Spring 2013 Journal of the Integral Yoga of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother Vol. 38, No. 1

Zackaria Moursi: Preparing for the winter journey • Ritam: The New World • Beloo Mehra: Search for a group-soul: The case of Indian-Americans • Ruth Lamb: Individuation: Activating the four powers • Richard Pearson: On the passing away of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother • Pravir Malik: Personal transformation and power • Current affairs • AV almanac • Source material • Poetry • AproposSpring 2013 Collaboration • 1 About the cover Title: Psychic joy in the U.N. This is a greyscale reproduction of a color painting (pencils with Table of contents Collaboration, vol. 38, no. 1, Spring 2013 watercolor) by Mirajyoti (mjyoti@auroville.org. in) who has lived in Auroville since 1989 and formerly lived in the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. It is part of a collection in soft pastels which has been set to music on a DVD which is avail- From the office ofCollaboration able from the artist ([email protected]). Mirajyoti is also an editor and she coedited the Notes on this issue...... Larry Seidlitz 3 popular book The Hierarchy of Minds with Prem Sobel, among other works. Current affairs The authors and poets New study guides and e-books ...... Santosh Krinsky 4 Mandakini Gupta is a newcomer Aurovilian Matagiri news...... Julian Lines 4 who is on the editoral staff of Auroville Today. She Savitri Immersion at Lodi...... Lucie Seidlitz 4 may be reached at: [email protected]. Kailas Jhaveri is a long-time resident of the Sri FWE reaches milestone...... Jerry Schwartz 4 Aurobindo Ashram. She has written an account of her life in two volumes of “I am with you.” Ruth Lamb, R.N., Ph.D. (amaruthama@ya- hoo.ca) coordinates the Advanced Integrative Ener- AV almanac gy Healing Program at Langara College, Vancouver. Developing entrepreneurs ...... Interview of Chandresh Patel She is also an author and health care professional. Julian Lines ([email protected]) is presi- ...... by Larry Seidlitz 5 dent of Matagiri Sri Aurobindo Center and serves The Change-maker...... Interview of Gijs Spoor by Mandakini Gupta 7 on the International Advisory Council of Auroville. Pravir Malik ([email protected])is an Organizational Development and Change Man- Chronicles agement leader and consultant. He is an author and Preparing for the winter journey ...... Zackaria Moursi 9 works with the Stanford University Medical Center. Beloo Mehra ([email protected]), original- The New World...... Ritam 15 ly from Delhi, lived in the US for 14 years and then returned to India where she works at Sri Aurobindo Essays Centre for Advanced Research in Puducherry. Zackaria Moursi ([email protected]) ressides Search for a group-soul: The case of Indian-Americans ..Beloo Mehra 19 at the Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham ashram in Individuation: Activating the four powers...... Ruth Lamb 25 Lodi, CA. He has started to translate some of Sri Au- On the passing away of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother...Richard Pearson 28 robindo’s and the Mother’s writings into Arabic. Richard Pearson, a member of the Sri Auro- Personal transformation and power...... Pravir Malik 29 bindo Ashram since childhood, is an expert on flowers and plants, and a contributor to the book Flowers and Source material Their Messages ([email protected]). Ritam ([email protected]) is a Russian photogra- Reality and the Integral Knowledge...... Sri Aurobindo 30 pher, poet, and translator of Sri Aurobindo’s and the The divine Presence...... The Mother 31 Mother’s works. He shares the story of his spiritual journey and work in this issue. Angelo Salerno ([email protected]) re- The poetry room sides at the Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham ashram in Lodi, CA. He works in the ashram’s Ayurvedic busi- From Savitri...... Sri Aurobindo 33 ness, Auromere, is a gardener, and writes poetry. The fane of the Himalayas...... Ritam 33 Jerry Schwartz ([email protected]) is the treas- To the spiritual muse...... Ritam 34 urer for the Foundation of World Education and has served on its board for many years. Touch of the Lord...... Angelo Salerno 34 Larry Seidlitz ([email protected]) resides in A prayer and an answer...... Kailas Jhaveri 35 Puducherry and works as an editor for Collaboration, Auroville Today, and on books related to Integral Yoga. Lucie Seidlitz ([email protected]) is associ- Apropos ...... 36 ated with Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham in Lodi, CA. She is an associate for Collaboration and also volunteers for Auroville-International USA.

2 • Collaboration Spring 2013 From the office of Collaboration The Photographers We have included in this issue several photos from Ritam’s exhibition at the Sri Aurobindo n this issue we have a quite a large assortment of articles. In our Current Affairs sec- Ashram which was entitled “The Beauty of In- tion, we bring news from several of our US centers. This is followed by AV Almanac, dia,” and featured panoramic views the Hima- which includes two articles which are based on interviews with two dynamic Auro- layas, as well as close-up shots of flowers and butterflies. Admittedly, these small greyscale Ivilians—Chandresh Patel, who lived in the US for many years, and Gijs Spoor from the reproductions do not do justice to the large, Netherlands. Both are creative entrepreneurs seeking to develop sustainable business exquisitely colored photogtaphs in the exhibit. activities in Auroville. Please see his website for color reproductions We follow with two feature articles in our Chronicles section. The first is by Zacka- of his photographs: http://www.savitri.su/ ria Moursi, an Egyptian by birth who has also lived in Auroville, Germany, and the US, and now resides at the Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham in Lodi, CA. In this series of Publisher: Collaboration (ISSN 0164-1522) vignettes from his life he reviews the significant events through which he was being is published by the Sri Aurobindo Association guided in his spiritual development, with a theme, he says, “of love, and how it can be (SAA), a California nonprofit religious corpora- transformed from the merely human into a more divine form.” The second chronicle tion, 2715 W. Kettleman Lane, suite 203-174, Lodi is by Ritam, a talented Russian nature photographer, poet, and translator of Sri Auro- CA 95242 USA; e-mail: [email protected]. Editor: Larry Seidlitz, 39 Vanniar St., Vaithi- bindo’s and the Mother’s works, who is a regular visitor to the Ashram in Pondicherry. In kuppam, Puducherry 605101 India; email: lse- this article he writes of his spiritual journey, his work, and their interconnection. [email protected]. The opinions expressed in Col- In our Essays section, we have a deep and introspective analysis by Beloo Mehra laboration are not necessarily those of the editor about the Indian-American identity, and of Indian-Americans’ search for their group- or the SAA. soul. Beloo, who is from Delhi, lived in the US for 14 years before returning to India Copyrights: Copyright © SAA, 2013. Pho- tos of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, passages to reside in Pondicherry, where I have been fortunate to have her as a colleague for the from their works, and excerpts from the books last five years. Here she examines her subject in the light of her own observations and published by the Sri Auro­bindo Ashram Trust are experiences, as well as in the light of Sri Aurobindo’s writings. © Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust unless otherwise We next feature an interesting essay by Ruth Lamb on the process of individuation, noted, and are used here with the kind permission which she defines as “moving beyond ego,” but requires as its foundation the develop- of the Ashram. Subscriptions: Send requests to: 2715 W. ment and integration of the ego until the point is reached when it can be transcended. In Kettleman Lane, suite 203-174, Lodi CA 95242 this chapter from her recent book, Human Becoming: A Guide to Soul-Centered Living, USA, or call Auromere (209-339-3710 ext. 2) with Ruth focuses on the development of four powers of the nature: knowledge and intel- your credit card information; A one-year subscrip- ligence, force and strength, harmony and adaptation, and work and service. She also tion (three issues) is $25 ($35 for airmail outside discusses the inner being and the witness consciousness and their importance in mov- the USA; a patron subscription is $50 or more). For India residents, send requests along with Rs. ing beyond the ego. Her work is squarely based on Sri Aurobindo’s spiritual psychology. 200 in the name of Larry Seidlitz to: Larry Seidlitz, We follow these with two shorter essays. The first is by Richard Pearson, who has 39 Vanniar St., Vaithikuppam, Puducherry 605101. lived in the Ashram since his childhood, about his first-hand reminiscences of the pass- Submissions: Collaboration welcomes writ- ing away of both Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. The second short essay is by Pravir ing, photos, and artwork relevant to the Integral Malik, who is an organizational management expert who bases his work on Sri Auro- Yoga and spirituality. Submit material by email to: [email protected]; or by post to Collab- bindo’s spiritual philosophy. Here he discusses the need to shift from the false and lim- oration, 2715 W. Kettleman Lane, Suite 203-174, ited egoistic perspective of things to a more integral outlook in order to achieve personal Lodi, CA 95242 USA. Collaboration cannot be transformation and power. held responsible for loss or damage of unsolicited In Source Material, there are several related selections from Sri Aurobindo’s The Life material. Letters and articles may be edited for Divine that describe the integral Knowledge and the integral Reality that we are in our style and space considerations. About SAA: The Sri Aurobindo Asso- essence and towards which we are evolving. Together, they complement the articles by ciation distributes information about Sri Auro- Ruth and Pravir and help to put them in a more comprehensive context. We then have a bindo, the Mother, and Auroville, and supports selection from Mother’s Agenda, in which the Mother describes her own physical experi- projects related to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Au- ence of the Reality, the divine Presence which is everything. roville, and Integral Yoga activities in America. The Poetry Room includes a mantric highpoint from Sri Aurobindo’s Savitri, and Current members: Lynda Lester, president; John Robert Cornell, secretary; Kalpana Patel, treasur- two poems by Ritam which were included in his exbibition: one on the fane (i.e. temple) er; Margaret Phanes and Angelo Salerno, directors. of the Himalayas and the other on the spiritual muse. There follows a short five line Collaboration Associates include Lucie Seidlitz. poem by Angelo Salerno in the Japanese ‘Tanka’ form, and a longer poem by Kailas Contributions: Donations for the work of the Jhaveri related to her experience of the passing of Sri Aurobindo. The issue closes with SAA, Auroville, and the Sri Aurobindo Ashram Apropos, a selection of revealing quotations about the spiritual journey on which we are may be sent to SAA. Donations are tax exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the U.S. Internal Rev- all fellow travelers. enue Code.

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 3 Bhuvana Nandakumar, who has moved to balmy Minnesota. Current Affairs Matagiri President, Julian Lines, has been reappointed to Au- roville’s International Advisory Council along with Dr. Vishaka Desai and Sir Mark Tully. Julian also serves on the board of the New study guides and e-books Nakashima Foundation for Peace and is planning to lead a tour for the dedication of the Hall of Peace in Auroville in February 2014. Auroville pioneer, Frederick Schulze-Buxloh, will be by Santosh Krinsky speaking at Matagiri April 27th as part of the Darshan Observed program. JV Avandanulu from Auroville will be teaching Stress The Institute for Wholistic Education (www.wholisticin- Reduction and Pranayama at Matagiri May 18th and 19th at stitute.org), in collaboration with Lotus Press (www.lotuspress. Matagiri. Aurovilians B (Sullivan), Vera and Ashesh will also com), is continuing its development and publishing of study be visiting Matagiri following the All USA Meeting in Oregon. guides for Sri Aurobindo’s major writings. Readings in Rebirth Please check the events section on the matagiri.org website for and Karma by Sri Aurobindo is now in final preparation and is program details. expected to be available by 1 June 2013. As a special offer to Sri Aurobindo study centers located in the USA, we are offering one copy to each center that requests one from us for your library and Savitri immersion at Lodi Ashram potential use as a study guide. The book is available through dis- tribution for sale as well. Kindle versions are being made avail- by Lucie Seidlitz able through Amazon for those who use either a Kindle Reader or Kindle APP on any other platform. The book is also going to During the week of the Spring Equinox, March 20-24, sev- be available on Google Books (epub) format for those who use eral members of the extended Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham Nook or ipad or other epub based readers. If you are interested in community gathered in the beautiful yurt to dedicate themselves this offer, or wish to arrange for copies for resale, please contact to the second annual Savitri Immersion Workshop. Mateo Need- by mail or email and provide your shipping address and contact ham and John Robert Cornell organized the event and formed information including phone. You also may email if you did not the core group along with Lucie Seidlitz, Mitra and Gaia Lamb take advantage of the earlier offer regarding the prior books in the and other devotees. Others were encouraged to join the group series (Readings in Sri Aurobindo’s The Life Divine, vols. 1-3 or at any time. The event, almost five days, was supported by the Readings in The Mother by Sri Aurobindo). entire ashram and included lodging; delicious, healthy meals; The next book of Sri Aurobindo’s being focused on is Es- and access to the restful meditaion hall and silent relics room. says on the Gita with daily posts at http://sriaurobindostudies. Each session began with the ring of a bell, a chant of three wordpress.com. OMs, and a brief meditation. The group members read in rota- Sri M.P. Pandit’s book Bases of Tantra Sadhana is being tion, 20-30 pages an hour, breaking only at the end of a canto. prepared for Kindle, Google Books, Nook, and IPad as an elec- I felt that our immersion into Savitri enveloped us not only tronic book at this time. It should be available in Summer 2013. through the beauty and rhythm of Sri Aurobindo’s words, but Other titles by M. P. Pandit in active preparation (or already also through the spring wind and the wildflowers peering into available) include Yoga in Savitri, How Do I Proceed?, How Do I the yurt windows onto our peaceful inner circle. Begin?, Kundalini Yoga, Teaching of Sri Aurobindo, A Summary of Savitri, Pitfalls in Sadhana, Readings in Savitri Vol. 6, and Readings in Savitri Vol. 10. A Savitri Dictionary by Rand Hicks FWE reaches milestone is also being turned into an e-book format. by Jerry Schwartz The Institute also sponsors classes on reiki, levels 1, 2 and 3, conducted by Karuna Krinsky. The schedule is regularly up- Since the late 1980s, The Foundation for World Educa- dated and can be found at www.reikiteacher.org. For further in- tion (FWE) has financially supported a wide variety of organi- formation: Institute for Wholistic Education, 3425 Patzke Lane, zations that are working toward the evolutionary transformation Racine, WI 53405; 262-619-1798; email [email protected]. espoused by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. FWE is happy to report that it has crossed a major milestone this year, in having Matagiri news granted more than two million dollars over time to programs and projects in Auroville, the U.S., and other parts of the world. by Julian Lines Donations to support the activities of the Foundation are always welcome. The Foundation also considers setting up endowment Matagiri recently appointed Tom Cowan to the Board of funds as a part of its Planned Giving program. For more informa- Trustees. Tom, who lives in Long Island, filled the vacancy of tion, please visit www.FoundationForWorldEducation.org.

4 • Collaboration Spring 2013 AV almanac

Developing entrepreneurship

Interview of Chandresh Patel by Larry Seidlitz

This article appeared in the March 2013 issue ofAuroville Today.

Chandresh, an ex-student of the Ashram school who later worked in the Silicon chip industry in the US for 22 years, tells of his life before Auroville and his work here supporting new ventures.

ow did your experience in the Ashram school influence and shape who you are today? Chandresh at his office at SaraCon in Kottakarai, Auroville. HMy parents and uncles were all freedom fighters, so from them I was quite influenced during my early years in the social aspect of India’s development. I joined the Sri Aurobindo Ashram After your education in the Ashram, what did you do? school in 1968 when I was 11 years old. In the Ashram, there was such an intense atmosphere, so it definitely had an influence. I worked in Pondicherry for four years with a company that In the school, there was a strong discipline, and although it was was started by one of the founders who had helped start Aurelec. flexible in the sense that you could choose what you wanted to The company was designing and manufacturing leather process- do, it was very structured. That helped in developing the ability ing machines and I helped develop some new digital electronic to focus and plan. The focus there was not on passing exams, but design products for the company. Later it also moved into design on getting a rounded education. In engineering we had a five year and manufacture of computers and I worked with the design course and were exposed to the three main areas of mechanical, team on these new projects. I was happy doing this work, but my electrical and civil engineering, and because computers were just brother who was in the US kept saying that I should come and coming up at that time, I also took computer science and digital check it out. electronics. Being so broad it was not like the engineering courses In the U.S. I worked in the electronics industry, first on the outside, but it gave a very rounded background with a hands-on East Coast where my brother was and later on the West Coast. emphasis. Slowly I moved into designs that spanned microprocessors, com- puters and later networking. I worked in many companies there Were you also much involved with physical education? and afterwards started a company which did design services consulting for bigger companies, mostly on networking, wireless In the Ashram, physical education was mandatory. Every day switching, and things like that. the students had to be involved in different activities—combat- Outside of technical work, in the mid 1990s along with ives, aquatics, gymnastics, athletics, games, and then of course some friends we started a weekly Sri Aurobindo study circle, there were competitions. There was a very structured program. which eventually expanded to having several evenings of read- That emphasis on athletics is something I have maintained. ings and a sports activity on Sunday mornings. In 1995 our This week over 3000 runners are competing in the Auroville mar- group also started going to the Lodi Ashram for their monthly athon. I started the marathons in Auroville in 2008 for Auroville’s retreats. Through this group I became a board member of the 40th anniversary, and even this year it is based here and I am the Sri Aurobindo Association of California which was involved race director. It is a huge effort, with about 20 team members in coordinating the All USA Meetings (AUMs), publishing the and about 250 volunteers. When I was in the US I used to run journal Collaboration, and helping to promote Auroville and marathons, and when I came here there were no marathons in the other projects within US. In 1999 our group along with AVI- area. My original plan was to have a run from the Matrimandir USA organized fundraising for the Village Action Group and to the Ashram and back again; that would have been about 30 land purchase in Auroville. km. But then I decided that we needed a marathon course within Through this fundraising work I was invited to join AVI- Auroville itself. It has been very successful; each year the number USA, and after joining I went to the general AVI meeting in Ger- of runners has been growing. many in 2000 where I was invited to join the general AVI board.

