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The Sporting Image: What If? Chapter 9 Taxi for Agent Alan, to Rio and the French Connection Sean Dean and Clive Palmer Research Preface HE CREATIVE STORY IN THIS CHAPTER is a spoof comedic account of Alan Shearer playing the part of a CIA Agent. In order to spin T such a yarn it is seemingly helpful to know some context as to how such a story might come about. The tale starts when Alan retires from playing football after an illustrious career in the game. To all intents and purposes his stature and reputation within football as a player and now as an ambassador for the game may be a perfect cover to mask his secret agent activities for the USA! Alan Shearer was born in, Gosforth, Newcastle in 1970 to working-class parents Alan and Anne Shearer (Wikipedia, 2009). His father wanted him to take up football as a youngster. His football career started when he was a teenager playing for Wallsend Boys Club and from here he was scouted to trial at Southampton. He was offered a contract to play for Southampton in April 1986 (Wikipedia, 2009). Alan played for the Southampton first team in 1988 and was already starting to show his goal scoring prowess when he, “became the first man to score 30 Premier League goals in three successive seasons” (Newcastle United Football Club, 2008). After spending four years at the club he went on to play for Blackburn Rovers Football Club. At Blackburn FC, who paid at the time “a British record £3.6m fee in 1992” (NUFC, 2008), he would have his best years of football success in the Premiership. Blackburn managed to win the 143 Sean Dean and Clive Palmer Premiership in the 1994-95 season with Alan Shearer scoring a league record of 34 goals and take the title against Manchester United on the last day of the season (Wikipedia, 2009). The following year Blackburn FC could not defend their title even though Alan was the Premiership‟s top goal scorer again and this would attract two clubs to bid for Shearers talents in the process. Manchester United wanted to sign Alan Shearer in 1996 but this was not to be, as Newcastle United signed him again at what was at the time “a world- record fee of £15m” (BBC, 2006). He spent his final years as a player at Newcastle United FC, which was the team he always wanted to play for since he was a teenager at Wallsend Boys. At Newcastle however, he would never emulate the success he had at Blackburn Rovers, the best they achieved in his time there being runners up in the Premiership and the FA cup. A number of prestigious accolades were awarded to Alan; he won PFA (Professional Footballer‟s Association) player‟s player of the year award in 1995 and 1997, for Blackburn and then Newcastle. He also became Newcastle United‟s top goal scorer with 206 goals to his name, overtaking Jackie Milburn‟s record of 200 (BBC, 2006). He was also the Premiership‟s top goal scorer of all time with “260 goals in 441 games” (BBC, 2006). He was also named as Overall Player of the Decade, Domestic Player of the Decade, Outstanding Contribution to the Premier League and Top Goal Scorer (Talkfootball, 2008). Alan also received an OBE in 2001 (Order of the British Empire medal) for his services to football and was entered into the football hall of fame in 2004 for his contribution to both Club and Country (Talkfootball, 2008). Alan Shearer worked with many charities during his playing career and carried on his generous work when he retired. Perhaps his most significant fundraising effort was the 1.6 million pounds he generated for charities in the North East of England (Mail Online, 2006). His testimonial match for Newcastle United against Celtic on the 11th May 2006 was also dedicated to raise money for charity as well as being a farewell game paying tribute his football career (NUFC, 2008). There were many charities that benefited from the generous dedication from this part of the football world, for example, Among the organizations to benefit were the Nordoff Robbins Music Therapy charity, which received £608,000, the NSPCC, who received £347,000 and Newcastle General Hospital A & E and the Freeman 144 Taxi for Agent Alan Hospital were given £95,000 each. Wallsend Boys Club, where Shearer began his illustrious footballing career also received £15,000” (Mail Online, 2006). Helping out these charities meant a great deal to Alan because he wanted to help others to benefit from his successful football player, not just himself. He considers himself very lucky to play football at the highest level and to have the opportunity to give something back seemed the right thing to do (Mail Online, 2006). His England career started in 1992, when he was a regular in the Southampton