$3 Troubled Souls Unite, We Got Ourselves Tonight $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com nbcchicago.com/madhouseenforcer January 25th, 2011 [email protected] GANG FIGHTS, FATAL STRIKES Were you expecting Axl here? We doesn’t win it clean he gives up. Bolland could this season, and they are the discovery that didn’t think it was as bad as some around here at least try and tie up opposing centermen Brent Burns and old savior Martin Havlat are in would have you believe. First, the Flyers are more often and give his wingers a chance to fact not dead. Burns has always showed flash- the best team we’ve seen come into the United help out. This is something the Hawks should es of being a quality player -- he put up 43 Center this season, and by a measurable work on heavily after the break, just as they points in ‘07-’08 -- but surrounded it by be- margin. There are no holes there. That said, have the kill. What we do know is that ing a total clod in his own end or being jerked the Hawks (who were not “flat” as they were having Tomas Kopecky take a draw isn’t an around and skated at forward by his coaches. described by every reporter, and for the love of answer, even if it’s a drugged up koala facing Now that he’s been left alone on the blue line God could these people find a different word?) the wrong way on the other side. Actually, all and allowed to be aggressive, the Wild are adjusted to an unforseen trap by Philly in the koala’s are drugged up due to large intake of seeing the dividends. He’s also headed to the 1st, and created a few chances against the eucalyptus leaves (total myth, but funny as all All-Star game. league’s deepest group of defensemen. Sadly, hell), but you get the idea. You already know the story with through a combination of not getting bodies in Hey Babe, Take A Shot On The Wild Havlat. He was ineffective last year because front of Sergei Bobrovsky and a hard-on to try Tonight’s opponent is a mild surprise of some injuries and general malaise that and blister one through his intestines. When in the Western Conference, the Minnesota surrounded the Wild. Their fans mistook that the 2nd rolled around, the Flyers aggressive- Wild. They’re 7-4 this month, and this is the for not caring and softness. With total health ness kicked in, and the Hawks patience with last game of a five-game road trip. A couple and the right linemates, Havlat has showcased the puck ran out. They were often too cute of highlights for them on this swing was two the stuff that made us joke about him being a at the Flyers’ blue line (though not as cute as shutouts of and Vancouver on the religious figure. He’s the Wild’s leading scorer calling an end-around on 3rd down on the fi- road, sandwiching a tonking of the Oilers in and has put up some highlight reel goals this nal drive. You need a timeout to come up with Edmonton (though that’s in the “candy from a season. He is the main threat tonight for sure. that, Throbbing Brain Martz?), turning the puck dead baby” category). But we can’t buy the Wild as a serious over and sending play the other way instead The Wild have vaulted themselves threat long term. They average getting outshot of keeping with the get-it-deep-and-go-get- into the playoff picture, though we -- and Wild by seven per game. Their aged goalies in it plan. The Flyers did pile up 19 shots in the fans for the most part -- are not convinced it Niklas Backstrom and Jose Theodore both have period, but they came in a set of flurries rather is for the long haul. They sit merely two points save-percentages over .915, and only Back- than sustained pressure throughout the 20. It out of eighth. They boast a pretty decent 13- strom can be counted on to keep that up, but was still a one- game. Sadly, a mistake by 8-2 record on the road, but are merely .500 at he can’t be counted on to stay healthy. While , who’s been mostly mistake- home, which they’ll have to improve if they’re coach Todd Richards has employed this up- free all season, let the Flyers in for a second tempo system, it does call for some reliable serious about this playing in late April thing. continued on page 2 and that was about that. There are two big stories on the Wild Still, that was only the Hawks second loss in regulation in the last nine, and no one’s going to complain about that pace. As we thought might happen, the Hawks game is slowly kicking into gear, and one facet might be some continuity with Coach Quenneville not hitting the Line Slot Machine in the past ten minutes. Either way, it’s imperative the Hawks head into the break with another two points tonight. A win would separate the Hawks from the Wild, who are 10th in the Conference, by five points, and that’s a solid cushion for now. I Want To Win A Face...Off One glaring problem the Hawks do have, which has been exposed like Britney Spears’s treasure the past two games, is fa- ceoffs. It’s hard to be a puck possession team if you have to constantly chase it down. They may not have the personnel to be as good as they were at the dot last year, as John Madden is gone and Patrick Sharp hasn’t showed the effectiveness he once did. Jake Dowell had a nice streak, but that’s gone away recently, and simply can’t take every draw. Dave Bolland has always been a disaster in the circle, and doesn’t seem to change tactics. Watch him, he’ll take one swipe and if he “Well, I guess it could be worse.” From The Editor One of the reasons I decided to do this for the most part, don’t like Jay Cutler. I get it, I’m back in 2008 was that I thought being a part of the sure if I met him in person I’d think he was a total Hawks fandom was one of the cooler things to be in twat. That makes him have something in common . This week has only confirmed that. with about 75% percent of the world, and that’s prob- VOL. III, Issue #29 I have found the aftermath of the Bears ably being a little generous. I only judge athletes by playoff loss on Sunday about as sad as this city what I see on the field. The rest? Couldn’t care less. has ever produced. I know Chicago has a higher- I don’t go hang out at the places they hang out, can’t than-normal meatball quotient than other towns. I afford to eat where they eat, and I don’t a rapport The Committed Indian accepted that long ago. I know the Bears collection with them to do my job. Athletes like Cutler get a Established Oct. 31st, 2008 of fans probably exhibit this the worst. I don’t know rough ride from the media because he makes their www.secondcityhockey.com when this has started, maybe it’s gone on my whole job harder, and they can be a vindicitve bunch. It www.twitter.com/2ndcityhockey life. I know it wasn’t helped by being glorified on would be better if he were a good quote who opened Saturday Night Live by the “Superfans” sketch, even up, but he’s not. And that doesn’t matter. though that was making fun of all them. Suddenly it Look, I bet if I met most of the Hawks Publisher & Editor-In-Chief became fashionable to worship Ditka and be fat and in person, I wouldn’t like most of them. I know I Sam “T-Pain” Fels have creepy mustaches. I am a Bears fan, but much wouldn’t like , based on stories I’ve like the rest of the country, one is punished in that heard from friends who have had encouters with him. union for using your brain. Without going into detail, he just strikes me as an Columnists This is not a football publication, so I won’t arrogant ass in person, who could be carrying any Chris Block get into the minutiae of what happened and who’s number of STD’s. And I just don’t care. I only get The Fifth Feather tough and who’s not (but if Viktor angry with Kaner when I think his Stalberg were half as tough as Jay dedication to the game is not there. Cutler, he’d score 30 goals), but If Kane gives everything he has on Second City Hockey.com something will happen this summer the ice, he can do whatever he wants Matt McClure that could only happen with the and act however he feels off it. It Matthew Killion Bears. The dumbass quotient of doesn’t matter to me. But because their fandom very well may run Jay he gives a good quote to the press, Adam Hacker Cutler out of town. And that’s the he gets a free pass. only team I could conceive of that Contributors happening with. Sure, the Hawks -Anyway, there’s more impor- Rich Lindbloom have their share of morons amongst tant stuff to get to here. I want to Emerald Gao their followers (they mostly write Sam Fels take this space to tell you about an this thing), but I can’t imagine event we at Second City Hockey. Jeff Bartl the howls and cries of the lowest com are having on February Jake Berlin common demoninator depriving every other fan of 12th. Chicago Pucks Cancer is a roadwatch/char- a valuable piece on the field of play. I know some ity event we’re hosting at the Bottom Lounge (for will never warm up to Brian Campbell because of his now) sponsored by Chicks Who Give A Puck.com. Ombudsman paycheck (though it’s no longer the biggest on the to benefit the Young Survival Coalition, the only Adam Fels team, mind) or Marian Hossa because he’s European one that advocates for young women against breast and once played for the Wings. But Hawks fans cancer. They’re going to have tons of memorabilia Marketing Dept. aren’t so stupid to keep hounding them, the press that to be raffled off, as well as hopefully some food and covers the Hawks aren’t so blind to cover them in drink specials to chip in as well. It’ll be $5 to get Nadyja Von Ebers such an obtuse way that we would lose a player who in and will start at 6pm, an hour before the Hawks Meghan McClure can genuinely help us win a title. take on the Coyotes. If you’ve ever thought about Look, I’ve explained in-depth my problems coming to a roadwatch, or even considered maybe Rights & Permissions: with the bottom portion of the braindead that inhabit thinking about it, please come to this one. They’re all of our cities’ teams. I’m a die-hard Cubs fan too, tons of fun, and now we can all have a few and throw All material printed herein is and I think I hate every single other Cubs fan. Maybe things at each other for a cause. Please check in at copyrighted and protected. Do all cities are like this, I don’t know. But I know Second City Hockey for any changes, as well as not reprint without expressed, Hawks fans have the least percentage of them, or at Chicago Pucks Cancer’s twitter feed (twitter.com/ written permission from least that’s what I tell myself. ChiPucksCancer) and their Facebook page. We’ll be While I’m on the subject, I don’t get the promoting this for the next two weeks, and we really Committed Indian Publishing. need to like your athletes. I pretty much ask that they hope to see you there. not be a felon, and that’s about it. I know people, Logos & Photos Team logos and pictures used continued from page 1 who has already topped his career high in goals stay-at-home d-men, right now some of those are with 14, most of them coming from crashing the herein are the property of the currently a bunch of kids with names like Spurgeon net and/or causing a ruckus on the forecheck and individual teams and/or the NHL and Stoner (a great law firm, or pot comedy). Also, benefitting from the turnovers. and are used solely for identifica- is showing the worst of his repetoire The Hawks have to keep to their disci- these days. plined ways tonight, too. With Havlat on song and tion and editorial purposes. But at least the Wild are far more enter- Matt Cullen from the , the Wild can certainly taining these days. This is not the cure-for-coma hurt you with the man-advantage. Still, this is a outfit that Jacque Lemaire kept bringing in here team that’s on its last game of a road trip and be- and making you wonder why you just didn’t go to a fore the All-Star break, the bus might be running, movie instead of watching this crap. The Wild send Even if it isn’t, the two points should be grabbed. everyone they can, and forecheck pretty furiously. Just too many kids on the blue line that can be One beneficiary of that has been Cal Clutterbuck, exposed. -Eddie Valiant NHL STANDINGS

