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THE TULANE HULLABALOO------VIEWS ------OCTOBER 12, 2007 • 13 •POLITICS• •SOCIETY• One-sided gubernatorial Births in U.S.

race with Jindal as leader \Vhat do YOU think . too technical t ｦ ｲ ｯ ｮ ｴ Ｍ ｲ ｵ ｮ ｮ ｾ ｲ Giving birth My first cousin immigrated to about L>nisiana Win should be easy for La. Republican in Lakeside hos- Austria and gave birth there. When pital 16 months she was overdue. the mid-wives JX>lities? On Oct. 20. a host of press clippings from sec- be a cakewalk for . In a ago "as a trau- made her drink a mixture ofa spoon vot- ond-tier state news sources. poll taken by the Southeastern Loui- matizing experi- of goat milk and olive oil and were ers v. ill proudly The other Democrat in the race siana University Social Science Re- ence. able to induce labor without the use march to the is . whose plat- search Center from Oct. 1-6. Bobby I had an in- of chemicals. polls and elect form consists solely of eliminat- Jindal had a whopping 49 .6 percent. duced labor I also know one ofthe first wom- a governor. and ing the Louisiana income tax and With a margin of error of 4 percent, about one week en in Czechoslovakia to test giving Vendula it's going to be replacing it v. ith a tax on oil and Jindal may already have the votes after my due birth in water about 30 years ago. Vlasakova Congressman gas companies. Campbell claims he needs to eliminate the necessity date. A finn be- She was delighted - the water re- Megan Bobby Jindal. that this will result in "the great- of a runoff. Boasso is the only other liever in natural Cox lieved her back and gave her free- Seriously. is any- est economic [boom] in Louisiana candidate in double-digits, with 11.2 births. I had hoped to avoid tak- dom to change positions. body other than history:· However. Campbell may percent. and Foster ing an epidural or having a cesar- Since my experience at Lake- Bobby Jindal running for gover- have taken his populist message a Campbell have 9.2 percent and 5.6 ean-section unless the situation was side. I have read many stories of nor? Can you name any ofthe other bit too far. Hilarity ensues when- percent. respectively. critical. The assisting nurse called Czech women giving birth abroad candidates? If you knew that John Of course. the Political Econo- my doctor as the birthing process who were in the same situation I •A I mow 1s gathered bm ｴ ｾ ･ ｩ ｲ Georges, and Foster my department would tell you that progressed and my pain grew. and was. In no case did someone force campaign commert dis, wtich Campbell \\ere running for gover- Bobby Jindal has all crazy things can happen m elec- he came to assist me around mid- an epidural on them: in no case was are clearly not objective.· nor of Louisiana. I'm absolutely tions, particularly when you sub- the following of a night. So far. everything was going a c-section deemed necessary. Paul Weller positive you cheated and looked at scribe to the complete insanity of normally. junior ｲ ｯ ｣ ｾ ｳ ｴ ｡ ｲ Ｎ I told myself before trusting my the article for their names. 'Badass' is a plurality runoff voting system. The situation quickly degener- maternit) care to an American hos- finance and accounting According to my highly unsci- a word frequently In the 2006 mayoral ated. though. when I made it known pital that ifany simple nurse in Swe- entific reconnaissance, the only election. actually that my pain had increased. prompt- den. Switzerland. France or Ger- candidate anybody knows about. used to describe won the first round of voting. but ing the maternity ward nurse to be- many can lead childbirth. a nurse cares about or will be voting for is him. was beaten by Ray N agin in the gin shouting at me in my face due from the should then Bobby Jindal. head-to-head runoff. That caveat to every sound coming from my certainly be able to do the same. Jindal has all the following of a mentioned. I certainly don"t think mouth. The doctor was obviously This is the most developed country rock star... Badass:· is a word fre- ever Campbell compares himself we'll be seeing anything of the very upset with this un-profession- in the world: surely they will have quently used to describe him. Of to Huey P. Long. And not· in a "I kind in Jindal's case. alism on the nurse ·s part. but he bouncing balls and tubs and know course. 