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$1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM !ohrup igfhkhhrp t VOL. 9 NO. 22 10 ADAR 5769 vum, ,arp MARCH 6, 2009

INSIDE FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK A TRAGIC VOID IN OUR MIDST

MindBiz BY LARRY GORDON Esther Mann, LMSW 28 World Of Real Estate Strange News From Inwood Anessa V. Cohen 34 Try to name the Five mier Orthodox Jewish com- It’s Just A Box After All Towns—especially if you are munities in the world is a Hannah Reich Berman 38 not from these parts—and focus of Jewish settlement. here is where you might hesi- Movement in that direction Purim Press Service tate or even get stuck. It’s by has been very slow but steady v”g inkz ruthba ic ejmh huk Vera Drunk 68 the fifth of the series— over the last few years. With Inwood, somewhat unsung, a the opening of the Yeshiva Back To Basics little forgotten, or at least not Ketana of Long Island and the Rabbi Pinchas Chatzinoff 70 thought about that often. eventual establishment and Maybe it’s the fifth town, or opening of the Shulamith perhaps it’s the first. What it School for Girls sometime in Rabbi Moshe Kotlarsky, head of the worldwide office of Chabad shelichim and grandfather of Levi Yitzchok Wolowik (inset), a nine-year-old who hasn’t been for all these years the near future, people are tragically passed away over last weekend, addressing the annual dinner of during which the Five Towns Chabad of the Five Towns on Sunday evening in Cedarhurst. Levi was the has become one of the pre- Continued on Page 22 son of Rabbi Zalman and Rebbetzin Chanie Wolowik. See Pages 16, 17 SOLVING THE MYSTERIES HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE OF MEGILLAS ESTHER Taxing Stress Osina–Fuchs wedding. BY RABBI YITZCHAK if their child married out of See Page 50 MEIR GOODMAN the faith, and still do so! B Y LARRY GORDON more can be accomplished 2. Is it really believable with more time, effort, and There are many puzzles in that Haman got permission After decades in the work- ingenuity. the Megillah, some of which from the king to kill the Jews, force, with Heavenly assis- But I’ve grown accustomed are not discussed by the without even mentioning tance I’ve finally managed to to my routine. Without shar- meforshim: whom he meant to annihi- carve out a routine that I used ing the details of said sched- 1. How can it be that our late? Would a king who ruled to dream about but never ule, let me just say here that I heroine, Esther, is forced to over a large part of the civi- thought would materialize. like sticking to it, and it marry a gentile king, and the lized world be so uninterest- I’m not saying I’m all the way unnerves and even agitates holy Megillah does not express ed that, when asked to allow there yet. Life is an unfin- me a bit when I have to depart great lamentation over this a bloodbath throughout his ished work, with added per- from it, as I had to last week tragedy? Throughout the cen- sonal and professional growth turies, Jews used to sit shivah Continued on Page 26 usually revealing how much Continued on Page 13 Purim starts early at Woodmere Rehabilitation and Health Care Center. See Page 70 The ‘Gantzeh Megillah’ Topsy-Turvy jurv chan oadv shrunu BY LEAH GOLDSMITH Our Aliyah Chronicle, Part 109 Purim comes out of a box BY SHMUEL KATZ we keep stored way up in the tip-top of our closet. Living in Israel has made us Every year when it is drip- much more sensitive to the ping wet outside and a bright seasons and the balance of our green in the valley, cold and ecology. Having grown up in windy but warm inside our the Midwest and spent the home, our kids (who have majority of my adult years in Senator Dean Skelos, grown to be my size) pull the New York, I am a true city boy. honoree at YOSS Banquet. magical box down and begin The change of seasons was See Page 57 Some of the students at the North Shore Hebrew Academy in Great Neck the ritual of the month of admired, but only for its aes- taught by Dr. Paul Brody (back row, third from right) how to read Megillas Adar. They parade through thetic beauty, not because it CANDLE LIGHTING Esther. They are displaying a special Megillah presented years ago to Dr. the house singing and danc- had any meaning to me. Rain Brody by Rabbi Yitzchok Dovid Grossman of Migdal Ohr Institutions. Rabbi March 6 – 5:34 PM Stephen Knapp (back row, left), NSHA Middle School principal, facilitates ing, happy with new additions was an inconvenience, except March 13 – 6:41 PM the students’ schedules to enable adequate practice time with Dr. Brody. See Story, Page 61 Continued on Page 18 Continued on Page 19 2 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 3 FEATURES

Around The Five Towns 51

Ask The Sensei Warren Levi 27

Classified Ads 78

Daf Yomi Insights Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow 74

Five Towns Simcha Ira Thomas Creations 50

Insights On The Torah Rabbi Yanki Tauber 40 Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah 36

Letters To The Editor 46

Luach 14

MindBiz Esther Mann, LMSW 28

Mother’s Musings Phyllis J. Lubin 17

Real Estate Anessa V. Cohen 34

That’s The Way It Is! Hannah Reich Berman 38

P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 516-984-0079 [email protected] [email protected] LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON Publisher/Editor Managing Editor YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON Sales Managers CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Editorial Assistant SIDI BARON YAKOV SERLE JERRY MARKOVITZ Sales Representatives SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Irwin H. Benjamin, Hannah Reich Berman Anessa V. Cohen, Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg Toby Klein Greenwald, Michele Herenstein Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky Shmuel Katz, Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann Rochelle Miller, Martin Mushell, Naomi Ross Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher MICHAL WEINSTEIN, BINYAMIN RHODES DOV GORDON Staff Graphic Artists IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Staff Photographers FRANKEL & CO. Design & Production TALIYE CORLEY Art Director SARAH GREENBAUM Assistant Art Director

The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly newspaper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. 4 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 5 6 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 7 8 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 9 10 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 11 12 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE Let me state unequivocally that I in some unsavory financial practices. along, so one needs to display a great Continued from Front Cover love paying taxes. I don’t see it as just Along with paying restitution to a deal of patience (and also to keep on a burden or obligation, but a privi- number of clients, he also had his paying in the meantime). for two days. I had to do two things last lege. I see it as paying a fee for living CPA license revoked. All in all, not a The day after I finished that session, week on consecutive days that took me in the greatest country in the world pleasant set of circumstances for it was back up to that neck of the away from my computer screen and my and benefiting from the opportuni- anyone involved. woods for my annual cardiac stress office. In retrospect it was bad sched- ties that are out there to be grabbed Along with his bungling and, yes, test. I know you’re thinking that I uling, the result of making appoint- if you are so inclined. I don’t care if unfortunately criminal, way of doing should have had them hook me up to ments far in advance and not taking it’s for infrastructure, the war on ter- things, he left a mess of paperwork that cardiac machine while I was at into account the other pressing items ror, education, or healthcare, we behind him. In brief, for me it meant the tax people’s office, and yes, I agree, that require my attention on those spe- should be thankful that we have the both routine and complicated paper- that’s very funny. Maybe someday, in cific days. Just canceling or postponing opportunity to be players in this vital work not filed or improperly filed. some lurid comic scene, we’ll figure these commitments was not an option, American enterprise that leads the Anyway, because at the end of the day out a way to work that out. as that lends itself to just not getting I’ve come to see this stress test as things done. somewhat of a personal physical These are the two things I had to do: equivalent of the State of the Union. First, I had a long-scheduled meeting In this case, the “union” is the person with some Internal Revenue Service I should have had them hook me whose state is being assessed. Over people in Hempstead, New York. the decade that I’ve been doing this, That’s only about nine miles from my I’ve also come to realize that this is office, so it wasn’t terribly inconven- up to that cardiac machine while I one test in life that you are not able ient or time-consuming. The next day, to study for. No tutoring, even at I found out, I was scheduled for a rou- $150 an hour, is going to get you a tine stress test at my cardiologist’s was at the tax people’s office. better grade on this one. It’s you office, also on Long Island. Both against the very world that you’ve cre- encounters were otherwise relatively ated for yourself. uneventful. If you’ve never had a conventional I started going to a cardiologist—as way for the world. he was just a common white-collar stress test, then let me just explain that I’m sure many of you also do—about True, you usually do not have to go criminal, those working for me to it involves subjecting your heart to a ten years ago, determined not to be to Hempstead to personally deliver straighten things out felt that I brief—or sometimes not so brief— one who shuns the practice until you your tax money. And that is not the should not be liable for all the penal- exercise session on a treadmill at an find out one day that all the pizza and reason I was there. If I owe them any ties that accrued. increasingly intense pace. The test ice cream you’ve been eating (if you money, I just do what you do—I send That’s the brief version of the story. assesses your heart’s ability to effec- eat that stuff) has ended up in a it in the mail. I was there because And that’s why I was in Hempstead tively pump your blood and distribute rather problematic location and is I’m still in the process of disentan- last week—to try and win back in a it to the rest of your body. This, in now threatening your earthly exis- gling myself from the mess left by a legal and proper fashion some or all essence, is what keeps you alive. tence. I know you’re thinking that the devious accountant who did a rather of that penalty money. The law is Let me just digress for a moment IRS meeting was probably more irresponsible and shoddy job of filing complicated and can go either way in and tell you that as far as I can see, stressful than that medically super- all my business and personal taxes a this area, so I have to keep on fight- there is one other experience that is vised fast-paced uphill climb on the few years ago. He was ultimately ing for what is just. The government treadmill. It wasn’t. indicted and convicted of indulging decision-making process crawls Continued on Page 14

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 13 HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE more manageable with a minimal Continued from Page 13 amount of clothes on. Come to think of it, it would probably be that much similar to a cardiac stress test, which more difficult in a suit and tie may be even more difficult than the (though I’m sure they’d allow you to one I encountered last week. That is loosen your tie). the long and also intense so-called Despite the nature of both of these first dance that is a requisite at your appointments, though, the biggest children’s weddings. I’ve been fortu- stress for me was being out of the nate to make three of them in the last office and departing from my treas- four and a half years, and I can report ured routine. I suppose also that there that in two instances I actually pre- are levels of stress sitting with an IRS pared for the weddings by running on representative, even if he is simply an the treadmill in my house for a few appeals officer. And then there is weeks prior to the weddings. For one potentially stress on top of stress of the weddings either I had no time, when you are attached to those car- it escaped me, or I just wasn’t inter- diac machines with all kinds of graphs ested, and the lack of physical prepa- and squiggly lines being produced as ration for that wedding created a most an expression of what’s going on in difficult 40-or-so minutes. the internal you. At least at the wedding I was able The way I see it, though, is that if to stay dressed. On the other hand, the cardiologist tells you to put your the cardiac stress test is probably shirt back on, you’re doing all right. The problems can conceivably begin when the IRS requests that you please CALENDAR leave your shirt with them. O Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at LUACH [email protected]. March 6-March 14 And the Breastplate ZIP Code: 11516 shall not budge 10 Adar – Erev Shabbos from the Efod Friday, March 6 Daf yomi: Bava Kamma 68 (Sh’mos 28:28) Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/tefillin: 5:28 am EST The Efod was worn in back Sunrise: 6:21 am EST and below the waist; the Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:37 am EST Breastplate, on the front Gr’a 9:13 am EST Candle Lighting: 5:34 pm EST and upper part of the wear- 11 Adar – Shabbos er.Thus, the deeper signifi- Saturday, March 7 cance of the commandment Shabbos Parashas Tetzavveh Parashas Zachor “And the Breastplate shall Shabbos ends**: 6:34 pm EST not budge from the 72 min. 7:06 pm EST Efod”(which ranks as one of 13 Adar the 365 prohibitions of the Monday, March 9 Ta’anis Esther Torah) is that there must Dawn: 5:55 am EDT Earliest Minchah: 1:36 pm EDT be no “gap” between the 14 Adar upper and lower aspects of Tuesday, March 10 life, or between its forward Purim 17 Adar – Erev Shabbos and backward elements. Friday, March 13 True, the human being con- Daf yomi: Bava Kamma 75 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 6:16 am EDT sists of both the sensitive Sunrise: 7:10 am EDT heart and the functional Latest Shema: M. Av. 9:31 am EDT foot; true, life is composed Gr’a 10:07 am EDT of sublimely spiritual Candle Lighting: 6:41 pm EDT 18 Adar – Shabbos moments as well as the Saturday, March 14 daily tending to one’s mate- Shabbos Parashas Ki-Sissa Parashas Parah rial needs. But the “Efod” Shabbos ends**: must be securely bound to 7:42 pm EDT 72 min. 8:13 pm EDT the “Choshen.” The upper

* from MyZmanim.com must permeate the lower, ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to and the external must your minhag Municipal Calendar never lose sight of its inner For 5 Towns and NYC essence and purpose. Saturday night–Sunday, March 8 (The Lubavitcher Rebbe) Daylight Saving Time begins (set clocks forward 1 hour). 14 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 15 asked him. Unfortunately, there are hours after the funeral. With much came with an utter feeling of helpless- Tears Of no answers to why this happened. reservation and bewilderment, the ness, now they felt they could help There is a void left in a family and in attendees respected and honored the make sure that the work that Zalman a community that is grieving. wishes of their rabbi and rebbetzin. and Chanie themselves, along with Sadness, Zalman and Chanie Wolowik are After the buffet, the guests took their the honorees and the community, mourning the loss of their precious seats and listened with awe as Rabbi have done for the Chabad House be son with tremendous sadness and Moshe Kotlarsky, grandfather of Levi, noted and celebrated. The memory of pain in this extreme time of dark- addressed the crowd. Levi Yitzchok would be honored with Tears Of Joy ness. Just when we thought they an evening that exemplified true endured enough pain this year, in chesed, illuminating a community that the aftermath of the Chanukah had just a few hours earlier borne wit- BY ELY BAUM Wonderland tragic accident, their ness to such extreme darkness. faith stood to be tested once again in The love and support The love and support that is being I just returned home from being the most tragic of ways. that is being demonstrated by the community of menachem aveil (comforting the This happened while they were Reb Zalman and Chanie truly mourners) Rabbi Zalman and Mrs. planning the annual Chabad of the demonstrated by the demonstrates the dinner’s theme of Chanie Wolowik—my rabbi and reb- Five Towns dinner that was held on unity in community. More impor- betzin, my leaders, and, most impor- Sunday night, whose theme was “Unity community truly tantly, it is testament to the dedica- tant, my dear friends. What they have in the Community.” Immediately after tion that the Wolowiks have given of just endured is just about the saddest Shabbos, instead of preparing for the demonstrates the themselves to this community. I am and most tragic thing anyone can go annual dinner, the Wolowiks were dinner’s theme of unity. sure if the entire community unified through. They buried their nine-year- planning the funeral of their beloved itself in strengthening the Chabad old son, Levi Yitzchok, a’h. It was only son Levi Yitzchok. House, with tzedakah, doing a couple of days ago that, like most A message was released to the pub- mitzvos, and contributing in any way children his age, Levi Yitzchok was a lic from Zalman and Chanie that, they can, this would serve as the son, a brother, a student, a friend, and despite the tragic event and despite “Today was a tragic day, but we greatest tribute to the memory of just a sweet, good boy. I know I speak their absence, the dinner should con- must honor the wishes of Rabbi Levi Yitzchok. for the community at large, and as the tinue as planned and that everyone Zalman and Chanie,” he said. In true To my dear friends Rabbi Zalman father of my own children, when I say should attend. They requested that Chabad fashion, all those in atten- and Rebbetzin Chanie, may you that his passing is very difficult to the worthy individuals who were dance began to turn the darkness into never know of sadness and pain fathom. being honored should be honored. light. Tears of sadness became tears of again, and may we all soon be Levi was a boy who excelled at They respectfully requested that their joy. While the people understood that reunited with your dear Levi, with almost anything he involved himself friends and the community should this was a sad day for everyone, they the coming of Mashiach speedily in with. His greatest qualities, however, partake in the dinner with an even also understood that nothing would our days. HaMakom yenacheim and what he will be remembered for greater fervor. Rabbi Wolowik went on pay greater tribute to the memory of eschem b’soch she’ar aveilei Tzion most, were his great, luminous smile to say that doing so would honor the Levi Yitzhok, a’h, and to Rabbi Zalman v’Yerushalayim (May Hashem, Who and his quiet, humble personality. life of his son Levi, as this is what he and Rebbetzin Chanie Wolowik and is everywhere, comfort you amongst Over the years, Rabbi Wolowik would have wanted. their family’s tragic loss. the other mourners of Zion and had answers to any question I have The dinner would take place just Whereas the dinner attendees Jerusalem). O

16 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES out for Yussie’s well-being and dren still played indoors, a terrible pain in our hearts? solation from the idea that making sure that he wouldn’t procession of hundreds of How could we dance when Levi Yitzchok is now watching A Void wander off when groups people gathered to briefly fol- Levi Yitzchok cannot? But the out for all of us from above. ended. I always felt confident low the casket and the mourn- rabbi and rebbetzin wanted His time on earth was cut Another Mother’s Musings that Levi Yitzchok had his ing family past the Chabad unity at the dinner to honor short and those behind are BY PHYLLIS J. eyes out for Yussie. Center where Levi Yitzchok Levi Yitzchok’s memory. And left bereft, but he is with L UBIN On Sunday afternoon, the had spent a majority of this so we and hundreds more Hashem and will never know activities of the Chabad of the life. He will no longer bless came out to pay homage to the pain of the toil of this No understanding. No Five Towns continued. Yussie the congregation with his the wonderful work of world. May Hashem give the explanation. I sit here trying to and Lea attended the smiling face, but his spirit will Chabad of the Five Towns and rabbi and rebbetzin and the sort out my feelings, but that Friendship Circle’s special surely live on. the Wolowik family. Both entire Wolowik family the is barely possible. A young monthly Sunday program and The rabbi and rebbetzin Rabbi Kotlarsky (Rebbetzin strength to continue the life- innocent boy, Levi Yitzchok rejoiced in the imminent insisted that everyone who Wolowik’s father) and Rabbi saving work that they have Wolowik, has been taken from arrival of Purim by making had reservations for the Teldon gave us all words of always done for our commu- this world too soon. The shock hamentashen and funny Chabad annual dinner should chizuk. of finding out the terrible Purim hats. While the chil- go. How could we go with this I can only take a bit of con- Continued on Page 21 news at the Chabad House this past Shabbos morning was indescribable. I’m trying to remind myself that there must be some higher reason that G-d only knows, but it is no consolation to me at this moment. Levi Yitzchok had a sweet, cherubic face. A pure innocent that was always helpful to his parents, to his siblings, and to his shul. Rabbi and Rebbetzin Wolowik are G-d’s emissaries on earth to guide and care for the Five Towns community, and their children have always joined them in their mission. When the question came up of whether Yussie needed a shadow at groups on Shabbos morning, Rebbetzin Wolowik said not to fear—she had put Levi Yitzchok in charge of looking

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 17 Topsy-Turvy to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. example that where there’s a will, Wearing a costume and disguising Continued from Front Cover Luckily, we manage to overcome crises there’s a way. oneself is part of the celebration of when zero hour hits. Nevertheless, Purim is the holiday that focuses Purim. Maybe it is exactly at this time stuck into this box. time is running out, as Iran’s nuclear on the display of different kinds of that we ask ourselves, “Who am I? There are costumes of Saddam capacity perfects itself. True, Purim is people with different identities. While What am I?” (I sure had an identity Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and other a time that the imagination runs wild, we live in a generation that emulates crisis last year as a friend and I dressed Hamans of the recent past who have but don’t let anyone tell you this is all celebrities, we look to our Biblical up as a camel; I was the hindquarters.) not even hidden their desire to destroy in your mind… celebrities and try and learn from In Masechet Sanhedrin (97a) it is us. We have other costumes, of Queen King Achashverosh had a wild imag- their stories year after year. That’s revealed that in the final days of the Esther, witches, Tinker Bell, Spider ination himself. He thought that it was redemption, our reality will be in such Man, a Hannah Montana wig, and over for Am Yisrael, who had been a state of topsy-turviness that what is plenty of masks, veils, and other dis- exiled to the idolatrous kingdoms of up will be perceived to be down, and guises. From the bottom of the box Babylon and Persia just short of 70 vice versa. Today we experience this in there are relics from the early days of years before his reign. They ate forbid- Our enemies keep all realms: The weather is bizarre, with Itamar, wreaths of fake flowers that den food, worshipped idols, and inter- the unusual effects of El Niño—flood- we used to adorn the head of our then married, descending to a disreputable coming at us, each ing in deserts, dryness in usually wet pet, Lolita the donkey. She led the low point. This is when Achashverosh places. The stock market is erratic, as Purim procession through the little made a great feast for all of his sub- time wearing different is the entire global economy. The row of houses. jects, using the holy vessels of the world media disguises real circum- There is a Purim that especially Temple as his silver service. Many Jews masks. Amalek is always stances, causing millions of people to stands out in my memory: the day we participated in this banquet. be brainwashed and ignorant. “This pulled off the masking tape from the Mordechai stood firm and did not overall divergence,” the Gemara says, windows and came out of the sealed give any gesture of respect to Haman, rearing its head. “will completely cover over the truth.” rooms. It was the year of Operation the evil adviser to the King. Esther, What’s up is down and what’s down is Desert Storm, when Saddam’s missiles incognito, playacted with this wicked up, like “ad d’lo yada”! flew directly over our heads and man who planned to kill her and all of The happiness we feel on Purim exploded in Israel’s coastline cities. As her people. She eventually unmasked what Purim is all about. Sometimes should surpass any level of rejoicing whole buildings were demolished, peo- her real identity to the king and over- when someone does not totally reveal we experience throughout the year. It ple walked out without a scratch. It turned the decree. Her bravado is fol- himself or herself at first, there is a is our special day, as we delight in was a low that became a high. When lowed by Am Yisrael demonstrating reason for this. This is what we learn knowing that as we dance and clap our you come to think of it, there are gevurah in driving out and killing from Esther. Also in the story of Yosef hands in joy we are abating the harsh- always missiles falling on Israel in dif- their enemies. haTzaddik, it took quite a few chap- est of decrees against us. We feel such ferent places. All the more so, it seems Shortly after this episode, a very sig- ters in that saga until he let his broth- happiness, knowing in complete faith that there are endless miracles. nificant turn of events that reshaped ers finally know who he really was. that what goes down must come up, Our enemies keep coming at us, history happened, when Ezra and Rochel and Leah’s identities were also that what is hidden will eventually be each time wearing different masks. Nechemia returned to Israel with a disguised. Sometimes, even Hashem revealed, and this is the greatest sim- Amalek is always rearing its head. As small contingent and built the Second is not mentioned in a story full of mir- chah of all. we prepare our costumes for this year, Temple. There were many more obsta- acles, as in Megillat Esther. There is a Happy Purim! O Iran is reaching the capacity of pro- cles to overcome (there was no Nefesh covering over of reality itself, like the ducing 50,000 centrifuges. This B’Nefesh then, or AACI), but they Clouds of Glory that covered Am For information about Yishuv Itamar, please visit means that right now Persia threatens learned from Mordechai and Esther’s Yisrael in the desert. www.friendsofitamar.org