Eastern Conference Western Conference GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Philadelphia 49 32 12 5 69 169 128 15-7-2 17-5-3 Vancouver 49 30 10 9 69 163 120 16-3-5 14-7-4 Tampa Bay 50 30 15 5 65 152 154 15-4-2 15-11-3 Scum 48 29 13 6 64 163 142 14-6-4 15-7-2 Boston 49 27 15 7 61 150 111 12-9-3 15-6-4 Dallas 49 29 15 5 63 144 136 15-6-4 14-9-1 Pittsburgh 49 30 15 4 64 153 114 16-9-1 14-6-3 Nashville 49 27 16 6 60 133 117 11-4-5 16-12-1 Washington 50 27 14 9 63 140 128 16-5-6 11-9-3 Anaheim 51 27 20 4 58 137 144 17-7-1 10-13-3 NY Rangers 51 29 19 3 61 145 122 12-10-2 17-9-1 Phoenix 49 24 16 9 57 141 139 10-8-5 14-8-4 Montreal 49 27 17 5 59 128 118 16-6-4 11-11-1 HAWKS 49 26 19 4 56 155 135 16-12-0 10-7-4 Atlanta 51 23 19 9 55 151 166 11-9-5 12-10-4 Colorado 49 25 18 6 56 159 160 14-10-3 11-8-3 Carolina 49 24 19 6 54 149 153 13-8-2 11-11-4 San Jose 49 25 19 5 55 137 135 12-10-3 13-9-2 Buffalo 48 22 21 5 49 134 142 11-12-1 11-9-4 Minnesota 48 24 19 5 53 126 132 11-11-2 13-8-3 Florida 47 21 21 5 47 126 126 11-8-5 10-13-0 L.A. Kings 49 26 22 1 53 140 122 16-9-1 10-13-0 Toronto 48 19 24 5 43 124 151 10-11-4 9-13-1 Calgary 50 23 21 6 52 140 151 13-9-1 10-12-5 Ottawa 49 17 25 7 41 106 157 9-14-3 8-11-4 Columbus 48 23 20 5 51 128 149 12-10-1 11-10-4 Islanders 47 15 25 7 37 117 157 8-11-4 7-14-3 St. Louis 48 22 19 7 51 129 142 15-8-3 7-11-4 New Jersey 48 16 29 3 35 100 143 9-13-2 7-16-1 Edmonton 47 14 25 8 36 117 162 7-13-4 7-12-4

TOP 10 LISTS PUCK DROP Top 10 Things The Hawks Will Be Doing Over The All- Look-A-Likes Star Break 10. Tomas Kopecky - Whatever Marian says. 9. Marian Hossa - Hoping nothing else falls off. 8. - Not going back to training camp like he should. 7. Patrick Kane - (You can do your own version of this joke) 6. Jonathan Toews - Hopefully, absolutely nothing. 5. Viktor Stalberg - Buying Coach Q cigars, scotch, clean his car, whatever it takes. 4. - Buying Coach Q one more of each of whatever Stal- berg gets him. Dopey Pierre-Marc 3. Nick Boynton - Searching everywhere for a clue. Bouchard 2. Dave Bolland - Hunting down the editors of The Committed Indian to shove it up their ass. One is a pansy-runt of the group. The 1. Corey Crawford - Finding tux for NHL Awards ceremony. other hangs out with Snow White. But Dopey probably has of a less brown brain. 26-19-4

Sunday was a little better than Saturday, which was a little better than before. We just keep hoping the little will get more and more....

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary/Cap Hit 10 L The Sharp-Shooter "A" 6' 1" 199 28 48 25 20 45 -9 22 10 2 6 187 13.4 4M/3.9M 19 C Marvel "C" 6' 2" 210 21 47 17 21 38 8 14 7 0 3 143 11.9 6.3M/6.3M 88 R Humpty Hump 5' 10" 178 21 40 13 23 36 -7 12 4 0 2 124 10.5 6.3M/6.3M 82 C Tomas Kopecky 6' 3" 203 28 48 10 21 31 -6 42 3 0 1 112 8.9 1.2M/1.2M 2 D The Flash "A" 6' 1" 196 26 49 3 25 28 -2 18 0 1 1 99 3 5.5M/5.5M 22 R Lowen-Brouw 6' 2" 214 24 49 14 13 27 2 20 5 0 4 82 17.1 1.0M/1.0M 81 R Hossbollah 6' 1" 210 31 34 11 16 27 7 16 3 0 1 102 10.8 7.9M/5.2M 7 D 6' 3" 218 24 49 3 23 26 -3 28 2 0 0 72 4.2 3.5M/3.5M 29 L Bryan Bickell 6' 4" 223 24 46 12 14 26 12 32 2 0 1 72 16.7 500K/500K 36 C Fabulous Weapon 6' 0" 181 23 42 10 13 23 7 28 4 0 0 71 14.1 3.3M/3.3M 51 D 51 Phantom 6' 0" 189 31 36 2 15 17 22 4 0 0 0 47 4.3 7.1M/7.1M 20 R Jack Skille 6' 1" 215 23 45 7 9 16 4 23 1 0 1 115 6.1 600K/600K 28 C Jake Dowell 6' 0" 195 25 47 5 11 16 9 52 0 0 0 50 10 525k/525k 25 L Vik Rattlehead 6' 3" 210 24 45 7 8 15 -1 18 0 0 2 80 8.8 850k/850K 15 L Fernando Pisani 6' 1" 205 33 39 7 6 13 4 8 1 0 1 47 14.9 500K/500K 5 D Jassen Cullimore 6' 5" 235 37 36 0 8 8 4 8 0 0 0 22 0 500K/478K 4 D Hammer 6' 3" 205 22 47 2 4 6 6 23 0 0 0 39 5.1 3.5M/3.5M 24 D Can't 6' 1" 218 31 37 0 6 6 2 34 0 0 0 38 0 500K/500K 6 D Jordan Hendry 6' 0" 197 26 28 1 0 1 -1 4 0 0 0 31 3.2 525k/525k 8 D 5' 11" 179 19 13 1 0 1 -2 0 0 0 0 12 8.3 900K/630K 32 D John Scott 6' 8" 258 28 32 0 1 1 -2 45 0 0 0 14 0 512K/512K 17 C Ryan Johnson 6' 1" 199 34 7 0 0 0 -4 0 0 0 0 4 0 500K/309K

Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 206.2 26.5 3.10/g +12 9.8/g 42 3 32.3/g 9.6%

It looked like an awfully difficult exam this weekend for Leddy, but we’ll say he passed, and was actually pretty

If Toews has even the slightest nick anywhere, and it sure looks like he does, than looks like Toews has even the slightest nick anywhere, and it sure If or McDonough have NHL he needs to sit out All-Star weekend, no matter what the to say. good against Philly. But they were trapping, and it was for less than 10 minutes. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI GS Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary/Cap Hit 50 Corey Crawford 6' 2" 200 25 27 25 1587 2.12 16 9 2 2 721 56 .922 0 0 0 850K/800K 30 Marty Turco 5' 11" 185 35 25 24 1373 3.02 10 10 2 1 675 69 .898 0 0 6 1.5M/1.5M Totals/Averages 6'1" 193 30 2.71 26 19 4 3 28.7/g 133 .910 0 0 0 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $56,274,928 CAP SPACE: $540,590*

*space also affected by buyouts and injured players Injury List Minnehaha bear/wolf thing 24-19-5 Already a career high. Anything to do with skating with a revitalized Marty?

