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The Anchor: 1993 The Anchor: 1990-1999
4-7-1993
The Anchor, Volume 106.22: April 7, 1993
Hope College
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Recommended Citation Repository citation: Hope College, "The Anchor, Volume 106.22: April 7, 1993" (1993). The Anchor: 1993. Paper 9. https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/anchor_1993/9 Published in: The Anchor, Volume 106, Issue 22, April 7, 1993. Copyright © 1993 Hope College, Holland, Michigan.
This News Article is brought to you for free and open access by the The Anchor: 1990-1999 at Hope College Digital Commons. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Anchor: 1993 by an authorized administrator of Hope College Digital Commons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE RANCHOR / April Fool's a few days late... i i CAMPUS / The Anchor cranks out two marks of distinction in critique / 3 A & E / Gospel concert — worship in an ecumenical way / 5 Volume 106, Number 22 April 7.1993 Hope College, Holland, Michigan Serving the Hope Community for 106 Years Congress cabinet election ballots available "—while body to be involved with. social backgrounds and ethnicities by Scott Runyon "1 believe that Student Congress and those who have different vi- editor-in-chief Congress Cabinet Responsibilities: is the voice of the student body," sions for Congress and the student said Holly Moore, president of Con- body. President: runs weekly meetings, decides the agenda for these Ballots for the 1993-94 Student gress. "It's easy for one voice to get "What 1 am trying to do is get the meetings, oversees all aspects of the Congress, organizes up Congress cabinet elections are now lost. Congress is here so that indi- best people possible to run," he said. committees and task forces, acts as chief representative of the available for any who wish to run vidual student concerns are heard." "There are two different groups student body, is official fiason between Congress, the student for the top three positions. "It's difficult for one student to of people who can run for the Stu- body and the administration. Ballots can be picked up at the know who to talk to if they have dent Congress cabinet," Kuiper said. Congress office and must be ^a problem since the ad- "Those who have been on Congress tumed in to the office by 5 XA CQkfcjfrSv ministrative structure before and those who haven't." p.m. (sharp) Monday, of the school is very "Both groups have valuable per- oversees the writing and distribution of the meeting minuk s, April 12 to register indi- confusing," she spectives to offer." selects the secretary, keeps Congress records and is responsible viduals for the April 19 said. "Congress be- "We wouldn't want everyone election.. Candidates comes the middle who is running to have the same must have collected a man to take con- vision for the student body because certain number of sig- cerns to the admin- we want students to pick from a natures on their ballots to istration." variety of candidates," Kuiper said. "The message we are sending is be eligible: 100 for presi- Congress is looking zatlons and runs the spring budgeting process to allocate the dent, 50 for vice president and for diverse people to run in 'whoever you are, you have some- student activity funds. 75 for comptroller. the election according to Vice Presi- thing to offer the student body. If The present cabinet feels that dentJoeKuiper('93), whoisorga- you are motivated, dedicated, have Congress is an important body on nizing the election. Kuiper would a vision for your campus and the All members: be prepared to maintain and ild Congress Hope's campus representing stu- like to see on the election ballot old student body, we want you,'" he momentum. dents and therefore a very worth- and young students from different said. Clean-Up Day to serve community Voigt and Hammond
by Scott Runyon editor-in-chief to share readings Hope College and acclaimed Southemer'sdevotion to family and Hope students will volunteer poets are becoming closely tied. a naturalist's devotion to the physi- for a second time to help the Hol- Poets Ellen Bryant Voigt and Mary cal world... Voigt's high-pitched and land community through a "Com- Stewart Hammond will give a incisive poems often strike directly munity Clean Up Day" on April reading at Hope College on Thurs- for the emotional core of their sub- 17, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. day, April 8, at 8 p.m. in the Maas ject, but just as often they do so Hope organizations and indi- Auditorium. slowly, patiently, with a lush sense vidual students alike can now sign Voigt will be visiting the campus of their own verbal wanderings and from helping individuals. vice organizations, up to participate in the event, with as a writer-in-residence enjambments, with a "These things are minor in com- fraternities, sororities and honor between 150 and 200 student vol- during the weeks of April deep sense of the dense, parison to the comment I received societies," Kuiper said. They unteers anticipated. 4 and April 25 through discursive wealth of from an elderly lady," he said. "It completed more than 15 major First organized in 1991, the Lila Wallace- language." was a simple thank you." projects and assisted in the homes "Community Clean Up Day" is Reader's Digest Writing The Writing Fel- The first half of the day will of more than 40 Holland disabled sponsored by Student Congress. Fellows program. lows program is made "This is a great way for Hope consist of student organizations or elderly. Hammond is the 1992 possible by the Lila conducting large projects, such as "This year, we hope to have an students to give something back Great Lakes Colleges Wallace-Reader's Di- cleaning a local park or picking up even greater turnout, so we are to their community," said Joe Association Poetry gest Fund and adminis- litter along the highway. The re- making a special effort to get as Kuiper ('93), vice president of Award Winner. tered by the Woodrow Congress. "We know that when mainder of the day will involve in- many as possible from the Hope In addition to her Wilson National Fel- we leave we will have made people dividual students performing spring community involved," he said. reading, Voigt will par- lowship Foundation. happy." cleaning and maintenance chores- The time commitment is about ticipate in writing work- y . The purpose of the pro- Even though the first clean up such as raking lawns, washing win- one hour on the 17th unless groups shops and work with in- 9 gram is to stimulate day received wide praise in news- dows, painting or cleaning—in the or individuals want to take on dividual students and faculty mem- greater appreciation of the written papers, television, radio and even homes of the elderly or disabled. additional projects after their first bers. She will also work with groups word through interaction with the a "life enricher" award from the "In the past, this event was a assignment is done. It is also an in the Holland community. best of contemporary writers. Amway Corporation, Kuiper felt great success and involved the par- opportunity for some to work off "Having an artist of this stature According to the foundation, the that much more satisfaction came ticipation of numerous campus ser- community service hours. on campus for an extended period of Writing Fellows program is the time will enable many people in the largest national program bringing Hope and Holland communities to writers to campuses, and wil 1 involve Forensics makes mark at nationals get personal attention from an ac- more than 50 colleges during a four- All three speakers from the Hope sics, coach for Hope's team and an to rank so high consistently claimed poet and an extraordinary year period. The participating College Forensic Association assistant professor of communica- throughout the semester is inspir- teacher of poetry. We are very for- schools are private liberal arts col- (HCFA) were recognized for their tion. ing," Alspach said. "I just wish Jeff tunate," said Jack Ridl, professor of leges that are cultural centers for performances at the Pi Kappa Delta "Trent's performance is truly a had found forensics before his se- English and advisor of