot of sup- no longer trying to escape but are beginning to be cu- port in these teachings and this practice. rious and open toward these parts of ourselves. Try dropping the object of the blame or the object “Drive all blames into one” is a healthy and com- of what you think is wrong. Instead of throwing the passionate instruction that short-circuits the over- snowballs out there, just put the snowball down and whelming tendency we have to blame everybody relate in a nonconceptual way to your anger, relate to else; it doesn’t mean, instead of blaming the other your righteous indignation, relate to your sense of people, blame yourself. It means to touch in with being fed up or pissed off or whatever it is. If Mor- what blame feels like altogether. Instead of guarding timer or Juan or Juanita walks by, instead of talking to yourself, instead of pushing things away, begin to get yourself for the next four days about them, you would in touch with the fact that there’s a very soft spot stop talking to yourself. Simply follow the instruction under all that armor, and blame is probably one of the that you’re given, notice that you are talking to your- most well-perfected armors that we have. self, and let it go. This is basic shamatha-vipashyana Drive All Blames into One 73 74 Drive All Blames into One instruction—that’s what it means by dropping the necessary to stop talking to yourself about how wrong object. Then you can do tonglen. everything is—or how right everything is, for that If you aren’t feeding the fire of anger or the fire of matter. craving by talking to yourself, then the fire doesn’t I challenge you to experiment with dropping the have anything to feed on. It peaks and passes on. It’s object of your emotion, doing tonglen, and seeing if said that everything has a beginning, middle, and in fact the intensity of the so-called poison lessens. I end, but when we start blaming and talking to our- have experimented with this, because I didn’t believe selves, things seem to have a beginning, a middle, that it would work. I thought it couldn’t possibly be and no end. true, and because my doubt was so strong, for a while Strangely enough, we blame others and put so it seemed to me that it didn’t work. But as my trust much energy into the object of anger or whatever it is grew, I found that that’s what happens—the intensity because we’re afraid that this anger or sorrow or lone- of the klesha lessens, and so does the duration. This liness is going to last forever. Therefore, instead of re- happens because the ego begins to be ventilated. Page 106 lating directly with the sorrow or the loneliness or the This big solid me—”I have a problem. I am lonely. I anger, we think that the way to end it is to blame it on am angry. I am addicted”—begins somehow to be somebody else. We might just talk to ourselves about aerated when you just go against the grain and own them, or we might actually hit them or fire them or the feelings yourself instead of blaming the other. yell. Whether we’re using our body, speech, mind— The “one” in “Drive all blames into one” is the ten- or all three—whatever we might do, we think, curi- dency we have to want to protect ourselves: ego ously enough, that this will make the pain go away. clinging. When we drive all blames into this ten- Instead, acting it out is what makes it last. dency by owning our feelings and feeling fully, the “Drive all blames into one” is saying, instead of al- ongoing monolithic ME begins to lighten up, be- ways blaming the other, own the feeling of blame, cause it is fabricated with our opinions, our moods, own the anger, own the loneliness, and make friends and a lot of ephemeral, but at the same time vivid and with it. Use the tonglen practice to see how you can convincing, stuff. place the anger or the fear or the loneliness in a cra- I know a fifteen-year-old Hispanic guy from Los dle of loving-kindness; use tonglen to learn how to be Angeles. He grew up in a violent neighborhood and gentle to all that stuff. In order to be gentle and cre- was in gangs from the age of thirteen. He was really ate an atmosphere of compassion for yourself, it’s smart, and curiously enough, his name was Juan. He Drive All Blames into One 75 76 Drive All Blames into One came on really mean. He was tough and he snarled anthem. This was an awful experience for the rest and he walked around with a big chip on his shoul- of us because for some reason he loved to sing the der. You had the feeling that that was all he had going Shambhala anthem in a high-pitched, squeaky, and for him: his world was so rough that acting like the cracked voice. baddest and the meanest was the only way he saw to This particular event was outside. As Rinpoche survive in it. sang into a microphone and the sound traveled for He was one of those people who definitely drive all miles across the plains, Juan broke down and started blames into others. If you asked him a simple ques- to cry. Everyone else was feeling awkward or embar- tion, he would tell you to fuck off. If he could get any- rassed, but Juan just started to cry. Later he said he body in trouble, he definitely would do so. From one cried because he had never seen anyone that brave. point of view, he was a total pain in the neck, but on He said, “That guy, he’s not afraid to be a fool.” That the other hand, he had a flair and brilliance about turned out to be a major turning point in his life be- him. It was always mixed; you hated him and you cause he realized that he didn’t have to be afraid to be Page 107 loved him. He was outrageous and also sparky and a fool either. All that persona and chip on the shoul- funny, but he was mean—he would slap people and der were guarding his soft spot, and he could let them push them around. You knew that that was pretty go. Because he was so sharp and bright, he got the lightweight compared with what he was used to message. His life turned around. Now he’s got his ed- doing at home, where they killed each other on a reg- ucation and he’s back in L.A. helping kids. ular basis. So that’s the point, that we tend to drive all blames He was sent to Boulder, Colorado, for the summer into Juan because Juan is so obnoxious. We aren’t en- to give him a break, to give him a nice summer in the couraged to get in touch with what’s underneath all Rocky Mountains. His mother and others were trying our words of hatred, craving, and jealousy. We just act to help him get a good education and somehow step them out again and again. But if we practice this slo- out of the nightmare world into which he had been gan and drive all blames into one, the armor of our born. The people he was staying with were loosely af- ego clinging will weaken and the soft spot in our filiated with the Buddhist community, and that’s how hearts will appear. We may feel foolish, but we don’t I came to know him. One day he came to an event have to be afraid of that. We can make friends with where Trungpa Rinpoche was, and at the end of this ourselves. event, Trungpa Rinpoche sang the Shambhala 