# Pos Player HT WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary/Cap Hit Oh Cameron, you don’t have to try this hard to make us 24 R Martin Havlat 6' 2" 217 28 48 13 30 43 1 28 2 0 4 143 9.1 5.0M/5.0M feel better about dealing a 23-year old d-man. 9 C "C" 6' 2" 200 26 48 14 28 42 4 32 6 1 3 126 11.1 3.7M/3.2M 8 D Brent Burns 6' 5" 219 24 46 14 17 31 -6 62 6 0 3 83 16.9 3.8M/3.5M 7 C Matt Cullen 6' 1" 200 34 45 10 20 30 0 16 4 3 1 96 10.4 3.5M/3.5M 15 L Andrew Brunette 6' 1" 210 36 48 12 15 27 -7 12 7 0 3 61 19.7 2.5M/2.3M 20 R Antti Miettinen 6' 0" 190 29 39 8 14 22 -8 18 4 0 1 99 8.1 2.5M/2.3M 22 R Cal Clutterbuck 5' 11" 213 21 47 14 8 22 5 30 3 0 3 117 12 1.0M/1.4M 3 D Marek Zidlicky 5' 11" 190 32 30 4 16 20 0 22 2 0 0 38 10.5 4.0M/4.0M 21 C Kyle Brodziak 6' 2" 209 25 48 9 9 18 4 30 1 0 0 69 13 1.1M/1.1M 11 C John Madden 5' 11" 190 37 46 7 8 15 -8 6 1 0 2 64 10.9 1.0M/1.2M 96 C Pierre-Marc Bouchard 5' 10" 173 25 25 3 11 14 0 4 0 0 0 39 7.7 4.2M/4.0M 55 D Nick Schultz 6' 1" 200 27 45 3 10 13 0 30 0 0 0 27 11.1 3.4M/3.5M 12 R Chuck Kobasew 6' 0" 192 27 34 8 3 11 0 13 0 0 1 42 19 2.5M/2.3M 23 L 6' 1" 193 27 48 1 5 6 -12 24 0 0 0 51 2 1.4M/1.4M 48 L Guillaume Latendresse 6' 2" 230 22 8 3 3 6 2 8 1 0 1 13 23.1 2.5M/2.5M 25 D Cam Barker 6' 3" 215 24 39 1 4 5 -10 18 0 0 1 33 3 3.0M/3.0M 4 D Clayton Stoner 6' 3" 225 25 26 1 2 3 7 32 0 0 1 15 6.7 550K/550K 5 D Greg Zanon 5' 11" 201 29 48 0 3 3 5 28 0 0 0 29 0 2.0M/1.9M 16 R Brad Staubitz 6' 1" 215 26 40 0 3 3 -4 87 0 0 0 12 0 550K/575K 6 D Marco Scandella 6' 2" 190 20 16 0 2 2 -5 2 0 0 0 11 0 647K/555K 27 C Cody Almond 6' 2" 199 22 4 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 2 0 585K/383K 46 D Jared Spurgeon 5' 9" 185 21 20 0 0 0 -1 2 0 0 0 7 0 510K/362K

Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 202.5 26.6 2.62/g -7 11.2/g 37 4 25.9g 10.1%

We’re pretty sure you know how we feel about teams that average get- ting outshot by 7 per game.

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI GS Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 32 Niklas Backstrom 6’ 1” 189 32 28 28 1677 2.54 14 11 3 2 907 71 .922 0 0 2 6.0M/6.0M 60 Jose Theodore 5’ 11” 185 34 18 17 1036 2.66 8 7 2 1 531 46 .913 0 0 0 1.1M/1.1M Totals/Averages 6’ 0” 187 33 2.67 24 19 5 3 31.9/g 128 .918 0 0 2 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $ 58,365,129 CAP SPACE: $ 1,034,871 Injury List Josh Harding - Out *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Guillaume Latendresse - Out (Hip) Marek Zidlicky - Out (Shoulder) Tonight’s Blackhawks Lineup The Forwards

Troy Brouwer - 22 Jonathan Toews -19 Patrick Kane - 88 Goals: 14 Goals: 17 Goals: 13 Assists: 13 Assists: 21 Assists: 23 Points: 27 Points: 38 Points: 36 Plus/Minus: +2 Plus/Minus: +8 Plus/Minus: -7

This line can’t do as much with Toews at less than full speed. We’re assuming he plays tonight and then only does interviews and signs autographs in Raleigh.

Tomas Kopecky - 82 Patrick Sharp - 10 Marian Hossa - 81 Goals: 10 Goals: 25 Goals: 11 Assists: 21 Assists: 20 Assists: 16 Points: 31 Points: 45 Points: 26 Plus/Minus: -6 Plus/Minus: -9 Plus/Minus: +7

The most effective line on Sunday, and Sharp still ended up a -3. But when Hossa is strong with the puck and Kopecky just gets to the net, that’s all we ask.

Fernando Pisani - 15 Dave Bolland - 36 Bryan Bickell - 29 Goals: 7 Goals: 10 Goals: 12 Assists: 6 Assists: 13 Assists: 14 Points: 13 Points: 23 Points: 26 Plus/Minus: +4 Plus/Minus: +7 Plus/Minus: +12

Keep it going.

Viktor Stalberg - 25 Jake Dowell - 28 Jack Skille - 20 Goals: 7 Goals: 5 Goals: 7 Assists: 8 Assists: 11 Assists: 9 Points: 15 Points: 16 Points: 16 Plus/Minus: -1 Plus/Minus +9 Plus/Minus: +4

So what did bringing Scott out of his cage do? Oh right, it didn’t allow the Hawks to roll four lines and didn’t keep the Flyers from being physical. Hopefully Skille comes out with lightning shooting out of his ass tonight. Stalberg got some looks on the top line on Sunday, and didn’t do much with it. We’re about to give up. The Defensemen and Goalies Duncan Brent Brian Nik Hjal- Keith - 2 Seabrook - 7 Campbell - 51 marsson - 4 Goals: 3 Goals: 3 Goals: 2 Goals: 2 Assists: 25 Assists: 23 Assists: 15 Assists: 4 Points: 28 Points: 26 Points: 17 Points: 6 Plus/Minus: -2 Plus/Minus: -3 Plus/Minus: +22 Plus/Minus: +6

Not the main culprits, for once. Campbell and Hammer had a rough weekend. They were giving away the puck and missing clearances, But they’re allowed a blip. Jordan Nick Hendry - 6 Leddy - 8 Corey Goals: 1 Goals: 1 Assists: 0 Tonight’s Starter: Crawford - 50 Assists: 0 Record: 16-9-2 Points: 1 Points: 1 We’re assuming needing a win to head SV%: .922 Plus/Minus: -1 into the break Q will go with Crow, Plus/Minus: -2 GAA: 2.12 Thanks to the Flyers trapping, these two didn’t have the rough ride we who certainly wasn’t to blame on expected. Leddy should be inspired tonight seeing the team that drafted Sunday. him. Tonight’s Wild Lineup The Forwards Andrew Mikko Koivu - 9 Antti Miettinen - 20 Brunnette - 15 Goals: 14 Goals: 8 Goals: 12 Assists: 28 Assists: 14 Assists: 15 Points: 42 Points: 22 Points: 27 Plus/Minus: +4 Plus/Minus: -8 Plus/Minus: -7 Koivu is one of those names you just don’t hear much about, but he does everything. Brunnette is probably exactly what the Hawks need, a big winger who consistently gets to the front of the net. Shame he’s 180 years old.

Martin Havlat - 24 Kyle Brodziak - 21 Cal Clutterbuck - 22 Goals: 13 Goals: 9 Goals: 14 Assists: 30 Assists: 9 Assists: 8 Points: 43 Points: 18 Points: 22 Plus/Minus: +1 Plus/Minus: +4 Plus/Minus: +5

Havlat always is a force when he’s got someone to clear some space for him and get turnovers as well. It was Andrew Ladd here, it’s Clutterbuck there.