Opus, the their communities. A return visit by National Forensic Honorary Frater- fitting climax for his forensic career nior year, his talent and drive are reading's sponsor. the Fellow is to be arranged. nity National Tournament, held and testimony to his talent and hard truly national champion quality." Voigt is a founding teacher in the The Lila Wallace-Reader's Di- March 18-20 at the University of work," Alspach said. Altogether the Hope speakers Warren Wilson College Program, gest Fund is committed to strength- Puget Sound in Tacoma, Wash. Kari Liljehom ('96) earned "Ex- amassed 36 Individual Speaking and has taught at Massachusetts ening the growth and appreciation Trent Wakenight ('93) received cellent" in "Informative Speaking" Sweepstakes points,placing the team Institute of Technology, Goddard of American culture in the 20th cen- "Superior" plaques in "Informative and "Good" (top 50 percent) in at the "Excellent" level. Hope ranked College and Iowa Wesleyan College. tury. The Woodrow Wilson National Speaking" and "Speech to Enter- "Impromptu Speaking." Although 21st of the 73 teams entered in Indi- She is the author of Two Trees Fellowship Foundation is a non- tain." "Superior" is awarded to the she is a first-year intercollegiate vidual Speaking. (1992), The Lotus Flowers (1987), profit organization dedicated to ex- top 10 percent of the competitors in competitor, her national perfor- The competition at the national The Forces of Plenty (1983) and cellence in education. the event. Wakenight won "Excel- mance advanced her to the rank of tournament included 635 partici- Claiming Kin (1976), and has work Hammond's collection Out of lent" plaques in "Persuasion" and "Honor" in PKD, a ranking gener- pants, speakers and judges, from 87 included in numerous anthologies. Canaan was awarded the GLCA "Impromptu Speaking" for placing ally granted only to second-year or chaptersofPKD. Alspach said those She has received awards from poetry award for 1992. Her poems in the top 30 percent of the competi- "varsity" speakers. attending represented some of the the Guggenheim Foundation, NEA, have appeared in many magazines, tors in these events. Jeff Walton ('93) finished best intercollegiate speakers from Massachusetts Institute of Tech- including The New Yorker, The At- With his performance at the Na- "Good" in three of his five events: more than 30 states. nology, Virginia Quarterly Review, lantic, American Poetry Review and tional Tournament, Wakenight "Prose Interpretation,""Impromptu "With Kari placing in both of her Breadloaf Writers and Vermont The Paris Review. earned the rank of "Special Dis- Speaking" and "Persuasion." events, there is reason to be excited Council on the Arts. She is listed in Out of Canaan evokes the poi- tinction" in Pi Kappa Delta, the Walton narrowly missed the cut for about the future of forensics at International Who's Who in Poetry% gnant history of four generations of highest speaking performance rank "Good" rankings in both "Poetry Hope," she said. "Kari has just be- Contemporary Authors and Who's Hammond's Southern family. in the fraternity, and the first "Spe- Interpretation" and "Rhetorical gun to scratch the surface of her Who of American Women. Sandra Gilbert, in Poetry, called Out cial Distinction" earned by a Hope Criticism." speaking gifts." In reviewing Claiming Kin for of Canaan a "stunning first collec- speaker under the direction of Sandra "For a first-year competitor with -—Hope College News Service The Nation, Edward Hirsch wrote, tion." Alspach, who is director of foren- no previous high school experience "Ellen Bryant Voigt writes with a —Hope College News Service Thinking Ahead NEWS OF INTEREST Stephanie Grier
BOSNIA Why just one president? Bosnian Serbs continue to refuse to sign a U.N. sponsored peace plan. Cyrus Vance, the former U.S. secretary of state who BilljClinton has now been in foreign issues and affairs of state, this is not necessarily the case. In represented the U.N. in the area resigned his position, calling the office for more than two months, while the premier conducts many situations, the president job the most difficult he has attempted. Separately, U.N. forces and we as citizens have all had the internal business and forms selects people for his cabinet for opportunity to reflect upon the domestic policy. This system other reasons besides expertise were forced to end rescue operations in the town of Srebrenica accuracy of our votes. Are we makes it possible for each person and knowledge. For example, after refugees were killed in a stampede. sorry that we did not re-elect a to be extremely well-versed in an would Bill Clinton appoint a man strong foreign policy president, or individual political arena, without that he knew would try to check NORTH KOREA do we feel that Clinton is capable sacrificing any expertise in his policy at every turn? Certainly The North Korean government, increasing economic and political enough? Are we happy with the another part of the government. not! Rather, he would appoint isolation, withdrew from the non-proliferation treaty which it new plan to reduce the deficit, or This would vastly improve the someone that he knew would fit in signed in 1991. The NPT required regular inspection of nuclear do we think that perhaps Perot performance of any political well with his team of advisors, and facilities by inspectors of the 1AEC. Most countries assume that could have done a better job. leader, since he or she would no perhaps even someone who had North Korea's withdrawal from the treaty signifies the North's 1 have heard several people longer have to compromise his done him a favor in the past. It is intention to build nuclear devices. state that they wish we could have knowledge in order to handle his goal to keep everyone on his elected all three. Bush could everything alone. In addition, this side, and not to make the Oval continue to lend his experienced plan would enhance the system of Office a debating forum. CANADA care to issues of foreign policy, checks and balances so that it Perhaps this is a good indica- President Clinton and Russian President Yeltsin met at a summit while Clinton handled domestic would include a real sense of tion of what America should do this weekend. Although substantive issues are to be discussed, issues such as health care and cooperative policy-making on with it's government in the future. such as U.S. economic aid to the republic, Clinton's political education. Perot would be behalf of more than just one Instead of giving one party,and support of Yeltsin is perhaps the most important. The Russian responsible for economic advise- person. There would no longer be one man,absolute control over president has come under fire in his own country for the pace and ment and deficit reduction. just one leader to blame for the both foreign and domestic issues, effectiveness of the free-market reforms he is attempting to Of course, this plan would not historical events of a term in we should consider dividing up implement. be at all possible under the present office, but rather a group of men the tasks so that each job can be formation of the executive branch, who would be exercising checks handled by the best man possible. WASHINGTON but it seems to have some merit upon each other before history got Experience has shown us that one Clinton's budget has encountered opposition from both sides of when one regards the governmen- away from them. president usually doen't excel at tal structures of many foreign Although it may be argued that both policy areas, so why don't we the aisle. Senate Republicans have resorted to a filibuster in an nations. For example, in China the presidential cabinet performs use that knowledge to better attempt to force cuts in the President's stimulus package. Senate there are two executive leaders. the teamwork functions necessary influence ourselves and our Democrats continue to protect pel projects in their slates. Georgia The president of China handles to provide checks and balances. country? Senator Nunn stated that deeper cuts in defense than what the White House requested may be necessary, as the White House has Summit yields economic aid for Russia not decided on any major projects to cut in fiscal year 1994.
