Module 4: Learning Table Manners and Table Settings

MODULE 4: LEARNING TABLE MANNERS AND TABLE SETTINGS

4.1 Table-seating arrangements

4.2 Table settings

4.3 Table manners

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4.1. Table-seating arrangements

Seating arrangements at official dinners and luncheons When organising a very formal event and entertaining dignitaries—such as government, military officials,or foreign diplomats—the host or hostess of an official luncheon or dinner seats the guests according to rank. Tradition- ally, the host and hostess sit at the head and foot of the table, respectively. When they are friends with a number of the guests, they may choose instead to sit opposite each other in the middle of the table, where it will be easier for them to converse with more people.

When both women and men are attending the event, seating works as fol- lows:

• The highest-ranked male guest sits to the right of the hostess.

• The man next in rank sits to the left of the hostess.

• The wife of the highest-ranking man sits to the left of the host. (If the man is unmarried, the highest-ranking woman takes this seat.)

• Spouses in attendance who don’t hold an official position are seated according to the rank of their husbands or wives.

• Guests who have no protocol ranking are seated according to the unspo-ken rank the host assigns to them. The host ranks guests as he chooses, basing his decision on age, social prominence, personal accomplish-ments, and mutual interests shared by seatmates. Proficiency in a foreign language also comes into play when foreigners are among the guests. Seating arrangements for informal dining When planning and organising informal gatherings, you might want to put people next to those they know, or you might want to split them up a little so that they can meet new people. There are many choices, and probably the

best advice is to use your common sense. Here some tips that can be helpful:

• People are more likely to get on well if they are similar ages or have simi-lar interests. It might not be a good idea to put the “alternative lifestyle” guest with the tattoos and piercings next to that 85-year-old lady.

• Avoid mixing age groups too much. Young children should be seated with their parents. Older children can be seated with their parents or at a table together.

• Generally, you should try to put families together. Put work colleagues together, too. But if you know people don’t get on, try to seat them at sepa-rate tables. It is worth breaking with tradition to have a stress-free event.

• Try to create balanced tables, with even numbers of males and females. In some cultures, it is traditional for guests to alternate: male, female, male, female. Some business dinners are seated male, male, female, female for variety.

• If a group of people know each other well, you could try splitting up mar-ried couples for extra variety.

• Try to avoid putting guests at the same table as expartners, unless you are sure this is OK. Remember that every room has four corners!

• Resist the temptation to have a “leftovers” table of all the people who don’t fit at the others. It is probably better to distribute such guests evenly. Table size, shape, and layout. Recommended space per guest You might want all the tables to be same size and shape, or you prefer to vary them. Find out what table sizes and shapes are available.The figures below give a rough idea of the venue size required for a given number of guests and the type of seating. Note that this doesn’t allow for dance floors and

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other unused space.

Example: a 10 metre by 10 metre room has an area of 100 metres squared and will hold an approximate maximum of 200 standing guests, 140 guests seated at rectangular tables, 100 guests seated at circular tables, and 176 guests seated in rows.

The spacing of circular tables A good number of seats for a circular table is 10. If you have more than this, not all the guests at a table will be able to see each other or converse. If you have less than this, you may have problems fitting all the tables into the venue. The figures below givesan idea of the number of guests that can be placed at a circular table:

Recommended circular table seating capacities based on 1.9 ft and 1.6 ftof circumference per guest for ideal and maximum respectively; guests in wheelchairs may need additional space.

Recommended minimum table spacing Make sure the tables are placed so that the serving staff has easy access. Don’t place a table blocking a door, especially a fire escape. If you have a large venue for the number of guests, you may want to put all the tables in one corner to avoid the venue feeling empty.The figures below give you an idea of the number of guests you can at a rectangular table:

Assigning seats If there will be speeches or announcements, try to place the speakers sothat they won’t have their back to anyone. Place pregnant, elderly, and disabled guests, as well as those with small children,in a location where they have easy access to toilets and other facilities. Don’t seat them at tables that will be removed to make space after the meal.Older guests will generally have poorer hearing and eyesight, so try to put them where they can see and hear any speeches. Don’t seat them next to loud music, as they are unlikely to appreciate it. Put children’s tables in the least favourable locations, they have better hearing and won’t be too interested in the speeches anyway.

