Issue No 805 17 February 1994
iBare O^acts University of Surrey Students' Union Newspaper National Student Frank Morton Is Dead (At Last!) Survey The Graduate Facts!
recent survey of students, Graduate AFacts, organised by The Guardian and Gallup, interviewed over 2,000 final year students nationally in November last |year. Six pages of results show some of ^hat today's students believe to be the important factors in their lives.
Sex and Social Issues: • 65% of students disagree with the gov- ernment; they believe that single moth- ers should receive more, not less, support from the state. • 27% think that casual sex is accept- ast Monday saw the culmination of over four months of me- able. The figure varies between the sexes, 20% of women, compared to ^ticulous planning: Frank Morton 1994, the annual Chemical 35% of men. Engineering event happened here at the University of Surrey.
Despite the problems caused by the weather (i.e. the SNOW!!), a good deal of University Education: improvising resulted in a great day for the 25 universities who took part. • 47% think universities should abolish conditional oiTers and select students The winner of the Frank Morton Trophy was Loughborough University, while on theiractual A-level results. Cambridge won The I Chem E Shield for the second year running. • 23% think that enough people are re- ceiving degree level education and ihat The real interest for Surrey Students was the evening's activities. The ice rink at the I expansion on universities should stop. Spectrum was totally iransforaied by Stage Crew, who built their biggest and loudest rig yet!
Job Prospects: The evening kicked off with the winners of the band competition, which look place • Average expected starling salary was earlier on in the day. "Noah's Great Powerboat" from Exeter Uni proved to be around £13,000. extfemely popular, and gave two encores, much to the delight of the audience. After the presentation of the prizes, the main feature. Redwood, took the stage. A Class Act was the overall verdict. This was follwed by a disco until one am with Paul Chapman David Triesman, General Secretary of and Andre Baldeo on the decks. the Association of University Teachers commented: "the evidence shows seri- ous-minded and socially responsible The interest in this event (for me anyway I) was that there were so many people brought people... they care about the major social together with a common link between them, and this was shown by the warm issues of the day." atmosphere that was there, despite the obvious rivalries between some universities.
Peter Beardsley, the University's Aca- So now my job is done, what am I going to do In my spare time?, What will occupy demic SeaeumV commented that abol- my every conscious thought? How can I survive without Frank Morton?????????? ishing conditional offers would make for a more ordered applications process, cut- Finally, we at the Chem. Eng. Department would like to thank the Union, Stage Crew, ting out the "rather unmanageable" clear- all the Sports Clubs, and everyone who gave their time and effort to make Frank ing system. Morton as great a success as it was. Love Ya!
continued on page 3 Simon Rutstein Established 1968 Tfel: (0483) 259275 Fax: (0483) 34749 In thìs week... Dear Editor
Sabs' bits 4-5 We are wriling conceming the Sports Clubs & Societies 6 Day of the International Week when we Music Mania 8-9 overseas students are supposed lo play Culture Shock lO-ll several team sports while improving our The Video Box 12 friendship. It is a great event although At The Movles 13 some people in the university don't Job Spot & Careers 14 agree. Rag-Time 15 Three weeks ago, we went to the Sports Personals 16 Hall and asked if we, as Turkish Society, AGMs & Notices 17 could join any soccer toumament. One Sports 18-20 The views expressed on this page are of the attendants told us that we were late. personal views and do not iiecessariiy The other one said "During the Interna- represeiit those oftiie editorial board tional Week". Okay, we were late, but From the Editor... or tlie Students* Union. we could play on the Sports Day of Inter- national Week. A very shivery and sniffly hello this The Editor reserves the rigiit to edit Last week, we found the programme of the Sports Day in our pigeon hole. For week, as it's absolutely freezing and V ve ali letters. got a cold. the basketball and volleyball, only the (Pause for syinpalhy!) Dear Editor winning societies would go inlo the nexl round. For the soccer, tìiere were 4 groups with 3 or 4 leams, and every team I noiiced something disgusling in the PC Well done to ihe Frank Morton commit- would play against each of the other^^ labs in the Mullens Building yesterday. lee for a well-organised spons day, de- leams in ils group. And we were sup-flB We ali know about the ban on people spite the weather, and well done lo Crew posedtoplaylOminutesofbasketball, 5 playing games in ihere, but what about for such a good gig al Spectrum. Next minutes of soccer and 10 points of vol- the bloke looking at computer pom in the stop Wembley... leyball. The lime was short but we could corner of the lab where no-one could see have fun al least. But on ihe sports day, him? I know it's thaï time of year when you someone had decided to change the rules really can't be bothered, but clubs and and the programme. We really would societies columns are a bit thin on the Name Withheld like to know - who did this? The people ground at the moment. You must be ihat we have spoken with have ali denied doing something worth wriling about, 1 I will pass a copy of this letter on to the responsibilily; they were just "helping". know you're ail still out there! Computing Unit in the hope that they can Apparently, the lime was very limiti, do something aboui this - Editor. so someone had changed the 10 points For those of you who didn't go to the rule in volleyball to a 5 minute lime pe- International Exhibition on Tuesday eve- Dear Editor riod. Although the rule was changed ning missed a treat. Some of the stalls without asking us (and the other societies were amazing and it was obvious people probably), it was done at the beginning, With respect lo the article last week con- had put in an awful lot of effort. AU the so the game was stili fair. ceming the attack on campus which in- différent foods available on some of the We wished it was the same for the soccer. volved one of my colieagues. I feel that sialls were gorgeous. Well done to eve- We played only one game against the Mr Tony Wailing's comments on the at- rybody who look part Hellenic Society, itwasaO-Odraw. and tack were very insensitive, especially then waited to be calied for our second because he obviously had noi seen the game, untll we saw die Singaporean So- Finally, Alpay Seferoglu, the Overseas stale of the victims who happened lo be ciety (the odier team in our group) play-^^ Secretary who has put in so much time to dose associates. With ali due respect if ing in the semi-finals. We were told that^^ organise International Week, is in hospi- students are not safe on campus, securiiy we were disqualified because we had 1 tal. We all wish you a speedy recovery. should devote more lime to patrolling, point in I game. Again someone had (especially at night) therefore looking af- changed the rules because of the limited Take care & keep reading ter Student welfare, rather than carrying lime, but without any responsibilily and out their normal activities such as clamp- without asking US. When wechecked the ing cars. list we saw that the Hong Kong Society had another chance although they lost Graduate Facts One altenwtive is for students like myself their first game. Similarly, the Hellenic (a kickboxing instructor) and my pupils Society had another chance against the continued from page 1 to take an active rôle in providing safety Singaporean Society, and we were oui for fellow students on aunpus and to take just because we had a draw in one game. However, this means that the academic it imo our own hands, by making regulär We couldn't fmd the person who look year could noi start until January. He pau-ols around campus at night. Obvi- responsibilily forchanging the rules. was noi surprised that ihere is growing ously, this is not the answer and We believe tÌiat ali of the overseas as well frustralion wiih the current system. Mr shouldn't be my responsibilily, but it as the Turkish students deserve a public Beardsley disagreed with stopping ex- must be noted that the only deierrent to apology from the person who changed pansion, saying that he didn't "know these ihugs is to increase ihe visual pres- the niles and the programme without any whai proportion should receive a univer- ence of security staff or io give ihem a responsibilily. After ali, we accept that sity education bui more and more people taste of their own medicine! winning is noi the main aim on the Inter- can and do benefit Tìie system should national Week Sports Day, bui we and will expand to lake them bui iishould wished we could have played some soc- It must also be mentioned ihat it was cer instead of being played with. be properly resourced lo guaraniee ihat almost half an hour alter the incident the quality of education is maintained at before a member of the security staff an acceptable level." arrìved al the scene. Turkish Society Titti Hunt A Concerned Student External Affairs The Word From The Asylum
(or... There's another world remember the kaleidoscopic fugue of sex, drugs, fun and depravity that was NUS Iconference; a biannual week of sordid and soporific fantasy at Blackpool's Winter out there somewhere...) Gardens, all run on tick or the seemingly endless generosity of Further Education's non-sabbatical expense accounts. nce upon a Tim, (who was the Ex- Oternal Affairs Officer), well, he was I remember the days when student politics meant electing a dalek over a Tory (Adam elected, along with 4 other sorry persons, Gilchrist was that dalek) and launching manifestos drunkenly to a drunken audience, to go to NIJS Conference, to tell it like it promising beer subsidised to a penny a pint and the removal of conference to the south is. (Well, someone's gotto...???) At this of France. Ah, those were heady days. wonderful Bastion of Studentness, we delegatlettes have to vote on lots of fun things, such as who we think would be We used to tum our backs on prolifers; support every gay, lesbian, feminist or good for National Union President and 'ethnically conscious' cause that the nepotists al the helm dictated (we were all other Officers on the National Executive. aspiring John Lennons) and fight fiercely for civil rights anywhere in the world rather We have, as you will know if you were at than face the dearth of these rights right here in li'l ol' England. the GM the other week, submitted a mo- tion about VAT on domestic fuel, which But all that's changed now, or so I'm led to believe - things have gotten a bit loo serious we think is mightily unfair (VAT, not for all those fun and games, a bit loo serious ftill stop if you ask me (and who was?). submitting the motion!). The next step is Now our beloved leaders 'represent our views to the national movement' (since to receive all the motions that all the when?). The caucuses are all on 'real' and presumably important issues, the bar no Constituent Members (College Student longer resonates with tho.se post politics militant songs (shame!) and the red flag hangs i Unions) have submitted, and then vote on limply from the flagpole - the hanged man. 'which we think are the six most impor- tant ones. When I get that list, I'll let you Never again will the likes of Derek Hatton feel the wannth of ihe student embrace and all know, so you caii come and help us dear old Ken is just an embarrassment. This year's NOLS (National Organisation of choose. Labour Students) representative is next year's Liberal Democrat or even (heaven forbid) Conservative. Still, that's nothing new - pry into ihe background of your local MP and you'll find more than an inclination towards auto erotic fatality, he (she?) was Then, it's off to Conference we go. How- probably once a member of the R.C.P.. Weren't we all? ever, we still have 2 places to fill. Some lucky people get to go as Observers, so they can tell Conference what they think. Student politicks are dead, long live student politics! I wonder... They can also vole on behalf of any dele- gates who can't make it back from the Mike Read beach in lime to get to one of ihe meetings (and they don't necessarily only vote on behalf of people from Surrey!). Easter Vacation Room Booking
If you think you could go on a friend- ^ I "^ERMLY students who wish to apply for accommodation over the Easter Vacation making, meeting-filled, action-packed X should come to the Accommodation Office to book before Friday 4 March 1994. week, from 11th - 15th April, (4ih week of the Easter hols) ihen let me know Students living in termly areas will, in most cases, be allocated a different room for before 25th Feb, and then you can be the vacation. Standard rooms only will be used. elected at a fun GM (you DO know what one of those IS don' i you?) on Si. David's Any student wishing to slay beyond the end of term (noon Saturday 19 March) or Day (1 st March to those of you who don't return early (before Saturday 23 April) must make an application as above. know - and remember to bring your leeks and daffodils...). Even if (God forbid) the GM is inquorate, we'll still take an Charges: The cost of accommodation will be £33.80 per week or £7.50 per night for indicative vote because we need to send odd nights (5 weeks vacation = £169). Application for residence must beaccompaiiied off the registration form. by full payment. llí.ili.liíiijií^t'f And, if you can't go, don't want to go, or don't get elected, but you have a particu- HB-»—-i"-^—-li — lar opinion you wish to share with All 14- -1«' Students Everywhere (TM) then let one í.!- 'J"-!--!?!, tj,ir'J i:®,-^!- '-S'i II of the delegates or observers know, and Infonnation ¿lid we'll do our very bestest to represent it. Helpline Service " TW^ÍSS^Sf ^ Tir =••:»-? ^ •••tti! • • •" • " 'iiiiíH •tH!it-3w!¡.-,[tM-i''l'l!!'"i-'í|s3-4|©1ÍÍ»i f l^'illtilg^H 5¡i¡»í If any of you should know aboutanything «i '.'¡laiixi iig'-iiai •• jif i - ¡ijj[« WT that's hf^ipening outside this University that you think affects us, then please let me know. I have a pigeon hole in the Union which I check regularly so put it —=- _ « —, » if^f' there (man). opm - oflm «•l'-Ha^-üSf^üS!-»!«! > Wi' Tim Hunt m (0483) 32710 lü^^Sñ^iSasaaSevinisv External Affairs Officer Internal Ext: 4949 Hi^U b, »1:11 • r^'ii-i-iniH'"-*);- -ipp *- sr-fl" VP's bit Ents with an Attitude!