18 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Our Aliyah Chronicle internal meaning. Continued from Front Cover My whole world has changed in this regard. We live in a desert. The summer in “drought years.” Even then, the real heat is unbelievable and there are parts inconvenience was in adhering to the of the country that are almost always “no watering” rules and having a brown hot. Being in the middle of the desert, lawn. with essentially only one source of We enjoyed having snow days and water (the Kinneret Lake), we are very playing in the snow with our kids conscious of its importance to our lives. (although having to shovel a rather We are also in the middle of one of large driveway as well as both side- the worst rain seasons on record walks of our corner house was defi- (January was the driest month in Israel nitely a pain) or playing “bucket hock- since they began tracking such things). ey” on our driveway in the sunny sum- As a matter of fact, we have not had mers. Weather was an experience, but “normal” rainfall in any of the winters not much more than that. that we have been living here, and the Intellectually, I understood that continued shortage keeps compounding there were farmers whose livelihood the problem. Add in the fact that the could be destroyed by a badly timed entire world (not just Israel) seems to be storm or by a bad season. I even saw facing tremendous rain shortages—with how disastrous it was one year when severe droughts in parts of the USA, there was a drought on Long Island Australia, and Asia causing food short- and a late rain came and practically ages and crop devastation—and our cur- ruined that year’s grape crop. But none rent drought takes on more significance. of that had any real consequence to Each year that we’ve been here, we me or my immediate environment, have said the special prayer for rain beyond a higher cost for water or hav- that is inserted into the Shemoneh ing to pay more for fruits or vegeta- Esreih. I have wondered who it is that bles—which even when “out of sea- determines that we should start saying son” would be generally available year it, but we have done it every year. So I round (since they were “in season” am assuming there is a system—and somewhere in the vast USA). the system is saying, “We need help!” I even understood that the weather Last year at this time I tried to keep in Israel was crucial to the country. abreast of the developments, but my With farming being a major industry in Hebrew was not up to the challenge Israel, it was obvious that rainfall was and I couldn’t find any real-time important, and as an Orthodox Jew I updates on the water levels. I knew learned quite early on that we said there was concern about the water “Mashiv HaRuach” and why. Yet it was issue, but it didn’t seem to be a dire more of an academic understanding, a religious belief without a tremendous Continued on Page 20

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 19 Our Aliyah Chronicle ting much-needed rain with the added course, know the status, and another Kinneret had risen and got several Continued from Page 19 bonus of a little-league rainout.) 12 days of the [amount of] rain we comments about it. I even found a It finally rained two weekends ago had last will ensure we pass the red terrific website to track the progress picture, just a matter for concern if and we got about 10 centimeters of line. We have been praying to get it of the water (www.water.gov.il/water/ things would get worse. At the end of water in the Kinneret. It was a begin- and hopefully more. If it were rainy console/kinnert_history.aspx). It gives the season we were above the “red ning, but not nearly enough. I began and cloudy till Pesach I would be the you what the daily change is and the line” that needs to be reached to to add a desire for rain to my happiest camper.” current water level. It prompted my ensure that we only have to conserve Facebook status, saying things like Well, the three days of rain came, sister to get me the URL of a different water instead of ration it severely. “Shmuel is looking forward to at least and they were awesome! It rained website that also gives you the short- We saw tangible results of the short- three days of rain this weekend—we and rained and rained. Of course, fall from the “Red Line” and “Full age in August when Goldie and I took need even more,” which definitely rain in Bet Shemesh is not nearly as Line” (www.kineret.org.il/main.asp), a couple of days off in Teveria. We confused people. And I even got a important as rain in the North, although the graph on that site is very went rafting on the Jordan River. The message from a friend telling me, which is what feeds the Kinneret. misleading. rafting company told us that the water “Yes, unfortunately it is another dis- But rain in our area is an indirect On my Monday-morning train ride was extremely low and apologized that gusting day of sunshine. I cannot help, providing water for all things to Yerushalayim, I made a point of in several areas we would have to get wait for the rains to return and those that grow in the ground and elimi- looking out the window as we out of the raft and push it because the approached the station. Just outside water was so low. And we did. the train there is a seasonal stream We hoped things would improve. formed each spring by the runoff of They didn’t. As I mentioned, this the rains. When it rains, the water past January was the driest one on runs strong, but within hours it dries record, and the media has been Within a few days of my return to up. It was flowing well, something I abuzz with how dire the situation had not seen in quite a while. was. We were significantly below the Israel I was again looking for rain That stream feeds into another lower “red line,” and a major crisis stream, which flows continuously was brewing. throughout the year. On my way home After months of hearing about how and getting sick of the sun. that afternoon I took a look at that terrible things are and personally second river and was amazed. And noticing the absolute absence of rain, very excited. it began to grate upon me. In the USA, The second stream was not only beautiful sunny weather is the prefer- beautiful stormy skies with the nating the need to use Kinneret flowing strong, I could see that the ence. But I began to be disgusted with delightful sounds of water pouring water for irrigation or watering. stream was clearly swollen with water. it—every day, sunny and clear. outside my window.” Yet when the dust (or, in this case, I could see grass and bushes growing I will admit that I did miss the pleas- I originally thought he was joking, rain clouds) settled, the level of on the banks of the stream that were ant climate when I went to the USA. and I made a comment about how he water in the Kinneret had risen by 30 partially submerged in the water. And Snow? Freezing cold? Definitely not needed to understand how serious centimeters—the most water ever to it was exhilarating. I couldn’t believe what I was looking forward to when I the situation was. He replied, fall in a single rain event since we that seeing water would be so stimulat- traveled. Yet, within a few days of my “Unfortunately, you think I am jok- began to track such things. It was ing, but it is. return to Israel I was again looking for ing. I meant truthfully what I said. I terrific, and it seemed as if everyone So I hope and pray for more and rain and getting sick of the sun. am completely sick of sunny days and was talking about it. more rain to come our way. We are (Friday rain was a specific desire—get- they are not beautiful to me. I, of I posted updates of how much the now only 83 centimeters from the

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20 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES lower red line, and the runoff from neighbors and very close friends ing—he wanted to serve. So he pulled who was peeved that I left his name the prior rain has not yet settled into Yehuda and Carolyn Deutsch on the some strings to be assigned to a field out of the paper when telling a recent the river. Six or seven days of this and birth of their first daughter, Rochel unit (we don’t know where). story about him. So please, everyone we will pass the red line comfortably. Avigail. Enjoy her. However, in the end, they saw make a point of mentioning to him We’ll still be 5+ meters from the nor- A special mazal tov also goes to my through him and he was assigned as a that you saw his name in the paper. O mal values, but we will have averted nephew Yonatan, who graduated from commander for new recruits in basic the worst. So don’t forget to keep us commander training this week. He training. He now has to do the entire Shmuel Katz is the director of Yeshivat Eretz HaTzvi in the Katamon neighborhood in in your mind when you are did so well that the training school training over again with them, this Jerusalem. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six davening—we can use the help. requested that he stay on as a teacher time as their sergeant. children made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to N NN his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of for future trainees. He declined. He And finally, special Shabbat Shalom the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can As we approach Purim, Goldie and I didn’t want to waste his time teach- wishes to my good friend Dov Herman, contact him at [email protected]. wish you all simchat Purim and hope that if not this Purim, then certainly by next Purim we should all be celebrating Purim together with a huge seudah in a rebuilt Yerushalayim. A special mazal tov to our former

Mother’s Musings Continued from Page 17 nity. And may Levi Yitzchok’s soul watch over all the children and keep them safe. O

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected].

At 5TJT.com you can enjoy articles in 3 ways: 1. Read 2. Print 3. Email

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 21 FROM THE EDITOR Shulamith School in Inwood. It also parks, churches, post office, and banks steps being taken have the footprints Continued from Front Cover makes reference to the already func- as well as the Five Towns Community of the rabble-rousing of similar cam- tioning, impressive campus of the Center will be become theirs if we paigns in past years. not just giving Inwood a second look; Yeshiva Ketana. don’t take action.” The pastor of the church in Orthodox Jews are actually starting to Inwood where a meeting took place buy homes and are moving in. on February 25 distanced himself And that’s a good thing. It appears, from any involvement in this type of however, that not everyone sees it behavior. The Community Bible that way. When I mentioned to the pastor that I did Church of Inwood on Doughty Last week, a neighbor went out to Boulevard is led by pastor Timothy shop for some small food items late at Broberg. I spoke with him on Monday night at one of those all-night grocery not believe that an Orthodox population night and read him parts of the flyer stores near the train station in that was being circulated, and he Inwood. Into the bag with his few seemed pretty astounded by its con- items was placed a rather poor but would be worshipping at the church, he tent. He said the church only opened readable copy of a two-sided flyer its doors to the community group so relating information about a new they could meet there, but that the community organization. indicated that this was good too, because church had no involvement at all in Had we not already experienced this effort. some mostly inconsequential but Broberg said that he believed that nevertheless unnerving bluster of a “it will broaden my mission field.” the concern of residents was about similar nature in other forums over “parking disruptions” and “noise and the years, the content of this com- pollution” from buses coming and muniqué would be shocking. The going. He said that he does not title of the flyer is “Shut Them In part, this is what it says: “Sale of On the surface this type of rheto- believe that it is a “black/white issue,” Down, Shut Them Down.” The refer- some district schools have already ric and the use of stereotypical and and that if it were he would condemn ence is specifically to the property been taken from our children and gone classical anti-Jewish verbiage is such conduct. He said, in fact, that purchased for the location of the to Jewish organizations. Soon our nothing less then scurrilous. The he would welcome more Orthodox Jews moving into the area because that would be good for his church. When I mentioned to the pastor that I did not believe that an Orthodox population would be worshipping at the church but would rather attend a synagogue, he indicated that this was good too, because “it will broaden my mission field.” The flyer distributed in the Inwood grocery and at other locations goes on to say, in reference to a planned meeting: “We will have present at the meeting our lawyer and the lawyers of the new owners of the all-girls school from Brooklyn. During this time we will stop, change, or downsize this takeover of our community. Let’s save one block at a time.” Political leaders and community officials have been shown the flyer, and reaction has been uniform. Mostly it’s disbelief at its discrimina- tory nature coupled with chagrin that, as one official put it, “people can act so stupidly.” The Five Towns Jewish Times received a call on Sunday from a relative of an Orthodox Jewish resident of Inwood who said that two people had knocked on his door that same day to try to enlist his support for the effort to keep the Orthodox Jews out of Inwood. The person said that his relative had a long conversation with the visitor and took issue with their contention that a new Jewish school or Orthodox Jewish residents were bad for the neighborhood. For one, he maintained, if the Orthodox come in it will probably push up the value of the neighborhood homes. The visitor was not convinced, and he left. Pastor Broberg said that he believed that the alleged effort to “save one block at a time” from the Jews, of course, was not a local effort or one that originated in his church. He said that he believed that organizers from outside of Inwood had come into the area to spur on the neighborhood and

Continued on Page 24 22 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 23

FROM THE EDITOR year people had approached example of a sloppy attempt improve conditions in an what they are doing first and Continued from Page 22 the church to ask if they to overdo it, two of the items otherwise rather depressed foremost displays colossal wanted to sell their property. on the list are the same. area, the “All Girl’s School” ignorance and, second, is organize the community He wasn’t sure whether it Number 2 on the list is flyer’s last line is a plea from probably illegal. O group. was for a synagogue or a “expansion and height of the group, which exhorts: In all fairness, Mr. Jewish school. building,” while number 13 “Let’s stop these changes Comments for Larry Gordon are Broberg said that he under- On the flip side of the is “no height change in that will never reverse.” welcome at [email protected]. stood that Jewish people flyer, headed by the words existing building.” On the surface, this entire were knocking on doors in “All Girls School,” there is a A local official who campaign smacks of the Inwood asking people if they list of concerns, numbered 1 received the letter by fax worst kind of prejudice And you shall wanted to sell their homes. through 14. Among the con- from the 5TJT responded via against Jews. More likely it’s Granted, that is not such an cerns listed is an obvious e-mail that he was absolutely a result of the work of outside command… unusual practice and is one attempt to make the effort shocked by what he was agitators exploiting people (Sh’mos 27:20) that is commonly practiced that seems tinged with overt reading. In what can be who think it’s popular to keep by real-estate brokers. He prejudice sound like gen- characterized as a fear of Jews out of a neighborhood, Tetzavveh is the only parashah also said that during the past uine civic concern. In an change that would only even if it is 2009. Either way, in the Torah since Moshe’s birth in which Moshe’s name does not appear (with the exception of the book of Devarim, which consists wholly of a first-person narrative spo- ken by Moshe).The reason for this is that [when the people of Israel sinned with the Golden Calf] Moshe said to G-d:“If You do not [forgive them], erase me from the book that You have written” (Sh’mos 32:31).This was realized in the parashah of Tetzavveh, since the censure of a righteous person, even if made conditional on an unful- filled stipulation, always has some effect.

(Baal HaTurim)

24 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 25 Megillas Esther Achashverosh” in verse 2. Should it ally left it out. (For example, the verse which a clever Talmudic-type Jew Continued from Front Cover not have immediately started with in 4:14 practically cries out for G-d to would see. He describes all the girls “King Achashverosh”? be mentioned, yet Mordechai circum- in the “contest” as gathering to 127 provinces, he would not at least 6. After introducing Mordechai for vented it in the strange phrase “relief Shushan (2:8), while in the same ask who the target was? And how the first time as “the Yehudi” (2:5), and salvation for the Jews will come verse states that Esther “was taken.” does this fit with the statement in the why does the Megillah identify him from someplace else.”) To make sure that his brethren would Talmud (Megillah 14a) that several times more as “Mordechai the Once we recognize that this was the realize the significance of this verb, Achashverosh was as much an anti- Yehudi” (8:7 and three times in close only book in Tanach that was meant he repeats it in verse 16, where she is Semite as Haman? How did Chazal proximity at the very end of the for public reading, including non-Jews, “taken” to the king. Previously know this? Megillah)? We never find such an all our questions begin to evaporate: (v.13–14), all the girls were described 3. We are told by Chazal that attachment with any other Jewish hero 1. Of course Esther wept and as “coming” to the king’s house (i.e., Mordechai was a descendant of King in the entire Tanach! Mordechai bemoaned the situation with great anticipation). We can only Shaul. When listing Mordechai’s All these questions can be answered that brought her to the palace and hope that Jews throughout the cen- ancestors (“ben Yair ben Shimi ben with one principle, basically estab- eventually placed her on the throne. turies noticed this point. Kish”), why does the Megillah not lished by Ibn Ezra at the beginning of He surely prayed long and hard that 2. Of course the king asked Haman include Shaul’s name? the Megillah, but with a small varia- she return home as soon as possible. whom he wanted to annihilate. 4. We all know that Haman was an tion. He gives the classic answer to But how could Mordechai dare to Mordechai wrote no false statement in Amalekite. Why is he exclusively the best-known question raised about describe, to the king’s subjects all over this dialogue, but merely skipped the described as an Agagi, or as the son of the Megillah, i.e., why is G-d’s name his kingdom, this “victory” of Esther’s meaty part of it. We can imaginatively Hamdasa, without once clearly not- absent from the entire work? He as a tragedy? They would be furious to fill in the missing three verses: “And ing that he was from Amalek, our posits that when Mordechai wrote it, hear that this lady was unhappy to be the king said to Haman, ‘About whom archenemy? it was with the clear understanding queen, and would scream for her to are you talking?’ And Haman respond- 5. Why does the Megillah begin that it would be rendered in many lan- be removed, or even executed! ed, ‘I speak of the abominable Jews.’ with such an awkward phraseology? It guages for the entire population of the Nevertheless, he knew that his own And the king smiled and said, ‘Of opens with “…in the days of king’s provinces to read. Mordechai brethren must know the true facts. So course you may dispose of those Achashverosh,” then “he was the feared that the translators would he cleverly hid the truth in carefully obnoxious people, with my blessings.’” Achashverosh who rules…,” and final- change G-d’s name to the name of constructed verbiage which the gen- Now we can fully understand that ly states that he is “the King their respective idols, so he intention- tiles would never take note of, but Chazal, who knew this by tradition, reveal in the Talmud, for Jewish eyes alone, the secret of the king’s true feelings. In a meaningful parable, they compare Haman and Achashverosh to two neighbors who discuss their problems with each other. One complains that he has a huge pile of dirt in his back yard and has no idea where to ship it. The other describes a great hole that opened in his yard for which he needs filler. Happily each solves the other’s problem. So too (explains Rav Shimon Moshe Diskin in his classic Midrash Shimoni), one of them (Haman) saw the Jews as lowly creatures. Achashverosh hated them for their superiority. This secret could not be recorded by Mordechai for obvious reasons. If the people of his kingdom realized that Achashverosh had such a negative opinion of the Jews, and only defended them for the sake of his wife (nepo- tism) and because a Jew named Mordechai had once saved his life, they would also see the Jews as inferi- or people. How much more palatable to picture the dead Haman as the dia- bolical villain and present the king as a lover of the exalted Jewish people! (A most revealing essay written many decades ago by a high-ranking American politician described a similar situation. After World War II, many war criminals were tried and sen- tenced. But one major one was allowed to “escape” any punishment—the emperor of Japan. For political expediency, he was portrayed as entirely beyond the policies of his generals and admirals, although it was known that he fully participated in all major decisions. The allies felt that bringing him to trial would foster the eternal enmity of the Japanese people, who viewed him as divine. For the sake of the future Japan, he remained on his throne. Expediency also governed Mordechai’s decision in the Megillah, while he left it to the oral Torah to tell us the truth.) 3 & 4. A Jew who knows Tanach can recognize from “ben Kish” that Mordechai, of the tribe of Binyamin,

Continued on Page 67 26 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

AskBY WARREN The LEVISensei

Q. Dear Sensei Warren: My child has a “family” goal and working together very low self-esteem. Would karate help? towards this goal is a great way to start. A. Below are two tips on how a parent By doing this, you show children the can help to develop and shape a child’s opportunities that become available to self-esteem. The “tips” are merely guide- people who have discipline! lines that you may follow. These tips are Training in karate instills routine and encompassed in the instruction at discipline and helps to attain a goal by Warren Levi Karate. Tip #1: Always, always, do what you say you are going to do. Your children learn from every encounter with you, Inspire your even if it’s not what you want them to learn! If you tell a child that a certain children to dream behavior will cause them to be punished, you must follow through, failing which, you are effectively teaching your child to big dreams and to disobey! Warren Levi Karate has a set of reg- think boldly about ulations that are required to be followed to ensure that students are disci- their future. plined, focused, and not in conflict with themselves. This is imperative to enable them to “follow through” instructions on self-defense techniques. working towards becoming a black belt. Tip #2: Paint an exciting future for This is done by breaking this goal down your children by helping them to set into smaller steps by working towards dif- and attain goals. Inspire your children ferent colored belts to achieve this. This to dream big dreams and to think boldly further instills a strong message that you about their future. Help them to visual- have to work to attain a goal. O ize what achieving their “high goal” would be like, and help them to break For any comments or questions or for a free trial lesson, please call 516-569-0808. You may also this down into achievable steps. visit www.warrenlevikarate.com or send an Depending on your child’s age, setting a e-mail to [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 27 Dear Esther, and then, even a one-man band. What I live in the Five Towns area and started out as a $10–$20 out-of-pocket have a situation that is getting compli- expense was suddenly becoming a cated. It’s like this. I would say that I’m $75–$100 investment. And that’s not to friendly with a group of about 15 mention the obligatory “chipping in” for women. We’ve all, more or less, been flowers for the l’chayim, vort, Shabbos friendly for many years. As we’ve kallah or aufruf, and, of course, the watched one another’s children grow engagement and wedding gifts. up, we’ve gotten very involved in cele- And if that weren’t enough, now our brating each other’s simchas. It started friend’s children are having children. out nicely enough. Someone would Once again, I find myself being expected have a baby, and we might cook a meal to chip in for flowers for the shalom for them or bring over some home- zachor and/or b’ris, contribute a beauti- made cookies for a shalom zachor. ful cake or fruit platter, and let’s not for- Simple, from the heart, and nice. get the gift. Now that we’re moving through the I’m really feeling the pressure of it all bar mitzvah stage and are heavily into and I know there is a serious problem the wedding stage, the situation has here. I happen to know that the hus- really gotten out of hand. For instance, band of one of my friends has been out when the first of our group made a wed- of a job for four months now, and anoth- ding, we got together in one of our er one’s husband has some serious busi- homes to make a sheva berachos meal. ness problems. Yet they continue to be a One person picked up the bagels, some- part of all of these arrangements. They one else made a salad or two, another seem petrified to not participate, G-d person picked up some lox—you get the forbid. I don’t know where the money is picture. Simple and sweet. We arrived coming from and who is suffering as a in casual clothes, feeling relaxed, and result. I have to wonder what is going on everyone enjoyed the simcha. in this neighborhood—or is it all neigh- Over the years, each and every sheva borhoods? berachos seems to have raised the bar. Recently my husband started looking Before we knew what was happening, at how much money we were spending they were taking place in restaurants. Suddenly, centerpieces were necessary; Continued on Page 30

28 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 29 MINDBIZ Continued from Page 28

on all of our friends and he declared a moratorium. Or, to quote him, he said, “That’s it. No more. We’re finished participating in all of these simchas. We’re going to have our own simchas coming up soon enough, and at this rate there will be no money left to even make a Kiddush.” OK, so he’s exaggerating a little. But I know that something about this setup is really out of control. He wants me to just say no to any and all requests for “chipping in.” I have to say that I don’t know if I’m capable of saying no. I guess I don’t want anyone to think that I’m cheap. I don’t want to feel left out from the group and be afraid that my friends will talk about me in a negative way. How do I find the nerve to do what I know in my heart is the right thing to do, so I can satisfy my husband yet still have friends? Feeling Strapped Dear Strapped, I’m really glad that you wrote this letter to me, because I suspect that many people reading it are applauding you for saying exactly what they’ve been thinking but unwilling to address. You bring up so many excellent points and I will try to address the most glaring issues that I’m hearing. So, what’s the deal with this current need to give and give and give and give? After all, we’re not talking about chari- ty here. We’re talking about trying to impress, trying to be a player, trying to prove to oneself and to others how very popular we are and being afraid of making any waves. What is this really about? Somewhere along the way, I’m afraid many people have lost their confidence, their individuality, and their ability to express their sincere feelings. And where is the honesty, when it comes to expressing how frivolous so much of this really is? You say that you are friendly with a group of 15 women. How many of those 15 women are truly your soul mates? Think about this: If you had to move to Alaska tomorrow, how many of them would you feel compelled to speak to at least once a week, because you are so very connected to them? And how many would eventually fall to the sidelines because you really weren’t all that close to them in the first place? Be honest. Would you keep up with two? Three? If you’re extremely unusual and blessed, maybe five? Those few are the individuals that you should be on the front lines with, helping out during their times of simchas (not to mention the flip side). The others are negotiable. If you get a call and are asked to chip in $75 in order to be part of a sheva berachos celebration for someone within the greater group, find the courage to take a pass. No apologies necessary. Ask if it would be OK for you to pop in during dessert to wish everyone a “mazel tov,” if you feel it’s important to make some sort of appearance. Be discriminating and make your decisions based on what really feels right for you—and not based on fear of being judged. After all, anyone who judges you because of how much you are willing or able to