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Assigning seats or tables Guests can be assigned to a table, where they can choose any seat, or they may be assigned to a specific seat. It seems that assigning tables is probably more common in the USA, and assigning seats is more common in Europe. Both approaches are valid. Which you choose is a matter of personal preference.

Seating charts, escort cards, table numbers, and place cards Guests will need to know at which table they are seated, so that they don’t have to walk around every table to find their place. This is usually achieved by displaying escort cards or a seating chart at the entrance to the venue.

Table number cards are placed on tables to display the number or name of the table. If you have a large number of tables, you might also want to display a floor plan to show where the tables are.

Place cards are placed at each setting to ensure that guests sit in the correct seats.If you have assigned guests to tables, you will need:

• seating chart + table number cards; or • escort cards + table number cards

If you have assigned guests to seats, you will need: • seating chart + table number cards + place cards; or • escort cards + table number cards + place cards These can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. More important is that you have a good table plan that seats the right people together.

Seating chart A seating chart shows each guest at which table he or she is seated. Whether you prefer a seating chart or escort cards is a matter of personal preference. Seating charts are easier to display and can also be signed by your guests and framed to make a nice memento of the occasion.The seating chart may either list guests by table, or alphabetically by name. Listing by guestname is more common in the USA and makes it a little easier to find your table, especially at large events. Listing by table is more common in the UK, and shows who else is at the same table.

A seating chart listing guests by table

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A seating chart listing guests y name

Escort cards Escort card show the number or name of the table at which a guest is seated. They are usually put inside a small envelope with the guest’s name written on the outside. You can also use a blank business card and write the name on one side and the table number on the other. Escort cards can be changed at the last minute, whereas a seating chart may need to be printed days or weeks in advance.Escort cards are normally placed on a table, in alphabetical order, at the entrance to the venue.

Table number cards Table number cards are placed on tables to display the name or number of that table. They should be large enough to read without having to walk right up to the table.The cards are usually large tent-fold cards, or flat cards in a holder. Make sure they aren’t so tall that they prevent guests seeing each other over the table.

Table name cards If you are feeling creative, you can give tables names instead of numbers. Numbered tables are less work and easier to find if they are laid out logically. Named tables can add a bit more atmosphere.

Place cards Place cards are placed at each place setting to ensure that guests sit in their designated seats. They are only required if you have assigned guests to seats (rather than tables). If you are using tent- fold cards, print the guest’s name on both sides, so that other guests on the table can read it.The names should usually be in the format “Mr. John Smith”, but you can also use “John Smith” or “Mr. J. Smith”, depending on the level of formality of the event.

4.2. Table settings

In the Module 4, chapter 4.5, we talked about different methods of serving food. In this chapter, we will focus more on seated meals.

Tableware arrangement.

Casual breakfast or lunch: The table setting should include a dinner fork, dinner knife, and teaspoon. Start with a dinner plate, soup bowl, bread & butter plate (for toast or muffins), butter knife, water tumbler, juice glass, and a cup and saucer for either coffee or tea. The napkin should be placed to the left of the fork.

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Dinner: Table setting should include a butter knife, salad fork, dinner fork, dinner knife, and teaspoon. Start with a dinner plate, water glass, napkin, and even a placemat for looks. The napkin should be placed to the left of the forks.

Banquet or brunch: Table setting should include salad forks, dinner forks, dinner knives, and teaspoons. Start with dinner plates, napkins, water glasses, salad bowls, vegetable bowls, and candles for appearance. Napkins should be placed on top of the salad plate.

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Formal Dinners: The table setting should include a butter knife, salad fork, dinner fork, dinner knife, soupspoon, and teaspoon. Start with a dinner plate, napkin, water glass, wine glass, soup bowl, and a bread & butter plate. The napkin should be placed to the left of the forks. The butter spreader may be placed on top of the bread & butter plate. A dessertspoon and dessert fork may be placed above the dinner plate.

