THE PRIMARY SOURCE The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University

Veritas Sine Dolo September 27, 2001 THE PRIMARY SOURCE Meetings every Tuesday at 9:00pm in Room 219, Mayer Campus Center All welcome. For more information email [email protected] or call Sam at x7-7182

2 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 THE PRIMARY SOURCE Vol. XX • The Journal of Conservative Thought at Tufts University • No. 2

DEPARTMENTS From the Editor 4 The editor's prayers for those lost in the attacks on America. Commentary 6 Who cares what US News thinks of Tufts? Nobody reads that mag! From the Elephant's Mouth 8 A page full of the most unpatriotic Jumbos on the Hill. Notable and Quotable 24

ARTICLES

America's Second Day of Infamy 10 page 10 by Joshua Martino The meek leftist response to terrorism is rooting in cowardice. Night of the Living Wage 15 by Megan Liotta Tufts' hard-working janitors deserve better than SLAM. Osama: Disciplined and Punished 16 by Jason Walker There is no foresight, justice or creativity in killing Osama. The Twisted Arena of U.S. Foreign Policy 18 by Andrew Gibbs Terrorism? Not in my backyard. All Carrot, No Stick 19 by Tara Heumann America is the Land of Opportunity as long as you obey the rules. Calling the Kettle Black 21 page 11 by Stephen Tempesta The world wonders why the U.S. ignores a conference held by bigots. A Vote for Shame 22 by Adam Biacchi Right-thinking Jumbos have more people to blame than a handful of leftists. SPECIAL FEATURES Culture Reps We'd Like to See 11 The SOURCE reminds the senate of the disenfranchised minorities. In Memorium 12 We remember the victims of the attacks on our nation. Culture Reps: The Musical! 14 Sing, dance, and frolic with Chuck, Tufts' newest senator. So Long, I. Melvin Bernstein 23 Y'all don't come back now, ya hear? page 23

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 3 From the Editor THE P RIMARY S OURCE Standing Strong

he dust still hangs in the air. underlying prejudices have been TThe thundering roar of concrete exposed. But perhaps the most dis- as it cascaded from the sky still turbing underlying sentiment is rings in our ears. The terrorist at- the one that inclines people to THE J OURNAL OF C ONSERVATIVE tacks on the World Trade Centers sympathize with the terrorists by THOUGHT AT T UFTS U NIVERSITY and the Pentagon were an attack on incapacitating their ability to our nation and its ideals. Though judge the terrorists as evil. SAM DANGREMOND countless innocent lives were Relativism is the belief that Editor-in-Chief taken, in the end this attack failed. cultures each have their own moral Campus Affairs The United States of America still code of ethics. To those who be- MEGAN LIOTTA • Editor stands strong, as our virtues are lieve in relativism, knowingly or ADAM BIACCHI • Assistant Editor stronger than mere steel and mor- otherwise, the code of ethics es- tar. In the aftermath of the attacks, poused by the fundamentalist news has moved quickly—but our Muslim terrorists is just as good as National and International Affairs ANDREW GIBBS • Editor principles remain eternal. our own, for after all, who are we to SIMON HOLROYD • Assistant Editor New developments in the judge? This deep-seated philo- events surrounding the attacks sophical flaw is one that harms not Managing Editors come at a lightning pace. With each only the individual who believes EZRA KLUGHAUPT • News day, military deployments occur in it, thwarting his ability to inde- CHRIS KOHLER • Production and new facts are revealed about pendently use reason to judge TARA HEUMANN • Business what happened on September 11th. right and wrong, but its pervasive- MICHAEL SANTORELLI • Commentary It is entirely possible that by the ness in our culture hurts all of us time you are reading this, those on a national scale. With the deaths Humor Editors behind the attacks will have been of over 6,000 Americans, evil has STEPHEN TEMPESTA • ROBERT LICHTER either apprehended or attacked. For stared us in the face. Our nation the media, exploring the various must not blink. The evil behind Contributors political, economic, and racial as- the attacks must be eliminated. NICK ABRAHAM • ALEX ALLEN pects surrounding the events while We at the SOURCE strive to not GERARD BALAN • AARON CLIFT remaining timely is challenging for only bring you a strong articula- JON HALPERT • STACEY JENSEN the New York Times as well as for tion of the conservative point of CHRISTIE L ANGENBERG • ALEX L EVY THE P RIMARY S OURCE. view, but also do our best to pro- JASON W ALKER Yet however quickly news may vide timely news commentary. come and go, the attacks have also Within these pages you will find JONATHAN PERLE • Editor at Large unveiled aspects of our culture that analyses of the racial tensions felt are far less transient. The multitude by Arab-Americans, the military JOSHUA MARTINO • Editor Emeritus of communities across the nation actions that are now necessary, and that have come together to mourn the repercussions that may affect and to display their patriotism American civil liberties; all pre- Founders brings renewed faith in our fate as sented to you with the utmost seri- BRIAN K ELLY • DAN M ARCUS a nation. Our faith in the nobility ousness and integrity they are due. of sacrifice has been renewed by But life does go on here at Tufts, and Special Thanks the brave men of the fire and police as always, we hope you enjoy our USBIC EDUCATIONAL F OUNDATION

departments of New York and Wash- lighter and more irreverent fare— THE PRIMARY SOURCE IS A NON-PROFIT,STUDENT PUBLICATION ington, D.C. who gave their lives in with the knowledge that this humor OF TUFTS U NIVERSITY. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN ARTICLES,FEATURES, the line of duty. However, other does not detract from the serious- PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR ADVERTISEMENTS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL AUTHOR(S)ORSPONSOR(S)ANDDONOTNECESSARILY REFLECT less heartening aspects of Ameri- ness of the unfortunate events. THE VIEWS OF THE EDITORS OR THE STAFF. TUFTS UNIVERSITY IS NOT can culture have also been on full With prayers for all those affected, RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT OF THE PRIMARY SOURCE. display. From the students whose THE PRIMARY SOURCE WELCOMES ALL LETTERS. WE RESERVE THE RIGHTTOEDITORTODENYPUBLICATIONTOANYLETTERBASEDONITSLENGTH unthinking reflex is to label Bush OR CONTENT. ANY LETTER TO AN INDIVIDUAL WRITER CONCERNING WORK an idiot, to those backwards Ameri- PUBLISHEDINTHE P RIMARY S OURCEMAYBEPUBLISHED ONTHELETTERSPAGE. cans who can’t tell the difference LETTERSOF 400 WORDSORFEWERHAVEAGREATERCHANCEOFBEINGPUBLISHED. PLEASE DIRECT ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: [email protected] or between a terrorist and the average THE PRIMARY SOURCE, MAYER CAMPUS CENTER, TUFTS UNIVERSITY, Muslim, many people’s unsavory MEDFORD, MASSACHUSETTS, 02155. ALL LETTER BOMBS WILL BE RETURNED TO SENDER. ©2001. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

4 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 Letters If there was anything at all to feel good about two weeks people you’ve heard bad things about, learn about what you ago, it was the connection we all felt in our shock and grief fear, then make an educated decision about it” would’ve over what happened on September 11th. For me, it was been much more to the point and effective in the long term especially heartening to see concern for the victims from the not just for Arabs and Muslims, but the Pan-African Alli- staff and writers of the Radix, who just last April editorial- ance, Tufts Christian Fellowship, TTLGBC, Tufts Republi- ized in favor of domestic terrorism by the Earth Liberation cans, and any other groups commonly misunderstood on Front. this campus. On the other hand, the racial and religious bigotry An email from Pritesh Ghandi, the TCU Senate CECA expressed through the state and the country was startling (Culture, Ethnicity, and Community Affairs) Committee and disappointing. It was particularly painful and embar- Co-Chair, to the Tufts Association of South Asians mailing rassing to hear racist and ignorant remarks coming from list went even further. He forewarned of a “pressing concern certain conservative radio-commentators when last year’s for all minority communities of color on campus,” as a election campaign showed the majority of U.S. Muslim “conservative backlash is almost expected across various groups, particularly the ones representing Arab, Pakistani, communities throughout the nation, including our own here and other immigrants, endorse George W. Bush over the at Tufts” and “blame for these type of situations is almost Democrats. always blanketed on all members of a certain race or, more It was equally hard to take Tufts’ response to the trag- importantly, color.” edy, particularly the invasive TV sensationalism, lack of University Provost Sol Gittleman responded by email, private space for grief, and administrators’ repeated calls to “Some politically conservative students were saddened that non-judgment and political correctness, which seemed not you stereotyped them as being collectively potentially only fake but contrary to the university’s educational mis- dangerous,” and cautioned about “dehumanizing entire sion. groups.” They appeared to say that unlike the “bloodthirsty Yet, in the wake of what happened over the last two masses,” “you, the enlightened and diverse students of Tufts weeks, all of us must find new ways not to allow our differ- University, should work hard at learning not to be afraid of ences tear us apart, and so does the university. what you don’t know.” In contrast, offering to “meet the —Philipp Tsipman '04