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 5 Then in 2003 President Bush started a preemptive war in Another project of this type is Urban Networks for which Iraq, and I decided that was it, I am getting out of here and going SaraCon provided a space in the complex until recently when back to India. Already for a long time I had been thinking of go- they moved to Town Hall; they are doing regional planning (See ing back, but that was my turning point. It took me some time to Auroville Today, December 2012). wrap things up, and in 2006 I joined Auroville. The second type of project SaraCon wants to support is those which would give maintenance to Aurovilians. In 2000 I Briefly take us through some of your projects since coming to started Avitra, a translation services. We have people from about Auroville? 30 countries here, so it is an ideal place for website localization, voice-overs, translations of books and brochures. That unit is I started SaraCon as an entrepreneur development centre. I doing okay; we have about 25 Aurovilians who get their main- came from Silicon Valley where many new companies had been tenance through that system. Another project of that sort was started with venture capital. The idea here was to create a kind AurovilleArts.com, an online gallery for Auroville artists so that of social venture pool to help young Aurovilians or newcomers their art could be exhibited online and sold. After three years of who had ideas to start an activity. It is very difficult to find a effort, the website was good but we had to close it because most place in Auroville to start something, and even if you find some- of our artists were not open to the idea. thing you have to deal with the cost of setting it up and the rent. We also started Auroville Consulting to offer management So the SaraCon campus was to become a hub for entrepreneur consulting services to companies outside using Auroville exper- development, with workshops on business planning, project tise. The idea here was to create a knowledge-based industry for support writing, and things like that. Once some activities had Auroville. Auroville has a lot of expertise in greenwork, for ex- started they could cross-pollinate and support each other. The ample, and the idea was that if companies outside wanted to take idea was to initially support a team for a year or two, and if the some initiative in this area, Auroville could provide some project team becomes successful, then any income over and above what management for them. they need for sustenance would be split three ways, one third to The third type of initiative was to support local Aurovilians the unit to expand and grow, the second third to the sustain and and local artisans. One example of this type of project is Well- grow the community, and the third would go to the pool from paper which had an office in SaraCon for two years, and now have which we fund other projects. But that part of the vision has yet moved to their own building. I have been involved in another ini- to materialize. tiative—growing mushrooms—using the same method of training Also, the idea was that we would support three types of pro- local people and microfinancing them through the Village Action jects. One type would help the community as a whole. The com- Group, and also helping with the management, quality control munity transport system is one of those. We did some research and marketing. Another project that has moved to SaraCon is Eco but the cost of a general transport system was too high and we Femme, which is making reusable sanitary napkins for women; couldn’t support it. However, we developed Quiet Transport, they moved into our complex about two months ago. Auro Crea- an electric bike project, and Auroville Community Transport tion which makes compressed earth block also has their manage- (ACT), a bus service as part of that. Both of these enterprises ment office here. Tapasya Design Studio had a sojourn at SaraCon are struggling to gain traction, however—the bus service simply for some time before they moved to their own offices in Humility because it needs more users, and the bike service because of the building which they designed and built. Many initiatives have unavailability of sufficiently durable batteries in India. started off here and then moved to their own places. Blue Light with which I have been involved started off at For some time I have had in mind creating a space for prod- SaraCon but has now moved to Town Hall. Blue Light represents uct development. Today if you want to create a new product in the open source movement in Auroville. Usually in India when Auroville, it is impossible to find a workshop or an affiliate to you buy a computer, the operating system and other software that do the job-work. There also are not many skilled artisans who is bundled with it are copied versions and not legal. So the idea can do this work. I am trying to set up a product design space was that at least all the services in Auroville could use Ubuntu, adjacent to Udavi school campus, where there are four big in- which is an open source operating system, and Blue Light also dustrial sheds which need sprucing up. Building a team to do the supported other tools that can be used on open source. Blue Light product design work is challenging, however, as is securing the had a team that would go to the units and services and convert funding to set this up. We want to have facilities for wood-work, their systems to open source, train their staff, and do networking metal-work, and fabric-making. We have found a team leader for so that backups could be done remotely. The Blue Light team con- carpentry work, and a team leader for fabric, we also have inter- verted almost 40 units to using Ubuntu. They also gave courses at est from some designers to be part of this new setup. So these the SaraCon office for people working in the units to learn how things are there but we will have to see how it can come together. to use these software packages, and also developed open source We can provide a place and some logistical help, but each activity software for some of the activities in SaraCon, such as for our bus will have to be self-sustaining. There are possibilities and we are transport logistics. trying to realize them.

6 • Collaboration Spring 2013 How do you view Auroville’s overall development? The change-maker The socio-economic development is a big challenge, includ- ing the availability of housing and a sustainable maintenance Interview of Gijs Spoor by Mandakini Gupta for the residents. There are many young and skilled people who come to Auroville but they do not stay because there is no place This article appeared in the March 2013 issue ofAuroville Today. for them and no maintenance for them. Even the volunteers who come have to contribute to the central fund while maintaining Gijs, a social entrepreneur, farmer, teacher and consultant, joined themselves from their savings. This is in contradiction to com- Auroville in 2010. Here’s his journey... mon sensibilities. In SaraCon we provide the volunteers with their basic needs—transport from Chennai and back, meals, an electric bike to get around, a little bit of pocket money. But other hat are your early memories of your turning-points units are not doing this. In terms of housing, there is a resistance which clarified the direction of your life? to building temporary housing because it tends to become per- W“My parents are film-makers. They had made a documen- manent in Auroville as people don’t move out because they don’t have the means or the will in the future. What is promised is read- tary on children in Rajasthan. I was 10. The story was about ily forgotten. Today, in Auroville most new structures are using twins—a brother and a sister. Due to sex discrimination, the girl reinforced steel and cement concrete. These rigid structures cost wasn’t allowed to go to school. However, when her father and a lot of money and take a lot of time and energy to build. Recently brother went to the Pushkar fair to sell their pottery toys, the I found out that the life of costly reinforced concrete structures is girl would wear her brother’s clothes and sneak into school. The only about 60-70 years, and yet in Auroville these are the types story was magical, my reality in Amsterdam where I was living mostly promoted. was so incomparably different. When the early pioneers came to Auroville, the land was There was a farmer from Rajasthan, Inder Dan, who helped uninhabitable. By default their main effort was greenwork. But my parents make this movie. He came to the Netherlands to pro- now the second and third generations of Aurovilians are here and mote it and visited us at our home. I remember very clearly the the socioeconomic situation is as barren as the land was for those image of this man—big bright turban, long beard, white gown, pioneers. There are not enough people, and so the community is there he was standing in our very Amsterdam kitchen making struggling with problems of money and cash flow, and many resi- his rotis (chapatis) on the open fire, without using a pan. ‘Wow, dents go abroad to work or build guest houses in their residences I want to go to where you come from,’ I told Inder Dan. All he to earn extra money. There is little money to move the economy said was, ‘Finish your education and then you can come work in forward, little to create new jobs and wealth. Forget about crea- my farm.’ tion, you create when you have the basics, but the basics are still So that was it, I knew that this is what I wanted to do! This lacking. idea stuck in my head for the next eight years. When I was fin- There is not enough concerted effort towards socio-eco- ishing high school I started preparing to go to his farm. I had no nomic development. The Auroville Board of Commerce (ABC) farming experience, so I looked at some local organic farms in is mostly focused on regulating whatever units there are with Amsterdam to gain some experience in farming. I also took a procedures, rules, taxes and loans, but it is not able to set aside any Hindi course and finally went to India and worked for a year at money or time for the development of entrepreneurship or new Inder Dan ‘s farm. projects within Auroville. This is left to the initiatives of individ- Inder Dan is a multi-talented guy. He is a farmer, poet, play- ual residents or newcomers. There is no group within Auroville wright, historian, manager and inventor. All my experience in reviewing business plans or encouraging teams, no corpus money farming and insights into politics, economy, entrepreneurship to support new initiatives. For Auroville initiatives, bank loans stem from the time spent with him. from outside generally are unavailable, and there are no means I had so many experiences and memories of this one year in to raise loans within Auroville except through a private party. India. All of these have shaped my life in a way that I am what I The economic situation in Auroville needs concentrated effort to am today—a change-maker. Inder Dan had these great ideas, he germinate new enterprises in a variety of fields with ongoing sup- was a social entrepreneur who was always experimenting with port, guidance and networking. Without this we will not be able business models and institutional forums. I was interested in to create a knowledge society. Due to the low population density, grounding his ideas. I would always tell him, ‘Let’s do it.’ the cottage industry model will not work for our residents, and I remember saying that just selling raw products wasn’t go- it is not practical to move workers in and out each day for low ing to bring the farmers a livelihood; we decided to go up the margin industries. Other micro-enterprise models have to be set value chain and have a retail shop. Inder Dan had been doing up to leverage skills where the best resources may be mobilized research and he knew how to make bread in a traditional way and optimum returns are possible. with a wood fired oven, and other exotic healthy bakes. One bril-

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 7 liant idea he had was to cook healthy meals for rickshaw pullers and in return they would do some advertising for him. He gave them t-shirts to wear which advertised our shop on the back. All the tourists would come to our shop. After this year in Rajasthan, I went back to Holland to get myself a university degree.

Did anything significant change in your belief system after this year? Did you face any challenges in Holland?

Yes, definitely. What changed was that I was determined to implement change where it was required. At my university I be- came very active in the student movement for voicing the truth. We realised how the system was chronically sick, it was always trying to restrict thinking. So we did everything to resist the poli- tics in the system and implement effective actions. We were quite successful in standing our ground. From left: Jessamijn, little Sijmen, Liesbeth and Gijs

How did you come to Auroville? really matters is to use all this factory set-up to change the world rather than to just make money. Five or six years after I had first We were a few friends from university who had all studied left Auroville I realised that, actually, Auroville is the place to organic agriculture. Two of them, Dave and Natasha, who today explore how to insert values into business. are Aurovilians, were also part of this circle. They got married to By now I was married to my wife, Jessamijn, who was also each other in India and it is through them that I came to know in our agriculture friends’ circle from university. We already had of Auroville. While we were all in India attending their wedding, a child and the second one was coming. I had been working too Dave, who had spent his career in Tanzania, Africa, convinced much and neglecting my family. We decided to quit Hyderabad us that Tanzania was the place to start our own organic farm. and come to Auroville. It was a decision to spend more time with We thought of buying a large 1000 acre farm to grow organic family, with values, with passion. It was 2010. fair-trade herbs. So I went there to prepare the transaction and to make a business plan. It was very challenging because the system So what have you been doing in Auroville since you returned? there was corrupt. We identified the land. It was beautiful land, it had a national wildlife zone, spring areas and an agriculture I came back to work with the Farm Group again. I was sup- zone where the soil was rich rich rich; we could grow anything porting them with planning, what to grow where, how to in- there. But there were five legal claims to the same piece of land crease consumption, matching supply and demand. After chart- so we decided to leave it. Our other obvious option was India, so ing the next five-year plan, I wanted to do something practical I came back. as well, so I worked at Foodlink distributing vegetables. Now I Dave and Natasha were already settled in Auroville, at Ever- steward a nine acre forest in Udumbu, where we also try to grow green. I came to spend six months with them in 2003, working food, but I am not a very good farmer. with the Farm Group doing research and preparing their first Meanwhile my daughter started going to TLC, The Learning five year plan. But the more I explored Auroville, the more I felt Community. This is a school where parents also dedicate their that it was too inward-looking and disconnected from the world time to teaching children. So I got involved with TLC, teaching outside. I really wanted to experience India. So I left Auroville and biology and science. After the first batch of kids graduated from went to Hyderabad. TLC and went to Last School, I continued teaching them the I started working with farmers in Andhra Pradesh, Maha- same subjects at their new school. It was very important for me rashtra, Manipur, Kerala. Everything I did was to do with organic to start infusing values at a very formative age in a child’s life. I farming and fair trade, which meant mobilising groups of small even tried including systems thinking in the classes. farmers and helping them to get access to high-end value markets. At Evergreen we started a systems thinking course called I set up two companies. I wanted to experience the mainstream Systemic Change. It is a three-day workshop where we help corporate sector, and I did. However, I also realised that what I people articulate the change they aspire to bring about, and wanted to do in the business world is actually to bring a change build the vehicle that will help them reach their goal. Last time based on values, and I couldn’t find a space to do that there. I still we had professionals from Bangalore who work with CEOs of remember meetings in Mumbai with these huge textile conglom- big companies like Wipro, Voltas, etc. By the end of it some of erates. We were not communicating. I couldn’t express that what them realised they needed a change in themselves. One of them

8 • Collaboration Spring 2013 decided to quit his job altogether. He wants to come back to ex- plore what he should do next. Chronicles My main passion is to be associated with a change in society. When we did these courses we realised that in three days there’s Preparing for the winter journey very little you can accomplish. In order to consolidate or ground these different practices or perspectives, we need to spend at least 10 days together, if not longer. So the idea came that instead of by Zackaria Moursi giving courses, why not provide regular coaching and support to those who want to bring about a change in systems. To Sri Aurobindo and the Mother: In eternal gratitude for the I decided we should get associated with UnLtd India, a incredible love and “divine cunning” with which they have guided launch-pad for social entrepreneurs. This is an Indian setup me through life. which ‘finds, funds and supports exceptional individuals whose ideas, passion and entrepreneurial skills can bring about long- Prologue term solutions to India’s social problems’. Right now we are in the process of becoming affiliated to UnLtd India. My targets his story is written as a succession of vignettes and snap- are to raise 30 lakhs (approximately US $60,000) in two years to shots of incidents that have moved me deeply or shaken support 30 social entrepreneurs in Tamil Nadu. As soon as such me when they happened, whose significance only much Tlater became clear to me. I see them now as the signposts of the milestones are achieved and we have proved to be a worthy UnLtd India affiliate, we can officially call ourselves UnLtd Tamil Nadu. road I travelled. They reveal moments when the Divine Grace Once this happens, UnLtd India matches 100% of the money we intervened most visibly in my life, or when my soul managed to have raised in the first year and 50% in the second year. This will break through and alertme of things yet to come. To me they are really help us in achieving our goals.” an irrefutable proof that we all carry in ourselves an entity that knows far ahead and better than our minds can ever know. From Have your views on Auroville changed since you first left this point of view, I hope my story will be of interest to other Auroville? seekers as well. The theme threading throughout the story is that of love, Yes, they have. Today I believe Auroville has a great potential and how it can be transformed from the merely human into a to be a R&D hub for the world by experimenting with different more divine form. It is the topic that has fascinated and chal- models. Compared to when I first came to Auroville ten years lenged me most in my life. The plot progresses through three ago, I see more initiatives in Auroville now in reaching out to stages of growth in which I have experienced love very differ- the rest of India in the field of rural development. SEDAB, for ently: the early phase of childhood and adolescence, in which example, the enterprise development programme in Auroville’s love was covered up by thick layers of unconsciousness, followed bioregion, could create a serious impact [see Auroville Today by the phase of manhood when love became conscious, but was #278, September 2012]. Another programme, IRD, Integral Rural still hampered by the domination of the head, and finally the Development programme, is still being considered by the central phase of maturity and ripeness when love slowly developed into and Tamil Nadu governments. If it is approved, we can work with an inner blissful self-giving without expectation of return. 20,000 rural families, and Auroville can become a hub for rural Parts of the story are written in the third-person, others in development for Tamil Nadu, and maybe even for India. The the first-person; some are written in the past-tense, others in question is whether we have the management capacities to deliver the present-tense. This can be explained by the fact that, while that promise. writing, I felt myself sometimes as a spectator dispassionately Auroville can bring a special flavour to the rural develop- reviewing states and stages, while at other times I was actually ment sector. One example of a methodology we can introduce is reliving incidents of the past. Though the story is a true account “presencing”—leading from the future as it emerges. This is de- of actually lived experiences, some details relating to other indi- veloped by C. Otto Scharmer from the MIT Sloan School of Man- viduals were modified, for obvious reasons. To write succinctly, I agement, based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. What he believes is had to leave much unsaid; I trust the reader will not mind weav- that if you are very clear about what you want to see happening, ing for him/herself a coherent picture from my few scattered and if you have also checked it wants to happen, then it will hap- brushstrokes. pen. The question is how you can collaborate effectively with its materialization and support it so it grows. 2012, on an autumn afternoon, Lodi, California I want to be connected to the collective, the outside world; that is my mirror. I see that as my karma yoga. When we talk His morning work done, and following his habitual rou- about change-making, inner work is half of the job, but the other tine, he carries his lunch and a few books to the little garden half is being effective in the world!” and installs himself in the sunniest spot. In front of him lies a

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 9 star-shaped lotus-pond where gold fishes the first time the entrancing mixture of and tadpoles swim merrily. The lotuses ecstasy, mystery, awe and bewilderment so have lost their bloom by now, but they characteristic for the first discovery of the are to him the symbol of the One who opposite sex. The scene both captivated has given him everything he cherishes in and shocked me and I could not explain life. Around him stand trees and blossom- to myself the fascination and hold it had ing shrubs; a little further behind stretch on me. That a man should adore a woman vineyards far and wide. Above him arches in that way was something that had never a marvelous dome of serene light dotted entered the field of my awareness till then; with little puffs of white clouds. and I was not even sure it was “the right Having finished his meal, he makes thing to do”. That moment marked the end himself comfortable in his garden chair of my childhood: the regaining of the lost and closes his eyes. He becomes aware of simplicity and unity of being was destined the waves of ecstasy and bliss coming to- to be the major aspiration and endeavor of wards him from all sides: from the roses, the following decades of my life. the birds, the butterflies, the bees and The first clue for resolving my conflict from the tiny lizards bathing in the sun came many years later, after I had acquired at the edge of the pond. His limbs become some familiarity with Indian spirituality heavier and heavier, as stillness settles Zackaria at the Ashram in Lodi, CA. and become aware of the inborn need in upon him more and more. Ecstasy and all human beings for worship and adora- bliss now begin to well up from his inner she left, I used to cling to her frantically tion. India taught me to see the Divine not being as well. In front of his inner eye, the crying for fear she might not return. only as the mighty Creator and Lord of sunny spaces of his life stretch with undi- That evening my mother was the only the Day of Judgment, but also as the lov- minished splendor; he can revisit coun- adult around who could feed the children. ing Universal Mother and the Goddess of tries where he has lived and commune She was in particularly high spirits, full of supreme charm and beauty… more about with people who have long since disap- tenderness and smiles. This little incident this later in the story… peared from his life. The self-torment, stands in my memory as the only time that disappointments and sorrows of earlier my mother ever fed or prepared a meal for 1953 years seem now shrouded in a soft haze, as her children. She was soon to succumb if belonging to someone else with whom to her growing depressions that kept her It was the end of the school year, and he has been intimately associated, and of mostly bedridden and totally absorbed in the students of the middle school had just whom now only memories remain. herself for the rest of her life. received their certificates. Though I was A state of wonder and awe gets hold the youngest of the class, I had the high- of him. He wonders about the long and 1951 est scores. The school bus dropped me in unplanned journey that took him, fifty front of our house; I galloped up the stairs, years earlier, from his native country, I must have been 8 years old when, for certificate in hand, to my father’s room. I made him study, work and live in many the first time, I became aware of the dy- knew how happy my results would make climes and meander in terrains he hadn’t namics between the opposite sexes. In the him; he had always maintained that suc- heard of before, only to bring him finally rarely-used study of my father, which was cess at school was the key to everything to his true niche: the spiritual community then my hiding place and sanctuary, I was good in later life. The school must have in which he now lives. browsing the shelves for a book not too informed him; he was waiting for me. I difficult to read. I grabbed a large volume can still see him coming towards me with Egypt, 1947 on the performing arts and was flipping beaming face and wide open arms, taking through it, when a ballet scene caught my me up in his embrace and covering my I was four years old; living with my attention: a ballerina standing on one leg, face with kisses. It was one of the very few parents not far from the Pyramids of Giza. with her other leg stretched horizontally; occasions in which he had ever shown me I still hear my mother calling for dinner; her male partner bending on her pointed his feelings, and it was to be the last one she had just heated a puree the governess foot, barely touching it with his hands, in as well. Paula had prepared for my brother and me profound adoration. The uncommon mo- My father was a self-made man who before taking off for the weekend. Paula tif of the scene, the beauty of the dancers, had managed to rise from middle to upper had been hired by my parents directly af- the elegance of the costumes and the grace class by erudition and hard work. At that ter my birth, and since then had rarely left of the movements seemed to me to come time he was working himself to death to us for more than a day or two. Every time from a different planet. I experienced for “secure a good life” for his children, and to