eral weeks ago, which Khasbulatov further the democratization of Rus- MINNESOTA by Dave Chamin challenged in the Russian High sia. Republican Senator David Durenburger was indicted on Tuesday news editor Court. The Court sided against Most observers felt that increased for attempting to illegally collect on travel benefits. The senator Yeltsin, and Khasbulatov claimed U.S. aid is a necessity if Yeltsin's and two Minnesota businessmen were indicted by grand jury. Russian President Boris Yeltsin victory. economic reforms are to continue. Denying any wrongdoing, Durenburger vowed to fight the reminds many of former Premier Yeltsin took his case to the people, Although still popular,. Yeltsin's indictment. Gorbachev. and called for a referendum on the approval ratings have fallen sharply Caught between a backward- 25th of this month. Tens of thou- in the past three months, with looking Congress and a restless sands marched and demonstrated in worsening economic conditions. At Phi Beta Kappa honorary populace, action is necessary. support of the president across Rus- the summit in Canada, Clinton is However, little agreement exists on sia. Khasbulatov backed down from expected to offer aid, yet continue to society initiates new members the right action. This weekend. his hard-line stance in favor of im- press for commitment to reforms. Fifty Hope College graduating ognition of their high grade point President Clinton met with Presi- peachment, and newspapers pro- Part of the problem has been dis- seniors and recent graduates have average in liberal arts courses, thdr dent Yeltsin and discussed Ameri- claimed Yeltsin the victor in the tribution of aid, according to been elected to Phi Beta Kappa, the exceptional scholarly ability, ami can aid to the Russian Republic, latest round with a Congress con- Ananina, but she felt that increased nation's oldest scholastic honorary their independent and creative along with issues of mutual security trolled by former communists. aid would be effective with "better society. scholarly activities. concern. While events in Russia are mere and more equal distribution." For more than 200 years, election A formal initiation ceremony and The summit itself has taken sec- newspaper clips for U.S. observers, In an attempt to address the to Phi Beta Kappa has been a rec- reception will take place on Sunday, ond stage to the problems Yeltsin the Russian students on campus view economic crisis, Clinton promised ognition of intellectual capacity well April 18, at 2 p.m. in the Maas has faced back home. The Congress the situation from a more personal $1.6 billion in aid. Clinton's prom- employed, especially in acquiring Centerauditorium. Students wiUaBo of People's Deputies, a body not standpoint. ''It is too early to say ise will encounter opposition in an education in the liberal arts and be recognized during the collegers popularly elected, has attempted to what the outcome will be, good or Congress, where some members feel sciences. The objectives of humane Honors Convocation on Thursday, decrease Yeltsin's authority. bad," Olga Ananina ('96) said. Al- that American dollars should be learning encouraged by Phi Beta April 29, at 11 a.m. in Dimnefit Khasbulatov, the leader of the Con- though she is glad that the commu- spent at home. However, the presi- Kappa include intellectual honesty Memorial Chapel. ^ gress, has emerged as the chief op- nists did not achieve greater power, dent has expressed his commitment and tolerance, range of intellectui Hope College is one of seven ponent to Yeltsin, and recently called the current situation does not allay to Yeltsin's economic reforms, and interests and understanding, not institutions of higher education Tn for impeachment proceedings. her fears. She said Yeltsin might it is likely that a majority of the merely knowledge. the state of Michigan to have •a Yeltsin responded to the Congress emerge as "another dictator or au- promised funds will be appropri- Hope faculty who are members chapter of Phi Beta Kappa. The by declaring emergency rule sev- thoritarian ruler," which would not ated. of Phi Beta Kappa have elected chapter, Zeta of Michigan, was students to Phi Beta Kappa in rec- chartered in 1971. Crop walk for hunger and more -Hope College News Service ^ forestation, grain storage, livestock, gees. by Laura Meyer bee-keeping and so on, CWS also Medical and development train- 1993 PHI BETA KAPPA INDUCTEES assistant chaplain provides nutrition, education, ing is providing assistance in Guate- Ari Singh Anand, Laura M. Lumsden, Ericka L. The Crop Walk is often associated medical and legal assistance, and malan refugees in Mexico. Last year, Bachelder, Shelly Jo Bareman, Lyszak,Kathryn Michelle with world hunger but many don't technological training where ap- CWS sent $250 thousand to Zim- realize that funds raised by local propriate. babwe churches to help combat the Julie Marie Barrett, Mary Jane Markwood, Ryan McFall, Dou- ^ Crop Walks meet human needs be- Walkers choose to complete ei- drought and $1 million for relief Bosker, Timothy Martin glas B. Mesecar, Nicole Marie •% yond the ongoing hunger crisis. ther a four-mile or eight-mile route. supplies in Miami following Hurri- Christensen, Mary Kathryn Mueller, Stacy Lynn t Community-organized Crop All Hope students walking will cane Andrew. Christian, Linda Rachelle Coney, Muhlenkamp, Matt Muller, Walks raise hunger and emergency benefit from the "Hope Faculty/Staff ' Hope had 250 walkers last year Jamie Diane Crooks, Nathan H. Judith Leora Murray, Michelle ' relief funds for the ecumenical Pledge." Faculty and staff have including individual students, or- DeForest, Kayla Sue Dubbink, Elena Nainys, Nancy Beth* agency of Church World Service. pledged a certain amount per Hope ganizations, faculty and staff. This Lisa Renea Edmiston, Karri Sue Naumann, Jill M. Flanagan^ Churches, groups and individuals walker through the Office of the year the Office of the Chaplain has Evers, Libbie J. Freed, Vicki Norvilitis, Kenneth Scott across denominational lines con- Chaplain. Students can also raise seta goal of300 walkers. Individuals Ly nne Freeman, Amy B. Geurink, Overway, Christina Lynn 4 tribute to CWS regularly because of more funds by gaining additional can sign up to walk at "Crop'' tables Yvonne Nicole Grassl, Marie Rutgers,JenniferSueRynbrandt,4 its fine reputation for serving on the sponsors. outside Phelps or in the Office of the Frances Houdek, Douglas K. cutting edge of world-wide emer- Recently, CWS has distributed Chaplain. Foley John Schuler, Kristen^ gency response and development more than $6 million in medicines, Hope students can help CWS to Kleinheksel;, Stephen Leonard Valera Siegel, John Andrew programs. medical supplies, blankets and food meet these ongoing human needs by Kline. Daniel J. Kozmiuk, Carol Skinner, Beverly K. Snyder, * In addition to distributing literally for the former Yugoslavia and more participating in this month's Crop Elizabeth Krafve, Joseph Andrew Kirsten Lee Stoesser, Barbara J. tons of rice, beans and other needed than $5 thousand was forwarded to Walk. The Walk will begin at 9 a.m. Kuiper, Gregory D. Laman, Gavin VandenBrink, Derek Voskuil, ^. food products such as agricultural the American Protestant Church in on Saturday, April 24 at the Holland Tak-Cheong Loo, Dawn Marie Mary B. Wahmhoff, Timothy ^ education (including irrigation, Moscow for the distribution of more High School Fieldhouse, 600 Van Luchies, Richard Alexander Theron Work. water well and pump systems), re- than 2,000 blankets to Somali refu- Raalte Ave.