Women's Conference k, here comes another week of amazing written rubbish, Othere does not seem to be a lot to write about this week, The NUS women's conference is to take place on 14ih to 16ih but I'm sure that I wilt manage to get enough words to make an March (week 10). Conference will be discussing motions on: article. 1. Women and Kucation 2. Women and Work Cheers to anyone who enjoyed themselves on Sunday with 3. Women and Health King Masco, I thought they were quite simply brill! A few In addition, NUS Women's Officer will be elected. weeks ago someone wrote a letter conceming the Ned's gig, If you are a women and are interested in attending this confer- sorry I can't remember who, but the query was why did Ned's ence, please come and see me. We can send 1 delegate and 1 Atomic Dustbin play at Surrey? The gig itself was a complete observer. and utter 'Fluke', they were the ones to approach me, beíáuse they wanted to play their new album in front of an audience Mature Students' Conference who were not traditional Ned's fans, therefwe they chose Brighton on the Saturday and us on the Sunday, the show was extremely cheap for Ents and designed for the students to have The NUS Mature Students' Conference is to be held in Bir- a good night out with a band that is well known. I hope that mingham on 26th February. If you are a mature student inter- you enjoyed the show and maybe you might go and buy the ested in issues affecting mature students and want to attend, album. This sort of gig is extremely rare and if it does repeat please come and see me. We can send two delegates. itself during my term of office, I will be extremely hf^^py. Cycle Paths Next subject of conversation is the ever present CHARM. This. will be arriving on Friday 25th, with two rooms of music. Thef Appearing all over campus this week will be pedtions asking night will be going from 9pm till 4am, with the bar shutting at Guildford Borough Council and Surrey County Council to 2am. Tickets are on sale every lunchtime from the union foyer. improve conditions for the growing number of cyclists in and around Guildford, to include the provision of a network of cycle paths. Please sign the petition, to be displayed in all KUBs and Two more things before I forget next Wednesday in the lower the Union and l^ture Theau^s next week. We have sent copies bar are two indie/rock bands, both hody tipped for the top in of the petition to all the local schools, cycle shops and other NME and Melody Maker this January. The support are Baby interested bodies in the hope of getting more local support. We Chaos who have been supporting Elastica. Headlining are the hope to present the petidon to the Mayor after Easter. Wishplants, currently on a national tour, backing their new album on China records. Rumour has it from London that one of the music papers will be appearing to review the gig, doors Jumble Jumble Everywhere! are at 8pm. The greatest sale on earth is about to return. I will be selling off Next Thursday in the lower bar sees Dub Reggae appear in the all the lost property, found from July to December last year, at form of 'Dub Pressure' which will be going on till lam. Big the Green Fayre on Wednesday 11-4. If you lost something Nige makes his debut appearance on the decks and Chris carries during that time, please come and see me before then to claim on where he has previously left off. Space is doing the sound, it otherwise you will have to buy it back! All proceeds from and Patrick is MC'ing. For the price of a squid, you will get a the sale will go to the Union Ha-dship Fund and all remaining night of sweet music and good recoixls, hopefully I'll see you items will be donated to charity. there. Stress Management Courses for Students Ok that's about all the crap I can think about writing this week, again I apologise for the piss poor English. ( A workshop on Positive Approaches to Coping with Stress is being organised jointly by Sarah Parsons and Helen Veasey. Still playing the wicked top brass! It will take place in Committee Room X (Senate House) from 5 til 7pm on Tuesday 15th March (Week 10). If you are interested in attending this workshop, to be run by Helen Steve Veasey & Kunu Gordon, please fill in the fonn below and return it to either: Sarah Parsons, Vice President Students' Union or Helen Veasey, Student Counselling Service, Health Centre. Don't forget to
The number of participants is limited to 12, if we ainnot offer you a place on this workshop, we will send you details of similar events. RECYCLE ¡1 am interested in attending the Stress] •Workshop on 15 March 1994. i (Bore if acts I I ¡Name \ Paper bins in the ¡Contact Address. Union and aU court receptions. -X- Dave's Bit
Club Committee
have been asked to try to Iexplain the workings of the Club Committee within these pages. There is a feeling that the Club operates behind closed doors and that you have to walk round with one trouser leg rolled up giving funny handshakes to ^ allowed in. This is not the case and I hope to try and dispel this image.
The bar and catering outlets of the Students' Union are run as a private members club. As such, our licence to sell alcohol is a club licence. This sort of licence is used with very good treason. We have 5500 full members of the club, 3000 life members of the club and 2500 staff members. The building can only hold 1200 of those people at any one time. Only club members are allowed ac- What a way to unwind! cess to the bar facilities, so if you get to the front doors and find that you can't get in be- You've worked hard all week. a month and a two week camp, you will also qualify for and cause the fire limit has been You've been looking forward to a weekend of well earned annual tax free bonus of up to £77S. reached you can sit at home rest If you want to find out more and you're aged 177» • 32 happy in the knowledge that it So why should you consider anything more strenuous than (male or female) contaa us on the number given, Monday to is other students that have kept putting your feet up^ Friday 9am • 4pm or Thursday evening 7.30 - 9.30pm- you out of the building rather The simple answer Is because you'll feel better for rt Why not be more ready than ever to do batde with the than townies! It's a minor Believe it or not the best antidote to stress and strain is week ahead! point and maybe not much a bit more stress and strain. comfort when you can't get in, As long as what you do excites and challenges you but this is meant to be a student in some way, it can provide the perfect contrast to facility and so we don't want your working week. And excitement and challenge student space being taken up is precisely what's on offer in the Territorial Army. with non-students. Jan the TA as a soldier or a potential officer and A legal requirement of the club your we^ends will never be quite ihc same. I licence is that a committee ex- The TA now represents over a third of the Y*^ Tiwcitjt TA. eo/me ists, elected by the club mem- manpower of the British Army and are expected to serve ^AMSrMM bers, which runs the business alongside their regular counterparts in times of crisis and of the Club. So we have the are paid the same rates as regular soldiers for the time they A (Anzio) Company, 5 PWRR. Tangier TJ^. Club Committee. On this com- put in. Centre, Sandfield Terrace, Guildford, Surrey GUI 4LN.Tei: (0483)61441 mittee we have : If you complete at least one evening a week, one weekend 5th BATTALION THE PRINCESS OF WALES'S ROYAL REGIMENT Club Chairman Club treasurer
t the moment, the Finance Officer of the Union is elected e chairs the meetings (oddly enough) and is one of the three Aas the Club Treasurer. She is elected for a five year tenn Hpeople who constitute the senior club management. This and has similar responsibilities to the Chainnan and secretary, senior management are empowered to make decisions concern- but with the emphasis on finance. ing the day-to-day running of the club. Any major policy decisions need to be taken to the full committee. There are then another six members of the committee who are elected by either the AGM or the existing committee as and when required. These members are all students who wish to Club Secretary take an active part in the decision making process.
t the moment, this is the General Manager. He is elected Part 2 next week. TTFN Ato serve for a five year period and is the licence holder for the club. Arguments have been made that the Chainnan should Dave' Union President hold the licence. In practice, however, it makes more sense to have a pennanent member of staff as licensee. The Chmnnan changes annually and continuity makes more sense. Phat Vibes Club
massive thankyou to everyone who carne down to the ALower Bar last Thursday. Sorry to everyone who couldn't TAO get in. We fmally pul on the type of night we have been trying to do -1 hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. If we can, we will bring back K.J, our guest DJ, next term. Weare trying to SS organise another event before this term ends, so look out for posters.
We are pleased to announce Our trip to the Wag Club is going ahead. See me or leave a note in our lJnion pigeon hole for details. I baven't got anything else a repeaf opporfunity for you to say this week, apart from watch out for some good record to claim o.... releases over the next couple of months. Top of your shopping list should be the new "Mother Earth" album which comes out on Monday.
TAG T-Shìrt Remember, if you've got any good ideas about the club, then come along to our meetings - 6.15pm, Main Union every Monday. We need a few more keen individuáis to get involved Simply collect 5 TAG bottle tops because a few of us, including myself, will not te here next term. hand them in af the bar & we will exctìange fhem for a TAG T-shirt Colin - Phai Vihes Club (formerly Jazz & Blues) ' P.S. The name change is now officiai! TAG No Wave And Rock Club ust a short note this week. As you probably read last week, JNo Wave and Rock Club teamed up so that we could bring oniy a boUl« you the excellent WISHPLANTS to the Lower Bar. This four-piece from Northampton are signed to the same record label as The Levellers and are just around the corner from making it big time. Their sound is not exactly ground shakingly origini, but the traditional indie/rock sound that they have is one of the best. Any ordinary society would be satisfied to hand you the WISHPLANTS for £1.50 and be done with it, but the YoumsmÑmmp Rock Club/No Wave alliance is not what you'd cali ordinary. What am I blabbering on about? Not only have we managed to grab WISHPLANTS, but also the fabulous BABY CHAOS as support band (if you read the music press, you will know that BABY CHAOS are currently on tour with Elastica, so they're pretty good). The price for ali this wondrous entertainment, a bargain £1^0. If you miss this one you're stupid. Tickets should be on sale in the Union Foyer by the time you read this, so get yourself down there, NOW. See you soon, TOO DAR! HOT Andy The Monkey Talks!