10 • Collaboration Spring 2013 spare them the battles he had to fight him- This incident stands in my memory as dawn. The much awaited “cannon” shot, self. Unfortunately things did not work out the exact opposite pole to the ballet scene, that announces the end of the day’s fast- as he had hoped. The military coup of July so full of adoration, tenderness and grace, ing, had just sounded: the men took a 1952 had just taken place a few months which had moved me so deeply six years sip of water, ate a few dates and arranged back, and the new regime was quickly back. The ballet scene left me with an ideal themselves in rows for a short prayer of changing the destinies of Egypt. As a fi- to dream of in the following years: I in- gratitude. They sat in small groups on the nance specialist, he must have sensed that tensely yearned for a love of total self-giv- floor around large dishes of black beans. A the fruits of his labor would soon be taken ing to someone I saw as higher, better and mosque clerk handed out to each a couple away from him. On that day, he had only nobler than I. I was not much concerned of pita loaves, a few shallots and a handful one more year to live. about the “practicality” or the chances of of dates. They took turns in dipping bread fulfilling such a highly idealized dream; into the dishes to scoop up mouthfuls of 1957 dreams have their own reality, and they the black stew. At the end of the meal, can make us happy, even when they don’t they lighted cigarettes and enjoyed the tea I do not remember how my older materialize. offered to them by the same clerk. Their brother and other classmates convinced What a comfort it was, when much voices became louder and livelier with me that evening to go out with them. I later I discovered, that my ideal and dream their growing sense of completed duty and had moved up a grade to be in the same had been, for millennia, part and parcel of the wafting of the cooler evening breeze. class with my brother; most students of the traditions of India: India that paradise Soon the Muezzin will call for the the class were two years night prayer; some older than me. A gang will perform it and had formed around my India taught me to see the Divine not only as the hurry to catch one of brother: his audacity, the busses that will physical strength, and mighty Creator and Lord of the Day of Judgment, carry them to the above all the family car but also as the loving Universal Mother and the less fortunate quar- he was driving without ters of Cairo where a driver’s license—all Goddess of supreme charm and beauty… they lived. Others combined to make him will linger on to their natural leader. listen to the Koran The evening started harmlessly of the soul where the Feminine is wor- recitations traditionally held in mosques enough; we all went to a late movie fol- shipped everywhere. I could see then how every night in Ramadan. They will soon lowed by a snack in one of the cafés of the worship of a Universal Mother and be ecstatically swaying to the rhythm of downtown Cairo. One of the boys sud- Goddess has given India much of its char- the verses, thrilled by the feats of the Bibli- denly suggested trying a new adventure acteristic charm, gentleness and tolerance. cal prophets, chilled by descriptions of the he had heard the guys of the higher grades I also saw how the gentleness and com- blazing hellfire that awaits the wrongdo- bragging about: “prostitute hunting”. The passion of the Madonna, the examples of ers, and elated by the rewards and boons gang approved; we drove to the outskirts the women saints and the works of caring promised in heaven for those who fast of Cairo where street prostitutes stand at nuns—have all prepared the ground in the Ramadan. They will soon have forgotten night waiting for customers. They found Christian world for a growing charity, wel- their aches and ordeals and will leave the a poor shabbily-dressed woman of vener- fare and social justice. mosque fortified enough to carry on one able age, who must have been so desper- more day. ate that she had to accept stepping into 1961 I liked to frequent this little mosque a car driven by crazy young teens. To not far from where I lived; the Imam in avoid police patrols, one of the boys had The sun was about to set on a hot charge seemed always to choose for his to drive around in dark streets, while the summer day during the fasting month of recitations the Koran passages I like the others took turns in trying their luck with Ramadan. Men, mostly from the disad- most. They date from an early phase of the woman in the back of the car. Finally vantaged class, were gathering in the foyer the Prophet’s mission, when he was still they stopped the car and let her out ac- of the mosque: policemen guarding near- a happy trader and living with his fam- companied by insults and jeer. I no longer by embassies, taxi drivers who had been ily in Mecca and in the habit of retreating recall if they had given her any money; confined to blistering cars all day long, alone to a nearby mountain to meditate. they didn’t have much of it in their pockets petty peddlers, street sweepers…. Their These verses are wonderfully mystical and anyway. The utter brutality and brutish- lips were visibly cracked from thirst; they poetical; they call for submission to the ness of what I witnessed that evening, still had been subjected to a ferocious heat all compassionate Creator, praise the mar- haunts me today. day, and hadn’t had a drop of drink since vels of his creation, call for brotherhood

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 11 and justice among men, and retell in a 1964 at that time, but carried around her the captivating way the stories of the Old and atmosphere of a girl of fourteen who knew New Testaments. The Meccan verses have The ship destined for Genoa, Italy, was nothing about the cares and complications a different timbre from the later verses re- still parked at one of the piers of the port of of life and who was still perfectly happy in ceived in Medina after Mohammed had Alexandria. I was standing on the top deck the fold of her family. Her joyfulness was taken on himself the charge of defending waving goodbye to college friends, who contagious; I felt totally at ease from the and organizing the growing community had travelled all the way from Cairo to see first moment, as if were sitting beside a of illiterate and unruly Bedouins that had me off. It was the end of October, the sky friend whom I had known all my life. To- followed him there. was overcast; Alexandria seemed forlorn ward the end of the trip, I had the strong How I wished then that the Meccan and desolate after the summer vacationers intimation that we would one day be hus- verses would be declared as the core of had left. Inside me things were quite dif- band and wife. I asked her if I may write to the Koran. A few years later, a Sudanese ferent; a new phase of life was about to be- her; she gave me her address. I proposed reformer dared publicly to suggest rear- gin for me. Hard work and “luck” helped to her in a letter, and after what seemed ranging the Koran chronologically in two me in securing a highly prized scholar- an interminably long time, she wrote she parts, one containing the “ever-lasting ship, one of the few offered by Western would have to consult with her parents be- message”, the other the “temporal” verses countries that were accepted by Egypt that fore giving me her consent. We were soon that were tailored to suit the needs of one year. The scholarship was the only way I engaged; marriage followed three years particular community at one particular could leave a world that had been steadily later. I changed university and moved to time. He was executed by his own govern- collapsing in front of my eyes in the previ- Munich, where she was studying, to live ment in 1985. ous ten years. I had to push myself to the with her and complete my studies there. utmost to reach this moment; and now it We shared together thirty years of life’s 1963 was there. I was supremely happy, and the journey, after which we had, with heavy ship was about to leave. I will not return to hearts, to separate. The last day of senior exams at the Egypt for twelve years, and by then, I will school of engineering, Cairo University. be a different man. 1970 With a heavy heart, I entered the electron- ics lab: my graduation project was not Germany, 1964-1966 Soon after our marriage, my wife working; it had to be tested on that day. asked me one morning: “Is something The project consisted in designing an os- In an earlier story, I have narrated wrong? Why do you grind your teeth so cillator covering a certain range of radio how discovering the writings of Sri Auro- often in sleep?” I told her reassuringly: “O, frequencies. The examiner looked in some bindo and the Mother [see: The Encoun- nothing, it is just a bad sleeping habit!” dismay at my ungainly box and started ter] while studying in Germany became This was not true though; a conflict was immediately to fumble around in my cir- the turning point of my life. To avoid rep- growing in me: the conflict between what cuit trying to find proper nodes where he etition, I will limit myself here to those I then considered my spiritual calling and could attach the probes of his testing de- inner developments and psychological ex- married life. vice. He turned the tuning dial: a sigh of periences of my twelve years in Germany For some time, I had been intensely bewilderment and relief rose up from my that were not mentioned there. practicing yoga according to books writ- depths. I could hardly believe my eyes: a ten decades ago for practitioners who perfect sine wave was standing on the os- 1967 chose, or were expected, to lead a celibate cilloscope screen! My circuit was working life. I was practicing on my own; there was after all; I had tried any number of times That summer scholarship holders hardly anyone around to guide me. I didn’t before, but could never bring it to do that. studying in German universities were know then that the Mother had recently The examiner must have changed, by his invited to an orientation held in one of launched the City of Auroville and invit- random fumbling, the stray capacitances Germany’s seaside resorts. They were to ed to it all men and women of good will, of the wires and components in a way that travel together by bus from Frankfurt whether celibate, married or in partner made resonance possible. What was the northwards all the way to the Baltic Sea. I relationships. My wife did not show much probability for such a thing to occur at the happened to sit beside a young woman; on interest in yoga; she had behind her a very exact moment that counted?! I had just ex- introducing ourselves we discovered we happy childhood and adolescence and saw perienced one of the saving miracles of my came from the same country and even the no reason to deviate from her former life. life. The examiner smiled, and something same city. In the casual conversation that In contrast to her, I had witnessed a lot in my soul smiled as well. Now the goal I ensued, we were further amazed to find of suffering in others and experienced it had strived so desperately to achieve in the out that our families shared some com- in myself; I wanted with all my being to past years seemed closer than ever before. mon ties. She was twenty one years of age change. When I discovered that Sri Au-

12 • Collaboration Spring 2013 robindo’s yoga was about the transforma- ness and exuberance. Watching her devel- bus trip thirty years before. In all these tion of man into something happier and op in this way was for me a much harder years, we had been to each other family nobler, I delved into it with all the passion ordeal than anything I had personally to and daily companions and we had gone and avidness of youth. I tried hard to live go through… together through the ups and downs of outwardly the normal married life, while life. It had been a good marriage; we had keeping yoga for myself. Things worked USA, 1884-1997 shown each other compassion and under- well at the beginning, but I was changing standing. Divorce became unavoidable, fast, and not always in positive ways. My wife and I managed rather well because we were yearning for two differ- After my arrival in Germany, I lost to survive the difficult years that followed ent worlds. She considered faithfulness to my former ambitions of worldly success our return to Egypt; we completed our family, tradition and heritage her first duty and was now trying to balance my men- Ph.D.’s and got teaching jobs in Cairo and was yearning for the happiness of her tally-lopsided education by playing music, universities. My health improved, even childhood. I was yearning to participate in swimming and enjoying nature. I knew though I remained somewhat weakened the preparation of a new world, in which from my studies that often beginners of and excessively underweight. My wife ignorance and suffering will no longer yoga have to endure hardships in the be- showed remarkable fortitude in deal- have a place. We both had to pay the heavy ginning before improvements become vis- ing with the whole situation. Sunshine price of living against the call of one’s ible; but I did not imagine that these hard- and hope returned unexpectedly to our soul. We both had tried hard to uphold ships would be as great and prolonged as lives when our applications to teach in the marriage in the hope that something they turned out to be. Health issues began an American University were accepted. might still come and narrow the widen- to crop up one af- ing gap between ter the other; I was us, but nothing constantly losing Knowing her has assured me that the archetype came. Finally weight. I needed of the Feminine I was dreaming of was not just a we had to admit more and more the futility of hours of solitude, mirage. Through her I discovered that what I always continuing a life and became less in which each of and less “fun to be wanted all those years was to be allowed to love. us was blocking with”. I had finally the other’s way. to consult a physi- The divorce cian, and was astounded, when he asked We moved to the US; our teaching con- was sealed; a month later I moved to Au- me after taking my vital signs: “How did tracts were renewed on several consecu- roville. On a couple of occasions in the you manage to leave your bed and come tive years. This qualified us to apply for following years, we urgently needed each to me in this state? Your blood pressure is citizenship, and we soon became Ameri- other’s help; and we had the chance to sup- dangerously low.” I lagged behind in my can citizens. Quiet and pleasant years fol- port and stand by each as we had done research and ultimately lost my scholar- lowed, filled with study, work, and occa- while married. On one of these happy oc- ship. I had to return to Egypt after twelve sional travel. Our situation became stable casions, we had a good laugh when one of years, my task uncompleted. Soon after enough to allow us at last to think about us remarked that our marriage has actu- my return, I met coincidentally a former having children, but when the gynecolo- ally never worked as well as when we were colleague of mine. He looked somewhat gist mentioned the risks of possible fetus already divorced! puzzled and did not recognize me at first. deformations when a woman conceives When I introduced myself by name, he after forty, we gave up the idea. It was a Auroville, Early in the new stared at me for a few seconds, bounced much bigger disappointment for my wife, millennium back abruptly making a full turn around than it was for me. himself and holding his head between his It was evening; no meditations were hands while murmuring: “Not possible! Houston, Texas, 1997 scheduled in the Matrimandir at this time. Not possible! What happened to you? What The cleaning team was performing its rou- on earth has changed you in this way?” I was sitting in the waiting room in tine tasks: vacuuming carpets, replacing My wife had tried valiantly to cope an attorney’s office. My wife was in confer- cushion covers, and polishing columns with the fact that the man she chose was ence with the lawyer, who, as is customary and stairs. Following the customary prac- changing on her without her being able to in Islamic tradition, was advising her to tice for Auroville new-comers to dedicate see any convincing reason for the change. reconsider her application for divorce. I part of their time to community services, She carried her grief in herself, which was reflecting with burdened heart on our I had opted to join the Matrimandir came at the expense of her former joyful- life together since we had met on a happy cleaners, a choice that would lead me to

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 13 one of the most significant experiences of amazement, faint surprise and deep un- proven to be exactly what I needed in my life. derstanding at the same time. There was order to understand that human love is The light emanating from the large no trace of indignation, defensiveness nothing but a tiny current from the uni- crystal, the perfect beauty of the design, or judgment in her eyes. It was as if she versal ocean of divine Love and that the the lingering aspirations of thousands was telling me: “O, I have been suspecting one whom we adore is only the gatekeeper who had already meditated in this sacred something like this for some time. I know who admits us into the eternal gardens space, all combined in creating in the In- very well what you are talking about. But of paradise… After her, the chapter of ner Chamber of the Matrimandir an un- surely you know you will have to leave it human love was happily closed for me; I earthly atmosphere. I could see her dart- at that?!” The few words she then uttered became ready to dedicate myself to the ing back and forth across the room doing confirmed what I had already perceived; next chapter: that of widening love into her work with remarkable skill and speed. she said smiling: “You will have to be very something… truly divine. From time to time she would beckon to me quiet now!” and with her usual ease she to help her lift a heavy object or reposition steered the conversation to a different topic. 2008 a carpet into its right place. Our roads had In the few months that followed, a crisscrossed a few times before in different mostly silent friendship grew between us. Auroville: My short visit to Auroville venues of the township. Though she was I had several chances to express by little was about to end. During my stay, I met, a key participant in several projects, she symbolic acts my devotion to her; she al- as usual, with my Aurovilian friend Wal- never pushed herself into the lime-light. ways received my gestures with dignified ter, and he has again suggested I should She was always going about one work or humility and simplicity. We were linked translate Sri Aurobindo’s and the Moth- another with the ease and cheerfulness of by our dedication to a common goal, and er’s works into Arabic. I had always suc- those deriving their happiness from an in- it was understood that this goal was the ceeded in evading his suggestion by one ner source. base of any relationship between us. I had “convincing” argument or another. Walter One evening, in the silence of the learned the art of deriving abiding ecstasy hadn’t given up; he mentioned casually chamber, suddenly an overwhelming and bliss from an occasional smile or a that a Japanese professor, an acquaintance wave of recognition and gratitude rushed tiny symbolic act. I had no need for more. of his, had just finished translating “The upon me: Here she was at last; the one for After a few months, I had to leave Life Divine” into Japanese. I cringed when whom I had searched all my life, the one Auroville; urgent matters waited for me I imagined what a colossal project that whom I could adore, just for the sake of elsewhere. My sun disappeared behind would be for me, with my technical and adoration. Since I was not expecting any- dense clouds for some time. Ultimately non-literary background, and with the thing in return, I was no longer subject to it reappeared, now transformed through shreds of Arabic still in my command. the fleeting joys and sorrows of human distance into a bright star that never fails The taxi that will take me from Au- love. In the following days and months, to guide me when I am in the dark. To this roville to the Chennai Airport was already I prayed intensely to be spared making a day, I can still in lucid moments feel her waiting for me outside, when Walter ap- fool of myself by putting a holy name on presence and see her walking ahead beck- peared on his motorbike. He pressed a a common passion. I searched my soul oning for me to hasten my steps…. book in my hand saying: “Translate this!” for any signs of reproach or disapproval, Knowing her has assured me that the It was a compilation of writings by Sri any warnings or foreboding of a pending archetype of the Feminine I was dreaming Aurobindo and the Mother with the title: spiritual disaster, but found none. Love, of was not just a mirage. Through her I “Integral Healing”. On the long flight back as I was experiencing it now, was very discovered that what I always wanted all to Cairo I read, at random, short passages different from what usually goes by that those years was to be allowed to love. I in the book. In the next weeks, whenever name… had managed somehow to live without I had a long break between the classes I It was the day before her birthday. being loved; what was much harder was was teaching, I tried my hand at translat- As “chance” would have it, I saw a vacant not being able to love. I started to see my ing a few lines at a time. It proved to be a spot at the table where she was sitting in bent for adoration in a wider context, and perfect complement to my purely men- one of Auroville’s cafes. To my question I no longer suspected it to be some kind of tal work. Slowly it dawned upon me, that if I may join her, I got a welcoming nod. refined eroticism. Many experiences had translating would be the perfect occupa- After lunch, I found myself telling her, been necessary to teach me how to love tion for me in my retirement. In a couple as if it were the most natural thing in the properly, but, once the lesson was learned, of months, I had already resigned from my world: “I have adoration for you!” Her re- the one worthy of love and adoration ap- teaching position. A month later I moved action will remain with me as one of the peared in my life. She has set me free from to the Sri Aurobindo Sadhana Peetham in most beautiful reactions I have witnessed my former romanticizing weaknesses and Lodi, California. in my life. She looked at me quietly for yearnings… All the deprivations, pangs Walter gave me the new focus for my some time; in her expression I could read and joys of my meandering path have life. I became more and more aware that

