THECORD WEEKLY WilfridLaurier University Waterloo, Ontario Thursday, March 18, 1982 Volume 22 Number 20 Speaker says he can change Country in Fifteen Months Hellyer can beat Inflation by Jerry Zeidenberg but is concerned with the big unions Canada and the U.S. have been and corporations" which dominate, waging war against inflation for the economy. years, but their weapons just don't He would like to see the seem to work. Monetarism and government negotiate with the supply-side economics, MacEachen unions, gaining from them an andReagan's prized guided missiles, agreement to limit their wage have turned out to be duds. Prices demands. Wage increases, Hellyer continue to soar and we're not able said, should be no more than the to do anything about it. increase in the nation's economic However, last Thursday, a "man productivity. This way, there would appeared on campus with a newand not be 'too much purchasing too few original plan that could have goods', an inflationary situation inflation whipped in 15 months. which forces prices up. Paul Hellyer addressed a crowd Also, Hellyer said that the profits of about 50 attentive students, made by big corporations must be professors, and area residents in the controlled. Legislation of this sort Paul Martin Centre, telling them "If would ensure that individual we do in this country what I'm companies would not raise the prices suggesting, in a year you wouldn't ofgoods withoutjustcause. It would know it was the same country." also act as an anti-combines law, He said prices would remain preventing corporations from giving steady, "about 400,000 fewer people a nod or a wink to each other and would be out of work, and the. then collectively raising theirprices. economy would be growing." Both labour and investors would Hellyer, a former Liberal cabinet benefit from the two-part plan, minister who resigned from the Hellyer exclaimed. With a low rate party and later joined the of inflation, it would become Progressive Conservatives, profitable to invest in industry and the symptons ofinflation, explained business once again. And when this its cause, and prescribed a cure. occurs, growth will take place with According to Hellyer, inflation is more jobs becoming available. the result of wage increases. Every "Everybody wins, and nobody time unions make a gain in wages, loses," Hellyer beamed. corporations raise the price of the Hellyer said thwe is "over- goods they produce to compensate whelming support" for his ideas. He themselves. has appeared across Canada on To illustrate this point, he said television and radio hotlines, and that during a 7 year period in the said he has received an immense 1950'5,~wages increased by 3% and amount of public approval. Hellyer inflation stood at about 2%. In a also seemed to gain the approval of later 7 year period when wages the audience at Laurier. Only one increased by 12%, the inflation rate person, Dr. Redekop of the cases Department was also 12%. In both the two Political Science Hellyer (right) in a lighter moment In his discussion of inflation, pic by Jerry rates just about match, and no large expressed scepticism over Hellyer's Zeidenberg gain was made by labour. ideas. people in Ottawa and Washington leadership in housing field. To control the 'leap-frog' effect of His supporters include Dennis industrial or business ventures, the where labour and operating are abusing their power by not In 1972, Hellyer joined the wage increases followed by rising McDermott, leader ofthe Canadian costs looking for radical solutions to Progressive Conservative party, and prices, Hellyer called for a Labour Congress. rise continuously and proftis inflation." was defeated in a run for the party "Draconian solution." Organized labour knows, Hellyer become marginal. Investors are finding if safer to place money Paul Hellyer's political career The former politician, who said, "that it is better to have a 2% their in bank, they-earn began in 1949,and since then he has leadership in 1976. He is currently a looked like a cautious businessman, (wage) raise with no inflation than a the where a sure The result this has on the held senior cabinet posts under syndicated* columnist for the but sounded like some kind of raise with 10% inflation". 16%. 10% however, prime ministers St. Laurent, Toronto Sun, and just published inspired prophet, proposed a two- When asked why the Canadian economy, is high Pearson, and Trudeau. He resigned a book called Exit Inflation which part program. In the first phase, isn't making use of his unemployment and low growth. government from the federal Liberal cabinet in outlines his anti-inflation program wages andprices would befrozen for clear, solution, Hellyer In closing, He said "It doesn't rational 1969 on a matter of principle in detail. a 15 month period. Very few replied that "politicians are so busy matter what caused inflation. It now you've got to stop regarding the party's lack of increases would be permitted, and they don't have time for clear exists and it. The "at the end of 15 months, inflation thinking." should be close to zero", Hellyer In addition, he said that said. "although we say the human mind is King St. Residence Gone He then approached the more flexible, it is difficult to getpeople to innovative part of his program. change their ways, You just have to by The owners ofthis want September 1982, "After implementing wage and keep working on them." Blaine Connolly residence all agreements will The St. residence is no an increase of at least 20% and be between the student and price controls, you could bring At the beginning of his address, King directly of the university possibly as high as 25%; this would the owners. down interest rates", he said. Hellyer briefly outlined some of the longer part put a single occupancy at $1445 Investors would not suddenly rush effects that the present, staggering, residence housing department. The The rents will go up next year but their money down to U.S. banks, on reason is one which we are all and a double occupancy at $1321. the level of increase is as of yet rate of inflation is having university where interest rates would remain familiar with: money. Compared to the levels tentative. It will most likely be a people's lives.. (82/83) of $1330 and $1215. for high. He argued that capital would asking the members of the 1 his residence is not a formal part minimum of 20%. This does not deter After double occupancy, the difference stay in the country because the low planned own a of the housing department but the owners as they are confident the audience if they to becomes quite large. The owners rate of inflation would make house someday, he warned them existed within an informal rooms will still be filled. between the claim the increase is required to Canadian industry very profitable, that they should not expect to do so. agreement university As of September, the housing office and the owners of the building. offset the rising mortgage and and investment would then be Hellyer said that if we make a will no longer have the building on According to Mike Belanger of the operating expenses. The housing forecast based on the 1980 rate of direct referrel. This building will worthwhile. office, 'the lack of a legal department could appreciate some Furthermore, with low interest inflation (10 1/4%), the price "Of housing remain on the list of available offerr,ed a flexible increases but not at 20%-25%. rates, people would no longer be in an average house MetroToronto contract housing but students will be made in university There are certain functions the danger of iosing their homes, will be more than $500,000 by the arrangement' where the aware of the cost of living in the ifif felt it university is willing to perform businesses, or farms, Hellyer year 2000, a well beyond the could easily withdraw that building. sum within the present agreement. They commented. of most Canadians. was no in the students' best reach will guarantee the rooms are filled in According to Mike Belanger, this After 15 months, wage and price Moreover, he asserted that the interests. That time is now. the school year (fall and winter residence will still be able to fill their controls would be lifted, and 'phase room will face grave The cost of on-residence is going students in the terms).They also supply the dons for rooms regardless of the proposed of the program would be put finding jobs, due to the up next year in the neighbourhood two" difficulties the residence and assume increases. He claims, however, that into effect. stagnating effect inflation has oh the of 17% (including the meal plan). this is disciplinary actions for any "there comes a point where it is This second phase, Hellyer economy. He stressed at various Obviously, due'to overhead malicious damage which occurs. difficult for the university to explained, applies to only one-half points in his address that a high rate and labour increases. The problems started when the amount of the This will no longer be done by the condone it." With that, the King St. of our economy. It doesn't involve of inflation discourages investors increase on King St. was discussed. housing office next year. As of residence is now out on its own. the "free side, the little companies from putting their money into 18,1982 2 The Cord Weekly. Thursday, March THE CORDWEEKLY

TheXord Weekly is published by Student Publication* of Wilfrid Laurier University. Editorial opinions are independent of the University, WLUSU, and Student Publications. The Cordreserves the right to edit all articles and letters submitted to it. The Cord is a member of the Canadian University Press cooperative.

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E 893-1900 U t J The World Mud Wrestling Champions\ I CHICAGO | 1 KNOCKERS | mTues & Wed.. Mar 23&24 -18 Beautiful Girls* ■fl You naun f seen knockers until you've seen the w4 Tickets $4 in advance $6 at the door Ed j SPECIAL ORDERS GIVEN PROMPT ATTENTION j 2 Redeem this coupon for$1.00 discountoff any $10.00purchase i The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18.1982 3 Labatts more than Beer Ontario sits on Report by JeffSpeed process. Last Friday, Peter Widdrington There is room in this company for of Labatt's Breweries outlined to university grads but not at the top. (CUPV-The Ontario we are aware of-the high level of the middle-class", and the TORONTO Laurier students the To be successful, the Ministry of Colleges and in the report and want a government doesn't have "anything encompassing student would Universities interest size of this company as he have to in on a broad and wide to show for its efforts on making explored start the lower portions has been accused of sitting distribution the various segments of and work their discussion." more accessible^" its recent way up through the study which says that government universites performance. OFS researcher, said company ranks. One can efforts to make universities Ross Parry, an understand He said the government had why Widdrington accessible to the poor have failed. that if theministry wantedto release Peter Widdrington is the chief this "failed and failed miserably believes when he started as a the report much sooner, it could. to executive officer of this Canadian salesman in the The Ontario Federation of encourage participation from lower- bar circuit. has seen copies ofthe company as well as chairman of the Students (OFS). has charged the Parry report income families." government is burying the report authored by Paul Anisef, a York board of Canada Trust. He is also Labatts is attempting to get into because it would reflect poorly on University sociologist, and The report, said Parry, the board of directors of Brascan scientifically related industries while recent government moves to described it as "excellent".'He said recommends that to increase International. continuing to emphasize its base in increase tuition and an unexpected the report demonstrates that the accessibility, special education its food related industries. company announcement about changes to the proportion of poor people going to programs should be started This is much largerthan in As with Ontario student aid program. university has remained stable over elementary school for the most people rfealize. Aside from the all companies, the past decade, largely because the economically disadvantaged, since production of beer, they also own Widdrington believed that Carolyn Barret, a university affairs only encouragement the govern- middle and upper class children Catelli, Laura Secord, Brights, government was becoming Sealtest, officer at the ministry, said the ment has given is throughits student receive encouragement in their the Blue Jays, Chefs detrimental to the market system. report was "not gathering dust on aid program. studies from their families. Francisco and part ownership in Only private industries could create her (Ministry of Colleges and Red Path. new jobs and government Universities, Bette Stephenson) The report said that students make As well, summer learningprograms intervention could only cause desk." Barret said the report the decision to go to university and a registered education savings With all these companies, one can further problems. completed at the end of January, before they get to the point where plan should be instituted. understand how this firm accomplished must be edited before it can be they can take advantage of student a 2 billion dollar Obviously, this company is more aid. The environment Anisef also the level last released. Stephenson has not seen family is suggested profit year. Widdrington than just a brewery; It is extremely the report yet. probably the major determinant in government develop a specialfamily was quick to point out that 56% of diversified and manages to retain the decison to go to university. allowance scheme to pay for post- this amount came from those growth when the economy Parry said entire is "We'd like to get it out before the report proved that secondary education. companies unrelated to the brewing in a down turn. classes end," said Barret, "because universities are "overwhelmed by Results 82 Grad Elections Introducing your 1982graduation weekend and to discuss the fund committee: raising which will take place on Grad Day, April Ist. Honorary President GlennCarroll The tentative agenda for the President Steve Wilkie meeting is as follows:

