emerging from the shadows ELAINE LEES Emerging from the Shadows © Elaine Lees 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photo- copying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry (pbk) Author: Lees, Elaine, author. Title: Emerging from the Shadows/ Elaine Lees ISBN: 978-1-925680-82-9 (paperback) 978-1-925680-84-3 (ebook) Subjects: Non-Fiction--Biography Non-Fiction--Self-Help Techniques Published by Elaine Lees and Ocean Reeve Publishing www.elainelees.com www.oceanreeve.com Foreword magine you are a bird. IChoose any bird that you resonate with because we are going on a journey. I want you to imagine that as this bird, you are able to fly anywhere in the world, to anyone’s house and look through their window … at any moment in time. Looking through that window, you could see what they were doing, and hear what they were thinking. When they leave the house, you will fly next to them and see, hear and feel everything they go through, although they were unaware of your presence. Watching this person, feeling what they felt, you would become protective of this person when they were hurt, and your heart would break and reach out to them when you saw them alone, broken and in pain. When they slept, you would perch on the branch outside their window and reflect on what you saw, heard and felt with this person. You apply this to your own life, where you were hurt, broken and alone and feel a deep connection to this person. You would wish better things for them and hope and pray that life would get better for them, and it would! Your heart would rejoice! But it wouldn’t last as they were hurt over and over again. Then something magical happens. You begin to feel a power rising, you hear her chant, you see the connection she is making to a power that you haven’t felt in a long time. The more she speaks, the more she chants, the more she connects to her power, the more you feel your own power building to the point where you transform into the largest and most powerful version of the bird you have chosen. You look through the window and your eyes meet. She sees you, and she smiles. She then closes her eyes, reaches her arms up into the air, and transforms into something wonderfully bright and powerful. In this form she flies out into the world, into the windows of other women who are in pain and alone. They see her and smile, transforming and freeing themselves of their pain. This is how I felt when I read Elaine’s book. I was drawn into her story, into her journey and into her power. I am a male warrior in my own world. I have been through the darkness and come out the other side. I teach others how to do the same. When I read Elaine’s book I felt all those emotions that she felt and although I am a warrior, Whanau o Tumatauenga, her feminine energy awakened another power source within me: A soul deep love for the women in my family. My mum, my sister and my nana. My wife and daughter. I saw clearly the maiden, the mother and the matriarch in all that they were and were going to be. In my fatherly protective state of thinking about my young daughter, and when she goes through tough times in life, I feel a peace that this book exists for her if she needs it. This book is a Taonga, a treasure. It has the power to reach into every home to find women in pain, who feel so alone and free them. And for every man that reads it, will be reminded that a woman gave us life and that sometimes, it will take a woman to help the women in our family. Thank you Elaine, you remind us of our humanity and to see the power, beauty and resilience of the women in our families, and in our own hearts. Dion Jensen Author ‘The Worlds First Good News Book About PTSD’ Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Grandson. To a Wife, Daughter, Mother, Sister and Nana. Contents Foreword . iii Dedication . ix Acknowledgements . xi Book Cover Acknowledgement . xv Introduction . xvii My Passion and Life Purpose . xix CHAPTER 1: I Am . 1 Ancient Knowledge and Principles ........................2 Ngati Maru ki Taranaki .................................5 Honouring the Wisdom of the Maiden, the Mother and the Matriarch ...........................................10 Maiden Energy ......................................11 Mother Energy .......................................12 Matriarchal Energy ...................................13 Embracing our Female Archetypes or Aspects ...............14 CHAPTER 2: FREEDOM - my experiences, aspirations, hopes and dreams in my Maiden child and adolescent years . 15 My Whanau (Family) ..................................16 Earliest Childhood Memories ...........................17 Starting School ......................................18 My First Near-Death Experience .........................21 Moving to the City ...................................22 The Effects of Alcohol on Family Life .....................28 The Separation .......................................29 My Maiden-adolescent Experiences .......................38 My Fragmented Family ................................41 Changing Family Dynamics .............................44 My Adolescent Years with Dad ...........................46 Rebellious Times .....................................48 My First Love ........................................50 Entering the Workforce ................................51 Freedom to be Me ....................................52 Fighting for Freedom Again .............................53 CHAPTER 3: FULFILMENT - my experiences, achievements, responsibilities, burdens and sacrifices in my Mother years . .55 Combining Work and Motherhood .......................60 Seeding a New Mindset ................................63 Another Lost Dream ..................................66 Alcohol and Violence ..................................66 My Life in the Corporate World .........................71 Losing my Hero ......................................72 My Second Near-death Experience. .76 Escaping the Violence .................................79 Escaping Our Nightmare ...............................81 Repeating My Pattern of Behaviour .......................87 My Nanny and Poppa Dream ...........................89 Losing Our Beautiful Sister .............................91 A Fresh Start in Australia ...............................95 Childhood Conditioning ...............................99 The Contrast of the Corporate World ....................104 Honouring the Wisdom of our Matriarch, Our Mother .......106 Healing my Relationship with my Mother .................110 Losing our Matriarch – I Wish I Knew ...................111 The Longest Journey Home ............................112 Phoenix Rising from the Ashes ..........................118 CHAPTER 4: FORESIGHT - the knowledge, wisdom and foresight evolving in my Matriarch years . 119 Feelings of Failure ...................................123 Healing Abandonment ................................128 Healing My Inner Child ..............................130 Understanding our Dimensions .........................131 Ancient Knowledge and Principles .......................132 The Principle of Mentalism ............................133 The Principle of Correspondence ........................134 The Principle of Vibration .............................135 The Principle of Polarity ...............................136 The Principle of Rhythm ..............................137 The Principle of Cause and Effect .......................138 The Principle of Gender ...............................139 The Lost Principle (the encapsulating principle) .............139 Our Spiritual and Physical Connection ...................140 Our Spirit or Wairua (Soul, Inner Being, Higher Self) ........144 Our Internal Programming and Filters ....................147 Personal Beliefs .....................................148 Personal Values. .149 Mauri, Our Life Force Energy ..........................151 Acceptance and Allowance .............................153 Our Thoughts, Feelings, Emotions .......................153 Embracing our Female Archetypes or Aspects ..............156 Growth & Development from Child to Adult . .156 The Imprint Period ..................................157 The Modelling Period ................................157 The Socialisation Period ...............................158 Other Aspects or Energies of our Multi-Dimensional Being ....160 Accepting Help and Support ...........................161 Meditation .........................................170 Aligning to who “I Am” ...............................171 My Journey of FORESIGHT ..........................172 Self-Abuse .........................................174 Breaking Free from Self-Abuse ..........................177 Learning to Love Myself ...............................178 My Aspirations, Hopes and Dreams of my Maiden Years ......180 Key Lessons Learnt ..................................182 My Journey of Self-discovery ...........................185 Let Your Diamond Light Shine! .........................186 My Passion and Life Purpose ...........................191 Closing . 193 Glossary of Ma¯ori Words/Terms . 195 For Assistance Anywhere In Australia . 197 For Assistance And Support In New Zealand . 200 Dedication his book is dedicated to Women. Women whose life experiences Thave compelled them to want more from Life. Women who are ready to reconnect to their inner