2 The Anchor April 7,1993 CAMPUS BRIEFS Anchor receives two marks Air Jam sign-up
The Social Activities Committee is auditioning groups for Air Jam to be held April of distinction in ACP rating 16lh at the Holland Civic Center. Sign up ends April 7. Auditions will be held April 12. Ten acts will be chosen and by Julie Blair have the opportunity to win $175 in prizes. campus editor Questions? Contact Rolf Nelson. 392-6803 or the SAC office, x7882. The Anchor received a First Class Chaplain receives service award honor rating from the Associated Chaplain Gerard Van Heest received a community service award from the Michigan Collegiate Press for the paper's Campus Compact in East Lansing on Friday. April 2. journalistic work during the 1992 Van Heest was one of 15 individuals presented a "1992 Campus Compact Faculty/ fall semester, capturing two Marks Staff Community Service Learning Award." of Distinction in the areas of "cover- The awards recognize outstanding community service by faculty and staff of MCC- age and content" and "leadership". member institutions, and were presented during MCC's third annual conference. Sponsored by the National Scho- "Awakings: Exploring New Directions for Student Service." lastic Press Association, the bi-an- "There have been many, many ways over the years that Jerry has helped student nual newspaper competition rates groups and individual students make connections in the community so thai they could college publications of the same size be of service." said James Bekkering. vice president for admissions and student life. "I based on a criteria developed by am just delighted that Michigan Campus Compact has seen fit to recognize him." professors and professionals in the field. The papers are evaluated with Seminary construction continues judges completing comment sheets ^nc/ior photo by Rich Blair to be utilized as learning tools later Construction continues on the $3 million dollar Western Theological Seminary ANCHOR EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Scott Runyon ('93) at work by staff members. housing and repair project. Located on I4lh Street and College Avenue, the work is on one of the paper's two layout computers. anticipated to be completed before classes begin next September. Based on a point system, each The project, approved by the Holland Planning Commission last January, began publication can earn a total of 4,150 Even Runyon, after only two se- distribution early Wednesday breaking ground in March. Of the 28 brick townhouses being built to accommodate 150 points from each of the five catego- mesters as a student of journalism, morning. Seminary students and their families, the basement of one six-unit building has been ries: coverage and content, writing considers himself still a rookie. "This is the largest ongoing pro- completed and the floor beams begun. The base of another eight-unit complex on and editing, photography, art, and "It is difficult to orient a new duction an organization does on College Ave. is underway and a hole has been dug for a six-person townhouse on 14th graphics, layout and design and staff into The Anchor format," campus — we printed 13 issues last Street. leadership. Those earning First Class Runyon said. "They do an incred- semester, we'll have a total of 25 "Everything is going very well," said Business Manager Norman Donkersloot. "We captured between 3,000-4,150 ible job every week. The two Marks this year," Runyon said. . got excellent bids. We have not met any unexpected complications." points; Second Class 1,900 - 2,990; of Distinction we got were the most "This is a paper that knows what Third Class 0 - 1,890. Those papers important of the areas critiqued. If it's supposed to do," said advisor of superior quality with First Class you don't have leadership to run the Dennis Renner, assistant professor Schultz to speak at Hope ratings and four or five Marks of organization or good coverage, you of communication and print media Distinction were named All-Ameri- won't be able to serve the commu- specialist. 'They can take strong lambda Phi Eta, Hope College's honorary communication society, will be hosting can, the ultimate ranking in the fo- nity well," satisfaction in the breadth of stories speaker Quentin Schultz a Calvin College professor of communication science , rum of college journalism. Awarded a First Class rating and and coverage. They have great Tuesday, April 13 at 8 pjn. in the Otte Room. Though the scores panned out marks of distinction last spring, newsplay, punchy headlines and Schultz will be speaking on "Television and religion in America: the electronic city well, staff has yet to achieve All- Runyon attributes The Anchor's have handled tough issues very on a hill." American, something Editor-in- continued success to the staffs well." Excerpts from two of Schultz's books, Redeeming Television and Dancing In the Chief Scott Runyon attributes to a dedication. Behind the scenes, re- But it takes still more to be All- Dark, are featured in several of Hope's communication classes as required reading. fresh, inexperienced staff. Six of the porters, editors and production American. Renner emphasized a eight sectional editors climbed on people hustle every week to churn need to work on the writing compo- Williams serves as nuclear expert board to write and edit at the college out a journalistically solid issue. nents of the paper, polishing the Donald Williams professor of chemistry is serving as a third-party speaker on level for the first time. Many picked While reporters and editors spend writing into a tighter, more journal- nuclear energy issues for the U.S. Council for Energy Awareness after spending March up the journalistic style without ever late nights and weekends covering istic style and the need for more having taken Print Media classes, technical power in the areas of pho- 9 and 10 in Washington, D.C. events, production people stay the He conducted a four-day informational tour in Nevadalast month, and completed a while others traded reporting posi- red-eye shift, working all night similar visit to New Mexico in January and has also spoken in Detroit. tions for business related jobs. Tuesdays to complete the paper for see ANCHOR page 8 He is also on an Educational Outreach Committee for the U.S. Department of Energy's Office of Civilian Radioactive Waste Management in Washington, D.C, and during a 1988-89 sabbatical worked with the office's public information section. During the tours he works with or through the media, helping to educate and inform the public. Some speaking tours include presentations to service clubs, such as the Impressions Detroit Rotary Gub, and working with high school teachers and students. "I provide them with what's thought to be objective background data on nuclear issues." Williams said. "My real specialty is nuclear waste, but I'll address any nuclear Rob Harrison energy issue, and sometimes I find myself addressing energy issues in general." His presentations, including nine in a single day in Albuquerque, N.M., ranged from meetings with science writers to participating in televised discussion programs or radio I am, in general, not the sort of intellectual level unless we wish have any better answers? Perhaps. audience call-in shows. person who talks much about to hurt them further. It is one thing I think the solution goes back to a Williams noted that nuclear issues are particularly important in New Mexico and "grey areas," viewing the world to be certain that abortion is deep flaw in the modem way of Nevada at present, since New Mexico has been selected to receive the nation's nuclear instead as a dizzying pattern of wrong and to care passionately for thinking. We are accustomed to waste associated with the production of nuclear weapons and Nevada will probably host darkness and light. (The phrase the life of an unborn child—it is thinking of people as members of a federal repository for spent nuclear fuel. "black and white" really doesn't quite another to try to tell the groups. Hispanic, white, black. fit.) I believe in God and the child's mother. Indeed, it is Male, female. Straight, gay, Boyer featured as cancer expert Devil, good and evil, right and impossible unless we are willing lesbian. Protestant, Catholic, wrong—in absolutes. to meet that woman where she is. Muslim, Buddhist. It all flows Rodney F. Boyer, professor of chemistry, will appear on "Profiles in Survival," This does not mean that I think It is one of the oldest rules in the together. We figure out what which features cancer survivors and researchers. that the truth is easy to find. The book—indeed, Paul lays it down boxes people check off and then The program will air on WZZM, TV 13, of Grand Rapids next Monday, April 12, pattern on this tapestry of life is in I Corinthians 9—you have to we think we have them figured for from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. Other West Michigan residents will be included as well. difficult to see and too great for us meet people at the level of their life. It beats thinking. A biochemist, Boyer is studying ribozymes, which are a catalytic form of ribonucleic to comprehend, a fact that often needs. 'They won't care how If we are going to begin acid (RNA). Ribozymes can be created synthetically, and he hopes that someday makes it hard to decide what to much you know until they know providing real answers for this icientists will be able to design ribozymes that will be able to destroy cancer-causing do. how much you care." That sort of problem—or any other—we are vimses. I have heard several voices thing. going to have to abandon this In 1991, the American Cancer Society supported Boyer while he was on a sabbatical recently noting that abortion can I think part of the problem with modem view of the world and leave at the University of Colorado/Boulder working with Thomas R. Cech, a Nobel be one of those hard decisions. I the more rabid parts of the pro-life start dealing with the people we Prize-winning pioneer in the field. Boyer is now back on campus conducting RNA can't argue with that; decisions of movement is a problem they share see each day as individual people. research. life and death are not easy and with radicals everywhere, be they We can't stop anything by passing carry staggering consequences. Marxists, Nazis, the radicals on laws dealing with groups because Cox receives prestigious stipend That does not mean, however, that the other side of the abortion the people—the real people, the John Cox, professor of English, has been awarded a prestigious Summer Stipend there is not a right course to issue, or whomever. They all share ones who matter—will get lost in from the National Endowment for the Humanities. follow—it just means that finding a certain insensitivity to the the shuffle because no one cares. Cox is the second Hope faculty member to receive one of the awards. James Herrick, it through the emotional haze is a people they oppose because to Granted, if something is wrong, associate professor of communication, received one in 1992. difficult trick. them, their cause is more impor- we need laws against it, but didn't The NEH Summer Stipend is a highly competitive program for support of faculty For my part, I believe without tant. They care more about being think that's going to solve the research, and each college or university in the nation was eligible to nominate only three doubt in the sanctity of human right, about winning, than about problem because it won't. faculty members for the grants. Of the 1,439 applications from throughout the nation life. I believe it is a gift from God the poor wounded souls who they The only way to end abortion, submitted to the NEH, only 212 received awards. and not for us to throw away at are supposedly trying to help. It homelessness, drug abuse — or Cox, who is currently on a semester-long sabbatical, is studying the use of stage will. On an intellectual level then, takes a special kind of arrogance anything else—is one life at a devils as a means of social commentaiy by English dramatists through the mid-17th I have no problem with arguing and insensitivity to tell broken time. We have to be willing to put our lives on the line caring for century. against abortion in all but a few people what to do and then leave Cox, who is also director of the college's Interdisciplinary Studies program, has cases. So where's the problem? them there on the ground. That's those in need. Otherwise, nothing been a member of the Hope faculty since 1<>79. He is a 1967 HopeCollege graduate, and The problem is that we cannot why radicalism never works. we say or do really matters very holds a master's degree and a doctorate from the University of Chicago. deal with hurting people on an So what do 1 suggest? Do I much.
