ALIENATED JEWS What About Outreach to Jewish Lesbians?

ALIENATED JEWS What about Outreach to Jewish Lesbians? DANITA MUSHKAT T^he terms "Jewish cominuity" and "out- sociopsychological consequences of ethnic X reach" appear extensively in Jewish com diversity on the "coming out" process for munal policies and debates over the health of lesbians and gays. In their silence, lesbian North American Jewry. However, the mean and Jewish identity theorists alike unwit ings of these terms and their translation into tingly helped reproduce the beliefs that (1) be practice are not clear. In particular, there is ing Jewish and lesbian are incompatible debate concerning (I) what constitutes Jew affiliations and that (2) the processes of Jew ish continuity, (2) are Jewish identities erod ish and lesbian identity formation are mutu ing or transforming, (3) what are effective ally exclusive journeys and thereby not sig outreach strategies, and (4) which "alienated nificant factors in each other's unfolding. Jews" should be given priority in terms of Rendered invisible as Jews within lesbian resources. This article explores the lives of feminist orbits and similarly so as lesbians nine such Toronto-based alienated Jews, docu within mainstream Jewish circles, Jewish menting the unique challenges lesbians face lesbians have found their concerns and needs as Jews. ignored by communal leaders and front line Unofficially welcomed as paying mem workers. Indeed, the alienating effect of bers in Toronto congregations and as Jewish invisibility is a dominant theme not only in philanthropists, Jewish gays and lesbians re this study but also in many ofthe life stories main marginalized, only gaining institutional of Jewish lesbians found in autobiographical acceptance by de-emphasizing their sexual and Jewish therapy works. Although there loyalties. Despite clear strides that have been has been an increase in Jewish lesbian works achieved in removing barriers to Jewish in (see these pivotal texts: Alpert, 1997; Balka volvement, notably in egalitarian liberal syna & Rose, 1989; and Beck, 1989), there re gogues, the position both formal and infor mains a dearth of research on Jewish lesbi mal of the Jewish community in regard to ans. In spite of the stigmatization of lesbian homosexuality is still inconsistent (Morris, ism evidenced in the dominant Jewish com 1987). Further, the acquisition of full reli munity and of Judaism in the dominant les gious rights, such as access to role model bian community, neither has sponsored stud positions in Jewish institutions, continues to ies to investigate this double bind. be a struggle. Stage models continue to dominate at In-depth life history interviews and par tempts to categorize the processes involved in ticipant observation experiences spanning developing a lesbian identity. Such models eight months provide preliminary insight into typically chart a movement that begins with the complex interrelationship of Jewish and feelings of sexual-emotional attraction to other sexual identification processes. This article women, followed by self-definition as a les discusses the implications of these fmdings bian and participation in a lesbian subcul for preventing communal disaffection and ture, often ending with a more integrated promoting Jewish identity maintenance, so identity (e.g., Cass, 1979). However, such cial support, and revitalization. unilinear typologies oversimplify the coming out process of lesbians. Smith (1997, p. 284) BACKGROUND argues for "considering the multidimension- ality and complexity of the coming-out pro Only since the 1980s have researchers and cess." Many of the models fail "to account for practitioners begun examining the 239 Journal of Jewish Communal Service 240 the diversity of lesbian definitions and expe tised in one of Toronto's gay and lesbian riences in the development of a lesbian iden newspapers. Mazal, the co-founder of the tity" (Brown, 1995, p. 19), ignoring how group, was very helpful to me, both as a ethnicity, race, class, age, marital history, pardcipant herself and as a source for other and religious affiliation interact with the possible participants. Snowball sampling, a development of a lesbian identity. For in process whereby estabhshed interviewees pro stance, naming oneself a Jewish lesbian or a vide referrals to potential new participants, lesbian Jew can emerge from differing start and interview opportunities acquired through ing points, evolve, and be expressed in a pardcipating in Jewish lesbian events, pro heterogeneous fashion. duced the other participants in the project. The extant literature that does consider Over the eight months of the study I met the interplay of ethnic and sexual identity socially with Jewish lesbians in cafes, on ice construction relies on small non-random but skating outings, at movies, comedy nights, qualitatively rich investigations not unlike and at the Bisexual, Lesbian and Gay Com this study (see the edited volumes of Garnets munity Center. 