Continued on Page 32 30 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 31 MINDBIZ Continued from Page 30

spend is probably not someone you should be seeking out as a real friend. Regarding the handful of really close friends that you may have, become a leader rather than a follower. Get back to basics. Take the initiative for the next sheva berachos and suggest a cozy, at- home, simple homemade brunch, which can certainly exude the very same amount of love and caring as does a far more expensive, often uptight, elaborate affair. Furthermore, for these same individuals who are so very near and dear to you, you may want to decide where to put your money. Do you need to chip in for flowers for the aufruf if you’ve already chipped in for the vort? Do you need to purchase an engagement gift, a vort gift, and a wedding gift? Pick and choose. Again, it’s about the love and not about the stuff. Your friend won’t think that you care any less about her just because you didn’t order custom-made cookies for the vort. Instead, stop by and assist her in the setting of her table or be available on an emotional level to help calm her nerves if she’s feeling overwhelmed. There are many ways to show how much you care, and the most important ones are free. Whether we’ve come to this place because of the many years of wine and roses that many in our community have enjoyed, or because so many people inherently feel the need to keep up and ultimately outdo, we’ve gotten ourselves into a difficult situation in many ways. Though so many of us are truly hurting financially right now, we will eventually look back on this period of time and hopefully be able to see some silver linings. Perhaps one of them will be the real- ization that our need to keep up and impress was motivated by character traits that aren’t all that admirable. So for now, encourage scaling down as the new reality—a reality that is based on confidence and logic. Take the lead and show others how it’s done. Become the voice of reason. Your husband will thank you, your friends will ultimately thank you, and you will feel a lot better about yourself. Esther

Esther Mann, LMSW, has a private practice in Lawrence. Esther is a psychotherapist and life coach and can be reached at 516-314-2295 or [email protected]. She works with individuals, couples, premarital couples, and families. 32 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 33 those who are “irresponsible” for tak- When a gym in Nassau County is ing out mortgages that they couldn’t packed with brand-new personal afford in the first place. The simple trainers because recent college gradu- fact of the matter is that hundreds of ates on Long Island can’t pass an thousands of professionals are being interview given by an H-1B [visa hold- laid off so that their prior employers er] who can’t speak English, I resent can now outsource and insource our the inference that these people are all Responsible Or Irresponsible? economy to death. irresponsible. When an MBA with 15 years’ expe- Along with the fact that most Jews rience can afford a mortgage in don’t hire Jews! Last week I spoke of the presi- I believe that much of what the August 2008 and then is laid off in Yes, I guess all of us professionals are dent’s stimulus plan and the portion writer of the e-mail says is important October 2008 to be replaced by any- so irresponsible, aren’t we! of the plan that specifically pertains for all of us, including those who body who is not a U.S. citizen, and —Name Withheld to housing. I laid out the particulars have been affected and are in trou- then those laid off can never find My answer is as follows: of the plan and the different avenues ble, and who may feel they are alone another job, I resent the inference First, let me say that I agree with 90 the administration is offering to and that others who are not having that that person is irresponsible. percent of what you say above. That shore up the at-risk housing and difficulties are insensitive to their When 99 percent of Brooklyn being said, if you had read many of my foreclosure situation across the previous articles where I spoke of the country, which continues to cause “irresponsible” versus the “responsi- economic havoc. This plan is very ble,” you would understand that when specific in speaking of the “responsi- I speak of the irresponsible borrower, I ble” and “irresponsible” homeowner When only three accounting am not speaking of the situations or borrower, and it assumes that described in your letter. An irresponsi- everyone understands the differences ble borrower is: between them, without going into graduates get a job, I resent the • Someone earning minimum wage any details of who is responsible and going for a 100 percent mortgage on who is irresponsible. inference that all the other an $800,000 house without a hope of I received an e-mail from a read- making even the first payment. er this week which made me realize • Someone going for a MAT loan of that even though we may have in graduates are irresponsible. $700,000 because it starts out with a the past pointed out some of the teaser rate of 1%, even though they differences between responsible know it changes to 8% the following and irresponsible borrowers, we year, but figuring it will all work out even have not discussed it at any length plight. Here is what the reader said: College graduates continue their edu- though they can only afford to make pay- recently. With so many responsible Dear Anessa, cation because they can’t get an inter- ments on a $200,000 mortgage. borrowers now feeling the pain of I appreciate the content of your arti- view, I resent the inference that these • Someone taking out a mortgage the trickle-down chaos caused by cle that explains how homeowners such graduates are all irresponsible. of $500,000, interest-only for two the irresponsible borrowers, this as myself will possibly be saved from los- When only three accounting gradu- years, unable to afford the payments left the possibility of a mispercep- ing our homes. It is the opening attitude ates from YU in 2008 get a job, I resent in the third year (which include inter- tion about who is irresponsible and of your article that I beg to differ with. the inference that all the other gradu- est and principal) but figuring that who is considered responsible. I am fed up with hearing about ates are irresponsible. G-d will provide.

34 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES • Someone who can barely afford to s”xc pay a rental of $200 a month on a two- room apartment deciding to buy a $300,000 house with a $2,500-a- month mortgage payment and then crying when, after six months of making no mortgage payments, the house is taken from them. • Someone who has terrible credit, with a host of collection accounts and bankruptcies on their credit report caused by debts consistently piled up and unpaid, going for a B/C mortgage (secondary market for problem credit) to purchase a house, and being given a mortgage for high interest for 100 percent of the value of the house, and then being shocked when the house goes into foreclosure for non-payment of the mortgage. • Someone who has a mortgage they can afford and who is living comfortably in their home, but decides that since the value of their house has jumped, they will refi- nance and use the extra equity they receive (from a mortgage they now cannot afford to carry) for vacations and the purchase of a second home or an investment home—and then wants the government to bail them out from their irresponsibility even though they have already cashed in and received monies for more than the existing value of their home. It is the irresponsibility of the hundreds of thousands of borrowers in the above situations who then went into foreclosure that has caused hundreds of thousands of responsible borrowers to be put into positions in which they could not continue to hold onto their homes or pay their own mortgages, in a catastrophic domino effect shooting through the economy. The “irresponsible borrower” should not be misconstrued to mean someone who has suddenly been laid off from their job, or someone who has suddenly become ill and can no longer work, or someone who cannot sell their home at a price that will cover their existing mortgage because the values have dropped so radically as a result of all the foreclo- sures on the market. I sincerely believe that the government and the banks have an obligation to help all the responsible borrowers who have been hurt by the banks’ creation of a system that allowed those irresponsible borrowers to turn the economy upside down. However, it is my feeling (and I am sure others feel this way, too) that it is not fair that in order to fix anything, those irresponsible borrowers who should never have been given those loans to begin with are to be rewarded for their behavior. Unfortunately, we really do not have a choice; since the mess they caused is so massive, at this point nothing can change if some of their situations are not fixed as well. Many in this country commiserate with you in your concern about the outsourcing and loss of jobs due to the issuance of H-1B visas, believing that it should be stopped or at least controlled, with such visas utilized only in extreme situations (meaning

Continued on Page 37 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 35 Mishnas Chayim On The Parashah

Lots To Talk About amongst these epic events. Why did the Megillah see fit to name this yom tov for Kindly take a moment to study Mishnas Chayim in the merit of Faiga Mindel bas Moshe, a’h, a the lots that were cast in the course of fellow Jew who passed away with no relatives to the events described in the Megillah? arrange Torah study on behalf of her neshamah. This issue may be clarified by examin- ing the topic of lots in general, a subject What’s in a name. Purim. Mention which appears in various places through- of its name immediately brings to mind out the Talmudic and halachic literature. a familiar, festive atmosphere and an A prime example exists in connec- exciting narrative. Many are also aware tion with the Beis HaMikdash. The of the origins of the holiday’s name. The daily service began with the terumas Megillah itself (Esther 9:24–26) states ha’deshen (removal of coals and ashes that “Purim”—meaning “lots”—is a ref- from the Altar). The Mishnah in Yoma erence to the lottery conducted by the (2:2) delineates the method employed wicked Haman in selecting the date of in selecting the kohein who would per- the planned extermination of the Jews. form this initiating task: “The rabbis His scheme was reversed, and Haman instituted that the privilege of perform- found himself hanging from the very gal- ing the terumas ha’deshen would only lows he had prepared for Mordechai. be determined through lots.” What might not be so familiar, howev- What passed for entertainment in er, is the significance of this name. What the 17th century. Halachic-responsa lit- exactly is the big deal about lots? The erature records an interesting episode of Purim story is a gripping account of a lottery conducted many years ago: peril, heroism, and salvation. The aspect of the lots seems to be but a minor detail Continued on Page 44

36 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE Continued from Page 35 that there is absolutely no other choice). The Wall Street Journal has been writing about the pressure in Congress to address the inequities and misuse by employers of this option, and the stress being put to tighten its regulation and how its cav- alier use by employers is affecting American professionals. Although as a rule I do not get into the issues of jobs going to foreigners and layoffs, since I focus my articles on real estate and mortgaging, I will address some of the points that you mentioned, in case any other people might have misunderstood. Insofar as Jews not hiring other Jews, I do not think this is true in the majority of cases. We are seeing tremendous efforts being made, and there are groups like the OU and Project Eliezer that are specifically addressing all avenues of assistance in finding jobs and support for those who have lost work. Special job-post- ing sites as well as job fairs are regularly offering jobs and are soliciting new avenues of employment opportunities that they can add to their offer- ings. The rabbis of the community are speaking to people every week about hiring possibilities as well as raising monies to help those in the community affected by the layoffs in this economy. Hopefully this will all, at the very least, help those affected to hold on until new job opportunities open up for them. These are difficult times and we all have to stick together, hopefully leaving no one behind, until times get better. I would like to reiterate that someone who has been laid off from work and left with no available means of continuing to pay their mortgage or other obligations is not what the government is calling an “irresponsible” borrower. On the contrary: because these borrowers who have always paid their way in a responsible manner are now being hurt because of the irresponsibility of others, the government is finally coming forward and offering them some assistance in getting back on their feet, and none too soon! O

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker (A.C. Action Mortgage Corp.) with over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial real-estate services in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to [email protected].

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 37 It’s Just A Box After All

Life is funny. We might walk down few days before, but suddenly, the street, spot someone we recog- because he’s on television, we’re now nize, and wave hello without giving as acting as if he’s royalty—or, at the much as a thought to it. For that mat- very least, a top-rated celebrity—and ter, we may bump into somebody as we’re sorry there’s no one else in the we’re traipsing up and down the house but the two of us. If there were supermarket aisles and stop for a brief a third party around we could point chat without making a fuss over that, to the screen and proudly proclaim, either. Or we may see an acquain- “See that guy? We know him!” Duh! tance in shul on Shabbos morning or Big deal! have a chance meeting with this same Arnie and I know a very sweet, person during the week while waiting low-key, and likeable guy in our to fill our gas tank at a service station. neighborhood, whom we’ll call Terry. None of those meetings or sightings Terry often appears on television to would be in any way significant and, give his expert opinion on money most of the time, as soon as the per- matters. It doesn’t matter one whit son is out of sight, he or she is also that I actually have no idea what out of mind. We never give it another Terry’s title is. Although I do know it thought. It’s an everyday, pleasant has something to do with finance, I interlude and that’s the end of the don’t really understand just what he story—maybe! does. For people like this, should I But if that same person should happen to be asked what he does for happen to appear on our television a living, I answer honestly and with screen, all bets are off! Whoa! all the sophistication I can muster, Suddenly, we’re glued to the televi- “Oh, it has something to do with sion set, screaming at anyone within finance.” earshot to “Come quick, look who’s He, unfortunately, is not the only on TV!” I have no idea why we do young person today who holds a job that. But we do it! At least it’s what that baffles me. I have nieces and my husband Arnie and I do. We may nephews who fall into the same cate- have just seen this fellow in person a gory. And if the truth be told, I don’t

38 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES understand what it is that some of my own offspring do for a living. But I get around that the same way. My mantra doesn’t change: “It has something to do with finance.” The phrase has served me well. Most people don’t question me further. This is either because they’re being kind and don’t want to “out” me as a mother who has no clear idea how her child earns his living, or because they don’t understand these things any better than I do. But I digress. Getting back to our illustrious neighbor, not only do I not know what Terry’s title or job description is, I also don’t understand half of what he says when he’s interviewed. But does that stop me from being impressed? Absolutely not! And does that stop me from remaining glued to the screen until his image disappears? No to that as well! And it doesn’t end there. If someone should happen to phone me at that moment—and if the caller is also acquainted with this newly minted television personality—the first words out of my mouth are, “I can’t talk now. Quick, turn on channel thirteen, Terry is on.” Over the years, I’ve see him in the neighborhood on many occasions. And after a warm greeting or a friendly nod, we’ve walked past each other with the sole impression on my part being nothing more than he’s a nice friendly guy! But if three days later I should happen to see him on television—obviously not for the first time—my fascination starts all over again. Suddenly, in my mind, the guy has star power. What repeatedly escapes me is that this fellow isn’t any different than any of the people I know. He’s an ordinary human being. In fact, he happens to be more humble than most. He’s doesn’t act any different- ly. It’s obvious that he isn’t impressed with himself because he appears on television. But I am! If I could just think of the television screen as a “talking picture” in a frame, it might help me to get past this juvenile attitude. If I’m not careful I could become a groupie. The good news is that, so far, I’ve refrained from asking for his autograph. I hope I can hold out and not do that in the future. It would be nice to continue to maintain some semblance of the dignity that becomes a mature woman. But who knows? Hubby doesn’t need to worry about an autograph debacle. He’s not going to make a fool of himself over the fact that he happens to know Terry, and that Terry appears with increasing regularity on a national television news program. That’s because Hubby is more sophisticated than I am. It’s also because he sees Terry only on Shabbos, when signatures of any kind aren’t an issue. I, on the other hand, might have a sighting on a weekday, and if I’m not mindful, I may well end up appearing quite foolish. Does anyone have a pen and a piece of paper? O

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-902-3733. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 39 From The Chassidic Masters Beautiful Noise

A rich man once invited a beggar to way through the feast. share his meal. In the kitchen, the cook remarked The host settled quietly into his to the butler: “At last, a man who seat and tucked his linen napkin appreciates fine cuisine! The master beneath his chin. The guest, finding may be indifferent to the finer things himself supported by silken cushions in life, but his guest! What passion! instead of the usual hard bench, How involved he is, how worshipful sighed in surprised pleasure; with of quality. Now, here is a man with a much creaking and squeaking he bur- sense of the sublime…” rowed into the chair, determined to “You are mistaken,” countered the savor its opulence to the utmost. butler. “The very opposite is true. The soup arrived and proceeded to The rich man’s tranquillity indicates make its casual way down the rich the depth of his involvement with his man’s gullet. Across the table, a dinner, while the pauper’s noisy frontal attack was being launched excitement only underscores how against the delicate china bowl; the alien all this is to him. To the rich heavy silver spoon clanged and man, luxury is the very essence of swooped, carrying every precious life; so he no more exclaims over it drop of steaming gold to an audibly than you jump for joy upon finding eager mouth. The subsequent assault yourself alive in the morning. But for on the steak platter was no less the poor man, life is a boiled potato, enthusiastic. As the wealthy man and this is an other-worldly experi- silently ingested bite-sized pieces of ence. All that noise you hear is the meat, his dinner partner, a maelstrom friction between his habitual self and of clattering knives and chomping the luxuriating self he is attempting jaws, ooh’d and ah’d his delighted to assume.”

40 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The Hem Noise is the mark of resistance. Consider the sounds emitted by a log fire, a pile of burning straw, or an oil lamp. In each case, matter is suc- cumbing to the energy locked within it. The log offers the most resistance, voicing its reluctance to part with its outer form with a noisy crackle and sudden explosions. The straw, not quite as physical as the log, protests with a whispering sizzle. And the oil in the lamp, the finest substance of the three, burns silently, freely yield- ing to the essence within. Thus, Eliyahu haNavi experienced G-d’s immanence as “a small still voice.” In his refined self, the material of the body did not resist the spirituality of the soul. He perceived the Divine reality not in a norm-shat- tering storm, but in the same tranquil manner in which a person is aware of the life within him. And yet, Aharon the Kohein Gadol (High Priest), the epitome of refine- ment and spirituality, is commanded to wear a robe with bells sewn onto its hem, so that “its sound shall be heard when he enters into the Holy before G-d.” For the Kohein Gadol represents the entirety of Israel in his service of the Al-mighty, including those for whom the connection to G-d is still a noisy struggle—the struggle to transcend their external, earth-bound selves and bring to light their true, inner identity. Rabbi Yisrael Baal Shem Tov was once asked: Why do some of your dis- ciples make such a ruckus while praying? They shout, they wave their arms, they virtually throw themselves about the room. Is this the appropri- ate way to commune with the Al- mighty? The founder of chassidism replied: Have you ever seen a drowning man? He shouts, he thrashes his arms, he struggles with the waves that threaten to claim him. Throughout the day, a person is swamped by the demands of his material existence; prayer is the attempt to break free of the engulfing waters that threaten to extinguish his spiritual life. True, a noisy service of G-d is an indication that the person has not yet fully “arrived.” Had he succeeded in transcending the mundane, his endeavor to draw close to the Al- mighty would be a tranquil one; his soul would strive upwards with a silent, frictionless flame. His tumul- tuous struggle reflects the fact that his spiritual self has not yet become the seat of his identity—that his “natural” self still lies with the material externalities of life. Nevertheless, this is a healthy sign: he has not suc- cumbed. He is straining to free himself of the confining envelope of his material being, straining to rise above his presently defined self. So the bells on the hem of the Kohein Gadol’s robe are an indis- pensable part of his Divine service. “Its sound shall be heard when he enters into the Holy before G-d,” commands the Torah, “lest he die.” Were he to disclaim the lowly “hem” of the nation he represents, he

Continued on Page 42 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 41 CHASSIDIC MASTERS pomegranates a bell was attached within them, for the pomegranates hollow”) indicates that they served a Continued from Page 41 and hanging on the hem of the were hollow—like small, unopened functional rather than decorative robe.” Ramban (Nachmanides) dis- pomegranates—and the bells were purpose; but what does Ramban would be violating the very essence agrees. “I don’t know why the mas- contained within them…” mean when he says that “if they were of his mission. Were his service of ter [Rashi] made the bells separate, The later commentaries enter into there for beauty…they should have the Al-mighty not to embody the a bell between two pomegranates,” the debate. “Why does [Ramban] been made as golden apples”? struggles of his imperfect brethren, he writes. “According to this, the favor apples over pomegranates?” Indeed, the Menorah was decorat- it would have no place in G-d’s inner ed with spheres resembling apples sanctum. whose sole purpose was for beauty. Perhaps Ramban derives from this Apples And Pomegranates that in the making of the Mishkan In light of the above, we can under- Even before a person attains perfection— and its accessories, the decorative stand the deeper significance of the fruit of choice was the apple. But this debate between two of our sages even if his entire life is spent in the quest itself requires explanation. Why regarding the bells and pomegranates apples? And why, according to Rashi, on the Kohein Gadol’s robe. for perfection—the clamor of his efforts is was the Menorah beautified with The debate addresses the question apples and the Kohein Gadol’s robe of how to interpret the word with pomegranates? “b’socham,” which translates either as music to G-d’s ear. “between them” or, in a more literal Insulated Deeds rendering, “within them.” Does the Both the apple and the pomegran- Torah command to “make upon its ate are representative of the Jewish hem pomegranates…and bells of gold pomegranates served no function. wonders Rabbi Eliyahu Mizrachi. people. The Torah likens Israel to an between them” or to fix the “bells of And if they were there for beauty, Other commentaries explain that apple (“Like an apple among the gold within them”? then why were they made as hollow Ramban’s difficulty with Rashi’s trees of the wood, so is my beloved,” Rashi, in his commentary on the pomegranates? They should have interpretation is that the hollow form Shir haShirim 2:2) as well as to a verse, maintains that the bells were been made as golden apples… of the pomegranate (Rashi himself pomegranate (“Your lips are like a between them: “between each two Rather, [the bells] were literally also says that they were “round and thread of scarlet, and your mouth is comely; your temple is like a piece of pomegranate within your locks,” ibid., 4:3). But while the apple represents Israel in a virtuous state, the pomegranate refers to the “hollow” or “empty ones amongst you.” As interpreted by the Talmud, the phrase “your temple is like a piece of pomegranate” comes to say that “even the empty ones amongst you are full of good deeds as a pomegranate [is full of seeds].” (Raka, the Hebrew word used by the verse for “temple,” is related to the word reik, “empty.” Thus “your temple” is homiletically rendered as “the empty ones amongst you.”) The pomegranate is more than a model of something that contains many particulars. On a deeper level, this metaphor also addresses the par- adox of how an individual may be “empty” and, at the same time, be “full of good deeds as a pomegranate.” The pomegranate is a highly “com- partmentalized” fruit. Each of its hundreds of seeds is wrapped in its own sack of flesh and is separated from its fellows by a tough mem- brane. In the same way, it is possible for a person to do good deeds—many good deeds—and yet they remain iso- lated acts, with little or no effect on his nature and character. So unlike the “apple,” whose deliciousness is from core to skin, the “pomegranate” contains many virtues, but they do not become him. He may be full of good deeds, yet he remains morally and spiritually hollow. This explains the connection between the pomegranates and the bells on the hem of the priestly robe. As explained above, the noisy bells rep- resent the imperfect individual who is striving to transcend his deficient state. Although he is still a spiritual pauper, he refuses to act like one— hence the noisy friction that charac- terizes his life.