Vice President Wendy Boyd 1. Talk about Grad Day and the purpose of the fund raising. Secretary Donna Pulcine 2. Generate ideas concerning the Treasurer Greg Garrison application of the funds raised.

Your graduation committee is 3. Inform students about the grad now working to make the grad weekend so they can make plans weekend a big success.- with their families and friends. A general meeting for all 1982 4. Question and feedback session. graduates is scheduled for Tuesday, The success of the graduation March 23 at 12:30 in room TEL All weekend will be highly dependent on graduates from all faculties are the degree of enthusiasm and encouraged to attend. involvement of the grads. With your help we will make sure The purpose of the meeting is to that Laurier remembers the class of increase awareness of the grad '82. Let's show some spirit!

Laurier's 1982 Grad Committee, (left to right) Steve Wilkie, Donna Pulcine, Greg OFFCAM Garrison, Wendy Boyd, and Glenn Carroi. Reagan sends Executives Elected 'Dear God' Letter Election results are as follows: 1982to March 31st 1982. (RNR/CUP) - When U.S. president Year Ronald Reagan needs help, he's not Tamiae has Great Greg Tees HB 2 Your new OFFCAM executive is President: shy about asking for it. GA currently planning activities for next To all Members: thank everyone would be Vice President: Nick Saldaris 2 Reverend To year, including some Orientation Just check with the endless but certain people deserve and Shinerama activities. It is still Dayle Daugherty on Long Island, special attention. I wish to thank my Board of Directors: a letter signed by Before ourterm in officeis over, I not too late to get involved; there is who received new executive, Dave Huxtable, Reagan, addressed to "Dear Mr. would like to tell everyone what has Rita Bloem HB 1 64% always room for new ideas. If you happened within Tamaie this year. Nancy Wilson, Dan Stuart, Mike Yvonne Zagaja HB 2 have any positive suggestions or God." Mullen, and especially the student 64% The letter for a $120 Mia Dutka 2 helpful hints for OFFCAM next asked This year Tamaie followed two for supporting our activities. HB 61% contribution .body Carol Stoffelsen HB 2 61% year, then we would like to hear to keep Republican different strategies: internal arid me," the Suzanne Dudack HB 1 55% from you. Our weekly meetings will senators in office. "Believe external. The first half of the year The challenges we faced and the letter reads, "I'm asking Joann Henderson GA 1 continue to be held on Wednesday not was spent restructuring the successes achieved has provided 50% one... only proud, flag-wavine Alison Mcßratney HB 1 afternoons form 1:30 2:30 p.m. every organization as to overcome a myselfand Dave with memories that 39% - are until April 7th 1982. Please drop by Americans like you who I know sizeable deficit from last year. This will be withuslongafter graduation. to sacrifice to keep our our office during our office hours or wining was successful inadditionto holding To the new Tamaie executive, the nation strong." The effective term of the new to 3-313 in the CTB on any such traditional Tamaie events 1best for 82-83. offer little as' run Wednesday afternoon. Daugherty said he'll "a i Casino Night, the golf tourney, the executive will from April Ist prayer" president's policies that the car pub rally, football blitzes and a his mailing list work better than rowdy girls staggette. computer. Bacchus Rates Wines This term Tamaie followed the strategy designed to BACCHUS, the newly history ofthe Ontario wine industry, external formed promote the club name and service on campusfor the how and why Ontario's promotion explaining these activities of responsible drinking reputation for table wines has Among habits, were theBiz bashes (to start the new sponsored a formal wine testing graduated from "disgusting" to that year off), a very successful Talent sitting last Tuesday night of being competitive with the in Clara Night, the revived monopoly Conrad Lounge. Concern for imports. The problem with Ontario the wanted unforgettable wine's bouquet and wines in the past was the type of tournament and an taste date submissions to' men's stag. Finishing off this term deteriorated rapidly, grape Concord. Concord for however, in an used-the will be our annual formal on March inverse relationship to the number grapes are suitablefor making sweet c Cords Art s suppliment ■st 26th culminating this year's work. of wines tested. All of the wines wines such as ports and sherriesbut is tomorrow. Please bring in tested were made here inOntario but have too strong a flavour for dry all your prize-winning is growing Although this organization is not nevertheless were very good. wines. Now that Ontario photos, short stories, poems Flannigan, the same varieties used by wineries recognized by WLSU, Tamaie does Steve Wilkie Karen arepresentative oranything creative. Winners of the Wine Council of Ontario, in France and Germany, its wines provide an important element to President began the evening with a brief are becoming more popular. will be oublished in next Laurier's social events. week's paper. 18,1982 4 The Cord Weekly. Thursday, March Question of the Week by Lynn Barrett "Where do you plan to be in five years?"

Janet Daley Tee Ooi Honours Sociology 2nd year Science . . „ I'll be in Malaysia, hopefully Sitting here wondering where the . in the working with the government past five years went. field of Marine Biology. ______

John Groen Joe Willis Economics Honours Environmental Studies, 3rd 3rd Year General Year "Probably right here." Hopefully teaching for the Mennoriite Central Committee in some underdeveloped country. Don Kennedy Lorianne Glassford 2ndyear Economics Ist year GeneralArts Hopefully working in Northern "Hopefully working with the Ontario for the government and government in the field of Social possibly attaining a higher level of Work, making good money." education. (Masters) The Quest for Silence WMf§ feaoDpmteg to - by Michael Strathdee on. Toavoid flunking, one must flee. The volume of traffic and Where can a bogged down student But to where? transactions which occurs on the ' study in peace and quiet? At a time Surprisingly, a long ride on 2nd floor explains the sound level ■■.'■- of year when mid-terms and essays Kitchener Transit canbe a good way there, so let's proceed to the 3rd. No IMMMS are uppermost in many minds, the of getting some uninterrupted luck. Who invented periodicals, question becomes particularly reading done. For the most part, anyways? These bound volumes are SIDMMOM? . relevant. It would. seem that if transit riders wear sullen glares and fought over, passed about and — current trends continue, earplugs remain pleasantly unsociable. The purloined with such emotion, lust may become as essential for students exception to this rule is thoseroutes and commotion as to make a as highliters. Unwelcome noise of travelledby eageryoung highschool kindergarden yard supervisor throw many varieties pervades, almost all students, who haven't yet learned to up her hands in despair. Gimme that settings. shut up and brood like everyone one. Aren't you done with that yet? Unless one happens to live alone, else. They'll catch on, in time. Where's the abstract? home is questionable at best, often Student lounges are best avoided On to the 4th floor, with its Workshops __■ H 1 unbearable. (Residence life need not at all times, as the wailing, moaning, typewriters, photocopy machine, even be mentioned.) Only in the gnashing of teeth and character (the person who invents a silencer Information on fl Kfl v post-midnight and pre-dawn hours assasination which goes on within for those suckers should be granted Continuing V Wfl can relative solace be found. Bell often reaches a shrill, haranguing a Nobel peace prize) and meeting . . made a commendable step in (he level. Suffering in silence is evidently place for old friends, acquaintances, Education H_T direction of preserving student passe. and just about anyone else who has ' sanity when they began marketing Which firings us to the library. Ah nothing better to do. If only gossip phone jacks, which allow partial yes, that last bastion oflearning, the could be applied to the grade point of Education isolation from well-meaning yet apogee of academia, above the average. Perhaps all carousels could Faculty |HB irritating family and friends. everyday clatter. Oris it? Recently, it be equipped with signs reading University of Toronto fj ■ However, there is bound to be a has become difficult to'distinguish UNDER QUARANTINE DO 371 Bioor St. West S W room mate waiting for an extremely the Reserve room from the Torque NOT DISTURB. Or how -about important call.which means leaving Room, if noise levels are used as an changing the sign on the sth floor to the phone plugged in, and free to indicator. The buzzing of one group study not permitted 17.1981 ring madly. The same people who hundred voices all whispering at shhhhhhh... Wednesday. March 7 to iOp.m. "need" thephone also quickly tire of once parallels Union Station atrush A jogger spotted running down lying about whether or not you are hour. Late at nights, the situation is University Avenue this morning in. Ungrateful brutes! Stereos, clock worse, as anyone who has ever had provided a faint glimmer of hope. Information •• 978-3241 radios, the dreaded boob tube the to pull the dreaded cram will atest. He was wearing headphones and list of aural assailants goes on-and Certain groups of students take the appeared blissfully unaware of the 24-hour lounge sign literally, and chaos around him. Now, if OSAP use the place as alate night gathering can be persuaded that the purchase spot. Oh,for thereturn ofthe severe, of a Sony-Walkman is a necessary I ■ J5 L ; scolding librarian, the hawk-eyed academic outlay,at least I'll have the " bespectacled lady who insists on privilege of working in a clamour of quiet and mercilessly scolds my own choosing. ' offenders! AnACK Conservative policies create Recession JACK 3. Klein said YUKON there have been three Vancouver (CUP): The economic challenges to Keynes' theory / ThP RoarRitP policies of American Presidenf recently - supply-side theory, /7 g% IHC DUai Dllc. Ronald Reagan and British Prime monetarism, and the rational Minister Margaret Thatcher are to expectations theory. blame for the current recession, a "These three challenges dovetail prominent economist said recently. in their rejection of activist "The policies ofPresident Reagan government. They are bound and Mrs. Thatcher will prove even togetherby the beliefin 'the magic of less successful, especially if they are the market', he said. implemented in the doctrinaire way There are two great economic of the last two or three years". experiments now being conducted in Professor Lawrence Klein of the the Western World, Klein said. One University of Pennsylvania told ah is the conservative approach of audience at the University ofBritish Reagan and Thatcher which is also, Columbia. followed by the Germans and Japan. The current conservative.policies The other, Klein said, are the challenge Keynesian economics, approaches of Francois Mitterand which became mainstream in the of France and Georges Papandreas 1950's and 19605, Klein said. The of Greece. // The Black Shec of Liquors. approach nVM///ilUfIV' P Canadian Keynesian of demand The viability of eitherapproach is Concocted with fine Canadian management and welfare """rWWWw'W' " '•' Whisky. measures still in doubt because these served the worldwell in that period, experiments have not yet run their recipes '™'YUKON JACKRECIPES, Box 2710, Postal Station "U," Toronto,Ontario MBZ SPI. For more Yukon Jack write:MORE ''" he said. course, Klein said. The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18.1982 5