April 7,1993 The Anchor 3 Editorial Congress is worthwhile # Left off Center f ^fox the best Student Congress cabinet election there * needs to be a good mixture of highly qualified students on Sarabeth Robie the ballot running for the three cabinet positions. But this * will only happen if individuals first of all recognize the value in Congress at Hope, and second understand that they can bJ make a difference by running for office. By looking at the impact Congress has had on campus Exploring the issues: The Crying Game just this semester, one can easily see that Congress is a In the last issue of The Anchor, f significant body at Hope. Since January, they have been able Jordan's slight of hand is always in what I'm trying to say, it is Donald Mr. John Cox questioned my choice the service of his theme, an investi- Lyons, a critic for the magazine fz/w% to help students by responding to the concerns brought to the of The Crying Game (though I pre- gation of the mysteries of human Comment. The following paragraph ^ representatives. In addition they have worked to help the dicted that The Unforgiven would nature." is his, reprinted from the November/ student body through a number of proposals taken to the win the award) as the movie of the Secondly, I cannot understand December 1992 issue. * administration. These proposals are sure to be better year. I would like to defend my the reasoning behind the charge that "Jordan paints the IRA as human,"* choice. understood and appreciated more in the future as they take the film is anti-feminist. To me, but very frightening beings (even From what I understand, Mr. Cox effect. feminism means that both women heartless Jude has iconic glamor at* disagrees with this choice on three and men should be able to choose last and a femme fatale ferocity) and • They include; improved policies on parking and sexual different grounds. He found it to be, the roles that they play in this soci- is just as tough as the Brits, who be f harassment, a union desk and picnic tables outside DeWitt. "racist, blatantly anti-feminist, and ety. it noted, kill a key character. He The improvements made to student life by Congress are a mean-spirited caricature of the I found nothing degrading about does justice. No cartoons a la Patriot4 struggle for justice on the part of the certainly great. So Congress is significant at Hope, but what this film to women. I don't under- Games. And with his central trio, he # Catholic minority in Northem Ire- about those who could become part of the body's leadership. stand whether Cox disagrees with does more than justice; hecelebrates land." the image of a "manly" female, or 1 Who should they be? a loving humanity triumphant over I believe that the film is anything that of a "feminine" male. In either nationality and race and death and % There are likely to be 10,20,30 or more great presidents but racist. The most human of the case, those characters were fully other barriers. The totally uncliched t in the student body but some don't realize that they have the characters portrayed. Dill, is black, free to choose the roles that they delicacy, vulnerability and charm of potential and others may just not be sure if they should run while the least human, Jude, is white. played. Jaye Davidson's Dil make a won-f because they have not been involved in Congress before. Also, I feel that had the roles been I don't find the portrayal of the derful triangle apex." ^ reversed and the black characters IRA to be a "caricature." The direc- This is a shame because Congress should have the best I chose the movie, not because it had been turned into IRA killers, the tor of the movie was an Irish Prot- was trendy, or because it was scan-' people running to fill the cabinet whether or not they have violence portrayed would have been estant, but his wife is not only an dalous. Instead, I chose it because I • been involved with Congress before. found much more bigoted in nature. Irish Catholic, but was also an IRA felt that it not only addressed some Take Joe Miklosi ('92), the vice president of 1990-91, Most would agree that while hunger striker and convicted of car really important issues for people in r for example. He was one of the most active and enthusiastic black people are not either all good bombings 20 years ago (Time, J 25). today's society, but it didn't try to^ or all bad, that black characters cabinet members in recent years, but was elected to the If anyone is qualified to make a make these issues easy. After view- ^ should not be portrayed as stereo- balanced portrayal of the nuances in ing this film I found myself going cabinet his junior year without any previous experience on types, but as real full human beings. the Irish Protestant/Irish Catholic over sections of it, and dilemmas4 Congress. He was able to bring a fresh perspective to the Sharon Capel asked the ques- struggle it is Neil Jordon. He com- presented within it, again and again ^ body with an unprecedented debut. tion, "What relevance did interra- mented, "'Some people say to me. in my mind. He won the office by a landslide through a rigorous cial relations have to the storyline How can you make a film that's so I cannot help but think the issues% campaign. Many probably still remember how he persevered other than expediency?" My answer unsympathetic to the IRA?' And of sex roles, love, violence, death, • is, nothing. The last thing that this 4 through rain and shine to visit every dorm, cottage and then other people say to me How and the nature of being human, are movie is about is race. David Ansen can you make a film ihat's so sym- important in the world today, and f apanment on campus attempting to talk with every student. said "What's so satisfying about pathetic to the IRA?' And I say I'm that they should be explored by ev- • He was one concerned student who was able to make a these mind popping manuevers is guilty on both counts." eryone. huge difference at Hope because he was determined to work that they're never cheap tricks: If anyone captures the essence of hard for the betterment of the community. He started the Hope College Community Clean Up Day, began a number of proposals, redefined the description of vice president of Letters to the editor Congress and was determined to do what was right for Hope. The point is that you don't need to have prior experience to do an outstanding job as a cabinet member. There may not Answer offered for Chapel problem Dear editor, be another Joe Miklosi, but there is room for another who is many ways by the students on cam- and they that worship him must^ I saw something the other night dedicated, motivated and has a vision for what is good for pus. Let up the reigns a little bit. It's worship in spirit and in truth." • that made me see the answer to the what we all need, deep down. The Both must be present. If we fo- the Hope community. chapel question that I've only now way to meet the deep spiritual needs cused more on the Bible and on* found the words to address. It was a of students is to free them to explore worshipping Him exuberantly in* black gospel concert sponsored by these needs in a non-restrictive Spirit and truth the more we would Black Coalition. The significant worship environment. see a higher attendance rate at* point was that people were free to The Anchor staff I used to go to chapel, but I quit chapel—and perhaps some unex-^ worship how they pleased. going because many times I wanted pected spiritual awakening amongf EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Scott Runyon However, this is not true of the to raise my hands, "amen" the the students on campus. Every time CAMPUS EDITOR Julie Blair Hope College chapel services. Part minister or pray out loud, but the I go to church, I want to feel God4 FEATURES EDITOR Dirk Joldersma of the reason students are tumed off rigid atmosphere totally inhibited there. I know I'm not the only one^ NEWS EDITOR David Chamin by chapel is because this campus is any sort of emotional response to ARTS EDITOR Mellissa Endsley becoming much more diverse reli- what was being said or sung. I know Sincerely, ' SPORTS EDITOR Todd P. Jungling giously. I'm not the only one that feels this Danielle Phebus ('94) ^ PHOTO AND GRAPHICS EDITOR Rich Blair Church is a place to worship God. way. PRODUCTION EDITOR Libbie Freed However, "worship" is defined in John 4:24 says, "God is a Spirit COPY EDITOR Polly Schuler PAGE DESIGNER Jay Bromberek BUSINESS MANAGER Robin Ebright Goodbye Tim AD REPRESENTATIVE Tara Stollenmaier DISTRIBUTION MANAGER David Van Farowe Dear editor, or just about life and religion. I have gave us just enough freedom to en- # AD DESIGNER Amy Seibert "All things pass in time." As a not found too many people in this