Pierre-Marc Eric Nystrom - 23 Matt Cullen - 7 Goals: 1 Goals: 10 Bouchard - 96 Assists: 5 Assists: 20 Goals: 3 Points: 6 Points: 30 Assists: 11 Plus/Minus: -12 Plus/Minus: 0 Points: 14 Plus/Minus: 0 Cullen’s a fine power play point dude, and Bouchard’s a nice story after returning from missing all of last year with concussion problems, but he isn’t quite the creative force he was two years ago yet. Nystrom looks like a guy who’d be KTFO’d by Burish.

Brad Staubitz - 16 John Madden - 11 Chuck Kobasew - 12 Goals: 0 Goals: 7 Goals: 8 Assists: 3 Assists: 8 Assists: 3 Points: 3 Points: 15 Points: 11 Plus/Minus: -4 Plus/Minus: -8 Plus/Minus: 0

One thing being the fourth line center on a Cup winner, another on this team. But Madden doesn’t let anyone down with his effort, penalty killing, or ability to win a draw. Staubitz won’t see the ice if the game’s close in the 3rd. The Defensemen and Goalies Brent Nick Greg Clayton Burns - 8 Schultz - 55 Zanon - 5 Stoner - 4 Goals: 14 Goals: 3 Goals: 0 Goals: 1 Assists: 17 Assists: 10 Assists: 3 Assists: 2 Points: 37 Points: 13 Points: 3 Points: 3 Plus/Minus: -6 Plus/Minus: 0 Plus/Minus: +5 Plus/Minus: +7 Schultz allows Burns to take all the chances he wants, and thus the numbers, and judging by that beard those chances also include exposing Clayton’s pot palace was flagrant false advertising. himself on playgrounds. Cam Jared Spur- Barker - 25 geon - 46 Niklas Goals: 1 Goals: 0 Tonight’s Starter: Backstrom - 32 Assists: 4 Assists: 0 Backstrom just returned from injury Record: 14-11-3 Points: 5 last week, and was excellent in a loss Points: 0 SV%: .922 Plus/Minus: -10 Plus/Minus: -1 to the Sharks, making 23 saves in the 2nd period alone. He’s handled not GAA: 2.54 The defense really suffers without Zidlicky, and Barker has been mostly being behind a trap system much bet- awful for the year. He still looks like he just got caught jerking off. Spur- ter than we thought. geon is iffy to go tonight, but no one’s been called up as of press time. Chicago Native Son Headley Lamarr’s RUSTLERS, CUT-THROATS, MURDERERS, BOUNTY HUNTERS, DESPERADOS, MUGS, PUGS, THUGS, NITWITS, HALFWITS AND DIMWITS Douchebag Du Jour Cal Clusterfuck - Short-bus, Minnesota While this is one of the tamer outfits around with only 20 bouts this season, and half of them taken by Brad Staubitz, we choose Clutterbuck for this slot. Clusterfuck throws himself around the ice as if on a meth binge, crashing into boards, crease, and opposing defensemen in a way that’ll give you the impres- sion he can’t actually stop on skates. However, for all his pest-credentials he hasn’t dropped them this year, and his scoring is way up due to his forecheck. Maybe he’ll continually be a 20-goal guy, or maybe he’ll be another example of our favorite hockey saying, “Was a crusher, thought he was a rusher, now he’s an usher.” Other Antagonists Brad Staubitz - The leading pugilist in this outfit, with nine encounters of the fisty-kind this season. Dude is famous for caving in Jordin Tootoo’s face by using MMA move of punching with forearm, and though that might be kind of cheap, it’s still Jordin Tootoo. Wouldn’t fuck with this guy if you don’t have to.

Shane Churla - Oh wait, this isn’t the North Stars?

Basil McRae - Right, not the Stars. Well if it was, these two would be the top of the list. But it’s not, and the Wild are filled with non-fighting pansies who are so soft because they try and play hockey instead of punch people in the face and all the Minnesota mouth-breathers hate them, we’re sure.

Power Play Penalty Kill adjusted for short-handed goals against adjusted for shorthanded goals for Team Opp PPG SHGA PP% Team Opp PPG SHGA PP% Team TS PPGA SHG PK% Team TS PPGA SHG PK% CHI 167 42 2 24.0% TOR 192 34 4 15.6% PIT 207 24 8 92.3% ANA 199 36 4 83.9% VAN 197 47 2 22.8% LAK 183 31 3 15.3% BOS 159 24 7 89.3% STL 178 34 5 83.7% ANA 169 40 4 21.3% OTT 151 25 2 15.2% NYR 173 28 9 89.0% SJS 171 30 2 83.6% SJS 198 45 4 20.7% NYI 184 33 5 15.2% WSH 198 28 5 88.4% DET 176 33 3 83.0% DET 187 41 4 19.8% PHI 187 31 4 14.4% MTL 198 29 3 86.9% BUF 186 34 2 82.8% MIN 173 37 4 19.1% STL 171 25 1 14.0% FLA 152 24 3 86.2% DAL 186 37 5 82.8% MTL 170 35 3 18.8% PHX 180 29 4 13.9% PHI 195 34 7 86.2% OTT 179 35 4 82.7% COL 170 36 6 17.6% BUF 181 34 9 13.8% NSH 172 26 2 86.0% CAR 178 38 6 82.0% ATL 184 38 6 17.4% NYR 177 28 4 13.6% VAN 180 29 3 85.6% PHX 182 37 4 81.9% CAR 205 38 4 16.6% NJD 150 23 3 13.3% MIN 185 32 4 84.9% CBJ 192 39 3 81.3% TBL 206 43 9 16.5% NSH 169 24 2 13.0% NJD 163 27 2 84.7% COL 189 43 6 80.4% DAL 189 38 7 16.4% CGY 201 31 7 11.9% NYI 182 33 5 84.6% CHI 159 35 3 79.9% PIT 193 35 4 16.1% EDM 173 21 2 11.0% TBL 190 31 1 84.2% TOR 153 34 2 79.1% BOS 175 31 3 16.0% FLA 166 19 4 9.0% LAK 176 31 3 84.1% ATL 176 43 6 79.0% WSH 172 30 3 15.7% CBJ 180 24 8 8.9% CGY 193 35 4 83.9% EDM 173 45 6 77.5% Spotlight

Cameron Barker

Cam Barker never stood a chance here, and he probably has the same problem in Minnesota. It’s a curse to be drafted after Evgeni Malkin and Alex Ovechkin. But back in 2004, the consensus -- and an overwhelming one -- was that was a two-player draft. It tells you a lot about the Hawks karma back then that they had the third pick in it. Match that with the far steeper learning curve for a defenseman than it is for a forward, and Barker was always climbing up hill. Barker only got 60 games in the AHL before being asked to be the savior here, and the Hawks organization didn’t do him many favors by talking him up. But Barker takes a fair portion of blame, too. For two and a half seasons, there was far too much of not playing to his size, being a little slow, not shooting enough, and not being the power play QB we were promised. We thought Cam had turned the corner during the first round series with Calgary in ‘09. He was the best player on the Hawks that round. He was physical, he was nasty, he created scoring chances with that booming shot of his. He kept an increasingly panicky Hawks team from losing it by scoring their first goal of the series when they’d been trailing, on a sneaky clever shot when he caught Mikka Kiprusoff leaning. He was just about as good against Vancouver, too. But last season, after having to start in Rockford due to cap constraints, Barker never took another step. With the emergence of Duncan Keith and the improved play of Brian Campbell -- along with Q’s insistence of using a forward on the point on the power play -- there wasn’t a power play spot open for Barker. Furthermore, the top-4 was set with the coming out party of Niklas Hjalmarsson. Paying $3 mildo for a #5 defenseman just didn’t make any sense. We liked the trade of Barker at the time, though we thought with the added minutes we were sure he was going to get in St. Paul he would eventually become the idea we had of him. But Barker was up against it too in Minnesota, because Nick Leddy was a Minnesota boy attending the U. of Minnesota. Wild fans had big dreams for Leddy, and weren’t thrilled he was shipped out. But Barker once again has deomonstrated a lack of sandpaper, physicality, and offensive skill. He’s biffed the opportunity he was given here. He’s only 24, and there’s still time, but you wonder who’s going to give him the next chance. All the pieces are seemingly there, but they don’t mean any- thing if they’re not put together. KNOW THY ENEMY

