Let's All Stop Pretending We're Shocked About Bill Cosby's Bad Behavior Cosby's Role As Fatherly and Lovable Dr

1 Let's all stop pretending we're shocked about Bill Cosby's bad behavior Cosby's role as fatherly and lovable Dr. Huxtable on NBC hit sitcom is all one sick act NEW YORK DAILY NEWS Sunday, November 23, 2014, 2:01 AM Closeup: Comfortable examining room. Kindly doctor is administering to a weeping woman. The feeling is one of confidence and assurance. We are in good hands. Cut to doctor: He looks into the camera, smiling with authority. That’s when the viewer sees that, why, it’s kindly Dr. Cliff Huxtable! Doc Huxtable looks into the camera and says: I play a doctor on TV, but in real life I’m a mad rapist. What? You don’t think that commercial would fly? Yes, yes, I know that Bill Cosby only played Dr. Huxtable on TV, but for those of us who couldn’t get enough of the curmudgeonly character, Cosby is the safe and loving father/husband/doctor of everyone’s fantasies. He’s the father you wanted cutting your Thanksgiving turkey, and the doctor you wanted administering aspirin to your child. It’s tough to accept that — wait! — he’s not that guy? No, he’s the other guy — the one who is the antithesis of Dr. Huxtable. But let’s stop pretending that we’re shocked. Remember back in 1997, when 22-year-old Autumn Jackson claimed she was Cosby’s daughter? He admitted to an affair with her mother, but it was Jackson who went to jail for extortion. (The verdict was overturned.) Despite having paid support payments, America’s Dad told his “daughter” that “I will be for you a father figure, but I am not your father.” 2 I would have extorted the bastard too! Then, in 2006, Cosby got nailed again. Andrea Constand claimed that Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted her. Thirteen female witnesses with stories similar to Constand’s came forward. The more things change, the more they don’t. Deals were made, settlements were reached, Cosby’s life went on as usual, even if the victims’ lives would never be the same. Why weren’t criminal charges pressed? Right. Do you remember the story of Jordan Chandler, the first child to come forward in the Michael Jackson case? I do because I was the first one to learn of the story from Jordie’s uncle. Jackson was to music what Cosby was to TV. It didn’t get bigger. Despite a huge settlement, Chandler’s family was destroyed. His father Evan’s dental practice was ruined, they went into hiding, and eventually Evan killed himself. That’s what happened to people who reported abuse by powerful stars back then. Jackson’s family stood by him — the gravy boat is a tough ride to jump from without drowning. Look at Bill’s gracious wife, Camille. Why? Because in the end, the powerful always win. Right? No. Now, we have social media and finally the playing field is level. The powerful are as vulnerable as the victims. The arsenal is a viral video or accusation — the 21st century way of storming the Bastille to retake power. JEN’S END WAS A START It used to be that celebrity women feared their naughty nudie pix would one day surface to ruin their careers, not to mention their lives. Now, they live in fear that someone else’s naughty nudie pix will get more attention than theirs. Jennifer Aniston is promoting her new movie “Cake” by telling reporters that her naked butt was famous before Kim Kardashian ever uncovered her big asset. 3 “I was an original. Sorry, Kim K.,” Anniston joked, or maybe not joked. That being said, the Rolling Stone Aniston cover came out in 1996, before there was much social media with which to break the Internet. So Jen, don’t break your ass worrying about whether enough people saw your naked butt. They did, they remember it, they love it. Good? LIBERTY EASIER FOR RICH If you are aghast and angry at President Obama’s order to not deport noncriminal undocumented immigrants who have been here since 2011 then perhaps your family has been here before everyone else and is Native American, or maybe they are the new immigrants who buy U.S. residency by investing $500,000 in an American-based business. Or perhaps you’re a pampered, pregnant Chinese wife who has moved into a luxury California “maternity hotel” until your baby is born so he/she can have dual citizenship. Yes, the rich can buy their way in, while people like your ancestors stay out. Forget “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Why don’t we just make it: “Give me your rested, your rich, your pampered