Beautiful Noise To become an apple one must first be a pomegranate. One must act unlike himself, like a poor man feast- ing at a rich man’s table; a clumsy 42 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES spectacle, perhaps, but an inevitable one if a person is to transcend the animalistic, egocentric self into which every man is born. The first step to becoming perfect is to behave as if perfect. Indeed, before Eliyahu experienced G-d in a “small, still voice,” he first beheld the wind, the storm, and the fire. Thus, Ramban sees the pomegranate-encased bells on Aharon’s hem as a preliminary phase of one’s Divine service, rather than as the service itself. Beauty, however, is to be found in the apple-like perfection of the Menorah—seven lamps of pure olive oil, representing the soul’s silent, tranquil flame. If the pomegranates on the priestly robe were for beauty, argues Ramban, they would not be pomegranates, but apples. These hollow fruits are purely functional, a preparatory stage in the soul’s quest for perfection and union with her source in G-d. According to Rashi, however, the beauty of Israel lies also in its pomegranates. In fact, in a certain sense, the struggle of the imperfect soul is even more beautiful than the serene perfection of her more virtuous fellow. For the perfectly righteous individual serves G-d by being what he is, while every positive deed of the “empty ones amongst you” is an act of sacrifice and self-transcendence. So even before a person attains perfection—even if his entire life is spent in the quest for perfection— the clamor of his efforts is music to G-d’s ear.

A Contemporary Application There are those who claim that the Torah and its mitzvos are a private matter between the Jew and his G-d, not something to be paraded in the streets. Tefillin, Shabbos, the sanctity of family life, “esoteric” concepts such as “Divine reality” or “Mashiach,” are not to be hawked on a downtown sidewalk or catchphrased on a slick billboard. Never, in our history as a nation, has anything like this been done, they say. You are vulgarizing the soul of Judaism, they accuse. But this is the hem of history, the lowliest and most superficial generation yet. To this generation, the small, still voice of G-d sounds like alien noise. Should this voice be hushed, to be whispered only among the apples? Or should its call be sounded, noisy though it may be, until it is heard above the din? Speaking to this generation in its own language—the language of the sound-bite, of incessant compart- mentalization and hollow packag- ing—ever further raises the noise level. But fighting fire with fire is not only effective, but it also brings to light facets of one’s own potential that would otherwise remain unreal- ized. The bells and pomegranates that broadcast the Divine truth are more than the means toward a tranquil end. They are themselves things of beauty. O

Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe; adapted by Yanki Tauber. Courtesy of MeaningfulLife.com via Chabad.org. Find more Torah articles for the whole family at www.chabad.org/parshah. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 43 MISHNAS CHAYIM receptacles were procured, one “blank.” The process erated poseik of that era Bearing in mind the Chavas Continued from Page 36 each one containing twelve would be repeated until a (She’eilos uTeshuvos Chavas Yair’s enlightening perspective prepared slips of paper. On the match was found; i.e., when a Yair, sec. 61). His answer is not on lotteries, we may better Sometime during the papers in the first receptacle name was removed at the same only interesting from a understand why the name “lots” 1600s, twelve cronies held were written the contestants’ time as the “mazal tov” paper, halachic standpoint, but is also was chosen to serve as the title their Purim seudah (feast) names (one name per paper). the winner would be declared. very illuminating as to the spir- for this yom tov. In contrast to together. During the course of The papers in the second (Apparently, this was the going itual factor inherent in a lot- most other holidays, which the festivities, they decided to receptacle remained blank, thing at parties in those times.) tery. (Note that the Chavas Yair commemorate overt miracles, engage in a contest of sorts. with one exception: the words In this particular instance, was not dealing with the ques- the Purim story is characterized The activity of choice was a “mazal tov” were inscribed on the winner was picked by the tion of the permissibility of by hidden miracles. The series raffle. Contributing equal one of those papers. sixth drawing. He received the engaging in such sweepstakes; of events of this period appeared amounts to a collective “fund,” A child was brought in to “mazal tov” and the silver gob- that issue is addressed by the to be natural occurrences, lack- a silver goblet was purchased carry out the drawings. He let. One of the losers, however, Ben Ish Chai in She’eilos ing any “supernatural” wonders. and designated as the prize. would simultaneously remove decided to conduct an “investi- uTeshuvos Rav Pe’alim, vol. 2, However, this is only the This lottery was conducted a slip of paper from each ves- gation.” He inspected the Yoreh De’ah, sec. 30. The focus superficial view. Part of our in the following way: Two sel: one name together with remaining, undrawn slips of of the Chavas Yair’s responsum task on this yom tov is to take a paper, and discovered—to his was the technical question of deeper look, which will reveal horror—that there had been a legal ownership resulting from the clear presence of Hashem’s gross error. One of the names the case at hand.) guiding Hand every step of the was missing! In light of this The Chavas Yair ruled that way (No’am Siach, p. 146). omission, he charged, the the lottery was, in fact, invalid. As contended by the results should be discounted. True, the claimant’s chances Chavas Yair, a lottery is actu- The winner, on the other were not diminished by this ally a quintessential manifes- hand, saw no need for a “do particular omission. However, tation of Divine intervention. over.” The mistake was based on what really transpires By using “lots” as the name amongst the unpicked papers, “behind the scenes,” it becomes for this yom tov, the Megillah and so, ultimately, did not apparent that even a seemingly is emphasizing the central affect the outcome. Further- inconsequential mistake would theme of the day: recognizing more, the only one who may disqualify the lottery. Hashem’s Hand in the (seem- have had reason to complain For the results of a lottery, ingly) ordinary events of was that individual whose declared the Chavas Yair, are Purim—and everyday life. O name was omitted. The winner effected through Divine inter- took care of this potential snag vention. Heaven will only Mishnas Chayim is brought to you by by providing that individual become involved, however, if Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah, a network of Torah scholars dedicated to bring- with a sizeable cash consolation the lottery is conducted prop- ing the merits of Mishnah study to the prize. As such, he was not chal- erly. A botched drawing is not greater Jewish public. Encompassing lenging the results, and so— subject to the special Siyata Mishnah, Gemara, and a variety of other services, Chevrah Lomdei contended the winner—no one d’Shmaya usually directed at Mishnah primarily assists mourners else should, either. such endeavors. In such a case, interested in acquiring the merit of Torah study for their loved ones. They The issue was brought the results are unreliable. can be contacted at 732-364-7029 or before the Chavas Yair, the ven- More than meets the eye. at www.societyformishnahstudy.org.

44 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 45

and I am very disappointed with the could be half, or three-fourths, or response, or lack thereof, from the maybe even one or one and a half. I schools and the rabbanim. see we have a problem. (I do under- Here is the problem as I see it. stand that as income rises above Consider a family of two adults and $100,000 the expenses also rise, but two children, making $100,000 a proportionately not as much. year—which by all standards is very Therefore, a family making $200,000 commendable. Now, subtract (with would probably have more than Shani’s Sheitel Gemach very special experience. May Hashem numbers estimated on the low side) $26,600. I purposely used low figures Dear Editor, bless them with continued koach, and the Medicare payments ($1,450), to account for this discrepancy.) Shani’s Sheitel Gemach provides in their z’chus and in the z’chus of the Social Security payments ($6,250), Everything in life has its benefits as an unbelievable service to the sheitel- wonderful women around the world federal income tax ($12,000), state well as its detriments. Fathers and wearing Jerusalem kollel community. who contribute to the success of the income tax ($4,000), mortgage inter- mothers work more so they benefit Each time I’ve been there, I’ve gemach, may we all be inspired to est ($20,000), and real-estate taxes from more money, but it’s also a detri- returned home feeling like a million greater acts of gemilus chasadim for ($4,000). Now utilities—telephone, ment; since they are working more, dollars, with a gorgeous sheitel or fall the strengthening of K’lal Yisrael. gas, electric, water—at $12,000. this leaves other people to nurture that doesn’t cost anywhere near a Lisa Cook, Food for all the Jewish holidays: and raise our children. This results in million dollars. I send everyone I Jerusalem $12,000. Clothing: $3,000. Add car what we have now—a lot of “at risk” know there—from kallahs needing to costs, gas, insurance, life insurance, kids. Maybe if the fathers and moth- purchase their first sheitel, to married The Tuition Crisis: etc.: $12,000. ers were home more, we would have friends who’d like a new wig but just Another Analysis Now let’s see what is left: a grand fewer at-risk children and see a can’t afford a brand-new custom. I Dear Editor, total of $13,300. Now, assuming I do decrease on expenditures at that know that these women will always I am currently a proud parent of six not pay a shul $1,000 a year, or end—a monetary savings. be in the best hands with Shani. The yeshiva students (but I don’t know for tzedakah (va’ad, mikveh, eiruv, Israel, Here are some suggestions, in no par- Greenfields are two of the biggest how much longer). I have read with Hatzalah, etc.) or anything for retire- ticular order, to help solve these issues: ba’alei chesed that I know. Their great interest over the years the ment or for pleasure, with my $13,300 • Every synagogue in our area warmth and obvious ahavas Yisrael thoughts of the community with how many of the two children can I should have one yearly appeal for the makes buying a “cheaper sheitel ” a regard to the issue of yeshiva tuition, educate? Depending on the yeshiva, local yeshivas. Congregants who do not have children in yeshiva would now have a readily available option of fulfilling the mitzvah of chinuch ha’banim. • Make tuition on a sliding scale based on income—5 percent of gross income for all children. • Cap tuition for all families at $40,000. This way yeshiva tuition would not be “Jewish birth control.” Less than 70 years ago we lost six million members of our family; that Jewish people are not having children because they are worried about financ- ing Jewish education is a tragedy (of almost equal proportion). • Have more fundraisers, and expand the ones you currently have. • If necessary, form larger classes, eliminate enrichment programs, and shorten the class day. • Other writers have already suggested forming a large entity to save on insurance and such. • Eliminate school on Sunday and save the cost involved. Instead, in all the synagogues institute a father-son- rabbi (of the shul) program, including davening together, learning together, and the shul rabbi learning with the boys and making a kesher with them. • Schools can stress the barter system, as well as encourage local family- owned businesses (i.e., “buy local”). • Reduce staff and reduce salaries. • Form a local va’ad consisting of local rabbinic leaders, school leaders, and parents to implement the changes the yeshiva system needs. I am sure there are a lot more ways. Everybody will be temporarily hurt by these measures, but they should

Continued on Page 48

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46 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 47 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Continued from Page 46

know they are helping restore that age- old tradition of a Jewish family: Fathers and mothers teaching their children about Yiddishkeit, not working endless hours in the office, only to come home to disrupt the shalom bayis so the Shechinah doesn’t rest any longer in the house. The “Jewish family” idea has worked for thousands of years; let’s give it a try. We can and we will solve this issue. Allan Roffe

It’s A Dirty Job And We All Have To Do It Dear Editor, I’ve noticed garbage in several parts of the Far Rockaway community—in the street, under shrubbery, in some cases all over the grass, along the sidewalk, behind and under fences, overflowing from the cans. The insects and animals love it, but it is gross. We’ve had many windy days this winter, but I’ve noticed the breakdown well over a year ago. What’s bothersome is the loud and clear message: “I’m too busy, let someone else clean it up—the gar- dener, a neighbor, etc.—and I don’t really care. I don’t take pride in my home and my community.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen dia- pers, used foil pans, wrappers of every kind, newspapers, cigarette butts, plastic bottles, glass bottles— you name it—just strewn around. If it’s a matter of buying another trash can, buy it! There seems to be an indifferent attitude. Last week a woman was walking with her young son. He kicked a glass bottle that was on the sidewalk into the street. The mother looked down and just kept walking. It could’ve been her opportunity to be a positive example and teach him that we don’t kick garbage into the street—we pick it up and throw it in the nearest receptacle. I’m asking that we pay more attention to this matter and actually do something about it. If it means taking a trash bag and putting on a pair of rub- ber gloves to pick up the garbage, then why not make the effort. Turn it into a kiddush Hashem by showing gratitude for what we have. Rivka Olenick

Poles Not Profiting From Death Camps Dear Editor, Rabbi Aviner distorts the facts of what happened during the Nazi occu- pation of Poland. He says, “I’m not busy holding a grudge against the Poles, but we shouldn’t provide livelihood to people who allowed death camps to be built on their land and who are now making a profit out of it. They are not my friends and I don’t want to support them” (“No Mitzvah to Visit Poland,” 5TJT, February 27). Holding a grudge is exactly what he is doing. To say that Poles “allowed” Nazis to build death camps on their land is totally absurd. The statement about “making a profit out of it” is also false. The Polish government is currently appealing to its EU neighbors for funding to maintain the death camp sites as memorials to 48 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES those who died there. By his result of the Holocaust. er, it seems to me that the and caring for the dead is more country their graves are in. injudicious statements, Rabbi I am no expert in rabbinical rabbi misses the point by not important as a mitzvah than Anonymous, Aviner is providing more matters such as these; howev- seeing the fact that honoring being concerned about what Atlanta, GA ammunition for anti- Semitism, and this is truly regrettable in light of all the positive attempts being made in Poland to produce a recon- ciliation. Frederic Widlak, Nowy Sacz, Poland

Honoring The Victims Dear Editor, I am not Jewish, but I have worked with Jews in Poland in caring for and restoring Jewish cemeteries destroyed by Nazis that for the most part have been abandoned and forgotten since WWII. I have learned through my experience that caring for the dead is one of the greatest mitzvahs that a Jew can perform, because “the dead cannot care for themselves.” Secondly, there are hundreds of mass graves in Poland in which hundreds, thousands, and millions of Jews and Poles were executed and buried. Jews consider those Jews, who died as a result of the Holocaust (Shoah), as “holy ones,” who died for their faith, which in itself is a mitzvah. Even though these death camps and mass graves are not formal Jewish cemeteries, they are burial places of Jews who died as a

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 49 A Five Towns Simcha Photos By Ira Thomas Creations

Avi Fuchs of Flatbush and Miri Osina of Chicago were married at Eden Palace on Tuesday, March 3. Rabbi Shaya Cohen of Yeshiva Zichron Aryeh officiated. Nechemia Soibelman Orchestra provided the music.

50 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Rubin Margules To Lead 9th each basket is a personal handwritten Annual Mishloach Manot Project note to each soldier and recipient. “It For Israeli Soldiers And Western is unbelievable seeing the enthusiasm Negev Towns these soldiers display in reading these On Tuesday, March 3, Rubin notes and letters written by students Margules, president of ZOA Brooklyn and contributors thanking them for region, set off with a group of volun- defending our biblical homeland,” teers to Israel on his Ninth Annual said Mr. Margules. “We come to Mishloach Manot Project for Israeli thank them and they can’t stop soldiers. “Each year,” he said, “we dis- thanking us.” tribute Purim baskets to IDF soldiers “This year, due to the stressful sit- throughout Israel.” uation of our fellow Jews in parts of Last year over 2,500 packages were southern Israel caused by ongoing distributed to soldiers at bases throughout the country. Included in Continued on Page 52

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Center, Glen Rock, NJ; Israel Center of Continued from Page 51 Conservative Judaism, Flushing; Jericho Jewish Center, Jericho, NY; Jewish Hamas rocket fire, we will be organ- Community Center of Paramus, izing Purim parties of song, dance, Paramus, NJ; Manhattan Beach Jewish and fun as well as delivering Center, Brooklyn; Ocean Avenue Jewish mishloach manot to over 500 children Center, Brooklyn; Ohab Zedek, NY; participating in ‘Makom Balev’ Plainview Jewish Center, Plainview, NY; (Israel’s NCSY) programs in the tar- Torath Israel Sephardic Congregation, geted communities of Kiryat Gat, Brooklyn; and Young Israel of Lawrence S’derot, Gedera, Kiryat Melachi, and Cedarhurst, Lawrence. Netivot.” said Mr. Margules. The Zionist Organization of America Many yeshivot and congregations extends its gratitude to all those who participate and help raise the monies have helped the past eight years and for the purchase of the mishloach continue to do so this year. “We need manot for the soldiers. All mishloach your help to make this Purim especially (L–R): Anita Taylor, District Director; Congresswoman Yvette D. Clarke; Tzirl Goldman; Shmuel manot are purchased in Israel, which joyous for our soldiers in Israel,” said Goldman; Chanina Sperlin, Crown Heights Jewish Community Council; Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz; Samuel Kahn, Executive Director, HASC Center; Rabbi Jacob Z. also helps the local economy. The fol- Mr. Margules. “They are our defenders Goldstein, Chair, Community Board #9; Rabbi Chaim Wakslak, Ph.D., Clinical Director, HASC lowing is a partial list of schools that and our mishloach manot project gives Center; Fred A. Kreizman, Assistant Commissioner, Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit; Donna helped to raise funds, and whose stu- us a chance to express our appreciation. Limiti, Acting Director, BDDSO. dents wrote letters and drew pictures Writing a note gives us a chance to say for the Purim baskets: Bnos a personal thank you. How small the Shulamith, Brandeis School E.S., task, yet how big the reward.” independence and inclusion into the ship for their dedication to the Crown Central High School for Girls, Hebrew May our chesed be a beginning for community while facilitating access Heights and greater community. O Academy of Nassau County, Joseph good, and a symbol of Am Yisrael’s to all the necessary clinical and ther- Kushner Hebrew Academy, Magen unity. Anyone wishing to participate in apeutic services. Say Hello To Aloha Cleaners David High School, Mesivta Tiferes Project Purim 2009 is invited to visit HASC executive director Samuel This is what we’ve all been waiting Yisroel, Nefesh Academy, Prospect www.zoabrooklyn.org or call 718-339- Kahn and clinical director Rabbi for: easy, smooth and uncomplicated Park Yeshiva, Ramaz Middle School, 8301 for further information. O Chaim Wakslak welcomed community dry cleaning service in a new state-of- Shulamith School for Girls, Sinai leaders and elected officials who came the-art facility right here in Far Academy, Stella K. Abraham High Crown Heights Welcomes HASC to pay tribute to HASC Center for its Rockaway. If you prefer never to have School for Girls, Yeshiva of Belle Center With Ribbon-Cutting commitment to the most vulnerable of to step inside the newly rebuilt and Harbor, and Yeshiva of South Shore. Celebration our society. Donna Limiti, acting modernized Aloha Cleaners, they will Some of the congregations lending HASC Center has expanded its serv- director, DDSO (Developmentally gladly and pick up and efficiently deliv- their time and efforts this year to the ices by establishing a group home for Disabled Services Offices); Brooklyn er all your dry cleaning at the time that success of the project are: Ansche adults in Crown Heights. This resi- Borough President Marty Markowitz; you specify. Chesed, NY; Beth El Synagogue, dence is located at 580 East New York Councilman Mathieu Eugene; Rabbi The Lee family is there for all your Margate; Congregation Beth El, South Avenue between Brooklyn and Jacob Goldstein, Chair Community alteration and related dry cleaning Orange, NJ; Congregation Bnai Israel, Kingston Avenues. Board 9; Fred Kreizman, Mayor’s needs, serving you with a smile and Toms River, NJ; Flatbush Park Jewish The new HASC Center is a beauti- Community Affairs Unit all gathered with first class professionalism at every Center, Brooklyn; Glen Rock Jewish ful warm residence that promotes to praise HASC Center and its leader- turn. Mr. and Mrs. Lee know the busi-

52 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ness inside and out, and their son, tion, please call Lisa Stern (ext. 209). Jake, a personable and friendly young Come Alive Program at Sons of Israel man, handles the outside sales with in Woodmere. This program provides great proficiency. an opportunity for homebound older Probably one of the biggest com- adults to participate in social, recre- plaints any dry cleaner receives deals ational, and intellectual activities. with having clothing ready on time. Kosher lunch will be provided and That’s especially true with the yom door-to-door transportation is available tovim. With the Pesach season on a limited basis. For further informa- approaching you won’t have to worry. tion, please call Mary Sheffield (ext. Aloha Cleaners makes it simple every 219) or Linda Balch (ext. 211). step of the way. If you haven’t tried Parkinson’s Support Group. The pur- them yet, you owe it to yourself and pose of this group is to bring together your family. See the Aloha ad in this Parkinsonians, their spouses, and their O L–R: Moishe Feuer, TAG board member; Rabbi Shayeh Kohn, executive director, Yeshiva of Far issue on page 3. Rockaway; Aryeh Gibber, TAG board member; Assemblywoman Audrey Pheffer; Eli Shapiro, YU families in order to help them better School Affordability Initiative; Michael Fragin, Darchei Torah board member; Boruch Rothman, understand the nature of the condition, Local Yeshiva Leaders Petition director of special projects, Darchei Torah; and Asher Schoor, Bnos Bais Yaakov board member. gain confidence, and join in community Albany Legislators activities. For further information, Governor Paterson’s budget proposes please contact Cathy Byrne (ext. 220). a crippling 41% permanent cut to state New York State approximately $13 mil- communities in the Five Towns and Remember When. This program is funding for private schools by eliminat- lion per year (nearly $1 million for our Rockaway will not accept these cuts especially designed for memory ing all funding for the Comprehensive region), and Catholic schools would without a fight. The YU Institute for enhancement and socialization. The Attendance Program (CAP), depriving lose $32.5 million per year. University–School Partnership and the cost includes a full range of therapeu- non-public schools of tens of millions On Wednesday, February 25, Eli YU Center for the Jewish Future tic activities, morning beverage, of dollars. CAP, which is a state-man- Shapiro, regional coordinator for Yeshiva remain committed to the development dessert, and a kosher lunch. Round- dated program for all schools, is a secu- University’s national school affordability and success of day schools and yeshiv- trip, door-to-door, handicapped-acces- rity measure that requires schools to initiative, in partnership with Teach os around the country. O sible transportation is available on a take attendance at the start of every NYS, led a team of yeshiva administra- limited basis. Registration is limited, period to ensure that students are tors and board members from local JCC March Events on a first-come, first-served basis. attending their classes and not leaving yeshivas to Albany, in an effort to restore The JCC of the Greater Five Towns Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) group the school during class time. CAP funding. Representatives from has a central location in Cedarhurst at at Sons of Israel in Woodmere. The goal The governor’s budget proposal, Yeshiva Darchei Torah, Torah Academy 207 Grove Avenue and several satellite is to offer a safe haven where clients announced last month, includes a for Girls, Bnos Bais Yaakov, Yeshiva locations around the community. The and family members feel accepted for 3.3% temporary cut for public-school Ketana, Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, central phone number is 516-569-6733. who they are. Takes place on aid and an astounding 41% permanent Shulamith, HAFTR, HALB, and Ongoing Events Wednesdays. For further information, cut for private-school aid. The budget Mesivta Ateres Yaakov met with 41 legis- Cards and Friendship Group. Come please contact Lisa Barnett (ext. 210) eliminates assistance for CAP, which lators, who were extremely receptive. alone or bring a friend for a fun after- or Chana Pfeifer (ext. 213). was nearly $55 million in 2008. CAP The trip was extremely successful in noon at the JCC. Enjoy meeting new Upcoming Events provides up to $108 per child, per letting Albany lawmakers know that people, good conversation, and chal- Evening of Music with Israeli enter- school, per year. The elimination of their decisions affect thousands of lenging games. Every Wednesday, this program would cost yeshivas in children and that the private-school 1:00–3:00 p.m. For further informa- Continued on Page 54