# # # .)2+.(BB /:(25)2B )5,B5B 6B

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%8 # 8 Training the Mind Page 110 Page 111 Start Where You Are 12 Empty Boat

had an interview with someone who said she I couldn’t meditate; it was impossible because she had real-life problems. In the meditation we’re doing we’re trying to bring home the very supportive mes- sage that real-life problems are the material for wak- ing up, not the reason to stop trying. This is news you can use. Page 112 Today’s slogan is “Whatever you meet unexpect- edly, join with meditation.” This is a very interesting suggestion. These slogans are pointing out that we can awaken bodhichitta through everything, that nothing is an interruption. This slogan points out how interruptions themselves awaken us, how inter- ruptions themselves—surprises, unexpected events, bolts out of the blue—can awaken us to the experi- ence of both absolute and relative bodhichitta, to the open, spacious quality of our minds and the warmth of our hearts. This is the slogan about surprises as gifts. These surprises can be pleasant or unpleasant; the main point is that they can stop our minds. You’re walking along and a snowball hits you on the side of the head. It stops your mind.

109 110 Empty Boat Empty Boat 111 The slogan “Rest in the nature of alaya, the throughout every day of our lives! This gift is given essence” goes along with this. Usually it is consid- to us by the unexpected circumstances referred to ered a slogan for when you’re sitting on the cushion in this slogan. meditating; you can then rest your mind in its natu- After the gap, when you’ve begun to talk to your- ral, unbiased state. But the truth is that when the rug self again—”That horrible person” or “Wasn’t that is pulled out the same thing happens: without any ef- wonderful that he allowed me to rest my mind in the fort on our part, our mind finds itself resting in the nature of alaya?”—you could catch yourself and start nature of alaya. to do tonglen practice. If you’re veering off toward I was being driven in a car one day, when a horn anger, resentment, any of the more unwanted “nega- honked loudly from behind. A car comes up by my tive” feelings, getting really uptight and so forth, you window and the driver’s face is purple and he’s shak- could remember tonglen and the lojong logic and ing his fist at me—my window is rolled down and so breathe in and get in touch with your feeling. Let the is his—and he yells, “Get a job!” That one still stops story line go and get in touch. If you start talking to Page 113 my mind. yourself about what a wonderful thing just hap- The instruction is that when something stops your pened, you could remember and send that out and mind, catch that moment of gap, that moment of big share that sense of delight. space, that moment of bewilderment, that moment Usually we’re so caught up in ourselves, we’re of total astonishment, and let yourself rest in it a lit- hanging on to ourselves so tightly, that it takes a tle longer than you ordinarily might. Mack truck knocking us down to wake us up and Interestingly enough, this is also the instruction stop our minds. But really, as you begin to practice, it on how to die. The moment of death is apparently could just take the wind blowing the curtain. The a major surprise. Perhaps you’ve heard this word surprise can be something very gentle, just a shift of samadhi (meditative absorption), that we remain in attention. Something just catches your eye and your samadhi at the moment we die. What that means is attention shifts, and you can rest your mind in the that we can rest our minds in the nature of alaya. nature of alaya. When you start talking to yourself We can stay open and connect with the fresh, unbi- again, you can practice tonglen. ased quality of our minds, which is given to us at the The surprise comes in pleasant and unpleasant moment of our death. But it’s also given to us forms—it doesn’t really matter how. The point is 112 Empty Boat Empty Boat 113 that it comes out of the blue. You’re walking down up. Who did she think was going to wash these the street, caught in tunnel vision—talking to your- dishes, her mother? Did she think we were all her self—and not noticing anything, and even the croak slaves? I was really getting into this. I was thinking, of a raven can wake you up out of your daydream, “I’ve known her for a long time, and everyone thinks which is often very thick, very resentful. Something she’s a senior practitioner, but actually she might as just pops it; a car backfires, and for a moment you well have never meditated for the way she’s so in- look up and see the sky and people’s faces and traf- considerate of everybody else on this planet.” fic going by and the trees. Whatever is happening When I got to the sink, I looked at the plate, and there, suddenly you see this big world outside of the name on it was “Pema,” and the name on the cup your tunnel vision. was “Pema,” and the name on the fork was “Pema,” I had an interesting experience of something sur- and the name on the knife was “Pema.” It was all prising me like this on retreat. It was a very strong ex- mine! Needless to say, that cut my trip considerably. perience of shunyata, the complete emptiness of It also stopped my mind. Page 114 things. I had just finished my evening practice. I had There’s a Zen story in which a man is enjoying him- been practicing all day, after which you might think I self on a river at dusk. He sees another boat coming would be in a calm, saintly state of mind. But as I down the river toward him. At first it seems so nice to came out of my room and started to walk down the him that someone else is also enjoying the river on a hall, I saw that in our serving area someone had left nice summer evening. Then he realizes that the boat dirty dishes. I started to get really angry. is coming right toward him, faster and faster. He be- Now, in this retreat we put our name on our gins to get upset and starts to yell, “Hey, hey, watch dishes. Everyone has a plate and a bowl and a mug out! For Pete’s sake, turn aside!” But the boat just and a knife and a fork and a spoon, and they all have comes faster and faster, right toward him. By this our name on them. So I was walking down and I time he’s standing up in his boat, screaming and was trying to see whose name was on those dishes. I shaking his fist, and then the boat smashes right into was already pretty sure whose name was on them, him. He sees that it’s an empty boat. because there was only one woman of our group of This is the classic story of our whole life situation. eight who would leave such a mess. She was always There are a lot of empty boats out there that we’re al- just leaving things around for other people to clean ways screaming at and shaking our fists at. Instead, Training the Mind