14 • Collaboration Spring 2013 translating Sri Aurobindo and the Mother into Arabic is the work for which I had The New World been unknowingly prepared all my life. by Ritam Epilog This essay served as an introduction to The sun has gradually shifted in the Ritam’s fourth photo exhibition in the Sri sky; he was now in the shade and was be- Aurobindo Ashram Exhibition Hall in Feb- ginning to feel the cold. He remembered ruary 2013. In it he discusses his journey. all the things he was planning to do that afternoon, but lingered a few minutes Thus we draw near to the All-Won- more hoping his inner voices might still derful have something to communicate to him. Following his rapture in things as When nothing came, he started to stir and sign and guide; to set his stiff limbs into motion. He knew Beauty is his footprint showing us that any further reflection and musing where he has passed… Ritam, photographer, poet, and translator. would have to wait for another day… —Sri Aurobindo. Savitri astonishing Reality, where even the most A mystic slow transformation works. daring dreams come true and there is no All our earth starts from mud and hese days we are celebrating the limit to the soul’s powers of self-expres- ends in sky, Mother’s Birthday. This is the sion and creative inspiration. And love that was once an animal’s Birthday of the New World, the We are all living already, at least to desire, T Miracle-World of the Golden Fairytale of greater or lesser extent, in this New Re- Then a sweet madness in the raptur- Divine Truth, Beauty, Harmony, Happi- ality of the miraculous Wonder-World. ous heart, ness and termless Freedom, the Wonder- And this exhibition is a part of this living An ardent comradeship in the happy Reality beyond our most daring dreams Miracle taking birth; it has become real in mind, and aspirations. This is the priceless gift most marvelous ways, as a whole series Becomes a wide spiritual yearning’s of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for us of miracles of Divine Grace. These pho- space. all. This Golden Miracle is already here, tographs, these prints, these poems for me A lonely soul passions for the Alone, already present, already very active and are all gifts and outcomes of the Divine The heart that loved man thrills to effective in the earth-atmosphere and the Fairytale of the New World, and my deep- the love of God, earth-consciousness. We can already see est aspiration was and is to share these A body is his chamber and his the marvelous outcomes of its presence marvelous bounties with all of you. That shrine. and action, we can feel it in many ways; is why I would like to describe how this Then is our being rescued from what is most important, we can live it. We exhibition took form and could manifest separateness; can live in the Divine Fairytale of a con- and what astounding miracles of Divine All is itself, all is new-felt in God: stant miraculous Grace weaving in Her Grace are behind it. A Lover leaning from his cloister’s Dance the marvel-space and the marvel- In 1990 I came across a book on Sri door ways for us. We can glide in the waves Aurobindo, and that has opened for me Gathers the whole world into his of the Miracle-Stream carrying us in its the doors into the Divine Fairytale of the single breast. tender loving current of Joy and Freedom New Creation. The book has changed my Then shall the business fail of Night to ever new “adventures without dan- entire world-vision and self-vision. Be- and Death: ger beautiful,” as Sri Aurobindo puts it sides, I was somehow deeply touched by When unity is won, when strife is in Savitri. We can soar on the wings of the few lines of Savitri quoted there. The lost inspiration of our soul in her inexhaust- first miracle was that I could find a copy And all is known and all is clasped ible creativity of happy liberty and spon- of Savitri in English in the State Public by Love taneous self-revelation. We can breathe Library in what was then Leningrad (that Who would turn back to ignorance the air of the Soul-Miracle transforming was an amazing miracle itself in that So- and pain?” our essence and tissues with its light-sub- viet period). That led me to start studying stance of tender starry honey-rays. We can Savitri. I would spend all my free time to —Sri Aurobindo wander in the wonderful, all-alive World learn English (of which I knew little then) (Savitri, from the canto, “The Debate carrying us in its embrace from miracle and would try to understand at least some- of Love and Death,” pp. 632-33). to miracle in the happy flow of the One thing in Savitri. That was another miracle

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 15 because before coming to It is here in the Ash- Sri Aurobindo and Savitri I ram that a few years ago I had practically no interest received the spiritual name in poetry. I did not have a Ritam. That was a turn- single book about Savitri, ing point in my life and no one to ask about it, no spiritual path, one more commentary on it; I did not undreamt-of-miracle of the even have my own copy of Divine Fairytale. With re- Savitri and could only study ceiving that name, it was and copy it in the Library. as if some new energy and But my aspiration to read consciousness started man- Savitri was so deep that ifesting suddenly, swiftly everything started coming. and very powerfully in my I met a high level teacher of inner world and conse- English who soon got inter- quently in my life. Ritam ested in Savitri too and has represents the principle of become my dear friend and dynamic Truth, Truth in helped me to learn English The Avatar. (Photo by Ritam) manifestation. Soon after and understand Savitri. She ies and translations of Savitri and other accepting this name I felt still helps me in the preparation of transla- works by Sri Aurobindo that I became a and witnessed how a great dynamic energy tions of Savitri. I studied under her guid- professional translator of Sri Aurobindo’s entered my consciousness and life, a new ance very intensively for several years. books. By now more than 25 books from consciousness and reality, the reality of a As the Mother revealed, Savitri is Sri Aurobindo’s works have been pub- sublime Beauty, Light and Harmony. What a mantra for the transformation of the lished in my translations in Russia. So was latent started to manifest quickly, what world. I also could feel its mantric in- miraculous a transformation I could never was in a bud started flowering. Projects fluence evident, to the extent that after a have envisaged or dreamed of! that lay dormant for years suddenly started couple of years of intensive studies and After years of trying to understand taking material form. Material energies attempts to translate lines of Savitri to and follow Sri Aurobindo’s path, many and means needed for the realization of the better understand them, I suddenly saw new understandings of life started grow- soul’s aspirations and inspirations started the poetic capacity opening in me. My ing in me, and I began to perceive some coming abundantly. The life got filled with translations of Savitri started taking more influences of the New World and the new an intensity and dynamism undreamt-of and more poetic shape and my own po- consciousness. In 1995 all of a sudden I earlier. A vision and understanding of life ems started coming to me spontaneously, got a miraculous opportunity to come for from another reality, from a world of ab- and after some time, even in English. As the first time to the blessed land of India, solute freedom and bliss, started revealing I have written later in one of my poems, the Motherland of Sri Aurobindo. It was itself within. That brought another state of which was dedicated to dear Nirod-da and the first foreign country I had ever visited. being and other creative capacities. The published in his centenary volume, about That became possible after Perestroyka in flowering of poetry is one of them, and an- his own poetic phenomenon, Russia, one of the outcomes of the New other is photography. World which is manifesting and bringing Touching his heart with His mighty more and more freedom to people. Since *** beam then India has become the deep and dear The Lord a poet awakened in him love of my soul. Since then I started com- My interest in photography started a And dropped so many a poem-star ing regularly to the Sri Aurobindo Ash- few years back when my sister presented From the distant heaven to his pray- ram, and I have had the amazing oppor- to me on my birthday a simple compact ing jar… tunity to have close relations with those camera. It proved quite good and simple whom the Mother herself had grown and to use, so I soon found myself expressing This happened to me too, and this is one nurtured, even with such disciples of Sri through the photos my deep love of Nature of the most unbelievable miracles of my Aurobindo as Nirod-da and Amal-da, that I have had since my early childhood. life flowing from the Golden Grace of whose influence was invaluable in my This intimate communion with Nature de- the New World, from its poetic breath of growing as a poet and as a translator of veloped greatly due to following the spir- Beauty and Harmony. Savitri and other works of Sri Aurobindo. itual path. I got very interested in express- With time, my literary and poetic That was another miracle I could never ing my communion with Nature through capacity got so developed by these stud- have dreamed of some years ago. my photographs of her beauties, first of all,

16 • Collaboration Spring 2013 her flowers. Thus I managed beauties of my Motherland. to create my first photo ex- The year 2011 marked an hibition here in the Ashram, opening of my photograph- “The Symphony of Beauty: ic creativity on a larger Simple Marvels of Russian public scale, and the exhi- Nature,” which took place in bition in the Ashram on the February 2008 and was ded- Darshan of the Mother’s icated to the simple natural Birthday was the best ini- beauties of the four seasons tiation of this wider presen- of my Motherland. That was tation of my creative work. only a humble beginning The exhibition aroused of my studies and develop- great interest here and it ment in photography, but was then shown also in the I put all my soul into it to Sri Aurobindo Ashram in express my deep love of the Delhi and in the Auroval- Nature of my Motherland ley Ashram near Rishikesh. and her beauty. I was very I was also invited to show happy when the exhibition Nanda-Devi: The birth of Light, The Mother of the World opening her Face. (Ritam) it in the Center of Russian was warmly welcomed by of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother which Culture by the Russian the audience here whose kind benevolence were published in Russia. Now to my ut- Consulate in Chennai (I had to decline the informed me with new inspiration and im- ter surprise this deep and almost inborn invitation since it did not fit into the sched- petus to go on developing in the way of interest in visual art suddenly revived in ule of my travel); later it was exhibited in creative photographic art. A special Grace me through the art of photography. With Tashkent in the Center of Russian Culture for me was the opportunity to present my the newly developing spiritual conscious- by the Embassy of Russia in Uzbekistan. humble photos to my Indian friends here ness it acquired a new dimension and a in the Ashram on the Mother’s Birthday. I much deeper vision. The Mother said that, *** felt it as a special blessing and it was also The modern photography has become very inspiring. Soon after that, by Divine an art, and like any other art it can be ex- Two years ago during the second Grace I got a higher level mirror camera, pressive of the soul’s vision. exhibition there was an extra exposition a Canon 450D. That was my true step into Now with the appearance of comput- in the last hall which was dedicated to the creative art of photography. It took a ers, very advanced digital cameras and photos of some of the beauties of the rich lot of effort to learn the more complicated printing technologies, it has become even Indian Nature. That exposition proved to processes of managing the mirror camera, much more so an art. With the possibili- be a fetus of one more exhibition sharing but soon I started to realize to what extent ties offered by modern equipment and with people the beauties of India which photography is a visual art, and it fasci- software one can create in photography so has become my second Motherland and nated me. It was one more miracle. freely and powerfully as one could never the Motherland of my spirit. Since my early childhood I have been imagine just some years ago. This fan- That exposition with some additional greatly interested in visual arts. I com- tastic development of technologies open- photos was for the first time shown as a pleted my studies in a School of Arts and ing new perspectives for creativity in man proper exhibition in April 2011 in Tash- then had an opportunity to enter the State is one more outcome of the New World kent at the Center of Indian Culture by the Academy of Arts in St. Petersburg. But at of freedom and limitless creativity of the Embassy of India in Uzbekistan. I showed that age, in my teens, I had a kind of inner soul manifesting itself. it again with still more photos added at crisis of feeling very acutely my incapac- Soon after my studies of photography our All-Russia Meeting on Sri Aurobin- ity to express satisfactorily what I felt was started, the spiritual name Ritam came to do’s Birthday in August 2011 in the sur- depicted in the object. So I dropped paint- me, and the new creative energy it brought roundings of St. Petersburg, and later at ing and drawing almost altogether. At that resulted in a swift flowering of my skill some spiritual seminars in St. Petersburg. same time, I found Sri Aurobindo and in photographic art as one aspect of the In October 2011, I was invited to arrange Savitri, and for almost 20 years delved growing soul’s self-awareness and crea- this exhibition in the House of Culture in deeply into poetry, almost forgetting visu- tive self-expression. the town of Omutninsk (in the northern al art. Well, not quite, for during all those Two years ago, my second photo part of Russia, Kirov region), and there years I was quite involved with computer exhibition, “Winter Fairytale in Russia,” it was for the first time shown as a full design in various ways, including making took place here in the Ashram’s Exhibition scale exhibition of around 40 photo-works the designs for the covers of many books House, and was dedicated to the winter called “The Living Beauty of India.”

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 17 This exhibition got an extremely good in which she converses with my soul and response, and I saw how the people of the with those souls that resonate with them. Russian provinces are thirsty for beauty These are messages of another world, and for a message of a more sublime spir- the World where everything is alive and itual life. It inspired me greatly and I got a everything speaks to you the words of its dream and an aspiration to go to India with soul, of the universal Soul. This is a World the best photography equipment and try where you can flow in the limitless em- to express the highest Beauty of her Soul braces of the living Soul-Space, bathing manifested in the marvels of her abundant in her soft substance of star-tender light Nature, and first of all, in the grand Hima- and quiet sweetness. This is the infinite layas. A new story of the Divine Fairytale miraculous World breathing as the one started in my life, and the outcome of it living Being of an ever-unveiling Mira- is the Himalayan beauty shown here, one cle, the myriad-dimensional Universe of more wonder-tale of the universal Soul. starry all-connected living marvels mov- In the year 2011 I had traveled in the ing in one span-less dance of universal Himalayas in the spring and there some Harmony and self-outpouring Bliss. Here kind of new inner opening came to me one can soar so freely with no bonds, no which was marked with some spiritual cares, no fears, no limits, rising to ever experiences that were deeply significant new revelations of Beauty and Light and for my inner life. It seemed to open a Joy. This is a World of New Conscious- new source of inspiration for my poetry ness, New Life, New Love. This exhibi- or some freer poetic capacity. For several tion is about this New World, and I hope years, I had almost not written any poems, The Temple of Himalayas (Ritam) you will feel and experience it with me feeling no interest in it and concentrating both in the photographs and even more instead on translations of Sri Aurobindo’s perfect as it is over Russian, but I tried so in the poems. My main aspiration is to poetry. At this time, however, new poems my best to prepare the English renderings share with you the abundant gifts of the started coming to me quite abundantly of my poems in the most adequate way universal Soul, of the Soul of India, of the and freely and spontaneously. Many of I could to share these gifts of the Divine Soul of Himalayas, the outcomes of some them are in various ways expressive of Grace to me with all my English-speaking deeper communion with her! the New Creation and new consciousness friends who may find these poems inter- The main themes of the exhibition manifesting upon earth. It was not coming esting. I am sorry for any possible inade- are the Himalayas and the world of butter- from my mental designs; the poems start- quacies in the renderings which hopefully flies. The Himalayas are the most valuable ed to come by themselves and were writ- can be corrected with the help of some gem in the crown of India, the treasure of ten easily and spontaneously like a butter- native English well-wishers. the whole world; their ageless beauty al- fly’s flitter. Many of them are very unusual In 2012, this photo exhibition was ways draws insatiate souls and the eyes of and unexpected even for me. After some shown here in February on the Mother’s people who are receptive to beauty. Here time, I saw that a whole cycle of poems Darshan. In the summer I was invited to are presented some Himalayan images in had formed itself which I called “Songs present it in Moscow at the Museum of which I aspired to express their sublime of the New Creation.” Mostly I write po- Nicolas Roerich, famous Russian painter, eternal Soul.You will also find here some ems now in Russian, my native language poet, and cultural and public figure. There flowers and some birds of India, just as a of which I have full command. But I find it was a large scale exhibition with many brief glance, for both these themes are so deep delight in translating these poems large photos and accompanying poems for rich that each requires a special exhibition. into English which lets me re-experience them. The exhibition got a very positive This is my fourth photo exhibition in the original poems and their inspiration response and now is being shown in other the Ashram, and I am extremely grateful to and to re-express them in another lan- cities of Russia. This year the same exhi- the Divine Grace and to all the people of guage, often in a somewhat different way. bition is being presented here with many goodwill concerned with it for this marve- Thus usually two versions of the same po- new and reworked photos as well as new lous opportunity to share with my Indian etic expression or creative vision come poems, also at the request of many who friends these outcomes of the creative as- out. The English language is so rich and could not see it a year ago. piration of my soul, the gifts of the One flexible which gives a great opportunity These photographs and poems are Soul in all. And I am most happy to express to translate adequately the original poems the outcome of some deeper communion my deepest gratitude to all my dear ones, from Russian into English. Still, my com- with the universal Soul in all, her price- relatives and friends whose invaluable help mand over English is, of course, not so less gifts to me, her language of Beauty and support made this exhibition possible.