'lie don't name many of wouldn't be corrupt like him." Even if 'he do have a runoff ultimately chose to ignore it. Still, all those old wives· fonnulas. his policy prescriptions when we way, but a "he was on the Public election, it wouldn't surprise me it should have been me as the cen- I believe in the supremacy of do. My favorite reason why Bobby Services Commission. too. so I'm if the support from the eliminated ter of attention that night. not their the sciences. but any doctor who is Jindal is badass is that he delivered qualified to be governor" way. candidates went to Jindal. People drama queen. willing to put scientific talk aside his own baby. When Huey Long is held up as are funny creatures; we want to After seven hours of unsuccess- will tell you that childbirths are While it has been pointed out the paragon of gubernatorial virtue. win. or we want to side with some- ful tries at delivery, l\vo other doc- excessively technical in the United ·r,orn whJt ｾ ･ seer, Iti nk to me that Mrs. Jindal did most of you know you may have a prob- one v•ho will. When undecided or tors were paged who decided an States. a point that I experienced Bobby Jirdal corres off really the work v.hile the Congressman lem. ambivalent. the instinct often is extractor was necessary. firsthand. Anesthesia slows down fake in 111scor1merc.al5. merel. had to catch said baby on John Georges. the independent, to vote for the candidate who we After I finally gave birth. the births. c-sections augment the risk JJ.White its wa)' out. it still makes for a fan- seems to be the only viable alterna- think has the best chance of win- nurse continued to pester me about of death for the mother and extrac- freshman tastic story. tive to Bobby Jindal, at least given ning the election. not of running my birthing decision and said I tors augment the risk of damaging business Maybe one of the reasons no- the level of organization displayed the city/state/country well. should get an epidural next time. the newborn baby's brain. body knov.s about an) of the other by his campaign Web site. His only Of all the bandwagons Louisi- The final straw. however. was Statistics show that Western Eu- candidates is that they aren"t worth prior public service is serving six ana voters could climb aboard. we when she brought my child to me rope has a much lower death rate for knov.ing. Many straight-ticket terms on the Louisiana State Board could do worse than Bobby Jindal. for the first time. I asked her if I mothers and children during birth Democrats would be voting for the of Regents. the governing body and at this point. we probably could breast-feed my son. to which than the United States. Some stud- Democratic candidate in this race if of LSU. If the independent thing couldn't do better. she answered, "Do ies even suggest that there really v. ere one. didn't convince you that this guy whatever you want: the rapidly increasing \\!alter Boasso, the "Democrat," can't maJ..'e up his mmd. he's also 1"1egan Cox is the assistant it's your child." be- Any doctor who numbers of autistic recently hopped the fence from the served on the Tulane Presidenfs views edit01;-and a ｾ ｯ ｰ ｨ ｯ ｭ ｯ ｲ Ｎ in fore slamming the is willing to put children m in the Republican Party. His Web site Council. Pick a side. pal. Neivcomb-Tulane College. She can door behind her. United States might be features no policy plans or ne\\ The poll numbers reflect the basic be reached/or comment at mcox@ The next day the scientific talk aside caused by excessive initiatives. merely a biography and assumption that this election should tulane.edu doctor came and will tell you that use of chemicals and apologized for the childbriths are technical interventions "Is ｴ ｨ ･ ｾ ･ even d qovernr1ent n misbehavior of the excessively technical during childbirths. New Or'ears1 This is a warning to Rachel Liverman nurse. In the end. I in the United States. chose to ignore the future mothers at Tu- senior management entire incident be- lane. especially those cause I love m) doctor. But after ofyou who grew up abroad and saw receivmg more and more co-pay- your mothers. aunts. cousins and ments. m) anger began to increase. sisters have normal childbirths it Why was I paying so much money will not be possible here. If you are for such unprofessional service? pregnant. I highly recommend you I was expecting something com- to fly back to your homelands. If pletely different. I grew up in the your passport situation prevents Czech Republic, and since child- you from doing so. hire a doula. hood, I have been surrounded by And if you naively insist on giv- women who have all had successful ing birth in an American hospital. natural childbirths. When my girl- don't scream - it causes enormous friend "as giving birth. her child discomfort for the nurses. poor 'houldn "t "go down.'" so they sent dears! her to jump on a bouncing ball. f'..ot "Nagm walks around 1r a pir only did it relax her back., but it also Vendula Vlasakova is a guest stnpe suit and expensive ｾ ｨ ｯ ･ ｜ helped her daughter to "slide" low- wnter and a graduate student in the wh1c'l is 1n no way ｾ ･ ｬ ｰ Ｑ ｲ ｧ tre er and avoid the use of an extractor School ofLiberal Arts res,wectio:i of New Orleans. or forceps tool Alex Kambanis freshman history