joy dorm life. Things must change," FACULTY ADVISOR Dennis Renner child, I did not believe in this state- world that fit the "all around great and they have. The kind of freedom ^ ment. I grew older and struggled guy" model, but my R.D. at Cosmo which once thrived, where R.D.s^ PHOTOGRAPHERS: Katherine Vlasica with why the world had to be that is one of them. made theirown judgement calls and way. CARTOONISTS: Doug Brown One thing he could do that I could ruled the dorm as they saw fit, is^ Now, things come and go in not understand was keeping the gone and has been now for a few • regular rhythms and I have learned Cosmo dorm in line. To people who STAFF REPORTERS: Susan Adkins, Deborah Davis, Scott Eppinga, semesters. And now my R.D. has to accept it. I still do not think one haven't lived there, the dorm may Kathleen Pent, Jenn Gavin, Rob Harrison, Rachel been terminated from his position.' should just let things pass away, but seem like the worst place to live, To this, I say: * Kaipanh ft^r. Drew Lumm, Brigid one should accept fate, leam from it, barring Kollen—but you are wrong. Tim, you gave the Hope College . • Mallo^J^m^ManS^Mtsble Mueller, Sarabeth and move on to other things. Once you get used to the occa- Student Development some of your tyia Vander Mark So too, Hope College is about to sional noise, Cosmo is a great place best years as R.D. of Cosmo. Now it" become one of those passing things The Anchor is crofS f&rt antffl&fVinded through the to live (or at least it was). You could is time to move on and let Hope. for me. I have learned a lot, met Hope College Stu ongress opriatio'ty$€$mmittee. Letters meet all kinds of people there— College deal with the vacuum it has many people, and have made a few to the editor are e itations, those of partiers who never studied, frat boys created. I'm just glad I was there' good friends here. It all started in 250 words or less ions addressed in of all different types, and people while you were in control. ^ Cosmopolitan Hall. the editorial are soJ^ty" HWKI . Stories from the who liked to study. It was a great And to Hope College Student The first person to make an im- Hope College News^e Public Relations mix and I think I have benefitted Development, I say: pression on me was my R.D. He Office. Subscriptions t iefor$18ayearor$10 from the exposure. GOOD LUCK! , always had his door open, ready to a semester. We reserve or reject any advertising. The R.D. kept all of us in line, but talk about politics, math homework. he made it a fun place to live. He Ken Overway ('93) 4 The Anchor April 7,1993 • • * * j jt V * Volume ,T, Number^ | Rope College, Holland, Michigan Exploiting the Rope Community for Longer than They can Remember Date? I haven't had a date in months Campus housing given away; students pissed cials have made official decisions to by Rot Funyon cials decided to decide those deci- anonimity explained, "We decisively Students were overheard speak- decide about campus issues (the ones editor in decay sions as soon as they could decide decided that the decision was fairly ing about the decision to comment that really needed to be decided). how to decide the decisions. simple and that it was in the best on the the decisive decision that was Following the recent events sur- Due to the fact that these deci- One campus Official who decided interest of the college to decide what decided by the college in order to rounding this campus this year, offi- sions often go undecided, the offi- to speak under conditions of we decided regarding the decision." see STORY page 5 Terrorist Frogs on campus, Council candidate Friday classes cancelled
by Ropin' da Wind manner. The thought of thousands supplies needed urinals of little frogs hopping around on green staff geek crutches is disturbing to me and The Ranchor learned yester- ought to disturb people every- by Frizzle Fry day that there will be no classes where. We will continue to push mutant starch product reporter on Friday due to the impending for U.N. sanctions on companies abduction of all fraternity mem- that trade in frog legs." For years, the residents of Mirthy bers, juniors, and science faculty She also referred to the labor hall have complained to the Student by a tribe of flying Irogs from the troubles in Brazil. "We don't think Council about the urinal situation. Amazon rainforest. we should be discriminated Complaints of urinal shortages have According to an anonymous against just because we're frogs. always been heard by the council, source, this abduction is intended It isn't right. Frogs can do many but no action has been taken to rem- as a protest against policies of the things better than humans, but we edy the problem. The ladies of Brazilian government. never get the chance. The only Kawlen hall however have more "These frogs are upset," said frog who's ever been treated fairly urinals than they need, and have professor of cosmotology was Kermit." offered to donate them. "We have Milosozvzantirac She then went on to say ."That s no use for them, and they are very Kriazsbozcenczxka of Warsaw why we are going to kidnap your disgusting," resident Julie University's Department of Time people. We need the scientists to Kavendish ('99) complained. "Al- Travel, who spoke with us from help us develop technologically, though many women have tried six years in the future on the so that we can compete in modem decorating them, they're still ugly. condition that he remain anony- society after we secede from It's like decorating a flyswatter." mous. 'They are upset that the Brazil. We need the fratemity Mark Coaster ('111), proving he government of Brazil refuses to brothers to teach us culture, as we is indeed a candidate of action has pay them a decent wage. They haven't developed one yet. And decided to take matters into his own feel that human workers receive we are grabbing the juniors to hands. Literally. Armed with his better pay simply because they make life easier for the fresh- determination and a toolbox, Mark are able to use tools. It's dis- men—we have sympathy for the Coaster removed one of the urinals crimination, plain and simple." oppressed everywhere." from the women's wing of Kawlen. The frogs are scheduled to Upon being told that the "It is definitely a problem, and I feel visit the campus Thursday after- Chairfrog had denied the abduc- I can be part of the solution," said noon. Their visit was scheduled tion, the Special Secretary stuck the eager candidate. "I want to be a several months ago as part of a her tongue out at us. Fortunately, candidate who is not afraid to take tour of American universties. she was distracted when it became matters into his own hands and get This tour has two purposes: first, tangled in a stack of folding chairs, results." HARD WORK: Mark Coaster removes unneeded to examine the adaptability of allowing us to escape. Administration questions the unrlnals from the women's wing of Kawlen Hall. fission technology to tree- The administration is generally strong-arm tactics of this urinal "It will be interesting to see the ises. "I'm fulfilling the urinal climbing, and second, to study supportive of the frogs' planned Robin Hood. "I'm just afraid he results." promise; what else do you need?" new developments in genetics to abduction. They have even can- might promise more than he can Coaster however felt he is quite Elections for StudentCouncil are enable the frogs to grow better celed classes this Friday in a show deliver" said Dean Richard Snow. capable of carrying out his prom- April 19th. flies. of support. According to one ad- "The brands we have just ministration official who we can't A story aren't enough any more," com- name because he doesn't have Although no official information firmed by any of the three parties mented the expedition's one, "We feel that this is very by some reporter who didn't want has been released, there are uncon- most likely to be involved. chairfrog. "They worked before important for the frogs' self-ac- to admit to writing a story about Darwin came along, but since we firmed reports that Calvin will be Surely, the John Calvin whirl- tualization, that if a plan such as John Calvin discovered evolution—well, it's this on which they are staking so performing with either Madonna or wind will stop for a momentous hard trying to feed a seven-foot- much were to fail then it might Ozzy Ozboume. concert here at Rope. The close tall sentient frog on flies." When severely traumatize their lack of John Calvin, regionally ac- Calvin responded to questioning links between Rope College and we asked Hizzoner the chairfrog self-esteem, a trauma which could claimedevangelist, may have finally on the subject with ambiguity. Calvin are well-documented, and it about the planned