European: The table setting should include a butter knife, dinner fork, fish fork, fish knife, dinner knife, soupspoon, and teaspoon. Start with a bread & butter plate, salad plate, water glass, red and white wine glasses, a champagne glass, and a napkin, which should be folded and placed on top of the salad plate. A - Dinner fork B - Dinner Knife C - Teaspoon D - Butter knife E - Salad fork F - Soup spoon G - Fish fork H - Fish knife I Dessert spoon J Dessert fork

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A European-style setting is especially intended for formal occasions. Europe-an-sized tableware is generally larger and heavier that traditional American tableware. Depending on the meal that will be served at the event, the tableware should be presented in the appropriate way. Using the cutlery at a formal dinner is actually quite simple. The first thing is to know is that table cutlery has a specific order. The ones that are fartheraway from the plate are to be used first. The rest follow the same order.

FORKS

• Salad fork: Salad forks are relatively large and are usually the starting fork. They have large prongs to pierce leaves. The fork does not come with a salad knife. • Oyster fork: This is a small fork with two or three prongs and a small handle. Oyster forks come paired with small oyster knives, which have a short, sharp blade and a thick handle, for in-shell oysters. • Dessert fork: These resemble salad forks. • Cold meat fork: These can be used for cuts of meat, cheeses, waffles, chops, and sliced vegetables. • Two-pronged (two-tine) butter picks: They are usuallyused for lifting and serving butter from a butter pat. • Fish serving fork: These are used for lifting, holding, and serving fish. • Sandwich fork: These are used for serving finger sandwiches. • Sugar tongs: These are for pickingup sugar cubes.

SPOONS

• Teaspoon: Ideal for coffee, tea, desserts, cereal, and soups.

• Tablespoon: This is used for serving vegetables. Although tablespoons have a shape similar to teaspoons, they are larger and are used in the serving bowls at the centre of the table or buffet.

• Fruit spoon: The size of this spoon is that of a regular spoon. Its bowl is slightly pointed and some have jagged edges. They are great for cutting into and eating grapefruits, oranges, and halved melons.

• Rice or potato spoon, serving spoons with large bowls. Usually rice and potatoes are served in large quantities, so these spoons are bigger.

• Gumbo spoon: A gumbo spoon is used for thick soups with large pieces of meat and vegetables. Like bouillon and cream soupspoons, they generally have round shallow bowls.

• Bouillon spoon: For eating soup made from thin broth. This spoon is usually small in size and has a rounded shallow bowl. Five o’clock spoons:Smaller than a teaspoon, and used for gatherings before dinner, like brunch or afternoon tea.

• Coffee spoon: This oval-shaped utensil is the smallest spoon available, and is found in almost every kitchen. It is used for serving sugar and stir- ring the coffee.

• Soupspoon: Usually the biggest spoon on the table. This is rather easy to identify, being deep and round to hold a large amount of soup.

• Gravy spoon: A large spoon used to serve food, especially liquids such as gravy, and vegetables.

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KNIVES

• Butter knife: As the name suggests, this type of knife is used to serve portions of butter.

• Dessert knife: Dessert knives may be large or small sizes. The smaller ones are used for individual desserts, and their blades are curved and not too sharp. Larger dessert knives are diamond-shaped flat knives with a wide blade that are used for cutting slices of cakes, pies, etc.

• Fruit knife: Used in addition to the fruit spoonfor cutting oranges, grapefruits, and other citrus fruits.

• Bread knife: This knife is perfect for slicing through a thick loaf of bread. It is flat and sharp. It is usually very sturdy and stays sharp for many years.

• Fillet knife: This knife is thin and has an extra-sharp blade. It is used for cutting delicate pieces of meat or fish with smooth, rapid strokes.

• Carving knife: This is the largest knife and is generally too big for use on most occasions. It can be used for carving turkey, cutting roast ham, and so on.

• Cleaver: This type of knife has a very thick blade and a heavy handle for stability. The blade is used for chopping meat, but can also be used for pounding items. There is usually a small hole near the end of the blade for hanging the knife.

• Chef’s knife: Also referred to as a French knife,this type is used for chopping and slicing with a curved blade that moves forward and back, al- lowing rapid cutting.

• Fish knife: A tabletop fish knife is usually small and not too sharp. It is used for separating the layers of fish and removing bones.