Old friend Cam Barker hasn’t won over the Minnesota faithful yet, has he? Bryan Reynolds from Hockey Wilderness.com is our guest tonight. If by “win over” you mean that they want to either trade him for a bag of pucks to clear his cap space, or simply waive him and hope for the best, then yes. The Wild have been on a tear recently, what’s been most impressive about When he won the game against the Coyotes, he had a day or two where fans it? didn’t want to string him up, but it quickly passed. His complete lack of emotion The fact that they continue to win despite being outshot every night. They have is irritating, as he refuses to stand up and protect Backstrom, or his teammates, won one game all year where they also had more shots that the opposition. No and I can’t remember the last time I saw him throw a check. There were a one on this team shoots the puck enough, and the goal differential shows it. couple games he was scratched in favor of three rookie d-men. He should some How a team can be in playoff position while being outshot by almost 300 shots emotion in one game after his return, but again, that passed quickly. He is very on the season is beyond me. To watch the Wild control the puck in the offensive quickly approaching Martin Skoula levels of disdain here in Minnesota. zone is to raise your blood pressure to unsafe levels. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, open shot? Nah. Pass again, get intercepted, possession over. Cal Clutterbuck has 14 goals already. Product of playing with Havlat? The only thing more impressive than winning despite being outshot is the fact Or is he going to continually be a 20-goal guy? that fans continue to blame the losses on the goalies. Stopping 30+ shots almost Clutter only recently was paired up with Havlat. He has played with every line every night isn’t good enough. They want “more.” No one can define what poosible already this year. He skated with Mikko Koivu and Andrew Brunette “more” is, but they want it. If Backstrom skated out as an extra forward and pot- for a few games, was dropped to the fourth line with John Madden and Eric ted the GWG, he still wouldn’t be doing enough. It’s infuriating. Nystrom, has played with Kyle Brodziak and Havalt, which is the line he cur- rently is playing on. So is it a result of playing with Havlat? Indirectly, yes. The Brent Burns finally became what you’d hoped. We know you were high on real reason is that he is being trusted with more minutes, comes hard on the him in recent years but not thrilled with his treatment by coaches. What’s forecheck, and creates his own chances. Unlike much of the team, he finishes on the difference this year? those chances as well. He can certainly be a 20 goal guy, and those of us who Short answer? Rick Wilson. Having a coach on staff that has proven time and saw the shot he had in years past could see that with added minutes and more again that he knows how each individual defenseman helps the team is huge. responsibility, he could easily be a 20 goal scorer. Nick Schultz is not going to contribute to the offense, and Brent Burns is not a fucking forward. Some fans have suggested he go back to forward for a test The Wild have vaulted themselves into the playoff race, can they stay there, since he is playing so well offensively. Everytime I read it, I want to reach there? through the computer screen and break someone’s face. Ah, the million dollar question. If the play the way they did against the Canucks The real reasons behind it? Being allowed to pinch when he feels the situation and the Flames, yes. If they play the way they did against the Sharks in the warrants, and knowing a forward will fall back to help has made Burns much last game? Not a chance. The problem is, you never know which team is going more comfortable. He is finally able to use the talent his momma gave him, and to come out of the gates on any given night. Todd Richards has a damn fine the Lemaire joke is over. system, and when they play it, they win. When they get off track and shove their heads in their asses, they lose where they are supposed to be, and they get Isn’t it wonderful when Martin Havlat has a pulse and is in one piece? smoked. The inconsistency is brutal to watch, and listening to the players say Havlat is an amazing talent. There have been a few times that I have been abso- they know they are inconsistent is mind numbing. If you know it, fix it. lutely speechless as he drives the net and puts in a shot that no one else on the With as bad as some teams are playing right now, it is bolstering the Wild when team is capable of making. Having him healthy makes it a bit easier to laugh as they have off nights. If the Sharks, Hawks, Kings, Coyotes, Avs, etc figure out Gaborik misses his regular ten or so games every year, too. Would be nice to see their game first, the Wild are in trouble. It is just as easy to finish in 13th as it is Marty shoot more, but that is looking for a Lamborghini to somehow be faster. to finish in 8th right now. Though 8th would be wonderful, so long as the Ca- It would be nice, but if it doesn’t happen, so be it. If Guillaume Latendresse nucks finish first. The Wild own the Nucks, and it would be a pleasure to watch would have been healthy all year, Havlat would be an All Star right now. Would them end the Nuckleheads season. be great to have a sniper on the wing opposite Havlat.

wild-HAWKS: The Last 4

Oct. 31st, 2010: Hawks 3 - Wild 1 March 31st, 2010: Hawks 4 - Wild 0 A non-descript win in October, where Hawks play Hawks officially exit March Doldrums with a pure good enough to get past a still-transitioning Wild curb-stomping of the Wild in St. Paul. Hawks only team. Brouwer and Keith score and Dowell adds surrender 21 shots, none of them threatening, as empty-netter, as Pat and Eddie inexplicably take Antti Niemi waltzes to a shutout. Kopecky scores joy in Martin Havlat’s ho-hum performance. twice.

Jan. 9th, 2010: Hawks 5 - Wild 6 (SO) Jan. 5th, 2010: Wild 1 - Hawks 4 Hawks blow four-goal lead after simply toying Yet another breeze, as is only with the Wild for first 30 minutes. Completely go asked to turn away 18 of 19 shots. Hossa scores to sleep, Huet can’t wake them up, and one of the twice for his second consecutive two-goal game. dumber losses in recent memory is collected. Could use that again soon. Fifth Feather The Decision 2009 Whether Martin Havlat or Marian Hossa will ever want to admit it, a Hawks jersey, the song and dance of Havlat vs. Hossa is bound to continue. the two will forever be linked in Blackhawk lore. Each can thank Stan Bow- Let’s get one thing straight, though: Marian Hossa is not here to be one of man, Scotty Bowman, , John McDonough, or whoever else was the unsung players as Pierre MacGuire referred to him during Sunday’s in charge at the time the Hawks ditched their 2008-2009 MVP for a slightly broadcast. Bryan Bickell is an unsung player; Jake Dowell is an unsung shinier, albeit older part. In doing so, the Blackhawks thought they were player. Marian Hossa is here to be a difference maker: a guy who can take getting a reliable 70- to 80-point winger they could pencil into the lineup over a game when the opposition gives him the slightest opening, not some- 80 games a year for the next decade. They ditched an electric player who one who shanks more one-timers than your average rec league player. they thought couldn’t keep himself in the lineup for more than 60 games a campaign and, as such, couldn’t be trusted with a long-term contract. At the After a year and a half, simply comparing the players, their indi- time, most Blackhawk observers were sad to see Havlat go, but hopeful that vidual results, and their cost (because isn’t that what it’s all about these days Hossa could be a better player for the young Hawks. The Feather was no anyway) the arrow has to be tilting in Havlat’s direction. In two years here exception. thus far, Hossa has never really been at 100%. (Have we mentioned that his durability was one of the major reasons the Hawks handed him a lifetime Before we delve a little deeper, let’s first debunk the notion that deal instead of Havlat? Funny how that works.) Martin Havlat is the anti-Christ. You can guarantee that Pat Foley and Ed Olcyzk will go on an extended Havlat rant tonight should Havlat fail to play Last year after his delayed start to the season, Hossa put together a to their standards. Much of that is probably based upon the idea that Havlat really nice 22-game stretch where he scored 24 points. During that stretch, waged a full-scale internet war on the or- he was held off the score sheet just four ganization in the weeks that followed what times. He finished the season with 51 was essentially a star-for-star swap. points in 57 games scoring 24 goals in the process. While Havlat was undeniably upset that he was not being invited back His playoffs were a kind of ‘meh’ experi- to the team he helped shape, the thought ence. Sure there was his goal in that he was one step away from setting fire Game 5 against Nashville, but he scored to the United Center is very likely an overreaction that the Hawks haven’t just two more times after that. His best game was a game after which he tried to fight in any way. Here’s a sampling of what Havlat said on his now probably should have been suspended for a hit on Dan Hamhuis, so take that rarely-used Twitter account leading up to and following his departure from for what it’s worth. And, yeah, we had that whole thing, so it’s Chicago: difficult to give him a negative grade for the spring. Though he didn’t score at the levels he had in previous playoffs, he did manage to play responsibly Meeting with Dale Tallon for dinner tonight, leaving to Prague tomorrow. and generally remain a factor – something Havlat struggled to do when he FYI, I am NOT putting my condo up for sale (if you get my drift!). 10:35 AM wasn’t producing. Nonetheless, his ability to be a factor while failing to get May 31st, 2009 himself on the score sheet is admirable, but not quite the reason he’s wearing the Indian Head. Everyone should know I am only thinking about signing with Chicago. It’s where I want to be. 1:40 AM Jun 24th, 2009 Hossa has offered the occasional glimpse at the player he was before Chicago. Take the first seven games of this season, for instance, I just want to say thank u to all my teammates. You guys are awesome... where he racked up 11 points. Too many times this year, though, people have sending me text messages all day wanting to know if it’s done. June 30, 2009 simply been satisfied with his back-checking and ignored the fact that he 5:37 PM disappears offensively for long stretches without any results.