Underfunding Takes Its Toll Davis Pushes Closings TORONTO (CUP)~Ontario services and said there is one law premierWilliam Davis has asked the school too many.' province's universities to consider "If there are too many laweyers," closing one of their seven law said Sawyer, "we should address the schools and one of their eight problem in a different way." education facilities. Peter Atherton, dean ofeducation The request was presentedrecently at Brock and at a closed meeting of university chairperson of the Ontario presidents and board of director Association of Deans ofEducation, chairpersons. said closing a faculty' of education Davis made the suggestion as an would not save.money. Government example of how the universities grants are related to the number of might deal with financial problems. students and if closing one faculty He did not specify any particular resulted in an increase in enrollment faculty that should be closed. at another institution, the Council of Ontario Universities government would be paying out communications officer William the same amount," he said. Sayers said closing a faculty would Frank laccobucci, dean of the not really alleviate financial University of Toronto's law problems. "Say you did close_pne to faculty, made the same point. save money. Iftherewas still student "There's nothing to prevent a demand and the students were school from dosing down and the accepted, it would put a different faculty picking up enrolment in strain on the system. If they were other areas." denied, they would be frustrated." According to assistant deputy According to John McGiveny, ministerDan Wilson, theministry of University of Windsor's board colleges and universities has no plan chairperson, Davis urged university to implement the premier's officials to eliminate duplication of suggestion. Rugby Night Successful The Rugby Night at the Turret The proceeds from this evening last Friday was a complete success. will go toward the expenses of the Proceeds totalled approximately club next year. Thanks also goes to three hundred dollars. WLSU for providing the Turret and The Rugby Club would like to Kevin Dryden, director of Student thank all patrons of the Turret on Activities, for getting Adidas to Friday night for their support and sponsor the event. Adidas for donating the door prize. Fight Terrorism With Terrorism EDMONTON (CUP)-The most do that against terrorism," he said. depends on the colour of glasses effective way to combat terrorism is Green said ifterrorists boarded an you're wearing whether one is a Canada Painted Black? to form an internationally-trained Air Canada 747 and threatened to terrorist or a patriot,"he said. (RNR/CUP)-Everyone knows the yellows, the map has just' three anti-terrorist squad to launch raids fly it into anuclear reactor unless the world looks different from Tehran- colours: black for the "grand Satan in hostage situations. government handed oVer the Prime "The Western press will report just 'how different is shown in the America and its colonies," red for Minister, Cabinet and ten premiers, more readily on issues of Western new "heathen Russia and its This is the view of University of world map, published by there would be no choice but to concern...the horrorsofArgentinian dominions", and green for the political scientist L.C. the Iranian government and Alberta shoot the plane out ofthe air and kill martial law have been pushed off the "universal Islamic Republic Green, who spoke at a forum at the dedicated to the Ayatollah 300 passengers. pages because of the horrors of Khomeini. representing the will of Allah." U of A recently. He said terrorism Polish martial law... we report on place of all the usual pinks and cannot be controlled if the value of He defined terrorism as.an act of In what is in our political war where individual or group interests to human life is placed above "an report" said Green. principles. seeks through some innocent third part a concession from a After a question about reports that "I don't give a damn about the government." Libyan hit teams are plotting to hostages. I careabout the rule ofthe Green said the press is inconsistent assassinate the American president, Japanese law...we have to face the fact that in its coverage of terrorism. Green said, "If I can be unkind, I hostage's may die," said Green. "When terrorism takes place in a don't give a damn who goes after Student Scholarships "Carter places the value of human non-Western country, the West Ronald Reagan, the sooner, the Peat, (Canada) life above and you can't tends to talk about dissidents—it better." Marwick, Mitchell & Co. announce a principle, scholarship programto enhance opportunities for Japanese students to studyin Canada. The scholarships are open to any Japanese citizen High Times for Narcs admitted toa course of full-time study in Business or Economics at Canadian at (CUP)-Dope undercover narcotics officers reputedly off-duty when they visit a university either the SASKATOON undergraduate or graduate level. smoking students at the University regularly visit the campus pub, the pub, one police officer said, "an ofSaskatchewan are speaking a little "Louis". undercover agent is never off-duty." Scholarship Provisions more carefully about their favourite JeanBaker, managerofLouis' said One Louis' staff member said, . anyone in Cashamounts up to a totalof $2500 annually maybe "usually one or two "they have never busted form of relaxation-as they quaff come in for a awarded to an individual or individuals. brews in the campus pub. beer in the afternoon when it's not here yet, but who knows what That's because the students crowded." She said she signed them information they have heard that The scholarships are tenablefor one full academic year. newspaper on campus, The Sheaf, in because they were friends ofhers. has led to other busts?" Individuals mayre-applyin subsequent years, whetheror was informed that a number of Although the RCMP officers are The RCMP declined to comment not theyhave previously been awarded a scholarship. Selection A selectioncommittee to be named by Peat, Marwick will review applications and decidethe number and amount of scholarships to be awarded in each year. The Consul General of Japan, inCanada, will act as advisor tothe committee. Applications Applications should be addressed to.- Mr. R. Michael Howard, C.A. Peat, Marwick, Mitchell& Co. P.O. Box 31 Commerce Court Postal Station Toronto, Ontario M5L182 Applications will be received until April 15,1982for enrollment in a 1982/83program ofstudies beginning September 1,1982or later.