18 • Collaboration Spring 2013 standing the bi-cultural identity struggles, Essays including the need to maintain a separate Indian identity along with a selected as- similation in the larger American iden- Search for a group- tity. These struggles sometimes get inter- twined with the struggles to define what it soul: the case of means to be Indian—an identity which is Indian-Americans not static and unified but is shifting, evolv- ing, and inherently diverse and multiple. While most of the times these struggles by Beloo Mehra occur at the level of individual and family as they emerge within the context of in- search begins… I lived in the US teractions with the larger American com- for more than 14 years; December munity, often these struggles also take a 15, 2006 marked the completion more public form when these issues are Aof 14 years, and I moved to Pondicherry, discussed in Indian-American media— India in August 2007. What I share in this print and electronic. (Internet is buzzing exploratory essay is based on my personal with numerous websites that allow Indi- observation, experience and reflection as an-Americans to discuss and debate these an Indian-American. Without claiming issues of identity.) any generalization I present my evolving Beloo Mehra. The identity politics debates also and emerging view in the light of which I take place at the level of representation have started to make sense of the bi-cul- successful Indian-Americans are begin- of one’s group-identity in the larger so- tural experience that shaped my life and ning to pay attention to their dual-citizen- cial discourse. Indian diasporic collective experience for many years. ship-related responsibilities. For the most identity in the US is partly constructed First, a few basic facts. The magnet- part, these responsibilities take the form by the representations they see of their ism of ‘The American Dream’ attracts of social involvement in activities, such as ‘imagined homeland’ (India) in the me- people from all over the world who make organizing Indian cultural programmes, dia, textbooks, or even in the US policy their homes in that land of opportunity. fund-raising and campaigning for con- toward India. The activism of several In- Starting in late 1960s, as a result of chang- struction of temples and community cent- dian-American social and political groups es in the US immigration laws (passage of ers, advocating for correcting the misrep- reflects how identity is being shaped and Public Law 89-236, 1965) scores of Indian resentations of India and Indian culture even re-structured by the India-related families began migrating to the United in American textbooks, and other similar discourse constructed through these rep- States. There are now well-established In- ‘identity politics’ related activities that resentations. This activism suggests how a dian communities in large urban centers, have sooner or later captured the collec- marginalized cultural group seen as ‘Oth- such as New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, tive imagination of all immigrant groups er’ by the majority in the US resists be- and San Francisco. Immigration data and in the US. At other times, the social and ing essentialized and stereotyped through the US census records show that Indians political activism of several Indian-Amer- these representations. are among the fastest growing immigrant icans manifests in other forms, such as Sri Aurobindo’s social philosophy groups in the US. financially supporting various social and gives me a valuable framework to make Over the years, groups of Indian- economic development programs in India, sense of some of these Indian-American Americans have been highly successful at active political campaigning for causes that behaviors and patterns of collective di- realizing their Indian-American Dreams impact the US–India political relationship, asporic identity formation. The concept of comfortable upper middle class lives. and exerting political pressure to influence of collective egoism helps explain how Their children have now become highly US policy regarding India. one begins to assert one’s distinct social paid doctors, engineers, and some are now Thus, the Indianized version of The identity, as an Indian among Americans, even writers, musicians and actors; and American Dream is well on its way of as a Hindu among non-Hindus, as a mi- their grandchildren are attending expen- being defined and refined, and for many nority that is different from American sive elite schools learning all the neces- socially conscious Indian-Americans this majority. Is such visible demonstration of sary stuff needed to become even more version also includes an ever-growing difference and separateness—on the level successful than their parents and grand- awareness of their Indian identities. In of individual or group—merely a show of parents. And now after having ‘arrived’ on most cases this growing awareness in- pride, a massaging of individual-ego and the economic scene, many of these highly corporates deliberate attempts at under- group-ego, or lurking underneath and

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 19 behind all of this is there some veiled truth Indian or American—are static or uni- its corporate action and mentality of the connection between individual- form. These terms are inherently divided, and its organic self-expressive life soul and group-soul? Can this collective diverse and dynamic, and may convey dif- (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 35). self-assertion by Indian-Americans be a ferent meanings to different people, there- necessary step—however crude, obscure fore the outward forms of group-identity Like the relation between an individ- and vague—by which the group begins on of Indian-Americans will be multiple, ev- ual body and soul, so is the case with the its journey to become self-conscious, self- er-shifting and changing. And these out- group-soul. Sri Aurobindo describes the aware in a search for its group-soul? What ward forms will carry in them the nature identity of nature between an individual might that group-soul be? These are some and consequences of the strife and mutu- soul and group-soul as follows: questions I wish to explore in the remain- ality between individualistic self-assertion der of this essay, in the light of Sri Auro- and collective self-assertion. There is only this difference that the bindo’s thought. The tentative and explora- Pointing out a “real identity of na- group-soul is much more complex tory nature of this analysis requires a free- ture” between an individual’s and society’s because it has a great number of flowing narrative and a loosely-structured conscious, half-conscious or obscure un- partly self-conscious mental indi- argumentation style. conscious groping and attempts at “self- viduals for the constituents of its formulation,” Sri Aurobindo writes: physical being instead of an associa- Individual and group-ego, tion of merely vital subconscious individual and group-soul … the primal law and purpose of cells. At first, for this very reason, a society, community or nation is it seems more crude, primitive and Human life is moved by two equally to seek its own self-fulfillment; it artificial in the forms it takes; for powerful impulses, one of individu- strives rightly to find itself, to be- it has a more difficult task before alistic self-assertion, the other of come aware within itself of the law it, it needs a longer time to find collective self-assertion; it works by and power of its being and to fulfill itself, it is more fluid and less easily strife, but also by mutual assistance it as perfectly as possible, to realise organic. When it does succeed in and united effort: it uses two diverse all its potentialities, to live its own getting out of the stage of vaguely convergent forms of action, two self-revealing life (Sri Aurobindo, conscious self-formation, its first motives which seem to be contra- 1997, p. 35). definite self-consciousness is objec- dictory but are in fact always coex- tive much more than subjective. istent, competitive endeavour and He reminds the readers that this real And so far as it is subjective, it is apt cooperative endeavour. It is from identity of nature between individual and to be superficial or loose and vague. this character of the dynamism of society exists because like an individual, This objectiveness comes out very life that the whole structure of hu- society is also a being: strongly in the ordinary emotional man society has come into being, conception of the nation which and it is upon the sustained and vig- … a living power of the eternal centers round its geographical, its orous action of this dynamism that Truth, a self-manifestation of the most outward and material aspect, the continuance, energy and growth cosmic Spirit, and it is there to ex- the passion for the land in which we of all human societies depends (Sri press and fulfill in its own way and dwell, the land of our fathers, the Aurobindo, 1997, p. 157). to the degree of its capacities the land of our birth, country, patria, special truth and power and mean- vaterland, janma-bhūmi. When we The geographic dislocation of Indians ing of the cosmic Spirit that is with- realise that the land is only the shell to the US often forces them—consciously in it. The nation or society, like the of the body, though a very living or subconsciously—to rediscover and re- individual, has a body, an organic shell indeed and potent in its influ- shape the forms in which the dynamism life, a moral and aesthetic tempera- ences on the nation, when we begin of their individual and collective life-force ment, a developing mind and a soul to feel that its more real body is the manifests. These forms are also moved by behind all these signs and powers men and women who compose the the cooperative and competitive motives, for the sake of which they exist. One nation-unit, a body ever changing, as they must involve a synthesis of at least may say even that, like the individu- yet always the same like that of the two parallel self-discovery processes, their al, it essentially is a soul rather than individual man, we are on the way attempts at locating their psychological has one; it is a group-soul that, once to a truly subjective communal connection with the collective psychologi- having attained to a separate dis- consciousness. For then we have cal history and memories of two collectiv- tinctness, must become more and some chance of realising that even ities—Indian and American. Of course, as more self-conscious and find itself the physical being of the society is a we know neither of these two identities— more and more fully as it develops subjective power, not a mere objec-

20 • Collaboration Spring 2013 tive existence. Much more is it in this developing awareness that there is a A psychic self-knowledge tells us its inner self a great corporate soul glimmer of next level of awareness that that there are in our being many with all the possibilities and dangers underneath the shell needs to be discov- formal, frontal, apparent or repre- of the soul-life (Sri Aurobindo, ered the more subjective meaning of living sentative selves and only one that 1977, pp. 35–36). the Indian life in India. So the children of is entirely secret and real; to rest in ‘tourist’ Indians from New York now also the apparent and to mistake it for In the light of this quote a few ques- go for three-month ‘learning’ stay in India the real is the one general error, root tions emerge. How do we make sense of through their colleges’ study abroad pro- of all others and cause of all our the enthusiasm of the diasporic emotions? gram. Also, there are now organizations stumbling and suffering, to which Are the diasporic Indians still at the stage like Indicorps (http://www.indicorps. man is exposed by the nature of his of discovering the “shell of the body” or org/) which help them experience—even mentality. We may apply this truth is there something deeper going on here? if it is for a short period of time—selected to the attempt of man to live by the Let me examine these questions before aspects of the subjective consciousness of law of his subjective being whether proceeding further. selected sections of Indian people. as an individual or as a social unit Diasporic Indians have a concrete To continue our analysis of the In- one in its corporate mind and body physical experience of separation from the dian-American collective experience, I (Sri Aurobindo, 1977, p. 44). “shell of the body” and are therefore more invoke now Sri Aurobindo’s description prone to live in their I propose that emotions that are behind the sensa- intensely about ex- The enthusiasm of diasporic Indians is about tional-vitalisitic pressing the “shell of this mental, emotional construction of the “shell attempts of Indian- the body” and vicari- American commu- ously living in unity of the body,” not necessarily the real, concrete nities to play the with it. They have— shell that surrounds Indians living in India in its game of identity with their own men- politics, to assert tal and vital view of throbbing, breathing, living truth. its collective self, to things—constructed passionately engage an image of “shell of the body” that may of the “objective” or “superficial or loose in social-political activism, there may be not be the same as the shell of the body and vague” subjective attempts of a group’s deeply hidden and remote signs of the that Indians in India experience. So they striving for becoming self-conscious. This group-soul of Indian-Americans trying go on month-long ‘India’ vacations when provides an appropriate framework to un- to find its true “subjective communal con- they travel the sites that they feel represents derstand why a group of Indians removed sciousness.” I wish to quickly add here that their India—old palaces now converted from their “janma-bhūmi” would develop in most cases this may not be a conscious into expensive hotels, old forts that tell the a strong connection with the emotional attempt, but perhaps the attempts to dis- glorious history of their homeland, reli- conception of the nation which centers cover or forge even a physical-vital com- gious places where they feel reconnected around the most outward and material as- munal consciousness may be the first and with their heritage, and yes, even Ameri- pects. These connections resulting from essential step. can-style shopping malls that make them a strong affiliation to their group-identity The emphasis placed by individual feel they don’t need to sacrifice the little (illustrated by the earlier-mentioned iden- Indian-Americans on preserving the out- physical comforts of American-style life. tity politics-driven examples) and result- ward forms of Indian identities as reflected The enthusiasm of diasporic Indians ing in passion-driven social and political in proliferation of desi restaurants, stores is about this mental, emotional construc- activism on behalf of their group exist and markets, cultural events and commu- tion of the “shell of the body,” not necessar- on the outer and apparent surface, and nity celebrations of Indian festivals, na- ily the real, concrete shell that surrounds hence can be seen as individual ego-self tive language classes for children, Sunday Indians living in India in its throbbing, feeding itself off the group-ego and vice classes to ensure that next generations of breathing, living truth. This real shell in- versa. But, does this connection between Indian-Americans know their religious cludes all that the ‘tourist’ Indian coming apparent individual identity and appar- and spiritual traditions, pujas and satsangs from New York does not visit for ‘seeing’. ent group-identity hide in its womb some- at temples, and many other similar activi- But because of this very construct- thing deeper, something more real than ties can be explained as a: ed nature of the shell of the body that this, or something struggling to reveal and diasporic Indians are discovering, they find itself? If we agree with Sri Aurobindo’s … vague sense of … subjective ex- are becoming more aware that this con- meaning and interpretation of group-soul, istence at work even on the surface struction is a subjective one. And it is in our answer may be ‘yes’: of the communal mentality. But so

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 21 far as this vague sense becomes at self into a collective-ego-self, a group-ego The more this group of immigrants all definite, it concerns itself mostly which is separate from other group-egos to the US gets organized and emerges into with details and unessentials, na- surrounding them (European-Americans, a separate collective-ego, the more it in- tional idiosyncrasies, habits, preju- African-Americans, Latino-Americans, teracts with other collective-egos in both dices, marked mental tendencies. It Chinese-Americans, Korean-Americans, cooperative and competitive ways. is, so to speak, an objective sense of etc.). At the same time there is a tendency subjectivity … It [the community] to further expand the collective ego-self But since the society is one compet- clings indeed always to its idiosyn- as reflected in identities, such as South itive unit among many of its kind, crasies, habits, prejudices, but in a Asian-Americans, Asian Americans, and since its first relations with the blind objective fashion, insisting on and other similar collectivities. There are others are always potentially hostile, their most external aspect and not also signs of conflict between the iden- even at the best competitive and not at all going behind them to that for tity labels of Indian-Americans and South cooperative, and have to be organized which they stand, that which they Asian-Americans. In some ways, this em- in that view, a political character is try blindly to express (Sri Aurobindo, phasis on ‘being different from others’ also necessarily added to the social life 1997, p. 37). acts as an important resistance against the … (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 162). uniform-izing tendency of The American This suggests that behind the initial Dream. The political campaigns led by sev- stumblings and strivings of Indian-Amer- With the “full rationalistic flowering” eral Indian-Americans—on individual icans to cling to their “idiosyncrasies, hab- of Indian-Americans’ “instinct of collec- and group levels—are a reflection of their its, prejudices, marked mental tendencies” tive life” (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 162), becoming a politically-conscious social manifested in attempts to deliberately over time their individual, familial and unit in themselves. Because of the divided identify with, preserve and protect the small group strivings to discover a subjec- nature of their “collective self-assertion” outward ways of being ‘Indian’ might be tive consciousness get more organized and (Indian and American), the nature of something which is trying to express itself, visible. This attempt at collective organi- their social and political activism takes the true subjective consciousness. In some zation translates into social and political such forms as campaigning for or against form and to some extent this expansion of activism and gets reflected in emergence causes that are generally about some of individual ego into a collective one helps of numerous Indian-American social, cul- the ways their perceptions of India or transcend the limits of individual egoism tural, and political organizations. This fur- Indian-ness either competes or cooper- (concerns about self and family) by be- thers the evolution of Indian-Americans ates with their perceptions of America or ing concerned about larger egoism of the as a separate group-ego or a collectivity, or American-ness. group (e.g., how can Indian-Americans even a society within the larger American “The primary impulse of life is indi- and South Asian-Americans get more so- society. And it serves an important pur- vidualistic and makes family, social and cial, political recognition). As Sri Auro- pose for the individual Indian-Americans national life a means for the greater sat- bindo writes: by giving them a collective identity and isfaction of the vital individual (Sri Au- meeting their collective vital needs. robindo, 1997, p. 159). The modern idea In society he [the individual] finds of society is founded upon the primary a less intimate but a larger expan- For the society is only a still larger and predominant part played by this vital sion of himself and his instincts. vital competitive and cooperative dynamism in the formation and mainte- A wider field of companionship, ego that takes up both the individu- nance of society, according to Sri Aurobin- interchange, associated effort and al and the family into a more com- do. In this respect, the social or collective production, errant or gregarious plex organism and uses them for ego-assertion gives an individual a solid pleasure, satisfied emotion, stirred the collective satisfaction of its vital grounding to grow into oneself and to sensation and regular amusement needs, claims, interests, aggrandise- develop a strong sense of one’s individual are the advantages which attach him ment, well-being, enjoyment. The identity, a resting place for one’s constant to social existence (Sri Aurobindo, individual and family consent to vitalistic seeking for bigger fields ofactivity 1997, p. 160). this exploitation for the same reason and perhaps also a place from where one that induced the individual to take can begin the process of peeling off one’s The “objective sense of subjectivity” on himself the yoke of the family, layers of outer identity—familial, social, (objective as in outward) that Indian- because they find their account in cultural, political—and to see oneself as a Americans begin to experience and ex- this wider vital life and have the human being who is capable of expanding press in the form of outward efforts to ex- instinct in it of their own larger one’s concept of self to include all. Thus, press and preserve their Indian identities growth, security and satisfaction this relation between individual-ego and helps them enlarge their individual ego- (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, pp. 161–162). group-ego serves an important purpose

22 • Collaboration Spring 2013 but only as a transitory step toward both vaguely or imperfectly, at their souls ner true Indian-American soul connects the individual and group finding the hid- (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 37). with the inner true Indian and inner true den individual-soul and group-soul. It is American souls despite the different and in this constant and continuous process of In the US one finds a burgeoning multiple forms of Indian and American self-finding—both for the individual and body of literary and academic work that cultural identities. the group—that life fulfills itself and paves interprets and analyzes this constantly In the case of Indian-Americans, as the way for transcending the limits, con- evolving Indian-American identity. But they continue to work toward formulating straints and burdens imposed by the ex- what interests me here is the question: and asserting their group-ego, underneath ternal forms as the inward journey toward when the Indian-American ultimately their attempts may be lurking a deeper in- true subjective consciousness begins. finds his subjective self, will he retain the visible urge to break the shell of group- All the discussion so far is a reflec- difference of this cultural identity or will ego, the body of being Indian-American, tion of the higher significance given to the difference efface itself because it has and to get in touch with the soul that may the realms of the social and political, the found that source which is the common be termed as the Indian-American group- apparent and frontal selves, on the level source of all—the Universal Being or con- soul. When we move beyond the level of of a highly limited subjective existence. sciousness? group-identity and toward developing a But if this search for subjective communal In the light of Sri Aurobindo’s social sense of the group-soul, we begin to enter consciousness rests in the apparent and psychology I am inclined to say that once the deeper realms of the psychological and frontal—represented in social, cultural, the Indian-American finds the source subtle. And in the case of Indian group- and political organizations, social aware- which is the common source of all—the soul, as Sri Aurobindo would remind us, ness and political campaigns, community Universal Being or consciousness—the is- we also begin to enter the realm of the events and conferences, regardless of the sue of ‘identity’ becomes mute. Forming spiritual. If we agree that spirituality is the ideologies being cham- soul of India, the prevail- pioned by any of these— When we move beyond the level of group- ing context of the mate- that general error caused rialist versus spiritualist by the nature of individ- identity and toward developing a sense of the divide in the American ual and group mentality group-soul, we begin to enter the deeper realms mainstream conscious- will be a loss for the future ness may create a psy- of the group’s and human- of psychological and subtle. chological conflict as ity’s collective evolution. Indian-Americans con- identity is an outward process, searching tinue with their journey to discover or re- Man must learn not to suppress for self is an inward journey. But the in- alize their group-soul. To what extent and and mutilate but to fulfill himself ner truth also gets represented in outward in what ways this Indian-American group- in the fulfillment of mankind, even forms, and that is where the diversity or soul will become a synthesis of the Ameri- as he must learn not to mutilate or multiplicity of identities may provide the can group-soul and the Indian group-soul destroy but to complete his ego by necessary richness that is needed by the remains to be discovered as time goes by. expanding it out of its limitations Universal Being to express itself in its What also remains a matter of future and losing it in something greater full potential and infinite variation. Thus discovery is the interpretation that Indi- which it now tries to represent (Sri there may still be many Indian-Ameri- an-Americans will make of the American Aurobindo, 1997, p. 300). can aspects of identity-formation being group-soul. Consciously or unconsciously, celebrated in various outward forms of their outward actions and behaviors will With time, and as a result of further presentation and representation, Indian- be in some way a reflection of—remote deepening of the attempts of Indian- American community and service or- and loosely formulated as it may be—an American groups to ‘find themselves,’ ganizations engaged in different activities, attempt at unfolding hidden inner con- these strivings may get to the deeper, real and even the conflicting feelings resulting nections with the Indian group-soul. “[T] subjective being, the soul of the group or from hyphenated identities may still be his is true that by constant enlargement, nation that is India, and soul of the group the basis of a lot of outward action among purification, openness the reason of man or nation that is America. Indian-Americans. But when this outward is bound to arrive at an intelligent sense experience is based in the inner subjective even of that which is hidden from it, a It is when this subconscious power consciousness that is universal, the outer power of passive, yet sympathetic reflec- of the group-soul comes to the sur- Indian-American identity is not in con- tion of the Light that surpasses it” (Sri face that nations begin to enter into flict with Indian or American identity be- Aurobindo, 1997, p. 123). Some Indian- possession of their subjective selves; cause those two are also just outer layers, Americans might at some point in their they set about getting, however not the true inner consciousness. The in- lives begin to feel an awareness of this