1 attended two Hanukkah &Kimmel, 1993; Greene, 1997). Such stud parties, one hosted by Keshet Shalom, the ies of ethnic-specific lesbians highlight the Jewish gay and lesbian synagogue, and the effects of cultural factors, socially defined other held in the home of a "Nice Jewish stereotypes, and expectations on the negotia Girls" member. 1 also attended two meetings tion of sexual and cultural identifications. of the Jewish Anti-Fascist League upon invi Several variables that affect the formation of tation by one of the interviewees. While these a lesbian idendty are the following: (1) the experiences helped situate participants in their importance of family and ethnic community lived realities and aided interpretadon of the relationships, (2) the perceived threat of stig- interview data, the themes presented in this matizadon by one's ethnic reference group, paper are based on the in-depth interviews (3) the degree of ethnic tolerance and accep alone. tance in a lesbian and gay community, (4) the needfor ethnic community support, and (5) the Characteristics of the Study Sample desire for cultural expression. The research Jewish lesbians are a heterogeneous group. suggests that ethnicity indeed matters. The nine women in this study vary in their Jewish upbringing; Jewish geography; age THE STUDY and period of coming out as lesbian; extent of The interviews lasted approximately three lesbian and Jewish idendty disclosure, pride hours and took place in the women's homes, and acceptance in those two identities; and with the exception of one that was conducted definition of their Jewish and lesbian iden over lunch in a popular Jewish deli. None of tity. In assessing how representative these the women objected to the use of a tape nine participants are of the Toronto Jewish recorder, and over 100 hours of interview lesbian community, it is important to note material were collected. The interview sched their particular sociodemographic character ule consisted of a flexible, largely unstruc istics at the dme of the study. Sara and Mazal tured list of open-ended questions exploring live alone in apartments within the high- the participants' lives as Jews who are lesbi density gay and lesbian section of the city. ans and as lesbians who are Jews, including Dana, Ellen, and Shauna reside in the high- the feelings and experiences they have at density Jewish area. Dana shares space with tached to both idendties. In order to ensure a Jewish heterosexual male. Ellen is condo- anonymity, fictive names have been assigned sitting for a cousin, and Shauna owns a quaint to the participants. two-story home. Cheryl and Leah live to I discovered a Jewish lesbian social/dis gether as a family in a multiethnic, princi cussion group, "Nice Jewish Girls," adver pally Greek area ofthe city. Lara lives with SUMMER 1999 Outreach to Jewish Lesbians / 241 her girlfriend in a fashionably designed home Alienation in the trendy student quarter. Eretz lives Although other studies confirm the dis student-style with two roommates in a tress and loneliness of feeling estranged from multiethnic low-income area. one's "actual self (e.g., Moses, 1978), many Ellen, Eretz, Lara, and Mazal are in their do not consider the different sources of self- twenties; Dana and Leah are in their thirties; depreciation and what aspects of one's self and Shauna, Sarah, and Cheryl are in their are being stifled by that estrangement. In this mid-to-late forties. Mazal, Lara, and Dana grew up in a close-knit Winnipeg Jewish study, alienation was expressed in four mo community; Shauna came from a Minnesota dalities: (1) feeling disconnected from one's Jewish community to Toronto as a married lesbian self in Jewish company, (2) feeling woman; Eretz lived much of her life in estranged from one's lesbian self in non- Montreal; andEllen, Leah, Sarah, and Cheryl Jewish contexts, (3) feeling separated from were born and raised in Toronto. All nine one's Jewish self in lesbian circles, and women went to university, and the four women (4) feeling divorced from one's Jewish self in in their twenties are still actively pursuing Jewish settings. The disjuncture between their education. The other five women hold one's self-identification and a superimposed positions in advertising, teaching, social ser identity by others threatens one's identity, vices, and government. confining its expression to restricted spheres (Weinrich, 1988). The form of these four sources of vulnerability and invisibility var FINDINGS: A JEWISH IDENTrTY- ied accordingto one's Jewish upbringing and LESBIAN IDENTITY DIALECTIC time and life stage of coming out as a lesbian. The history of discrimination against Jews, Similar to domestic abuse and alcoholism, bisexuals, gays, and lesbians influences the lesbianism is cast as atypical of Jews (i.e., lives of the Toronto Jewish, Jewish gay and "these were things we were told did not lesbian, and gay and lesbian communities. In happen to Jews"). Seven of the nine women general, the homophobic climate of Toronto experienced a lag in their self-definition as a Jewry in general has been slower to change lesbian and reported accentuated feelings of than it has been in Jewish communities in outsiderness.

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