THE SOURCE Welcomes All Letters to theEditor

* Everything You Always Wanted to Know About TUFTS *But Everyone Else Was Afraid to Tell You THE P RIMARY S OURCE Get the finest (not to mention most forthright and telling) account of affairs at Tufts and elsewhere delivered to your doorstep. For a tax-deductible contribution of $30 or more you can receive a full academic year’s subscription via first class delivery. YES! I’ll gladly support Tufts’ Journal of Conservative Thought! SM Enclosed is my contribution in the amount of $ . Name Make checks payable to: THE P RIMARY S OURCE Address Mayer Campus Center Tufts University City, State, ZIP Medford, MA 02155

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 5 Commentary Life Ain’t Beautiful In The Name of Security he recent terrorist attacks on America have united all Ameri- cans. Suddenly, we have a new appreciation for our freedom and n the aftermath of America’s greatest tragedy, no more will we T a longing for the security that we so recently took for granted. This look the same way at a plane or feel safe about flying. There will I feeling is nearly unanimous among Americans, even those who always be the fear that something might happen, and whenever have opposed past conflicts, such as the Vietnam War. However, there is fear, there is also a source of fear. In this case, the culprits there still remains a contingency of our countrymen whose anti- are a very small yet potent group of Muslims. Will we ever look the American impulses cannot be quelled even by the most violent same way at an Arab-American? Of course—we must. attacks on our freedom. Sadly, many of these dissidents call our own As the investigation and subsequent extermination of terror- university home. ism continues, we must come to terms with the idea that we, as a This group of leftist professors and students share a worldview nation, must walk a very thin line between what some call racism in which all that is American and free is suspect and all that is and what others call precaution. Is it a product of racial profiling or antiquated and indigenous is sacred. They view the scattered hate common sense that has led the FBI to detain and investigate well attacks against Muslims that exist on the fringes of American society over 100 Arab and Muslim Americans in connection with this and as a symptom of a national disease, while dismissing the murderous other terrorist attacks? Realistically, it is a combination of both and terrorist attacks of the Palestinian Authority as isolated situations. is wholly justified. In times of war, the inconveniences of the few Their media allies criticize the necessary secrecy of military opera- pale in comparison to the lives of thousands. There are at least a tions, yet censor tapes of Palestinians celebrating American deaths million peace-loving and wholly “American” Arabs in this country, in the streets. They like to refer to Republicans as fascists, yet excuse and the actions of a few should not speak for the sum total. However, murderous tyrants in Cuba, China, and the former Soviet Union. we must all recognize the need for the intense scrutiny of everyone This horrible time in American history should serve as a in this country who is both suspicious and innocent. reminder that common sense and education are in no way related. Our civil liberties—those unique rights allotted to every Anyone who has dealt with a playground bully knows that taking American—may come into conflict with this new War on Terrorism. abuse without acting in response will lead to more abuse. Worse, it We will no longer be able to live without worry underneath the thick will lead to a world in which violence against the meek is rewarded. blanket of security to which we have all become accustomed. Many academics, however, have removed themselves from ordi- Flying, immigration, and other basic freedoms we have taken for nary society for so long that they fail to see such elementary granted will no longer be so simple. If we want to win this war on characteristics of human nature. In their minds, the real world has terrorism, Americans must allow the government to tighten security been replaced by a utopia in which people act not by the rules in order to protect our civil liberties. Random searches and identi- defining their nature, but by the rules of political correctness. Had fication checks in airports, stricter immigration laws, tighter secu- we listened to their counterparts in the 40’s, perhaps we would be rity in and around big cities—certainly these may be inconvenient, speaking German right now. Thankfully, we didn’t, and we won’t but these extra few minutes could save lives. In exchange, we allow listen to them in 2001. our government to “fight the good fight” in order to protect its citizens at home and end the global menace of terrorism. Tufts Gets Shafted

s proud Jumbos, we have the privilege of being surrounded A by the best and the brightest. No, scratch that—the 28th best and brightest students in the country. This comes compliments of US News and World Report, the magazine that perennially reminds us that we’re just not quite good enough. Using an array of statistical methods and recommendations by “top deans,” US News was able to determine that the colleges everyone thought were the best actually were the best. They also provided an “in- depth” and “authoritative” article on their scoring methods, the rankings of most national universities, and a list of strategies for getting accepted (Graduate high school? Apply? Now they tell me!). The article states that the greatest weight was given to reputation, not to test scores, graduation rates or the like. Thus, it is no surprise that the “top deans” of various institutions responded by lauding the very institutions where they work. Using this method, US News then provided all the statistics to back up their tabulations. Tufts did fairly well in several catego- ries: student/faculty ratio (8 to 1), average class size (71% under

6 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 20 students), and graduation rate (87%). Our endowment, however, worthwhile improvements. In the spirit of giving recognition to faltered (37th), along with reputation (3.6 out of 5.0), where our those who have bettered our school, the SOURCE would like to status as a regionally well-regarded but nationally obscure univer- highlight some recent changes at Tufts that we like. sity severely hurt our standing. No mention was made of prevalent Last year’s creation of an “unlimited” meal plan has come to majors, average GPA, or average starting salaries for graduates. fruition with this year’s creation of continual dining selection in While some dismiss these rankings, parents and students tend Dewick and Carmichael. Continual service allows those students to reference them during their college searches. If there is any silver with the unlimited plan to get their money’s worth, as well as provide lining to our dismal showing, it is that we are no longer 29th like last flexibility to students with other meal plans. Patti Lee Klos may still year. This progress doesn’t necessarily mean we “improved” in any have a monopoly on our dining dollars, but with continual dining category. Rather, the magazine changed its sources. We can take service, she can continue to find Aztecs to rub our chicken. some consolation, however, in the fact that a recent ranking of President Lawrence Bacow has set an impressive new tone for weekly news magazines placed US News and World Report in a our university with his personable interaction with students. His very distant third place. Take that! high visibility to undergrads, especially in the wake of the recent tragic events, has made a strong impact on the student body. From Color Blind University spending time in Hotung, to lunches with students, and even teaching a freshman perspectives class, President Bacow’s efforts orty years after admitting its first black students, the University to make himself available to the student body are appreciated, even Fof Georgia was forced to end another form of racial segregation if the SOURCE is way too lazy to go running at 6:00 am. that had become an established part of its admissions process. On Although some may see Big Brother lurking, the SOURCE enjoys August 27th, a federal appeals court in Atlanta upheld a lower the convenience and ease of use of the JumboFOB electronic access court’s ruling in favor of three white women who were denied to South Hall. While some students have expressed concern that admission to the university in 1999. According to the ruling, the they are being tracked by the electronic identification, in all university’s affirmative action policy of giving non-white appli- truthfulness the university’s requirement that we splash our Social cants a statistical boost violated the Constitution’s equal-protec- Security number over every form is a far greater threat to our privacy. tion clause. Before the court ruling took effect, the University of The SOURCE hopes that in the future the FOB program will be Georgia used a numerical formula called the total student index, or extended to all the dorms. TSI, to determine whether to admit students whose test scores and In this information age, the Tufts administration has often grades were not high enough to qualify the students for automatic found itself lagging behind while Tufts’ own students are foraging admission. The TSI awarded points to applicants for various factors, new ground in the digital revolution. The website TuftsLife.com including race. and its new InfoView are perfect examples of how Internet technol- The court’s decision is a victory for supporters of fair standards ogy can effectively be used to deliver information. The SOURCE and a level playing field in university admissions. Awarding thanks those students who have created this technology and “bonus points” to an applicant based solely upon a person’s skin encourages the administration to devote financial resources to color is not only arbitrary, but it is also a disservice to the applicant expand the InfoView. and the university. By lowering academic standards for minority So thanks, Tufts. Thanks for good food, strong leadership, and students, the university sends a message to minority students that new technology. And for plowing over Zeta Psi. Now, if we could ❑ they need extra help. Thus, admitting students under preferential just get Ted Nugent for Spring Fling. treatment is equivalent (borrowing an analogy from political scientist Dinesh D’Souza) to lowering the basketball net every time Michael Jordan tries to make a slam-dunk. Michael Jordan may claim to be able to make the shot without the extra help, but we as the audience wouldn’t know that he has the ability. While creating a diverse student body is a substantial goal of most universities, these institutions must not lower academic standards. If universities truly care about “leveling the playing field,” they should remove questions of race from applications and not require applicants to submit photos of themselves. Ironically, before the mid-1960’s, this was the very idea that liberals supported. However, until university application pro- cesses are race-blind, the playing field will never be truly level.