ow time can fly by when you are having funi Here we are Hjust over six months down the slippery slope in the life of me the new Nat West on Campus. Well, what has happened in that short time? Both myself and the staff have received wide ranging comments. This has varied from the unprintable coHfÑc; Üirough to bags of praise since the personal counter service was restored. Even more good news - there is now a change machine in the Branch. Now that previous difficulties are behind us, we wish to 10 WS UÑIOÑ! continue our efforts to improve our service to you. It is essen- tial, therefore, that you let us know your problems. I can assure you that die message from us in delivering our service is that we want to "get it right first time". So why not help us to help you! TTiere are well-trained staff in the Branch anxious to utilise their talents, and with over 250 different services diere is plenty of scope. IIEEK9 Why not make life easier and cali in to see us? Colin Nichok, Branch Manager Qo'^m^ to- Ute>
General niccling
an
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fiÁ - tUe^ JudA ¿i 0>pje4^l 8
with Simon Francis
'jphis week Chris has decided to take a short holiday, so I'm doing it this week. Let's get started with the single of the week: PWEI & FUND-A-MENTAL - 2 who were responsible for 'Say What!' a couple of months back. Their own ver- Ausländer sions are quite funky. They're playing live in a venue near you and I suggest you Pop Will Eat Itself are back. This record try to see them. has a lot of energy and has been recorded with Asian rap artists Fund-a-mental. 8/10 The Poppies are playing in Guildford next month, and I most certainly hope üiat they perform this with their other BJÖRK - half. It's the band aimost back on form, Violently Happy * but the experimentation is also there. Since joining Infectious Records they BONE- seem to have added a new dimension to Another track from her brilliant album Wings of Love/So in Love their work, resulting in a refreshing out- 'Debut', this has been given a rehash by look on their personality. Not as close to various hot producers including Fluke, my heart as old standards like 'Def Con who play here in March for free! My fave Tliis new signing to Deconstniction had One', but this is good. from the album and this will probably be their first single actually promoed before the biggest track from it so far. Christmas and it now forms a double A 7/10 side. 'Wings of Love' features Sam Mol- 8/10 lison, currenUy the vocalist on Sasha's single 'Higher Ground' in the chart this INTASTELLA - week. The better of the two, though, is the DIG- Point Hope new track 'So in Love* featuring the vo- Believe cals of a lady called Pamela Anderson. Dance music with passion, and they're Intastella have had better days. This song Lovely, noisy, layered guitar. Different songs too! goes nowhere and does nothing for me. vocal sound. It fits in with the likes of It's trying to be all things and succeeding Mint 400 and Stone Temple Pilots, but 9/10 in none of them. Even the remixes by Tim they have a litde bit of individuality. I Laws, whose most recent work has in- can't see diis crossing over to be main- cluded Gabrielle and Network, does not stream but I hope Dig have a long future. JULIET ROBERTS - really do a great deal for it. This song will I Want You protably fade away very quickly. 7/iö' Almost as good as the last two singles, 5/10 and with an iübum due soon this could be ZU- a big year for Juliet She has had two Top The Apart EP 40 singles already and this is going down BLUR- a storm in the clubs. Happy uplifting Boys and Girls song, lovely rhythms, chartbound cer- Zu are formed from the remnants of Tabitha Zu, quite a well known band on tainly! A little different to üieir older stuff and the indie & alternative scene from a few certainly not up to the standards of years ago, and this is the fwst release to mo 'There's No Other Way', but this is good date as far as I can tell. A lot of influences enough to carry on from where they left here but this release is a litde lacking in off last year. Not my cup of tea really, but something to really latch on to. I would DOMINO - will appeal to all those who liked be interested in hearing some other stuff, Getto Jam 'Chemical Worid' etc. though.
I don't quite know whether to call this a 6/10 5/10 rap record or not, but either way it's very good. Live instruments as opposed to sampled breaks, an almost sung vocal. FREAKPOWER - This has been picked up for release in this Rush country by Sony and will do well. The If you would like to review jazzy laid back feel of the bass Ii ne makes Norman Cook, of Housemartins and new releases before they it good for radio and this song definitely Beats International fame, has a new band. are available in the shops works on the dancefloors. Freakpower's follow up to 'Turn On, Tune In and Cop Out'is another dancey pop in to the BF office any mo workout with remixes courtesy of Xpress time Saturday 19th Feb 2.10 pm
United Sound System LIVE coverage from
of X Ireland
'ick and Mark, aka United Sound System, met in late 1992. ights of N At this time, Nick was about to emigrate to Norway and Mark had just landed ajob with Beat Factory studios as amixer. The two found they had a lot in common and pretty much abandoned their respective life plans to pursue their new career. Wales .V. France
They moved into a squat and borrowed, begged and blagged the wedge to get their first efforts pressed. 500 copies of the single "Tanü^ce" were released and given excellent reviews Main Union Lounge by the likes of NME, Echoes, DJ and it was given a place in Melody Maker's Stone Free chart. Internal records, a subsidiary Bar 12 noon to 5 pm label for London records and home to the likes of Cappella and Zero b, signed them up soon after. Since then they' ve played at last year's Pheonix Festival in the Whirl-y-Gig big top and at Trade at Tummills in London. Their second single "Baptism" University of Surrey was released in November and had a lovely trancey feel to it. The live experience really should be seen, and if it's anything Symphony Orchestra & Choir like the recorded work, they'll go down a storm. See them this Sunday. /il Saturday 26 February 1994,7.30 pm Guildford eathedràl by kind permi^wrt ifVte Dean ¿f; CMnpter . " 25th Feb
es! We thought the the last one was pretty good, so on 25th Bach YFeb (Friday week 7) another chiuining night of sounds and Magnificat sights will begni at 9pm in the union. The upper bar will be rearranged as before with a tip-top sound system, dancing on stage. Crew's extraterresu-ial lighting, ajid the more unsightly Brahms parts of the Union (including that puerile mural) will be adonied with mind-tickling drapes from Bannerama. Sounds for the Tragic Qvefture night will be hand-picked by The Hutchinson Brothers, the familiar Quimi, and Darius from Sugarlump. Bop 'til ya drop! Stravinsky : For those who'd prefer to sit down and take it easy, I'd recom- mend the Lower Bar. It will be bedecked from above with a Symphony of Psalms silken parachute, and round the edges with the magical astral projections of Shiva Photonics. DJs Dr D, Jasper the Satellite, and Dr Alex Patterson will supply sonic textures to promote Conductors neural activity of an advanced and uplifting nature. All this and Sebastian Forbes, Owen Rees, Nidiolas Conran more 'til 4. That's about it other than to thank all those involved (you know who you are), but especially James Tyrell for his fabulous Admission by pnogranime £6 (concessions £4) posters which so many of you have nicked! available from the Music Department (0483 259317), the Information Office, Senate House and at the door. Over and out, .SVeve W. This concert is presented by flu: DepartmaU cf Music 10
íxlhxtB ^^ Itütk
"A Tribute To The Blues Brothers tt '' I "'his performance is a celebration of the one drawback to this otherwise inunensely X sound and style of the two fonnidable enjoyable show was the poor acoustics. If characters Jake and Elwood, those notorious you don't arrive with a full knowledge of the men in shades and pork pie hats created by lyrics it is unlikely that you will leave any üie Dan Ackroyd and John Belushi on the wiser! American TV show "Saturday Night Live" and the subsequent movie "The Blues Broth- However, this did not prevent everyone, old ers". and young, professional fans and novices, from being swept away by the sheer energy Its return to Woking marks the beginning of and vital ity of this two-hour tribute. Tlie a UK tour for the show, recently renamed as highlightof the first half would undoubtedly "The Officiai Tribute To The Blues Broth- have to be an extremely amusing version of ers" by request of Dan Ackroyd and Judi Rolf Harris' "Two Little Boys" which was Belushi, wife of the late John Belushi. executed in the inimitable style of Jake and Elwood. Although the first half was enjoy- able, it was the latter hour that really en- The show is, quite simply, dynamic. Elwood thralled the audience. The hit songs were belted out in a con- and Jake, played respectively by Simon John Poster and Giles tinuous display of changing tempo, rhythm and mood. Particu- New, for whom this incidentally marks a debut professional larly spectacular were the renditions of the fainous "Minnie the role, display boundless energy - their well choreographed and Moocher" by Paul Murphy, a backing vocalist, and the soulful amusing routines are faultless and their perfonnances polished. "Under the Boardwalk" performed by the whole cast. By the The Uibute combines a party atmosphere with a slick stage end of the evening the party was in full swing - people singing, show, particularly due to Patrick Woodroffe, the Lighting Di- cheering and dancing ali around the auditorium, and generally rector, who has worked with some of the top names in pop relishing the vitality of the performers. The very tangible re- (Simply Red, The Rolling Stones, Tina Tumer, Pet Shop Boys) sponse of the audience suggests that it is unlikely that the soul and who demónstrales his skills to dramatic effect, bringing the magic associated with Jake and Elwood will be easUy forgotten show up to par with any Wembley concert - a good way to banish your own blues by enjoying theirs.
For any true fan of this dynamic duo the show would have to be an opportunity not to be missed. A high level of audience The tribute nms form the 15th - 19th February at Woking participation is actively encouraged (to the dismay of certain Peacocks Centre. ushers) and the majority of people appeared to know practically ali the words lo every song. TTim may be just as well, for the Heùii Izzard TRYSTS & TRISTESSE hat a term it is for the Arts al Rebecca Jones as Phoebe (who the deuce els with Bryony Fisher's Elsie, "I have a WSurrey! Last week it was the tuni may she be?) clearly enjoyed her rôle as song to sing, C)", its final reprise under- of the University Gilbert & Sullivan So- the sex-starved country lass. Her scenes pinned with dark tristesse. The most re- ciety to put on its eageriy-awaited annual with the slow-witled gaoler, Wilfred freshing member of the cast. Bryony song-and-dance-fest. This i.s the fu^st Shadbolt (an excellent comic création brought a great deal of infectious zest to lime that "Tìie Yeomen of the Guard" has from Chris Hatt, who has a fine singing her part. She has a beautiful, clear voice been presented at Surrey, bui the society voice to boot) were particularly charm- which penetrated the Hall's appalling pulled it off with their usuai aplomb. ing. Paul Bambroush in the romantic lead acoustics and wanned the cockles of our The orchesira's launch imo the overture was excellent throughoul. Paul has held hearts. Her acting, too, was excellent; she delightfully set the scene for an entertain- the David Hadrell Cup for most promis- had just the right amount of cheekiness ing evening. Their excellent performance ing male singer under 20 for four con- coupled with trammelled colt-like sexual is a tribute to the skills of Mark Candy, secutive years, and il certainly showed. energy that the characterisation requires. the MD, and the instnimenialisis them- Jeremy Sadler certainly brought life to Bravo! selves. Point, the tragic jester. Never stili for a moment, this all-singing, ali-dancing, The curtain raised on a slightly shaky Once again, G&S has done us proud. I for all-juggling master of motley jibed and first quarter, problems with projection in one have been singing the tunes all week! joked and quipped and cranked his way particular meaning that some of Gilbert's We should thank Director Alistair Parry, through the show, clearly delighting the sparklingly witty libretto was sadly lost. a society stalwart, for entertaining us so audience at every tum. Those who are Once the cast had warmed up, however, splendidly with his Surrey swansong, familiar with the story will know that il things got moving. The finale to Ad 1 and wish him well for his pastures new. was especially dazzling, the all-impor- is noi ali comic relief; Jeremy's depiction tant chorus filling the stage with sound of the despair of ultimate rejection was a Andy WUcock and movemenl despite their reduced portrayal of pure poigniuit pathos which number. ceriainly brought a lump to the throat of this reviewer. Also moving were his du- i everyone, Weicome to Green Week *94! Our aim in putting on this week is to promote awareness Hand to provide information. As the Greenpeace society is the only environmental Society on campus we have a big job to spread environmental awareness so this week, in particular through the Bare Facts pullout and the Fayre in the union on Wednesday we are trying to put across our messages. The Greenpeace society, being affiliated to the national Greenpeace group helps with some of the national campaigns such as: THORP - which is a new nuclear reprocessing plant, Greenpeace has just been in die High court trying to gain a public inquiry in the opening of the plant for plutonium testing; or the Boycott Norway campaign trying to stop the Norwegians whaling, which they are doing in deflance of the International Whaling Commission. We have also recendy done an Action sponsored swîm, which was very successful. As well as the national campaigns we are interested in what other green groups get up to and have been actively involved in helping in the battle against the Mil link in East London. There is a national conférence for the Green Student Network in Manchester which we are going to. Then on campus we are trying to get the recycling scheme (set up last year) going across campus and our other big aim is to get the union and then the university to have an environmental policy as there is none at the moment! So if you are at ail curious about what we do and why we do it, come along to the events we are putting on and find out more.