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 23 latent connection to Indian group-soul, individual freedom, a question, no mat- though they may not become aware of ter how idealistic it may sound, emerges: this connection in these specific terms. Is it likely that as the Indian-American This may happen because underneath collectivity continues with its search for the very temporary identities of national, true subjective consciousness, the sub- ethnic, or cultural belonging, their inner conscious pull of Indian ideal of life as a journeys will also happen in the context seeking for Divine finds a happy union of their outer journeys. By the fact of the with the subconscious American ideal of Indian group-soul being hidden—no mat- freedom of the individual? ter in however latent form that may be—in The trend of increasing popularity of their apparent group self, and as they be- Indian spiritual practices in the US may come more self-conscious of their Indian- be somewhat of an external manifestation American group experience, they may of how the material foundation is already find it relatively easier to discover a con- being prepared (though this preparation nection with a group-soul that is Indian. may be happening in a crude, obscure and They may or may not experience similarly Tasting sweet honey. (Photo by Ritam) stumbling manner, often blatantly mixed deep connection to what might be seen as bered that both of these American ideals with economic and political motivations) the American group-soul, or they may try are primarily or only understood on a ma- for the emergence of such an idealistic vi- to find it in their own unique way, which terialistic plane, and that historically both sion of an Indian-American group-soul. will be partly guided by their gradual un- of these have not been part of the experi- Of course, the recently increasing pres- folding of the subjective experience or ence of many Americans. However, an in- ence of Indian immigrant groups in the awareness of the Indian group-soul. dividualistic bent is sufficiently ingrained US may have little to do with this popular- in the American mind and psyche, even ity, and perhaps the 1893 speech of Swami It must be remembered that Indian though its outward manifestations could Vivekananda may have been the starting social life has subordinated almost be somewhat crude and overly rationalis- point, but the increasing interactions be- entirely the individual to the family tic and secular in character. tween two collective-consciousnesses— … the mould of society has been Also, American modernity with its Indian and American—even if they are long of an almost iron fixity putting emphasis on materialistic and social pro- first on the level of externalities, may en- each individual in his place and gress and its constant attempts at creat- able conditions necessary for the birth expecting him to conform to it … a ing an efficiently organized collective life of a new group-consciousness that is courageous solution is only possible are outcomes of the scientific, rationalistic reflected in new external forms and in- where there is freedom of personal mindset that objectifies, externalizes, and ternal dynamics of life-force and spirit- will; but where the only solution (if concerns itself mostly with the practical so force. This new group-consciousness may one remains in this life) is submis- that “[l]ife itself is the only object of living” then in its self-conscious aim seek for its sion to the family will, there can be (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 158). “A purely group-soul that is a synthesis of the soul nothing of the kind. It is a secure rational society could not come into being of India and the soul of America. This new life and can be happy if one accom- and, if it could be born, either could not group-consciousness with its deeper truth modates oneself to it and has no live or would sterilize and petrify human of individualism implying that an indi- unusual aspirations beyond it or existence” (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 123), vidual is not “merely a member of human is fortunate in one’s environment; and it is to move outside of the prison of pack … [but] a soul, a being, who has to but is has no remedy for or escape rationality, that the West has always looked fulfill his own individual truth and law as from incompatibilities or any kind to the East and tried to revive and renew well as his natural or his assigned part in of individual frustration; it leaves those ideas from its ancient heritage that the truth and law of the collective exist- little room for initiative or free resisted complete objectification and ma- ence” (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 24) could movement or any individualism (Sri terialistic tendencies. The collective In- further steer the direction of American Aurobindo, 1970, p. 871). dian consciousness, on the other hand, mainstream consciousness toward true carries deep within it the ancient ideal that subjectivism and the spiritual aim of life. This Indian social value that could “life is a seeking for God and for the high- This realization of the Indian-Ameri- discourage individual freedom is contrast- est self …” (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 159). can group-soul will still only be a step, till ed with one of the hallmarks of American A true seeking of the Divine happens in it is ready to experience the higher vision individual and collective consciousness, complete freedom and is always an indi- of Self which is beyond the group-soul and namely, the emphasis on individualism vidual journey. So with Indian emphasis connects with the soul of humanity, and and freedom. Though it must be remem- on spirituality and American emphasis on lives in true freedom. While an individual

24 • Collaboration Spring 2013 has the “tendency of self-limitation and at transcending the hold of both on one’s Individuation: subjection to his environment and group, inner self are all one has to learn from in a but he has also the equally necessary ten- process of self-inquiry and self-awareness Activating the four dency of expansion and transcendence of which aim at a seeking for the highest self. powers environment and groupings” (Sri Auro- 2. Some of the discussion presented bindo, 1997, p. 69). in this essay may be especially relevant for But until that dawn of expansion and those Indian-Americans who identify with by Ruth Lamb transcendence … spiritual and religious traditions collec- tively known as Sanātana Dharma (Hindu- From the book Human becoming: A guide to Thus the community stands as a ism). Besides the fact that I am from such a soul-centered living, 2012, Vancouver: Cit- mid-term and intermediary value background and therefore can speak with tam Futures Inc. (www.cittamfutures.com). between the individual and hu- a bit more experiential authenticity about manity and it exists not merely for some aspects of Hindu-American experi- itself, but for the one and the other ence than about the experiences of Indian- This persistent soul-existence is the real and to help them to fulfill each Americans who identify with other religious Individuality which stands behind the other. The individual has to live in or spiritual traditions, the other reason why constant mutation of things we call our humanity as well as humanity in the these issues may be of more relevance to personality....we are not a mere mass individual; but mankind is or has Hindu Americans is that the philosophical of mind-stuff, life-stuff, body-stuff tak- been too large an aggregate to make or metaphysical foundations of traditions ing different forms of mind and life and this mutuality a thing intimate and grouped under Sanātana Dharma (or Hin- body from birth to birth...there is a real powerfully felt in the ordinary mind duism) are in many ways deeply contrary and stable power of our being behind of the race, and even if humanity to the more materialistic foundations of the constant mutation of our mental, becomes a manageable unit of life, mainstream western cultures. However, at vital and physical personality and this is intermediate groups and aggregates the same time it is important to add that what me have to know and preserve in must still exist for the purpose of because of the multi-religious nature of In- order that the Infinite may manifest.... 1 mass-differentiation and the con- dian society, the psychological impact on —Sri Aurobindo centration and combination of vary- overall Indian consciousness of the inher- ing tendencies in the total human ent multiplicity, plurality, heterogeneity, ndividuation—that is, moving beyond aggregate. Therefore the community and respect for diversity of faiths and be- ego—requires another great work, has to stand for a time to the indi- lief systems all of which are at the core of another dynamic use of the gunas or vidual for humanity even at the cost traditions collectively known as Sanātana Iqualities of sattwa (enlightened peace), ra- of standing between him and it and Dharma, and the ever-renewing organic jas (powerful dynamism), and tamas (in- limiting the reach of his universality hybridity resulting from the synthesis of ertia and habit). In individuation, these and the wideness of his sympathies various spiritual traditions in India, much gunas are used to express the special power (Sri Aurobindo, 1997, p. 69). of this may be equally applicable for those of soul that organizes itself in the deepest Indian-Americans who identify themselves innermost being, reflecting its light to the The search continues … with other religious traditions including Is- inner being and to the outer being’s physi- lam, Christianity, and other faiths. cal, emotional-vital, and mental nature. Author’s notes Sri Aurobindo speaks of a four-fold References power of evolution: the power of knowl- 1. Much of the analyses of Indian- edge and intelligence, the power of force American experience presented in this Sri Aurobindo (1970). Letters on and strength, the power of harmony and article are my reflections based on the Yoga, Sri Aurobindo Birth Centenary Li- adaption, and the power of work, service, personal experience and observation over brary, Vol. 23, Pondicherry: Sri Auro- or labor.2,3 Each power exists overtly or more than 14 years of living in the US. bindo Ashram,. covertly in all people, and many claim that These highly subjective reflections are pre- Sri Aurobindo (1997). The Human the amalgam of these yogic powers forms sented here with full appreciation that an Cycle, The Ideal of Human Unity, War and a person’s character. As the ego strength- individual’s subjective experience cannot Self-determination, The Complete Works ens, centralizes, and learns to overcome provide much or any substance for gen- of Sri Aurobindo (CWSA), Vol. 25, Pondi- the downward pull from a wide array of eralizing to a larger aggregate. But per- cherry: Sri Aurobindo Ashram. adverse circumstances, these powers re- haps in some way each individual’s unique Varma, V. P. (1960/1990). The Po- fine along with the guna qualities that di- journey of identification with a group-ego litical Philosophy of Sri Aurobindo. Delhi: rect them. When the ego begins to gain and group-soul, and consequent attempts Motilal Banarsidas. self-awareness, the personality forms—

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 25 once a dynamically healthy ego-point of ‘I The inner being underlies the outer am’ is stabilized, then there is a foundation being and is immersed in a state of sub- for individuation. liminal consciousness; therefore, the inner Once a certain stability has been mental, emotional-vital, and subtle physi- reached, the ego may be healthy enough to cal have a much deeper and broader range overcome its tamasic inertia, which rests of force, power, and consciousness impact- on a refusal to change. The outer emo- ing them. Impacts are received from the tional-vital ego aspects, having claimed individual’s own history and lifetimes of a sense of authority and egoic power on learning as well as from the environmen- behalf of this ‘I’, rajasically hold their do- tal and universal consciousness, and from minion. Even the outer mental egoic as- all levels of the hierarchical consciousness. pect has its challenges with change, once “Our subliminal self...is a meeting-place the sattwic quality has developed a stand- of the consciousness that emerges from point of equanimity with values, beliefs, below by evolution and the consciousness and doctrine or dogma accepted as right that has descended from above for invo- and solidified into a worldview. lution.”5 In order to bring awareness to Growth beyond the dynamically sta- this domain, it is understandable that the bilized ego-point ‘I am’ requires the force Ruth Lamb. outer egoic self needs to be centralised and of a more activated soul carrying the spirit As long as the outward personal- somewhat stabilized; then, with a sense of of inquiry, a willingness to seek knowl- ity we call ourselves is centered in the outer self stabilized, awareness of how edge and understanding that activates the lower powers of consciousness, much more we are becomes evident as a the outer- and inner-mind formations of the riddle of its own existence, its deeper reflective noticing develops. consciousness. This building of knowl- purpose, its necessity is to it an edge has innumerable stages, intensities, insoluble enigma. —Sri Aurobindo4 ...our present conscious existence, and maturities. Some individuals remain is only a representative formation, content with superficial awareness, oth- Individuation requires a person to a superficial activity, a changing ers seek deeper, and a few will probe to step away from being directly controlled external result of a vast mass of the root of the possible. Without balance, by the outer physical, emotional-vital, concealed existence...our existence this powerful force of seeking becomes and mental aspects of consciousness and is something much larger than this one-dimensional; without practice and in- become more awake to the underlying apparent frontal being which we tegration, knowledge remains theoretical forces that have much greater sway—the suppose ourselves to be and which and deadened. inner physical, emotional-vital, and men- we offer to the world around us....It Knowledge and understanding tal. With an active noticing state evolving is only when we go behind, below, are the first requirements if we wish to and the witness consciousness gaining above into the hidden stretches of achieve, followed by making the knowl- awareness, it becomes possible to seek the our being that we can know it; the edge effective. Secondly, strength and will deeper, more poignantly urgent forces that most thorough and acute surface are required, and the ability and courage subtly uplift manifold suggestions to the scrutiny and manipulation cannot to carry forth despite obstacles. If knowl- outer being. Individuation in this sense give us the true understanding or edge, understanding, and intelligence are means that individuals are becoming just the completely effective control of not supported by will and strength, the that: centralised in their deeper awareness our life, its purpose, its activities.... rajasic vital may intervene and destroy the and capable of greater intelligence in the —Sri Aurobindo6 right exercise of power—acute discern- choices they make. Of course, the outer ment is crucial. Third, there is a need to dynamics and ongoing testing from nu- From the inner-being perspective, the organize the intelligence and put the wis- merous directions remain; nevertheless, inner mind is open to an infinite number dom into practice in a wise, co-creative, with a healthy enough egoic stance and a of influences from our own subconscient and harmoniously practical manner. willingness to look deeper comes a more (including access to imprints from our Finally, the fourth power requires that directed connection with the innermost family of heritage and previous lifetimes, work be done, effort be made, detail be being (soul force). This connection itself from the environment around us, and addressed and positive service to human- brings a sustaining stability as faith in from those in the environment); in ad- kind be achieved—this is a conscious and something luminous, clear, and wise arises dition, at a collective level (e.g., through surrendered service sustaining dharma, naturally from within, bringing a greater the media) many thought forms are im- a soul-power which carries meaningful ability to face the fracturing situations that pacting individuals globally. Finally, in- purpose. inevitably impact the human condition. dividuals are also impacted by thought

26 • Collaboration Spring 2013 forms from the astral and hostile planes as false, what is obscure, what is dark potential for dis-ease and for health, as ill- well as from the higher mind, illumined in you; and after detecting it, to re- nesses can be held in the human energy mind, intuitive mind, and innermost soul. ject it not only once but persistently field or biofield prior to physical activation. The complexities multiply. Each of these because these things have a way of All physiological disruptions pattern into, mind-related forces of consciousness af- coming back and asserting them- or arise from, the subtle physical as do all fects our outer physical, emotional, and selves again and again.7 emotional states—they show their legacy thinking mental field. within different levels of the human energy We have innumerable thoughts each This process can be carried out from field, either as it overextends the physical waking moment, and dreams at night— a personal perspective first, then look be- body or as it lies within the body in the what is real? The main discipline of the yond the self to outer circumstances. For cells and tissues. There may (or may not) mind is noticing, observation, quieten- self or others, notice if cunning ration- be somatic symptoms or a subtle somatic ing, and controlling, opening to the higher alizations link the lower and higher vital awareness of feeling tones held within the wisdom and receiving that wisdom, all the levels, allowing justification of actions that actual tissue structures. As with the in- while using the most acute mental discrim- few would condone as right and honorable ner mental and emotional-vital, the subtle ination. As soon as we can cultivate a soul- from an individual or humanitarian per- physical interacts with the subconscient, awareness, we also cultivate a soul-discrim- spective. This takes humility, a rather alien unconscious, and the higher levels of con- ination—we cultivate what the yogis term attribute to the vital, which is drawn and sciousness just as it does with the surface the kshurasya dhara or the razor’s edge. fed by desire from the lowest level and is egoic personality and physiological status. From an inner emotional-vital per- capable of sweeping nations into turmoil. This dynamic and interwoven interaction spective the subliminal actively presents On the other hand, Sri Aurobindo occurs each moment in the moment. waves of life-force and emotional-feeling; states, the vital is the warrior of the soul— From an Integral yoga viewpoint, in- hence, when formations from the astral once it is reformed and transformed. Its dividuation becomes a complex process: bring imposing and convincing allures for- powerful life force energies and sweeping Step by step, one proceeds by refining the ward, being alert is crucial. Sri Aurobindo access to consciousness, tied intimately to methods Sri Aurobindo and the Mother tells us that the power of the vital forma- emotions and feelings and higher aspira- set forth. For our purposes here, I define tions to flash lights and overwhelm with tion, can forge the pathway to the inner- the yoga of individuation as: grandeur and brilliance is dazzling. For most being. A keen self-awareness must be example, he says, if a person overwhelms cultivated, accompanied by a will for pu- the power and the presence, the inner you, pulls you, seduces you, imposes on rification through objective self-examina- stillness and ability to consciously you, and feeds your ego or your impulse tion, so that individuals become able to de- contact the Inner Guide—the deepest for ambition—you must pull back. A spir- termine the difference between a vital glow soul awareness—combined with a itual personality, he says, is nonimposing and vital glamour, and to identify spiritual discerning witness consciousness and strengthening. radiance. The required skills are based in that allows us to access the high- The inner vital is connected to and an ongoing will to change, rejection or re- est processes of which our nature is vulnerable to the local and global life force fusal of expression based on discernment, capable; this is a process whereby the and the emotional streams of innumer- and surrender to a call from the soul. inner insight informs the outer sight able forces and feelings. So, in addition to The subtle physical serves to link the and is capable of guiding will and one’s internal pushes and personal feel- outer body physical consciousness to the action. Here, one is in contact with ings poking up from the subconscient and subtle etheric and astral realms of con- the innermost consciousness, which is unconscious, this dimension of our being sciousness, and to the physiological-nerv- a widened, heightened, and spacious is aware at the consciousness level of the ous-system bridge between matter and consciousness—a soul-consciousness emotional-vital-feeling forces near and energy. At the subtle physical, the chakras that reveals the Divine potential in far. These waves impact the outer emo- form an aspect of the bridge and bring each person and sustains and sup- tional-vital to different degrees in each subliminal awareness closer to the outer ports the integration and harmony of person, and to different degrees at differ- being on the physical, emotional-vital, all parts of the being. ent times in life. Pandit tells us that the and mental planes. Sri Aurobindo says vital is cunning and convincing: that “only a little of the inner being escapes This is one view for consideration, through these centres into the outer life, but it holds the foundational methods de- Whenever there is an attack or but that little is the best part of ourselves scribed here and brings understanding to something untoward happens, the and responsible for our art, poetry, phi- the Integral yoga self-awareness processes. idea way is not to blame others or losophy, ideas, religious aspirations, effort The four powers of knowledge and intel- outer circumstances, but to look and knowledge and perfection.”8 ligence, force and strength, harmony and into yourself and detect what is The subtle physical holds the body’s adaption, and work and service are dynam-

