Will Revolvtio N 'Spoil Groucho • Why Was Martha Mitchell Kid Napped?
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August, 1972 No. 93 •WILL REVOLVTIO N WHY WAS 'SPOIL MARTHA MITCHELL GROUCHO KID NAPPED? • by Paul Krassner by Mae Brussell , What follows was originally read on Sunday night, the 4th of My research on political assassinations, election manipula- July, last year while I was anchor man at KSF,Y in San Francisco tions and clandestine governments is not political. Democrats for the broadcasting of the final Fillmore concert; it was heard as well as Republicans contribute to murdering and concealing ,simultaneously on Steve Post's show over WBAI in New York. their crimes. (Continued on Page 2) (Continued on Page 27) Well, fm "an alleged comedian" too. Kill Nixon! Editorial Giggy Trips In fact, rm officially an alleged comedian. At the Chicago Conspiracy Trial, Prosecutor Thomas Foran said in his sum- mation to the jury: "Are we going to be conned into believing that . you are only a good guy if you think Paul Krassner is This Is Another Pre-Anniversary Issue funny?" •A patient subscriber has compiled an embarrassing list of my Presumably, I won't be prosecuted for breaking a law which is broken editorial promises over the past four years: based on the assumption that people can't be trusted to make their •"The -10th Anniversary Issue of The Realist will be out in June own decisions. [1968]." • That's why Richard Nixon had to tell us that Charles Manson "This was supposed to be the 10th Anniversary Issue, but that's was guilty — so we wouldn't notice that they're actually the same been postponed . ." person. Have you ever seen President Nixon and Charlie Man- "The Realist's 10th Anniversary issue ... will be out in late son together? Of course not. Have you ever seen Lieutenant October." Calley and Patricia Krenwinkel together? Aha! • "Yes, I know this was suppoSed to be the 10th Anniversary Is- All Nixon was saying is that Manson was guilty of not having a sue . it will be published in mid-February [1969]." Government permit. "Hey, look, that pre-touted 10th Anniversary Issue isn't a put- What I mean is, on the TV news today, the newscaster started to on, really . I promise it will be out during April." say, "According to the Taiwan News Service," and then suddenly "No, goddammit, this isn't the 40th Anniversary Issue on came this film clip promoting The Wonderful World of either' . it will be out in late October." - Disney. "In the summer of 1968 the 10th Anniversary Issue of The Real- And the newscaster made no reference to it. ist was supposed to be published. Now here it is the summer of Isn't it reassuring to know that you weren't the only one who 1970 . but the 12th Anniversary Issue will have been worth saw that? waiting for." . , .„ • • But the direction was clear. "This is still anOthei pre-anniversary issue . but the 13th. First there was a soldier saying, "If the Army goes down, the Anniversary Issue should be ready in Spring 1971." United States goes down." "This summer, the legendary-behihd-its-time 13th Anniver- Hmmntim. sary Issue . ." Then Martha Mitchell was quoted as saying that the news- "The 13th Anniversary Issue . .• . will be finished in time to papers will have to be suppressed. Does anyone suppose that her celebrate the annual [1971] Christmas boycott." husband, the Attorney General of the United States, is surprised "The next issue, No. 93, will celebrate our 13th Anniversary at this turn of events? during, appropriately enough, our 14th year of publication. It will Obviously, Henry Kissinger told Richard Nixon who told John feature The Parts Left Out of the Manson Book, a subject which Mitchell who told Martha what to say. I'm sorry, Women's Lib- I've been investigating obsessively for the past few months. It's eration, but I do believe that. It's the ultimate soap opera. What probably the most important piece I've ever written." I went on to did you think they do at night instead of balling? They discuss say that "my journalistic and psychic priority is the story behind which trial balloon Martha Mitchell will next leak to the press. the spoon-fed image we've all gotten of the Charles Manson case." - And then — oh, yes — the Newport Festival was cancelled. But But getting this issue out superceded that priority. Besides, before we could feel.too sorry for ourselves, there came the plight there has been more material to gather on the case than I'd first of the Menominee Indians. suspected. Book-length, it'll cost non-subscribers SI. Why can't the money we might have spent on a new record al- So ,then: Unless I- get a job with the Administration promising bum be a tax on ourselves instead, for the things we believe in? I'd they'll get out of Vietnam soon, the 13th