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS adult-education committee headed by defense has its roots in a period that Continued from Page 53 Joyce Levine, drew a crowd from all predated the blessing of the State of over the New York metropolitan area. Israel,” said the rabbi. tainer and songwriter Yoram Teharlev. Because of the recent spate of pub- Dr. Bielski’s message was emphatic: Saturday, March 7, 8:00 p.m., at licity generated by the film Defiance, Jews must use any means necessary to Temple Israel, 140 Central Avenue in which dramatizes the story of the hero- defend themselves in the face of their Cedarhurst. Tickets are $25 per person. ic brothers who saved over 1,200 Jews implacable enemies. The message is Dinner with Friends. Tuesday, during the Holocaust, the Bielski timely and inspiring, as demonstrated March 17, 7:00–9:00 p.m. name has become well known in the by contemporary events in Israel and Motivational speaker/comedian Irwin Jewish community. Many in the audi- all over the world. Stuart Katz, presi- Pfeffer will discuss “The Dos and ence were moved to tears while watch- dent of the YINW, summarized it this Don’ts That Ruin a Relationship.” For ing an earlier-made movie about the way: “The evening afforded the greater fee information and/or to register same story, The Bielski Brothers— community an opportunity to hear please call ext. 209. Pre-registration is Jerusalem in the Woods, which was first from the son of a true Maccabee, Zus a must. For single adults ages 55+. aired on the History Channel in 2006. Bielski. To envision that the 1,200 This program meets once a month. Dr. Bielski and his wife Margo took lives saved by the Bielski brothers, one Seventh Annual Fundraising Dinner. questions from the audience and added at a time, have descendants number- Wednesday, March 25, 6:30 p.m. at their personal insights into the events ing over 25,000—this is true heroism.” the Sephardic Temple, 775 Branch and family members portrayed in the The Young Israel of North Woodmere Boulevard in Cedarhurst. O movie. Rabbi Yehuda Septimus, spiritu- Dr. Jay Bielski is located at the corner of Hungry al leader of the Young Israel of North Harbor Road and Park Lane. For fur- “The Bielski Brothers” At YINW Woodmere, noted that Zus’s son con- ther information about the synagogue, The Young Israel of North firmed that the film’s director captured ture new tales of courage and inspira- call 516-791-5099 or visit Woodmere held a screening of the film his father’s and uncle’s characters per- tion. This true tale was all that, without www.yinw.org. O The Bielski Brothers, hosted Dr. Jay fectly on screen, highlighting the signif- the need for Hollywood embellish- Bielski, son of Zus Bielski, at a stand- icance of the movie. As the film director ments. “It broadcast to the world that Agudah Of West Lawrence Melaveh ing-room-only event in the shul. The himself pointed out, Hollywood spends Jewish blood was never cheap and the Malkah, March 7 event, coordinated by the synagogue’s billions of dollars struggling to manufac- much-maligned ethic of Jewish self- Agudath Israel of West Lawrence cordially invites everyone to join its annual melaveh malkah, which will take place iy’H on motzaei Shabbos of Shabbos Parashas Tetzavveh/Parashas Zachor, March 7, 8:45 p.m. at the shul social hall. The guest speaker, Rabbi Pesach Lerner, executive vice-president of the National Council of Young Israel, is to speak about “Kol Yisrael Areivim Zeh LaZeh,” the matzav in Eretz Yisrael, and what we can do. Mr. Avi Polinsky is to be honored for his many years of service as gabbai. Sponsors will be recognized in the scroll of honor to be presented to the honoree and displayed in the shul. Sponsorships include entry to the melaveh malkah. To reserve a place at the melaveh malkah, write to [email protected] or call Aryeh Gibber at 917-628-8429. Admission is $180 per couple for members and $250 per couple for nonmembers. Agudath Israel of West Lawrence is located at 631 Lanett Avenue in Far Rockaway. O

Fundraising Seminar For Non- Profits Draws Capacity Crowd On Wednesday, February 18 a unique event was held for executive directors and fundraising professionals. The purpose of the event, held at Caraville Glatt in Brooklyn, was to offer schools and non-profit organizations solutions that can be implemented right now to improve their fundraising results. The event featured valu- able information, tips, and real-world examples to help fundraisers make their programs more productive. Well-known and respected presen- ters helped attract a diverse group of participants. Michael Rothschild, director of the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation, opened the pro- ceedings with a short account of how his organization has successfully used different marketing techniques to achieve its goals. The highlights of the afternoon included presentations by Rabbi Herschel Leiner, president of H. Leiner & Co. and a founding partner of Eastgate Management Service Corp; and Yitzchok Saftlas, president of Bottom Line Marketing Group. 54 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Rabbi Leiner discussed the need for sentations, including bringing the schools and non-profits to develop a seminar to Chicago and Los Angeles in strategy when planning campaigns. the coming months. For further infor- One example he explained in detail was mation about this event and future a recent 50th Anniversary Banquet events, please contact Avigayil Meyer Campaign for a client in Chicago—a of Bottom Line Marketing Group at campaign handled jointly by H. Leiner 718-412-3502. O & Co. and Bottom Line Marketing Group. Rabbi Leiner described the var- OHEL Swish Basketball ious stages of the campaign and Tournament, March 22 demonstrated how strategic planning OHEL invites ballplayers from the has directly resulted in more reserva- tri-state area to participate and com- tions and overall response. pete in the OHEL Swish-A-Thon Mr. Saftlas then focused on how to 2009, an exciting 3-on-3 basketball identify your target audience and the tournament set to take place on best methods of properly communicat- Sunday, March 22 at the Nat Holman ing with them. The interactive presen- Gymnasium at City College of New tation was peppered with advice from York (138th Street and Convent industry experts, such as Rabbi Avenue). The event will bring togeth- Richard Bieler, senior executive direc- er players and participants from a tor for community affairs for Yeshiva diverse array of communities and University, and included many real- raise significant funds for the chil- world examples from successful mar- dren and families of OHEL. keting campaigns. Hundreds of young professionals, The diverse group of attendees businessmen, and members of the included a cross section of the Jewish Jewish community are expected to par- organizational landscape and non- ticipate in the event. The program will profit world, including Rabbi Josh consist of a full day of basketball and “JP” Pruzansky of Agudath Israel of fun. The Swish-A-Thon was founded in New Jersey; Yossi Mentz of Yeshivat 2002 by a group of volunteers and Yavneh from Los Angeles; Rabbi young professionals who came together Eliezer Grunberg of Yeshiva Chofetz to raise money for victims affected by Chaim-Rabbinical Seminary of the tragedy of September 11 and for America; Nachum Segal of “JM in the terror victims in Israel. In 2002 and AM”; Mrs. Miriam Weiss of Ohel 2003 combined, the Swish-A-Thon Children’s Home and Family Services; raised over a quarter million dollars, and Rabbi Dovid Rosenberg of and dozens of teams and hundreds of Scranton Hebrew Day School, among participants took part in each event. In many other notables. early 2005, OHEL’s Young Leadership Based on the enthusiastic reactions, plans are in the works for future pre- Continued on Page 56

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 55 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS while their parents are free to attend to Continued from Page 55 other responsibilities. For further information, to become Board approached the Swish-A-Thon’s a sponsor, or to participate in the founders about running the Swish-A- Swish-A-Thon, individuals can visit Thon on OHEL’s behalf. The founders www.ohelfamily.org/swishathon or con- agreed and the OHEL Swish-A-Thon tact OHEL at 718-972-9338 or via e- was set. mail at [email protected]. O Men of all ages are encouraged to play. The champion team will win a Rambam Mesivta Budding free trip to anywhere in the continen- Businessmen Win Competition tal U.S. In order to participate in the Rambam Mesivta students Eric Swish-A-Thon, each team must raise Forkosh, Michael Saltzman, and L–R: Dr. Moshe Sokol, Dean of Lander L–R: Rambam Mesivta students Michael $500. The tournament will consist of Yaacov Schlusselberg have been select- College for Men with Rambam Mesivta Saltzman and Yaacov Schlusselberg with several rounds, ending in a champi- ed as two out of five finalist teams student Eric Forkosh. Lawrence Bellman, director of Touro’s onship match at the day’s conclusion. (among 100 competing teams) in the Entrepreneurial Institute. Teams will be guaranteed a minimum Gryfe-Levy Student Entrepreneur of of three games in the first round. the Year competition sponsored by fies students when their bus is Electronic Talmud Dictionary.” Teams with the most wins in the first Lander College for Men. The program approaching with flashing lights and This was an exciting opportunity round will advance to the next round seeks to cultivate the creative and sounds. The device would allow stu- and a great learning experience for all and face single-elimination-style rules. entrepreneurial talents of students dents to remain indoors in harsh who had the privilege to attend. It gave The honorary chair of the event is from yeshiva high schools across the weather until their bus actually them a peek into the business world Dr. Jonathan Halpert, head coach of metro New York area by encouraging arrived. Saltzman and Schlusselberg and opened their eyes to what it takes the Yeshiva University men’s basketball the development of new and potential- won the third-place spot with their to be a successful entrepreneur. O team. The Swish-A-Thon committee is ly lucrative business ideas. invention, “Life Band,” a watch that working together to ensure an awe- Interested students submitted a busi- constantly monitors one’s blood pres- Karate In The Megillah? some tournament. The Swish-A-Thon ness idea, entailing a product or service, sure and pulse and immediately alerts In Megillas Esther, we find that the is being sponsored by Vcorp Services, individually or as part of a team. an emergency response team if nega- B’nei Yisrael were lacking in certain Health Plus, Stand Up New York Submissions were screened for original- tive developments are detected. Their character traits. They were undisci- Comedy Club, and Canon, Inc. All ity, market potential, ease of develop- presentations were supported with plined and did not heed Mordechai’s proceeds from the Swish-A-Thon ben- ment, and, in the case of not-for-profit professional-looking videos and warning not to attend Achashverosh’s efit the OHEL Bais Ezra Recreation projects, benefit to the community. The PowerPoint slides of projected esti- party. They are described as a “nation Program for children and young adults five teams chosen as finalists will now mates and profit margins. who is scattered and spread out with developmental disabilities. These compete in the final round. The students were allowed only throughout the nations,” thereby lack- programs include Sunday programs, The students prepared by research- eight minutes, which included a fol- ing achdus, unity. And they were a peo- trips, Shabbatons, and after-school ing information and statistics to sup- low-up Q&A session, to impress the ple who lacked the confidence to stand programs. These programs are staffed port their business plans. With the five-judge panel, comprising represen- up to Haman (as a matter of fact, they by professionals and volunteers who help of classmates and Mr. Naclerio, tatives from various business sectors. bowed) and his evil decree. Last but create enjoyable social and recreation- who teaches Fundamentals of Fellow competitors from various not least, there is the health issue. al activities. The children and young Business at Rambam, Eric Forkosh yeshivas presented “The Kosher There is no way that partying, drink- adults love coming to these programs, took first place. His “Bus Alert” noti- Cowboy,” “The Veggie Bar,” and “The ing, and eating so much was healthy,

56 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES and, as we see, it only added to the Fuchs, Danny Hiller, Murray stress of the people. Horowitz, Dr. Martin Jacobs, Paul What does this have to do with the Kentor, Dr. Chaim Krigsman, Akiva martial arts? To explore this subject Palmer, Dr. Stuart Rappaport, Cantor firsthand, Rabbi Gedaliah Oppen, who Chaim Gershon Schindler, Hon. gives the 11th-grade Navi shiur at Martin Schulman, Ben Seligson, and HAFTR, took his students to a martial- Dr. Mel Young. arts class at Sensei Warren Levi’s dojo Davening begins at 9:00 a.m. The shul on Central Avenue. Martial arts teach- is located on the corner of Washington es discipline, self-confidence, and a Avenue and Broadway in Lawrence. sense of unity, and provides a wonder- Rabbi Kenneth Hain serves as the spiri- ful workout that enhances stress relief. tual leader, and Lester Henner is the Think how the story of the Megillah president of the congregation. O might have been different had the Jews frequented Shushan’s dojos. Yeshiva Of South Shore To Honor Probably the greatest advantage of State Senator Skelos, March 8 this field trip, however, was the extra In celebration of 52 years of Torah special kesher that was shared education, the Yeshiva of South Shore between Rabbi Oppen and his is to honor community leaders at its talmidim. Not only is he beloved in 52nd Annual Banquet. The dinner the classroom and as an administrator, chairman, Eli Veschleiser, reports that but he has quite the roundhouse kick! the banquet is scheduled for Sunday Special thanks to Rabbi Oppen for evening, March 8, at Congregation this great trip, Sensei Warren Levi for Knesseth Israel (The White Shul). sponsoring this event, and Senseis Gil, Among the honorees are Eli and Ibraham, and Will for giving everyone Marni Polatoff, Parents of the Year. Eli a great time and achy muscles. O and Marni have devoted their lives to servicing our community through a Choir Shabbos at Beth Sholom, synthesis of Torah and community val- March 7 ues. Eli, the proprietor of The Party Congregation Beth Sholom invites Source, is always busy helping some- the entire community to its annual one prepare for a simcha, arranging an Choir Shabbos, this coming Shabbos, event for a Torah institution, or saving Parashas Zachor, March 7. lives as a veteran member RL-33 of Davening will be led by Cantor Joel Hatzalah. Together with his life part- Kaplan accompanied by the Jesse ner, Marni, the educational director of Aronson Beth Sholom Choir, with Gan Eden preschool, the Polatoffs are Cantor Ariel Bekhore and conducted deeply committed to YOSS. Their by Benny Amar. boys, Aharon and Avi, are beloved The choir members are Jonathan Feltheimer, Paul Freedman. Shmuel Continued on Page 58

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 57 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS entry into political life, he has been a Continued from Page 57 close friend and confidant with a pio- neer of the Jewish communities of the talmidim, and Eli serves as a member Five Towns and founding dean of of the board of directors. They are also Yeshiva of South Shore, Rabbi the proud parents of Tzivi and Leah, Benjamin Kamenetzky. who attend TAG. The yeshiva is also proud to dedi- The yeshiva will also honor Morah cate the Father-Son Motzaei Shabbos Elana Fertig, the director of the Learning Program—one of the largest Hollander Early Childhood Center. of its kind in the United States, serving She joined the YOSS family six years more than 600 children and their ago. Combining creativity, compas- fathers from all our local yeshivos—as sion, and progressive educational the Leonard Goldstein Memorial Laiv methodologies, Morah Elana is known Avos U’Banim program. Leonard for her sage counsel and warm advice. Goldstein devoted his life to the Elana has a master’s of science in early growth of every Torah institution of his childhood education and is an execu- era, from the Young Israel of tive board member of both the Bnot Woodmere to the local mikveh. With Shulamith Board of Education and the this dedication, the yeshiva is also Local residents and honored guests delight in the beautiful chazzanus at the Ashdod Emergency Jewish Early Childhood Association of expressing its gratitude for the ongoing Medical Center benefit concert. the BJE. She and her husband, Avi—a support and friendship of the entire marketing communications consultant Goldstein family. and a member of the yeshiva’s young From its founding in East New York Sheetrit, a 39-year-old mother of four tentatively scheduled to open its doors leadership committee—are members 82 years ago and for 52 years on Long children who was killed by a Grad to the public in late 2010. “I cannot of Congregation Aish Kodesh. Their Island, Yeshiva Toras Chaim of South rocket while waiting for a bus in down- thank the Friends of Ashdod Medical son Yosef is a talmid of YOSS pre-1A, Shore has inculcated in thousands of town Ashdod during the recent war in Center enough for their ongoing and their daughters, Tova, Zahava, and children and young men Torah values Gaza. The concert was graced by the efforts to raise funds for this lifesaving Hadassah, are students of Bnot and the leadership skills to enable the presence of the esteemed British Chief initiative. Had a facility such as the Shulamith of Long Island. torch of Jewish leadership to pass to Rabbi, Sir Jonathan Sacks and his Ashdod Medical Center been available The yeshiva takes pride in bestowing future generations. By attending the wife, Lady Elaine Sacks. to local citizens, there is every reason the honor of Man of the Year on the 52nd annual banquet, you will assure the Nearly 300 guests, including the to believe that Irit Sheetrit might have Honorable State Senator Dean Skelos. continuity of this pioneering yeshiva as a Mayor of Ashdod, Dr. Yechiel Lasri, survived,” Mayor Lasri, who is a med- There is hardly a public servant who vibrant Torah center for our community, were entertained by the popular ical doctor, said. has served the communities of the Five our families, and our children. For more Shabbaton Choir, which was accompa- Chief Rabbi Sacks has been an Towns more faithfully and devotedly information, see ad on Page 15. O nied by renowned British chazzanim ardent supporter of Ashdod Medical than Senator Skelos. For nearly three Lionel Rosenfeld, Shimon Kramer, Center’s private initiative to fund and decades he has worked side-by-side Ashdod Benefit Concert In Memory Johnny Turgal, and 13-year-old soloist build the first fully operational emer- with countless charitable institutions Of Irit Sheetrit Eli Baigel. Mayor Lasri thanked the gency room, trauma center, and medical for education and social services to A sold-out benefit concert, spon- Friends of Ashdod Medical Center for clinic in Israel’s fifth-largest city. The maintain of the health and well-being sored by the Ashdod Medical Center, their generous contributions towards of our community. Since Mr. Skelos’s was held recently in memory of Irit the building of the facility, which is Continued on Page 60

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organization seeks to raise an additional $10 million during the next year towards the purchase of state-of-the-art medical equipment that will be used on a daily basis in the center’s various departments. For more information about Ashdod Medical Center, e- mail [email protected] or visit www.AshdodMC.org. O

Professional Performing Arts Studio In The Five Towns By 5TJT Staff As the Five Towns–Far Rockaway area continues to grow and flourish, more and more families in the frum community are getting involved in the performing arts. More than academic and spiritual enrichment is needed to create a healthy, well-rounded individual. The goal is a sound mind and a sound body. Whether it’s in schools, community centers, or studios, or at private lessons, there is a great interest in exploring talent and develop- ing skills for ourselves and our kids. However, it can be hard to find a venue in which our kids can learn music, dance, or acting instruction in a Torah environment. We want our kids to develop their talents and skills without having to compromise their emunah. So is it possible for the performing arts and a Torah way of life to go hand-in-hand? “The answer is yes!” says Zvika Bornstein, director of the Happy Feet Studio. “One can do both, and they can even complement one another.” That seems to be the goal of the new studio, which opened last November in Cedarhurst. With separate classes for girls, teens, women, and boys, this hidden treasure is a great outlet for artistic enhancement and discovery. “Happy Feet Studio,” says Bornstein, “is not just dancing. It’s a performing arts center with an array of Classical dance, Modern Dance, simcha dance, theater, magic, juggling, double Dutch, and so much more. The primary focus is on allowing each child to grow and to achieve their full potential in a safe, caring environment. The positive benefits of the enriching program at Happy Feet Studio will spill out into every aspect of the student’s life. Children and teens will gain higher levels of self-esteem and better social skills. They will easily improve coordina- tion and fitness levels in a fun- filled, positive environment.” Much thought and consideration have gone into this 60 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES enterprise. There’s something there for everybody, from beginners to the more advanced—ballet, hip-hop, contemporary, tap, stomp, acro, jazz, freestyle, Broadway, prenatal flex, lyrical, yoga, creative dance, to name a few. In addition, they offer a rewarding program of occupational therapy classes through dance and music, encouraging the child to explore and build his communications and social skills. In the not too dis- tant future, classes in art and drama will be available, as well. Local professional teachers Danielle Jacobs, Raina Butler, Denise DeSimone, Miriam Braun, Josh Zitron, and Zvika Bornstein, along with other professional choreogra- phers, musicians, and teachers with years of experience, make up the Happy Feet staff. As an additional service to the community, Happy Feet Studio will also be available for parties, events, and rentals. Whether it’s a birthday party, a bat mitzva, or any other kind of party, you will always have fun celebrating at Happy Feet! Their 1,800-square-foot studio is a full-service audio-visual facility with acoustical design, featuring a state-of- the-art sound system and a 42-inch HD plasma monitor and wireless microphone system. The studio is equipped with an array of automated and intelligent lighting systems that will make any party light up with excitement. Happy Feet Studio is located at 595 Willow Avenue (Maple Plaza across from David’s Pizza) and is having a week of free trial classes, March 8–14. Stop in and visit their beautiful new spacious studio; the first 100 visitors will receive a free gift. Their rates are really economi- cal compared with some other studios in the area and there are also some major discounts available. Classes are now in formation. Sign up today, as class sizes are limited, and join in on the fun! For more information, call 516-833- 3380 (516-83-FEET-0) or e-mail [email protected]. O

The ‘Gantzeh Megillah’ Once again, on Purim Day, as for the past eight years, the students of the Middle School of the North Shore Hebrew Academy (NSHA) of Great Neck will be in school. However, they will, by and large, be attending very willingly. In fact, many will be accompanied by their parents and siblings. Twenty-one boys from the 7th and 8th grades will chant their portions of Megillas Esther for their fellow students so that all will fulfill the mitzvah of kerias Megillah. Dr. Paul Brody, a dermatologist, often davens in the morning with the Middle School. Besides this year’s 21 students, Dr. Brody has taught the melody and cantillation of Megillas Esther to approximately 88 students (88 is the gematria of the word “Megillah”) during the past eight years, putting into fruition a plan conceived by Rabbi Dr. Michael Reichel, then the principal of the Middle School. This student-led Megillah-reading tradition has continued under the guidance of the current Middle School principal, Rabbi Stephen Knapp, with the blessings of the NSHA dean, Rabbi