Changes We Like

oo often both the students and the media at Tufts focus only Tupon the failures of our school without taking time to praise

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 7 From The Elephant's Mouth SM

☞ THE ELEPHANT would like to recognize the following indi- support a president who hides on Air Force One during a viduals for their wanton stupidity during these past weeks of crisis?” On Main Street Kabul, a statue would be erected in his crisis. They may not realize it, but they are lucky to be honor. THE ELEPHANT calls him just another reason to bomb the Americans. Only in our nation could their treasonous stupidity hell out of Kabul. go unpunished. First, the unnamed sociology professor who on the day after the attacks said of Bush’s brief speech: “Bush’s ☞ The Observer’s first Open Forum asked, “What was your brain shuts down after five minutes.” In Afghanistan, such response to Bush’s national address?” Predictably, it was almost speech would get this man stoned to death; in America, he has entirely anti-Bush. Time to re-form the House Committee on tenure at Tufts. Some call this progress; THE ELEPHANT calls him Un-American Activities? THE ELEPHANT thinks so. The sheer lucky… Second, to the unnamed math professor who walked insolence of making insulting remarks about our nation’s leader into a half-empty classroom the day after the attacks and asked, at a time of national crisis is appalling, but the Observer should “Where is everybody?” Uh… funerals? In Baghdad, he would be especially ashamed of printing these quotes. Kier Byrnes: “I get his hand lopped off; in America, he gets paid almost as much think that this is the worst time to have a monkey in the White as a Harvard janitor. Some call this progress; THE ELEPHANT House.” Rah-nee Kelly: “I suppose that in theory I support him, calls him lucky. but it is George W. we are talking about.” Ed Boyer: “Bush is a tool and will behave like a tool.” If you would like to ☞ Then there’s Anne, the Jumbo who yapped on her cell- contribute money to purchase these three nimrods plane tickets phone during the silent candlelight vigil to honor the victims from Logan to Kabul, make your checks out to “THE PRIMARY of terror. In Tehran, her tongue would have been cut out for SOURCE.” such disrespect; in America, she gets free nights and weekends. Some call this progress; THE ELEPHANT calls her lucky… Then ☞ Or "Cash." to the entire staff of Radix, who at their Student Activities Fair booth displayed an anti-ROTC sign. The following day, ☞ Senator Pritesh Gandhi warns TASA of an “almost ex- hundreds of military officials died at the Pentagon. In the West pected conservative backlash” against minority students. Num- Bank, Radix would be cheered; in America, they are merely ber of hate crimes reported at Tufts since plane attacks: zero. ignored. Some call this progress; we call them lucky… Finally, Number of hate crimes against conservatives cited just in this the unnamed poli sci professor asked his class, “How can we section: six. Sounds like the SOURCE owes Pritesh a good beating

Last semester, a referendum was passed proposing that "culture representatives" get full senatorial voting power, even though they are not elected to the senate through a democratic process. THE E LEPHANT would like to salute those students who voted against the amendment—and let those who voted for it know that they have personally made a mockery of the democratic process here at Tufts. Sign up for a government course immediately—you need it.

Voting Culture Representatives Amendment – Intelligence, by the numbers source: Elections Board Tufts students Tufts students Tufts students who are in who are not sure Too rock-stupid to who are mature, Voting Station dire, dire need of a Western whether or not even circle rational adults Civ. class (Yes) they are morons Yes or No. (No) (Abstain) Dewick Dining Hall 11:00am-1:15pm 146 84 15 8 Dewick Dining Hall 1:15pm-3:00pm 47 33 10 4 Dewick Dining Hall 5:00pm-7:15pm 65 36 10 3 Carmichael Dining Hall 11:00am-1:00pm 123 65 24 14 Carmichael Dining Hall 1:00pm-3:00pm 87 50 10 4 Carmichael Dining Hall 5:00pm-7:15pm 56 46 10 10 Mayer Campus Center 11:00am-1:15pm 145 76 20 2 Mayer Campus Center 1:15pm-4:00pm 91 67 13 3 Mayer Campus Center 4:00pm-7:15pm 108 68 23 4 Mayer Campus Center 7:15pm-11:00pm 41 21 7 4 Abroad votes 8 7 1 10 Totals 917 553 143 66

8 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 THE ELEPHANT PRESENTS THE... with a wet noodle to even things out. Give It The Ol' ☞ Overheard on the Academic Quad: a tour guide telling her pre-frosh charges and soon-to-be-broke parents, “Most of the On-Campus Slant people here are, um… very diverse…” We figured that DEPARTMENt! Bendetson was telling the guides to use the word “diversity,” but we also figured they were telling them what the word One of the things they tell college newspapers is to cover national meant… During this year’s annual multi-culti love-in, Many stories with an on-campus twist. So what happens when the Tufts Daily tries to give their national stories that local flavor? Let's find Stories, One Community, an upperclassman seized the mic and out with these actual clippings... proclaimed, “I would like to apologize for the magazine that was handed out before the panel. Not all of Tufts is that closed-minded,” followed by sheep-like applause. He would have actually read some of the offensive SOURCE material, but the text had been smudged unreadable by his drool.

☞ THE ELEPHANT asks, how long will it take until leftists protest at Dewick, demanding racist Din- ing Services change Peking ravioli to Beijing ravioli? … Overhead at the Student Activities Fair: a student is handed a poster urging him to support Tufts’ underpaid janitors, and said, “If I hang these, maybe my bathroom will get cleaned.” Even if not, at least he has extra toilet paper…When a SOURCE member informed the Daily they had published their Monday issue with Wednesday’s date, crack reporter Nick Ferre exclaimed, “When is THE PRIMARY SOURCE gonna go daily?” Probably never, and for that matter, neither will the Daily… Number of days since the beginning of classes: 20. Number of “Dailies” published during that time: 10… In an Observer interview, master thespian and TCF member Scott Doty calls meetings of THE E LEPHANT begs pardon, but what the hell? We can only imagine the TCF Men’s Group “a time for Christian brothers on campus what Tufts' Newspaper of Nothing will give us next. to get to know each other better and talk about girls, dating, stealing, whatever the topic is for the day.” TCF members date? And steal? Steal what, third base? … Medfordites complained during Fall Fest that Wu Tang balladeer GZA was too loud and too foul-mouthed. GZA apologized, saying, “The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not mov’d with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils...” Hot Carl Jackson writes in the Observer, “It should be obvious that Palestinians are not in celebration over the tragedy.” Oh, really? So all that candy they were throwing to kids in the street was mourning candy. Okay.