114 Empty Boat we could let them stop our minds. Even if they only stop our mind for one point one seconds, we can rest in that little gap. When the story line starts, we can do the tonglen practice of exchanging ourselves for others. In this way everything we meet has the po- tential to help us cultivate compassion and recon- nect with the spacious, open quality of our minds. Page 115 Page 116 Page 117 Page 118 Page 119 7/!! ; !; (+11)!;

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)"8 Start Where You Are 116 Teachings for Life and Death have to do. These slogans tell us to practice the five 13 strengths: strong determination, familiarization, seed of virtue, reproach, and aspiration. The five strengths Teachings for Life and Death are five sources of inspiration to trust that we’ve got all that we need in the palm of our hand. These are the heart instructions on how to live and he five strengths are the subject of two of how to die. Last year I spent some time with two peo- T the slogans: “Practice the five strengths, / The ple who were dying. Jack and Jill were both old condensed heart instructions” and “The mahayana friends; they each had a very different relationship instruction for ejection of consciousness at death / Is with their death. They each had the privilege of the five strengths: how you conduct yourself is im- knowing quite a few months in advance that they portant.” were going to die, which is a great gift. Both of them The underlying point of all our study and practice began to fade away. When things began to slip away Page 127 is that the happiness we seek is here to connect with on Jack, when his body stopped working well for him, at any time. The happiness we seek is our birthright. he was angry at the beginning, but then something To discover it we need to be more gentle with our- started to shift, and he began to relax. When it was selves, more compassionate toward ourselves and clear that everything was dissolving and slipping our universe. The happiness we seek cannot be away, he seemed to get happier and happier. It felt as found through grasping, trying to hold on to things. It if he were letting go of all the things that had kept cannot be found through getting serious and uptight him separate from his basic goodness, letting every- about wanting things to go in the direction that we thing go. He would say things like, “There’s nothing think will bring happiness. We are always taking hold to do, there’s nothing to want,” and he would start to of the wrong end of the stick. The point is that the laugh. Day by day he wasted away more, but that was happiness we seek is already here and it will be found not a fundamental problem; this dissolving was very through relaxation and letting go rather than through liberating for him. struggle. The external situation was the same for Jill, but Does that mean you can just sleep all day? Does she got scared, and she began to struggle against the that mean there’s nothing you need to do? The an- whole process. As her body started to waste away and swer is no. There does seem to be something that we

115 Teachings for Life and Death 117 118 Teachings for Life and Death there was less to hold on to, she became more grim Strong determination. The first strength is strong and terrified, clenching her teeth and her hands. She determination. Rather than some kind of dogged was facing a vast abyss and was going to be pushed pushing through, strong determination involves con- over into it, and she was screaming with terror, “No! necting with joy, relaxing, and trusting. It’s determi- No! No!” nation to use every challenge you meet as an I understood why I practice: we can discover the opportunity to open your heart and soften, determi- process of letting go and relaxing during our lifetime. nation not to withdraw. One simple way to develop In fact, that’s the way to live: stop struggling against this strength is to develop a strong-hearted spiritual the fact that things are slipping through our fingers. appetite. To do this, some kind of playful quality is Stop struggling against the fact that nothing’s solid to needed. When you wake up in the morning, you can begin with and things don’t last. Knowing that can say: “I wonder what’s going to happen today. This may give us a lot of space and a lot of room if we can relax be the day that I die. This may be the day that I un- with it instead of screaming and struggling against it. derstand what all these teachings are about.” The Page 128 The five strengths are instruction on how to live Native Americans, before they went into battle, and how to die. Actually, there’s no difference. The would say, “Today is a good day to die.” You could also same good advice applies to both, because if you say, “Today is a good day to live.” know how to die then you know how to live and if you Strong determination gives you the vehicle that know how to live then you’ll know how to die. Suzuki you need to find out for yourself that you have every- Roshi said, “Just be willing to die over and over thing it takes, that the fundamental happiness is again.” As each breath goes out, let it be the end of right here, waiting. Strong determination not to shut that moment and the birth of something new. All anything out of your heart and not to close up takes a those thoughts, as they come up, just see them and sense of humor and an appetite, an appetite for en- let them go, let the whole story line die; let the space lightenment. for something new arise. The five strengths address how to give up trying all the time to grasp what’s