abduction, he have serious negative conse- hit the big time. "Well, I have always been a great would seem to reasonable to assume strenuously denied it. "What quences leading to a desperate He recently announced that an fan of Madonna, especially after her that they would continue. would we want humans for? We feeling of desparatidn which could agreement has been concluded with 'LikeaPrayer' masterpiece. It would Calvin said, "I would love to do can't grow flies on them." in turn bring feelings of alienation a major star, for whom Calvin will be a dream come true to tour with a concert in Holland. I have asked We then asked the Special and dehumanization, which could perform as the opening act. such a figure," he said. "Then again, the superstar I will be opening for to Secretary to the Chairfrog about prompt negative acts of terrorism Calvin began his career at a little- I can't deny that Ozzy Ozboume consider a concert for Rope's an- her people's political aspirations. such as maybe next time they'd known, rather disreputable institu- and his music has always held a very nual May Day bash. I know that it is She mentioned several. The first try to kidnap administrators in- tion in Grand Rapids, but his esca- special place in my heart. I love sometimes called 'Spring Fest,' but is the continuing world trade in stead." lating fame and performing skills what I hear about the good-times his I have always loved May Day. So frog legs. "We cannot allow our It is not known whether the have gained him an ardent follow- concerts are supposed to be." yes, I think it would be probable that little green brothers and sisters to frogs will return their prisoners ing in the West Michigan area. This However, The Ranchor would I will be at Rope sometime in the continue to be exploited in this for classes to resume on Monday. rapid rise to greatness is reflected in like to emphasize again that no of- near future." the newly signed contract. ficial information has been con- AAA nnn Lettuce for the betterer * Rhetorical JCheese still served in Phillups » yL Dear Editor: these unsatisfactory conditions. The distance of 15 feet around the plact A Call to Modesty yL What is it with all the cheese food service needs to be account- where the cheese soup is » * served in Phillups Cafeteria! Despite able for the provision of food that is Since 1 am so very appa ed at jR ope College needs to be more modest. ^ hard proof that cheese is high in fat healthy, meeting certain codes of this situation, I am starting a petition Many great, noble, rich, famous and prestigious people (a 4 ^ and has been known to cause cancer r good taste and edibility. to rid the cafetena of cheese. Pleas^ number of whom I have had the privilege to meet, and may I say Jf Jin laboratory animals, the Rope Besides, who really likes cheese consider signing up during lunch I have quite a collection of autographs) have visited this T College food service continues to or its smell. 1 find the scent simply and dinner on Friday and Saturday 4 institution and we continue to brag about having these lofty jT serve it in a couple of dishes every offensive! It literally grosses me out this week outside Phillups. • connections. This needs to stop (when it is applicable). ? week. They still serve cheese broc- every time I crack the cafeteriadoors. t * As a good and just society here at Rope we ought to see to Jcoli soup on Mondays and veal It is evident that others experience A cheese hater. this as well since there is a track Melba Dipper ( 98) 4 it thatwe don't considerourselves more highlythanwedeserve parmesan on Thursdays. 4 to be (though for some of us who have cause for bragging we We should no longer put up with worn into the floor tiles a consistent 4 can allow a little more flexibility to this rule of thumb). 4 For instance, take the recent visit to Rope by the honorable ^Tulips, the "Flower of Life" >f Madonna. She was on campus to sing and give lectures and what town could grow more tulips make the changes I would appreci- 4 seminars about healthy relationships and general moral living. Dear Editor: than Holland, the perfect climate ate for any concerned individual tf) During her time here and afterward many were heard gauding A recent research study by the if National Enquiring Mind Study and location for this flower of life. do the same.) > * over the fact that "She spoke to me directly to answer my Team has proved that each mature We have the opportunity of a life- 1. The county should lift the tulip question!" or "Some sweat off her bra touched my arm when eating regulation, so that countle^ she swung her head in concert!" (But, she showed genuine tulip has a high enough nutritional time here! • This brings me to the point. Rope foodless people could pick road^ )f affection to me. I actually shook her hand and she said "Hello value to satisfy the requirements for College is simply surrounded by side tulips and live, and, ^ Rot" after seeing my name tag.) jf- a balanced meal including all four * tulips, although it is still a county 2. Rope's Department of Botany * It was just disgusting how students, male and female alike, food groups. Essentially, this study showed how people can survive on offense, punishable by a $7 thou- should develop a greenhouse largfe Jf looked and acted as if she were a god. sand and four to six years in a state enough to grow 50,000 tulips at^ We are simply too prideful of the people we have met. tulips if they are eaten during the Jf penitentiary to pick one a tulip with time, the estimated amount to sup- Somehow we need to understand they are only people like us. j^peak of their ripeness. The only intention to eat. If this regulation port a community the size of Rop^ This is a situation that needs to be addressed within the whole yL hardship is that tulips have a short * yi "ripe" season. were lifted just think of the thou- year around. f 4 community. sands of staving people who could Or take the time when Arnold Schwartzenegger visited the T But, if they could be grown in 3f be fed. Thanks for lending me your ears/ Physical Education Building for the new racquetball court ^ large greenhouses through the win- )f I want to make two recommen- Twolipp Eater "• dedication. Students and professors haven't stopped talking ^ ter and off-season just think of how dations here. (1 have already sent about howthey ate lunch withthe man. (I saw him comb his hair J tulips could save lives—a whole letters to the appropriate people to in the bathroom. Bet you didn't know that he combs with his left square meal in each flower! And * * hand even though he is right handed.) This is ridiculous. We can't put up with this kind of behavior jToo many periods!!!! any longer (unless it's justified, like in my case, of course). 4 Ranchor would consider cutting Rope College needs to shape up or ship out! J Dear Editor: tiny spheres of wonder will have * The Ranchor uses entirely too completely lost all meaning and we back its period use to one per stoi^ to preserve the English language^ Jf Signed with pride, J many periods—when one will do, will not understand their deep pur- Jf ^ readers find from 20 to 25 in each pose signifying finality—inevitably most precious notation, Rot Funyon • * story—why have you so grossly every story, even every sentence, * ••••••**••**•************ ^overused this magnificent punctua- would end before it was begun—1 Concerned, • lion—the next thing we know these would be ever greatful if The Peer Iod('76)
ft The Solemn Column 4 Stuff Itinyorr Eare 4