☞ THE ELEPHANT never forgets. ❑

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 9 groups had the means to attack the United The meek leftist response to terrorism is rooted in the same States, they would. This is precisely why cowardice as terrorism itself. President Bush has declared war. Such ter- rorists cannot be coaxed into submission. These mercenaries are like donkeys; they America's Second Day respond only to force. Too long has America allowed hatred to grow in the shadows of democracy. Fundamentalists are entitled to of Infamy hate the West, and we are allowed to ignore them only until they express their hatred through violence. It is then, as President by Joshua Martino Bush said, that these men “follow in the path of fascism, and Nazism, and totalitarianism. t’s no surprise that a Muslim fundamen- threat that a battle against terrorism poses to And they will follow that path all the way, Italist committed the first great terrorist their multi-cultural worldview: that all civi- to where it ends: in history’s unmarked atrocity of the twenty-first century. This fact lizations are equal. They prickle at the word grave of discarded lies.” is no indictment of Islam; Jews and Chris- “evil,” President Bush’s description of the Still, many peaceniks are wary of the tians also kill in the name of God. Yet, in the terrorists and their sponsors. Leftists hate to nation’s mental preparation for the undoubt- West, we send our murderers to jail. In down- acknowledge that a collective can be mor- edly long battle ahead. Patriotic cheers and town Kabul, Baghdad, and the West Bank, ally vacant. They dread the historical impli- the flying of Old Glory from millions of parades are thrown in their honor. In these cations of the President’s use of the word homes, car antennae, and storefronts intimi- parts of the Middle East, not much has “crusade” to describe his anti-terror cam- date them—they call this behavior, and the changed since the Middle Ages. paign. They know this means that the funda- nation’s clamoring for a military response, Don’t be afraid to say it. Nowadays it’s mentalists who live in the Middle Ages will jingoism. But it should not surprise an considered coarse to condemn a worldview receive medieval justice: diplomacy at the American of the World War II generation as backwards, ignorant or inferior. The im- tip of a sword. that our patriotism is strongest after our ages broadcast on America’s Second Day of Ironically, if anyone could possibly nation is attacked. We are most appreciative Infamy—celebrations in the West Bank, benefit from this disaster, it’s the citizens of of our freedom when it has been threatened. flags burned, the Holy What peace-mongers call jingoism, sensible terrorists Nowadays it’s considered coarse to Land freed by folks call a natural response to fear. If unfurl- martyred— condemn a worldview as the Crusad- ing red, white, and blue on their doorsteps confirm that backwards, ignorant, inferior. The ers. Those helps Americans deal with their helpless Muslim fun- glued to their images broadcast on America’s grief, so be it. If it makes them believe they are damentalism televisions memorializing the men and women who will is just that. Second Day of Infamy—celebrations saw Palestin- die overseas, let the flags fly. For every flag And unlike in the West Bank, flags burned, ian leader burned by the enemies of freedom, one thou- America’s terrorists martyred—confirm that Yasser Arafat sand should be hoisted on liberty’s shores. ❑ Religious Muslim fundamentalism trembling in Right and the disbelief be- Orthodox is just that. fore the cam- Jewish move- eras on that ment, militant Muslims are a threat to civil- Tuesday. Yes, he too was stunned by the ians in other nations. They have declared carnage. Yet he also realized that support for war on the Western world. his cause was shot—the attacks, and the Their victims include other Muslims as subsequent ululating and cheering in Pales- well. In the past weeks, Muslims in the tinian neighborhoods, exposed the true United States have been terrorized by an nature of the opponents of the Jewish state. ignorant response to terrorism. These free- Like the al Quaeda hijackers, Hamas, dom-loving Americans practice a religion Hezbollah, and the Islamic Jihad are not nearly identical in its moral fiber to the motivated by politics. Hatred alone fuels faiths of the West. They too suffered when their movement. the towers came crumbling down. Now every New Yorker is an Israeli. Despite all the ruin, the American Left Since September 11, Washingtonians have bristles at the word “war.” But this reaction also lived with the dread that has embittered is not to the portent of thousands of dead the lives of Jews and their Muslim allies American soldiers. Rather, they realize the during the second Intifada. There is no dif- ference between those who toppled the Mr. Martino is a senior majoring in World Trade Center and the suicide bomb- Those responsible for such destruction English. ers of anti-Zionist terror groups. If the latter do not understand diplomacy.

10 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 SPECIALA SECTION

Culture Reps ...we'd like to see Qatari Special Interests: Not being Afghani Redneck Pet Project: Campus-wide info session outlining differences between Qatari and Afghani Special Interests: people Mission Statement: “We swear Whittlin’, lynchin’, that we are NOT Afghani.” chaw Pet Project: Flush turlets in the dorms Stoner Mission Special Interests: Funyuns, popcorn, lots and Statement: “You lots of water. Pet Project: Keep Kee Kar Lau open to 5am sure got a purty Mission Statement: “Whoah. Huh huh. Have mouth, boy!” you ever looked at the back of your hand, man?” Tourette's Special Interests: Homeless Making the community Special Interests: Food, warmth, shelter safe for F**K SH*T ASS Pet Project: Bathing, dinner C**K! Mission Statement: “Do you have a dollar?” Pet Project: BITCH F**K in the library and more PU**Y SH*T for dorms Mission Statement: “F**K F**K F**K MOTHERF**K!”

Special Interests: Quilting, ankle porn Pet Project: Buggy hitches on Boston Avenue, feed for sale in Jumbo Express Mission Statement: “I’m not Jewish, you moron.” Biacchi Special Interests: The Amish Malt liquor, hos Pet Project: Getting Dr. Dre for commencement speaker Mission Statement: “Yo, dude… I’m strugglin’.”

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 11 12 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 In Memoriam

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 13 SPECIALA SECTION If I were a senator *To the tune of That's it! I'll become a TCU Senator! Fiddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee "If I Were A Rich Man" I'd be a campus celebrity I'll pick up all the necessary forms If I were a senate man! at the Student Center! I'd be in all the papers Fiddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee Chicks would line up just to talk to me If I were a senate man!* SPORTS We Obsever Still CHUCK, a freshman at Tufts, is enjoying a fine meal of Aztec- Frigging FRESHMIN Suck SENOTE rubbed chicken at Carmichael and reading our fine student paper ELEKSHUN when he is suddenly struck by a vision... NOW Ambition! Ambition! But when Chuck went to the Who has the right to handle all your money ...and that's why I'll never be a Senator. I feel diverse, oh so diverse... campus center... Spend it on a patio There were just too many people running. I feel colored, and crippled, and Buy some Chinese food I'll never get 100 unique signatures! gaaaaaaaaaaaay...... The Senate! The Senate! Ambition! *To the tune of "I Feel Pretty"

*To the tune of "Tradition" Those are the other "culture Well, Chuck... there is one thing you can do... Chuck knew his only chance was to become a culture Hey, Liu Kang... who are reps." We're like senators but Chuck, be a homo tonight! those empowered-looking don't get elected. We get picked representative. That night, at his Perspectives class ("Gender and Power In The Harry Potter Series"), Chuck, be a homo tonight! people? by others of our skin color, he spoke to his peer leaders, Neil and Bob. Chuck, if you want to get a free seat on the handicap, or sexual orientation. Senate Chuck, be a homo tonight! ...so I want to be a 'Cause culture reps don't get culture rep, but I'm not elected. African-American, That isn't fair! That isn't nice! Asian-American, or So even if you don't have Hispanic-American! ideas or skills We'll pick you and *To the tune of never think twice! "Luck Be A Lady" And so, Chuck found himself at So, after a long night of soul-searching, Chuck realized that he had Oh no! Here I am, a senator, and I haven't been gay since he was 14. But first, he had to prove it to the TTLGBC. his first senate meeting... and he was the tie-breaker for the most so much as even cracked a goddamned book on government in my entire life! Potpourri, Broadway, Gianni Versace important vote of all. What am I supposed to do? George Michael, Elton John and Liberace Shaved Asian boys tied up with rope and string These are a few of my favorite things... That's easy, Chuck! Just say it like this: YOU'RE "Us culture reps vote mainly for the left."

*To the tune of "My Favorite Things" IN! Us... culture... reps... vote mainly... for the left. I think he's got it! I think he's got it!

Us culture reps vote maaaaaainly for the leeeeeeft!

The vote passed 9-8, and free thought was eliminated When a Senator When the Capen House gets their favorite bill passed from Walnut Hill. And all the culture reps, and the one You can bet that the tie was broken by an African lass remaining democratically elected senator, sang. Votes for trips to gay bars You can bet that he's prob'ly a culture rep! When custodians get more money and then All the bathrooms are still a godawful mess Call it sad, call it funny But you'd better believe it, honey You can bet that they're probably CULTURE REPS!