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Yeshayahu Greenfeld, who helps select the readers and coordinates the schedule with Dr. Brody. Each student, whether Ashkenazic or Sephardic, reads using the melody of his own tradition. The students meet with Dr. Brody on a rotating basis to practice their skills. Dr. Brody is embarking upon his 37th year of reciting the Megillah. He vividly remem- bers the first time he read the Megillah, at the expansive Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills, led by Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld, where he grew up. He was most grateful that he didn’t have to fast that day, since this initial reading fell on a Saturday evening! The most memorable and dangerous experience of all was reading the Megillah illegally in 1985 at the Great Synagogue in Leningrad during a self-initiat- ed mission to smuggle in Judaica and meet with many Jewish refuseniks. Dr. Brody is certain that some of the “gab- baim” were actually members of the KGB. As far as he was concerned, it was “better read than dead”! Dr. Brody was instructed in the basics of the fine art of Megillah reading at the Cantorial Training Institute of Yeshiva University, by Rabbi Solomon Berl, rabbi of the Young Israel of Co-op City in the Bronx. Dr. Brody was convinced by his maternal zayde, Rabbi Jacob Brown, of blessed memory, that the task was not insurmountable. As hakaras ha’tov, Dr. Brody dons his zayde’s tallis each time he reads the Megillah. Dr. Brody tries to keep his listeners alert by employing different voices for the different cast of characters and by utiliz- ing various props to depict his- toric events occurring during the reading. His favorite Megillah scroll is one that was presented to him by the well- known Rabbi Yitzchok David Grossman, founder and dean of Migdal Ohr in the Galil, known as the “Disco Rabbi.” O

Malky Giniger And Ratzon Concert The Five Towns/Far Rockaway Ratzon Music Program proudly presents Raindrops: Hidden Blessings— A Women’s Performance featuring Malky Giniger and the voice and dance students of Ratzon. The concert is scheduled for motzaei Shabbos, March 7 at 8:15 p.m. at the Number 5 Elementary School in Cedarhurst (305 Cedarhurst Avenue). Tickets

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are available for $15, $18, $25, and $54 (sponsor). To order tickets, call 516-642-9067 or e-mail [email protected]. Five Towns/Far Rockaway Ratzon offers voice and dance classes for ladies from ages 3–103. To register for the upcoming spring semester, please call 516-642-9067. O

Chabad Of Far Rockaway Purim Party, March 9 Chabad Lubavitch of Far Rockaway invites everyone to join in the annual Purim night Megillah reading and entertainment for the entire family. As in years past, the Megillah reading is child friendly; mothers with young children have found it to be the ideal place to hear the Megillah even with their young children in attendance. This year’s entertainment will be an exciting “Bubble Show,” presented by Seth Bloom from Bubblemania. Ma’ariv and Megillah at 7:30 p.m. sharp, followed by the show at 8:15 p.m. Light refresh- ments will be served. The party is set to take place on Monday, March 9 at TAG High School, 636 Lanett Avenue in Far Rockaway. There is a suggested dona- tion of $3 per child. O

Moshe Feiglin At Manhigut Yehudit Dinner, March 11 Manhigut Yehudit–Jewish Leadership will hold its seventh annual dinner at The Sands of Atlantic Beach on Shushan Purim, 6:30 p.m., Wednesday, March 11. The dinner is dedicated to the memory of the ten brave IDF soldiers who lost their lives fighting the enemy in the recent war in Gaza. The keynote speaker will be Moshe Feiglin, co-founder and president of Manhigut Yehudit. The event will include a special movie presentation and remarks by Shmuel Sackett, co-founder and Manhigut’s international director. An acclaimed speaker and a man with a vision, Moshe Feiglin is rapidly becoming an influential figure in Israel’s ruling Likud party. He encour- ages American Jews to be active participants in his straightforward program to transform the State of Israel into an authentic Jewish State. Mr. Feiglin will offer his behind-the-scenes insights into Israeli politics, the latest elections and coalition negotiations, and what they mean to us. Manhigut Yehudit is building alterna- tive leadership for Israel—leadership based on Jewish concepts and values. Manhigut seeks to remedy the ills of Israeli society with a Jewish approach: to properly educate our children—religious and secular alike—and restore pride in the IDF. Jewish leadership will establish a court system with true representatives of the Jewish people, and populate the Land—“Yisrael HaShleimah.” Manhigut Yehudit is honoring several of its outstanding supporters. The guests of honor will be Zev (Vladimir) and Chaya Sarah (Elina) Lamm of Brooklyn. Joining them as honorees will be: Dr. Paul and Drora Brody of Great Neck, Eretz Yisrael Award, Rachelle Kirschner of Kew Gardens Hills, Eishet Chayil Award, Jeff Cohen and Pam Derby of Hillside, NJ, Young 64 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Leadership Award, and Aryeh and as a soup kitchen in the Meah Shearim ing their bodies and their souls, so they chachamim, rabbanim, and gedolim, Jolene Sonnenberg of Ramat Beit neighborhood in the heart of can pull through another day of Torah including the Lelover Rebbe, shlita, Shemesh, Israel, Lev Yehudi Award. Jerusalem. Open seven days a week, learning. And for those people who are who will daven for all donors on the Dinner guests will be treated to serving three meals a day, thousands of too weak or too proud to step foot into day before and the day of Ta’anis the latest Manhigut production, Yerushalayim’s downtrodden Yidden this place, meals are delivered to them, Esther. Purim itself is the epitome of “Campaign 2008”—a comprehensive find their way to these warm and invit- discreetly, b’derech kavod. “kol ha’poshet yad, nosnim lo.” and exciting video presentation of ing open doors. Fresh, nourishing hot This work continues all the time, Therefore, another minyan of heilige the Likud primaries. The movie meals is the lifeline for so many of including Shabbosos, yamim tovim, and Yidden will return to the tzion of R’ chronicles Moshe Feiglin’s Knesset these starving almanos, yesomim, eld- all the days in between. Shimon haTzaddik on Purim day to campaign with powerful media clips erly, and infirm, who cannot even rub For all those who partake in this repeat Sefer Tehillim and daven whole- and footage not previously available some shekalim together to buy some opportunity of performing the mitzvos heartedly for the requests of all the to the public. bread. This organization is their hatza- of matanos l’evyonim and mishloach contributors. Advance reservations are required. las nefashos. Hundreds of kinderlach manos b’hiddur there will be a special To donate, please call 800-216- Free round-trip transportation from stop by at this establishment every tefillah gathering at the kever of 8905. To listen live and daven along, Brooklyn. For dinner reservations morning on their way to cheder, reviv- Shimon haTzaddik by talmidei please call 212-461-5800, #3893. O visit www.jewishisrael.com or call 516-295-3222. O

Young Israel of Long Beach Annual Purim Carnival The Young Israel of Long Beach Youth Department invites your entire family to join in this year’s pre-Purim carnival! Features of the carnival include the amazing magic of Haroldini; indoor carnival games with prizes for all; the annual costume contest; the Purim movie theatre; and the Purim food court with hot dogs, popcorn, cotton candy, hamentashen, and more! Fun for the whole family! Sunday, March 8; doors open at 10:30 a.m., magic show at 11:30 a.m. $10/per person, $18/family includes admission, unlimited carnival games, and magic show! (Food sold separately.) For more information, please call 516-385-5183. O

Linas Hachesed: Matanos L’evyonim, Mishloach Manos, And Prayer Isn’t it every Yid’s most fervent desire to fulfill the will of the Ribbono shel Olam in the best way possible? Sometimes, though it is a daunting task. Take, for example, matanos l’evyonim and mishloach manos. In order to merit full s’char for the mitzvah (and who can’t use some credit up there) there are many different requirements that must be adhered to. One must ascertain that the recipient is a true evyon, that the funds are delivered to him on Purim day, and that the money be used for the mitzvos ha’yom. Mishloach manos in its ideal form is food that is ready to eat, namely for the Purim seudah. According to the p’sak of HaGaon HaRav Elyashiv and HaGaon HaRav Wosner, shlita, the most predictable way to ensure that your money for matanos l’evyonim and mitzvah of mishloach manos brings you the most credit (merit) is by donating it to Jerusalem Open House, Linas Hachesed. This organization, founded ten years ago under the auspices of Rabbi Chaim Cohen, shlita, operates

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 65 66 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Megillas Esther this ugly attempt and gave her regal serve the words of this Purim epistle circulating among their Jewish neigh- Continued from Page 26 refusal, setting up for the subsequent ‘the second.’” Is this Megillah a second bors. These Jews hid these docu- story. one? Several meforshim offer explana- ments, which might prove embarrass- is a descendant of Shaul. He will These points could not be clearly tions for this word, but I think that the ing, and pleaded with the queen to also recognize in the name “Agagi” written in a Megillah for the public’s simplest interpretation is the best. provide a different one. That was that Haman is from Amalek. The consumption. It would have been an Indeed, this was a second version of the when Mordechai and Esther devised biblically-ignorant gentile reader of unforgivable insult to the king, whom story which Mordechai sent out to the “this second Purim epistle” and wrote that time will recognize neither of Mordechai now served as a chief communities. The first one is probably to their Jewish communities “with all these hints. Mordechai did not want minister. alluded to in an earlier verse (9:20), power (and urgency)” to preserve them to understand that his battle 6. To make sure that any remaining where we find that Mordechai sent out only this new document (and sup- against Haman was the ancient war anti-Semites in the kingdom got the documents (a Megillah?) to all the Jews. press the old one). Thus, the embar- with Amalek. Why should they ever message that bothering Jews is no I believe that in this document, he rassing secrets were deleted, a “secu- know that they assisted in a Jewish longer a wise option, the Megillah recorded the story exactly as any good lar” document (that avoided G-d’s war, based on an enmity created reminds all, and especially at the end Jew would write it, with all the above name, as Ibn Ezra noted) was pro- centuries before, with which they duced, and only clever Jews with had nothing to do? their Talmudic minds can recognize 5. As Chazal tell us in the Talmud, many of the hidden truths, while con- Achashverosh moved up from lowly It became apparent that the gentiles were sulting the Talmud for further stock to become king by marrying the details, for Jewish eyes only. granddaughter of Nevuchadnezzar. clamoring for a document to read about all In fact, they even included a danger- Mordechai wanted only his Jewish read- ous phrase which revealed Esther’s ers to remember forever the humble feelings, convinced (correctly) that the beginnings of Achashverosh. He accom- the events. There was no Persian News and translators would not recognize its plished this by relying on our clever way meaning and would mistranslate it! of understanding texts. First, the king is World Report magazine! When Esther accepted the task of introduced by his name alone, as if he is going uninvited to plead with the king, just another fellow. Next, he is men- she said (4:16) “and as I was tioned as “ruling”—a verb form. Finally destroyed, I was destroyed.” Even the he is called “King Achashverosh.” The several times, that Mordechai, the new missing/embarrassing details includ- best Jewish translators, to this day, noun form is far more powerful than the chief minister, is a Jew…a Jew…a Jew! ed, and mentioning G-d numerous interpret it as “and if I perish, I will verb, which may be something indefi- Anti-Semites, beware! times. After all, it was meant only for perish.” But the verbs are in the past nite or temporary, e.g., the difference (In his massive and extraordinary Jewish eyes! It then became apparent tense, and the real meaning for all between “he watches the house” and commentary on the Megillah, Yosef that the gentiles were clamoring for a Jews to understand is that having been “he is the watchman of the house.” The Lekach, Rav Eliezer ben Rav Eliyahu document to read about all the events married to this gentile, she saw her life three stages also prepare us for the plot recognized this concept in his answers which changed the fate of the Jews as having been destroyed anyway, and of chapter one. Obviously, Achash- to points 1 and 3.) from potential victims to good friends that she was therefore risking nothing. verosh felt uncomfortable in this role, With the above analysis, we may now of the king. Why was Prime Minister This is exactly the way the Ramban and finally built up the courage to try to understand in a new way a strange Haman hanged? There were no daily understood it when he commented on humble the royal Vashti and make it phrase near the end of the Megillah. It newspapers, nor a Persian News and Yaakov’s similar expression (Bereishis appear that he married her only for her states (9:29), “And Queen World Report magazine! They discov- good looks. Of course, she understood Esther…wrote ‘with all power’ to pre- ered that there was a Jewish account Continued on Page 71

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 67 If the bad mortgages at the Palestine Bank do not get restored to being serv- From The Purim Press Service iced properly and in a timely fashion, they can then be written off and No Prime Minister For Israel shekel after some hard bargaining.) be in our homes. It used to be that in replaced by suitcases of cash that can be According to the chareidi media, Israel Some in the field of halachah feel order to become inebriated you had to smuggled into Gaza from Egypt and recently came extremely close to being a that having a woman as prime minister down a bottle of vodka or two six-packs of then sent via diplomatic pouch to leaderless country. Insiders at Hamodia may not be such a bad idea after all. beer. Now in this new economy all you Ramallah to cover the bad mortgages. in Israel said that had Foreign Minister This way, if she signs any agreements have to do is go through your mail. The point of the entire exercise, Tzipi Livni been selected to form Israel’s with other countries or decides to give But wait, economists at the Technion according to Israeli officials and several next government and serve as prime min- away parts of Eretz Yisrael to the in Israel have come up with a solution leading philanthropists, is to take the ister, they would not have been able to Palestinians, according to Jewish law that could quite impossibly bail out the pressure off the charitable-giving mar- report that because of the policy of not those transactions would not be binding economy in this country while alleviat- ket and place it into the toxic-debt mar- acknowledging females, either by name on the Jewish nation. Of course if such ing a crisis in another industry that has ket, which makes sense to only very few or through photos in their publication. an event comes to pass, recognizing her its origins in Israel. The economic theo- people anyway. “It’s the way to go,” said “As far as we’re concerned, we would existence will be required in order to ry is called the Meshulachim Option, Yitzchak Tshuva Tzedaka Utefila of the not have acknowledged her,” said jour- Israel finance ministry. “Needing money nalist Bigsam Vashtizadeh. “We have our and flying to the U.S. to ask for money policies which dictate to us that this is a is too simple an equation,” he said. “The man’s world and women have no place whole process makes too much sense in invading our space,” he said. He added Due to the urgency in Gaza, an expert a superficial way.” He said doing it in a that he thought that Israel in fact might senseless and convoluted way is more in be better off without a prime minister, should be called in to make the money stride with the overall direction the and if events had unfolded in that direc- world economy is taking. tion he didn’t feel that anyone would suffer in any way. “Listen, if a computer disappear more quickly than usual. Madoff Takes Off For Israel can fly a 747, then Israel can be run by Bernie Madoff maybe on his way to the the same computer probably, and I don’t Middle East over the next few weeks as a know of any computers that have this special consultant and adviser to the gender issue,” Vashtizadeh said. render her agreements as being non- and it calls for collectors from Israel tak- President of the U.S. on rebuilding the During her run for prime minister, binding, but that, the journalist said, is ing delinquent mortgages and other economy in Gaza in the aftermath of Ms. Livni wanted to meet with the sages a problem he and the chareidi press in debt as contributions and trade their Operation Cast Lead. Madoff was recruit- of Israel in Jerusalem, but the idea was general will deal with at that time. derivative value at the Jordan-Palestine ed for this key position when it was real- rejected by most. She did finally meet Bank in Rammalah. The money derived ized that earlier this week the internation- with former Sephardic Chief Rabbi A Toxic Debt Solution from depositing the bad debt at the al community, in an effort to help rebuild Ovadya Yosef, but only after putting on a If the experts are right, America is bank will go to the tzedakah collectors, the Gaza Strip following havoc wrought long dress instead of her usual pantsuit intoxicated with toxic debt. We are drunk who will in exchange not come to New by the Israeli Air Force just a few weeks and covering her head with some shmat- with bills that cannot be paid, with things York for at least one year, thereby allow- ago, raised $5 billion for reconstruction. tah she bought near the Machne Yehuda that we bought and bills that we ran up ing funds earmarked for them by philan- “It’s a lot of money,” said U.S. market for 10 shekel. (She actually and that were supposed to be paid with thropists here to be injected into the bought three such head coverings for 25 future equity value that was supposed to American economy. Continued on Page 71

68 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES pair shared personal events ond chaburah, and several oth- that strengthen emunah, and ers enjoy “auditing” the chabu- another searched through our rah’s meetings. Ideally, every tefillos to build an emunah kehillah in our community Back To Basics model. We have also spent could start such a group, which many weeks on the topics of has enhanced for each of us in BY RABBI PINCHAS emulate him. The goal of the presentation, everyone is busy anger and “s’char v’onesh,” the chaburah our appreciation CHATZINOFF chaburah is to create a group learning, thinking, and prepar- and we will soon begin our of what we are, what we share, that develops its conscious- ing throughout the week. next topic: anticipating and who we can and should be. Several months ago, as our ness of Hashem’s constant Our chaburah comprises a redemption. We vacillate Most critical to the success community struggled with yet presence, our duties in serv- wide variety of people: pro- between topics of hashkafah of this project has been the another in a series of crises, it ing Him, and how to integrate fessionals, businessmen, a and mussar. great power that lies within struck me that somehow we these rudimentary and bound- kollel student, rabbis, and This intelligent and talent- each Jew. Attendance at a had drifted away from many lessly enriching principles others, ranging in age from ed group of men uses any shiur or a mussar va’ad is of the fundamental ideals that into our lives. mid-twenties to past seventy, manner of sources, from the important and meaningful. distinguish us in the world. The chaburah is designed as and backgrounds from Gemara to Rambam to Rav But to accept upon oneself Kabbalas HaTorah and a life of a group of 12 men, plus I serve yeshivish to modern to ba’alei Yisroel Salanter to contempo- the responsibility of teaching Torah ideals provide so much the group every few weeks, to of the framework and context commit to work and prepare, of our daily lives, yet for so and the courage to share many in the Torah communi- openly our thoughts, feelings, ty, our hold on our precious It seemed to me that many of us doubts, and questions, is so Torah, and our capacity to much more engaging than place Torah values at the core mere attendance. It is “back of our existence, was weak. had lost our way to our own to yeshiva” in a manageable Indeed, whether it was frac- and meaningful way, and tures in our integrity, infidelity essential holiness. often embraces the very topics in family relationships, dis- that many did not learn and tractions that had become explore in yeshiva. obsessions, or some other of May Hashem empower the latest overwhelming chal- each of us, whether through a lenges confronting our com- as the moderator. The key teshuvah. Each pairing of rary social scientists to per- chaburas yirei Shamayim or munity and its individuals, it components when I chavrusos takes on a different sonal experience, and an array otherwise, to muster our com- seemed to me—and others announced the project were flavor, so that after all six of techniques, in creating and mitment and fulfill our duties with whom I discussed this that membership in the pairs have presented on a teaching its thesis to the to Him, intensify our yiras crisis within the crises—that chaburah is a privilege, and topic, and the ensuing ques- group, including PowerPoint Shamayim, and thus keep us many of us had lost our way, that a genuine investment of tions and discussions have presentations, handouts, on the right course through- slipping in our foundational time and energy is a require- unfolded, we have a fresh, games, drama, and the like. out the challenges of life. O commitments to HaKadosh ment of each of its members. vibrant handle on the con- This Yiras Shamayim project Baruch Hu and to our own The moderator selects the cepts, and a meaningful way has become a jewel in our Rabbi Pinchas Chatzinoff is mara essential holiness. The very “focal point” of discussion, of applying them every day. kehillah’s crown. Several peo- d’asra of Congregation Tifereth Zvi in essence of our being was and which becomes the curricu- The moderator’s role is to ple are anxious to start a sec- Cedarhurst. is yiras Shamayim, our fear of lum for several weeks of keep everyone moving, pro- Heaven, and many of us had chaburah meetings. The dozen vide sources during the week meandered far afield from this men are paired off into when chavrusos get stuck, cornerstone and had little idea chavrusos (which change every and ensure that our free- how to chart a course back. few months), and each pair ranging discussions do not After brainstorming with must take turns making a get too far off topic. rabbis, kollel yungeleit, baalei 15–20 minute presentation of As an example, our first batim, and anyone who would each focal point. Each pair focal point was emunah. listen, I devised a project to ends its presentation with a There was some confusion as chart that course. The practical homework assign- to how and where to begin. “Chaburas Yirei Shamayim” ment that everyone in the One group presented an ana- was launched the week of chaburah must complete for lytical approach to emunah, Parashas Vayeitzei. I told my the following week. The demonstrating how Jews are kehillah that just as Yaakov chaburah meets just once a predisposed to faith. Another Avinu went to Yeshivas Shem week, but between homework group became engrossed in v’Ever to study the fundamen- and preparation with one’s the distinction between emu- tals of life in galus, so must we chavrusa for an upcoming nah and bitachon. Yet another

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 69

Pre-Purim Party At Woodmere Rehab

The seventh graders of the Shulamith School created beautiful masks with the residents of Woodmere Rehabilitation and Health Care Center.

Above left: Morris Greenstein with the Shulamith students.

Above right: Martin Fuchs and Lillie Alexander with the Shulamith students.