Thanks to all Hawks fans for your love and support over the last 3 years. Meanwhile in Minnesota, following a 54-point season in 73 games Will never forget your generousity and the great playoff run! July 01, 2009 last year, Havlat has recaptured his Jesus routine of two years ago. His sea- 10:01 PM son last year left quite a bit to be desired, though. He was injured a quarter of the way into the season and it apparently took a long while to get adjusted Hossa is a good friend and I am happy for him. July 01, 2009 10:04 PM to his new team. It wasn’t until the Wild acquired Guillame Latendresse from the Canadiens in late-November that Havlat started producing like he There’s something to be said for loyalty and honor. July 01, 2009 10:08 PM was expected to. The two immediately clicked with Havlat scoring 46 of his 54 points in his final 52 games. I guess everyone saw what happened to Dale....yes, the story is starting to come out but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. July 14, 2009 12:30 PM This season, he has almost single-handedly dragged the Wild back into the playoff picture with 43 points in 48 games – all without Latendresse, Lot’s of people are telling me to stay quiet but shouldn’t the fans know the who has seen action in only eight games this season. His point total paces truth? It’s your loyalty, season ticket money and emotions here July 14, 2009 the Wild; Mikko Koivu has 42 points in just as many games. Havlat also 12:32 PM has five points in his last four games, which included a three-point night in Calgary. Not exactly words that should have launched a thousand ships. But while Havlat never told the “truth” to the fans as to what happened, it’s So who was the right player to sign long-term? How about you obvious he was a little perturbed that he was negotiating his contract with check with us the next time the Wild are in town. Until then, the playoffs a lame-duck GM. Nonetheless, it’s hardly a reason to treat him like a war have started in Chicago a couple months early, and the Hawks could use criminal every time he faces the Hawks. a big time scorer. Let us know if you’ve seen any former 40-goal scorers around. Because of how similar the cap hits are but how different their contracts are structured, as long as Marian Hossa leaves us underwhelmed in AD 2

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Referee Stats For The Hawks

# Referees Ref Since Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/Game W L OTL 15 Auger, Stephane 9/1/94 1 4 3 7.0 4.0 3.0 0 1 0 44 Banfield, David 9/1/07 1 4 4 8.0 4.0 4.0 1 0 0 46 Charron, Francis 41 Ciamaga, Chris 9/1/06 1 2 2 6.0 2.0 2.0 1 0 0 10 Devorski, Paul 9/1/87 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 0 1 0 19 Dwyer, Gord 9/1/03 3 9 11 6.6 3.0 3.6 2 1 0 27 Furlatt, Eric 9/1/98 3 11 12 10.0 3.6 4.0 0 3 0 30 Hasenfratz, Mike 9/1/00 49 Hebert, Ghislain 9/1/08 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 1 0 0 43 Hebert, Jean 9/1/10 8 Jackson, Dave 9/1/89 1 6 1 9.0 6.0 1.0 1 0 0 25 Joannette, Marc 9/1/93 2 6 10 8.0 3.0 5.0 1 1 0 18 Kimmerly, Greg 9/1/93 3 6 7 5.0 2.0 2.5 2 0 1 32 Kowal, Tom 9/1/98 40 Kozari, Steve 9/1/03 2 10 10 13.0 5.0 5.0 2 0 0 14 LaRue, Dennis 9/1/89 1 2 4 6.0 2.0 4.0 0 1 0 17 L'Ecuyer, Frederick 9/1/06 1 9 8 19.0 9.0 8.0 1 0 0 28 Lee, Chris 9/1/99 3 13 11 8.3 4.3 3.6 1 1 1 3 Leggo, Mike 9/1/96 3 7 6 7.0 2.3 2.0 1 1 1 26 Martell, Rob 9/1/92 1 4 1 7.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 4 McCauley, Wes 9/1/01 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 1 0 0 7 McCreary, Bill 9/1/82 1 3 4 10.0 3.0 4.0 1 0 0 34 Meier, Brad 9/1/94 1 4 1 7.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 36 Morton, Dean 9/1/99 2 7 1 5.0 3.5 1.0 2 0 0 13 O'Halloran, Dan 9/1/92 3 15 15 11.3 5.0 5.0 3 0 0 9 O'Rourke, Dan 9/1/99 20 Peel, Tim 9/1/95 2 6 9 10.0 3.0 4.5 1 1 0 16 Pochmara, Brian 9/1/02 1 7 3 10 7.0 3.0 0 0 1 33 Pollock, Kevin 9/1/97 37 Rehman, Kyle 2 7 7 9.0 3.5 3.5 1 1 0 5 Rooney, Chris 9/1/96 2 8 4 7.0 4.0 2.0 1 1 0 38 StLaurent, Francois 9/1/03 2 5 5 7.0 2.5 2.5 1 1 0 12 StPierre, Justin 9/1/03 1 4 6 10.0 4.0 6.0 0 1 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 9/1/99 1 2 4 6.0 2.0 4.0 1 0 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 7/15/92 2 9 5 8.0 4.5 2.5 0 2 0 45 Vinnerborg, Marcus 9/1/10 24 Walkom, Stephen 9/1/90 3 6 3 5.3 2.0 1.0 2 1 0 29 Walsh, Ian 9/1/96 3 11 8 8.6 3.6 2.6 2 1 0 23 Watson, Brad 9/1/93 3 6 9 5.4 2.0 3.0 2 1 0

NHL LEADERS Goals Points GAA SV% Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 S. Stamkos TB 38 1 S. Stamkos TB 67 1 Tim Thomas BOS 1.84 1 Tim Thomas BOS .945 2 S. Crosby PIT 32 2 S. Crosby PIT 66 2 P. Rinne NSH 2.11 2 P. Rinne NSH .928 3 D. Sedin VAN 27 3 D. Sedin VAN 63 3 C. Crawford CHI 2.12 3 H. Lundqvist NYR .927 4 R. Kesler VAN 27 4 H. Sedin VAN 61 4 J. Quick LA 2.16 4 J. Hiller ANA .926 5 C. Perry ANA 25 5 M. St. Louis TB 60 5 S. Varlamov WAS 2.22 5 S. Varlamov WAS .926 6 P. Sharp CHI 25 17 P. Sharp CHI 45 11 C. Crawford CHI .922 Hockey Sabermetrics CHICAGO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging RATING for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging RATING for teammates on ice with player. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

NAME TOI/60 QUALCOMP QUALTEAM GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Brian Campbell 18.93 0.007 -0.005 3.45 1.21 2.24 2.42 2.71 -0.29 2.53 Bryan Bickell 12.55 0.09 -0.082 3.29 2.12 1.17 2.44 2.37 0.07 1.09 Jonathan Toews 14.63 0.083 -0.162 3.1 2.01 1.09 2.54 2.34 0.2 0.9 Marian Hossa 14.67 0.03 -0.285 2.81 1.53 1.28 2.51 2.01 0.5 0.78 Jake Dowell 10.36 -0.038 -0.012 2.96 2.06 0.9 2.58 2.4 0.17 0.73 N. Hjalmarsson 16.52 0.018 0.22 2.58 1.94 0.65 2.66 2.54 0.12 0.52 Jack Skille 10.6 -0.053 0.049 2.44 1.93 0.51 2.74 2.35 0.39 0.12 Troy Brouwer 12.59 0.03 0.037 3.04 2.74 0.3 2.51 2.13 0.39 -0.09 Nick Boynton 14.52 -0.084 -0.111 2.75 2.75 0 2.57 2.47 0.1 -0.1 Fernando Pisani 11.34 0.085 -0.065 2 1.43 0.57 2.91 2.18 0.73 -0.15 Dave Bolland 13.02 0.166 0.036 2.59 2.14 0.45 2.74 2.07 0.66 -0.21 Patrick Kane 14.78 0.058 -0.018 2.78 2.88 -0.11 2.32 2.03 0.28 -0.39 John Scott 6.26 -0.174 -0.145 0.96 1.6 -0.64 2.52 2.57 -0.05 -0.59 Viktor Stalberg 11.19 0.037 0.061 2.37 2.62 -0.25 2.72 2.31 0.42 -0.67 Brent Seabrook 18.46 0.126 -0.136 2.49 2.56 -0.07 2.75 2.12 0.63 -0.7 Duncan Keith 19.91 0.113 -0.09 2.69 2.82 -0.13 2.62 1.91 0.71 -0.84 Tomas Kopecky 13.03 -0.058 0.077 2.8 3.1 -0.3 2.63 1.98 0.66 -0.96 Patrick Sharp 14.26 -0.038 0.111 2.38 2.84 -0.46 2.8 2.04 0.76 -1.21 Jordan Hendry 10.42 -0.046 -0.338 1.55 1.99 -0.44 3.07 2.26 0.81 -1.25 Nick Leddy 12.85 0.019 -0.207 2.33 2.72 -0.39 3.38 1.41 1.97 -2.36

Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Corsi Rating This is a measure of a team’s goals-for Shots attempted for a team vs. how many are at- Penalties Drawn This measures how many goals a team per 60 minutes of player being on the tempted against while a given player is on the ice, gives up per 60 minutes the player is on vs. Taken ice on the power play the ice on the PK. per 60 min. . Player GFON/60 Player GA/60 NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Troy Brouwer 11.51 Jake Dowell 4.9 Jonathan Toews 18.6 Viktor Stalberg 1.4 0.9 Jonathan Toews 11.43 Jonathan Toews 5.92 Viktor Stalberg 10.7 Jack Skille 1.4 1.2 Brent Seabrook 11.42 Brian Campbell 5.97 Patrick Kane 8.3 Troy Brouwer 1.3 0.4 Patrick Sharp 11.25 Duncan Keith 6.33 Troy Brouwer 8.1 Jordan Hendry 1.3 0.2 Duncan Keith 10.75 Marian Hossa 6.94 Brian Campbell 7.1 Patrick Kane 1.2 0.3 Tomas Kopecky 10.52 Nick Boynton 7.16 Jack Skille 6.8 Jonathan Toews 1.1 0.2 Bryan Bickell 9.92 Brent Seabrook 7.48 Brent Seabrook 6.5 Dave Bolland 1.1 1.2 Marian Hossa 9.3 Patrick Sharp 8.47 Marian Hossa 6.3 Bryan Bickell 1.1 0.8 Patrick Kane 9.19 Dave Bolland 9.01 Duncan Keith 6.2 John Scott 1 1.3 Dave Bolland 9.08 N. Hjalmarsson 9.11 Patrick Sharp 3.8 Tomas Kopecky 0.9 1.5 Brian Campbell 7.68 Fernando Pisani 11.9 Jake Dowell 1.6 Nick Leddy 0.8 0 Tomas Kopecky 1.3 Fernando Pisani 0.7 0.6 N. Hjalmarsson -3.7 Patrick Sharp 0.6 0.9 Nick Boynton -4.7 Jake Dowell 0.5 0.5 Face-offs John Scott -5.8 Marian Hossa 0.4 0.9 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Jordan Hendry -11.8 Brent Seabrook 0.3 0.8 Jonathan Toews 945 58.7 Nick Leddy -13.9 N. Hjalmarsson 0.3 0.2 Patrick Sharp 449 48.1 Dave Bolland -15.9 Brian Campbell 0.2 0.2 Jake Dowell 395 47.1 Fernando Pisani -16.3 Nick Boynton 0.2 1 Dave Bolland 706 44.9 Bryan Bickell -18.4 Duncan Keith 0 0.6 Total Rank: 16th 50.2 Hockey Sabermetrics MINNESOTA NAME TOI/60 QUALCOMP QUALTEAM GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Clayton Stoner 13.59 -0.022 0.001 1.87 0.85 1.02 2.09 3.03 -0.94 1.96 Cal Clutterbuck 11.94 -0.028 -0.143 2.46 1.71 0.75 2.03 2.47 -0.44 1.18 Kyle Brodziak 11.79 -0.035 -0.044 2.33 2.12 0.21 2.05 2.4 -0.35 0.57 Greg Zanon 17.6 -0.005 0.034 1.85 1.7 0.14 2.28 2.7 -0.42 0.56 Mikko Koivu 14.11 0.022 -0.198 2.39 2.21 0.18 2 2.38 -0.38 0.55 Martin Havlat 14.67 -0.014 0.082 2.9 2.81 0.09 1.77 2.11 -0.35 0.43 Matt Cullen 12.24 0.012 0.162 2.51 2.4 0.11 2.05 2.31 -0.27 0.37 Nick Schultz 16.29 0.008 -0.105 2.45 2.45 0 2.03 2.33 -0.3 0.3 Chuck Kobasew 11.12 -0.085 -0.092 2.22 2.22 0 2.15 2.25 -0.1 0.1 Brent Burns 18.19 -0.006 -0.076 2.51 2.87 -0.36 1.91 2.18 -0.27 -0.09 P.M. Bouchard 12.23 -0.036 0.107 2.75 2.94 -0.2 2.29 2.22 0.07 -0.26 Marek Zidlicky 15.92 -0.022 0.074 2.26 2.26 0 2.22 1.96 0.26 -0.26 Andrew Brunnette 13.64 0.014 0.033 1.83 2.38 -0.55 2.23 2.31 -0.07 -0.48 Jared Spurgeon 12.75 -0.005 -0.162 1.18 1.65 -0.47 2.63 2.46 0.17 -0.64 Antti Miettinen 12.31 0.017 -0.012 1.87 2.75 -0.87 2.34 2.43 -0.09 -0.79 John Madden 11.86 -0.033 -0.169 1.98 2.75 -0.77 2.2 2.16 0.04 -0.81 Brad Staubitz 6.17 -0.097 -0.309 1.46 2.43 -0.97 2.29 2.25 0.04 -1.01 Cam Barker 14.3 -0.052 -0.113 1.94 2.91 -0.97 2.38 2.05 0.33 -1.3 Eric Nystrom 11.71 -0.041 -0.055 1.39 2.77 -1.39 2.36 2.18 0.18 -1.56 Marco Scandella 14.11 -0.013 -0.176 1.86 3.99 -2.13 1.87 1.87 0 -2.13

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings This measures how many shots are attempted for a This is a measure of a team’s goals for This measures how many goals a team vs. how many are attempted against while a vs. Taken per 60 minutes of player being on the team gives up per 60 minutes the given player is on the ice, per 60 min. ice on the power play. player is on the ice on the PK. NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Player GFON/60 Player GAON/60 Antti Miettinen 16 Mikko Koivu 1.4 1 Antti Miettinen 9.99 Matt Cullen 2.88 P.M. Bouchard 11.6 Chuck Kobasew 1.4 0.3 Matt Cullen 9.77 Clayton Stoner 3.03 Mikko Koivu 11.2 Marco Scandella 1.3 0 Andrew Brunnette 9.74 Brent Burns 4.14 Martin Havlat 11 Cal Clutterbuck 1.2 1.4 Marek Zidlicky 9.14 Cal Clutterbuck 4.26 Jared Spurgeon 8 Brad Staubitz 1.2 3.2 Mikko Koivu 9.14 Nick Schultz 4.98 Kyle Brodziak 7.3 P.M. Bouchard 1 0.4 Brent Burns 6.67 Kyle Brodziak 5.67 Andrew Brunnette 7.3 Martin Havlat 1 0.9 Cal Clutterbuck 5.54 Mikko Koivu 6.39 Brent Burns 4.2 Eric Nystrom 0.7 0.6 Martin Havlat 5.53 John Madden 6.61 Nick Schultz 1.9 Kyle Brodziak 0.6 1 P.M. Bouchard 5.05 Eric Nystrom 6.93 Cal Clutterbuck 1.8 Andrew Brunnette 0.6 0.4 Cam Barker 0.99 Greg Zanon 7.46 Cam Barker -0.5 Cam Barker 0.5 0.8 Antti Miettinen 8.35 Marek Zidlicky -1.2 Matt Cullen 0.5 0.7 Marek Zidlicky 10.79 Matt Cullen -2.3 Clayton Stoner 0.5 1.9 Marco Scandella -3.5 Antti Miettinen 0.4 0.6 Clayton Stoner -4.3 Nick Schultz 0.4 1.1 Face-offs Greg Zanon -9 Marek Zidlicky 0.4 1 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Chuck Kobasew -9.2 Greg Zanon 0.4 0.8 Matt Cullen 495 54.1 John Madden -12.9 John Madden 0.4 0.3 Mikko Koivu 909 53.0 Eric Nystrom -13.1 Brent Burns 0.2 1 John Madden 567 51.0 Brad Staubitz -23.2 Jared Spurgeon 0 0.2 Kyle Brodziak 592 49.3 Total Rank: 9th 51.2 The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE 2010-2011 Viktor Stalberg (TOR 6th round 2006), Ryan Johnson (FLA 2nd round 1996) Chris Didomenico, and Phillipe Paradis Marty Turco (DAL 5th round 1994) from TOR for Kris Versteeg and Bill Fernando Pisani (EDM 8th round Sweatt 1996) John Scott (MIN Undrafted FA) 2009-2010 Nick Boynton (BOS 1st round 1999) Marian Hossa (OTT 1st round 1997) from ANA for future considerations Tomas Kopecky (DET 2nd round Nick Leddy (MIN 1st round 2009) 2000) and from MIN for Cam Barker