*To the tune of "Guys and Dolls"

14 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 looked explanation for this: the positions Tufts' janitors are good, hard-working people; listed are all skilled labor occupations. they deserve better than SLAM. SLAM is equating blue-collar with un- skilled, which is an unfair and blatantly wrong assumption. Firefighters are blue- collar, but are hardly unskilled. The same goes for the plumbers, electricians, and Night of the Living Wage mechanics posted on SLAM’s list. Thus, the comparison of wages to the unskilled labor force that is the custodial staff is by Megan Liotta void. SLAM may as well compare jani- tors’ wages with those of the university’s roups of angry young people are themselves infuriated are forgetting to professors. Gmilling around a college campus, put- answer the question on the flyer. The SLAM’s most palpable mandate is a ting up posters, giving ultimatums to the people who clean the toilets are the people pay increase for the laborers, who, if top administrators, and drawing attention who are paid to clean the toilets. It is part SLAM’s posters are to be accepted as ac- to the custodial of the job de- curate, make, on average, $20,000 per staff at their scription for year. SLAM argues that this is not a living school. The jani- Perhaps the greatest irony is OneSource em- wage for one living in and around the tors are under- that many of the students ployees hired to Somerville/Medford region. Ironically, paid, they yell. who are protesting the work as janito- $20,000 seems to be a perfectly adequate We will take over current working conditions rial staff. living wage for Harvard janitors living in this campus like The meeting, and around the Cambridge area, which Hitler in Poland for Tufts janitors will only be which was held at unquestionably has a higher standard of until you meet earning a little better than the ever-unim- living than Somerville. In fact, twenty our demands, $20,000 if they enter the portant Arts Haus, grand happened to be the salary requested they shriek. This workforce immediately after was a flurry of and cited as an appropriate living wage by kind of behavior numbers, paper, Harvard’s activists just a few months ago sounds an awful graduation. and heart-break- for their custodial staff. Either the mem- lot like Harvard ing speeches. bers of SLAM did not bother to research last year. Unfor- Professors, stu- this information, which is quite likely, or tunately, it’s a description of the Tufts cam- dents, and, of course, union officials spoke are just hoping everyone else won’t no- pus for the past few weeks. to a group of approximately thirty people, tice, once again preying upon the poorly Taking a cue from their Cambridge giving the history of Tufts’ janitorial ser- informed at Tufts. In this case it is hard to counterparts, leftists at Tufts have formed vices and planning yet another noise fest, say which is worse—stupidity or malice. the Student Labor Action Movement alternately known as a rally, that was even- Perhaps the greatest irony is that many (SLAM). Though unaffiliated with the uni- tually held on September 19th. of the students, if not all, who are protest- versity, SLAM is rapidly becoming an Among easily recognizable group on Walnut Hill. the paper And like many organizations that jump items avail- on the bandwagon for a movement, SLAM able to attend- has done only a small bit of its homework, ees of the meet- leaving its cause open to infinite criticism ing was a list and probable failure. of wages for SLAM’s founding members peppered various Tufts the campus with a variety of flyers adver- maintenance tising an informational meeting for stu- employees dents who want “justice for janitors.” Post- both in 1993 ers informed students that the president of and in 2001. Tufts makes $300,000 a year, while the The majority janitors only make $20,000 a year. “Guess of the posi- who cleans toilets,” the posters demand. tions com- Many people who saw the discrepancy mand higher were probably initially shocked. It seems salaries than like a tremendous difference, perhaps even do the custo- an unfair one. But the people who find dial staff. There is an Miss Liotta is a junior majoring in easy, but ap- The living wage is the cause du jour of Tufts leftists—too bad English. parently over- they're not bright enough to see it does more harm than good.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 15 ing the current working conditions for Tufts There is no foresight, justice or creativity behind the janitors will only be earning a little better than $20,000 if they enter the workforce tempting notion that Osama should be killed. immediately after graduation. Industry av- erage starting salary for an editorial assis- tant, a job which requires at least a Osama: Disciplined and bachelor’s degree and exact knowledge of English grammar, at a publishing firm in Manhattan is under $25,000, definitely Punished not a living wage for New York City. Yet the people who hold these jobs do not go by Jason Walker running to unions asking for more money and better benefits. AOLTimeWarner does hat should be done with Osama bin and he would, no doubt, be put to death as not understand the term “job security,” WLaden if it is conclusively proven the bloodthirsty war criminal that he is. But and union officials are not going to sud- that he is responsible for the September 11 I am quite sincere in that I believe that there denly make Ted Turner grow a heart. A attacks and the Army manages to capture is a punishment that would not only be the New Yorker in a financial quandary does him alive? Almost everyone I’ve read has best form of justice imaginable, it would what any self-respecting American in need argued, quite persuasively in many cases, also be the one least likely to make bin of money does: gets a second and third job that we need to kill Laden a martyr. until gaining the skills for a promotion. the beast by killing I submit killing Osama would Quite the oppo- Many OneSource workers barely have its head, i.e. by re- be a bad idea. To begin with, site, in fact. scinding the Ex- It’s not, as you a working command of English, and even it's uncreative. In death, hold their workers’ meetings in Spanish, ecutive Order pro- might expect, yet they ask for salaries comparable to hibiting assassina- Osama would only become a some form of tor- those aforementioned. Where does one tions and killing martyr to his sick cause; for ture that will draw the line? Wages are controlled by the bin Laden. Even this reason, and because of bring about his many of the liber- death in a cre- economy, a concept seemingly lost on his beliefs he has no fear of SLAM. A well-known study of fast food als bothered by that atively cruel and employees showed that an increase in idea, and by the death. ironic way. I sug- wages for the lowest paid employees only death penalty in gest that Osama served to take jobs away from people. The general, seem perfectly content to appre- bin Laden should be locked up in a tiny companies simply didn’t have enough hend him and have a properly constituted room with no windows. It will have prison- money to consistently pay the same num- court sentence him to death, à la Nuremberg. style bedding, a toilet, and a sink. It will be a form ber of employees with higher wages, so I submit that this would be a bad idea. of solitary confinement, with no opportunity for some were fired. OneSource workers may To begin with, it’s uncreative. It’s the same contact with the outside world (so he can’t face no job at all if their salaries are in- kind of punishment that someone living in coordinate with his terrorist buds, or write creased beyond what the market dictates. ancient Sumeria might’ve suggested, and While SLAM claims that the money Tufts even worse, it could be a self-defeating saves on cleaning labor is wasted on other punishment from the point of view of the beautifying projects around campus, U.S. In death, bin Laden may only become members of Tufts newest annoyance ig- stronger by being a martyr to his sick cause; nore the fact, sad as it might be, that the for this reason, and because of his religious way the campus looks attracts donations. beliefs, he has no fear of death. (Inciden- This is a simple reality of human nature. tally, this is also what makes him such a SLAM might instead suggest the abolish- disturbing adversary; even the Soviets feared ment of such financial black holes as I. death). A true punishment should be one the Melvin Bernstein’s $500,000 Diversity guilty person would have reason to fear. In Fund legacy, perhaps the most ambiguous this context, bin Laden would view death, useless expenditure ever. his path to heaven, as the proverbial “briar Ultimately, SLAM’s cause is doomed patch” punishment. to fail in one way or another. Either So, I’d like to offer a modest proposal of OneSource and Tufts will realize that dras- what I think would be the best thing to do tically changing their contract is detri- with him. Admittedly, this is a mildly tongue- mental to both parties and will keep it in-cheek proposal, in the sense that in real- comparable to the old contract, or SLAM’s ity if he were caught, the authorities would so-called reforms will be worked into the never consider this as a serious possibility, contract, and a third of Tufts’ janitors will Mr. Walker is a second-year graduate ❑ be laid off. student in Philosophy. A fitting punishment.

