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November 2020 | 3 Tapestry Practicing Self-Care Our Monthly Submissions from Readers

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November 2020 | 3 Tapestry Practicing Self-Care Our Monthly Submissions from Readers MINNESOTA WOMEN’S PRESS Being Whole GatekeepingSelf-Care Issue Issue | womenspress.com| womenspress.com | November | October 20202020 || IssueIssue 36-1136-10 MINNESOTA WOMEN’S PRESSPOWERFUL. EVERYDAY. WOMEN. Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation. And that is an act of political warfare. PHOTO RODEL QUERUBIN QUERUBIN RODEL PHOTO — Audre Lorde What’s inside? Editor Letter 3 Regeneration Requires Wholeness Tapestry 4-5 Practicing Self-Care Perspective 6 Amanda Koonjebeharry Sun Yung Shin: Wholeness as Practice Page 18 2021 Themes 7 What to look forward to from MWP Contact Us MWP team GoSeeDo 8 Virtual and In-person Art, Flip the Script 651-646-3968 Publisher/Editor: Mikki Morrissette Identity 12-13 Submit a story: [email protected] Managing Editor: Sarah Whiting Jenna Gruen: Missing the Boat Subscribe: [email protected] Business Strategy Director: Shelle Eddy Art of Living 14-15 Advertise: [email protected] Digital Development: Mikki Morrissette Tia Keobounpheng: Unweaving Find a copy: womenspress.com/find-a-copy Photography/Design: Sarah Whiting BookShelf 16-17 Deneal Trueblood-Lynch: Releasing Secrets Associate Editor: Lydia Moran The Minnesota Women’s Press has been sharing the Trauma 18 stories of women since 1985, as one of the longest Advertising Sales: Shelle Eddy, Ashley Findlay, Amanda Koonjebeharry: Dancing Out of Dark continuously published feminist platforms in the Ryan Stevens country. It is distributed free at 500 locations. Health 22 Accounting: Fariba Sanikhatam Hedy Tripp: I Am a One-Breasted Woman Our mission: Amplify and inspire, with personal This month’s writers: Kate Brune, Suzanne Fenton, stories and action steps, the voice, vision, and In the News 23 Jenna Gruen, Tia Keobounpheng, Sun Yung Shin, leadership of powerful, everyday women. Survivors Memorial, Winter Survival Solutions Shilow Sullyboo, Cate Triola, Hedy Tripp, Deneal Trueblood-Lynch Self-Care 26 Our vision: We all are parts of a greater whole. Our Suzanne Fenton: Reconnecting the Dots stronger future will be built from the collective energy Distribution: Sophia Morrissette of women who shift narratives to effect change. Community Engagement: Siena Iwasaki Milbauer, Lydia Moran Specialty guides Minnesota Women’s Press LLC Giving Guide 9-11 800 West Broadway Ave., Suite 3A Cover Photo: Deneal Trueblood-Lynch at Metro State Minneapolis, MN 55411 in St. Paul, photographed by Sarah Whiting. See her Q&A With Chanda Smith Baker story on page 16. Pets Guide 19-21 ©2020 by Minnesota Women’s Press LLC Cate Triola: Saving Each Other All rights reserved. ISSN #1085-2603 Follow @mnwomenspress Holiday Guide 24-25 Past Publishers: Kate Brune: Caring for Veterans in Crisis Mollie Hoben & Glenda Martin (1985-2002) Classifieds 27 Kathy Magnuson & Norma Smith Olson (2003-2017) Editor’s Letter Regeneration Requires Wholeness by Mikki Morrissette year ago, I suffered the body without correcting the underlying issue, issues that come from spending do not fix anything. too much time with a computer In the coming year, regardless of who Aon my lap. Neck and shoulder tension — a is elected on November 3 and who is reaction to terrible ergonomics and stress appointed to the Supreme Court, we — were reminders that I am not as flexible have a lot of long-term trauma. We know and relaxed as I used to be. our communities will not be whole until For months, the pain was significant underlying tensions are truly relieved. enough to curtail my ability to write and This month’s Being Whole theme is edit. I despaired that chiropractic care, about how we adjust individual stress heat treatments, icy-hot patches, pain so that we can be healthy through the pills, a standing desk, and a massage ball challenging months ahead. Editor’s Note: Our December were temporary relief. The women in this magazine share 2020 Changemakers magazine A wellness therapist (from our how they practice self-care and balance, will be combined with the January magazine) suggested that I should do create opportunities, reflect on missed theme of Legacy, to include an aggressive session of cupping. I was moments, practice intentional unweaving, essays inspired by the soon-to- desperate for a change and said yes. and find inspiration and ways to recharge. be-published book, “35 Years of Glass bulbs were heated and placed on Author Sun Yung Shin writes about how Minnesota Women’s Press.” my shoulders, creating a vacuum of air wholeness is partly remembering that we The special double magazine that acted as intense suction. My back are a collective. will be available online and in was ugly for several days, but one session As we march together into the winter print for two months. Recent dramatically released the tension. I was season, may we take