Catherine
Monday 21 st: Lower Bar Quiz 8pm, 50p Tuesday 22nd Green GM: Motion on Union Environmental pollcy, 1 pm Union lounge Wednesday 23rd GREEN FAYRE 10am-4pm Union Lounge Thursday 24th Greenpeace in association with OFU presents: Tlie Jungle Book, LTG 7.30pm £1.50 Saturday 26th Green Disco 8pnn-2am in the Union £1.00 REPROCESSING NUCLEAR WASTE t first glance, Nuclear Power seems to hold all the answers to our future energy problems - the Atíníest quantíty of nuclear fuel can release as much energy as vast amounts of coal and, unlike fossil fuels, it doesn't release any gaseous pollutants into the atmosphère.
Why then is Greenpeace against it? From a purely economie viewpoint, nuclear power has never waste should be stored where it is produced, to prevent unnec- been variable - its prices are kept artiñcially low, and current essary transport of these dangerôus substances. prices do not account for future costs of dealing wiüi todays radioactive waste. The govemmeni fOTœs regional electrícity Currently the Government are tesUng THORP at Sellafield on boards to buy 20% of tbeir electrícity from non-fossil fuel Uranium reprocessing. Soon it plans to start plutonium i^proc- sources, whicíi mainly means nuclear power. This adds £17 a essing. Reprocessing may sound fine • almost like recycling. year to the bill of every consumer in üiis country. It's a way of extracting pure nuclear fuel from spent fuel rods. The problem is that eveiy stage of reprocessing produces more Our greatest concern though is of safety. radioactive - present reprocessing produces Chemobyl showed us how dangerous poorly 160 times as much volume of waste as cornes maint^ed equipment can be. Here in Brit- in. Also, the present reprocessing facilities ain, NuclearElectrícwanttorunearly Brítish at Sellafield produces discharg^ which have reactors until they are twice die age they were made the Irish Sea die most radioactive sea designed to be nin to. Four of diese reactors in die world. Oléate despite known structural faults. In this way. Nuclear Electric are gambling with The Government are keen to pursue THORP die healdi of their employees, and of the because of the amount it bas already spent on nation. iL BNFLaren'tparticulariyinterest^init- it's not economically viable for them to use Some of the high-level radioactive waste will the facilities. Japan and European countries need to be stored for 250,000 years (over are interested though - it means they don't 3,000 average lifetímes) before it reaches have to deal with tbeir own waste - THORP safe levels. How can we guarantee that this has contracts to reprocess fw them and store waste wUl be looked after properly in the the highly radioactive plutonium in Britain. future, and why should we expect future générations to Uve in danger form our lethal legacy? But why does it matter? Apart from leaving a huge bill for At présent, Nirex wants to bury low and intermediate level future genermions to look after our waste, diere is a well known waste near Sellafield. Greenpeace believes that such waste link between excessive radiation and leukaemia. This is a should be stored abo^fi ground in special failsafe facilities. This problem that affects us NOW. In Seascade, 1 mile from Sel- reduces the chance of adoptíng an "out of sight - out of mind" lafield, there is a leukaemia rate 10 times the national average. philosophy, and also means that it is easier to gain access to the waste should it be necessary. Greenpeace also believes diat Andy. THIRD WORLD DEBT n the 1970's the solutions to the third world's problem was for die dûrd world banks can claim £3 back. They can afford to Ideemed to be reckless lending of money by the western strike these debts from their register but they need encouraging. world. the money rarely got further dian the ruling elites. According to Lloyds Bank the origins of the debt crisis are In the early 80's interest rates soared. The peopie, not the elites, economic mismanagement by certain countries. They deny the had to pay back the debts many times over, ensured by die effects such debts could have on the environment. They are (IMF). These countiies are still paying back and diey even are planning to extend this debt over the next20 to 30 years, despite f^urther in debt than before. attending initiatives to eut the obligation by 80%. Their concem is that wholesale haies, dolphins and porpoises are take ihe conservation aspect seriously should not be carried on any longer be- Wsea-living mammals, known as ce- and this is where Greenpeace became cause of the ethical implications of taking tac^ans. They are found in ail areas of involved to help tum public opinion whales. They consider the method of sea, from equatorial to polar régions, and against the mass whaling of these mam- killing is not humane and the industry Crom deep océans to coastal waters. A mals. More and more nations joined in cannot be Justified as satisfying impor- few species of dolphins are also found in support of the (IWC) and fmally in 1986 tant human needs by killing animals of the great rivers of Asia and Latin Amer- an indefînite ban on whaling was intro- such special significance as the whale." ica. The threats they face are many and duced. varied: from toxic pollution of our An Australian Government statement at and seas to intensive fishing and deliber- So why are we still conceraed about these the IWC meeting, 1981. ate killing. Human activities have beautiful creatures today? brought some species to the edge of ex- tinction and ultimately threaten them. Unfortunately the ban was staged on over What can you do? exploitation rather than the moral and Today whales are hunted mainly for their ethical grounds of their right to protec- At the moment Greenpeace is activating meat which bas beœme an expensive tion. It is still the case that dolphins, a boycott of Norwegian products. There delicacy, especially in Japan. whales and porpoises are at most risk are two ways to avoids these products from the activities of man, ie pollution, one is to know which products them- Over 2 million whales have been killed over fishing and entanglement in fishing selves should not be bought These in- this century. Once there were 250.000 nets. clude 'Nutrogena,'Hally Hansen' blue whales in the southern océans; to- (camping products), and North Sea day there maybe as few as 400. In fact, General acceptance of this whaling ban, Prawns. there are so few they may yet become Norway, Jiq)an and Iceland ai« still argu- extincL ing for ils reversai. They are continually At times this is a difficult task to carry defying the ban which means thaï at least out, however some supermarkets have By the 1930's it was recognised, even by 14,(X) whales have been killed since the agreed to boycott these products in their the whalers themselves that the whale ban in 1986. stores. 'Safeways' and 'Iceland' are safe population was seriously depleted and bets! TESCOS ISN'T!!! that it would only get worse. This even- A question to asked is whether or not tually led to the formation of the Interna- whaling should continue from a moral If you would like any more informa- tional Whaling Commission (IWC). standpoint^ regardless of the numbers tion, please write to Greenpeace at 30- Their intention was to regulate the hunt- still inexistence. 31 Islington Green, LONDON N18XE. ing of whales woridwide. Tbis was not suffìcient, even to hait the depletion let "There has been in some countries a alone increase their numbers again. In Siobhan Balfour strong view that whaling activities the 1970' the (IWC) finally started to and Susanna Akehurst A Success Story in Forestry Management nstead of focusing on the negative side of giwn issues and what needs to be done I have decided to look into one of the success Istories. Sweden is an example of this, wiüi two thirds of the land area coveied by forests of spruce, pine and birch. mey also have a thriving paper hidustry. Swedish companies felling trees have to (by law) replace every felled tree with a new sapling. Considering it takes about a hundred years for a sapling to mature into a tree that is ready to be felled the management is never-ending. The cycle goes on and on - a new siq)ling is planted, an old tree is harvested. The industry has been computerised in the last fîfty yeitfs and instead of woodcutters living in small communities dose to the forest it is now only necessary to have one man with the aid of a computer to fell the trees. m e modem machinery enables trees to be felled, stripped of their branches and cut into logs in the matter of a few seconds. The computer helps the driver to decide how best to cut up the tree leaving no wastage. Almost half the trees felled are tumed into paper or paper products, one of Sweden's largest producers being S torà, mey own over one and a half millicm hectares of forest in Sweden. While they fell a large area of forest, some parts are left in üieir natural state providing homes for an abundance of wildlife. mey are also experimenting on fmding the best habitat for species. For example some species of insect and fungi thrive in areas that have recently been bunit; so Stora have been buniing small patches of cleared land to see if these species will colonise the area and thrive in it. This shows that a balance can be achieved between peoples' greed and their concem for the environmenL It may not be perfect but it is a positive step forward. Catherine CYCLING SAFELY? ho is NOT happy with cycling facilities in You can also write to some of the following people to show W Guildford and on campus? them that people want better provisions: Surrey County Council University of Surrey students are starting a petition calling for Highways and Transportation Dept the improvement of cycleways in Guildford. County Hall Penrhyn Road What is needed? Kingston upon Thames Surrey KTl 2DW A cycle network for Guildford providing links between Uie The Editor University, die Railway Station, Town Centre, Arlington, The Surrey Advertiser Onslow, Bam, Stouton, Burpham, Merrow, Shalfcnxl, Go- Martyr Road dalming, Slyfield Industrial Estate and die Technical College. Guildford GUI 4LQ This should be realised with parallel routes along roads with special signs, signed cycle lanes, shared cycle use of pedestrian footbridges and better road conditions through out Guildford Guildford Borough Council (just in the gutter where cyclists have to cycle). Millmead House Millmead Guildford GU2 5BB On Campus: What will be done with the petition? more secure cycle stands (ones which will accept U bolts) smoother kerbs (for instance at Yorkies Bridge) The petition will be handed to die Mayor of Guildfcwd. He will easier and safer road aossing for cyclists and pedestrians use this to show die council that there is a need in Guildford for better cycleing provisions. This should speed up die draft What you can do! proposals diat the council has for cycleways in the area. Cur- rently diey propose to have some cycleways by die year 2006. We would like to see this sooner! Sign the petition! U can be found in KUB's and in die Union and on some noUceboards. The petidon is also being circulated around schools and shops in Guildford. For more information Guido Geirmann come to the Green Fair in die Union on Wednesday 23rd Feb. BOYCOTT NESCAFE esdé, the company which makes Breast fed babies need no otiier food oi They are all clearly labelled. Manydiou- NNe«^fé, produces nearly half of the drink for the ûrst 4 to 6 mondis of life. sands of people