16 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 Falwellian screeds suggesting that God supports of topics. And don’t get me started on the We might also reward him for good violence against children of “sinful” people). quantity and quality of commercials on behavior. If he keeps his cell clean, and is So far, quite boring as far as punish- MTV. Yes, Osama bin Laden, the would-be friendly with the guards who deliver his ments go. But we’re not finished. Remem- leader of the Muslim world and would-be McDonald’s meals to him, we might even ber 1984? Remember the huge TV’s that instigator of the mother of all jihads, will allow him to upgrade his prison furniture: to everyone had to have in their homes, TV’s that be subjected to a 24-hour stream of mind- stuff from Ikea. Granted, Ikea’s really a could never be turned off, but could only be less garbage from MTV. Swedish company, but America’s a cosmo- turned down slightly in volume during sleep? There is also the matter of food. Again, politan nation of immigrants, as evidenced One of these TV’s will be in Osama’s room, one the obvious choice is also the most boring. by our embrace of foreign things like Ikea big enough to take Bread and wa- furniture. You can’t really say that about up an entire wall. ter? Please. Afghanistan or Yemen. Now, it is Yes, Osama bin Laden, the We can do This is my punishment. There's not tempting to think would-be leader of the Muslim better than much of a capacity for martyrdom here— that maybe world and would-be instigator that. And giv- just a slow, painful torture that will eventu- what’s needed is of the mother of all jihads, will ing him noth- ally destroy what’s left of his sociopathic an MST3K-type ing but pork to mind. Best of all, we might be able to allow punishment, be subjected to a 24-hour eat might the media to conduct an interview with him whereby Osama stream of mindless garbage tempt him to a year or two into his punishment. By that is subjected to from MTV. try a hunger point, he would’ve gained 350 pounds from the worst movies strike that his McDonalds food, and be thoroughly ever made. But would lead to brainwashed with MTV culture. We’ll dress that hardly worked for Mike and Joel when his eventual starvation, not to mention have him up in clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch, they were on the Satellite of Love; bad the possible side effect of galvanizing radi- cut his beard and hair into an American movies only provided them fodder that cal Muslim groups who would see Osama as style, and allow the interview to go to all they could mock from afar. Osama might a victim. No, I have something better in mind. major world media outlets. well be able to handle something like Remember, his hatred is American cul- that. No, I suggest something far, far more ture, right? So... every single one of his Kurt Loder: “So if you could get out of insidious. meals must come from McDonald’s. No prison and meet anyone, who would you What is the one thing Osama hates other place. I’ll even give him a menu, and want to meet? Who inspires you?” more than anything else in the world? he can choose something different for every America. Not just America as such, but meal. But all three meals a day must come 450 lb. Osama: “I’d want to meet ‘NSYNC, American culture, with its emphasis, in from McDonald’s, and be something on the Kurt. Their music is so stylin’, you know? And his mind, on frivolity, sexual freedom, menu. And just as the real McDonald’s hates they have dance moves and a sense of fashion this-worldly happiness, worship of youth, when you try to order something different that I would die for. Especially Justin and impiety. Sure, by his psychopathic from how it’s spelled out on the menu, Timberlake. Oh! And oh my gawd, that standards, I guess we’re guilty. He be- Osama’s choices must be something actu- Britney; what I wouldn’t give to go out shop- lieves “corrupt” American cultural val- ally on the ping for clothes ues, along with US military intervention menu, served What's the one thing that with her. She’s so in the Middle East, have prevented the the same way it What's the one thing that sexy, and so region from enjoying the benefits of the would be in the Osama hates more than smart.” vibrant and inventive culture offered by restaurant. anything? America. Not just freedom-loving groups like the Taliban. I also America, but American Kurt Loder: There is one place in American culture wouldn’t give culture, with its emphasis on “And this, was where those vices he abhors are most am- him anything culture, with its emphasis on MTV News.” plified, where they are so saturated that to read other frivolity, sexual freedom, that even many Americans, including my- than women’s this-worldly happiness, This image, self, can’t handle it. I’m speaking, of fashion and worship of youth, and flickering on course, of MTV. general interest impiety. televisions Not MTV2 (which I’m told every now magazines like impiety. worldwide, will, and then actually still shows music videos, Redbook, I guarantee, de- some of them supposedly decent) and cer- Cosmo, Rosie or Oprah Magazine. No Ko- ter future terrorism and deflate any heroic tainly not old-school MTV of the 80’s ran. Unless, perhaps, there exists a “Com- notions radical Islamic groups may hold of (which did the same thing, just with bigger plete Idiot’s Guide to the Koran” or perhaps Osama, to say nothing of instilling fear in hair). I’m talking MTV circa 2001, with “Cliff’s Notes on the Koran.” That would be the hearts of those contemplating terrorist such fine programming as the Real World, cool. (The former might actually be essen- acts. The true horror of this punishment Road Rules, Jackass, the Tom Green Show, tial; it would highlight the sections of the would be that not only would this turn Osama and all sorts of programming involving Koran that Osama ignores to justify his into what he hates most, it would turn him Carson Daly talking about and with notion of a connection between Islam and into a graphic exaggeration of our beauti- ‘NSYNC and Britney about the most banal mass murder.) fully excessive American culture. ❑

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 17 who shift about the country, plundering Terrorism? Not in my backyard! supplies and arms, then drifting back into the deserts and mountains. Getting at these people will require a costly ground war. To make sure that the benefits outweigh The Twisted Arena of the cost, America must take steps to en- sure that freedom can subsequently take root in the emancipated land. American U.S. Foreign Policy military might overcame Japan and Ger- many during WWII, leaving their land in ruin, but it was the Marshall Plan that kept by Andrew Gibbs history from repeating itself. The deci- tragedy has befallen the United States of one Afghani, “Who cares if Americans mated lands of America’s enemies were re- Aof proportions that most people are come and kill us? We will soon starve to built, their economies flourished, freedom still struggling to comprehend. Not since death anyway.” America’s capitalist de- took hold, and today they are among Pearl Harbor has there been such an attack mocracy, while far from perfect, gives America’s staunchest allies. A similar course on the American homeland and peace of people the opportunity to work hard and of action should be considered after the mind. The trumpets of war are sounding reap the rewards. Of course, the opposite completion of Operation Infinite Justice. and the military is on alert; the nation is is true in places like Afghanistan, where While improvement of conditions readying it- children grow around the world should be a focal point self for a long American military might up starving, of American effort, America must guard its and arduous overcame Japan and Germany education is freedoms at home even more fiercely. fight. Mili- unavailable, Without liberty, all is lost and the reign of tary action is during WWII, leaving their land women are terror is victorious. Civil liberties must the necessary in ruin, but it was the Marshall property, and not be sacrificed on the altar of security, response to an Plan that kept history from the flow of or there will be nothing worth saving. attack on a repeating itself. The decimated wealth is con- Indeed, security has been sloppy and war- rants tightening, but this must be done sovereign lands of America’s enemies were trolled by nation’s home force instead with great care. Governments often use soil. Failure to rebuilt, their economies of trade. national tragedies as justification for do so charac- flourished, freedom took hold, Where reli- usurping powers from citizens. The free- terizes the as- and today they are among gious funda- dom most in danger at present is that of citizens’ right to privacy. Government is saulted nation America’s staunchest allies. mentalism as an interna- stands strong, always trying to expand its snooping ca- tional push- only hatred pabilities. The digital age has added a over and marks and resigna- new twist to this effort. Politicians such as it as the target of further attacks. Both tion can exist. Arabs are not the root cause Senator Judd Gregg is pushing for a bill terrorists and their underlying support net- of America’s problems, as evidenced by that would ban unbreakable encryption. In works must be uprooted. This, however, is the millions of hard-working Arab-Ameri- the police state that he envisions, all digi- only a short-term solution to a very seri- cans that live in this country. tal encryption technology would have a ous problem that requires substantial Will wholesale long-term attention. America must now bombing of Af- step back, look at the larger picture, and ghanistan accom- ask “Why?” Upon doing this, it becomes plish America’s clear that this wasn’t simply “an attack on goals? The major- democracy and freedom” and that a mili- ity of Afghanistan tary response, while necessary, will not already lies in ruin; serve as a complete solution by itself. In their schools, addition to the burden of military action, roads, hospitals, America must strive for just foreign policy, and houses are al- and seek to promote liberty and education ready rubble. Most abroad, in addition to staunchly defend- Afghanis would ing it at home. love to be free, but While America is the land of opportu- are held prisoner by nity, many third world nations are the a religious cult. The lands of hopelessness. In the reported words people who are causing trouble are Mr. Gibbs is a senior majoring in guerilla fighters Computer Science.