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 27 ic powers and processes interwoven into In a flash the thought that came to me was the yoga of individuation. The next step “The Mother remembered my wish, that functionally is activating the soul. However, I should be informed.” The Mother is so at all places and in all instances, the soul is gracious—she even sent somebody to tell involved—it is a matter of how consciously me. I went to the Ashram after informing we as individuals can sustain tapasya, the Kailas. She was living next to Udar’s house, conscious work of activating soul. diagonally opposite to the French Institute since 1966. I was asked to control people References who were coming. It was an extremely peaceful arrangement. 1 Sri Aurobindo (1996), The Synthesis of But why did She leave? You may have Yoga, Twin Lakes, WI: Lotus Light, p. 360. seen the Mother’s couch in the Medita- 2 Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga. tion Hall where Her body was laid to rest. 3 Sri Aurobindo. The Life Divine, Twin Mother never lay completely flat—She Richard Pearson at his Ashram home. Lakes, WI: Lotus Light. believed that to lie flat led one to go into 4 Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga, pened in Pondicherry?” We said, “No, Inconscience. So she preferred to sleep p. 191. everything is normal. Sri Aurobindo is not or rather rest in an inclined position, just 5 Sri Aurobindo, The Life Divine, pp. well, but…” So we went on and then we resting her back. In fact, She often said: 425–427. reached Annamalai University, and were “You see my posture? It is like that because 6 Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga, received by Dr. Singh. There was a stu- I never lie down, so I got a hunchback. pp. 170–171. dent there who was working with a radio But I want to be straight!” Well, She was in 7 Pandit, M.P. (1992). Heart of Sadhana, that he had made. He said, “I hear that Sri the Meditation Hall and, of course, after Pondicherry, India: Dipti, pp. 14-15. Aurobindo has passed away.” This was a our duty was over and things were more 8 Sri Aurobindo (2000). Letters on Yoga. big shock. Dr. Singh said, “Well, you have smooth I took my chance in waiting to go Pondicherry: Sri Aurobindo Ashram, p. 1165. come this far, you might as well spend a before Her. Too difficult to describe the few more hours with me and then go back emotion… before a person with whom On the passing away in the evening.” And that is what we did. one has interacted, with whom one has of Sri Aurobindo and When we got back, I just took the been quite close. And to see just…as one kuja as usual and went to the Ashram to would say, just a body. Everything with the the Mother bring drinking water. It was my part of the Mother is absolutely unexpected. What I housekeeping with my father. I couldn’t saw was a living Presence of a Warrior, of a by Richard Pearson recognize the place. It looked as though Fighter, a grim determined person, whose there had been a stampede. The newly work was not finished, who was constantly irst I will take you back to when Sri planted trees outside the Ashram were all battling, physically battling with a grim Aurobindo passed away in 1950. It bent over and the Ashram rockery looked determination to bring the final Victory! so happened that I was not in Pondi- like a mess. I was so surprised that I wasn’t It was so powerful! So intent! I was so Fcherry on that day. Somehow for some even in Pondicherry. Somewhere in me surprised. She gave me the impression of reason—I do not know—my father had ar- I knew that I could not bear that. And something strong, something powerful, ranged to see Professor C who did experi- my friends told me, “Oh, what you have something that would never give up! Each ments with music on plants in Annamalai missed! A whole town came crowding time I went back to witness this, it was al- University, and this had been approved by into the Ashram.” I am by nature a rather ways the same impression. the Mother. We were to leave on 5th De- sensitive person with regard to plants and We would sit in the Ashram and look cember. At four o’clock, the photographer animals and I particularly cannot bear into ourselves, trying to understand. But friend of ours, Venkatesh, knocked on the mistreating them. what I am trying to say is something I can- window and said” I don’t feel we should go Near the time of Mother’s passing not even explain to myself. This question, today.” But my father said, “Well, Mother we knew that Mother was very weak. We “Why did she leave?” went on nagging me, had given the blessings. I will come but had heard painful cries in her room and prodding me. I wanted to know the an- do what you feel.” And when we came to we knew that she was undergoing a lot of swer. I started to become clear with the Chidambaram—it was near Annamalai physical suffering, but we didn’t expect answer the more I began to realize that University—we were having something Her to leave. At 4 o’clock in the morn- She was there, She was present. And the to eat—coffee, idly, or something. There ing somebody came and knocked on the feeling when sitting in the Ashram was was someone in the restaurant who asked: window, saying “Come quickly to the simply that She has now entered—she has “Is there something new? Anything hap- Ashram! The Mother has left her body.” now entered into everyone, everywhere.

28 • Collaboration Spring 2013 There is no corner, no place that could be Personal transforma- hidden from Her, from Her Presence. It seems an inaccuracy to say that She has tion and power left, She is still there. The more I was as- sured of the answer, the more I knew that by Pravir Malik She was, she is, She will always be present. It was also a very moving experience From Pravir’s blog, blog.aurosoorya.com, on the 20th of November when Her casket which focuses on organizational and sys- was taken to the Samadhi. It was really her tems problems and solutions. Grace that I was called to be one of the bearers at that time. A notice had come ur reality does not end with what out in the Ashram announcing who will be the eye can see. This is where it carrying the casket—and I read it and just Obegins. There is the whole inform- thought it would be nice to be there. I was ing edifice of which what the eye can see Pravir Malik is a management expert. asked to go to Harpagon to see if every- is only the final outcome. To focus only on thing was ready. Suddenly somebody came the physical, on that which can be seen, mine the dynamics in oneself. For this to up to me and said, “Go and get ready. You is to focus on the surface of the edifice happen, though, one’s psychology has to are also going to carry Mother’s casket.” So only, and by definition misses the causal go through a sea-change. The existence I went home and fortunately I had white dynamics that marks the real meaning and of a Progress-centered, universal fractal shorts and a shirt already ironed. I put intent behind the physical. To focus on the system—of which each of us are poten- them on and came back. For that opportu- physical only is to focus on established re- tially significant or insignificant fractal nity to be included I am extremely grateful. ality and to miss the reality of all the pos- actors depending on if we choose to ex- I would like to share with you one fi- sibility that is seeking to manifest from ercise the fractal for progress (shift in ac- nal incident at this bearing of the casket. within the heart of the edifice. And being tive perception from the physical-vital to There was another boy who was called— that the heart of the edifice, the heart of the mental-intuitional)—must become a Sumantra—a friend of mine, whose name Progress, is the real center around which reality. In other words, it requires a basic was added. And when we were outside the entire edifice and all physical mani- re-contextualizing, so that rather than ex- when the Mother’s body was placed in the festations revolve, to focus only on the periencing ourselves as independent and coffin, we could only smell the perfume. physical, as though it were an independ- isolated entities existing in the world to And I have a feeling that when some great ent reality with no connection to anything fulfill or aggrandize a narrow physical- soul or the Avatar decides to leave the deeper, is to miss the context of life. vital view of ourselves by catering to Earth, it is as though the heavens open up. To imagine therefore that each of us dominant physical-vital dynamics abroad You know that during the very last Dar- are entities existing in a physical world to in each institution of life, we must begin shan of the Mother in August it poured fulfill a part as determined by our com- through an essential mental-intuitional heavily and incessantly. The heavens re- mon and most likely programmed phys- orientation to experience ourselves as part ally opened up. There was such a torrential ical-vital orientations is to consign our- of the larger fractal system. rain. As the Mother came to the Balcony, selves to littleness and lack of possibility. Such a re-contextualizing implies everybody was just spellbound. We each become then a cog in a wheel, that we become heroes, because every and depending on the randomness or luck manner of limitation as evidenced by the To Thee who has been the material or even effort of construction of our phys- pervasive and incomplete physical-vital envelope of our Master, ical resources or vital capabilities, will outlook will then need to be faced, over- To Thee our infinite gratitude. play either a more or less central role in come, and successfully replaced by the Before Thee, who has done so much driving or moving a wheel that is headed mental-intuitional outlook that by defi- for us ultimately toward its own destruction. If nition begins to open us to the heart of Who has worked, struggled, suf- there is power in this, it is not power to Progress. This re-contextualizing, in fact, fered, hoped, endured so much, bring about global change, but power only begins to become more real with each Before Thee who has willed all, at- to accelerate debilitation of a poorly per- stagnating or opposing fractal that we tempted all, prepared, achieved ceived and believed world-system. successfully overcome. In this view, we all for us, Meaningful global change can come are not just cogs in a wheel, but creative Before Thee we bow down and im- about only when the reality of one’s rela- centers of a continually and sustainably plore that we may never forget tion with the heart of the system is rightly progressing world-system for which we even for a moment all we owe perceived, and by identity, the dynamics are each ultimately co-responsible. There to Thee. of the heart of the system begin to deter- can be no more power than this.

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 29 Source Material

Reality and the integral Knowledge

by Sri Aurobindo

his then is the origin, this the nature, these the boundaries of the Ignorance. Its origin is a limitation of knowledge, Tits distinctive character a separation of the being from its own integrality and entire reality; its boundaries are determined by this separative development of the consciousness, for it shuts us to our true self and to the true self and whole nature of things and obliges us to live in an apparent surface existence. A return true significance and enabling them to overcome their separate- or a progress to integrality, a disappearance of the limitation, a ness from the Divine Reality and the Divine Nature.1 breaking down of separativeness, an overpassing of boundaries, a recovery of our essential and whole reality must be the sign and *** opposite character of the inner turn towards Knowledge. There must be a replacement of a limited and separative by an essential An integration of this kind would not be possible if a spir- and integral consciousness identified with the original truth and itual evolution were not the sense of our birth and terrestrial the whole truth of self and existence. The integral Knowledge existence; the evolution of mind, life and spirit in Matter is the is something that is already there in the integral Reality: it is sign that this integration, this completed manifestation of a se- not a new or still non-existent thing that has to be created, ac- cret self contained in it is its significance. A complete involution quired, learned, invented or built up by the mind; it must rather of all that the Spirit is and its evolutionary self-unfolding are be discovered or uncovered, it is a Truth that is self-revealed to a the double term of our material existence. There is a possibility spiritual endeavour: for it is there veiled in our deeper and greater of self-expression by an always unveiled luminous develop- self; it is the very stuff of our own spiritual consciousness, and it ment of the being, a possibility also of various expression in is by awaking to it even in our surface self that we have to possess perfect types fixed and complete in their own nature: that is the it. There is an integral self-knowledge that we have to recover principle of becoming in the higher worlds; they are typal and and, because the world-self also is our self, an integral world- not evolutionary in their life principle; they exist each in its own knowledge. A knowledge that can be learned or constructed by perfection, but within the limits of a stationary world-formula. the mind exists and has its value, but that is not what is meant But there is also a possibility of self-expression by self-finding, a when we speak of the Knowledge and the Ignorance. deployment which takes the form and goes through the progres- An integral spiritual consciousness carries in it a knowledge sion of a self-veiling and an adventure of self-recovery: that is of all the terms of being; it links the highest to the lowest through the principle of becoming in this universe of which an involution all the mediating terms and achieves an indivisible whole. At the of consciousness and concealment of the spirit in Matter is the highest summit of things it opens to the reality, ineffable because first appearance. superconscient to all but its own self-awareness, of the Absolute. An involution of spirit in the Inconscience is the beginning; At the lowest end of our being it perceives the Inconscience from an evolution in the Ignorance with its play of the possibilities which our evolution begins; but at the same time it is aware of of a partial developing knowledge is the middle, and the cause the One and the All self-involved in those depths, it unveils the of the anomalies of our present nature,—our imperfection is the secret Consciousness in the Inconscience. Interpretative, revela- sign of a transitional state, a growth not yet completed, an effort tory, moving between these two extremes, its vision discovers that is finding its way; a consummation in a deployment of the the manifestation of the One in the Many, the identity of the In- spirit’s self-knowledge and the self-power of its divine being finite in the disparity of things finite, the presence of the timeless and consciousness is the culmination: these are the three stages Eternal in eternal Time; it is this seeing that illumines for it the of this cycle of the spirit’s progressive self-expression in life. meaning of the universe. This consciousness does not abolish the The two stages that have already their play seem at first sight universe; it takes it up and transforms it by giving to it its hidden to deny the possibility of the later consummating stage of the significance. It does not abolish the individual existence; it trans- cycle, but logically they imply its emergence; for if the incon- forms the individual being and nature by revealing to them their science has evolved consciousness, the partial consciousness

30 • Collaboration Spring 2013 already reached must surely evolve into complete consciousness. 1 It is a perfected and divinised life for which the earth-nature is The divine Presence seeking, and this seeking is a sign of the Divine Will in Nature. Other seekings also there are and these too find their means of by the Mother self-fulfilment; a withdrawal into the supreme peace or ecstasy, a withdrawal into the bliss of the Divine Presence are open to the ’ve had an interesting experience.... Not yesterday evening soul in earth-existence: for the Infinite in its manifestation has but the evening before, someone I won’t name told me, "I many possibilities and is not confined by its formulations. But Iam fully in the physical consciousness: no more meditations, neither of these withdrawals can be the fundamental intention in and the Divine has become something up above, so far away...." the Becoming itself here; for then an evolutionary progression Then, instantly, while he was speaking, the whole room FILLED would not have been undertaken,—such a progression here can with the divine Presence. "Oh," I told him, "Not up above: only have for its aim a self-fulfilment here: a progressive mani- HERE, right here." And at that moment, EVERYTHING, the festation of this kind can only have for its soul of significance the whole atmosphere ... you know, the very air seemed to change revelation of Being in a perfect Becoming.2 into divine Presence (Mother touches her hands, her face, her body): you understand, everything was touched, touched, per- *** meated, but with ... above all, there was a dazzling Light, a Peace like this (massive gesture), a Power, and also such Sweetness ... Man is there to affirm himself in the universe, that is his first something ... you felt it would be enough to melt a rock. business, but also to evolve and finally to exceed himself: he And it hasn’t left. It has remained. has to enlarge his partial being into a complete being, his partial It came like that, and has remained. consciousness into an integral consciousness; he has to achieve And the whole night was like that – everything. Even now mastery of his environment but also world-union and world-har- the two things are there: a little of the ordinary consciousness, mony; he has to realise his individuality but also to enlarge it into as if mechanically, but I just have to remain still or concentrated a cosmic self and a universal and spiritual delight of existence. A for a second and it’s there. And it’s the BODY’S experience, you transformation, a chastening and correction of all that is obscure, understand, physical, material, the body’s experience: every- erroneous and ignorant in his mentality, an ultimate arrival at a thing, absolutely everything is full, full, there’s NOTHING but free and wide harmony and luminousness of knowledge and will That, and we are like ... everything is like something shriveled, and feeling and action and character, is the evident intention of you know, like dried-up bark, something dried up. You get the his nature; it is the ideal which the creative Energy has imposed impression that things (not completely – superficially) have on his intelligence, a need implanted by her in his mental and vi- become hard, dry, and that’s why they don’t feel. That’s why tal substance. But this can only be accomplished by his growing they don’t feel Him, otherwise everything, but everything is into a larger being and a larger consciousness: self-enlargement, NOTHING but That; you can’t breathe without breathing Him, self-fulfilment, self-evolution from what he partially and tempo- you understand; you move about, and it’s within Him that you rarily is in his actual and apparent nature to what he completely move about; you are ... everything, the whole universe is within is in his secret self and spirit and therefore can become even in Him – but MATERIALLY, physically, physically. his manifest existence, is the object of his creation. This hope is It’s the cure of the "drying up" that I am now seeking. the justification of his life upon earth amidst the phenomena of I feel it’s fantastic, you understand. the cosmos. The outer apparent man, an ephemeral being subject And then, when I listen, It also says things; I told Him, "But to the constraints of his material embodiment and imprisoned in then, why do people always climb up above?" And with the a limited mentality, has to become the inner real Man, master most extraordinary, fantastic humor: "Because they want me to of himself and his environment and universal in his being. In a be very far from their consciousness!" Things like that, but not more vivid and less metaphysical language, the natural man has formulated so precisely: impressions. Several times – several to evolve himself into the divine Man; the sons of Death have to times I heard: "Why do they go so far away to seek what’s ..." know themselves as the children of Immortality. It is on this ac- (you know, the theories that have said, "It’s within you") ... "to count that the human birth can be described as the turning-point seek what’s everywhere?" in the evolution, the critical stage in earth-nature.3 I didn’t say it to that person, first of all because the experi- ence wasn’t a continuous thing as it now is. 1Sri Aurobindo, Complete Works of Sri Aurobindo, Vols. And above all, there was: NO NEW RELIGIONS! No dog- 21-22 (The Life Divine), Pondicherry: Sri Aurobindo Ashram mas, no fixed teaching. Avoid – at any cost avoid turning it into Publication Department, pp. 659-660. a new religion. Because the moment it was formulated in an ... 2Ibid., pp. 708-709. elegant way that imposed itself and had a force, it would be over. 3Ibid., pp. 711-712. You get the impression that He is everywhere, but eve- rywhere, and there’s nothing else. And we aren’t aware of it