un- Familiarization. The next strength is familiarization. graspable and actually relax into the space that’s What familiarization means is that the dharma no there. Then what do we find? Maybe that’s the point. longer feels like a foreign entity: your first thought We’re afraid to find out. becomes dharmic. You begin to realize that all the teachings are about yourself; you’re here to study Teachings for Life and Death 119 120 Teachings for Life and Death yourself. Dharma isn’t philosophy. Dharma is basi- of water. Buddha nature isn’t like a heart transplant cally a good recipe for how to cook yourself, how to that you get from elsewhere. “It isn’t as if you’re try- soften the hardest, toughest piece of meat. Dharma ing to teach a tree to talk,” as Rinpoche once said. It’s is good instruction on how to stop cheating yourself, just something that can be awakened or, you might how to stop robbing yourself, how to find out who you say, relaxed into. Let yourself fall apart into wakeful- really are, not in the limited sense of “I need” and ness. The strength comes from the fact that the seed “I’m gonna get,” but through developing wakefulness is already there; with warmth and moisture it sprouts as your habit, your way of perceiving everything. and becomes visible above the ground. You find your- We talk about enlightenment as if it’s a big accom- self looking like a daffodil, or feeling like one, anyway. plishment. Basically, it has to do with relaxing and The practice is about softening or relaxing, but it’s finding out what you already have. The enlightened also about precision and seeing clearly. None of that “you” might be a slightly different “you” from the one implies searching. Searching for happiness prevents you’re familiar with, but it still has hair growing out of us from ever finding it. Page 129 its head, still has taste buds, and when it gets the flu, snot comes out of its nose. Enlightened, however, Reproach. The fourth strength is called reproach. you might experience yourself in a slightly less claus- This one requires talking to yourself: “Ego, you’ve trophobic way, maybe a completely nonclaustropho- done nothing but cause me problems for ages. Give bic way. me a break. I’m not buying it anymore.” Try it in the Familiarization means that you don’t have to shower. You should talk to yourself all the time with- search any further, and you know it. It’s all in the out embarrassment. When you see yourself starting “pleasantness of the presentness,” in the very dis- to spin off in frivolity, say to yourself, “Begone, you cursive thoughts you’re having now, in all the emo- troublemaker!” tions that are coursing through you; it’s all in there This approach can be slightly problematic because somehow. we don’t usually distinguish between who we think we are and our ego. The more gentleness that comes Seed of virtue. The third strength is called the seed of up, the more friendliness you feel for yourself, the virtue. In effect, this is buddha nature or basic good- more this dialogue is fruitful. But to the degree that ness. It’s like a swimming pool with no sides that you actually are hard on yourself, then this dialogue you’re swimming in forever. In fact, you’re made out could just increase your self-criticism. Teachings for Life and Death 121 122 Teachings for Life and Death Over the years, with encouragement from wonder- you’re sowing seeds of wakefulness, seeds of being ful teachers, I have found that, rather than blaming able to see the nature of mind, and seeds of being yourself or yelling at yourself, you can teach the able to rest in unconditional space. It doesn’t matter dharma to yourself. Reproach doesn’t have to be a that you can’t do it every time. Just the willingness, negative reaction to your personal brand of insanity. the strong determination to do it, is sowing the seeds But it does imply that you see insanity as insanity, of virtue. You find that you can do it more sponta- neurosis as neurosis, spinning off as spinning off. At neously and naturally, without its being an effort. It that point, you can teach the dharma to yourself. begins with some sense of exertion and becomes your This advice was given to me by Thrangu Rinpoche. normal state. That’s the seed of bodhichitta ripening. I was having anxiety attacks, and he said that I should You find out who you really are. teach the dharma to myself, just good simple dharma. So now I say, “Pema, what do you really Aspiration. The last strength, aspiration, is also a want? Do you want to shut down and close off, do powerful tool. A heartfelt sense of aspiring cuts Page 130 you want to stay imprisoned? Or do you want to let through negativity about yourself; it cuts through the yourself relax here, let yourself die? Here’s your heavy trips you lay on yourself. The notion of aspira- chance to actually realize something. Here’s your tion is simply that you voice your wishes for enlight- chance not to be stuck. So what do you really want? enment. You say to yourself, for yourself, about Do you want always to be right or do you want to yourself, and by yourself things like, “May my com- wake up?” passion for myself increase.” You might be feeling Reproach can be very powerful. You yourself teach completely hopeless, down on yourself, and you can yourself the dharma in your own words. You can voice your heartfelt aspiration: “May my sense of teach yourself the four noble truths, you can teach being obstructed decrease. May my experience of yourself about taking refuge—anything that has to do wakefulness increase. May I experience my funda- with that moment when you’re just about to re-create mental wisdom. May I think of others before myself.” samsara as if you personally had invented it. Look Aspiration is much like prayer, except that there’s no- ahead to the rest of your life and ask yourself what body who hears you. you want it to add up to. Aspiration, yet again, is to talk to yourself, to be an Each time you’re willing to see your thoughts as eccentric bodhisattva. It is a way to empower your- empty, let them go, and come back to your breath, self. In fact, all five of these strengths are ways to em- Training in Compassion Teachings for Life and Death 123 power yourself. Buddhism itself is all about empow- ering yourself, not about getting what you want. The five strengths are the heart instructions on how to live and how to die. Whether it’s right now or  at the moment of your death, they tell you how to wake up to whatever is going on.