PI Peat, Marwick,Mitchell &Cq 6 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 LETTERS that a task of this nature would research to ensure thatall prisoners with human rights violations very 'Disappointed' demand thata complete jobbe done. on whose behalf we work have never rarely, if ever, is used by Need Response The manner in which it was used nor advocated the use of governments as a justification for undertaken could lead one to violence. They must be people trade barriers. of Dear Editor, question the validity of the results. detained for the non-violent The Board Student This letter is in regard to the Publications, in planning for next expression of political or religous A.I. does how GraduationExecutive election. I am not tellgovernments year's activities, is considering beliefs or because of race or to disappointed in the unprofessional conduct their affairs. It merely altering the size and format of the GailShatlander nationality. urges them manner in which it to exhibita basic respect student wall calendar. was handled. GraduateStudent for human dignity. are One would These values been proposed that expect that bothwinning not It has next and losing parties wouldbe notified Lee Onn Hean Joseph'sassertion expressly Western but are year's calendar be reduced from its thatThirdWorld governments encoded in the United Nations of the results within two days. Also have present size to a smaller 'desk size' Conscience an inherent right to Universal Declaration of Human that postings of the results would repeat atrocities which could be distributed of the past because Rights. version appear in the subsequent Cordissue, they have notyet as an insert in the Orientation issue come anywhere near to the degree of with a total breakdown of the vote. To the Editor: of the Cord. Since these discussions development in the North is Our own group has a Rather, to my knowledge the losing As a member of adopted without much Amnesty absolutely asinine. Does Fransiscan from have occurred student parties were not notified as to the International(Group 9, K-W), doing Seminarist input, Student Publications is now I feel "certain things to ensure a Yugoslavia who was found to have outcome. Were the winners? Posting I must respond to Lee Onn welcoming the voicing of opinions Hean flourishing future" clippings from a Germannewspaper of the results consisted of a ballot Joseph's letter criticizing the work of include the witi* regards to this proposed detention and systematic use of and Croatian poetry in sheet indicating the winners without A.I. His/herperspectives nationalist change. ofA.I. are his room. He was charged with tabulated votes which was posted indicative of the misperceptions Any comments or suggestions without student notice 'hostile propaganda' and given a six body outside many people have of the torture upon those whose may be directed either to WLUSUP the Dean's office. views are year sentence. Ifpeople such as this organization. The prisoners of not in line with the powers that be? are President Bill Mcßain, or left in the This seems to me to be a rather we 'enemies ofthe state', then more conscience adopt are not And how Lee Onn Hean Joseph ties power mailboxes up at the Cord Office. haphazard way of conducting any to them! "anarchists" or "Khomeinis". in First World Trade barriers with Thank-you sort of election. One would expect Amnesty undertakes meticulous Mike J. Strathdee humanrights is beyond me. Concern -Rick Nigol

But seriously, have you ever housewife. Asideof the fact that she home if we don't help out. In fact I thought how ludicrous the sex roles has the baby, why shouldn't her find it's quite fulfilling to do such Little are we use everyday? Remember husband feel comfortable in taking things for a person I care for. Bits when little by.Dan Little girls played with Barbie the time to share the joyofwatching dolls while their ML I think I've found the secret to a the boys had "serious" child grow? Which brings me back to toys like "G.I. the W woman's heart-cook dinnerfor her. Joe", and were Anotherexample ofpointless sex original point. Why feel locked into Just make herplunk herself down in expected to engage in work-oriented stereotyping is the widespreadbelief a role that was dumped on you by " play? that women a comfortable chair and let you do only are capable of someone else's generation? Today, such roles are rest. It's amazing the coming housework. Doesn't it make sense Those roles are not suited to reaction under attack. Most that if people you get it could wellrevolutionize increasing young two share a living today's realities and they also rob us - couples find it necessary to have space, they should Ltheromance. share the of many expressions oflove andjoy. both parties working. Yet when a responsibility for its upkeep? Just picture it gentlemen, a quiet child appears (well, it's not quite Remember guys, COLUMBIA women are not night, a bottle of nice wine, and a SECONDARY SCHOOL OF CANADA that easy!) it seems assumed that the chattels, so 430 we better not push our touch of culinary expertise she East 25th Street woman stays hometo be motherand luck by expecting to have a spotless Hamilton, Ontario won't forget you. - Canada LBV 384 Tel: (416)387-3381 and (416)383-1626 Clamified Unclassified Classify \jueLL CLASS] " A private co-educational school, RESUMES a cut above the rest! Tool/?/ Now invites applications for Pre-University (Grade 13) First impressions do matter, and so Grade 12 and Grade 11 students. does YOUR career (886-8089). P.S.- Thanks for the overwhelming LAST High quality stationary, mult- response to my adfor the formal. All ' applicants were great. If interested Students with at least Form"3 or equivalent of Grade 10 copies, diskfile storage. results can apply. in a date for next year's formal call 884-9293. roses yo^ We offer high academic standards; dedication and care for international students. Expert Typing Service (IBM Selec- Ollie, trie H/Qyx 4>-Standard Service: I'm on to you! Extra E.S.L. (English as a Second Language) and T.O.E.F.L. classes. Correction of «rrors in spelling, grammerand punctuation. UCPA's, CRESSMAN work reports, theses welcome. 88*- Scholarship, Bursary and School Residence are available -6275. for application. Classified ...Unclassified boys from club fee: The 748 would like Tuition C52,700.00 Special thanks to Jeff Speed for to thank all those Reefers and PRINCIPAL: Mabel Young, M.A.(Ed.), developing this week's photos. Reeferettes who sun splashed Saturday night. "N. Letters or Tamaie , / N , AND THE WINNERS ARE~ - JANICE WAGNER, MARIE PERKINS, JILL BARNARD, Queen's University, Concordia University, York University, AFrodJ IT/ Kingston. Montreal. Toronto. Congratulations to the Mercury LN7 winners in L the Long Distancc*^^^

We wish them many years of enjoyable driving. And thanks to the thousands of other students who participated. Better luck next year! Meanwhile, LOttC] good luck in your exams, have a great summer and m 3 lwC5 keep that Long Distance Feeling going strong! TransCanada Telephone System The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 7 ENTERTAINMENT

The Art & Science Of Promoting A Hill: A Sentimentalist Party

by D.P. Neil

Needless to say, sixty by In the five years that I've been with casesof Diane Pitts beer around Waterloo, I've been invited and an estimated one hundred and thirty to, attended and crashed a few people, the well didn't run Dan songs dry. 1 left at 4:30 Hill. I've found in his parties. In first and second years about a.m. and the what I've never it party was before encountered was hard just trying to remember still going on. in any other singer: poetry put to what happened, who you met, what music. songsremind of His me what was said and where you William Wordsworth once said, "a slept. spontaneous overflow of powerful There is a tendency to feeling". His songs are pefsofial, think of parties as successes of sentimental, poignant and often On Sunday past, after attending failures based on the number ofpeople who heart rending, as was evident by the the Calypso Sun Splash Holiday on attend and up to apoint thisis true. In large sniffles throughout the audience at, William St., I asked myself, "What rooms the Centre the he there's nothing worse than in Square wfiere makes a goodparty?" The answer to the performed attendance of only a few people, last week. this question is acomplex and purely and; thefeeling personal one, that the get together is going to be a horrendous failure becomes I feel that certain apparent. When it conies However, criteria right down to it must order a to however, the key is exist in for party be not the successful. They are: the location, quantity, but the quality. I I was, needless to say, very hate to use the timing, a wide variety of good that old cliche, but it's surprised to discover that Dan Hill fitting. music, enough interestingpeople, an was performing to less than a full aura of professionalism (knowing house as he is notorious as a how to carry one off) and enough musician. must Canadian I admit booze. honestly, that Hill's voice does not Like booze, music can quickly particularly appeal to me. I find it • kill a good party. With music, you can feel out the crowd, determinethe mood and in turn foster that mood. Now, I realize that the "boysfrom Long breaks between songs,,albums the Fellowship" rather whiny and often mono- shudder at the or tapes is detrimental if that is that tonous. But his talent as a lyricist thought it booze makes continuouslyrepeated. Thelocation or breaks a but true. cannot be denied. It was, as a matter party, it's Now, too, is important when one considers of fact, enough to cause me to listen I recognize the fact that it is not a that many people don't prerequisite have private to him intently for the oneandahalf His What I admire most about Hill is that one drinks, I transportation. On the attire was simple: white acknowledge average, away hours that he performed. He is able painter pants, his perceptiveness. I often find that simply the fact that the farther from the a blue shirt and many people do and school the the to capture fleeting moments and stocking songs lack any real depth, and are nothing kills a party is, poorer the feet. His back-up band (I party turn-out. compose dynamic songs. In between use presented on a rather superficial faster than a wateringhole run that term loosely), consists of dry. songs, he talked to the audience, another guitarist and a keyboard level. Hill defies that. telling us the circumstances that player. He played a variety of old All in all, it was a simple, few are, feel, enticed him to write a particular and Very parties I truly new songs including titillating and satisfying successful, but*Saturday's "Fun-In- song and the everlasting effect that "Sometimes When We To attract people, and keep Touch" and performance. Dan Hillis an asset to them The-Sun" party well done. Over the event has upon him. "You Make you need to an was Me Want To Be". Canada. there offer incentive. the yearsl\e been to manyparties It's been proven at that the best 748 of which I might add, there has enticement is free booze. never been a bad one. There have Unfortunately, more parties where been in that are than one people show others Waterloo hundred gets renowned as classic good times Fabulous Composition Recital costly, especially for such students. as the old 97 King bashed, thefew The next best thing then, is the Glascow parades and more recently, "set-fee-all-you-can-drink" system. by Scott Mackenzie with the help of other faculty the Robinwood M.A.S.H parties. The composers were, in order < The hassles of getting, to the beer students. Dr. Carol Ann Weaver, As a matter offact, thelastM.A.S.H On March 9,the first year appearance: Kevin Trask, Gillian and/or liquor store on time, and teacher of the class, explained that pqrty a video caassette. player composition Webster, Rosemary Pankratz, Vie once you get to theparty, wondering had students of theFaculty the in class start of Music performed students her off Frasson, Trudy Carroll, Lynne if the drunk who's working two some of the learning how compose pitchless to McNab, Karen Sterner, Paul beers at once is going after your works they had composed compositions and eventually are throughout the past 7 months. Federau, John Goulart, and John next, is forgotten you have it. and showed the allowed to explore virtually any when original M.A.S.H. There was an Devenish; all first-year music all taken care of for you. movie, TheBluesBrothers, StarTrek unprecedented aspect of tonal and atonal music. variety of and forms students. The boys at 748 William St. sold and musical styles After listening to the recital, it's An American Werewolf in performed ranging from pitchless tickets (130) for a mere $5.00 ahead. London. easy to see this formula was a rhapsodies to soothing Sure, you may subsidize the guy I ballads. success. The faculty can be proud of would like to see the Cord staff Included in this noon-hour recital Also, thanks are due to Greg you you only have a few these fine youngs composers. beside if incorporate a weekly column were some hilarious vocal works Stroh, Karen Shantz, Ilona Scharer, while he belts down a quick dozen, into the paper which comments on that created screaming women, Carol Vreugdenhill, Charmaine but when you consider the parties whichhave ensued, including squeaky mice, and people laughing. The only disappointment in the Baer, Mark Eberhardt, Barb alternative, (8.V.0.8), who really the good, the bad and thedownright Each student in the Composition entire recital was the lack of faculty Hindrichs, and Carolyn Otto for cares. ugly ones. 160 "Rookies" had a musical work members and the limited amount of their assistance in the performances. performed either by themselves or non-music students in the audience. BOP DOOOO WAAAAH!!! Porky Contest Winner Three New Clubs Emerge For Next Year by John MacRae questioning. It will provide club you don't have to be fluent in 'members with an opportunity to Whatever their interests, students French. listen and talk with others about can pursue it here at WLU as The third new club, the Laurier hasalways had more their views on many Issues. To Photography club, is really a one of than its facilitate interesting discussion, the fair share of club. In fact, at one a kind club hereat Laurier. When if Philosophy club plans a of time Laurier boasted some series is in full operation in September, sixty forums where from re cognized clubs speakers members can expect to learn and different academic areas voice their share their knowledge in taking and opinions on a specific issue. With developing pictures. Meetings will At the last WLUSU board these kinds of activities, the club be held to facilitate this. The club meeting three new clubs came into should appeal to students from a hopes to put on displays of its existence, i They are: the French a wide range of disciplines. members pictures. It is expected club, the Philosophy club and the The newly recognized French club that the club will have use ofa dark Photography club. is considering an exciting list of room. As with all other WLUSU activities for its first year. Each of recognized clubs, the Photography The Philosophy club isplanning a these activities will be engineered to club is open to any WLU students range of activities including promote French language and with interest. discussions, guest speakers and culture with the emphasis on If you have an interest in any of films. The club is designed for language.. Activites planned include these of other Campus Clubs, way. It's my fault students of any discipline who wish Cafe Ffancais, a wine and cheese please drop them a line in their Don't look at me that not my to expose themselves to party, coffee houses and posssibly a mailbox or give their executive a mother was into bestiality. phi 1 osophicaljnqjury. an,d trip to Quebec. To be a part of this call. 8 The Cord Weekly. Thursday, March 18,1982