And you shall put in the breastplate of judgment the Urim and the Tumim (Sh’mos 28:30) The Urim and Tumim (“illu- minator and verifier”) was an inscription of the Name of G-d. Inserted in the folds of the Breastplate, it caused the letters inscribed on its stones to light up in response to queries posed by the community leaders, as it is written (Number 27:21):“And [Yehoshua] shall stand before Elazar the priest, who shall ask counsel for him after the judgment of the Urim before G- d: by this word shall they go out, and by this word they shall come in, both he, and all the Children of Israel with him.” This is why it was called the “breastplate of judgment,” since it decided and determined things for the people. (Rashi;Talmud)

70 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

The Purim Press Obama said, “that despite the photographers were capitaliz- Megillas Esther here. Had the first version cir- Continued from Page 68 large sums of money involved, ing on a market that had been Continued from Page 67 culated, she would undoubted- Mr. Madoff is not dealing with spurred in the direction of over- ly have been the first victim of Undersecretary of the Treasury, any tax issues—largely because spending, at a time when lead- 43:14), “As I have been bereft, I the scorn and fury of the popu- P.L.Z. Ripmeoff, at a news con- no one in this administration ers were asking for curtailment. have been bereft.” Ramban lace. She must have had a lot ference. He added that can figure out what’s going on.” But now, in true Purim fash- writes, “The correct [meaning] of input into this version. President Obama understood “And that’s a good thing,” ion, the opposite has occurred. is that he is saying, ‘You cannot Perhaps that is why it is called well that the Hamas govern- the President concluded. Today, even those who can still add upon me [the term] “Megillas Esther”! ment is extremely proficient in afford opulence are opting for “bereft,” for I was already This thesis also explains implementing methods by Finally, Reverse Takanos the understated. Those who bereft…similar to [Esther’s] “as the many times we find four which billions of dollars can go After years of effort and once drooled over the idea of a I have been destroyed I have words in a row which either to waste or just disappear expe- campaigning to tone down the 15-piece band at their simcha been destroyed,” i.e., I am begin or end with the four ditiously. The President, opulence and frivolity at wed- don’t see anything particularly already destroyed, and if they letters of G-d’s special name though, felt that due to the dings and bar mitzvahs, what objectionable to a one-man kill me it will not add destruc- of Havayah. Jewish readers urgency in Gaza and the high could not be accomplished by band or a two-piece ensemble tion upon me.” I cannot under- looking for G-d in this priority this administration so many community leaders that can make just as much stand why our translators Megillah surely found them places on restoring Gaza to the has finally turned itself noise. Black-and-white photo- ignored this excellent and literal all, a discovery that is impos- way in which it operated prior around and was accomplished graphs, at $3,000 extra, are interpretation of the Ramban, sible in any translation. to the war, an expert should be seemingly on its own. rapidly dissolving back into the and preferred to render past In writing this Megillah with called in to make the money Over the past decade, intense yesteryear that they came from. tense verbs in the future tense. its secret clues for Jews, while disappear more quickly than pressure has been applied to The move back to frugality My astute and learned son, hiding embarrassing facts from usual, said Mr. Ripmeoff. limit the number of musicians, might be nice, but it may be R. Binyamin, made two obser- the gentiles, Mordechai and In a news conference last photographers, and hot dishes conjuring up a different crisis vations. First, in contrast to the Esther truly needed, and had, week, President Obama refer- provided at vorts, weddings, and in the simcha-making industry. “earlier” scroll, for this second unique Divine inspiration— enced the situation when he bar mitzvahs. There was an out- So, there is now a move afoot version, the text adds “words of ruach ha’kodesh—to record it explicitly said, “We live in a time cry, with people insisting that to declare that there should be peace and truth.” Although in such a clever and masterful when virtually no one has any division between the have’s and at least two hot dishes at every some details were omitted, way. By including it in our holy money. Thankfully, today being the have-not’s was becoming too vort, along with at least five bot- without falsifying the facts, this Tanach, Chazal indicated that broke is a badge of honor. People obvious and profound. Constant tles of liquor. Music at a simcha version was able to maintain they fully recognized and con- who still have money and are attention was being paid to the should now feature at least a the peace, rather than the dire firmed that this masterpiece spending their own money idea that people were placing five-piece band. In addition, the consequences that would have was written with highest rather than a government hand- themselves in impossible debt so call is out for those attending occurred had the earlier ver- prophetic power. Indeed, both out should feel a sense of shame. that their simcha could be just weddings to shut off the cam- sion circulated among the gen- Mordechai and Esther are list- This is not the America that we like the Schwartzes’ down the eras along with their cell phones tile citizens. Second, while the ed as prophets (Megillah 14a; want our children to see.” block from them. during chuppahs so as not to presumed first version was see Rashi there). O He continued, “Bernard No one knew what to do or compete with the professional written by Mordechai alone Madoff is a great American. It’s where to turn. The declarations picture-takers. Over a very short (9:20), here the text (9:29) From the appendix to Chumash VaYikra, in the 5-volume work on not an easy task to juggle $50 and pronouncements were con- time, we’ve come full circle, just states, “And Esther…and Chumash, Great Torah Lights from billion for thirty years and come stant, but few seemed to want as they did on those days of yore Mordechai… wrote with all Great Torah Minds (Devorah Pub., 5768). Rabbi Goodman is retired as through the ordeal fairly to voluntarily pay attention. in Shushan haBirah. power…the second.” Esther is the rabbi of Young Israel of Far unscathed. You will notice,” Mr. The caterers, musicians, and Happy Purim to all. O mentioned before Mordechai Rockaway.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 71 Chanukah Wonderland event. concern was that a hashkafic discus- Trying to change someone’s mind at When Traumas On a more global level, Klal Yisrael sion might hinder sincere expression all, let alone following a traumatic just marked the first yahrtzeit of the of emotions. But many community incident, can be a difficult task. One Mercaz HaRav carnage, while many are members were looking to the rav for paradigm shift that can be quickly Add Up: still reeling from the Mumbai massacre. spiritual guidance and support at this implemented, however, was highlight- A few years ago, the entire world critical time, and left feeling worse ed in a chabad.org piece this week. focused on the massive trauma trig- than when they came in. “Grieving Community Transforms Ten Steps To Helping gered by the Asian tsunami. Now, we Utilize some of the “teachable Dinner into Joyous Honoring of Boy’s sometimes feel like we’ve been hit by a moments” that result from a traumatic Life” read the headline describing the Children Cope tsunami of trauma. How do we help event (serious illness, injury or death). Annual Five Towns Chabad Dinner children who are impacted by so For example, you can accentuate the which took place as scheduled a day BY MOSHE BOROWSKI, much, so soon? outpouring of chesed and tefillah sur- after Rabbi Wolowik’s son’s unexpect- LMSW, ACSW While situations should always be rounding the incident. ed petirah. The caption says it all: dealt with on an individualized basis, In the rush to help children focus while sincerely and painfully acknowl- A community lays bereft as two it’s important to discuss a few general on the positive, be careful not to inad- edging the “grieving,” try to balance it deaths hit the Five Towns/Far steps that can be taken. Please note vertently ignore or trample their feel- with a focus on “community,” “joyous Rockaway area within a week. First, a that some of these points were dis- ings. Make sure that they have the honoring,” and “life.” venerable menahel and mechanech. cussed briefly following the Chanukah opportunity to give vent to their feel- “Our community has been hit with Then, the young son of a dedicated rav Wonderland accident (5TJT of 1/9/09). ings. Assure them that their responses another tragedy” translates into “Oy, and mekarev. 1. Keep G-d and Judaism in the pic- are normal, even if you see that they this is dreadful. How can we cope with That’s in addition to the local trau- ture. Following the sudden death of a have not yet become spiritually yet another incident?” The same mas of recent weeks and months. We young girl, a local shul held a program “moved” by the moment. words, with a slightly different inflec- just watched as our neighboring to help congregants deal with the loss. 2. Be a menachem. Rav Shimon tion, become, “Our community has Latino community buried three chil- The rabbi kicked off the evening by Schwab once defined nechamah as the been hit with another tragedy”—yes, dren and a mother a few days ago. saying, “For tonight’s presentation, we act of changing someone’s mind. He our closeness intensifies our hurt right Some still suffer in silence from resid- are going to take G-d out of the picture based this on numerous verses in now, but ultimately, achdus will carry ual effects stemming from the acci- and focus solely on how you are coping Tanach where the root of the word is us through these trying times.” dent that occurred during the emotionally.” Some assumed that his used in this context. 3. Compartmentalize. When I grew up, one of my favorite comic strips was Lil’Abner by cartoonist Al Capp. One of the characters was Joe Btfsplk, a young man with a small, dark rain cloud per- petually hovering overhead. When traumas accumulate for a person, they may feel like hapless Joe, with everything gathering together to form this impenetrable personal cloud that refuses to go away. Years ago, a number of schools and communities were hit with illnesses and losses within a relatively short period of time. Many perceived these incidents to be occurring on a monthly basis. When I went to a yeshiva for a crisis intervention on the last week of the school year, the niftar’s classmates could hardly talk about him. Many were too overwhelmed by the veritable whirlwind of cumulative trauma that they were experiencing. “Who’s next?” was the recurring theme. Help children to gain perspective. The sky is not falling. “Everyone” is not getting sick or dying. Validate the emotional fear while simultaneously appealing to the intellect. Yes, tragedies do seem to be occurring with inordi- nate frequency, yet the incredible majority of people are healthy and well. Hashkafically and statistically, you have every right to assume that it is not going to happen to you or your family. Please note: that does not mean that you can minimize any of the pain experienced by those impacted, or that hashkafic implications for self- improvement should be ignored. Also, the battle between intellect and emotion can be a tough one. This approach can often prove easier said than done. 4. Normalize and universalize children’s reactions. Children may fear that they are weird or crazy due to their reactions to trauma. Assure them that their experiences are normal and shared by many (while being careful not to minimize the unique- ness of what they are going through). As the psychiatrist/author Dr. Viktor Frankl (a Holocaust survivor who wrote the seminal work, Man’s Search for Meaning) observed: “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal 72 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES situation is normal.” Dr. David Pelcovitz, an internationally renowned expert in trauma and loss, often discusses the coping traits of “attenders” and “distracters.” Recently, one of my sons had some blood drawn at the pediatrician’s office. He made sure to watch the hypodermic needle the whole time. When I asked him about this, he responded, “Of course I looked. It’s my arm and my blood, so I wanted to see what was going on!” An attender feels more in control by observing and talking about the circumstances. On the other hand, distracters will discuss sports, the weather, the number of tiles on the ceiling. They will do cross- word puzzles or play Sudoku—basically, anything that keeps their minds off of the situation at hand. Studies show that trying to change a child’s coping style can actually trigger the opposite of the desired effect, causing them to handle the situation worse than they nor- mally would have. 5. No man is an island. Simon and Garfunkel once sang, “I am a rock, I am an island.” Not only does that not ring true for most people, the mere idea of “going it alone” is downright scary for children. One reason that younger children often repeat their questions is to “wrap their minds” around what has happened. They may also be crav- ing assurance that they will be OK. Explain to them that, “Our family shares together in all important things that go on. You are OK now, and will always be cared for.” In addition to sincere ver- bal assurances, provide hugs or supportively put your arm around their shoulders. Point out the concrete measures that are being taken to ensure health and safety. “Doctors/Hatzolah members/Police are doing x,y, and z. Now we will be going to this place. Tomorrow we will do this.” Be careful not to make blanket promises that nothing bad will ever happen (now or in the future), but do not expound upon dire possibilities. O

(To be continued next week)

Moshe Borowski, LMSW, ACSW, is the founder and director of SSTART (School & Synagogue Trauma and Resilience Training), a non-profit organization helping children, families, schools, and communities cope with various types of trauma and loss. He has been involved in counseling, chinuch, and kiruv for over 25 years, and is in private practice in the Five Towns and Brooklyn. SSTART can be reached at [email protected] or 646-673-5909. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 73 Daf Yomi Insights 1

Purim Puzzle should watch their children during B Y RABBI AVROHOM this time. The upshot is that a man SEBROW should help his wife, especially when she has to prepare meals. To all my loyal readers who are used Picture #2. A man pays his entrance to my strange photos: Test your mem- fee to the Far Rockaway men’s mikveh 2 ory and see if you can recall how each with eggs. This picture appeared in the picture relates to the daf. Further, February 8, 2008 edition. It relates to a which photo has not yet appeared in comment made by the Tosefos Rid in 4 conjunction with my articles? Here are Nedarim 46b, that people would pay their the answers: entrance fee to bathhouses with eggs. Picture #1. Man recites Tehillim Picture #3. A dumpster diver discov- after helping his wife peel vegetables. ers discarded diamonds. This picture This picture appeared in the March 9, appeared in the July 18, 2008 edition. 2007 edition. The Gemara in Megillah It relates to the Gemara in the begin- says that yom tov davening should start ning in Maseches Gittin, where a man a little later. Rashi says that the found a get in the trash and decided to delayed start is to give women more use it. Did the dumpster diver discover time to prepare for the yom tov meals. divine direction to dutifully divorce his 3 Rav Yaakov Emden says that the men darling dearest, or was he derelict in doing due diligence? 6 Picture #4. Everyone knows that you take the 878 South to Atlantic Beach, right? (See smaller green sign!) This picture appeared in the July 11, 2008 edition. It relates to the Gemara at the end of Maseches Sotah which discusses escorting guests. That mitzvah includes giving directions. This is necessary even nowadays, as signs can sometimes be confusing. 5 Picture #5. An elephant on a stool. This photo from last November illus- trates perfectly how to acquire a large Picture #6: This photo has yet to Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz animal without using meshichah: The appear. But I imagine I will find some Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead and is an outreach professional at JEP of LI. He animal steps onto the purchaser’s object. use for it shortly. O can be contacted at [email protected].

74 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 75 76 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 77 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

Simchas Naava Study with Steve. One-on-one tutoring. Share your simcha flowers! Be SAT Math prep, regents, high school m’sameach other simchas! Donate your and elementary math, high school fresh flower arrangements! We will physics. Call 516-371-5522 match your simcha date with simchas following yours or deliver them Come in for a Free frame and standard to nursing home residents. inspection. Don't get taken for a ride. To donate or obtain flower Precision Auto Body 691 Burnside Ave, arrangements call 516-239-6066 Lawrence. 516-371-1137. Friends don't In memory of a special friend, Naava Wassner Katlowitz let friends drive junk!

Plumbing and Heating: Sundial Menadvim— Furniture and Appliances. Plumbing. Boilers/water heaters serviced Like new to Donate and Receive. Call and installed. All leaks fixed. Bathrooms, 718-MEN-ADVIm (718-636-2384) We kitchens, basements. No job too big or deliver. small. Call 718-252-1234 Yara’s Cleaning Service We pay atten- Photography - Small Event Specialist tion to every detail and leave your home, Bar/Bat Mitzva - Bris - Yeshiva/Shul office, or store spotless at an affordable Functions - Family Portraits price with expert reliability and trust- Reasonable prices - Quality Work - Fast worthy service. Call 917-578-3240 Turnaround. Call Eli - 516-319-7709 Top $ Paid! Looking to buy your unwanted Gold & Silver. Boro Park Ladies’ Hat Gemach and Call Chaya 917-805-0987 Girls’ Coat Gemach now accepting these items in excellent condition. Drop New Table and Chair Gemach for off available in Woodmere. To donate short-term simchas. 740 Mador Ct., Far call 718-972-3211 Rockaway. Call 718-471-0368

Too Much to Type? Too Much to Do? Straight A Tutoring — NYS Certified College Reports, Simcha Lists, Tutor in Mathematics, Regents, SAT, Secretarial Support. Call Gold Star Algebra, Trigonometry, Calculus. Typing Service for help. Reasonable Buy 4 Lessons Get The 5th Free! rates. Call 718-471-9712 Call Jared Katz 516-270-5979

Private tutor — NYS Certified teacher. Golda E. Bornfreund, MS. Elementary Mortgage Or Credit Card Debt Hebrew and English subjects, home- Problems? Know your rights. Call the work help, study skills/organizational law offices of Shlomo Haft, Esq. for a skills, test-taking strategies. free and confidential consultation. 516-650-0758 Reasonable rates. Call 212-886-4545

The Computer Place Computer Consultants, Technical Support, Network, Internet Solutions. Call 800-613-2634 Your Real Estate,

Thorough cleaning of houses or offices 3 Service, or times weekly; own transportation; great references; reasonable prices. Help Wanted Ad Call Maria 516-208-9631

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Kollel Yungerman available to learn what’s happening in the with your son Gemora or Mishnayos. 5 Towns by reading Review class material or undertake a challenging project. Available after The Five Towns Yeshiva and some hours during Yeshiva. Call 917-842-2587 Jewish Times.

Deadline is Monday at 5:00 p.m. 1 Week ...... $35 2 Weeks...... $60 4 Weeks ...... $100

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78 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES HELP REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE WANTED FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE

Stockbrokers — Lantern Investments. Valley Stream: Nu 2 Mkt. Brick ranch, Looking for a Beautiful Home in a Offices in LI and NYC offer experienced great condition, quiet street. Nu EIK, GREAT Community? Look no fur- brokers exceptional growth opportunity. LR, Den, Lg Prop ...... $439K ther than Oceanside, NY. Find out High Payout. Latest tech and research. For Rent ...... $2,500 why so many young frum families Benefits. 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 are moving to this warm and friend- 516-374-0002 or fax 516-374-8443, ly community. Spacious and [email protected] Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! Extremely Affordable Homes. Call 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, Robert Manel at 516-458-4847 Hal Experienced secretary wanted for elec- 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, Knopf Realty trical business in Hewlett area. F/T. clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space [email protected] Want to Hebrew speaking a plus. parking, 2 family, professional use, know how you can save $25K - $55K Fax resume to 516-812-7607 accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- on the purchase of your new home? tional and religious uses. Grand colonial Call David C. Welner at 718-928- Feel Good About What You Do For A with charm and great possibilities. 4775 Living! Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable [email protected]. Career Opportunities On Long Island Owner 516-322-3555 Hewlett (Male)— Full time positions available for direct care workers to Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full Hewlett — Updated 5 BR home on over- work Afternoon/ Evening Shifts with Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. size property, oak floors, den with vault- 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great men who have developmental disabili- ...... $729K Location ...... $599K ties in a residential setting. Permanent 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 ed ceilings and fireplace, finished base- Call 516-322-3555 full-time positions offer a full medical ment sd#14 ...... $559,000 package plus additional employee bene- Law: Hi Ranch. Must see, 4br, 2.5bth, pugatch.com 833-6004 Cedarhurst — Open House Sunday 1-2:30 fits. **Other positions available – Part fam rm, CAC, 2 car garage, large time Medical Escort: Monday – Friday prop ...... $800sK PM Attention: Large property, corner Flexible hours, Overnight— Friday and Ced: Nu2Mkt, 2Fam, 3br/3br, 2fpl, 451 Summit Avenue — 5 BR, 2.5 Bath, Cedarhurst and Woodmere 150x100 apx. Saturday 11PM – 8AM. deck, all new, grt loc, full bsmt $795K 50x150 lot, low tax. Price reduced!$499K 13 large rooms, 3 baths. Good for Cedarhurst (Male)— Seeking full time Cedarhurst: CH col., new quality Jessica Silver Realty 516-295-0306 Supervising Direct Care Workers to construction. 7 bedroom, 4.5 bths, den, kindergarten, elementary school, yeshi- work with boys who have Autism in a LR, DR, oversized gourmet, granite va, synagogue, or other institution. residential setting. Positions available EIK, huge FDR, 9' ceiling, finished Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place Parking garage for 4 cars and 2 buses. during the Afternoon /Evening or basement prime location. Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning Weekend shifts. Responsibilities include Asking ...... $1.25M Immediate. Reasonable. cul-de-sac, best location ...... $850K Call 516-902-0936 supervision of direct care staff, docu- 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Owner 347-439-8234 mentation and tracking, and attending case conferences. Experience with spe- Lawrence — New to market — Totally cial populations, supervisory experi- restored grand 3 story, grand brick col ence, and good writing skills required. 7+ BR, many details large property Bachelors level degree preferred. Lawrence Co-op’s **Other positions available - Part time: Open Houses 11-12 p.m. Sunday 1PM – 11PM, Friday and 250 Central Ave apt E219 — Jr 4. . $149 Saturday 11PM – 8AM. 261 Central Ave apt. B1— 2 BR, 1st flr Lawrence (Male)— Part time Medical ...... $189K Escort: Monday – Friday Flexible hours 284 Central Ave apt. D6 — 2 BR, 2 bth with men who have developmental disabilities in a residential setting...... $234K Please call Human Resources 718-686- For rent 3102, fax your resume to 718-851-6428 or 136 Sutton Pl — Renovated 5 BR, home e-mail it to [email protected] in-park setting 376 Central Ave— Beautiful 1 BR, 1.5 Local retail store in Cedarhurst is hir- bths, luxury bldg 24-hr doorman ing part-time / full time sales associate Woodmere — by appt. will train. 516-792-1191 1031 Dartmouth Lane — 5 BR, park setting...... $600’s Volunteer to spend a few wonderful 137 Park St — 6 BR, c/h col, beautiful hours on Purim day to deliver Shaloch Tree St area ...... $800’s Manos to residents of nursing homes — Multi-level home with and hospitals. Call Izzy 212-365-8892 63 Captains Rd waterview ...... $600’s New salon looking for experienced: hair 75 Wood Lane Woodsburgh — dresser/sheitel macher, make-up Renovated 5 BR home on beautiful artist, manicurist, masseuse in central property Cedarhurst area. 554 Barnard Ave — 4 BR, new kosher Please call 516-791-2520 or 646-270-3381 EIK ...... $559K Male shadow needed in Far Rockaway West Lawrence 156 B. 9 — New condo yeshiva full time. Must be physically bldg– Steps to beach sale or rent 12-2 p.m. able to assist wheelchair-bound teenage Milky Forst Properties, Inc. boy. Good hourly wage. Please e-mail 516-239-0306 resume to [email protected] Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K COMMERCIAL Call 516-322-3555 REAL ESTATE Woodmere — Prime location, 3 BR, 2 bath, exp ranch, 1/3 acre in sd 14. $549,000. pugatch.com 516-295-3000 Excellent mixed use property located minutes from JFK! 2 buildings, 4 resi- Lawrence — Updated 4 bedroom 3 full dential + 2 commercial units. Excellent bath CH Colonial New kosher eik, den income producer ...... $1.29M finished basement on cul-de-sac. Ruth Redlener, Prudential D.E.R.E. $895,000. pugatch.com 516-295-3000 516-884-6698 Far Rockaway/Lawrence: 2 BR/ 2 BA, Far Rockaway Investment property for Newly Renovated, Dead-end street. sale. Small multi-family building Stable Price...... $539K tenancy, well-maintained. Call Owner: 516-750-9257 Hewlett — Commercial strip center. Stable tenancy, good cash flow. West Palm Beach — Bulk condo pack- Classified Ads are age. For additional information, please contact Ari Schulman at Continued on the Next Page. Weissman Realty Group 516-791-6100 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 79 CLASSIFIED ADS REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE Continued from Page 79 FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE REAL ESTATE Luxurious apartments: Penthouse in Woodmere — Brand new construction on Woodmere — Charming 6 bedroom, 3 FOR SALE Bucman, Modiin. 5 BR, balconies, Clubhouse Road in the heart of full bath (marble), completely renovat- Shabbos elevator, 2 sinks, 2.5 bths. Woodmere Park. Contemporary style ed. Large kitchen (granite counter- ...... $350K home. 6 BR, 4 Bths, custom granite tops), hardwood floors, central air-con- Far Rockaway: 2 Fam. All NU Villa 6 BR, c/ac, parking, storage, back- kosher kitchen, Radiant Heat, Alarms, ditioning, balcony, two-car driveway, 3 over 3 Br. 4Fbth, Dr, Full bsmt yard ...... $550K Camera equipped, hardwood floors, plus spacious backyard. Mahogany All features ...... $779K Call 718-471-8888 much, much more. Price reduced. doors/wooden window frames through- Call 516-263-6417 Motivated seller!...... $1.45M out...... $900’s Call 646-554-4170 Cedarhurst: Nu to Mkt. Handyman Woodmere Park — Brand new Lawrence — NU 2 Mkt. Col., Brk., Mediterranean style construction. 6 BR, Open House 3/8 1-3 Woodmere co-op— Large property, near ALL, 5Br, 3.5Bth, Special/ Builder, 50'x100',Quiet Block, 141 Woodmere Blvd. Apt G1 Priced low, Den, full bsmt ...... $1.9M Prime loca'n, Quick Sale: . . . . . $329K 3.5 Bths, kosher granit kitchen, Radiant pet friendly, large 2 BR, 2 new bths, Call 516-322-3555 5 Town Homes 516-569-5710 heat, Alarms, Camera equipped. first floor. No reasonable offer refused. Motivated seller! ...... $1.4M ...... Under $200K Call Sherri 516-297-7995 Cedarhurst co-op — Near all! First Weissman Realty Group, LLC floor, large 2 BR, 2 new baths, updated 516-791-6100 kitchen. Rent $2,300, sale under $300K