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7U Page 133 Page 134 Start Where You Are Loving-Kindness and Compassion 125 chitta, which we instinctively protect so that nothing 14 will touch it. This is a life-affirming view; it starts from the point Loving-Kindness and of basic goodness or basic good heart. The problem is that we continually grab the wrong end of the stick. Compassion All practice agrees that there’s some fundamental pattern that we have in which we’re always trying to avoid the unpleasantness and grasp the pleasantness. ll dharma agrees at one point. All the teach- There seems to be a need to change the fundamental A ings and all the practices are about just one pattern of always protecting against anything touch- thing: if the way that we protect ourselves is strong, ing our soft spot. Tonglen practice is about changing then suffering is really strong too. If the ego or the the basic pattern. cocoon starts getting lighter, then suffering is lighter Earlier, I referred to ego as being a room where you Page 135 as well. Ego is like a really fat person trying to get just tried to get everything on your own terms. To get through a very narrow door. If there’s lots of ego, then out of that room, you don’t drive up in a big machine we’re always getting squeezed and poked and irri- and smash the whole thing to pieces. Rather, at your tated by everything that comes along. When some- own speed, starting where you are, you begin to open thing comes along that doesn’t squeeze and poke and the door and the windows. It’s a very gentle approach, irritate us, we grasp it for dear life and want it to last one that acknowledges that you can gradually begin forever. Then we suffer more as a result of holding on to open that door. You can also shut it as often as you to ourselves. need to—not with the desire to stay comfortable but One might think that we’re talking about ego as with the intention ultimately to gather more courage, enemy, about ego as original sin. But this is a very dif- more sense of humor, more basic curiosity about how ferent approach, a much softer approach. Rather to open that door, until you just leave it open and in- than original sin, there’s original soft spot. The messy vite all sentient beings as your guests, until you feel at stuff that we see in ourselves and that we perceive in home with no agenda and with groundlessness. the world as violence and cruelty and fear is not the result of some basic badness but of the fact that we The main thing about this practice and about all have such a tender, vulnerable, warm heart of bodhi- practice—all dharmas agree at one point—is that

124 126 Loving-Kindness and Compassion Loving-Kindness and Compassion 127 you’re the only one who knows what is opening and in and out all over the place but your motivation what is closing down; you’re the only one who knows. isn’t to befriend and begin to penetrate those areas The next slogan, “Of the two witnesses, hold the of yourself that you fear or reject. In fact, you hope principal one,” is saying that one witness is everybody the practice will just bolster your sense of confi- else giving you their feedback and opinions (which is dence, bolster your sense of being in the right place worth listening to; there’s some truth in what people at the right time, having chosen the right religion, say), but the principal witness is yourself. You’re the and “I’m on the side of the good and all’s right with only one who knows when you’re opening and when the world.” That doesn’t help much. Maybe you’ve you’re closing. You’re the only one who knows when noticed that sometimes you feel like you’re in a bat- you’re using things to protect yourself and keep your tle with reality and reality is always winning. ego together and when you’re opening and letting All of the teachings, and particularly the lojong things fall apart, letting the world come as it is— teachings, are encouraging us, if we find ourselves working with it rather than struggling against it. struggling, to let that be a moment where we pause Page 136 You’re the only one who knows. and wonder and begin to breathe in, trying to feel There’s a later slogan that says, “Don’t make gods what’s underneath the struggle. If we find ourselves into demons.” What it means is that you can take complaining, it isn’t that we have to say, “Oh, I’m bad something good—tonglen practice and the lojong because I’m struggling.” It’s not that it’s a sin to com- teachings, for example (that’s the idea of “gods”)— plain. We’re simply saying that the way to change the and turn it into a demon. You can just use anything to pattern is to begin to breathe in and connect with the close your windows and doors. heart, the soft spot that’s under all that protecting. You could do tonglen as one of my students once Karma is a difficult subject, but one of the reasons described to me. He said, “I do it, but I am very you are encouraged to work with what happens to careful about the control button; I breathe in just you rather than blame it on others is that what hap- enough so that it doesn’t really hurt or penetrate, pens is somehow a karmic result of things that you and I breathe out just enough to convince myself, have done before. This kind of teaching on karma can you know, that I’m doing the practice. But basically, easily be misunderstood. People get into a heavy- nothing ever changes.” He was using tonglen just to duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going smooth everything out and feel good. You can also wrong, that means they did something bad and use tonglen to feel like a hero: you’re just breathing they’re being punished. That’s not the idea at all. The 128 Loving-Kindness and Compassion Loving-Kindness and Compassion 129 idea of karma is that you continually get the teach- ingness to feel the fear, to make fear your companion, ings that you need in order to open your heart. To the is growing. You’re willing to get to know yourself at degree that you didn’t understand in the past how to this deep level. After awhile this same feeling begins stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring to turn into a longing to raze all the walls, a longing to your heart, you’re given this gift of teachings in the be fully human and to live in your world without al- form of your life, to give you everything you need to ways having to shut down and close off when certain learn