"They're here to audition for the String section." to be

March 18 March 19 March 23 -12:30-1:30, Paul Martin Centre Mr David Crombie, M.P., House The Fame Simon Girty will be The filmsKramer vsKramer will Brown Bag Lunch - English, -learnabout career opportunities, of Commons, will speak at WLU of and playing at the U ofW Arts Centreat 3e shown in room IEI at 7:00p.m. History, Canadian Studies, Fine jobs WLU grads have obtained on,Social Services in Canada in the 8:00 p.m. Tickets are $2.00 for WLU students $2.00, others, $2.50. Arts, Philosophy, Communication job search information. 19805,. Seminar will be held in the students and seniors. students Library Board Room beginning at 9:00 is March 25 p.m. Admission free and everyone is welcome. 12:00-1:00, Paul Martin Centre Brown Bag Lunch - Biology, March 22 -learn about career opportunities, Chemistry, Physics, Mathematics Brown Bag Lunch Geography, jobs WLU grads have obtained and students March 26 film,77ie Hiding The feature Urban Studies, Political- Science job search information. Brown Bag Lunch German, 7:30 p.m. in - Place.will be shown at -12:00-1:00, Paul Martin Centre French, Spanish students. The is about students romm P-1025/27. film 12:30-1:30, Paul Martin Centre -learn about career opportunities, -12:30-1:30, Paul Martin Centre a woman's experience in a Nazi- March learn about career opportunities, 24 jobs WLU grads have obtained and -learn about career opportunities, concentration camp. Brown Bag Lunch Anthropol- German jobs WLU grads have obtainedand job search information. jobs WLU grads have and by the LCF. Cost is ogy, Sociology, - obtained Sponsored job search information. Psychology, job search information. 12.00. Archaeology, Religion & ,Culture students WILF'S and WILL LOSE^l| W in the ALL NEW 1| THE TURRET

Applications are being accepted ™ BRAND NEWY NIGBUI I from experienced personnel FIRST TIME IN I remainder of this year THE AREA \ I for the THE Gl/VS VS WE G/f?lSVevEß^^^B^ WHO WILL m LOSE>ues.Co/Tues. March 23 rnDrrn Applications are available in TO STRIP? PARTICIPANTS 1 fc the WLUSU main office.

■Well -wait till Tues. March A and join us for a night of M Interviews will be held commencing April 5/1982.