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 31 because we are ... shriveled up (I don’t know how to put it), dried. up. We’ve made (laughing) tremendous efforts to separate ourselves – and we’ve succeeded! We’ve succeeded, but only in our consciousness, not in the fact. In the fact, It’s there. It’s there. There’s NOTHING but That. What we know, what we see, what we touch is as if bathing, floating within That; but it’s perme- able; it’s permeable, absolutely: That goes through it. The sense of separateness comes from here (Mother touches her forehead). Perhaps the experience came because, for several days, there had been a very great concentration to find, not exactly the why or the how, but the FACT, the fact of separateness, the fact that everything appears so stupid, so ugly.... I was assailed, assailed by kinds of living memories of all sorts of experiences (all sorts: from things read to paintings, films, and life, people, things), memories of this body, all the memories we might call "anti- quite physical, with a physical reason. You understand, doctors divine," in which the body had a sensation of repulsive or bad might say: “It’s for this reason, that reason ...” – quite a mate- things, like negations of the divine Presence. It began like that. rial thing, absolutely physical: poff! gone.... Your consciousness For two days I was like that, to such a point that the body was al- changes – it comes back. most desperate. Then the experience came, and it hasn’t moved. And if you stay long enough in the true consciousness, the It hasn’t moved. It came: vrrff! finished, hasn’t moved. You see, appearance, that is, what we call the physical “fact” itself, disap- experiences come and then draw back – but this hasn’t moved. pears, not just the pain.... I have the feeling of having touched ... It’s there right now. So the body is trying to be fluid (Mother (there’s no mind to understand, thank God!), of having touched makes a gesture of spreading), it’s trying to melt; it’s trying, it the central experience. understands what it is. It’s trying – not succeeding, obviously! But it’s a very small beginning. (Mother looks at her hands) But its consciousness knows. One would have the impression or certitude of having But that experience is having effects: some people have felt touched the supreme Secret only if the physical were trans- relieved all of a sudden, one or two absolutely cured. And when formed.... According to the experience (the experience in tiny something goes wrong in the body, it doesn’t need to ask: the details), that’s how it should be. But then, would there first be trouble is set right quite naturally. ONE body in which this Consciousness was expressed, or must That hasn’t even given the body a need to stop doing any- everything, but everything be transformed? ... That I don’t know. thing and to remain wholly concentrated in its experience, no: It would happen if the play – the play of separateness – no desire, nothing. Like this: floating ... floating in a luminous came to an end. That would be the solution of the transforma- immensity ... which is within! (Mother laughs) The immensity tion. A phenomenon of consciousness. isn’t only outside: it’s within. It’s within. This (Mother touches But it’s so concrete, you see! (silence...) her hands, this separate appearance), you really feel it’s ... I don’t Only, the other consciousness is still there.... Just now, this know how to put it, but it only has reality in the deformation of morning, I saw a considerable number of people: everyone of them the consciousness – but not the human consciousness: something came, and I looked (there was no “I looked”: for the PERSON that happened, something that took place in the Consciousness ... there, it was like that, I was looking at him), the eyes were fixed [on (Mother shakes her head) I don’t understand. (silence...) the person] like that, and then there was the perception and vision All the theories, all the explanations, all the stories that are at (but not “vision” as it’s understood: it’s all a phenomenon of con- the root of every religion, it all seems to me ... like a distraction. sciousness), the awareness of the Presence; the Presence permeat- So then, you wonder, you wonder ... (I am going to say something ing that sort of bark, of hardened thing, permeating, permeating ...) whether the Lord hasn’t been putting on an act for Himself! ... everywhere. And when I look, when the eyes are fixed, it makes a But it’s difficult to express. I’ve spent days when I really sort of concentration [of this Presence].... But it’s certainly quite a lived all the horrors of the creation (and in the consciousness of transitory and intermediate state, because the other consciousness their horror), then that brought about this experience, and ... the (the consciousness that sees things and deals with them as usual, whole horror vanished. with the perception of what goes on in the individual, what he thinks It wasn’t moral things at all: it was mostly physical suffer- – not so much what he thinks as what he feels, the way he is), that’s ings. Especially THE physical suffering. And that physical suf- there. It’s obviously necessary, too, to maintain contact, but ... It’s fering, I saw it: a physical suffering that lasts – unceasing, going clearly still an experience, not an established fact. What I mean by on night and day. And all at once, instead of being in that state “established fact” is the consciousness established in such a way of consciousness, you are in the state of consciousness of this that nothing else exists, it alone is present – it’s not yet like that. exclusive divine Presence – the pain is gone! And it was physical, 1Mother’s Agenda, Vol. 9 (1968), Institut de Reccherches Evolu- tives, Paris & Mira Aditi, Mysore, pp. 324-327.

32 • Collaboration Spring 2013 The fane of the Himalayas The poetry room In the blue deep soaring above the world From the pure ether’s lofty white, behold, From Savitri1 Carved by the Gods’ immeasurable dreams The Himalayas’ Fane eternal gleams. Was then the sun a dream because there is night? The daring lines, the spans like wings in flight— Hidden in the mortal’s heart the Eternal lives: You are the Soul’s manifested might, He lives secret in the chamber of thy soul, Your peaks aloft, your skyward-striving steeps A Light shines there nor pain nor grief can cross. Reveal the Spirit’s aspiration-sweeps; A darkness stands between thyself and him, In the huge ridges’ enigmatic row Thou canst not hear or feel the marvellous Guest, The godheads’ living faces boldly glow; Thou canst not see the beatific sun. The sphinxes grand, the meditation’s rocks, O queen, thy thought is a light of the Ignorance, Keep the God’s mystery in the epochs; Its brilliant curtain hides from thee God’s face. The sacred pyramids’ upsoaring climb It illumes a world born from the Inconscience Uplifts the soul to the heights sublime: But hides the Immortal’s meaning in the world. Up to an ever higher rapture’s call Thy mind’s light hides from thee the Eternal’s thought, Like steps to the supernal Source of all Thy heart’s hopes hide from thee the Eternal’s will, The Himalayas’ Fane aspires in flight, Earth’s joys shut from thee the Immortal’s bliss. God’s reverie in the ethereal height. Thence rose the need of a dark intruding god, O Spirit’s pure flame of white that shone The world’s dread teacher, the creator, pain. Into the solid light of the living stone, Where Ignorance is, there suffering too must come; Your grandeur’s face inspires the mortals’ hearts Thy grief is a cry of darkness to the Light; To climb to the Immortals’ high ramparts, Pain was the first-born of the Inconscience To the white Timelessness’ unbound halls Which was thy body’s dumb original base; To rise beyond the narrow earthly walls Already slept there pain’s subconscient shape: And bring down from the architects divine A shadow in a shadowy tenebrous womb, The dreams and deeds like mountain tops to shine: Till life shall move, it waits to wake and be. O Himalayan peaks, austere and grand, In one caul with joy came forth the dreadful Power. Up to the sky arisen high you stand: In life’s breast it was born hiding its twin; You reign above the world of crawling clay But pain came first, then only joy could be. Like architecture of the Gods at play, Pain ploughed the first hard ground of the world-drowse. A Scripture of the inspired mantra-crests, By pain a spirit started from the clod, You feed all souls’ sempiternal quests; By pain Life stirred in the subliminal deep. Amid the world’s uproarious fuss and noise Interned, submerged, hidden in Matter’s trance You are its highest and its holiest Voice, Awoke to itself the dreamer, sleeping Mind; The Spirit’s tablets above the earth’s years It made a visible realm out of its dreams, Telling the secrets of the griefless spheres. It drew its shapes from the subconscient depths, O Himalayas’ timeless Fane of white, Then turned to look upon the world it had made. With the divine perfection so bright By pain and joy, the bright and tenebrous twins, You light the world and open to us The inanimate world perceived its sentient soul, The gates to the sweet breadths of Paradise. Else had the Inconscient never suffered change. The summits’ dawns down to the nights you bring, Pain is the hammer of the Gods to break The skyey Veda-calms to the ages sing, A dead resistance in the mortal’s heart, Show to the eyes peak-revelations steep, His slow inertia as of living stone. Grow in the hearts flame-aspiration deep; If the heart were not forced to want and weep, The triumph star of the souls’ sacred fight, His soul would have lain down content, at ease, Your Fane fulfills their prayers for the height, And never thought to exceed the human start Unveils in them God’s hidden living shrine And never learned to climb towards the Sun. And leads the world to the Victory divine Inspiring all to climb to God along— —Sri Aurobindo O Himalayas’ Fane, God’s Veda-Song! O Himalayas’ Fane, God’s Triumph strong! 1Collected Works of Sri Aurobindo, Vols. 33-34, Pondicherry: Sri Auro- bindo Ashram, 1997, pp. 442-443. —Ritam

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 33 To the Spiritual Muse With the mad dreams so sweet: He who has seen Your Glory-Face (Translation of Part V of my long poem in Russian, A Poet’s Gift) Forgets pain and defeat!

O Spiritual Muse’s deathless Face, O Voice unbound! Appear to me in Light! O diamond Sound! Your uncreated letters’ blaze God-Hymn’s Profound! Reveal in the sun-height! With Your immortal glowing lines O Muse of the gold secrecies, Light my imploring eyes! Song of the worlds of Light, The verse in which God lives and shines Sing up Your suns’ poem of bliss Grant to the poet’s cries! In the earth’s anguished Night! In the heart’s strings just chant, I pray, Wash with Your Ode’s immortal rhythms The skyey raptures’ runes, The sordid earthly clay, Resound Your harmonies’ array: In the black mass of the Abyss Swell in the soul’s tunes! Your Hymn of Radiance play! Let in the strings so light You whirl Into the sleepy fish-bog stream The cadences supreme Your diamond flux of Gods, And their twirling dance reveal Rear in the rhymes of Light agleam The soul’s starry gleam. Your Fane from the dark clods! Let in the living heart-beats sing O Sun of our dreams! O Height! The rhapsodies of Love In Your immortal shine And into the earth-cells they bring Flame in our world with all Your Light, Your flame-strains from above! With Your Choral Divine!

Inspire the poet’s wings upborne O Anthem-Whole! To soar In Your sun-blaze! To You we call! And an immortal Rhythm unborn We call— In him flame with Your Grace!— We all— A Poem of the Worlds! Call— A Love-Song of the Gods! O Grace, descend! Bend! Soar, O Rhythm! We pray! Create, O Rhythm! We try! Share, O Rhythm! We cry! Come O Rhythm! To our earth-home! The All-Rhythm! Rise here Your sun-dome! Your Home!— O Beauty-Muse, the Chant Supreme, How sweet’s Your perfect Face, OM OM OM Your Voice, the symphony of Dream, Your flight of sudden Grace, —Ritam The white flame of the wind-swift Wings, The lightning-Eyes’ sun-reach, The touch of the Lord The limbs that the orbs weave with their rhythms, The touch of the Lord The starry honey-speech! has warmed my sleeping heart Your Look attracts the poets’ heart and caused it to bloom. To burn, to soar above, In this dawn my heart opens Your Call inspires their wings to dart and the world fills with fragrance. Up to Your charming laugh! Their song Your wine intoxicates —Angelo Salerno

34 • Collaboration Spring 2013 A prayer and an answer Why hast Thou forsaken me, who sought none but Thee On the 9th December, 1950 at 7 pm, the writer of this poem, a to lead me on Thy path of Bliss? devotee of Sri Aurobindo from Bombay (who did not know any- thing about the Mother until then) had just arrived and was of- * fering the sand after the rosewood casket holding Sri Aurobindo was interred. Deep came Thy reply, ringing sure and clear, Why hast thou forsaken me, echoing in my vacant heart: O mighty splendor of the Supreme, “I’ve not left you, be sure, descended on earth to uplift the race? O my daughter of Delight. Why hast thou forsaken me, I shall ever be by your side when I sought only Thy Light and lead you through To guide me on Thy path of Delight? every ebb and perilous tide; Leave all your worries aside, I longed to sit at Thy lotus-feet I alone shall be your guide. to learn my lessons of life, Fear not. Be free and candid. and Thy way its ordeals to face. Do my will and act as I bid Why hast Thou left me then, in the luminous silence alone and helpless to strive of your surrendered self. and surmount its tempests, I shall answer your every call, its deep and turbulent waters, The moment is yours, mine the goal! O Lord of my sublime existence? All doubts ceased, questions erased Following Thy luminous trail, In thy all-powerful Presence sweet. I yearned to soar to the supernal heights, and roam in the infinite Vast of Thy glory ** with Thee as my omniscient guide unerring. Why then, O my magnetic beacon-light, Then, twelve days after Thy passing, hast Thou forsaken me? I saw Thy resplendent face ever-reassuring in the Mother sweet— Where shall I find now Her eyes of Light penetrating my being, Thy deep understanding and Following me wherever I be Divine compassion? with Her look, Her smile, —the Incontestable certitude Her Presence, all-embracing! of Thy victory of Truth decreed? Thy transporting vision of the Future *** and Thy transmuting touch reassuring? Where shall I seek Thy inspiration Years rolled on and half a century gone, to uplift me on its wings high-soaring? Rich with experiences of Thy decisive Presence. How shall I see the splendour and glory With absolute conviction now I can say: of Thy creative Force, all-transforming? Thou art living, indeed present, Or find the plentitude My Master and Guide, of Thy Bliss Supreme? with our mighty Mother by Thy side, Secretly leading the whole world On the day of Thy transcending by Thy unerring golden Light the mortal remains of Thy living, towards the advent of the New Race. I asked Thee again and again with tears incessantly streaming Salutations to Thee, O Lord ineffable, from the depths of my being: and to the Mother ever-gracious! O Lord of self-effulgent Light, O Lord of Bliss everlasting, —Kailas Jhaveri

Spring 2013 Collaboration • 35 Life is simple. Everything happens for you, There is nothing more important to true Apropos not to you. Everything happens at exactly growth than realizing that you are not the the right moment, neither too soon nor voice of the mind – you are the one who Be still. it takes no effort to be still; it is too late. You don’t have to like it... it’s just hears it. —Michael A. Singer utterly simple. When your mind is still, easier if you do. —Byron Katie you have no name, you have no past, you Whatever people think of you is really have no relationships, you have no coun- Your task is not to seek for love, but mere- about the image they have of you, and that try, you have no spiritual attainment, you ly to seek and find all the barriers within image isn’t you. —Don Miguel Ruiz have no lack of spiritual attainment. There yourself that you have built against it. is just the presence of beingness with itself. —Rumi Only to the extent that we expose our- —Gangaji selves over and over to annihilation can What you seek is already within you. You that which is indestructible in us be found. Silence is our true teacher because uncover it by shedding all that is untrue —Pema Chodron it speaks the language of our soul. within you. —Sampo Kaasila —Michael Jeffreys Desires are just waves in the mind. A de- The minute I think I can speak for some- sire is just a thing among many. I feel no The words shared don’t matter as much one else as if I know what it is like to be urge to satisfy it, no action needs be taken as the vibration they come from. —Elina him\her is the minute I cut myself off from on it. Freedom from desire means this: St-Onge the vibrancy of my own ignorance, and the compulsion to satisfy is absent. —Sri the wonder of the mystery that is another Nisargadatta The world we see merely reflects our own human being. —Benjamin Smythe internal frame of reference—the domi- Do you see that everything in the Uni- nant ideas, wishes and emotions in our One is pure awareness and the mind owes verse is simply doing its dance, i.e., ex- minds. We look inside first, decide the its existence to this awareness. When a pressing itself the only way it can... and kind of world we want to see and then seeker sees the mind and thoughts arising this is happening in every moment. Seeing project that world outside, making it the from the mind separate from himself, he this clearly brings instant relaxation and truth as we see it. We make it true by our knows that he has nothing to do with the peace. Why? Because if everything is do- interpretations of what it is we are seeing. mind. The mind does not bother him any ing the only dance it can, what is there to —A Course in Miracles more. He does not spend his time and ef- worry about? —Michael Jeffreys fort in silencing the mind. He just remains Be more interested in your inner-state as pure awareness, watching it all happen Understand your darkness and it will van- in any given situation than what is hap- in this awareness. —Tarun Sardana ish; then you will know what light is. Un- pening in the outer situation. What is my derstand your nightmare for what it is and inner-state at THIS moment is always pri- The more you have the more you want, it will stop; then you will wake up to real- mary. Dealing with external situations, the and you are stuck in a state of “wanting- ity. Understand your false beliefs and they outcome of this situation or that situation ness,” and there is no lasting satisfaction will drop; then you will know the taste of or this person agrees with me or does not in this circular cycle. Being in a state of happiness. —Anthony De Mello agree with me… all these are secondary “wanting-ness” creates suffering. Bear in things. —Eckart Tolle mind, having cravings or a desire for any- There is no one against us in this world thing that belongs in the physical world but ourselves. You are against you. A fail- The person in front of you is a reflec- is not a source of happiness; instead these ure to love, embrace, and accept yourself tion of yourself… be kind to yourself. cravings are a source of unhappiness. It is based on not a thing flows outwards and —Infinity Comfort not the lack of something that is behind causes conflict. Love you for being alive, your unhappiness; instead your craving is accept and embrace all of you, and where To seek security outside to fill the void the root cause behind your unhappiness. is the hate now? How can you hate another of insecurity inside is like trying to cure —Sampo Kaasila now? Where can conflict arise? —Barclay a wound by putting dirt on it. It only re- Littlewood doubles our insecurity because every- A meditative mind is at ease because it’s not thing that is outside is already insecure! trying to acquire anything. —Adyashanti Realize that what you have been seeking is —Satinder Dhiman what you already are. No matter what idea To be full of things is to be empty of God. you have of yourself in the future, see that Wanting something to make you happy is To be empty of things is to be full of God. it is only an image arising in the space of a sure way to be miserable. —Mooji —Meister Eckhart now. —Scott Kiloby

36 • Collaboration Spring 2013