how to open further. things come along. It begins to turn into a longing to I saw a cartoon that describes this. A head of ice- be there for your friends when they’re in trouble, to berg lettuce is sitting in a garden saying, “Oh, no, be of real help to this poor, aching planet. Curiously how did I get in this vegetable garden again? I wanted enough, along with this longing and this sadness and to be a wildflower!” The caption reads, “Oscar is born this tenderness, there’s an immense sense of well- again as a head of iceberg lettuce in order to over- being, unconditional well-being, which doesn’t have come his fear of being eaten.” One can think from a anything to do with pleasant or unpleasant, good or Page 137 bigger perspective than this whole notion of reward bad, hope or fear, disgrace or fame. It’s something and punishment. You could see your life as an adult that simply comes to you when you feel that you can education course. Some of the curriculum you like keep your heart open. and some you don’t like; some of what comes up you find workable, some you don’t. That’s the curriculum for attaining enlightenment. The question is, how do you work with it? When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bot- tomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to dis- cover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. Your world seems less solid, more roomy and spacious. The burden lightens. In the beginning it might feel like sadness or a shaky feeling, accompanied by a lot of fear, but your will- Page 138

Training the Mind Page 139 The Practice of Lojong 7"gtcQ=zn?7zt++7ggz h

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28 18 Lighten Up 131 minder. Instead of habitually clinging to what’s de- 15 lightful, you could become accustomed to giving it away, sending it out to others on the outbreath. This Lighten Up enables you always to maintain a joyful mind. It be- gins to ease away the burden of maintaining your own private happiness as well as your usual load of un- he next two slogans—”Always maintain happy situations and minor irritations—the burden T only a joyful mind” and “If you can practice even of ego. when distracted, you are well trained”—go hand in On the other hand, sending out the joyful stuff is hand. The first is saying that if you regard everything also difficult to do. As someone said, “I like doing the that arises as fuel to wake up, you can remain cheer- outbreath with this idea of sharing. Sharing is really ful. The second is saying that you are well trained if nice, but giving it away? That means I wouldn’t have you can do that—use everything in your life to wake it anymore.” The outbreath and sharing what’s pleas- Page 146 yourself up rather than put yourself to sleep—no ant can be threatening. You don’t often feel willing to matter what. share or give away that pleasure. If you feel completely caught up and are spinning There’s a lot of joy as your burden begins to lessen, off into a misery scenario, the slogan “If you can prac- and it comes from doing anything that begins to tice even when distracted, you are well trained” can change the pattern of fearing and wanting to resist remind you to start to work with tonglen—to breathe what’s unpleasant. Resistance is really what causes in the mishap or the misery as a way of developing the pain; more than the anger itself, or the jealousy it- compassion for yourself and as a way of beginning to self, it’s resistance that causes the pain. Anything understand other people’s pain as well. You can use that begins to lighten up that resistance helps us to the distraction to bring yourself back to the present relax and open and celebrate. moment, just as a horse rights itself after losing bal- Sooner or later you will find yourself in a situation ance or skiers catch themselves just as they are about where you can’t change the outer circumstances at to fall. Being well trained means you can catch your- all, and you realize it all comes down to how you re- self and come back to the present. late to things—whether you continue to struggle When things are going well, that can also be a re- against everything that’s coming at you or you begin

130 132 Lighten Up Lighten Up 133 to work with things. “Always maintain only a joyful or if you remember, you say, “You’re not gentle! mind” can be very helpful to remember in such a sit- Whack!” uation. You hear a slogan like “Always maintain only a joy- Anything that helps us not to be so desperate ful mind,” and for the whole next two weeks you’re about pleasure and not to fear its transitory nature just hitting yourself over the head for never being joy- is also introducing us to being at home in our world ful. That kind of witness is a bit heavy. So lighten up. and being able to help other people. In popular songs Don’t make such a big deal. The key to feeling at you hear lines like “Freedom’s just another word for home with your body, mind, and emotions, to feeling nothing left to lose” or “I’ve got plenty of nothing worthy to live on this planet, comes from being able and nothing’s plenty for me.” “Great bliss arising from to lighten up. This earnestness, this seriousness the experience of emptiness” is how it’s described in about everything in our lives—including practice— traditional Tibetan texts, which sounds somewhat this goal-oriented, we’re-going-to-do-it-or-else atti- remote from personal experience. However, all these tude, is the world’s greatest killjoy. There’s no sense Page 147 words are saying the same thing: we practice and of appreciation because we’re so solemn about every- we live in order to be able to relax and lighten up and thing. In contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and not make such a big deal about everything that hap- relaxed. pens—the successes and the failures, the rewards Once on retreat I was reading some traditional text and the punishments. that talked about bliss and special experiences, and I If your principal witness (in “Of the two witnesses, began to feel wretched. I felt poverty-stricken about hold the principal one”) is a judgmental authority fig- never having had any experiences that felt like bliss, ure, it might be hard to lighten up. Let’s say you’re clarity, or luminosity. I began to feel depressed that I meditating, but there’s this other “you” standing be- didn’t measure up to any of these glowing words. For- hind with a stick, saying, “You’re