_—— . . * The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 9 Book Ends Sound Affects Pitt Stop by Diane Pitts-Entertainment Editor New Arrivals 1) Your Supernatural Mind, by Sandra McNeil J59.95) Let's Make A Deal, The the contestant (if it's afemale) 2) An Eclectic Eel, by Dalton Camp Price Is Right, Family Feud is exposed to millions of ($14.95) and The Newlywed make- 3) The Holy Blood and the Game are attentive viewers with Holy, just some of all her Grail, by Michael Baigent ($19.95) the more crass up smudged over face. game shows on television that New in Paperback i serve to exemplify man's 1) The Rice The Romantics Strictly greed. Dragon, by Drummond Personal The Teardrop Explodes Wilder Also, why do the ($3.95) by D.R. Hiller - by Ian - female gender insist on 2) The Scarlatti Inheritance, by The second album by the Detroit Ashley To me, Left Make A Deal, The sun never sets on kissing Monty Hall after Robert Ludlum ($3.95) (based band has some good Britain's is one of the more difficult 3) Ireland: A aggressive rock bands. A year ago, U.K. bands every deal whether win TerribleBeauty, by Jill music. The album is game shows to participate in. they and Leon Uris ($4.95) isimilar to those by NickLowe inthat were busily resuscitating the festival or lose. Is it a facade to it is Jamaican beat of "ska." Now, like The mental anguish that the 4) Lunatic Villas, by Marian Engel powerful, well-madepop music. prove to everyone that even ($2.95) It's quick musical paramedia, they seem to be contestants must endure combustable style leaves though they gave up 5) The Tent Peg, by Aritha Van Herk all arty, intellectual concepts to rushing to breathe life into a new when making that fateful and patient. The rock press $8,000,000.00 for a chance to ($2.95) other^groUpS to toy with. You won't ha£ labelled irreversible decision on Guiness this one psychedelic revival, but it is $10,000,000.00 6) Book of World Records find any mysterious symbolism on whether ornot to take the box win they can 1982, by Norris McWhirter(s3.9s) Strictly Personal. And, like the no- really a pollination of post-punk handle it gracefully? Now, I or the curtain must be if 7) The Amityville Horror by John •frills machine gun style of another British rock with the mind-blowing was enough ofa glutton to do sounds beloved by our own dear phenomonal. Definitely one Jones, ($3.95) Michigan resident, Ted Nugent, the what they did, I sure wouldn't album has a refreshing quality to it departed Woodstock nation. oflife's hardships. What kills The sporting enough to Amityville Horror II (like a high speed car chase.) But Teardrop Explodes weigh in me is when they give up a be kiss should with references to make every him I would probably by John G. Jones they have a warning on the mere $5,000.00 worth of as be cover saying Wait, just because briefcase toting ex-hippie nostalgic. quite ticked off. by : prizes money to go for D. R. Hiller they look weird doesn't mean they The dense guitar textures and and/or Horror fiction and science fiction, can't play. aggressive rhythms are modern the "big deal" worth are usually relegated to the junk- British. The Doors are a key touch $20,000.00. Now, I can't The show that I find the food section ofliterature.The image Novo Combo point too. But with two trumpeteers understand their insatiable readily blasting unison and some most annoying is The that comes to mind is the in fairly desire for more. I in various movie adaptations that have by Ian Ashley clunky melodies, there'salso a touch If was Newlywed Game. The host is their position, I the rather juvenile extremes of Novo Combo is just your average ofBlood, Sweatand Tears. Also, the think I would a real jerk. He lacks insane-killer movies or Star Wars asi rock and roll band that plays songs choruses bob with bubbly tend to abide by a song by professionalism, patience and being typical of the fields. And! typical of a debut album, ones that synthesizer notes- like that singing Steve Miller entitled, "Take most of all discreetness. The perhaps they are. Horror fiction ml contain love, booze and of course percolator on the coffee the Money and Run". It particular on a women. commercial. Wilder is the second questions that are asked on works base level and seems to me to following Sturgeon's Law, (which The band consists Deer, album from The Teardrop Explodes decadent the show are a deliberate of Steven they states that 95% of anything is crap) Jack Griffith, Pete Hewlett and and with songs like, "Tiny know that when go for invasion of one's privacy. As you have to search through a lot of Michale Shrieve with none of the Children," ','Piire Joy," and, the "elusive big deal" that no a matter of fact, one young swill before one finds any gems.But members being involved with any "Passionate Friend," this band is matter what happens, man on the show refused to they do exist. Good horror fiction other rock outfits before this, their here to stay. Since theirfirst album, one can't lose. I ask answer a sexually oriented becomes good fiction, (with some debut Some of the the lead guitarist, Alan Gill, has left album.. songs because weird terrifying boundaries, that did catch my attention though, and been replaced by Troy Tate. He , you, "Where's the question his mother- though). Work by Bloch, Bradbury were, "City Bound," "Don't Do is a suitable replacement and one challenge?" Maybe it lies in in-law was in the audience. I and King has always easilyabsorbed That," and "Hard To Say that seems to play well with Julian the fact that the contestant admire him for his refusal to the reader withthe smallest loss ofa Goodbye." When you look at the Cope, leader of the band, as well as his/her relent. I've seen arguments lead vocals and guitar. must keep composure suspension of belief. But there is a overall effort, there is nothing bass A great flare up on this show because strange uneasiness, spectacular. lyrics album while on T.V. I mean, the an unnatural- All the are typical of the was ness about horror fiction that with all the topics being covered a excitement, tension and one half couple to how many prompts questions about the author thousand times before. A band I would appreciate it if the person titillation they must feel is oblivious as and his work. (Somewhat like H. P. Should be innovative and highly whoaccidentally walked offwith my probably incredible. bars of soap were in their Lovecraft's excellent story creative in order to capture any type long gray overcoat (UTEX brand However, many people do "apartment. They sat and Pickman's Model, in which a man ofa listening audience. Novo Combo name) after the IRC formal at the bickered intermittently at one wonders how his artist-friend paints is just playing it safe by publishing lose their composure and, I Turret on Saturday night would another for the remainder of such hellish pictures of strange sappy pop songs that the average find it insulting when they win contact me at 884-4047 or return it show. creatures. He gets too curious and in fourteen 'year old would enjoy. the Security office. A reward is to see them scream, stamp the Grounds for descending down a long passageway They try to make themselves look offered for the return of both the their feet, shake their head divorce? In this day and age I from the artist's studio, discovers isexy on the cover and inmy opinion contents. coat and the and maybe even cry so that wouldn't be surprised. the source of the painting's life-like just portray an even more shabby qualities...). When it is good,there is image. I just can't understand why a dark fascination to read the stuff Polygram of Canada would bother and an example of the opposite end signing a group like this, especially is Amityville Horror 11. In the when they have some ofthe best new original book, (written by the late music bands in the world signed to Jay Anson) the Lutz family was their label. Centertainer beset by strange horrors in theirnew | home. 0.X., that'sfairly traditional: put a bunch of ordinary people, Tangerine Dream Exit (just like you and me) in a terrifying - situation, (a haunted house) But by Jerry Zeidenberg Fun "N" Games Amityville Horror 11, by John G. I The music produced by 1 Jones doesn't work on any level. At Tangerine Dream can best be the book's beginning, the Lutz described as a kind of background I 2 Locations to Serve You Better: I family flees the strange house (you music. Subtle and repetitive, it remember the movie ads: GET doesn't call attention to itself, and OUT OF 402 King St. (Beside Harveys) | THAT HOUSE!!) But allows the listener to driftoffinto his I now, (of course) the horror goes own train of thoughts. with them. (Don't leave home Exit is the fourteenth album | 12Young St. | without it?) And in theirbattle with released by Tangerine Dream, a the unknown, (it's actually a German trio The band is known strange, pig-monster, seriously) they for its electronic «>und. Although (Across the May fair Hotel) I publish a book and become media . from Exit is a bit funkier and rhythmic celebrities. Now aside from the than previous TD it doesn't 1 H efforts, along your friends and test your skills in our "truthfulness" of the book, (yes, it stray far from the usual electronic- Bring m DID happen) all attention to the synthesizer norm. jH relaxed atmosphere. H book is lost at this point. It's like In its early days, circa 1970, getting halfway through Franken- TANGERINE DREAM's music stein and having Mike Wallace step was often used for avant-garde Moonshuttle Gorf Missile in to interview the monster for 60- ballets. In this role, as a backdrop, it • • Minutes. The scary scenes are not is very effective. The group more scary and the plot("Won't someone recently provided a soundtrack for Command Quasar |§ believe our story?") drags on and on the movie Thief and when • and on. Finally after the exorcism, experienced together with the film, § (this book has everything in it and the music Packman 1 was extraordinarily ::%::: does it all badly. One might call it the powerful. '%s"'■ "kitchen-sink method of horror In sum, Tangerine Dream churns | To Name A Few! writing") the book mercifully ends. out the sort of music which movie- 1' What can I say? It doesn't even have makers, playwrights and B . M the crude, shock value that cheap choreographers love: it is a sound horror offers. Reading Amityville that complements their own work p Open: Monday to Thursday 10 AM-12 PM p Horror 11, out of thevast selection of perfectly. As an album for listening II Friday 10 AM to 1:30 AM Saturday 12AM-12PM brilliant, terrifying works available) purposes only, Exit, like other TD is like going into a Baskin-Robins albums, cannot be so highly rated. and ordering vanilla. 10 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 Neil Simon's Matthau is Herb Tucker, who, Manoff, in a reprise of her Tony having nicely adjusted to Award-winning role, plays Libby bachelorhood and poverty the Tucker, a brash Brooklynite who result of now-routine rejections— of journeys to the film capital to his writings ~ is forced to face the assume her rightful place among the responsibilities of fatherhood, for stars. She is also, though less which he is totally unprepared. consciously, hoping to re-establish a relationship with the father she hasn't seen or heard from since she years The catalyst, to their rocky was three old. reunion is Ann-Margret, as Herb's girlfriend Steffy Blondell.The multi- talented performer takes on a role Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret quite unlike any she's ever and Dinah Manoff star in a attempted in bringing the level- heartwarming comedy from 20th headed, loving character of Steffy Century-Fo*, Neil Simon's / Ought the the screen. To Be In Pictures,.

Pictures is produced by Simon and Ross, whose previous When the spirited, forthright 19- collaborations, The Sunshine Boys, -year-old daughter of a once The Goodbye Girl and California successful Hollywood writer Suite, have earned a total of 16 unexpectedly walks in on the father Academy Award nominations and she hasn't seen in 16 years, their three Oscars. In addition, Ross has reunion sets the scene for Neil directed two of Simon's most Simon's newest comedy, adapted successful Broadway play, Chapter from his Broadway hit and directed Two, in 1977 and / Ought To Be In by Herbert Ross. Pictures in 1980.

wast mmmmstars mam mm?, WLJm MnmiwA AN«-MARSB£Ttor m lights and mmm to be pos: tto!»(Jtiw»B t!»fes!« fttaing offteil Smsstfs timmm eora&Sy, j I Ought To Be miss it! THE GRAND jfjl 6 BRIDGE ST. W., KITCHENER-744-6368 Jiff In Pictures DEATHTRAP MICHAEL CAINE CHRISTOPHER REEVE DYAN CANNON

The trap is set... For a wickedly funny

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in iralevins "DEATHTRAP" Executive Producer JAY PRESSON ALLEN Associate Producer ALFRED dc LIAGRE, JR. Music by JOHNNY MANDEL Produced by BURTT HARRIS Screenplay by JAY PRESSON ALLEN Based on the stage play by IRA LEVIN Directed by SIDNEY LUMET FROM WARNER BROS O. A WARNER COMMUNICATIONS COMPANY OPENING SOON 6 Walter Matthau and Dinah Manoff The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 11 POETICS Reflectionsof Universityon andthe AlbertCorner

by Jason Smith

(with cockburn) Nice Baby by Karen Wilkins thanks bruce Last year 1 talked about black humour and the impact to common market on the European community and of the threw clever little cocktail parties in our discerningly

eclectic living room with the Spanish rug and the hand-carved Chinese chest and the lucite chairs and

was occasionally hungered after by highly-placed men in communications, but

this year we have a nice baby and pablum drying on our Spanish rug and I talk about nursing versus sterilization while the men iiycommunications hunger elsewhere.

Last year I studied flamenco and had my ears pierced and served an authentic fondue on the Belgian marble table of our discerningly

eclectic dining area, but this year we have a nee baby and Spock on the second shelf of our Chinese chest and instead of finding myself, I am doing my best to find a sitter for the nice baby banging the

Train Poem Belgian marble with his cup % while I heat the oven for TV dinners.

by K.P.

Last year I had a shampoo and set every week and slept an unbroken sleep beneath the Venetian

chandelier of our discerningly eclectic bedroom, but this year we have anice baby

and Gerber's strained bananas in my hair and gleaming beneath the Venetian chandelier

a diaper, a pail, a portacrib, and him a nice baby drooling on our antique satin spread. Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

FORGETFULNESS A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

BEG To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.