• Boning blade: Narrow and curved to simplifies cutting around bones. It is typically used to separate meat, poultry, and fish from the bone.

• Cake knife: These are large serving pieces for cutting cake.

• Cheese knife: These are used for cutting and serving cheese slices.

• Dinner knife: Among the most versatile of utensils. Also useful for serving butter and spreading condiments. Glasses and containers There are various types of glassware of different shapes and sizes, each serving its own purpose. Ensure all glassware has been cleaned spotlessly prior to serving.

• Beer mug: The traditional beer container. Typical size: 16 oz.

• Brandy snifter: The shape of this glass concentrates the nose of the alcoholic to the top of the glass as your hands warm the brandy.

• Champagne flute: This tulip-shaped glass is designed to show off the dancing bubbles of the wine as they brush against the side of the glass and spread out into a sparkling mousse.

• Cocktail glass: This glass has a conical bowl design and a long stem, and is used for a wide range of straight-up (no-ice) cocktails, including martinis, manhattans, metropolitans, and gimlets. Also known as a martini glass.

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• Coffee mug: The traditional mug used for hot coffee.

• Collins glass: Shaped similarly to a highball glass, only taller, the Collins glass was originally used for the line of Collins gin drinks, and is now com-monly used for soft drinks, alcoholic juice, and tropical or exotic cocktails, such as Mai Tais.

• Cordial glass: Small, stemmed glasses used for serving small portions of your favourite liquors at times such as after a meal.

• Highball glass: A straight-sided glass, often an elegant way to serve many types of mixed drinks, such as those served on the rocks, shots, and mixer-combined liquor drinks (i.e., gin and tonic).

• Hurricane glass: A tall, elegantly cut glass named after its hurricane-lamp shape, used for exotic/tropical drinks.

• Margarita glass: This slightly larger and more rounded cocktail glass has a broadrim for holding salt, ideal for margaritas. It is also used for daiquiris and other fruit drinks.

• Mason jar: These large square containers are effective at keeping their contents sealed in an airtight environment. They’re designed for home canning, where they are used for preserves and jam, amongst other things.

• Old-fashioned glass: A short, round glass for cocktails or liquor served on the rocks or “with a splash”.

• Parfait glass: This glass has an inward curve similar to a hurricane glass, but with a steeper outward rim and a larger, more rounded bowl. It is often used for drinks containing fruit or ice cream.

• Pousse-café glass: A narrow glass used for pousse-cafés and other layered dessert drinks. Its shape makes it easier to layer-ing ingredients.

• Red wine glass: A clear, thin, stemmed glass with a round bowl tapering inward at the rim.

• Sherry glass: The preferred glass for aperitifs, port, and sherry.

• Shot glass: A small glass suitable for vodka, whiskey and other liquors. Many shot-style mixed drinks also call for shot glasses.

• Whiskey sour glass: A stemmed, wide-opening glass.

• White wine glass: A clear, thin, stemmed glass with an elongated oval bowl tapering inward at the rim.

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4.3. Table manners

At the first sight, you mightn’t expect this section to tell you anything you don’t already know. We’ve all heard many times as children to“sit up straight!” and “use your knife and fork!”. Yet table manners differ greatly in different countries. Behaviour that is considered good manners in one country can be read as a total lack of manners in another. Therefore, when dealing with clients from around the world, you should be aware of these differences and always be flexible and ready to behaviour appropriately to each situation. This will also help you to understand your partners’ behaviour at the table.

Some dinner parties are formal, with place cards to show you where the host or hostess wants you to sit. If not, ask whether there are seating prefer-ences. Wait until the host sits before you do. In some cultures, a blessing will be said. Even if you don’t follow the beliefs of the prayer, show respect and remain silent. If the host offers a toast, lift your glass. It is not necessary to “clink” someone else’s glass. If you are eating out, you should wait until all members of your group have been served before picking up your fork. At a private dinner, observe the host or hostess and pick up your fork when he or she does. However, if you are at a buffet, you may start as soon as others are seated at your table.

General cutlery etiquette In most situations, following the “outside-in” rule will tell you which knife, fork, or spoon to use for each course:use the utensils on the outside first and work your way inward with each new course that is served.