have joined the boycott worlds baby milk. They give free sup- (including the Church of England, the plies of baby milk to hospit;Us in devel- Women's Institute and the Royal College Nesdé breaks the international code of oping countries and encourage health of Midwives) workers to promote dieir products. marketing which bans all fonns of pro- motion of baby milk. Bottle vs Breast The United Nations Children's Fund * Unsafe water leads to diarrhoea, dehy (UNICEF) says diat in poor comitries dration and malnutrition. bottle fed babies are up to 25 times more * Baby milk often costs more than hall likely to die than breast fed babies. This the entire family income leading to fam is oiainly because water mixed with the ily malnutrition. baby powder can be unsafe, and keeping * Over dilution of expensive baby milk botUes and teats sterile is often impossi- Just a few of the many violations that causes malnutrition. ble. Contamination of milk leads to Nesdé have made: Bottle fed babies are 25 times more "Bottle Baby Disease". This is die name likely to die. given to the deadly combinMion of diar- • Nesdé give free supplies of baby milk rhoea, dehydration, and malnutrition. to hospitals in many countries * B^y protected against diabetes, pneu inonia, ear infections, polio and odiei More dian one baby dies every 30 sec- • Nesdé print baby milk labels in a lan- conditions. ondsbecauseitwasnotbreastfed. That guage not understood by die mother in * The extra food needed to feed a breac is 1.5 million babies every year. 11 countries feeding mother costs only one tendi ol dial needed to pay for baby milk. * Breast feeding is a form of contract • Nesdé give gifts or payments to health After as few as one or two bottle feeds in tion, preventing more birtiis worldwide workers in many countries. the first days means the mother Is one dian aJl other mediods put together. diird less l&ely to be able to breast feed her baby successfully. Once she leaves Please join die boycott. Don't buy Nes- hospital baby milk is no longer free and café and if possible avoid all Nestlé prod- For more information come to the Green safe water/sterile botdes and teats are not ucts (including Rowntree, Findus, Fair on Wednesday 23 Feb in die Union. guaranteed. Il may dien be too late to go Shredded Wheat, Perrier, Crosse & back to breast feeding. Blackwell, Builoni and Chambourcy). Calum Bored with the monotony of working in Britain every holiday? Fed up with the lack of summer jobs availabie? Pissed off that Surrey term dates mean that you miss out on the best summer jobs? IV/jy not: WORKAMERICA WORKamOA woRKjmia WORKAUSTRALIA or BUNACAMP! For more details come to the.— PRESENTATION Weds 23 February 1.1 Spm LT B AND Mon 2 May 6.1 Spm LT B Mi CCuSs & Societies If you are planning an event you may be able to advertise it for FREE in this space. Please come and speak to Rachel Davison, Communications Officer, well in advance. MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY 21st 22nd Feb 23rd IÌn^ Green Week Quiz Ladies' Rugby No Wave presents: Lower Bar 8pm presents: Wishp ants with Baby Chaos (support) "Ann Summers" WEEK 7 OFU - n the Line in the Lower Bar Lower Bar 8-llpm 8 ti llpm ENTS PLANNER of Pire LTG 8pm THURSDAY FRI DAY SATURDAY SUNDAY 24th 25th 26th 27th Ents presents: Charm Green Disco Sunday Night Band Dub Pressure IVIain Union in the Union Cropdusters A night of Dub 9pm - 4am 8pm-2am (fast & furious fo k!) Reggae £1 entry £5 entry Phat Vibes in the Lower Bar (formery Jazz & OFU - 6pm LTG 8pm ti lam B ues) Lower Bar The Last Action Mero 11 World domination by extra-terrestrial man-eating monster! ased on Roger Corman's 1963 science fiction classic, "Lit- Su Pollard, the star of the show, is hilariously convincing in her Btle Shop of Horrors", the musical was written 23 years later portrayal of Audrey, the dithering blonde. However, a word of when Alan Menken and Howard Ashman transfonned what had waming: judging by the ear-piercing shrillness with which she become a quiet late-night cult film into an off-Broadway show. executes the songs (and the fact that during her TV debut she Perhaps most of our generation, though, are more familiar with came second to a Jack Russell in a singing contest) I would not the 1986 film version of the musical, which stars Rick Moranis, recommend purchasing a copy of her recently completed CD Ellen Greene and Steve Martin. entitled "Among Friends"! Set iu the early 60s in seedy downtown New York, "Little Shop Mr Mushnik, the shopkeeper, is played by Amcrican-bom of Horrors" is an energetic mixture of zany humour, bizarre Morgan Deare. He portrays his character impeccably as a characters and aggravatingly infectious 60s-style songs. The stereotypical miserly Jewish businessman. Marc Joseph is hys- action starts in Mr Mushnik's second-rate florist's which fronts terical as Seymour and comes across as an anorak-dad, train- Skid Row, where a group of tramps and alcoholics add to the spotting, star-gazing pubescent. Especially impressi ve, though, intended effect of apparent squalor. The gawky orphan, Sey- is Peter McNally who plays the sadistic boyfriend aiìd succeeds mour, sweeps the floor and loves from afar his beautiful col- in appearing both dauntingly imposing as well as side-split- league, Audrey, whilst her boyfriend, C)rin (a 7-foot Elvis tingly funny. lookalike), remains a formidable adversary. Business is bad and deteriorating. Audrey and Seymour fear redundancy; Mr Mu.sh- "Little Shop of Horron;" is worth going to see solely on the nik, imminent bankruptcy. UNTIL one day, Seymour purchases merits of puppeteer Ken Haines, who is to be credited for the an extra-terrestrial Venus fly-trap which he nicknames Audrey brilliant création and animation of non-user-friendly Audrey II, II. Instantly, business booms, Seymour finds fame and fortune the plant with a BIG appetite. The show can be appreciated and love blossoms. End of story? Not quite... either as just a lively light-hearted comedy musical or as a moralistic tale with highly sinister overtones which reminds us This plant is not satisfied with the locai nursery's best quality that material success isn't quite all that it's cracked up to be if compost and rainwater. Audrey II is caniivorous aiìd has a you're relying on a power-crazy cannibalistic cactus to get you penchant for human blood and flesh. With surprisingly few there! qualms, Seymour proceeds to Iure Audrey's biker boyfriend to his deatii and then meticulously chops him up with the precisión "Little Shop of Horrors", directed by Richard Lewis, has now of one dicing carrots. At the dose of the show, after Mr finished its short run at the New Victoria Theatre, Woking. Mushnik, Audrey and Seymour himself have in tum fallen prey However, ali is not lost; this is a major tour, so no doubt any to the gr^n guzzler, the audience is left with the discomforting inspired readers will be able to track down the show in the West idea that Audrey II will be used to make little Audrey II End. offspring for unsuspecting American families. Fran Borg' Wheeler ARTS LISTINGS ON CAMPUS out already, so you'll have to act fast if updated for a modem audience to pro vide you want to see it prior to the West End. hilarious, compelling entertainment. In the Mill Studio, 24-26 February, Brian Glover as the infamous lecherous Tues22Feb: 7.30pm: Hall: Emilyn Claid "Macready", a celebration of the epony- Miller leads the proceedings. presents "Laid Out Lovely" - a rotting mous actor written and perfonned by Box Office: 0483 761144. romance, it says here. This deliciously Frank Barrie. According to the Beeb, it's disturbing ballet looks at romantic sym- "fascinating, exciting and very funny". bolism and explores the creation of ro- Y.A. Box Office: 0483 64571. Redgrave Theatre, Farnham manticised images as a substitute for real feelings of love, loss and longing. Peter Shaffer's delightful and witty com- Wed 23 Feb: 1.15pm: PATS Studio One: Civic Hall, Guildford edy "Lettice & Lovage" opens on 16 Feb- Free Lunchtime Concert Beethoven - ruary and runs until 12 March. Sonata, Op.53; Mozart - hom Concerto Overwrought historical Imagination and No.4; Clopland - Piano Sonata; Rachman- Wed 16 - Sat 19: Godalming Operatic a shared loathing of architectural carbun- inov - Cello Sonata; Brahms - Piano So- Society presents "The Sorceror" by Gil- cles sparks off an unlikely and eccentric nata, Op.l. bert & Sullivan. Wed 23 Feb: 7.45pm: Alexandra Roy friendship and a Crusade to "Enlarge, En- Wed 23 Feb: 8pm: LTG: Arts Cinema: Ballet present "The Magic Flute". liven and Eniighten"! BF Review next "Orlando" - Sally Potter's extraordinary Thürs 24 Feb: 7.45pm: Sean Hughes, week. Box Office: 0252 727000. adaptation of the Virginia Woolf classic comedian famous for his Channel 4 se- of sexual identity. Stars the superb Tilda ries. Swinton plus Quentin Crisp as Queen COMING SOON Elizabeth I! Tickets (£1.90) must be bought in advance from the Union Trad- New Victoria Theatre, Woking Surrey University Drama Society, the ing Desk. people who brought you "What the But- 15-19 February: "A Tribute to the Blues ler Saw", are to present the hilarious Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Brothers" celebrates the sound and style "Black Comedy" by Peter Schaffer on of the Ackroyd/Belushi cult, with cla.ssic 3rd, 4ih and 5th March at 7.45pm. Their Guildford soul hiLs like "Rawhide", "Minnie the last play was so successful that this one Moocher" and, of course, "Everybody is being presented in the bigger arena of A major revival of "A Month in the Needs Somebody". See review. Lecture Theatre D. Tickets will be on sale Counijy", Ivan Turgenev's classic com- 21 -26 February: "The Canterbury Tales": on the door and in the Union foyer during edy of sexual and mercenary intfigue, Rude, crude, bawdy, boisterous and very the lunchtimes of weeks 7 & 8. starring Helen Mirren and John Hurt, funny, Michael Bogdanov's adaptation opens on 16 February and mns until 5 of Geoffrey Chaucer's classic has been Ustìngs compiied by Andy Wilcock March. The whole mn is practically sold 12 Sizzling. **** Weil done. The Video Box Medium. Much Ado About Nothing (PG) Pretty raw. * A dead cow. 111 mins, Starring Kenneth Branagh, Richard Briers, Den- zel Washington, Robert Sean Leonard. Dir. Kenneth Branagh. Coneheads (PG) * ubtiüed "Ken and Em ponce around Tuscany in baggy white Sclothes looking like a Persil ad", diis is Branagh's second 83 mins, Starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michelle cinematic ruimnage through Shakespeare's drawers, and in Burke. Dir. Steve Barron. doing so he has created a cheery film that even the most hardened bardophobe will find haid to dislike. Having assem- hat I don't understand is how die idea for diis film ever bled a truly bizarre cast including Batman as a particularly Wseemed remotely worthwhile. Someone must have actu- slimy Captain of the Guards calied Dogbeiry, Ted (as in "Bill ally convinced people to invest money in a project which &") as Don John and The Man from Auntie as myopie Verges consists of three pointy headed aliens who walk like Rain Man (My name's Verges, Good morrow), he carted diem off to and talk like die offspring of Pinky (or Perky) and HAL from Tuscany where he just let them get on with having a whale of 2001 who are trying to avoid immigration officiais who con- a time and acdng dieir litde leather britches off. The story sider diem "Illegal Aliens" (what a funny joke) while attempt- centres around Claudio (Robert Sean