18 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 built-in backdoor that would allow gov- ernment to decrypt data at will. He be- America is the Land of Opportunity, as long lieves that as a matter of citizenship the as you obey the rules. creators of such technologies “have an obligation” to produce government decryption products. If the creators of these technologies have any sense of patriotism All Carrot, No Stick then they will realize that it is their obli- gation to refuse any such demand. It is a fairly well known fact that government is dumber than the average citizen. Accord- ingly, if government can crack a given by Tara Heumann encryption scheme, then so too can any- uestions of amnesty and of immigra- migrants living within American borders body else, rendering it a worthless tech- Qtion policy have challenged our na- at the time. Instead of solving the problem nology. For the sake of privacy and intel- tion for well over one hundred years. Our of illegal immigration, the far-reaching lectual property this must not be allowed. history has seen several great waves of pardon encouraged more illegal immigrants Last but not least, America must take immigration, most notably the two strad- to penetrate our borders, hoping to be simi- a careful look at the history of its foreign dling the turn of the twentieth century, larly absolved down the road. Today, there policy. The United States condemns acts which brought large numbers of Europe- may be as many as eight million aliens of terrorism. That statement, however, re- ans to American soil. squatting on American soil. Even though quires an addendum. The United States While immigration has contributed the new initiative would not rival the 1986 condemns acts of terrorism if they are greatly to the development and strength- agreement in terms of sheer numbers, it committed against the United States. ening of our nation, extending citizenship would be one of the largest amnesties in America has a particularly long and bloody to people from around the world does not recent memory. terrorist history of its own, mostly in Cen- come without a price. Whenever we wel- In terms of economic expansion, a blan- tral and South America and the Carib- come immigrants, we must then provide them ket amnesty appears to be a no-brainer. If bean. Most disturbing, Osama bin Laden with social services—welfare, education, there are eager employees in Mexico and and his forces were actually trained by the healthcare— willing em- United States when they were combating all of which The economic benefits of the ployers in the the Soviets many years ago. Until now, have a cost. United States, these atrocities have occurred in distant The greatest worker influx would be shouldn’t we lands, out of the reach of the American problem is negligible: their contribution to do everything media’s lenses. Only when terrorists de- created GDP would be cancelled out by possible to stroy American buildings and murder when people have both American citizens is there outrage. Pure try to enter the additional burden they halves of the capitalism is the most virtuous form of our country would place on social services. whole con- economy, but much of the capitalism seen illegally, de- Immigrants with low-laying jobs verge on in the past century involving foreign na- priving us of American soil? tions has been faux-capitalism: business the opportu- would not pay in taxes what But backed up by the might of government, nity to allo- they used in welfare, health, those who fa- using the American military as racketeers. cate our re- and educational funding. vor blanket Such practices tarnish everything for sources effi- amnesty, even which the United States stand. As the ciently and with strong foreign policy bully of the world, the U.S. fairly. economic arguments, are sure to face strong is now starting to experience substantial Immigration policy has once again opposition in the months to come. A study blow back. America must openly address made its way to the top of the national recently published by the Center for Immi- the hypocrisy of its foreign policy if there agenda. Mexican President Vicente Fox gration Studies indicated that the economic is to be honest interaction with the rest of met with President Bush in February in San benefits of the worker influx would be the world in the future. Cristobal, Mexico, where he urged a blan- negligible: their contribution to GDP would The present global situation is an ket amnesty for all Mexicans who have be cancelled out by the additional burden extremely delicate one. The United States entered the United States illegally. Ana- they would place on social services. Immi- has little choice but to act militarily, but lysts estimate that such an action would grants with low-laying jobs would not pay the fact that it must be this way stands as grant immediate legal residency to over in taxes what they used in welfare, health, a monument to failed diplomacy. No pleas- three million immigrants. and educational funding. This burden ant course of action exists. Mistakes have In 1986, our government granted am- would increase even more when new Ameri- been made, and consequences are forth- nesty to over half of the five million illegal cans sought to move the rest of their fami- coming. History, however, may not be Miss Heumann is a sophmore who has lies from Mexico. Immigrants who are ❑ rewritten. One may only learn from it. not yet declared a major. granted legal residency gain the right to

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 19 petition for members of their family to agreement be good for the GOP? Some come to the United States. One California political analysts have pointed to the social scientist predicted that each new amnesty debate as an opportunity to resident would have about three relatives loosen the Democratic hold on the His- Every 3.6 who wished to join him or her. panic vote. But if welcoming Mexican In addition to economic troubles, the illegals would be a strong Republican seconds, a baby - amnesty question also raises issues of jus- move, how come the Democrats support it tice. Congressional Democrats and other too? As National Review columnist Mark amnesty supporters paradoxically favor Krikorian so clearly asserts, “elections are like the ones in the extension of residency privileges to a zero-sum game—in our two-party sys- those whose mere presence breaks a fed- tem, if the Democrats win, the Republi- the paintings, eral law. If our central government dem- cans lose.” Though both parties believe onstrates that it is acceptable to pick and that an amnesty would be politically with the big round choose which laws to follow, what is to strengthening, only one will prevail. keep American citizens from taking the Throughout the debate, Congres- same attitude? By excusing and even re- sional Democrats have proven eager to eyes - dies of warding illegal activity, Washington un- trump the president on every aspect of his dermines its own authority and puts all plan. When Bush first presented amnesty starvation. Americans at risk. for Mexicans in July, Senate majority Unlike the 1986 amnesty, the current leader Tom Daschle quickly moved to proposal fails to crack down on illegal endorse the plan for illegal immigrants of immigration in the future. There has been all nationalities. When the White House no mention thus far of increasing security finally agreed to consider all illegal im- aren't you just at the Mexican-American border or of more migrants, the Democrats again widened severe punishments for employers who the scope of the plan by challenging Bush ashamed of hire illegal immigrants. In the absence of to ease restrictions on families of legal tougher immigration policy, eager mi- migrants and to extend a welcome to any- grants from all over the world may inter- one who had worked in the United States yourself. pret America’s doors to be wide open and for ninety days of the past year. without restriction. Border patrol reports Opponents of blanket amnesty are already indicate dangerous increases in not opponents of all immigration. America illegal traffic from Mexico. Even migrants is, after all, a nation of immigrants. Since from Russia, China, Iran, and Argentina our country’s inception, it has attracted have begun to cross the border in greater ambitious citizens from around the world numbers. Might hopeful migrants from who admire American political and eco- OXFAM around the world view a 2001 pardon as the nomic freedom. The United States praises second in a cycle of amnesties? hard work and welcomes those citizens to The final question, reliably asked, is: our nation, but we cannot welcome them will a Republican-endorsed amnesty all in one fell swoop. ❑ CAFE the most goddamned depressing restaurant ever.

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20 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 The rest of the world wonders why the United States ignored delegation simply because there is no one left from those groups to complain. a racism conference held by bigots. The issue on many minds, and of added concern to many African nations, was the question of reparations for slaves. National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, one Calling the Kettle Black of the most prominent and influential blacks in the Bush administration, dismissed the idea of reparations to compensate the de- scendants of slaves. “Given the fact that by Stephen Tempesta there’s plenty of blame to go around for n the first week of September, 2001, hun- China’s treatment of Tibet. Even an appeal slavery, plenty of blame to go around among Idreds of United Nations delegates met in by U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan to African and Arab states, plenty of blame to Durban, South Africa, for the UN’s world avoid “mutual accusations” seemed to fall go around among Western states—I think conference against racism, racial discrimi- on deaf ears when Palestinian leader Yasser we’re better to look forward, not point nation, xenophobia and other related intol- Arafat accused Israel of ethnic cleansing. fingers backward,” Rice stated. Instead of erance. The members of this conference The argumentative stance of nations ob- dwelling on the past, she hoped that, “we hoped to out- jecting to trans- would spend our time thinking about how line a strategy to gressions that to educate black children, particularly fight racism How can one hope to cure the they commit black children who are caught in poverty,” worldwide. problem of racism if one themselves is and, “turning back the soft bigotry of low expectations against our children.” However well- behaves as racists do? The bewildering. intended their In ad- In the days since September 11, we goals, the del- conference was designed to dition to fight- have seen how a horrific tragedy can bring egates fell into fight discrimination, but it ing racism, the nations together. The inefficiency of the the same racial quickly became a forum in other main goal UN conference looks even more absurd in comparison to the sympathy, support, and profiling and which to denounce and ridicule of the confer- petty bickering ence was to de- solidarity that many nations showed for they set out to the only democratic ally we nounce sla- America in the wake of the terrorist attacks. combat. have in the Middle East. very. Slavery Even some nations with which the US is From the should have often at odds showed their readiness to outset, confer- been a rela- offer assistance. Yasser Arafat, a vocal op- ence attendees could not agree on issues tively simple issue on which to agree in ponent of U.S. foreign policy, proclaimed such as the Arab-Israeli conflict. The ex- light of the fact that only a small handful of the sadness of the American people to be tent of the disagreement was so overwhelm- nations are still involved in the slave trade. the sadness of the Palestinian people and ing that the United States elected not to The discussion of slavery turned into a seemed visibly shaken by the attacks. The send its chief diplomat, Secretary of State battle of semantics as delegates tried to world has proved it can rally in a time of Colin Powell, to the event. Instead, the US one-up each other with increasingly strong crisis. Why is it so hard for them to rally ❑ was represented by a special delegation and lengthy condemnations of the prac- behind basic human respect? whose specific goal was to remove lan- tice. One can observe guage from the conference declaration this simply by reading deemed “overtly-negative toward the Is- the declaration. The raeli people.” After all, how can one hope paragraph denouncing to cure the problem of racism if one be- slavery was more than haves as racists do? The conference was four times the size of designed to fight discrimination, but it any other. Discussion quickly became a forum in which to de- of the Holocaust was nounce and ridicule the only democratic limited to a disgraceful ally we have in the Middle East. nine words. The section It is completely inappropriate that the dedicated to slavery only country denounced was Israel. Con- mentioned only those ference delegates did not criticize Sudan victims of African and for its practice of slavery, nor the Afghani Asian descent, fully Taliban, which is basically a medieval dic- ignoring the plight of tatorship. Attendees paid no attention to slaves in Europe, Rus- sia, the Middle East, Mr. Tempesta is a junior majoring in and other regions that The UN did not condemn current slave traders, but sought History. are of no concern to the to condemn a slave trade outlawed since the 19th century.