thinking again, tunately, I put that book down and picked up some- you’re always thinking! Whack! There goes the ton- thing simple about just being alive with who you are glen bell and you didn’t practice tonglen for even a right now—nothing special, no big deal, ordinary: second! Smack!” You say to yourself, “I can’t do this. just keep your eyes open, keep your ears open, stay I’m hopeless. Everybody else seems to be doing fine, awake. Those simple instructions began to cheer me but I don’t seem to have any basic goodness.” Then up, because I felt that I could follow them. you beat yourself up and forget all about gentleness, When your aspiration is to lighten up, you begin to 134 Lighten Up Lighten Up 135 have a sense of humor. Things just keep popping your she had this time to enjoy her life, which she had not serious state of mind. In addition to a sense of humor, enjoyed up to the moment that she got sick. Finally, a basic support for a joyful mind is curiosity, paying the day before she died, she went into a coma. Every- attention, taking an interest in the world around you. body in her family, who were coming to feel more and You don’t actually have to be happy. But being curi- more fond of her after all those years of finding her to ous without a heavy judgmental attitude helps. If you be a pain in the neck, gathered around her bed crying are judgmental, you can even be curious about that. and looking gloomy, just as she used to look. Just be- Notice everything. Appreciate everything, includ- fore she died, she opened her eyes to see them all ing the ordinary. That’s how to click in with joyfulness standing there, and she said, “Gosh, you all look so or cheerfulness. Curiosity encourages cheering up. unhappy. Is something wrong?” She died laughing. So does simply remembering to do something differ- So, “Always maintain only a joyful mind” and “If ent. We are so locked into this sense of burden—Big you can practice even when distracted, you are well Deal Joy and Big Deal Unhappiness—that it’s some- trained” are implying that the best gift you can give Page 148 times helpful just to change the pattern. Anything yourself is to lighten up. One way to do that is to let out of the ordinary will help, and tonglen is definitely distraction bring you back to the present moment. something different. This practice is about repattern- Another way is to be curious. In addition, when ing ourselves, changing the basic pattern and unpat- things are really heavy and you feel stuck in either terning ourselves together. You can also just go to the your joy or your misery, just do something different to window and look at the sky. You can splash cold water change the pattern. Tonglen is a good suggestion of on your face, you can sing in the shower, you can go what you could do. jogging—anything that’s against your usual pattern. That’s how things start to lighten up. I just read a story about a woman who had been gloomy all her life. As she grew older, she got more ir- ritable and difficult. Then she got cancer and for some peculiar reason—after an initial period of re- sistance and anger—instead of getting more gloomy, she began to cheer up. The more she fell apart, the happier she got. She kept saying she was glad that Training the Mind Page 149 &&Ö 71#.? =$I The Practice of Lojong 1 D„1 od #H-1#ˆ %d^^Qy1aoda%1†1 1

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 8 Abandon Any Hope of Fruition 137 138 Abandon Any Hope of Fruition to be later. We don’t quite give ourselves full credit tle sense of disappointment, a sense of things not for who we are in the present. completely measuring up. For example, it’s easy to hope that things will im- In one of the first teachings I ever heard, the prove as a result of meditation, that we won’t have teacher said, “I don’t know why you came here, but I such bad tempers anymore or we won’t have fear any- want to tell you right now that the basis of this whole more or people will like us more than they do now. Or teaching is that you’re never going to get everything maybe none of those things are problems for us, but together.” I felt a little like he had just slapped me in we feel we aren’t spiritual enough. Surely we will the face or thrown cold water over my head. But I’ve connect with that awake, brilliant, sacred world that always remembered it. He said, “You’re never going to we are going to find through meditation. In every- get it all together.” There isn’t going to be some pre- thing we read—whether it’s philosophy or dharma cious future time when all the loose ends will be tied books or psychology—there’s the implication that up. Even though it was shocking to me, it rang true. we’re caught in some kind of very small perspective One of the things that keeps us unhappy is this con- Page 162 and that if we just did the right things, we’d begin to tinual searching for pleasure or security, searching connect with a bigger world, a vaster world, different for a little more comfortable situation, either at the from the one we’re in now. domestic level or at the spiritual level or at the level One reason I wanted to talk about giving up all of mental peace. hope of fruition is because I’ve been meditating and Nowadays, people go to a lot of different places giving dharma talks for some time now, but I find that trying to find what they’re looking for. There are 12- I still have a secret passion for what it’s going to be step programs; someone told me that there is now a like when—as they say in some of the classical 24-step program; someday there will probably be a texts—”all the veils have been removed.” It’s that 108-step program. There are a lot of support groups same feeling of wanting to jump over yourself and and different therapies. Many people feel wounded find something that’s more awake than the present and are looking for something to heal them. To me it situation, more alert than the present situation. seems that at the root of healing, at the root of feeling Sometimes this occurs at a very mundane level: you like a fully adult person, is the premise that you’re not want to be thinner, have less acne or more hair. But going to try to make anything go away, that what you somehow there’s almost always a subtle or not so sub- have is worth appreciating. But this is hard to swal- low if what you have is pain. Abandon Any Hope of Fruition 139 140 Abandon Any Hope of Fruition In Boston there’s