Anniversary Issue of The like to propose that the funds of the Whole Earth Catalog be used Realist will be published before the end, of summer [1972], fea- to incorporate a separate tax system, to be spent for the cele- turing The Parts Left Out of the Manson Book. bration of survival. What originally started out in 1968 to be the anniversary issue What really frightens people in power is the sense of joy has been developing into a struggle between false humility and an permeating our music. We are an insidious pelvic movement, urge to share my bizarre search, in the form of an autobiography , plotting to kill the Nixon within ourselves. to be called The Truth Is Silly Putty, which I'll return to, along And be sure to tell 'em — Groucho sentcha. • with my novel and screenplay, but only after the 13th Anniver- sary Issue is published. Of course I could've called 7- arbitrarily — this issue the 13th Anniversary Issue, but that'd really be ridiculous. The Realist is published every other month by the Realist As- A Few Words About Saint Mae sociation, a non-profit corporation. Mae Brussell is an extraordinary human being. Circulation Department: The Realist, Box 379, Stuyvesant Sta., Back in November, 1963, she was just a regular housewife with New York, N.Y. 10009 five kids. Like the rest of us, she was stunned by the assassination of President Kennedy. Editor and Zen Bastard: Paul Krassner, 1772 Vallejo St., San Her daughter, Bonnie, then 7 years old, was concerned about Francisco, Calif. 94123 Lee Harvey Oswald, and decided to send him her teddy bear. It was all wrapped up and ready to mail when she saw him mur- Subscription rates: S3 a year; S5 for two years dered by Jack Ruby on television that Sunday morning. Mae couldn't help but wonder: What kind of world are we Second-class postage paid at New York, N.Y. bringing our children into? That basic question is what inspired the initiation of a project, her dedication to which is now in its Page 3 Realist ninth year. ' Ironically, Norris industries, Inc.., which Forbes magazine s She reads 8 newspapers a day. She has carefully digested over "may well be the biggest corporate beneficiary of the Viet* 300 books on espionage and related subjects. She has cross-ref- War," is also the number one supplier of residential locks in No erenced the entire 26 volumes of the Warren Commission Re- America. port. Her files are incredible. And, whereas the Baldwin Company (Baldwin, Gretsch mi The evidence, once you really get into it, is overwhelming: The cal instruments, Central Bank and Trust Co., Empire Savin facts are there. The connections become obvious. The conclusion ordinarily competes with the Wurlitzer Company (Martin, W is undeniable: When John F. Kennedy was shot in Dallas, the litzer musical instruments, phonographs and jukeboxes), t1 United States Government was taken over. cooperate on 2.75-inch rockets: Baldwin loads, assembles 1 Did you think that an elaborate plot to kill a President was sim- packs their motors; Wurlitzer provides the power supply for tl ply in order to get Lyndon Johnson into office? Can you imagine XM429 electronic proximity fuses. him quitting that job on April Fool's Day Eve in 1968 volun- Rolling Stone paid me $75 for the article but never published tarily? . That was the end of that column. For the past year, Mae Brussell has had a radio program called From April through October 1971, 1 had my own radio sh Dialogue: Assassination on KLRB in Carmel. An hour a week of on KSFX, the American Broadcasting Company's FM statioi dandy documentation, it's the furthest out show being broad- San Francisco. 1 was fired because it was decided to change cast today. format from free-form to pre-programmed. Disc jockeys could The repression in this country has been increasing; yet, in de- longer select the records they played. When the new station m voting herself to research of political assassinations, Mae's phil- ager George Yarhaes fired Eric Christensen, he explained: "" osophy has remained optimistic: "There are higher values than job of program director is not a creative one any more, but tha power and force. Honesty and compassion are stronger than being a traffic cop." weapons." . National Lampoon asked me to do a monthly column. Her She is some kind of saint, and truthseeking is her discipline. few paragraphs from the first piece I submitted: Knowing her, I've undergone a religious conversion: from believ- "While it might not surprise the Daniel Ellsbergs among us 1 ing in Coincidence to believing in Conspiracy. the Defense Department has been carefully studying ant.wan And so, this is to announce a new periodical I'm going to pub- as a microcosm of pacification procedures in Southeast Asia, a lish, in addition to The Realist: Mae Brussell's.