2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997

2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round)

2005-2006 Jack Skille (1st round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) Jordan Hendry (Undrafted FA) Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) from PHI for (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Dave Bolland (2nd round) Bryan Bickell (2nd round) Jake Dowell (5th round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Corey Crawford (2nd round)

2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com GM HISTORY Present: Stan Bowman COACHES 2005-2009: Dale Tallon Head Coach- Joel Quenneville Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fucking Times: Bob Assistant Coach- Mike Kitchen Assistant Coach- Mike Haviland Pulford Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin 2001-2004: Mike Smith Goaltending Coach- Stephane Waite 1999-2000: Bob Murray The Making of The

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT Brad Staubitz (SJ Undrafted FA 2006) from SJ for Matt Cullen (ANA 2nd round 2010 5th round pick 1996) John Madden (NJ Undrafted FA 1997) Eric Nystrom (CGY 1st round 2002) Jarred Spurgeon (NYI 6th round 2008) Jose Theodore (MTL 2nd round 1994) 2009-2010 Cam Barker (CHI 1st round 2004) from CHI for Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round Kim Johnsson and Nick Leddy 1999) Guillaume Latendresse (MTL 2nd round 2005) Greg Zanon (OTT 5th round from MTL for Benoit Pouliot 2000) Chuck Kobasew (CAL 1st round 2001) from BOS for Alex Fallstrom, (STL 5th round 2000), and 2011 2nd round pick Kyle Brodziak (EDM 7th round 2003) with 2009 6th round pick from EDM for 2009 4th and 5th round pick 2008-2009 Marco Scandella (2nd round) Marek Zidlicky (NYR 6th round 2001) from NSH Andrew Brunnette (WSH 7th for Ryan Jones and 2009 2nd round pick round 1993) Antti Miettinen (DAL 7th round 2000) 2007-2008 Cody Almond (5th round) 2006-2007 Cal Clutterbuck (3rd round) Niklas Backstrom (Undrafted FA)

2004-2005 Clayton Stoner (3rd round) 2003-2004 Brent Burns (1st round) 2002-2003 Pierre-Marc Bouchard (1st round) Josh Harding (2nd round) 2001-2002 Mikko Koivu (1st round) 2000-20001 Nick Schultz (2nd round) info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach - Todd Richards Present: Chuck Fletcher Assistant Coach -Darby Hendrickson 2001-2009: Doug Risebrough Assistant Coach - Rick Wilson Assistant Coach - Dave Barr Goaltending Coach- Bob Mason The Hawks Record When...

Playing at United Center..... 16-12-0 Taking 30 or more shots...... 18-12-3 Dave Bolland wins an important faceoff... 6-0-0 Playing on road...... 10-7-4 Taking less than 30 shots..... 8-7-1 Dave Bolland is anywhere to be found.... 11-2-1 Scoring first...... 18-8-3 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 9-6-3 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 24-17-3 Opponent scores first...... 8-11-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 17-13-1 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 1-4-0 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 10-5-0 during 4-on-4...... 20-10-2 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 15-8-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 4-4-2 Konroyd thankfully fills-in for Eddie O 2-1-1 Shoot the puck bimbo blows Indian Staff.... 0-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 7-3-0 Pat Foley screws up a name...... 24-18-3 Editor bleeds on programs... 3-0-0 Opponent played night before.... 6-5-0 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 16-12-0 Playing on a Monday...... 3-2-0 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 8-5-1 Ice Crew wear pants...... 0-0-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 1-1-0 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 18-14-3 Ice Crew comes out on the ice at the wrong time.... 0-0-0 Playing on a Wednesday...... 6-6-0 Taking yet another fucking too-many men penalty.... 3-3-0 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0 Playing on a Thursday...... 0-1-1 Keith takes a penalty...... 9-1-0 Leading after 2 periods...... 19-3-2 Playing on a Friday...... 4-4-0 Toews takes a penalty..... 5-1-0 Losing after 2 periods...... 2-8-1 Playing on a Saturday...... 6-2-3 Kane takes lazy offensive zone penalty.... 2-2-0 Tied after 2 periods...... 5-8-1 Playing on a Sunday...... 6-3-0 Brouwer takes a penalty... 1-3-0 In overtime...... 2-2 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 1-11-0 Seabrook takes a penalty... 6-4-1 In shootout...... 3-2 Outshoot opponent...... 16-12-1 Scott takes a penalty... 3-2-1 On Heritage Nights.... 2-1-0 Are outshot by opponent.... 10-7-3 Scott hilariously falls down.... 2-4-0 On Murray Bannerman Heritage Night.... 0-0-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 9-2-0 WHY THE FUCK IS SCOTT DRESSED???!!!!...... 7-12-1 In 1-goal games..... 10-8-4 Jonathan Toews scores...... 9-4-0 Sharp floats around and doesn’t do much.... 3-10-3 In 2-goal games...... 5-6-0 Patrick Sharp scores...... 14-5-1 Coach Q mysteriously sits best players on the night.... 3-2-0 In 3-goal games...... 7-4-0 Jack Skille scores...... 2-2-1 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 4-3-0 In 4+ goal games...... 4-1-0 Jack Skille is surprisingly competent.... 20-10-4 No fights in 300 Level..... 11-9-0 Scoring more than 3 goals..... 17-2-1 Section of fans wail for Dustin Byfuglien.... 26-19-4 Playing Eastern Conference..... 5-3-0 Scoring 3 goals or less...... 8-17-3 Some fans hilariously pine for James Wisniewski... 0-1-0 Playing Western Conference..... 19-16-4 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Marian Hossa scores...... 8-1-1 Playing Central Division...... 8-5-3 PA plays some Faces finally..... 0-2-0 51 Phantom scores...... 0-2-0 Playing Northwest Division.... 6-6-1 PA fucking plays 3’s and 7’s! Fuck and Yes!...... 6-5-0 51 Phantom does his little turn on the catwalk... 15-12-3 Playing Pacific Division 7-5-1 PA plays TOOL!!!!!! 1-1-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 3-0-0 Playing Atlantic Division 1-3-0 Dr. Love?...... 2-2-0 Duncan Keith reverts to sophomore season awful... 3-14-2 Playing NASCAR Division 1-0-0 Brouwer fights.... 0-1-0 Brent Seabrook scores...... 0-2-0 Playing Northeast Division 3-0-0 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 Troy Brouwer scores.... 7-2-0 Playing in October.... 7-5-1 Dowell fights.... 4-2-0 Tomas Kopecky scores.... 5-2-1 Playing in November.... 7-6-1 Scott fights... 3-4-0 Tomas Kopecky’s helmet falls off... 25-17-3 Playing December.... 6-5-1 Bickell fights.... 2-1-1 Tomas Kopecky serves any purpose whatsoever... 4-1-1 Playing in January... 6-3-1 On Comcast...... 13-15-3 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 17-9-2 Playing in February... 0-0-0 On WGN...... 11-3-0 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 9-10-2 Playing in March.... 0-0-0 On Vs...... 2-0-1 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 13-12-2 Playing in April.... 0-0-0 On NBC.... 0-1-0 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 13-7-2 Turco causes minor brain bubble amongst us.... 4-3-1 Kitchen interviewed before 3rd... 9-9-1 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 4-0-0 Get obliterated on faceoffs...... 10-11-2 Haviland interviewed before 3rd... 7-7-2 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 1-0-0 When even close on faceoffs.... 16-8-2 New 300 Level bars are filled with drunk trixies... 16-12-0

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