a stress-reduction clinic run on more than two thousand years ago and was smarter Buddhist principles. It was started by Dr. Jon Kabat- than you’ll ever be. Buddha is our inherent nature— Zinn, a Buddhist practitioner and author of Full Cat- our buddha nature—and what that means is that if astrophe Living. He says that the basic premise of his you’re going to grow up fully, the way that it happens clinic—to which many people come with a lot of is that you begin to connect with the intelligence that pain—is to give up any hope of fruition. Otherwise you already have. It’s not like some intelligence that’s the treatment won’t work. If there’s some sense of going to be transplanted into you. If you’re going to be wanting to change yourself, then it comes from a fully mature, you will no longer be imprisoned in the place of feeling that you’re not good enough. It comes childhood feeling that you always need to protect from aggression toward yourself, dislike of your pres- yourself or shield yourself because things are too ent mind, speech, or body; there’s something about harsh. If you’re going to be a grown-up—which I yourself that you feel is not good enough. People would define as being completely at home in your come to the clinic with addictions, abuse issues, or world no matter how difficult the situation—it’s be- Page 163 stress from work—with all kinds of issues. Yet this cause you will allow something that’s already in you simple ingredient of giving up hope is the most im- to be nurtured. You allow it to grow, you allow it to portant ingredient for developing sanity and healing. come out, instead of all the time shielding it and pro- That’s the main thing. As long as you’re wanting to tecting it and keeping it buried. be thinner, smarter, more enlightened, less uptight, Someone once told me, “When you feel afraid, or whatever it might be, somehow you’re always going that’s ‘fearful buddha.’” That could be applied to to be approaching your problem with the very same whatever you feel. Maybe anger is your thing. You logic that created it to begin with: you’re not good just go out of control and you see red, and the next enough. That’s why the habitual pattern never un- thing you know you’re yelling or throwing something winds itself when you’re trying to improve, because or hitting someone. At that time, begin to accept the you go about it in exactly the same habitual style that fact that that’s “enraged buddha.” If you feel jealous, caused all the pain to start. that’s “jealous buddha.” If you have indigestion, that’s There’s a life-affirming teaching in Buddhism, “buddha with heartburn.” If you’re happy, “happy which is that Buddha, which means “awake,” is not buddha”; if bored, “bored buddha.” In other words, someone you worship. Buddha is not someone you anything that you can experience or think is worthy aspire to; Buddha is not somebody who was born Abandon Any Hope of Fruition 141 142 Abandon Any Hope of Fruition of compassion; anything you could think or feel is there’s a dispute about what it’s going to be. The food worthy of appreciation. is sometimes good and sometimes terrible; it’s just a This teaching was powerful for me; it stuck. I very uncomfortable place. The reason it’s uncomfort- would find myself in various states of mind and vari- able is that you can’t get away from yourself there. ous moods, going up and down, going left and right, However, the more people make friends with them- falling on my face and sitting up—just in all these dif- selves, the more they find it a nurturing and support- ferent life situations—and I would remember, “Bud- ive place where you can find out the buddhaness of dha falling flat on her face; buddha feeling on top of your own self as you are right now, today. Right now the world; buddha longing for yesterday.” I began to today, could you make an unconditional relationship learn that I couldn’t get away from buddha no matter with yourself? Just at the height you are, the weight how hard I tried. I could stick with myself through you are, the amount of intelligence that you have, the thick and thin. If one would enter into an uncondi- burden of pain that you have? Could you enter into tional relationship with oneself, one would be enter- an unconditional relationship with that? Page 164 ing into an unconditional relationship with buddha. Giving up any hope of fruition has something in This is why the slogan says, “Abandon any hope of common with the title of my previous book, The Wis- fruition.” “Fruition” implies that at a future time you dom of No Escape. “No escape” leaves you continually will feel good. There is another word, which is right in the present, and the present is whatever it is, open—to have an open heart and open mind. This is whatever mood you happen to be in, whatever oriented very much to the present. If you enter into thoughts you happen to be having. That’s it. an unconditional relationship with yourself, that Whether you get meditation instruction from the means sticking with the buddha right now on the Theravada tradition or the Zen tradition or the Vajra- spot as you find yourself. yana tradition, the basic instruction is always about Because it’s a monastery, there’s nothing you can being awake in the present moment. What they don’t do at Gampo Abbey that’s fun, unless you like to tell you is that the present moment can be you, this meditate all the time or take walks in nature, but you about whom you sometimes don’t feel very good. everything gets boring after awhile. There’s no sex That’s what there is to wake up to. there, you can’t drink there, you also can’t lie. Occa- When one of the emperors of China asked Bod- sionally we’ll see a video, but that’s rare and usually hidharma (the Zen master who brought Zen from India to China) what enlightenment was, his answer Training in Compassion

Abandon Any Hope of Fruition 143 was, “Lots of space, nothing holy.” Meditation is nothing holy. Therefore there’s nothing that you think or feel that somehow gets put in the category of “sin.” There’s nothing that you can think or feel that  gets put in the category of “bad.” There’s nothing that you can think or feel that gets put in the category of “wrong.” It’s all good juicy stuff—the manure of wak- ing up, the manure of achieving enlightenment, the %+&#+  "+ art of living in the present moment. + +! )(+ !+ Page 165

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