BLANK-VERSE Unrhymed iambic pentameters—the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind. . . - • CALLOUS Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils - afflicting another 12 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982 SPORTS more spacious than the old room facilities are equally shared. An (more than twice the size). The example is the squash courts. From "Dungeon" to "Palace" colour co-ordination of yellow and Once Laurier females are blue makes it bright. Windows familiarized with the centre, the provide excellent lighting and atmosphere and appearance of the ventilation. A music system, centre should keep them coming New Fitness Centre Opens provided by the Letterman's Club, back. creates a relaxed, enjoyable After seeing this impressive fitness by Andrew Miller There were 2,400 students at weight room received the atmosphere. Wall-to-wall carpet centre, one must wonder about the Coach Newbrough describes it as Laurier when the complex opened. administration's support last provides the comforts of home. costs of making this centre more "a dungeon affair". Students call ita Now there is 4,100 students and the summer. Mirrors add.a psychological edge to comfortable than the penthouse "hole". weight room has been labelled By Christmas the old carpentry "working out". And a fountain suite at the Holiday Inn. '• Laurier's first weight room, inadequate. shop had been cleaned up and was provides an instant source ofrelief. Roughly, total renovations cost designed in 1973 when the Athletic In nine years a lot has changed. ready to be re-decorated. In Most of the equipment un the $9,250. This includes the paint job, Laurier's new fitness Complex was first opened, was 925 Participaction is the new fever and February, fitness centre is the equipment from the special wooden support on the square feet. everyone is catching it. The most centre was opened and by the old weight room re-upholstered, floor in the heavy weight area, The main users of the room were obvious example of this Fever is the comparison it can be called a with the exception of three new insulation of the door, and other football players. Ninety-fivepercent overnight growth of women "palace". pieces of quipment and a rack of miscellaneous expenses. A rough is an of the users were male, bodybuilders. To cope with this The new fitness centre quite dumbbells. estimateputs the wall-to-wallcarpet understandably so. growing demand, plans for a new improvement. It's unbelievably The three new pieces are: a leg at $4,300 and the additions to the extension machine, a hip flex, and equipment at $5,250. duplex pullies. a power rack is also It is apparent that effort has been expected to be added to the centre put into cutting costs. The electric soon. water cooler that was supposed tobe There's enough equipment in the in the centre has been replaced by an centre to ensure thatthere are no line old fountain that has probably been ups waiting to use an apratus. The sitting in storage for the last 10 only piece of equipment that isn't years. The mirrors in thecentrehave readily available is an excercise been gathered up from around the bicycle which is kept locked up. school. As ofyet, there is no clock in Coach Newbrough says it's locked the centre. The equipment, although up because the majority of students of excellent quality, is not the best are ignorant as to how to use the money can buy. And then,ofcourse, bicyle. An office is going to be thereis always the variousdonations opened in the centre where a key to from alumni to help out. The new the bicycle room can be obtained. Laurier fitness centre is truly a great Compare to other university asset to the school and its students. fitness centres Laurier's centre takes As Coach Newbrough said, "It will top honours. Coach Newbrough touch a lot of people." called it "the finest in the province". He emphasized the fact that University ofWaterloo has a weight football players aren't the only room thatwould be humbledby our beneficiaries. The average student, old weight room. Thisfitness centre whether male or female, shouldget a is something everyone at Laurier great deal of satisfaction and should be proud of. enjoyment out of the centre. "It's the most notable facility That "everyone" includes the since the building of the Athletic female population at Laurier. The Complex itself," states Coach old weight room got 95% of its use Newbrough. from males. Presently the fitness ****************************** centre appears to have about a 60 - The fitness centre is open from 30 split of males and females. 7:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Monday to The regular male excercises have Friday and from 12:00 to 5:00 noticed the increased female Saturday and Sunday. The rules population in the centre and aren't concerning the centre are few but complaining. It seems the men enjoy important. Absolutely no stret shoes the presence of womenand are quite are allowed. Abuse oftheequipment ea.ger to help them out. It should be is dealt with severely. To discourage just a matter of time before the the theftofweights, gym bags aren't number of males and females using allowed in the centre. It is he centre is equal. encouraged that you wear a shirt Coach Newbrough commented when working with the leather :hat • even when the Athletic padded equipment. Lastly, Complex was first opened the women remSmber that this is your were reluctant to use the facilities. equipment. Take care ofit and make But now it is quite apparent that the sure others do the same. A Familiar Face In The Complex by JeffBrown Ifyoudon'trecognize theface you has been a faculty member, he has many off-season hours looking for academically and in sports.". may havea recollection ofa guywho shown dedication to his 'potential Laurier students who are McTeer was the assistant coach for Anyone who spends a consider- is being followed by his son, who responsibilities and genuine willing to play football. Of the the University ofMontana Grizzlies. able amount of tirrle in the Athletic stands about twoand a halffeet tall- personal interest in\he students that prospects for next year, McTeer Complex is bound to recognize the -that's Bill McTeer. '"• he's been in contact with. says, "There are a lot of prospects face of Bill McTeer. For the past six years McTeer His responsibilities include being out there but we've received no McTeer is a coach ofbothamajor the assistant varsity football coach verbal commitment yet; of course sport (football) and a minor sport at which he functions as the the students don't commit (skiing). He recognizes a difference defensive back coach. This vital themselves until they confirm their* in commitment from coaches who section of the Golden Hawks university acceptance in June." are involved in a major or minor includes fifteen individuals. Seven As well as the aforesaid sport. "The university commits itself dress for eachgameandfive actually responsibilities McTeer is the less in minor spert, therefore the start the game. coordinator of the aquatics coaches demand less from their McTeer expresses his satisfaction program. "I'm hoping that during athletes," explains McTeer. with defensive backs last season but '82-'B3 we'll get more students foresees '82-'B3 as a year of taking advantage of the Associated with long distance, rebuilding because of the large instructional swim such as the running, McTeer has competed in number of new faces that will ,be Bronze Medallion, Scuba, and many 10km races as well as one replacing the graduates. The high Stroke Improvement courses," says official 26.2 km run, the Ottawa number of graduates will affect the McTeer. marathon. McTeer started running whole team; "Hopefully we'll be as McTeer's academic background in 1972 after finishing his football strong", says McTeer. consists of an Honours Degree in career as a defensive back player. McTeer also has a large Physical Education from the "My first step was to lose 35 responsibility teaching courses at University ofWestern Ontario and a pounds", which places him at a good Laurier. He instructs Organization Masters of Physical Education from running weight, says McTeer. For and Administration of Physical the University of Montana. "I was those people who are presently Education, Foundation of Physical drawn to Montana because of my training for arace, such as the WLU Education, and Physical Training research in sports Sociology; they 10km, he offerssome advice: "Start and Athletic Performance. offered what I wanted," explains slow and taper off; and make sure As a recruiter McTeer spends McTeer. "My education experience you train-don't run it for a lark." in the United States was beneficial The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18, 1982 13 Buffalo Chips Return of the Sports Quiz Miniskirt Prompts by Brian Totzke matching one on the right. In some that they can all be matched of New cases a word could have more than satisfactorily without any repeats, Formation This week'squiz is intheform ofa one possible solution on the other All matches are according to the puzzle. The idea is to match the side. However, there is onlyone way sports world phenomena. Club word or phrase on the left with a the hell can anyone be bored with Column 1 Column 2 quarterbacks/piyots by Brett Roberts and Matt Torigian over 147 different positions? Montreal,centre Pete/Maravich Blue brothers/Mahovlich Well it's about time! Rumour has we Vincent Fouts-Strock centre It is with this idea in mind that pivots Lemaire/Montreal it that we will see a return to the are our intention to Argos death announcing Toronto Colts-Giants/sudden mini-skirt this summer. In our form a new campus It to be Maple Leafs club. is Parry Sound Blizzard/NASL opinion such a fasion change is as Club. Redskins-Bears known the Heterosexual Jay Louis Cardinal/St. certainlywelcome and longoverdue. members are members Beliveau Phil/Esposito Charter the Orr NASL of Tamiae's hockey champions Frank/Howard through an ... St. Louis After going entire Biz 3 Orange. Tony Turcotte/Secretariat Ron decade without' seeing much leg- Triple Crown 72-0 Dolphins-Chargers/Fouts-Strock only the occasional calf or glimpse .Cosell sudden death Executive: Brett Matt . Cosell/Meredith of a knee-it look like we willfinally Roberts, Dolphins-Chargers 4 Tony Crown/Robinson Triple be getting a look at thighs again. Torigian. Other positions: Ron Turcotte Esposito Arouri, Perry lan Clark, Tony/Oliva Catena, Frank Howard For those males ofour generation Rod Roster, Jamie Kennedy, Tom Sound Orr/Parry Phil Maravich Beliveau/4 who haven't seen this much thigh Land, Bruce Latimer, Willie Cardinal Don's Dog since then, this summer should McFarlane, Elwood McKenna, Boatmen Redskins-Bears/72-0 Blizzard Leafs/Toronto Maple certainly be illuminating. Bird- Doug Millar, Andy Miller, Andy Colts-Giants Secretariat clubs and associations will Salisbury, Mike Simpson, Terry Argos/Boatmen watching Lemaire Robinson Vincent/Jay once again flourish with the Toews, John Walker, Joe Willis. Mahovlich brothers Dog Blue/Don's increased amount of scenery on Special Events Chairman: Shawn Pete Meredith parade. There is now at least Leon. quarterbacks Oliva SOLUTION something to look forward to this summer besides- scanning beaches Just as the Gay Club's events are (as these idols plan to do.) not of a sexist nature, our club has no sexual base orchauvinistic nature Our generation has been labelled as both men and women are treated as boring, apathetic and too equally when applying for positions. conservative. Let's change this We may even hold Heterosexual image before we are too old. How Coffee Houses. Rim Instead Sports Gestures are \ si*** .J Questionable Out of Context by Joanne Rimmer player's shoulder, heads close together and everybody admires With the recent controversy over how intense they are. They're just the possibility of a new Laurier Gay getting down to business. No raised, Club raising so much talk, a friend eyebrows or comments on their and I began to talk about the possible femininity. They are the stereotyping of homosexuals and epitomy of masculinity! about how society views some A student gets a good mark. The gestures as acceptable and others as only acceptable response from the professor is to say "nice work". A For example, hugging andkissing defensive back makes a n ice play: is perfectly acceptable if done by when he comes off the field, several men and women, although there are players hit him on the shoulder or respectable limits placed on/ the the derrier. Perfectly acceptableand amount and nature of the kissing. again, a masculine gesture ... when Father and daughter, mother and on the football field, of course. son may kiss but again, there are However, if the same two players those restrictions. were to pat each others' bums Women may kiss or hug women anywhere else, they'd be laughed at (within limit) without any weird for being "queer". (Also the looks and it is termed as a nice "pattee" would probably deck the gesture. Mother may kiss daughter "patter" for getting fresh.) when she's saying good night, One more time. Suppose some congratulations or "I care". friends finish an exam and they did Bu| catch any father kissing his pretty well and are heading up to the son and groupsare screaming incest, Turretto celebrate. They don't come abuse, homosexuality. In some out jumpingall over each other and cultures, like the Italian, this hugging. But suppose the hockey practice is perfectly acceptable. But team wins a tough game, they're out in our straight-laced North on the ice leaping all overthe goalie American society, it is feminine to and the other players. Nothing's express emotion and masculine to unusual. restrain. Sports in general lends itself to That is ... except in the world of rather questionable positions which sports. The scene which is of course aren't questioned because stereotyped to be ultra-masculine in it is such amasculine field. Wrestlers our society, actually sees behaviour are often found to be in positions which, when placed out of context, that would demand explanation if we would deem as "queer". Imagine done inanother situation.Tackles in those super jocks practising queer football see the players in pretty behaviour! weird positions. V For example, you see a male prof It is really quite an irony that a walking across the concourse in notably masculine field lends to such deep conversation about a lecture feminine traits and movements. with one -of his male students. However, is it acceptable for a girl Nothing unusual so far. Now, to perform masculine feats\n sports pretend the professor has his arm and have her performance be around the student's shoulder. Ah! considered "normal" or is thereany lWitl*fl nU M IHl"tfT That puts a new light on thing. stigma associated? Is it now too Now, we'llrelocate the scene. The "masculine" for the girl? head football coach is giving last I'd be happy to receive any minute instructions before th£ big responses. Please deliver to the BEERiFROM I^BATFS.^^ game to the" quarterback. He walks Cord, c/o Joanne Rimmer, Sports across the field, arm about the Editor. 14 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18.1982 Super Sports 1982 Quarrell wins overall for third time by Jeff Brown and Joanne Rimmer organized the event. Involved in the Overall male winner, for the third 'preparations were Mary Bonney, Laurier's Physical Education 302 year in a row, was Barry Quarrell. Gail Reid, Susan class was responsible for success Wiesner, Todd Overall female winner was Diane the Turnbull, Dave Waud, of Super Sports 1982. Mark lutzi Young. and Brad Beauchamp. The students, under the \ The competition is divided into a Approximately 150 people supervision of Bill McTeer varsity and non-varsity group in attended the annual event. both male and female classes. Both Quarrell and Young were the overall •varsity champs. Steve Forden and Lynn Lysko were the non-varsity champs. To determine the overall champion for both the male and female classes, the non-varsity and varsity champions compete in an obstacle course race. Competition in the female varsity division was stiff. A tie-breaker was held between Young, who had 28 points and Diane Milla with the same. Helen Rutkyj followed closely behind with 27 points. The event was sponsored by Carling O'Keefe who supplied all the following prizes for the athletes. Overall male winner, Quarrell, received an engraved plaque. Overall female winner, Young received a silver tray. Top four finalists, Quarrell, Young, Lysko and Forden received a gym bag. Winners ofeach of the six women's Norbert Isaacs winds up. events and eight men's events received a mug. Every participant was given a "Super-Sports" t-shirt. Many thanks go to Phys-Ed 302 for co-ordinating the event and Mike Cressman of Carling O'Keefe. A different perspective on sports,