masses paying to be free.” SHARP AS TAX How do you make a multimillion-dollar tax problem go away? If you’re Al Sharpton (right), you do it by holding a press conference to announce that you are not the father of Rachel Noerdlinger’s son, that’s how. Suddenly, everybody stops talking about the tax problem and starts talking about something that nobody was talking or thinking about in the first place. I want to stop paying my taxes too. I hereby formally announce that I am not carrying George Clooney’s love child. KYLIE KEEPS TIGHT-LIPPED Kylie Jenner won’t admit that her lips, which are now larger than her head, are the result of plastic surgery. The larger-than-life lips are perhaps just an 4 allergic reaction to strawberries. And her dad is now her mom only because of a bit of bad luck. A ROYAL PAIN Buckingham Palace has issued a reminder to U.S. reporter-slobs that if we want credentials to cover the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (Kate and whazzizname) then we better dress the part. Handlers of William and Kate want reporters in the field to dress like they’re going inside to dine with them? Note to Buckingham Palace: Why do you exist? Reporters work — we don’t cut ribbons at openings for a living or get honored nightly for accomplishing nothing more than procreating. 5 STASI: Rachel Noerdlinger is another smart woman who makes idiotic choices Bill de Blasio’s best two days in office turn into a hatefest, Uber’s senior vice president went on a rant about reporters, and Will Smith and Jada Pinkett’s two children sound like two spoiled space aliens from one of their dad’s sci-fi movies. NEW YORK DAILY NEWS Wednesday, November 19, 2014, 1:11 AM It's not her men, it's the media. Rachel Noerdlinger, Chirlane McCray's $170,000 chief of staff, now on leave, is so blinded by the males in her life — from her killer boyfriend to her troubled son, to her mentor ex-boss Al Sharpton — that she's blaming the media for her son's troubles instead of herself. Once again, we have an extreme case of smart woman, idiotic choices. How does a woman as successful as Noerdlinger allow a man as horrifying as career criminal, convicted killer, cop-hater and blatant racist Hassaun McFarlan to share a home with herself and her son? She does this by putting the lowlife boyfriend before everything and everyone, that's how. She keeps McFarlan — who posts illiterate anti- woman, homophobic rants such as "i feel the same way ma if a broad try that s--- with me she gettin curbed i think dudes who like that s--- are in the closet watch these dudes" — as her man despite it all. But in whose footsteps is her son now following — his mother's or her gigolo's? But Noerdlinger isn't the first, nor will she be the last smart woman to go stupid over a man; to stand by a man who is not a stand-up guy. Clue: There's a big difference between a bad boy and a bad man. 6 SMART WOMEN MAKING DUMB CHOICES ALL-STARS Lifetime Achievement Award: Hillary Clinton Stood by her man even when her man had legions of women kneeling at his, er, feet. Most Likely to Earn a Lifetime Achievement Award: Huma Abedin Taking a cue from her boss — mentioned above — Huma stayed when politician and husband Anthony Weiner tweeted out naked pictures of himself. And when he did it again, ooops, she did it again, too. My Picker's Broken Award: Halle Berry The self-named award is for the woman who loved abusers and cheaters. On what planet can a man find someone hotter than Halle Berry? What Were You Thinking Award: Sandra Bullock Smart, insanely successful and gorgeous, she married a cheating motorcycle reality star named for an infamous criminal. Worse, Jesse James is now married to, yes, an heiress. Oh Right You Weren't Thinking Award: Lis Smith Smart, beautiful, and idiotic, the political operative for Bill de Blasio's mayoral campaign hooked up with the Luv Guv, Eliot Spitzer, and was then not hired by de Blasio. De Blasio thinks Spitzer is so bad, he'd rather keep on a woman whose boyfriend is a killer than hire a woman whose boyfriend is a hooker lover. Even a Spy Can Be an Idiot Award: "Homeland's" Carrie Mathison Bi-polar and bi-continental, Carrie lost it and then almost lost it all for a man who looked like Doogie Howser gone bad. NO BLAZ OF GLORY ON AIDE It's impossible to understand how staffers let Bill de Blasio take even the best two days of his administration and turn them into a controversial hatefest.

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