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 21 For once, right-thinking Jumbos have more people to Tufts liberals tirelessly advocate all things egalitarian concerning social issues, blame than a handful of radicals. so why should they oppose political equal- ity? Whatever crock story they can come up with about the disempowerment faced by certain groups most certainly does not A Vote for Shame apply here at Tufts. Last year 43% (12 of 28) of fully elected senators were members of “disempowered” groups, and that num- ber could very well be higher since some by Adam Biacchi senators may not yet be “out of the closet.” That makes the Senate an accurate repre- had hoped that the day would never conviction that all people are created equal sentation of the actual demographic I come when I felt embarrassed to call is the fundamental pillar upon which our makeup of the university. This number myself a Tufts student. Not even in the entire system of government is perched. could fluctuate in the future, but consider- midst of last year’s TCF fiasco and the Every November, all voters are treated as ing how few people have run for student ensuing seizure of Bendetson Hall by ex- equals regardless of sex, race, religion, government in recent years, there will al- tremists did creed, or ways be plenty of minorities on the Senate as long as minorities are interested in stu- my discom- Tufts liberals tirelessly advocate sexuality. fiture reach Equal rep- dent government. the point of all things egalitarian concerning resenta- In the past, culture representatives renouncing social issues, so why should they tion is our have whined that they are part of the Senate the student oppose political equality? unequivo- yet have no power. While they may be part of the Senate, culture representatives are body as a Whatever crock story they can cal right as whole, for it voting citi- not senators and were never meant to be. seemed come up with about the zens under Our Tufts student government forefathers quite appar- disempowerment faced by certain this noble who drafted the TCU Constitution envi- ent that groups most certainly does not system. sioned the culture representatives as advi- sors, nothing more. They are meant to have those radi- apply here at Tufts. Until this cals did not year such as much power as the poor sap from the represent was the Daily who has to sit in the corner listening the general sentiment of the university. case at Tufts as well. However, the abomi- to everyone else prattle on. An amazingly Yet, upon learning of the passage of nable amendment changes everything. In small portion of the Tufts population the culture representative constitutional addition to the regular 28 senators elected chooses culture representatives, usually amendment over the summer I felt a very by the general populace, five additional just a handful of individuals who are very strong urge to retch right there on the spot, “senators” will represent only their own active in their respective cultural organi- not only because it signaled the end of our specially selected groups. Under the new zation, whereas hundreds of students vote democratic student government, but also amendment, these fourcounterfeit senators for the regular senators. They are not ac- because I could not attribute this act of have equal power and sway as the real countable for their actions like real sena- idiocy to the usual radical leftist suspects. senators, despite the fact that they are elected tors because they represent so few people, This travesty against equality was propa- by only a fraction of the Tufts student and yet the population of this university gated by a majority of my own peers with body. The constitutional description of has blindly given them equal power. nary a sit-in, rally, demonstration, or even these culture representatives with full vot- The culture representative system, as a protest. The relative ease of the ing power states that they must “represent described in the TCU Constitution, is in- amendment’s passage only adds to my the interests of the community for which nately unfair because four people surely bewilderment that such a mockery of de- they were elected to represent,” namely the cannot represent all the different cultures mocracy can exist at my own university. Asian, lesbian/gay/bisexual, Hispanic, at Tufts. The most obvious example is the This is the type of scenario that you read Pan-African. Hence a hypothetical straight Asian Community at Tufts (ACT), which about in the “strange but true” section of half-Italian/half Turkish studnet would be should represent all of Asia, but in reality the newspaper and then you say to your- represented only by the traditional 7 sena- is dominated by East Asians. South Asians self, “gee, I’m glad I don’t go there!” Well, tors, whereas a gay half-Filipino/half-Mexi- and Arabs are effectively not represented at we do go here, and the problem is ours to can student would be represented by a all and deserve their own culture represen- remedy. whopping 10 senators. Rational, civil- tative. But who can say that some cultures The Constitution of the United States minded students cannot consent to this deserve a representative more than other calls for a representative democracy. The travesty of the democratic process. By pre- cultures? There is no fair way to decide suming that individuals may be represented which cultures should have representatives Mr. Biacchi is a junior majoring in unequally, one must first presume that all and which ones should not. This begs the ❑ Chemistry and Environmental Studies. individuals are not equal. question: why have them at all?

22 THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 In honor of Vice President I. Melvin Bernstein's retirement, THE PRIMARY SOURCE would like to say:

"We believe that a highly focused continuing commitment to diversification will constitute a positive step for improving the diversity of our faculty."—I. Melvin Bernstein

THE PRIMARY SOURCE, SEPTEMBER 27, 2001 23 THE PRIMARY SOURCE NON-PROFIT ORG. Mayer Campus Center U.S. POSTAGE PAID Tufts University BOSTON, MA Medford, MA 02155 PERMIT NO. 56885

NOTABLE AND QUOTABLE If we believe absurdities, we commit What is objectionable, what is dangerous Individual liberty is individual power, and atrocities. about extremists is not that they are extreme, as the power of a community is a mass —Voltaire but that they are intolerant. The evil is not compounded of individual powers. The what they say about their cause, but what they nation which enjoys the most freedom Our grief has turned to anger and anger to say about their opponents. must necessarily be, in proportion to its resolution. Whether we bring our enemies —Robert F. Kennedy numbers, the most powerful nation. to justice or bring justice to our enemies, —John Quincy Adams justice will be done. Justice without force is impotent; force without —George W. Bush justice is tyranny. We must reconcile them, Let the punishment match the offense. either by making justice stronger or force just. —Cicero Life and wealth—all these must, I say, be —Blaise Pascal defended by fighting. Death in battle is the The things that the flag stands for were most glorious for men. Who lives under the Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes created by the experiences of a great sway of his foe—it is he that is dead. evil. people. Everything that it stands for was —Panchatantra —Robert A. Heinlein written by their lives. The flag is an embodiment, not of sentiment, but of The object of war is not to die for your Cowards die many times before their deaths; history. country but to make the other bastard die The valiant never taste of death but once. —Woodrow Wilson for his. —William Shakespeare —George Patton America will find an appropriate way to Loyalty in a free society depends upon the mourn. But if we must have a shrine or Victory at all costs, victory in spite of terror, toleration of disloyalty. monument for our remorse, let’s put it on for without victory there is no survival. —Alan Barth the 200th floor, right next to the —Winston Churchill antiaircraft guns. Whatever crushes individuality is despotism, —Jonah Goldberg No man can tame a tiger into a kitten by by whatever name it may be called. stroking it. There can be no appeasement —John Stuart Mill If a man hasn’t discovered something with ruthlessness. There can be no reasoning that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live. with an incendiary bomb. Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be —Martin Luther King —Franklin D. Roosevelt purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what Martyrdom has always been a proof of the The tree of liberty must be refreshed from course others may take, but as for me, give me intensity, never the correctness, of a time to time with the blood of patriots and liberty, or give me death! belief. tyrants. —Patrick Henry —Arthur Schweitzer —Thomas Jefferson Those who expect to reap the blessing of No arsenal or weapon in the arsenals of The civilized are those who get more out of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue the world is so formidable as the will and life than the uncivilized, and for this the of supporting it. moral courage of free men and women. uncivilized have not forgiven them. —Thomas Paine —Ronald Reagan —Cyril Connolly It is fatal to enter any war without the will to War is a blessing compared with national Dead men have no victory. win it. degredation. —Euripides —Douglas MacArthur —Andrew Jackson