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By Craig Sodaro By Craig Sodaro © Copyright 2004, PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC. PERFORMANCE LICENSE The amateur and professional acting rights to this play are controlled by PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC., P.O. Box 4267, Englewood, Colorado 80155, without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind may be given. On all programs and advertising this notice must appear: 1. The full name of the play 2. The full name of the playwright 3. The following credit line: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado.” copYinG OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY parT OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. All other rights in this play, including those of professional production, radio broadcasting and motion picture rights, are controlled by PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC. to whom all inquiries should be addressed. JOLLY ROGER AND THE PIRATE QUEEN CAST OF CHARACTERS # of lines THE AMERICANS ROGER GOODMAN ...................gentleman who transforms 163 himself into “Captain Blood” GEORGE .....................................his loyal and wise servant 77 SARAH HUFFINGTON ................Roger’s intended, thinks life 96 would be more exciting as the “Pirate Queen” KATE ...........................................her friend, also fascinated with 39 pirates BELINDA .....................................another 35 LORD HECTOR HUFFINGTON ..Sarah’s father, a rich ship 54 owner LADY EMMA HUFFINGTON .......Sarah’s mother 60 CAPTAIN BLOOD’S CREW CLAUDE ......................................not-very-qualified member of 40 Roger’s crew MAUDE ........................................Claude’s sister; cooks nothing 47 but flapjacks PARROT ......................................Claude and Maude’s youngest 21 brother, thinks he’s a parrot SNEAK ........................................another member of Roger’s 29 crew, sneaky SNAGGLE ...................................another, brother or sister of 25 Sneak and Snoot SNOOT ........................................another, brother or sister of 25 Sneak and Snaggle LONG JOHN SLIVER ..................notorious pirate, now Roger’s 107 pirate tutor THE PIRATE QUEEN’S CREW LAVERNE ....................................lady pirate 20 SHIRLEY .....................................another 12 LUCY ...........................................another 11 ETHEL .........................................another 9 ii For preview only THE ENGLISH CAPTAIN BELVEDERE ..............captain of the “Sultana” in 27 service to His Majesty, King George III BLUEBEARD AND HIS CREW BLUEBEARD ...............................another notorious pirate, 77 at least according to legend SMUDGE .....................................pirate and an artist 46 DANDY ........................................another pirate and a poet 50 KIKI ..............................................Bluebeard’s maidservant 27 MIKI .............................................another 24 CREAKY ......................................another 16 iii For preview only SYNOPSIS OF SCENES ACT ONE Scene One: Garden of Huffington Manor. One spring day. Scene Two: Deck of the “Petunia.” A few days later. Scene Three: Deck of the “Sultana.” Months later. Scene Four: Treasure Island. Several weeks later. ACT TWO Scene One: Treasure Island. A few days later. Scene Two: Treasure Island. A few days later. Scene Three: A cave on Treasure Island. Immediately after. Scene Four: Treasure Island. A short time later. SETTING TIME: The early 1790s. PLACE: The action begins at Huffington Manor along the southern seaboard of the United States and then moves to the decks of several ships and finally on to Treasure Island in the Caribbean. Huffington Manor is represented by a bench and two potted flowers, each large enough to hide behind, suggesting a garden. The deck of the “Petunia” is indicated by a railing with a life preserver, a ship’s wheel, a table and chair. The deck of the “Sultana” is played before the curtain on a bare stage. Treasure Island may be created with two or three palm trees, a beach chair and a few bushes made of cardboard or wood. The cave on the island is played before the curtain with only a cardboard rock for scenery. iv For preview only ACT ONE Scene One 1 SETTING: The garden at Huffington Manor along the southern seaboard of the United States. Spring, 1790. We see a bench CENTER and two potted flowers UP RIGHT, each large enough for someone to hide behind. 5 AT RISE: ROGER stands CENTER, fixing his hair while GEORGE, his servant, brushes his coat. ROGER: I say, George, how do you think I look? GEORGE: Splendid, Master Goodman. You’re better than a good man, sir. You’re a perfect specimen of the species. 10 ROGER: I hope Miss Sarah Huffington agrees with you. GEORGE: You, sir, are a prime catch! ROGER: I am at that. GEORGE: You’ve read all the good books. ROGER: From cover to cover. 