Leonard) who is in love ing to fit into a typical middle class community. This is a widi Hero (Kate Beckinsale), but whose brodier (Don John) is salesman who could seil banality to Cilla Black. This haemor- jealous and so tries to destroy dieir proposed marriage by rhoid on the bum of comedy doesn' t even have the courtesy to convincing Claudio of Hero's infideUty. There are also plenty credit die TV programme 'Mork and Mindy' as the source of of amusing side stories including lethally-tongued Ken and Em what few jokes it has. The much publicised fact diat it is based who are bodi dioroughly committed to üieir unattached statuses on a Saturday Night Live sketch (as were Wayne's World iuìd (stati?) undi DenzeI wagers diat he can change their outlooks The Blues Brodiers) does not make it any funnier. by convincing each that the other is in love. All in all, this is an excellent and blessedly untheatrical working of one of Shaky's Karl lesser known plays, set in beauüful countfyside and directed with a refreshing air of freedom and fun. OFU's Apple Orgy ^irsdy tìiis week, some bad news. We are unable to show Cliffhanger on March 6dì and March 7dì due to a misunderstanding F widì our distribu tors. The good news is diat we have a hot film to take its place : "Consenting Adults". Instead of a tense, acdon-packed thriller, you can see a diriller of a different type. The ORI offering diis week is "In the Line of Pire", starring Clint Eastwood in a more clean-shaven role. He plays Secret Service Agent Frank Horrigan who is protector of die President of die United States which, fortunately for Americans, is as dose as Clint is ever likely to get to die Presidency. Clint has to deal widi a psychopaüiic president-basher, and is haunted by die memory of not being able to save John F. Kennedy 30 years previously. This is a gripping thriller which was nominated for several Oscars - make sure you don't miss it. The Arts Cinema is showing "Orlando", a British film based upon the book of the same name by Virginia Woolf. It follows die Ufe story of a man bom into Elizabedian England who lives for 400 years, and changes imo a woman.The story is told in a series of episodes, each widi its own dieme - love, poetry and politìcs to name a few. Make sure you get your dckets for this highly enjoyable fihn. Our apologies to our disappointed members. Until next week, Thomas the Cat. Important Point about Ticket Sales uest tickets for OFU perfonnances are available from die Union Trading Desk priced £1.90. The Trading Desk is open G between lOam and 3.30pm Monday to Thursday and lOam to 3pm on Friday. When the Trading Desk is closed, guest dckels may be reserved by putting your name on die list held by die House Officer. This may be done up to an hour before die perfonnance starts and tickets cost £2. You should be able to enter die building to reserve ückeLs even when die building is closed for sound checks etc. Season tickets are available from Üie Trading Desk priced £7.50. We are not permitted to seil tickets on the door. OFU would like to thank Patsy and the House OfTicers for their continued assistance. 13 AT THE MOVIES With Pete 'n' Phil Odeon, Epsom Road - Friday 18 February for 7 Days Sci*6di 1 * Screen 2 : MRS DOUBTFIRE (12) FREE WILLY (U) ikely to be one of the best comedies of the year, this gnoring the obvious title jokes, this is the heart-warm- -ihas the miuvellous Robin Williams as an immature Iing (or some would say sickly) everyday story of a boy actor who, heartbroken at losing access to his kids during and his whale. Having problems at home and feeling his divorce, dons a dress and uses his skills to become the trapped, Jesse strikes up a relationship with an imprisoned eponymous, formidable, Scottish housekeeper, Mrs killer whale (as you do) and, recognising the whale's Doubtfire; in whose name he lands ajob in his ex-wife's plight as a reflection of his own, he naturally decides to house. If you ignore the fact that his wife must have the free the beast and prove a point to all those horrible adults. brains of a guppy not to recognise her husband in drag James Jason Richter is actually pretty good as Jesse, this is a terrific comedy with some wonderful set pieces although some of the older actors let the side down, and and, of course, Robin Williams. Okay, it is too long, but the movie does become too sentimental and slushy. How- director Chris Columbus (who did "Home Alone") is wise ever, those that like this type of thing will probably enjoy enough to trust his actors and just let them go. it and find themselves sniffing back their tears. Daily at 2.00 5.00 8.00 Daily at 1.15 3.45 6.15 8.45 Screen 3 : Screen 4 : THE THREE THE REMAINS OF MUSKETEERS (PG) THE DAY (U) nergetic remake of the Alexander Dumas classic, ased on the Booker Prize-winning novel by Kazuo E L/which blends the choreographic perfection of latter BIshiguro, this typically gentle and elegant period day action movies with the high camp of Richard Lester's drama from Mcrchant/Ivory tells the story of Stevens, a 1970's adaptations. Charlie Sheen (Aramis), Kiefer butler whose master (a peer) attempted to avert war by Sutherland (Athos) and Oliver Piatt (Porthos) swash and sucking up to the Nazis. The rich and detailed pnxluction buckle like they' ve been doing all their lives, although an design provides a perfect backdrop for some startling expert tells us that Sheen's fencing technique looks, well, acting from Anthony Hopkins as Stevens and Emma suspect. Anyway, this is all very enjoyable stuff, al- Thompson as the housekeeper who falls in love with him. though you can't help feeling that it is also a desperate Both have received thoroughly deserved Oscar nomina- attempt by certain ageing brat packers to inject some life tions for their perfonnances. into their faltering careers. Daily at 1.25 5.25 8.25 Daily at 1.15 3.45 6.15 (not Sat) 8.45 (not Thürs) Enquiries/Credit Card bookings : Sat 19th: TWO FOR ONE OFFER!!! o to the 3.45 performance of "The Three Musket- Guildford 578017. Advance Box Office Geers" and see a preview of "Cool Running" immedi- ately afterwards for free!! No separate entry for "Cool open 2pni - 7pni. Student Discount Running". available Mon-Thurs before 7pni (with NUS or ISIC card only). 14 Joß Spot ^ About Job Spot... DISCLAIMER If you wish to advertise a vacancy on this page which is suitable for students All students please note: the job de- please drop me a line at Bare Facts in the Students' Union. The service is free to tails on this page are the only infor- advertisers. mation we have and the Students* Union accepts no responsibility for the validity of jobs detailed on this Spectrum Leisure Centre page. It is up to each individual to check out the validity of each job Requires flexible part-time receptionists who are quick to leam and willing to pick up when applying. We would be Inter- shifts. Pay is £3.55 per hour, uniform is provided, also discounted food and use of ested to know if any jobs turn out to facilities. If interested please contact Julie BIydi on Guildford 444777. be bogus so that we can ensure the company is not advertised again on this page. Thank you. Quantum Marketing Doing Well at Selection Centres Requires approximately 14 people to do 2-3 days work cash in hand on 7di, 8di and possibly 9th March (Monday - Wednes- 2 Personality and Ability Tests day) to pack presentadon packs at Compton Village Hall. Transport to and from Guildford can be provided. A maximum You know the feeling well. You've just sat down to take an of 15 hours per week can be paid cash in hand at £3.50 per hour. exam. There's nothing you can do now. The invigilator is just Anyone interested please see Rachel Davison, Communica- about to hand out papers. The adrenalin starts flowing. What tions Officer. if you can't answer any of the quesdons? What will you do if you blow it? As if it wasn't enough to have to go dirough diis trauma time after time at school and at university, you've just heard that you've been invited to a selection centre which will include that dreaded word once again - tests. Yes, employers are increasingly using them to try to measure Students Union what people are really like. But let me first put your mind at rest over one diing. Not all of die tests which employers use are taken under exam conditions. Some tests are designed to measure different aspects of your personality such as your sociability or your assertiveness. These are not usually timed Quick Copying Semce and there are no right answers. It is best to answer diese as honestly as you can and not try to give the answers which you think the employer want you to give. Offset Printing and Binding Now we come to the kinds of tests which are timed. These have a different purpose. They are an attempt to measure your ability in some area. For example, how good are you at working with All binding materials available for sale, figures, can you recognise patterns, are you good at reasoning widi words, and so on. The key to doing well in these is to lake including covers, Acetates, Combs (spirals), full advantage of the preparation time. As the instructions are Standard and Super Copier paper. read out to you make quite sure you understand what you are asked to do. Make the most of this opportunity to ask questions while you can. Once the test starts it's out of the question! Located You'll have practice examples to try. Don't worry about hold- ing everyone up if you find these difficult. It is vital you get the gist of what is required before the real questions start. by entrance to Chancellor's Restaurant Thereafter, aim to work - quickly and accnrately. Some tests start easy and lull you into a false sense of security. Don't be For Further lnforrr)atior) fooled! They often get more difficult as the test proceeds and you realise you don't have as much time as you thought Phone - Mike Ramm - on 3267 Finally, as I said last week, try to stay calm even if you diink Who'll be pleased to help you you've done badly. Tests only form part of the selection process and you can aim to improve your overall perfonnance Tel: 0483 259223 through doing well in odier exercises. Union House, Guildford, Surrey. GU2 5XH Russ Clark Careers Service a T> DAVE RAG-TCME- Va mes Da ne PesuKe h On ppomolíon íhis wech: Its ovep ijou wouid n't irise ookinq apoun see coup "§a!c § DIB YOU KNOW? JalLiS.ßSO LíÁa- 'Watll 50,000 miLi. pttÄ/IA/ O^IUUIMA ,800 taa'Í€Á'apÍA*íuL COMPETITO 09,200 Umc^ h. his cofum hä. weck you ínay have noticed the ptx^^idcnt mcntioft íiuit. he iÄ callea by mmz Títc CardboQíd and that he tos SPONSORED íiot. goííig tc> í^cvcal fe ír^.