Continental versus American style (for right-handed diners)

Continental Style. Hold the fork like a pencil in your right hand, with the shank extended between your thumb, index, and middle fingers. Your ring and little fingers rest in your hand. For leverage, the index finger is extended along the back of the fork, as far from the tines as possible. Hold the knife with it handle cupped in the palm of your left hand, along with your middle,

ring, and little fingers. Place your index finger on the back of the blade. Hold your thumb against the side of the handle.

American Style. Hold the fork in your left hand, tines downward. Hold the knife in your right hand an inch or two above the plate. Extend your index finger along the top of the blade. Use your fork to spear and lift food to your mouth. If your knife is not needed, it remains on the table.

Soup spoon etiquette A soup spoon has an oval or round bowl to accommodate soup. An oval bowlmakes it easy to eat pieces of food from soup using the tip. The bowl of a round soupspoon has a curved edge, which allows clear or pureed soup to be sipped from the side.

Fish knife and fork etiquette A fish knife is used to separate the soft flesh of the fish from the body, rather than to cut a bite. The tip of the blade is used to fillet fish, lift the skeleton from the body, and ferret out small bones. Table manners require that the fish fork is held in the left hand and used in the traditional way.

Dessert fork and spoon etiquette Using two utensils for dessert makes it easier to manipulate. In formal dining, two utensils are used for the appetizer course, the main course, the salad course, the dessert course, and the fruit course.

Teaspoon etiquette Proper table manners require that a soiled utensil not be laid on the table after use. Thus, in drinking an iced beverage, the teaspoonis held in the glass against the rim with the index finger (where it remains until the glass is removed from the table).

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Chopsticks Due to cultural differences, there is no single rule for handling chopsticks. The correct method in Japan might not be appropriate etiquette in Korea or China. With that said, we present the general etiquette for chopsticks.

Universal chopstick etiquette:

Do not use chopsticks to make noise, draw attention, or gesture. • Do not use chopsticks to move plates or bowls around. • Generally, do not use chopsticks to impale food. • Do not leave chopsticks standing vertically in a bowl of rice or other food.

Napkin etiquette • Wait for the host or hostess to take the napkin from the table and place it on his or her lap. An exception to this rule is at buffet-style meals, where you should unfold your napkin when you start eating.

• Unfold your napkin in one smooth motion without “snapping” or “shak- ing” it open. The size determines how you unfold a napkin in your lap. The large napkins provided at more formal dinners are unfolded halfway. Smaller napkins are unfolded completely and cover the lap fully.

• Don’t tuck a napkin into your collar, between the buttons of your shirt, or into your belt. When messy finger food is served, before tucking the nap-kin under the chin or tying it around the neck, follow the lead of the host.

• Use your napkin frequently during the meal to blot or pat (not wipe) your lips. Blot your lips before taking a drink of your beverage— especially if you’re a woman wearing lipstick.

• After positioning your napkin, place the napkin ring (if there is one) to the top-left of the setting. At the end of the meal, grasp the napkin in the centre, pull it through the ring, and lay it on the table with the point facing the centre of the table.

• When leaving the table temporarily, put your napkin on your chair. If the chair is upholstered, place the napkin soiled side up.

• The napkin is loosely folded at the end of the meal. If there is a plate in the centre of your setting, then when you leave the table,lay the napkin to the left of the plate. If the centre of your place setting is empty, the napkin is laid in the middle. In either case, leave the napkin in loose folds to keep the soiled parts hidden.

• If after-dinner coffee is served at the table, the napkin remains in the lap.

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Passing food to other diners • Food should be passed to the right—but the crucial point is really that it moves in only one direction. • Either hold the dish as the next diner takes some food, or handthe dish to the next person, who then serves himself or herself. • Any heavy or awkward dishes are placed on the table after being passed. • Cream pitchers and other dishes with handles should be passed with the handle toward the person receiving them. • If a platter for sharing is present, it is passed around the table, with each diner holding it as the next person serves himself or herself using only the serving utensils provided. Pass salt and pepper • In America, always pass the salt and pepper together. If a person asks for just one, pass both anyway. In France, if you are asked for the salt, you simply pass the salt. • Some hosts prefer to use saltcellars, which saltshakers have largely re- placed. • If there is no spoon in the saltcellar, use the tip of a clean knife to take some salt. • If the saltcellar is for you alone, you may either use the tip of your knife or take a pinch with your fingers. • If a saltcellar is to be shared with others, never use your fingers or a knife that is not clean. • Salt that you have taken from the saltcellar should be placed on the bread-and-butter plate or on the rim of whatever plate is before you.