Lawrence — Brick contemporary. 6 BR Reduced price! Inwood — 346 Grand 7 bths. 8,800 interior. Mint 1.2 acre prop. Central. Great investment. 2 family ...... $2+M or $10K/mo. colonial. 7 BR, 2.5 bths, new siding and Cedarhurst — 3 BR colonial. . . . $399K roof, fully alarmed with igs, large yard. Woodmere — 3 BR ranch. Mint . $499K Walk to all! $449K. Broker 516-523-0488 Smolinsky Properties 516-295-4444

Lawrence: OURS ONLY!! Miami Beach — Tower 41. Ocean View. BRICK, C/H COL, Stately BRICK, w/old 1 bdrm, 17th floor. Stunning. world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 732-522-0813 BTHS, Kosher Eik, Lg. LR W/FPL, Lg. FDR, Library, Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., Kings Point Delray Beach condo for WALK ALL. sale 1,100 sq. feet. 2 BR, 2 bths, new 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 European kitchen and appliances, updated bath, new carpets, 24-hour guarded community. Golf, theater, FOR RENT library ...... $199,999 Call 631-664-0075

Woodmere — Beautifully updated 3 bed- Boca Raton, FL — Passover 10 days. room 3 bath Colonial with den and fin- Beautiful house. 3 BR, completely kash- ished basement set on O/S property in ered kitchen, pool, kosher stove, across sd#14 ...... $779,000 from BRS shul. pugatch.com 516-295-3000 561-361-8104, 561-542-3680, Mr. Murray

80 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

FOR RENT FOR RENT FOR RENT MISCELLANEOUS

Nicest house rental in Far Rockaway. Far Rockaway — Apartment available. Far Rockaway — 2 Huge Office Spaces. DIRECTV Free 4 Room System! 265+ Beautiful, Ready to move in, 5 BR Brand new construction. Furnished or 6,000 and 2,500 Sq Ft. 2nd Floor. Near Channels! Starts $29.99/month. Free house on excellent block in Far unfurnished. 3 BR, 2bths. Cleaning and Subway & LIRR. Build to Suit. Can be HBO + Showtime + Starz! Free Rockaway. Brand new kitchen and very laundry services available. Perfect for divided. Owner 917-359-9776 DVR/HD! 130 HD Channels! No Start spacious backyard. Up Costs! Ends Soon! Local Installers! the elderly. Call Sherri 516-569-5450 Call owner 917-617-0768 1-800-973-9027 Woodmere/Cedarhurst — 2 BR avail- Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom able. Secure buildings, new EIK, close Lawrence — 247 Rockaway Tpke, Free DIRECTV 4 Room System! 265 Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator to all and train station. 1 month’s free Spacious house for rent, newly renovat- Channels! Starts $29.99/month. Free bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at ed, 4/5 bedrooms, 2 Bath, LR, FDR, new rent! . . . $1,600 Call Sherri 516-297-7995 HBO + Showtime + Starz! Free Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, granite kitchen, fireplace, large yard, Far Rockaway listings DVR/HD! 130 HD Channels! No Start transportation, and shopping. garage ...... $2,700 Hicksville Road 2 BR, 1 bth, ground Up Costs! Ends Soon! Local Installers! Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 917-642-4308 or [email protected] floor, new windows, new kitchen, per- 1-800-306-1953 fect for elderly, available immediately. Cedarhurst — NU House, CH Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 Call Weissman Realty Group Ocean Corp. Houston, Texas. Train for Col.LR,FDR, Kosher Eik, bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, 516-791-6100 New Career. Underwater Welder, Den,4BR.3BTHS. Bsmt...... …$3,200 LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Weissman Realty Group, LLC Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. 516-791-6100 Inspector. Job placement and financial Cedarhurst — House Rental LR/FDR, Walk all ...... $2,250 aid for those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 den, 3br, 2.5bth, Fin. Bsmt . . . . . $2,300 Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, Call 516-322-3555 FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. N Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch in Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. Woodmere — For rent by owner. 2 bed- 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Deadline room, 1 bathroom, eat-in-kitchen, living 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 room/dining room, private entrance. Inwood — 8 offices available for rent. for Advertising Minutes from all shuls $1,600+utilities. Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, Total 3000 square feet. Newly renovated. Call 917-327-1291 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Call 516-322-3555 Can also be used as a warehouse. in the For more information, Danrich Realty Far Rockaway — apts for rent. 4 BR, new construction. Near all. New appli- Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place 718-441-28008 Next Issue is ances. First floor includes backyard Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning ...... $1,900 Second floor $1,750 cul-de-sac, best location. $4K monthly Tuesday, March 10 516-445-4048, ask for Barry. Call Irene 516-652-7099 COMMERCIAL Cedarhurst: Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. FOR RENT at 5:00 P.M. Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., incld. $2,500. 5Town Homes 516-569-5710 Call CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 Cedarhurst — Store for rent. Low $ per square foot. Great location. Inwood — Warehouse/Storage space Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq ft, fully For additional information, please con- 516-984-0079 available for Rent. 12,400 Sq. Ft. All or wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. tact Ari Schulman at partial. Call 917-535-2277 Call 516-322-3555 Weissman Realty Group 516-791-6100

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 81 Elchonon Kramer, z’l (1988–2009)

BY MEIR FENSTER how their days were often brightened mountain. Constant beneficiaries of by an upbeat “good morning” or Elchonon’s ceaseless kindness were Family, friends, rebbeim, neighbors, “hello” from Elchonon; even one of the his good friends and peers in the colleagues, acquaintances, Yeshiva yeshiva’s custodians paid a shivah visit shiur. Whenever someone had diffi- Tiferes Yisroel, and the Flatbush com- to the Kramer family and vividly culties grasping a step of shiur, munity as a whole are mired in intense recounted how Elchonon greeted him Elchonon would graciously volunteer sorrow and mourning over the jarring warmly several times a day. A neighbor his time to help out his friend, never loss of our 21-year-old dear friend, reported that one time, upon returning giving the person the impression that Elchonon Kramer, z’l. The quintessen- from a shopping spree with a car full of the person was imposing upon him. tial mentsch, Elchonon was loved and bags and a crying baby, she stepped out Elchonon’s tremendous chesed will be cherished by everyone he met—even of the car as Elchonon happened to be greatly missed. those with whom he had very limited passing by. Unprompted, Elchonon Elchonon excelled in his shemiras interaction. Never satisfied with his graciously brought in all her bags with ha’sedorim and seriousness toward naturally kind disposition, he was a a smile and even offered to put away davening and learning. Every day with- paradigmatic ba’al mussar, always striv- the goods in their proper places, so out fail, he was among the first ing to improve his already charismatic that she could tend to her child. talmidim to arrive at yeshiva for before morning seder—planned out to personality. His chashivus haTorah and Always looking to capitalize on an Shacharis, usually coming 10–15 min- the minute. When recently given the tremendous hasmadah were legendary opportunity to be mashpia on a mesiv- utes before minyan so that he could choice between two dental proce- as well; his tireless toiling on every ta bachur, Elchonon had numerous chap a brief seder and put on his tefill- dures, he asked the dentist which one step of shiur and shmuessen gradually Gemara and mussar sedarim with sev- in before Pesukei D’zimra com- could be performed between 1:30 and propelled him to his rank as the top eral high-school boys. His kesher with menced. Watching him daven every 2:45, Elchonon’s midday break. bachur in yeshiva. Because he was them extended far beyond the limud tefillah with such immense kavanah Furthermore, notwithstanding his such a superior oveid Hashem, it is in which he and they were engaged, was a special experience. When peo- athletic prowess and enjoyment of important and highly beneficial to though; he took a genuine interest in ple commented to his mother at the playing basketball, he always left the reflect upon the factors that led to his each boy’s personal life and prob- shivah house on how unfortunate it Tuesday-night beis midrash basketball success and the fine attributes that he lems, and, on many occasions, even was that she did not have the privilege games early (despite pressure from possessed and constantly honed. notified their rebbeim of pertinent to see him daven, she replied, “Yeah, the guys to stay), because he wanted When thinking about Elchonon, the issues that he felt the bachurim but I saw him bentsch.” to get to sleep on time and be alert first thing that comes to mind is the would feel uncomfortable disclosing Although Elchonon was very atten- the next day in shiur. way he exemplified the midah of sensi- on their own, but would want their tive to his physical fitness and he During seder, his time was well uti- tivity to others. Although he was clear- rebbeim to know. jogged daily, he did not allow his exer- lized; he scrutinized every point made ly genetically predisposed to being a After a recent ski trip taken by a cise regimen to interfere with the in shiur and the shmuessen until he felt “nice guy,” he achieved levels in the group of beis midrash and mesivta sedorim at yeshiva. His parents noted that he had clarity. A week and a half area of bein adam lachaveiro that were bachurim, a high-school talmid how he had his morning routine—eat- before his petirah, he passed up what only attainable via rigorous study of reported that he was duly impressed ing breakfast, coming home, running would have been his last opportunity mussar concepts and the internaliza- by how Elchonon said “thank you” to on the treadmill, showering, and to hang out with a close friend—he tion thereof. Many people spoke of the lift operator every time up the returning to yeshiva five minutes opted to chazer the shmuess instead of

82 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES going out for chulent with this friend ment to learning Torah was strong family on trips even if his friends were especially proud of his close rapport at 11:30 on Thursday night. enough to warrant his dropping out of doing other activities that he enjoyed with Rabbi Turk, one of the roshei The atmosphere in the beis midrash college in order to learn full-time in more, because he knew that his par- ha’yeshiva and Elchonon’s rebbi for the will never be the same without Elchonon. yeshiva and devote all his efforts ents loved his company. For the afore- past two and a half years. Rabbi Turk Elchonon had the admirable ability toward his eventual goal of becoming a mentioned reason, he also regularly spoke of how Elchonon discussed with to put his ego aside in his quest for marbitz Torah. came home briefly for meals just to say him every important issue in emes. He was not at all reluctant to Although his parents were satisfied “hello” to his parents and two younger Elchonon’s life. After davening on retract his p’shat in whatever he was with his preferred “career choice,” Shabbos mornings, Elchonon could learning when he felt that a friend had they initially had reservations about always be seen asking Rabbi Turk presented a compelling argument to him stopping college, citing concerns questions on topics ranging from shiur the contrary. Furthermore, he happily that he have a feasible backup plan. He would often join his to hashkafah. Although Rabbi Turk accepted and acknowledged that his However, when they saw his convic- would purposely stay in yeshiva a few younger brother, Yitzy, was able to tion—at the levayah, Yitzy quoted him family on trips even if extra minutes while he conversed with learn Gemara on a level comparable to as firmly asserting, “So, I won’t have a Elchonon so as not to impose on his own, and he became Yitzy’s bekius car”—and met with his rebbi, Rabbi his friends were doing Elchonon to walk Rabbi Turk home, chavrusa. Rabbi Sender Strassfeld, the Zvi Turk, their worries were assuaged inevitably Elchonon would happily assistant menahel in Mesivta Tiferes and they acquiesced to Elchonon’s other activities that he escort him the six blocks between Yisroel and Elchonon’s ninth-grade plans. Nevertheless, Elchonon sensed enjoyed more, because yeshiva and Rabbi Turk’s house before rebbi, fondly remembered how that his parents still might not have returning to yeshiva. “[Elchonon] wasn’t looking for recog- been completely comfortable with his he knew that his parents Elchonon would regularly ask Rabbi nition. He didn’t have to be the decision, and therefore assured them Turk questions on shiur and reflect on smartest guy in the class.” In a similar that he would return to college at a loved his company. Rabbi Turk’s responses for hours, thor- vein, Elchonon sometimes divulged to moment’s notice if they were still trou- oughly dissecting the sugya. However, his close friends personal information bled or would change their minds at if before shiur Elchonon would concerning nisyonos with which he was any time in the future. approach Rabbi Turk to relate the presented, when he knew that the During shivah, after hearing all of sisters, Chani and Devori, and inquire product of Elchonon’s extensive friend in whom he confided had expe- the stories about Elchonon’s has- about their daily lives. On erev thoughts, and Rabbi Turk would apol- rienced or was experiencing a similar madah rabbah and powerful hashpa’ah Shabbos, although he would leave his ogize to Elchonon and explain that situation and could be of assistance in on so many of the talmidei ha’yeshiva, house as early as possible to do extra other bachurim in the shiur needed Elchonon’s overcoming the nisayon. his parents said that in retrospect, learning in yeshiva before Minchah, he help understanding more basic con- The extent of his t’shukas ha’emes was they had absolutely nothing about would always wait at home until his cepts, Elchonon, without a hint of incredible and rare, and will undoubt- which to be nervous; Elchonon defi- father arrived from work, so that resentment, would smile and return to edly live on in our memories forever. nitely would have been a stellar marb- Elchonon could say “hello” and wish his seat to resume learning. The noble manner in which itz Torah, and was already well on his his father a good Shabbos. Surely, all Furthermore, Elchonon would often Elchonon handled his secular, post- way to becoming one. those who knew Elchonon took chizuk take as a chavrusah a weaker bachur in high-school schooling was a testament His parents also regaled visitors at from observing his amazing kibud av need of help; in fact, Elchonon was so to his extraordinary commitment to the shivah house with stories that va’eim and thirst for learning Torah concerned with helping others that harbatzas haTorah and kibud av va’eim. demonstrated other ways in which and disseminating it. Rabbi Turk had to regularly urge him After attending Touro College two Elchonon’s kibud av va’eim manifested Throughout his years in yeshiva, to learn with better chavrusas in order nights a week for a few months, itself. When Elchonon had vacation Elchonon cherished the kesharim he Elchonon assessed that his commit- from yeshiva, he would often join his formed with many rebbeim. He was Continued on Page 85

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 83 insisted on the tzuras ha’daf—the exact fortable asking a she’eilah of their rav We Do Not Need Yoatzot Halachah printed format of a page of the Talmud or sending their husbands. Today, and myriad details of the transmission when women are full members of B Y RABBI YAAKOV a form and substance. Most Torah- of Torah from a rebbi to a disciple. every area of commerce and society, FEITMAN true Jews agree that the substance of The relationship between a rav and when they travel the world and are KEHILLAS BAIS YEHUDAH TZVI the Torah is sacrosanct. It may not be those who ask a she’eilah has remained elected to the highest positions in gov- (THE RED SHUL) altered, distorted, or misrepresented. a fundamental component of the ernment, it seems a bit incongruous to When tampered with in any way, “Torah from Sinai” continuum for over belatedly claim discomfort with a man. Last week this wonderful newspaper Orthodox Jews generally agree that three millennia. Each person develops A rav is as much a professional as a published an article lauding the “suc- one is dangerously entering the a bond with his or her poseik. Over the physician or attorney, and conducts cessful new initiative” at a number of precincts of the Reform. years, innumerable often subtle details himself with discretion and considera- synagogues allowing their members to What is not as generally well known contribute to the total picture present- tion. One cannot help but detect an benefit from a “yoetzet halachah,” a is that Torah has a form, as well. The ed to a poseik, especially in this most influence of modern feminism and “female halachic advisor.” This innova- gestalt of Torah is as much part and personal area of life. The interposition societal pressure rather than a true tion was ostensibly established to parcel of Mattan Torah as its sub- of a new “expert” into this equation problem in the comfort level of 21st- “assist any woman who is more com- stance. Gedolei Yisrael through the undercuts the time-honored process century Jewish women. fortable discussing certain personal If you reread the opening sentence issues with another woman rather than of this article quoting the originators with a male rabbinical advisor.” Since of yoatzot, you will note that they refer this was reported without critical com- to a “male rabbinic advisor.” This ment or dissent, I feel that an alterna- Innumerable often subtle details diminishing term reduces a rav to a tive view must be presented to your “male advisor” and a poseik to one who readers. So please consider this article makes successful suggestions. This is a macha’ah—one man’s protest and contribute to the total picture not the role of the poseik, and nothing disagreement with the “rave reviews” can replace him. this project has reportedly received. There is, however, a female player in Now, what could possibly be presented to a poseik. all this, who has surprisingly been left wrong? An educated woman, trained out of the process. This is the rebbet- in a highly specialized and sensitive zin. For many centuries, women who field, listens carefully to another preferred to speak to another woman woman; guides, advises, and eventual- ages were moser nefesh for the form as developed by the Torah ever since approached a truly trusted advisor— ly confers, if necessary, with a rav; much as for the substance. The insti- Dovid haMelech (see Berachos 4b). the rabbi’s wife. She will be familiar and transmits the final decision back tution of a chavrusah, learning at a sht- There is an irony to the “creation” with all the contextual facts mentioned to the questioner. On one level, this ender, the format of a shiur are all (their word) of a yoetzet at this stage of earlier and is in the best position to was a wonderful idea, conceived out time-honored and hallowed. An assault Jewish history. In ancient times, transmit these details to the rav. of concern and compassion. On upon the process has always been treat- women were in fact very private peo- All in all, Jewish tradition has pro- another level, however, I believe this ed as seriously as an attack upon the ple, rarely venturing forth into any vided K’lal Yisrael with a wonderful to be an insidious incursion into our Torah itself. For instance, the Netziv kind of public venue. Many halachos, process for resolving all issues. We time-honored mesorah. closed the great Yeshiva of Volozhin in areas such as tzedakah, inheritance, would do well to take advantage of it. Please allow me to explain. rather than introduce government- and business law took this fact into Nothing is broken and no fixing is The Torah was given to us with both mandated innovations. Torah giants consideration. Yet, women were com- necessary. O

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Elchonon Kramer in ruchniyus. His parents, Sruli and Continued from Page 83 Karen Kramer, instilled in Elchonon important values, such as becoming a to boost Elchonon’s own growth. ba’al derech eretz and eschewing Finally, Rabbi Turk exceedingly overindulgence in materialistic pur- praised Elchonon’s healthy growth as suits, and they created an environment a ben Torah: “Everything was a reflec- in their home that was perfectly suited tion of the Torah that he gained. for the upbringing of an adam Everything was so genuine…it was so ha’shaleim. Interestingly, Elchonon’s real.” Elchonon’s refraining from great-grandparents, Chaim and jumping to levels of avodas Hashem Miriam Braverman, were instrumental for which he was not yet ready was a in raising funds for Yeshivas Chofetz true rarity. Chaim in its formative years, when it Other rebbeim also made laudatory was based in Williamsburg. Perhaps it remarks concerning Elchonon. Rabbi was in their z’chus that Elchonon had Hershel Welcher, Elchonon’s tenth- the opportunity to learn for seventeen grade rebbi, complimented Elchonon’s and a half years at Chofetz Chaim’s midos: “The pervasive ne’imus, the Brooklyn affiliate. finekeit, the eidelkeit, the ameilus A little over three years ago, the baTorah.” In a va’ad at yeshiva, Rabbi yeshiva brought in Rabbi Yerachmiel Shalom Muskat, Elchonon’s eleventh- Milstein as a guest speaker for a grade rebbi, implored the crowd to high-school and beis midrash “remember [Elchonon’s] zeeseh coun- Shabbaton. Among the pieces of sage tenance, his ehrlechkeit, his sweet- advice on how to be happy that Rabbi ness, his hasmadah, his dogged Milstein imparted to the b’nei attempts to work on a shiur.” Rabbi ha’yeshiva was to make a list of things Ben-Zion Krumbein, Elchonon’s for which to be thankful to Hashem Chumash rebbi in ninth and tenth and view it daily. Although most grades, eloquently stated at the shivah bachurim probably did not heed this house, “A good rebbi is conscious that ingenious suggestion, Elchonon, who his bachurim should feel good. It’s already had enormous simchas echad minei elef a bachur that’s trying ha’chayim, made the list, which his to make a rebbi feel good.” When, in father found in Elchonon’s wallet his hesped, Rabbi Yehuda Jacobson, after Elchonon’s passing. It was a typ- the other rosh ha’yeshiva and ical example of how Elchonon was a Elchonon’s twelfth-grade rebbi, wailed, remarkable ba’al aliyah. “Kashe alai p’reidaschem,” he was defi- I did not compile a list after that nitely speaking on behalf of everyone Shabbaton; however, if I were to form in the audience. one today, an entry near the top of my Obviously, Elchonon’s family played list would be “The chance to have an integral role in Elchonon’s growth known Elchonon Kramer.” O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 85 86 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 87 Preparing Nourishment For Body And Soul

Beit Hatavshil is an official non-profit organization which runs huge kitchens with professional and advanced equipment and owns numerous vehicles for the distribution of food. Beit Hatavshil provides food for half a million needy each year, thus saving them from hunger and starvation. Beit Hatavshil fights the feelings of loneliness, neglect, misery, and profound embarrassment that are a constant companion of the needy, and instead provides them with a feeling of genuine concern and warmth.

88 March 6, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES March 6, 2009 89 Try Beating These Guys Zayin Adar At The White Shul Photo By Ivan H. Norman

The Hebrew Academy of Nassau County Varsity Basketball team won the Houston-Yaffee Basketball Tournament 2009. Yeshiva varsity teams from Atlanta, Houston, Ida Crown-Chicago, Yavneh, Kushner and HANC participated. Coached by Elliot Steinmetz and Assistant Coach Richie At the Congregation Kneseth Israel (White Shul) Hochhauser, HANC went undefeated in the tournament. annual Seventh of Adar siyum, Rabbi Eytan Feiner (R) made the siyum and Seth Hochhauser, Michael Hurtes, Daniel Kirshblum, and Benji Ritholtz were introduced the guest speaker, Rabbi Yonasan Sacks (L) of YU. The chairman selected for the tournament All Star game. of the event was Rabbi Eliezer Horowitz.

And [the priestly garments] shall be upon Aharon, and upon his sons, when they come in the Tent of Meeting, or when they come near to the Altar to minister in the holy place, that they bear not iniquity and die (Sh’mos 28:43) There was once a prince whose tutor would enter into the presence of the king on behalf of the prince; but the tutor was afraid of those who stood by the king lest one of them should attack him.What did the king do? He clothed him in his royal purple cloak, so that all who saw him might be afraid of him. Similarly,Aharon used to enter [into the Divine Presence]… and had it not been for the many merits which entered with him and aided him, he would have been unable to go in, on account of the angels that were there. For this reason did G-d provide him garments after the pattern of the Divine garments…. as it says (Yeshayah 59:17):“And [G-d] donned righteousness as a coat of mail, and a helmet of salvation upon His head, and He put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a mantle.”

(Midrash Rabbah)

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