team and proving to be a prolific goal scorer for them. One of the best years in Alan Shearer's history was in1996 when he claimed a first team spot in the England squad and England were going to play in the 1996 European Championships (Soccer-fans-info, 2007). Even though England did not make the final of that tournament Alan achieved his own success by winning the Golden Boot with five goals scored in the tournament. During the lead up to qualifying for the European‟s in 2000, Shearer struggled to score goals for England, in fact, “he had failed to score in eight games” (BBC, 2000). He did manage to score a hat-trick against Luxembourg (Talkfootball, 2008; BBC, 2000), which allowed England to qualify for the Euro 2000 competition. Due to injuries throughout his career, he retired from International football after the Europeans in 2000 as it, “was becoming a challenge too far” (BBC, 2000). As a result of his injuries he struggled to regain that extra speed to beat defenders and found it harder to score. However, his goal scoring record for England was impressive scoring thirty times in sixty three games, making it almost a goal every other game (BBC, 2000). Having retired he now works for the BBC on the television show Match of the Day. Alan Shearer said he wanted to have time to do other things before becoming a manager too soon. However, after completing his UEFA pro license, Alan was able to manage a premier league team and was asked to manage Newcastle United for the remainder of the 2008-09 season. He took up the challenge, as he was ready, the BBC gave him eight weeks off and saw him appointed at the start of April for the remaining eight games. The task was to try and save Newcastle United from regulation from the Premiership to the Championship (Telegraph, 2009), which ended up them being regulated. He is still a pundit for BBC‟s Match of the Day, alongside Gary Lineker and Alan Hanson. 145 Sean Dean and Clive Palmer References BBC (2000) Sad farewell for Shearer, BBC Sport [online]. Available at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/euro2000/teams/england/799370.stm (Accessed 4th December, 2009). BBC (2006) Injury forces Shearer retirement BBC Sport [online]. Available at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/n/newcastle_united/4929358.st m (Accessed 3rd December, 2009). Mail Online (2006) Shearer gives £1.6million testimonial money to charity, Mail Online [online]. Available at: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article- 412938/Shearer-gives-1-6million-testimonial-money-charity.html (Accessed 4th December, 2009). Newcastle United Football Club (2008) Managers: Alan Shearer (2009), NUFC [online]. Available at: http://www.nufc.premiumtv.co.uk/articles/alan-shearer- 2009-20090402_2241256_1643848 (Accessed 3rd December, 2009). Soccer-Fans-Info (2007) Alan Shearer Biography, [online]. Available at: http://www.soccer-fans-info.com/alan-shearer-biography.html (Accessed 3rd December, 2009). Talkfootball (2008) Alan Shearer, [online]. Available at: http://www.talkfootball.co.uk/guides/football_legends_alan_shearer.html (Accessed 4th December, 2009). Telegraph (2009) Alan Shearer to be Newcastle United manager until end of season, Telegraph Sport‟s Desk[online], available at: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/championship/newcastleunite d/5086053/Alan-Shearer-to-be-Newcastle-United-manager-until-end-of- season.html (Accessed 4th December, 2009). Wikipedia (2009) Alan Shearer Wikipedia [online]. Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Shearer (Accessed 3rd December, 2009). 146 Taxi for Agent Alan Creative Story Taxi for Agent Alan – Rio and the French Connection Sean Dean and Clive Palmer IS PHONE BLEEPED IN AN UNUSUAL WAY, “oh no, not now”, he knew what it meant and his heart started racing. But right now he H was on set at the BBC commentating on a live broadcast following a match that saw Newcastle lose to Sunderland in an exciting 3-1 derby victory. Alan was magnanimous in the defeat of his former club and generous with his comments about Sunderland, even charitable one might say. But realizing what was going on in the real world his eyes shifted furtively. He was in a rush now… and it was official… “Excuse me Gary, excuse me Alan”, he said, as he stood up impatiently and pushed past the pair of panicking pundits (NB: and that‟s not easy to say on any day of the week, well done reader). In doing so he stood on Alan‟s toe, unintentionally of course, you could call it a professional foul amongst friends, “oww you Makem baffoon” Hanson bawled in his subtle Glaswegian tone, not known as a person for mincing his words.

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