$3 Troubled Souls Unite, We Got Ourselves Tonight $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com nbcchicago.com/madhouseenforcer January 25th, 2011 [email protected] GANG FIGHTS, FATAL STRIKES Were you expecting Axl here? We doesn’t win it clean he gives up. Bolland could this season, and they are the discovery that didn’t think it was as bad as some around here at least try and tie up opposing centermen Brent Burns and old savior Martin Havlat are in would have you believe. First, the Flyers are more often and give his wingers a chance to fact not dead. Burns has always showed flash- the best team we’ve seen come into the United help out. This is something the Hawks should es of being a quality player -- he put up 43 Center this season, and by a measurable work on heavily after the break, just as they points in ‘07-’08 -- but surrounded it by be- margin. There are no holes there. That said, have the penalty kill. What we do know is that ing a total clod in his own end or being jerked the Hawks (who were not “flat” as they were having Tomas Kopecky take a draw isn’t an around and skated at forward by his coaches. described by every reporter, and for the love of answer, even if it’s a drugged up koala facing Now that he’s been left alone on the blue line God could these people find a different word?) the wrong way on the other side. Actually, all and allowed to be aggressive, the Wild are adjusted to an unforseen trap by Philly in the koala’s are drugged up due to large intake of seeing the dividends. He’s also headed to the 1st, and created a few chances against the eucalyptus leaves (total myth, but funny as all All-Star game. league’s deepest group of defensemen. Sadly, hell), but you get the idea. You already know the story with through a combination of not getting bodies in Hey Babe, Take A Shot On The Wild Havlat. He was ineffective last year because front of Sergei Bobrovsky and a hard-on to try Tonight’s opponent is a mild surprise of some injuries and general malaise that and blister one through his intestines. When in the Western Conference, the Minnesota surrounded the Wild. Their fans mistook that the 2nd rolled around, the Flyers aggressive- Wild. They’re 7-4 this month, and this is the for not caring and softness. With total health ness kicked in, and the Hawks patience with last game of a five-game road trip. A couple and the right linemates, Havlat has showcased the puck ran out. They were often too cute of highlights for them on this swing was two the stuff that made us joke about him being a at the Flyers’ blue line (though not as cute as shutouts of Calgary and Vancouver on the religious figure. He’s the Wild’s leading scorer calling an end-around on 3rd down on the fi- road, sandwiching a tonking of the Oilers in and has put up some highlight reel goals this nal drive. You need a timeout to come up with Edmonton (though that’s in the “candy from a season. He is the main threat tonight for sure. that, Throbbing Brain Martz?), turning the puck dead baby” category). But we can’t buy the Wild as a serious over and sending play the other way instead The Wild have vaulted themselves threat long term. They average getting outshot of keeping with the get-it-deep-and-go-get- into the playoff picture, though we -- and Wild by seven per game. Their aged goalies in it plan. The Flyers did pile up 19 shots in the fans for the most part -- are not convinced it Niklas Backstrom and Jose Theodore both have period, but they came in a set of flurries rather is for the long haul. They sit merely two points save-percentages over .915, and only Back- than sustained pressure throughout the 20. It out of eighth. They boast a pretty decent 13- strom can be counted on to keep that up, but was still a one-goal game. Sadly, a mistake by 8-2 record on the road, but are merely .500 at he can’t be counted on to stay healthy. While Brian Campbell, who’s been mostly mistake- home, which they’ll have to improve if they’re coach Todd Richards has employed this up- free all season, let the Flyers in for a second tempo system, it does call for some reliable serious about this playing in late April thing. continued on page 2 and that was about that. There are two big stories on the Wild Still, that was only the Hawks second loss in regulation in the last nine, and no one’s going to complain about that pace. As we thought might happen, the Hawks game is slowly kicking into gear, and one facet might be some continuity with Coach Quenneville not hitting the Line Slot Machine in the past ten minutes. Either way, it’s imperative the Hawks head into the break with another two points tonight. A win would separate the Hawks from the Wild, who are 10th in the Conference, by five points, and that’s a solid cushion for now. I Want To Win A Face...Off One glaring problem the Hawks do have, which has been exposed like Britney Spears’s treasure the past two games, is fa- ceoffs. It’s hard to be a puck possession team if you have to constantly chase it down. They may not have the personnel to be as good as they were at the dot last year, as John Madden is gone and Patrick Sharp hasn’t showed the effectiveness he once did. Jake Dowell had a nice streak, but that’s gone away recently, and Jonathan Toews simply can’t take every draw. Dave Bolland has always been a disaster in the circle, and doesn’t seem to change tactics. Watch him, he’ll take one swipe and if he “Well, I guess it could be worse.” From The Editor One of the reasons I decided to do this for the most part, don’t like Jay Cutler. I get it, I’m back in 2008 was that I thought being a part of the sure if I met him in person I’d think he was a total Hawks fandom was one of the cooler things to be in twat. That makes him have something in common Chicago. This week has only confirmed that. with about 75% percent of the world, and that’s prob- VOL. III, Issue #29 I have found the aftermath of the Bears ably being a little generous. I only judge athletes by playoff loss on Sunday about as sad as this city what I see on the field. The rest? Couldn’t care less. has ever produced. I know Chicago has a higher- I don’t go hang out at the places they hang out, can’t than-normal meatball quotient than other towns. I afford to eat where they eat, and I don’t a rapport The Committed Indian accepted that long ago. I know the Bears collection with them to do my job. Athletes like Cutler get a Established Oct. 31st, 2008 of fans probably exhibit this the worst. I don’t know rough ride from the media because he makes their www.secondcityhockey.com when this has started, maybe it’s gone on my whole job harder, and they can be a vindicitve bunch. It www.twitter.com/2ndcityhockey life. I know it wasn’t helped by being glorified on would be better if he were a good quote who opened Saturday Night Live by the “Superfans” sketch, even up, but he’s not. And that doesn’t matter. though that was making fun of all them. Suddenly it Look, I bet if I met most of the Hawks Publisher & Editor-In-Chief became fashionable to worship Ditka and be fat and in person, I wouldn’t like most of them. I know I Sam “T-Pain” Fels have creepy mustaches. I am a Bears fan, but much wouldn’t like Patrick Kane, based on stories I’ve like the rest of the country, one is punished in that heard from friends who have had encouters with him. union for using your brain. Without going into detail, he just strikes me as an Columnists This is not a football publication, so I won’t arrogant ass in person, who could be carrying any Chris Block get into the minutiae of what happened and who’s number of STD’s. And I just don’t care. I only get The Fifth Feather tough and who’s not (but if Viktor angry with Kaner when I think his Stalberg were half as tough as Jay dedication to the game is not there. Cutler, he’d score 30 goals), but If Kane gives everything he has on Second City Hockey.com something will happen this summer the ice, he can do whatever he wants Matt McClure that could only happen with the and act however he feels off it. It Matthew Killion Bears. The dumbass quotient of doesn’t matter to me. But because their fandom very well may run Jay he gives a good quote to the press, Adam Hacker Cutler out of town. And that’s the he gets a free pass.