>íL ílo^evcr he hm changcd ím mind Ö # and ^ill teil QAQ. We ^ouíd like V Trying to lose you to tdl m von Lhmk, íhal Q: What do you weight btit haven't Dave Vmceíit is caílcd 'Dave-ftio cali a duck In quite got the ^11 Qu=idbord 5ox'. AxOTCf-s oii a a Shell suit? power to stick to poítbcQjrd in the ñom Tacú yottr linüts? Joln Píí7iC for tie cloíic^t aa^Tcr and the RAG sponsored tíie «illicÄt. ati^U'ef - judged by Ú\c slinty and lose those 5ox hií«ifllí Dúmé have been poimds and beneflt doaatcd by ^Mmiths, ^ A: An eggll charlty* For more Information come ^ UvK to the RAG office meeti^ - 6.20frm Hue^d^ üt táe Sm 16 n Tini - Uianks for llie roses - love M n Cluis H. Do I know you? Do you know me? Do H When are you going to reveal yourself lo me 7?? (your idenlity Uiat is) L'N'H'N'C'N'K - R QPaui T • Happy Birtlidayü! Conte atid collect YOD know what we did? Sue B n Jessica, I saw you in the union and was struck by your l^day kiss! Hugs & Kisses • Mei HTo quote highiander - There can be only one! - your beauty like a man in a copper arnwur during Oui of my ll>eories2(o 10. there's no contest, Q Land on a idss - wili you land oo mine? • P a thunderstorm - Mark, Q Vicram - Build up (hose muscles you sexy (hing! n So many E.B.M - only one Wednesday a week! n You are "dirty", but I like you! Forever yours, PS - Keep (hose glasses sleaiiied up. Q Lost - one vicuña. Last seen on the perimeter M xxx. road. Plea.'se contact Frank Muir, Anita Harris or QCadiertne W - I hold you precious above ali n Dear Chris - tanks for chopping my curly bits • TREV. Love Ray. else...with love. Ho HTaz - Are you ready lo party yet? Keep on n Julia + Skids + Gerbii = Good lime? babbi ing!! Q Alistair - so blood pressure is measured in PSl is it? n YES GARY. SIX BEDS! (anag) n Giles - By lJ)e lake is a wonderful idea, but I can't Q "You're the one that I want" - well, you miglit Q Mark - [>on't ever forget thaï nigltt on the hill. in wait until the summer. Let's try (lie lecture théâ- tlie mi.st, with Simple Minds playing. It's a tres and you can show me what you're made of! be if I laiew who you are! P.S. Bring a few pints Guiness and a bottle of Q A - tlianks for tea and the chat. Lels do it more shanie we weren't weartng our 501's becaase no( red wine! even the stars were watching us. xx often. L+H's. n l'm lurning Japanese, I iJiink l'm turning Japa- n To my secret adniirer. Cheers for the Valentine n Waslier & Bather - Just so you don't feel left out. nese, 1 really think so!! card, bu( sign il next lime if you want a more we love you! Pizza & Pani.« n Roses are red, violetsareblue, Paul did send the personal, intimate reply Oike the one I "gave" the n Regulator Plus is now available, will) added rose and he lied to all o' you! F^nes. Look out for those Fri.sbee Knick* HTweedledee • Hope everytliing gels sorled! - giri who did). PAT. HBlaloid. 1 say you'd better watch your step, 'cos ers...(cm the loose!) Love Tweediedum x l've got a live man eating a tiger at home and if I QAhaKpUnk) Sad nouns walked. (anag) Q "Sonya" and friends! • Can you do the Ents ai next Q Matt's Cliallenge - Find a ging^ girl! year."i Valentines Disco as well? You were Trif- so much as wink, He'il rip your lungs out! n Afam and Becky - Happy BirtJiday to tlie both of fic! - Love Plonker x ElLiz-you star! Love David, you, hope you boti) have a great one! From ya n Rachel Royle_KÌssy, Kis.'sy, Kissy!! Hope you n To the bikeless bra-fondler, (Mech Eng Yr 4), old pals! P.S. SLAAAAMMM!!!!?!?! enjoyed the party - we certainly did! Happy 20lh! didn't you leam anything at school? LoveC + R! H Congratulations to TREV and DAMIEN. - Love no 62 n Hids - Noise...AAAH!! - Neena. tliey've both been nonùnated for tlie prestigious Q Satellite Kid - Cm giad we were able (o make n lan and Piglet - I think you had TOO MUCH Philip Mardiant chundering prize!!! Mcmday complete. 1 can't wait 'til the house is regulator. n To the stylish inhahitant of Slag Hill 24 - Wliat empty again!!! - Princess Valium Q Mech Eng 3 Shottaniill 1. Congrals for fmally do you wear in bed? Banana peeis or a skirt? n Dyslexies, please will you take part in my study. scoring iU the right end. n Arthur - We're sorry! You're aJways welcome • Contact Katrina Searle ext 4164. H PIGLET ' What does G.l.Ti stand for? 66 GPA n To ali final year FMC tarts - keep tailing! H Music was my fu^st love!... n am mR SPRAY SNORE? (anag) H 'Elio, 'Elio, 'Elio - Wliafs going on here tJien? Q How much joy out of tuming a light off? B Beast • Thanq! • Love & hugs, Beauty QS'n'SB...Is there anything Ihat you're not good Q l've neverseenstreakersonatablefootball pitch! n Paul T - Have the best birthd^ - prefer^Aly injury at??xx n Debs, you are a messy eater! n Miss McCleanand MrMaslen - if you can't write free please! Love A hugs - Zoe n Wil! ì have fun rindingoul??xx straight or keepZhyperactive 18 year olds under H Hooray for BOLTON n B = Blankei. control can you really survive as teachers? Q Neena - NO you can't have your knickers back. n I didn't know ice hockey players were so good al Ivan Friediington is using them as a (ea cosy • n Simon The Horse - Have you had any complaints pool!! Trev yet ? n Simon s - Chin up and poul. n Skid - Who are you?- SKID Q Ève + Sheila - Tlianks for the toilet paper • Mr. n Becky - Happy Birtliday again!! Remember n Colgale Total - it works all through the day, even Mr. Birthdays are cool and funky!! Remember to when you've gone swinuiiing! Q Sarah - l'Il need another week but till then enjoy jazz it up all year long!!! - Mr Ho (Hee! Hee!) n Chris - HaR)y 24ii) Birtliday. Congratulations + n Richard & Aiden - Conipton - We meant tossing y(HJr Sauerkraut und Salzkatoffehn. the pancakes not each otlier. BirtJi Wishes - Gill. Q New song for Friday niglit - Chunder In TheSky n Compton 7 - Did I miss something on tliat Friday UTo the peking duck king - Happy Birthday. - Noel Ridiards ni^U of tl>e Bail? From "Tlie girl th^ needs the Dude! Love from the old git. n Didillywhat - we love you more than words can ariel"! a D = Duvet say - PG xxx Ö Neena - Would you like to try my hygienic air- n So what did the sun hit his head on then? QDeb's and lan's flip group are the QUASAR flow tights? - T n Rachel - reniind us, where was tlie key?! n Weil done TALCUM ROAST (anag) for the Hrst champs! RWho is keeoing the "sislerhood" in sus- n Hannah just sils on it and lets it out on the way meeting, but please be punctual in futiu'e. home whilst Debbi puts her foot right in il pensc??...Golor it. bebrave!! Love'n'hugs xx n Coming soon - TURBO - regulator (once Bob's nSo, youenjoyedyourselfMichael, evenwithtlie n Bob - can I have some xeroiic regulator, if you sued for patent infringement) aeroplanes walking over the top? please? [)avid n ali SH 42 • Happy Birthday! Keep on making n Skid "captain AGMs Notices Chemistry Essay Law Soc AGM - 21 st February in the LIS Lihrurv Ap|)Ciil for Competition - coffee room (AD20) at Ipm. Zimbabwe Win £1000 Choral Society AGM - Friday 18th Feb- ruary at 5pin in PA18 (PATS). 1 L'ttlu l iii>i'i*sil\ orSinru) hi-l[il(i T^he magazine Chemistry & Industry eclucattr our Wu ai-e c(»Hei*t- X has launched its fourth annual essay Ing 'fi«i IdDKfi reciuired* iMiokv nfail competition for university students in Civ Soc AGM - Tuesday Ist March al kinds - ti'YtlMHiks ami an> fi< tUm departments of chemistry and related 5pm in 10AA19. liuiiks - tm tliv Zhiibaltvi-c ilbrai-y subjects. Tlie wriler of tlie best informal dppent Pieuse giv« any unwanted essay on recent chemical research and its Aeroball Club AGM to be held at 7pm on hotiks to Kachel Davlson. Coniniu- application for the benefit of society will Tuesday 22nd Feb by Aeroball Court nkatioifcs Orfiiur, in the Stuili'iilv* win £10(X), and his/her essay will be Please attend. i:Ilion who will thon |>»st thfin un to published in Chemistry & Industry. /inihabwi'. Ladies' Hockey Club AGM - Monday The competition, sponsored by Zeneca, 21st Feb (week 7) at Spm in the Nelson Surrt'y I nivorsîly is intended to encourage young scienlisls Mandela Room. to write about chemistry for non-scien- Btixiiig Club tists in an interesting and intelligible way. Men's Hockey Club AGM - Monday The judges are Professor Charles Rees, 21st Feb (week 7) at 8.1 Opm al the Sports W (tlncvihiys 7-Mpin, 2n(l niH>r in thi* President of the Royal Society of Chem- Hall Bar. l'anipUNport Centré'. Ik'Kinntrs istry, Professor Peter Day, Director of welcdme.. the Royal Institute, Dr Bernard Dixon, Drama Soc AGM - 23rd Feb at 2pm in science writer, and Tim Radford, science TBl. Can\ou siiij;???'' editor of The Guardian. Techno Soc AGM - Fri ISth Feb at 6pm 1^M^ (lon'l hoihfi rt.idinKdnv Tiir- The second prize is £500 and there will in the Main Union. Iher. We'vu ;;<>t thiv choii hul oiil\ be two runners-up prizes of £250 each. for pcopic who Just Wanna have fun The deadline for entries is 29 April. For Civ Soc AGM - Ist March at 5pm in stn^^in;; sonu* i ool miii^s dm i hi^sic .il further details, see a recent issue of 10AA19. •»(ull). If >ou*rc intfitslud, com«, Chemistry & Industry in the University along to PAI S in the PATS buihlUig or Chemistry Department library, or write to the Editor, Chemistry & Indus- G&S AGM - Thursday 3rd March (week un I riclay I^tth l'i'b fi nm 5-6pni lor try, 15 Belgrave Square, London SWIX 8) at 7.3(^m in TB19. We will be show- d n:hfaiN.il (WL'll WL call it that an>- ing the video of Yeomen of the Guard! w.i), fViMi thoti^h ils nioniofa suchil m event). Tlils week weMl be dolng "The Mon Sleejis Tonight" with vo. Lower Bar EGMs cal percussion! No commltmmt or experlence neces^ry, just come Bookings For along fora laugh! Be there or*w or..v Ladies' Football Club EGM - Thursday uh nc^or niinrl. \n> tiucstions to the Summer Term 3rd March (week 8). Time and place Pavlil D.is ili Rtiurnv 1/10 iSuniv TBA. Ct). If you are tone dcaf and can^t even hum an out-of-tune note^ s from the summer term the Hikìng Club YOlì^RE THE ONE WE'RE ALower Bar may only be Sunday Walk l.oOKIMjKlK! booked for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. All 10.30 Outside Union, Pul> Lunch Thursday, Friday and Saturday Ali welcome IU N \C nights will be allocated to the Entertainment Officer. Presentation hi Tature Th<:ati-e R at I.lSpin on Wednesday 23rd Feb for BUNAC, Buitacamp and Work Bookings for Mondays, Tuesdays and Anii'rícii. Wednesdays for clubs and societies who Nightline have NOT had a booking this academic year will open on Monday 28lh February Personals 1994, week 8 at 10.00 a.m. from the Anyone who wants to Union General Office. Clubs and socie- ties who have had a booking during this become a Nightliner Please note thal until furiher notice we academic year can book on Tuesday 1st will only accept two personals per per- should call the Nightline March 1994 at 10.00 a.m., week 8. son - we are simply receiving far too office and leave their de- many to be able to print all of them. tails. If you have con- Bookings for individuals will open at tacted us in the past Please remember thatall personals musi 10.00 a-in. on Wednesday 2nd March be accompanied by a füll name and 1994, week 8. To confirm a booking a PLEASE CALL US Union card number. You can also send £40 returnable deposit is required. The AGAIN - the committee them to US on E-mail au Union Club will print 25 A3 or 50 A4 posters free of charge for each event, as has changed and details required. The art work for the posters have been lost. suol bf@ surrey must be provided at least 2 weeks in advance of the event. 