the time to enhance survey comments indicated that able to return to normal activities and our personal energies and communal many readers would like to see stop using pain remedies. resources. The Minnesota Women’s Press long-form journalism; this will I bring up this personal and relatively community is about stepping together enable us to take the time to minor ailment as an analogy. Solutions into true collaborative change. develop long essays for both our that get to short-term, surface-level relief, print and online platforms. Are you tired of current systems that degrade human connections and natural ecosystems? Do you have Topic #1: Food security & Appetite for Change a passion or expertise around environmental health, economic equity, or conscious consumerism? Topic #2: Collectives & 40 Acre Co-op Minnesota Women’s Press is using its unique storytelling Coming up: Air quality, Habitats platform to connect people into a statewide community of individuals interested in action steps, best practices, Join the Ecolution by signing up at challenges, research, and solutions-based reporting. tinyurl.com/JoinEcolution Minnesota Women’s Press | womenspress.com | November 2020 | 3 tapestry Practicing Self-Care our monthly submissions from readers Talaya Dendy: My Three Cindy Slupick: Finding Stability in an Unstable World Pathways to Compassion “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be There have been areduced by it.” —Maya Angelou number of experiences I One of the key components of resilience is the capability to PHOTO JEANNINE POHL JEANNINE PHOTO have had that led me to want to help people feel bounce back in the face of adversity, trauma, or stress. It is a skill whole. The top three: being I honed to cope with serious chronic illness. Eight years ago I diagnosed with cancer, nearly died of drug toxicity because of a doctor’s prescription. being an introvert, and I lost my cognitive function, my driver’s license, and my self- embracing my natural hair. esteem. Life was so grim that there was talk of putting me in an When I was diagnosed assisted living facility. Little by little, I came back to life through with cancer, I had no idea brain training exercises, a rigorous physical fitness program, my how much my life was weekly support group, reaching out to friends, and reaffirming going to change. It doesn’t my faith. just impact your health. It Current events have swept away many of my carefully impacts your family, job, built mental and social underpinnings. Self-care for me is a finances, emotions, outlook necessity. I shut off the media cacophony of body counts. I on life, appearance. Sometimes cancer can make you feel like join peaceful protests and give resources to my community. your life is falling apart. But a cancer diagnosis does not mean Generosity acts as an anti-anxiety elixir. the end. Your life is not over. I also learned, and now share I am not whole unless my children and grandchildren are with others as a cancer doula, that the things you are feeling safe. The young parents are exhausted, but the little ones are okay and they are normal. are thriving. We have a daily text thread with pictures, and My experience being an introvert has been challenging at FaceTimes of developmental leaps. times. I am often misunderstood. If you are not bubbly and I am devoted to daily walks on local trails. In nature there social, people can assume the worst. Being judged based is solace, serenity, and spiritual renewal. I can seek out creeks, on whether or not I smile, how openly I talk to others, and parks, and neighborhood sloughs. I once saw a doe nursing my perceived lack of interest and low energy level, have her twin fawns. Though the school running team leaves me sometimes made me feel like I did not matter. in the dust, I am heartened by their enthusiasm. I appreciate Many years ago, when I decided to go natural with my hair, the upbeat charm in children’s iridescent chalk drawings of the beauty that people saw in my long, relaxed, straight hair was hearts, butterflies, and geometric designs. My favorite sign on no longer visible to some when my hair was tight and curly. One the trail is: “Have courage, be kind. This too shall pass.” guy asked me why I wear my hair that way — that it looks better When I look more closely, listen more clearly, and breathe straight. Thankfully, I do not place my value in my hair! deeply into my neighborhood, These experiences have helped me be kind to myself and it is time well spent. accept the fact that I am not for everyone and that is okay. We are living in a surreal They have helped me to truly acknowledge and understand world. The view out our the feelings of others better. windows is deceptively PHOTO COURTESY normal, but the danger is very real. Humans have a lot of capacity for resilience, but December/January Topic: The Legacy of Change we need to look out for each What is your resolution to make 2021 a time other and work together.
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