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THE HERO NEED A SUMMER JOB? Possible earnings of $4,000 to $8,000 in 4 months. You can run your own business this summer and in the summers to come, in your home town. Student Enterprises has been in WATEItt.OOTFVTake a friend .. meet a friend, have / J operation for six years offering various services some laughs .. enjoy the show try ( J ... to communities across Ontario. These services some_darts. Indulge in the goad .^^a at . times. "The Hero". Wfflfih^ include house painting, pool maintenance, lawn maintenance. You set your own hours, hire employees, keep records, etc. We have a short training session inearly May to teach you how to run your own business, then you are on SIDESTREET MB your own. For more information and an y fluff TflI m WfSmWij^ application send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: -/• Student Enterprises 329 Arlene Place / At the Waterloo House Waterloo, Ontario comer of King and Erb streets, N2J 2G5 downtown Waterloo Football Throw The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982. 15

Biz 3 Orange - The Tamiae Champs

Putting his all Into the bench press (the picture Is turned around), this athlete is one of approximately 150 Laurier athletes who competed in this year's WLU Super Sports competition. Sponsored by Carling O'Keefe and organized by a Laurier phys ed class, this competition Crowned the top athletes of the school in the male and female, varsity and non- varsity classes. See page 14 for Biz 4 Maroon - Disappointed but played well In finals. more details. Tamiae Hockey Season Draws to a Close by Hugh "Toaster" Reilly not realizing the full extent of his infamous Wilson jinx, they headed The hours dragged on and on until it would offer them the customan When the sanwicHei injury, continued to play all game. over to teammate Mike McMullen's wasapparent that there would be no sandwiches. The season ended a little earlier Rod is now wearing a sling. pad, located in Kitchener's well-to- sandwiches. didn't arrive, some unselfishly than And thei expected, as the powerful It's stories of courage like Rod's do Forest Heights district. Still they waited. The players did offered to make their own. Orangemen won two games ina row that make it into hockey Everybody was having the not want to seem impolite by Mike asked them to leave saic to oust the disappointed Maroons something about wanting to- ge scrapbooks! Joe Willis did grandest time, thanks largely to Deb running off too soon. They tried to from championship •some sleep. Some nerve!! contention. something to his ligaments that kept skill with a popcorn- amuse themselvesby spinning yarns The results thefinal McMullen's Don't forget the banquet 01 of series was "hirrf from playing in tnV The however, in the basement. Finally it as follows: popper. McMullen's Monday March 29 at 8 p.m. atWiifs championship game. violated party etiquette by not happened. Mike McMullen kicked B3 Orange 5 B3 Orange 5 All awards will be given out at tha The Maroons were in a mood to sandwiches. The team everybody out! B4 Maroons 0 B4 Maroons 2 serving time. draw their sorrowsafter their defeat. members patiently for; the The players had waitedpatiently til Shawn Leon started the series waited After aside all notions ofthe McMullens to realize their mistake. 5 a.m., hoping that the McMullen's stick, putting with a new and was even able ■ to use it on occasion. Andy r Salisbury opened up the scoring early last Wednesday, stealing the ' puck at the blue line and waltzing through the Maroondefense to tuck the puck neatly behind goaitender Kevin Day. Perry Katina and Doug Millar teamed up to score the next two Orange goals. It was 3-0 after the first. The tradition grows. Tom Land scored in the second to boost Oranges' lead to four. Doug Miller added one in the third to top, off the scoring. Roy Dimoff played an exceptional game for the Maroons, but to no avail. The game was marred by the fact that the third period of 20 minute stop-time failed to' materialize. Apparently there wasa mixup at city hall with to ice time ' regard WtfJfcjfam* g \' Wt bookings. League President, Willie 'J Ms? I ' Wilson, has assured me that that '' ■■■■' • sort of thing won't happen again. •;~ >*& Jar w Eftaak.- i" 1 Bin The seond game was 'yer basic do AT n \ft m7nm M Ti iMHMB«fe er die fer yer' Maroons. They started out in fine form, after a scoreless ■■ mmr MammW Br Jmmmßr ;'■■'"■ wWfjJ J wJaWiEwk ft* -^^^S first period. Dave Huxtable opened : O&4P&G mWWr M M-- '"'■■« mmfm wL M. MM% *■ *J» I ■>>--£-5 the scoring, from Kurtz and Gowan 2l£* .9 BHr ft "" Ifftv to give the Maroons an early lead. ' Orange snapped back with three, - and the second period ended 3-1. .Doug Millar, Andy Miller, and Jamie Kennedy were the orange goalscorers. ■ SiMaHMHi SBmMH " J f'' P^" In the final period, Willie '--■."*"- ■"■'■*'*>? a '■ ' '■■ *'■ McFarlane and Doug Millar scored ' for Orange. Bill Muirhead scored one final goal for the Maroons. Millar's was an - Doug goal empty netter. After that goal, John Sop sang his rendition of "The Party's Over", much to the glee and simay of the capacity crowd. So justsayOVOhYal The final score was 5-2 for Orange. They are the champions. There were a number of interesting asides about the final series. Rod Foster separated his shoulderduring his first shift of the first game.Rod, v 16 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 18,1982

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