The 116th Edition Agiot Goodnight Corfu This Month Jaywalker. Weather. Cover Photo. Page 10 Page 18 Page 1 Nick the Clock’s World. Video Corner. Letters to the Editor. Pages 11-12 Page 2 Page 18 The Way Things Were. Gooner’s Gags Page 13 Hilary’s Ramblings. Pages 3-4 Pages 19-20 Bespoke Property. An Englishman in Italy. Page 13 Simon’s World. Page 5 Page 20 OCAY Villas. Village and Island News. Page 14 Nature. Pages 5-8 Pages 21-22 Testimonials for Villa Theodora. At the Casino. Pages 14-15 Advertising. Page 9 Pages 23-24 Agiotfest 2017. Manchester. Pages 16-17 An article by David Orkin. Page 10 Pages 25-26 Aunty Lula’s Love-Bites. Page 18 A young girl is ill in hospital and she posted this lesson Letters to the Editor for all of us:- From Brooke Stevens, Essex Dave Dickinson mailed in from Colchester, in response to the inclusion of his ‘Dickinson’s ‘I look far too happy stood Challenge’ from last month in the garden... but I'm enjoying the sunshine!’ ‘Works well !! I think some of the answers could be hilarious – withering – scandalous – libelous. Love to “Be the reason someone see them XX’ smiles. Be the reason someone Ed:- Thank you for this Dave. As much as I love our feels loved and believes in readership, and I do, you may be over-rating them. the goodness in people.” Fine people as they indubitably are, they are mostly a lazy bunch when it comes to things of this nature. This is my 6th cycle of chemo & I'm not going to lie, I'm So, don’t hold your breath for an avalanche of feeling it. responses. But your competition will be read and It seems that with every cycle I have, I tend to feel a little enjoyed, just the same, I have little doubt on that worse. score! But it's important & it's saving my life. This is my pomb so hopefully I'll be going home Dave Dickinson responded;- Saturday after blood transfusions, as it's a 4 day chemo my body retains the fluid & just makes me feel blahh. Hello Ed., Today I've done Dreams proud & I've slept for 18 hours It might be that all it ever achieves is that it keeps the in the past 24 hours (obviously waking up for toilet Agiofest on the boil. breaks every 45minutes...) The doctors are arranging for me to have some scans to Ed:- Bravo Dave! review the tumours which is amazing & shows the progress. Today I was sat in bed (for the short amount of time I Editor’s Comment; was awake) & I was thinking about my life since December, how much it has changed, how much I have changed. I was looking out of my window at a gorgeous Dickinson’s challenge was too tough for you all last view of London & i couldn't help but smile at how month! We introduce a gentle Italian perspective for beautiful life actually is. The people, the places & the June, Jaywalker and a look back to the heady days of experiences that this world has to offer. Enjoy life, jump the Corfu Casino! at opportunities & most importantly, be happy. I have met some of the most amazing people whilst being on this ward & my perspective of life has changed forever. Embrace every moment, laugh till your sides hurt, love yourself & always remember to smile. Life is a blessing & you are blessed ♥️ Ed:- This letter leaves me speechless-for all the right reasons. Gooners Gags THE ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. 3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw 1 and 2 are easy, 5 IS AMAZING. it away? IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN 4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He Friday, or Sunday? has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns and 5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious the third is full of lions that haven't eaten as to just how quickly you can find out in 3 years. what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think Which room is safest for him? nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly 2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she unusual though. Study it and think about it, holds him under water for over 5 minutes. but you still may not find anything odd. But Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later if you work at it a bit, you might find out. they both go out together and enjoy a Try to do so without any coaching! wonderful dinner together. How can this be? Answers: 1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right? 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung). 3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing. 4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow! 5. The letter "e" which is the most common letter used in the English language does not ap- pear even once in the paragraph. DOMINO SOLDIERS; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UUFP64wAIk How did that Crow do that??.....This bird is remarka- ble!!! Crows are known to be smart birds. Inside the Animal Mind....Open full screen to watch with your speakers on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVaITA7eBZE Continued on Page 4 Gooners Gags - Continued from Page 3 We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said in capital letters, My wife and I went to the Youngstown Agricultural Fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR' ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn My wife playfully nudged something from this one.' me in the ribs ....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.' I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow...' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, ''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's almost 3 times a week! .........You could learn a lot from him.' For you who need to know ****************************** Samsung, Intel and Toyota , everything: Venus is the only planet in that order. that rotates clockwise. ****************************** * ****************************** (Since Venus is normally associated It IS possible to lead a cow upstairs ... The liquid inside young coconuts with women, what does this tell you? but, NOT downstairs. can be used as a substitute That women are going ****************************** ** for Blood Plasma. in the 'right' direction...! A duck's quack doesn't echo, ****************************** ****************************** ** and no one knows why. No piece of paper can be folded Apples, not caffeine, ****************************** ** in half more than seven (7) times. are more efficient at Dentists have recommended that Oh , go ahead ... I'll wait. waking you up in the morning ... a toothbrush be kept at least Six (6) feet ****************************** * away Donkeys kill more people annually ****************************** ** from a toilet to avoid airborne particles than plane crashes or shark attacks. Most dust particles in your house resulting from the flush. (So, watch your Ass ) are made from (I keep my toothbrush ****************************** ** DEAD SKIN ! in the living room now!) You burn more calories sleeping! ****************************** ** ****************************** ** than you do watching television. The first owner of the And the best for last.....! ****************************** * Marlboro Company Oak trees doNOT died of lung cancer. Turtles can breathe through their produce acorns until they are So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. BUTTS! fifty (50) years of age or older. ****************************** ** ****************************** Walt Disney was afraid The first product to have a bar code OF MICE! (I know some people like that, was Wrigley's gum. ****************************** don't YOU?) ****************************** ******** So........................ The King of Hearts PEARLS DISSOLVE is the only King IN VINEGAR! WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE Remember, knowledge is everything, ****************************** ** so pass it on...... ****************************** The ten most valuable American Airlines saved $40,000 brand names on earth: and go move your toothbrush! in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive Apple, Coca Cola, Google, And stop folding that from each salad served in first-class. IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds, DAMN PAPER! unclipping, often in extremely public places, such as standing waiting in an airport queue, or while rising An Englishman in Italy from the opera stalls at the interval, or even worse, as the bride’s father, you have to proceed with the groom’s mother from the church! Such public Brace Yourselves embarrassments are well known, and can be laughed about, while comforted with liquid lubrication; But An Englishman with a Dutch woman in Italy and there are many private moments when a man stands sometimes Corfu, found that, aged seventy three, his transfixed, attempting to clip the serrated edge of his belt no longer held his bottom up. He was informed posterior braces to belt or trousers, and finds them of this, in no uncertain terms, as sliding belts snapping open as soon as attached.