18 GameSoc Campusdance pologies are due for die laclc of Tuesday 22nd February at 730 p.m. AGameSoc column, but final years do Main Hall, University of Surrey have woiic to do. Anyway, we are back widi news. EMILYN CLAID presents TABLETOP ROLEPLAY "Laid Out Lovely", a rotting romance. Sundays 2-npm LT A,B, J & K Provocative, pioneering choreographer/di- Wednesdays 6-Upm LT A & B rector Emilyn Claid pushes herself to die edge, exposing the Beauty of Death Fantasy. If people want more rooms please put a There is a danger in seeing a young person note in the pigeon hole. living with AIDS in 1994 in the same light as the consumptive beauty dying of love in LASER QUEST die 1850s. Every odier week. Due to die fact diat we Emilyn Claid in "Laid Out Lovely" has as- have spent our budget for Laser Quest, sembled a company of multi-talented per- we can only go if there are 32 players. fonners to create a fearless, upbeat and Please, please, please put your name in upfront new work, outwitting romance and the GameSoc Pigeon Hole. £7 for 4 celebrating passion. games, meet in front of die stage at 1pm for briefing. Tickets: £3.50 (students/concessions) from the Information Centre, Campusport Centre or the Guildford Institute. T-SHIRTS VENUES FOR AEROBICS CLASSES : These should be ready within die next couple of weeks. The price will be approx 21st-25th FEBRUARY £5. If you have reserved aT-shirt we need the money A.S.A.P. If you haven't and MONDAY 21st FEBRUARY want one, put a note in die pigeon Hole 6.00 p.m. Aerobics in University Hall with Yvonka and get some money to us soon. TUESDAY 22nd FEBRUARY PIGEON HOLE 5.30 p.m. Patetics in Campusport CenU"e widi Pat 6.30 p.m. Low Impact Aerobics in Campusport Centre with Pat Yes, it has moved so look for it. It is there so be padenL WEDNESDAY 23rd FEBRUARY 5.00 p.m. Aerobics in University Hall with Omar NOTICE BOARD THURSDAY 24di FEBRUARY We have one of these, too, upstairs next to die juke box. Keep an eye on it for 5.30 p.m. Patetics NOW on Fridays at I.OO p.m. at die Campusport Centre with Pat further news 6.30 p.m. Fast Aerobics at Campusport Centre with Yvonka (thank you Volleyball) LRP FRIDAY 2501 FEBRUARY There will be a meeting on Sunday at 2pm in Lecture Theatre B, we hope to 1.00 p.m. New Patetics Oike Callanetics) class at lunchtime to offer you another body make it short so diat you can get on with conditioning class due to unavoidable cancellations. New participants always wel- your games. There is sdll room for the come! "Bar Room Brawl 11" and indeed for Re- union. At die meeting we will tell you how to create your character. Also there CREDITS will be a short LRP event diis tenn. Places will be limited. Lizi Cable from die Adventurers Guild will be coming to Rachel Davison - Editor die university to give a further talk on Simon Francis • Music Mania character generation. The morning will Tim Eyles - Layup be spent creating characters, die after- noon will see die creaUoii of an adventure RAG Committee - Rag-Time for diose characters and the evening will Andy Wilcock - Culture Shock be the unfolding of the adventure. Names Vanessa McCombe - Adverts will be taken at the meeting, only 20 Nick Wright - Proofreader places are available, so make sure you are Campusport there!! Thanks Kate Jones & Nikki Henningham - Typists Christian Union - Stuffers KelUe Mike Ramm - Printer 19 Sponsored Push No Way Ref ! ! n Wednesday 16th March there will be a sponsored Opush around campus. You may choose to push ^^here was a good tunì out for "International Week Sports something/someone that represents your deparünent, X Day" (ie. Sunday Moming - 9 tili 2 - so perhaps it's better floor, house, accidentally lemporary borrowed items, rephrased "Sports Few Hours"), which was indeed a riotous society, sexual tendencies, hobbies, occupation, ANY- event, deem yourself un worth iest-cand idate-to-represent- THING. Just make it the hottest gadget you dare! ! country if you weren't present. The charity that will benefit is IMPact (the Independent The games commenced (only a tad late) with haskethall. Mobility Project making the différence between dépend- ent living and a life of independence for disabled stu- Oh wondrous sport for talented tali folk with little vest tops in dents) amongst others. More information and their waixlrobes!! The referee was adamant with his hand sig- sponsorship forms will be around soon. nais, but had vague memory lapses with regard to whistle blowing, which tended to make a few team members annoyed. (As ihey found that after trundiing up the court with the big Archery Club heavy ball and pulting it into the little basket, their points were disallowed.) mmm... This is the second time in two terms that the Stag HHill Archers are abusing the sports page of BF for their Weil, enough points were given io reach the final game, which, own nefarious purposes, and as I sii here listening to the mellow though entertaining, brought the bustling crowd to noi! ! I strains of Jamiroquai, I guess l'd better jolly well let y'all know ' whal's hangin' loose and full o* juiceü! A foul was fought over by roughly 50 people who ran on court to discuss the rules of basketball with aforementioned agonised Well, after the rather randomness of the EGM last Monday (and ref. (It never ceases to amaze me - the amount of interprétations for those of you who didn't attend, ritual de-'nading has been of the word "foul" in this game. Surely it's about time someone planned!) we've filled the two vacant slois wiih two rather wrote the rules down in easy-to-read manuals). Weil, the riot vacant people.. (only joshing chaps!). So l'd just like to smile was broken up by an announcement from the ref that the next sweetly at our new commiitee members and say a big hearty basket would win the game. SUCKERS!!! Welcome aboard Rob Bettinson (Pub & Ents hero, eider hound and ali round promiscuous slapper!) - he'll Then came volleyhnll. a delicious, though small filling in ihe lake care of ali the social bits, and as long as he continues to sports sandwich of the day. Due to earlier chaos, basketball suck helium as only he can, then we'Il have a rip-roaring-rol- overran ils time allocation by 90 minutes and therefore 11 lercoaster of a tiine! games of volleyball had to be played in mere minutes, five per game to be exact. Never before seen in volleyball hisiory, And salutes to Em Smith., (secretarial type bod - our pigeon miraculous I must say! The teams were picked with unusual hole will never be neglected again!). politicai friction but no battles developed, there wasn't time for any. Planned things? Well, let's see.... Sometiine trip lo Quicks (and it may actually happen too., so there!), a little compétition Although heckling was administered in the final, yet again with around week 7 or 8 (nice way to wind up for term 3) and as weil the ref. (now a woman who knew how to blow her whisüe, as Robz entz, a paintball massacre (its connected to archery imnmü) This time the dispute was not about the rules of the honest., well, it involves shooting at things and missing badly !). game (as they were clearly written down on the noticeboiu-d outside), bui the fact that the final had to be played in this Should things go well, weMl be getting in our new gear any time "most-poinls-wins-after-five-minutes fashion", fourminuies of now (God knows we need it!), and as soon as Manor Farm which were taken up with this very discussion. Henee Cyprus (Varsity Centre) ceases lo be a swamp, we'll be over there won and very innovative T-shirts you have too, chaps!! taking in lungfulls of gorgeous Surrey pollution and killing targels with gleeful abandon! Anyone interested in long curved Football was next on the agenda this lime 18 games were to be or pointy painful objects (or got helpful suggesüons) can get in played in about an hour and it was fun ail the way! Wiih touch with US via our Union pigeon hole (now full of purpose (surprisingly) no time to play full qualifier rounds, ihe perform- and meaning). Altematively, come along on Saturdays 12:30 ance of the teams was counted on points. Oh! anarchy in the ish'üll 2:30 ish.. hall... fires broke out in ihe hearts of the teams wounded by the loss (on points), but forever Willing to replay all the matches President of Vice again. In the 2 remaining minutes, I think not lads!! So the points system itwas. Windsurfing Club So here I must leave you with a few recommendations for future Inleniaiional Week Sports days. f you have your Grade RYAl Windsurfing there is finally a 1. Either book a whole ilay (henee tlie wording...Sports Day) Ichance lo go sailing at Queen Mary's Lake this Saturday 19lh February. Meet in the Union foyer at9am. For any more info contact William via the Windsurfing pigeon hole. 2. Play only one type of sport in the lime allocated (least prone 10 riot... voi ley ball) Also - there will be courses (to achieve your RYAl Windsur- fing) in the very near future. Please leave your name and 3. Or don'lboiher alali!!! number in the Windsurfing pigeon hole. Sandra Holmes Happy Sailing! iBare Coming soon... DOSH - Tightening t was always intended that DOSH card UAU TRAMPOLINE Iholders would be encouraged to use the Sports Facilides as much as possible, CHAMPIONSHIPS at Surrey whilst making sure diat the maximum they paid was kept in check. There is a problem diat has arisen, and which is currendy causing some embarrassment. Many people have been booking (par- ticularly) die Main Sports Hall for Five- a-Side Football, and then allowing nine others to play on that card. It was never intended that a lone DOSH card would enable a whole house, rési- dence, or department to play. We now have die technology to easily recognise DOSH card holders. Consequently, we would like to wani you diat from Monday February 21st 1994, the booking procé- dure will remain the same BUT when you tum up to use what has been booked, we will be asking all players who do not have a IX)SH card to pay die appropriate fee - 75p for each student or £2 for each mem- ber of staff for each session. We believe that this will maintain the "HELP" is needed on 12tli/13lh March weelcend when Surrey University is hosting advantage of buying the card whilst not the British Student Championships. Hundreds of students will be converging on allowing die card holders to subsidise Surrey for the open pracdce on Saturday evening (6.00 - 8.00 p.m.) and die Compé- those who have not previously been used tition Day on die Sunday from 9.00 a.m. - 5.00 p.m. to contribudng anything. It should go without saying that the ar- The event will be organised by our own University Trampoline Club, die Campusport rangements for Student Union Sports staff, the BriUsh Trampoline Fédération and the Universities Adiletic Union - with Club members using their allocated slot back up from St John's Ambulance! on die Recreadon Timetable will be com- pletely unaffected by this minor altéra- tion. If you would like to be involved - either as an officiai, marshall or sociali y to 'look after visiting students' - please leave a message in die Union Trampoline Pigeon Hole or widi Sally Edie at the C,ampuspon Cenu^e. Barry Hitchcock We're Fully Kitted! urrey University's own American times and places. Playing shirts need to We will have several matches during the SFootball team were awarded their be ordered very soon, therefore if you summer term if we can field the neces- budget for die year, from Finance, last would like an American Football shirt sary twenty players around exam times. week. This has enabled us to make in- from your University, whedier you are a So if you want to find out more, dien roads topurchasing the required pads and player or not, I will be taking orders at die please pop down to Stag Hill Pitches next helmets for die team to play matches, practice session next Wednesday at Wednesday and talk to Gus/Chris/Dave these should arrive soon. 2.30pm. about whatexacdy is happening. Hope to see you soon. We have got a match lined up for This Sunday will be a very important Let's Play Bail!!! Wednesday of Week 10 diis tenn, which practice session for all players. Please will mean a lot of practice before dien. tum up at 2.30pm. We have an ex- Chris Pye We might be having diree sessions a American footl«ill player coming along Surrey Sharks Coach week from week 7 onwards. Please check to coach us. the pigeon hole for further details of iBrinted 6y iMil^ i^ßmm - Wiian iBrinter