Bread and butter etiquette Bread is most often placed in a shared basket on the table. • If the bread is placed in front of you, feel free to pick up the basket and offer it to the person on your right. • If the loaf is uncut, cut off a few slices, offer them to the person to your left, and then pass the basket to your right. • Do not touch the loaf with your fingers; instead,use the cloth in the breadbasket as a buffer for steadying the bread as you slice it. • Place the bread and butter on your butter plate (yours is on your left), and break off a bite-sized piece of bread, put a little butter on it, and eat it. • Don’t butter the whole piece of bread and then take bites from it. • Don’t hold your bread in one hand and a drink in the other. • Don’t take the last piece of bread without first offering it to others. • If olive oil is served with bread, dip bite-sized pieces of bread into the oil and eat.

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Temporary placement during conversation and finishing with a course. Continental Style: The fork is laid on the side of the plate with its tines down-ward and the handle in the eight o’clock position. The knife handle is laid at the four o’clock position.If space permits, the tines are rested over the blade of the knife

American Style: The knife is placed at a slight diagonal on the top right side of the plate. • When each course is finished: • Place the knife and fork parallel with handles in the four o’clock position on theright rim of the plate; • The tips rest in the well of the plate towards the ten o’clock position; • The blade of your knife should face inward; • The fork tines may be either up or down. Cultural differences in table manners We teach our children to eat quietly, use utensils, and finish everything on their plate. However, in some other cultures, these mealtime behaviours may be considered rude. In some places, burping and slurping are perfectly acceptable, and cleaning your plate is an insult. What we think of as good manners in our culture may not be so in another.

Europe European meals tend to last much longer than those in America. Children from Europe are used to this, but Americans might be better off leaving chil-dren behind, unless they can sit patiently for a long while. There is another significant difference, this time between the continental European and the British way of behaving at the dinner table. In France,it is absolutely neces-sary to put your hands and forearms (but never the elbows) on the table. In the UK, diners typically sit with one hand on the table and the other on their lap, or even with both hands under the table.

Middle East In many Muslim cultures, people eat only with their right hand. The left hand is traditionally used for personal hygiene and is considered unclean. Also, if

99 you happen to drop bread on the ground, pick it up, kiss it, and raise it to your forehead before putting it back on your plate. This shows respect for your food and the work that went into making it.

Africa The people of Ethiopia have a tradition of hand-feeding each other called gursha. It’s a gesture of hospitality that builds trust and social bonds between those sharing the food.

East and South Asia In Japan and China, slurping on your noodles shows appreciation for the meal. The host takes the noise as a compliment. Placing chopsticks upright in your bowl of rice at the end of the meal is a faux pas (as this is how food is offered to the spirit of a dead person). Instead, place them on your plate or use the chopstick rest.

Finishing everything on your plate is a no-no in many Asian countries, as it suggests that your hosts didn’t feed you enough. They’ll keep refilling it, and if they run out, they’ll be upset that they didn’t have enough food for you. Leaving a small amount on your plate symbolizes that you’ve had your fill and also acknowledges your host’s generosity. And don’t refill your own glass, even if you’re thirsty. Fill someone else’s cup and wait for her to reciprocate.

Among some indigenous people of China and Taiwan, a light burp at the end of a meal is considered a compliment, as it indicates that you have eaten well. Tipping the waiter at a restaurant in Japan is an insult, as it implies that he’s not making enough money and is to be treated as a menial.

In India, food is deemed contaminated once it touches your plate, so you shouldn’t offer it to anyone, even your spouse. Before the meal, you’re ex- pected to wash your hands and mouth. Licking your fingers shows your host how much you enjoyed the food. Don’t say “Thank you” to your host at the end of the meal, as it may be considered a form of payment. Simply return the favour by inviting him or her to dinner.

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