15 GEORGE: You know all the latest dances. ROGER: Every step! GEORGE: And you’ve no bad habits or vices. ROGER: All things in moderation. GEORGE: And best of all, you’ve got plenty of plenty! 20 ROGER: I can give Miss Sarah Huffington the fine life to which she has become accustomed. GEORGE: A life of ease, waited on hand and foot by such as myself. ROGER: Exactly! Now, George, imagine that you are Miss Sarah 25 Huffington. GEORGE: Come again, sir? ROGER: I want to practice my proposal. GEORGE: I’m blushing already. ROGER: Sit down. (GEORGE sits.) Now, look demure. 30 GEORGE: (Bows his head and bats his eyes.) Oh, Roger, you bring out the beast in me. ROGER: That’ll be enough! Now, I shall say… for some time now, my dear Miss Huffington— GEORGE: My name is Sarah. 35 ROGER: Sarah. For some time now, Sarah, I have been entranced with your beauty, your radiance, your unending charms! (GEORGE takes out a handkerchief and blows his nose loudly.) Will you stop that? 1 For preview only 1 GEORGE: When you gotta blow, you gotta blow. ROGER: Oh, please, George… where was I? GEORGE: My unending charms. ROGER: Oh, yes… your unending charms. It has become clear to 5 me that I can no longer live without you. I know I am not worthy… actually, we know I am more than worthy, but it sounds good, don’t you think? GEORGE: Most humble. ROGER: That’s exactly what I was going for. Anyway, I know I am not 10 worthy, but you would make me the happiest man on earth if you would consent to give me your hand in marriage. (A pause.) Well? GEORGE: Oh, Roger, dear, I don’t know what to say! ROGER: Say yes, of course! GEORGE: I don’t know… this is a pretty important step, you know. 15 ROGER: (Impatient.) Stop! The proposal is perfect, isn’t it? GEORGE: She’ll melt like butter. ROGER: A big, oozing puddle of love! And here is the ring that will seal our betrothal! (Holds up what is obviously a large hoop earring.) 20 GEORGE: Isn’t that just a mite big for her delicate finger? ROGER: You think so? (Hears voices.) Shhhhh! Here comes the lady! I smell the delicious scent of her lavender perfume. (Sighs.) Let’s hide and listen to how she boasts about me to her friends. GEORGE: Master, do you think that’s a good idea? 25 ROGER: I’m not afraid of the truth. (He and GEORGE hide UP RIGHT behind the potted flowers as SARAH, KATE and BELINDA ENTER LEFT, giggling. SARAH carries a rolled-up poster. The GIRLS are all dressed in long dresses of the period.) KATE: Oh, Sarah, you are soooooo funny! 30 BELINDA: Any man who snatches you will get a prize! SARAH: I don’t want to be snatched by just any man! KATE: You wouldn’t mind being caught by Roger Goodman. BELINDA: He’s soooooo dreamy! SARAH: Everyone seems to think so. 35 KATE: The temperature in the room rises when he’s around! BELINDA: I know! I find myself moving my fan more quickly when he approaches me! (ROGER looks on proudly from his hiding place.) KATE: And I wouldn’t doubt it he’s coming this afternoon with a very important question for you, Sarah. 2 For preview only 1 BELINDA: The entire countryside knows he’s smitten with you. SARAH: I know. Every time he’s around me he seems to drool like a puppy. (ROGER wipes his mouth with his handkerchief.) KATE: He’s well educated, you know! He can even read and write. 5 SARAH: I know. BELINDA: He’s so handsome! Everyone stops to wonder if he’s made of flesh and blood or marble. SARAH: I know. KATE: And he’s got a chunk of change! 10 SARAH: I know. BELINDA: You don’t sound enthused. SARAH: I know. KATE: Stop saying that! What’s wrong? BELINDA: He’s due any moment and will undoubtedly ask for your 15 hand in marriage. KATE: She knows. It’s normal to be a bit nervous about such a proposal, BELINDA: Sarah. KATE: And you won’t do much better than Roger Goodman. 20 I’m not so sure! (ROGER is shocked and horrified.) SARAH: BELINDA: What? Have you found someone else? SARAH: Yes… and no. KATE: What do you mean, yes and no? SARAH: Just that. I know what type of man I want. So, yes… I’ve 25 found someone else. BELINDA: What type of man is better than Roger Goodman? SARAH: Him! (Unfolds a wanted poster for Bluebeard the Pirate. He looks like a fearsome, traditional pirate but without any skull and crossbones or parrot in the picture.) 30 KATE: But that’s a pirate! BELINDA: A vicious criminal! SARAH: I think he’s merely misunderstood. Isn’t he handsome? KATE: If you like scars. SARAH: Isn’t he dashing? 35 BELINDA: If you don’t mind getting hanged! SARAH: But you have to admit, he’s exciting! KATE: You’ve been reading too many of Lady Westerbrook’s novels. 3 For preview only 1 BELINDA: “The Pirate’s Lady” must have gotten to you. SARAH: The way the pirate king grabs Duciella and whisks her off on his pirate ship to the exotic West Indies makes my heart race so fast I think it will burst! 5 KATE: Things like that only happen in books! SARAH: I want them to happen in real life! BELINDA: Sarah! You’ve lost your mind! SARAH: No! When Roger Goodman arrives, I shall send him packing.
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