•SOCIETY• Be still, tny bleeding activist heart A befuddlingforay into the ever-increasing world ofmass demonstrations for one student

This past only made my muddled thinking dence to its ADD- nature, listing quired. It's probably a byproduct of weekend. I near- process worse. "Protests," "Demonstrations." Obviously. the popularity of the the nature of today's society- a 'They ｳ Ｑ Ｑ ｣ ｾ - we ieed better ly became my After surfing the Internet for "Riot," "Anarchist," "Commu- Jntemet and the case of finding in- do-as-much-as-you-can mental- people 1r office· father's worst several hours looking for some nist." "Earth First" and "Pro- fonnation on it are partly to blame. ity. The busier you are. the better Jason Bienemy nightmare - a random cause to join, I think I've Choice" as the different ·options Coupled with too much emphasis you look. overlooking your own freshman, Loyola ｕ ｮ ｩ ｶ ･ ｾ ｩ ｴ ｹ college-dropout come across the reason why no available. Possibly the most in- on saving the world from every well-being for the sake of the ap- finance hippie running one participates in mass protests evil out there. effort is spread too pearance of involvement. I don't .. off to Washing- anymore - there is too much anti- thin and causes are lost in the on- think the bleeding-heart activists of yesteryear would appreciate Lauren ton D.C. with whatever floating around. With too much slaught. No wonder no one cares glossing over the issues to get Noel anti-everything I stumbled across a Web site these days - there is too much to on my mind. My that perfectly demonstrates the emphasis on saving the care about. as many under your belt as pos- recent viewing of the new movie problem: Protest.net. Providing Moreover. protesters are now sible. world from every evil, ,. "Across the Universe" was like a infonnation about every cause looked upon with a sigh and a Pick one and pour your heart ,, conversion experience. I came out on earth, this Web site is a wan- effort is spread too ｾ Ｇ ｨ ｯ ｷ cliche." They aren't taken into it. Don't worry about getting wanting to protest anything and nabe hippie's dream. From Day thin and causes are lost seriously because their support to everything. Meanwhile, I still everything at the front doors of the Against Police Brutality (Mar. 15) runs all over the gamut of issues haven't decided what mine will White House. not to mention the to International Day of Farmers in the onslaught. and crises. be - I'm thinking of becoming a One minute someone can be tree-hugger, an environmentalist to . intense yearning to live in a musi- Struggle (Apr. 17) to Internation- ｾ cal of Beatles' songs (forgoing the al Media Democracy Day (Oct. teresting part is the link to Hitch- protesting against partial-birth the fullest. _____ ..____ ｾ ,, LSD). 19), the overwhelming amount of Hikers.org, just in case you need abortion then the next focusing on Just kidding, Dad. ､ ｾ ､ ｬ ｬ ｹ ｷ ｾ ･ ｲ ･ I racked my brains for some- "days" translates into a year-round a ride to where you want to go. providing teens with birth control. • think that, just else mour country, are r fe thing to pour my energies into. A state of protest and not even for This Web site is like the Walmart It just looks like none of them Lauren Noel is the views editor trey ｣ ｯ ｲ ｲ ｾ ｰ ｴ Ｎ ｯ ｲ .. million thoughts later. I decided the same thing. of activism information · a can make up their mind, not that and a junior in Newcomb-Tulane with :· Cat Bellak to turn to the World Wide Web Even the description that the one-stop site for all your anti-es- they actually do care about every- College. She can be reached at sophomore to narrow down my ideas, which search engine provides lends evi- tablishment needs. no effort re- thing. ., /[email protected]. theater

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