This week's column was origi- Perhaps my recent marriage is peace. Zf • • • nally intended to be a lengthy, con- responsible for this newfound con- Since I have found complefcc troversial treatise concerning the tentment. Yes, it's true-I have at last happiness here, I am an xious to share presidential role in the selection and found happiness with a most won- it with all of my loyal readers. 1 design of campaign bumper stickers. derful young man. his name is encourage anyone and everyone ft) The Ranchor gaffers As I sat down to write, however, I David, and I am writing this column come out for a visit; we have got^a was struck with the sudden realiza- at my new home in Waco. He has sort of "escort service" which will EDITOR-IN-DECAY Rot Funyon tion that it really didn't matter-that, really shown me how to find con- meet you and bring you into tlfe STAFF MALLRAT Ima Strezzd in fact, nothing bothers me. I have tentment in this troubled world of compound very late at night, at your FEET BETTOR Dork Jolt-is-more come to the unexpected, thrilling ours, and even though I find these own risk. 1 know it's dark then, but SNOOZE BETTOR Prince Charming conclusion that, at last, all is right weapons and FBI agents rather trust me, it's beautiful. DARTS BETTOR Spewing Endlessly with the world. alarming I am optimistic and at SNORT BETTOR Floyd the Juggler ALL-TOO-GRAPHIC BETTOR Victor Willis PRODUCE BETTOR Leafy Tweed COPY BETTER Polly Wolly Doodle 9% SCATOLOGICAL KICKER Mr. Gentle Sehks E. Wayze Evidential Bodies got me "all shook up BUSYWORK MAGE Red Riding Hood HIPPIE GURU Penelope Steelitmoore plumpend up with some fried pea- you know that "someone" stayed at DESTRUCTION MAGE David Van Goliath by Pelvis Pretzely nut butter and banana sandwiches the Hawaiian Village hotel in room FAD SETTER Heyme Starburst, Age 18. Libra guest rider and then taken down south to some 14A while promoting Jailhouse IRISH SETTER Rover big white house with a safari room Rock in 1957? ^ FACILITY VISOR Tennis Runner Hey babies, just got finished where she can leam how to behave All in all, I feel that this movie PIZZA PROVIDER Barry "Soiled Cow" Press watchin' that new Mathilde film. like a real southern woman. just needed a few song and dantfe Evidential Bodies. * I did think that it was awful sad to numbers to make it good. I'm sure FRODO GAFFICA: Twitch Bear, Heesgot Bunions I really admire musicians who find out that Mathilde killed those I heard somewhere that Mathilde make films, because as you know old men with bad hearts with drugs, can shake her pelvis. Aside from STAFF GEEKS: Comman Doe, Waykemeup B. Fore U. Do Do, movies like my Heartbreak Hotel, I mean they weren't even famous that, I found the .. . acting enter- - Doe A. Deej^J^po^Bambi, John Doe, Jimmy and Jailhouse Rock must be mas- enough to get their very own taining. Doe, Doe, Joshua Elijah terpieces. I know that they are collector's cards. How else would Pretzel Rating: Dre. Pelvis masterpieces because I got myself two of them there plates from the Pelvis Rating System Bradford Exchange (complete with certificates of authenticity and ev- The Ranchor isjfififbyprodu^ff student itt^tja. Its operational * This movie is nothing if it isn't four stars erything) that had their pictures of budget is achieve^ pooling tq|Sher staff battle refunds. Letters to me, uh someone, on them. Yeah, ** This movie is nothing if it isn't four stars the editor are rea^ ald^d in thf r^wsroom^r fhe amusement of * and you should see how much those staffmembers, and iietfrba Dartboard. The *** This movie is nothing if it isn't four stars plates can be worth. opinions espoused bumper stickers Mathilde has a dam good set of. +*** This movie is better than walking 'someone's' dogs spotted around Rope'^^^^J^^Vsijpigiidns to the Ranchor are .. acting skills, yeah acting skills, named Brutus and Snoopy available: send $2,750.55 to Zurichshaven Bannke, that y'all can see in this movie. I account #30167HS, Zurich, Switzerland. ***** This movie is nothing if it isn't four stars myself feel that she ought to be
.467 The Ranchor Wanna date? Don't Even Think About Reading This Page!
He's Back!
' A MATCH MADE IN IDAHO. • Spud heads Bertha P. Otato > and Henry Potatohead will
4 tie the knot after classes end for this semester. The ' two are anxious to begin ' their lives together and ' start a large family of little < Potatoheads In Idaho. Two spuds meet
happened. What followed was a by Leafy Tweed melted inside and I knew that we were destined to fall in love." whirlwind romance which began produce bettor Henry PotatoheadfGi + 1), how- with their spring break trip to Idaho. Love is a funny thing and it can ever, did not have such romantic Then it happened. Henry asked Ber- Photo stolen from the Polka-Dot lab be found in funny places. A few ideas at first. tha to marry him and she accepted. 44 BAM! In one quick Instant J. Smashem demontrates months ago it would have been hard "I had no idea that Bertha was Just think. Soon I will be Bertha the efficacy of Dr. Polka-Dot's laser. to convince Bertha P. Otato^i) looking at me. I was thinking hard Otato-Potatohead," Bertha said. that she would find her true love about my introductory counting The couple have been embroiled here at Rope College. homework," he said. in their wedding plans. They have Despite Henry's apparent insen- been busily telling everyone at length New Laser on Target "1 only came to Rope to gel away 44 sitivity, he soon noticed Bertha. about the plans for the wedding. 1 was working in the lab with J. from those nasty people trying to by The Unknown Reporter "I was staring at the aftermath of Fortunately, this reporter was able Smashem ('9%), one of my research put plastic things on my face. 1 didn' l reporter on the loose 4 students, when I thought just for think I'd find romance/' Bertha said. that tremendous collision in Phillups to escape their snare by screaming 44 fun, why don't we try this on a But, indeed she did. Bertha turns when my hand suddenly felt some- Hey, look is that a cook with a The problem with the learning student'," Polka-Dot said. a shade of beet red when describing thing rough and dimpled. It was potato masher behind you?" process is that sometimes students To his delight and surprise, his her first encounter with her true love. Bertha's hand. My eyes met hers The couple plan to marry after lack the motivation to really study. initial test, on a research student "I was eating dinner with my and something magic happened," school ends, honeymoon in Idaho, Dr. William Polka-Dot here at Rope who was doing a bit poorly, served roommates in Phillups when my eyes he said. move to Idaho and raise a family of College has developed a tool to in- to increase the productivity of his met his from across the room. I Something magic must have spuds... er children. crease the motivation of students. remaining research students. 44 It [the instrument] was actually 441 knew I was onto something," developed as a faster way to pop he said. popcorn. I was sick and tired of Polka-Dot was immediately in- making microwave popcorn only to undated with requests for copies of find that it was a charred mess. I his apparatus. Instead, he sought to experimented with laser systems refine the instrument to increase his because I wanted to get the most bang to buck ratio. The final result is bang for my buck," said Polka-Dot. a laser system that can vaporize a Affectionately known as that student in under one second as op- homicidal maniac in the posed to the lengthy 30 seconds of Vanvansomething building, Polka- his prototype. Dot has built a reputation as an in- "It's great fun," said J. Smashem, novator in the field of spamometry, one of Polka-Dot's research stu- THIS HEAD was found on the study of spam in highly excited dents. the steps of the Deplete states. His experiments in motiva- Curiously, the only comment that tional apparatus began quite by ac- Center. If It's yours please could be gotten from an actual test cident. subject was 44zzzzt." contact The Ranchor oti\ce as soon as possible.
This is "white space' White space is your friend Look in The Ranchot for more white space See if you can I TOLD you not to read spot the white space in previous Ranchor issues this page!
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4 REALLY PERSONAL Treachery in CLUSTER RATS WANTED: All SWF Skydiving instructer ISO Strong Male ISO Weak Female who available men apply. Positions SWM who wears (MANY) gold will be quiet during church services, available in clusters 1-4-•-3-3. Many chains. Must be 6*4 with fast car, call Paul. Phillups cafeteria activities offered. good taste, nice eyes. Call x 0232. ger, which, cosmetogists said, may Ask for Skye. by Ima Strezzd 6*3 blonde male with dark sensual staff mall rat prevent her from competing for the 64th Annual Miss Tulip Time SINGLE WHITE FEMALE: need tan ISO SWF who is loving, kind, Allegations were brought against pagant next month. roommate for May/June term. Non- SWF red head hyper spaz ISO SWM big hearted, and in great shape to Rope College Tuesday afternoon Falls said she won't take the ac smoker. Nymphomanic. Paranoid. with Facial Hair. Bald Swimmers stay at my fully fumshed flat to after a collision on the steps between cident lying down. A pre-flaw ma Room with a view. $115/mo. call need not apply. Call Daph. x0549, water my cactus. Call Scooter x0283 the upper and lower levelsof Phillups jor here at Hope, Falls said she will x666 after 6 p.m. Ask for Hedy. after 8 p.m. Cafeteria during the 11 a.m. rush press charges against the College hour left three Hope students injured for negligence and discrimination. SWMessiah ISO females, many and uncovered a scandal that could "I was victimized by a system Blonde SWF ISO tall dark SWM in SWM ISO SWF preferably a lover females! Must be dedicated, subser- rock the college's heavily endowed that doesn't care about the safety ol Plaid for extended fling. Must bring of Dentistry. Call Trevor x0645 vient, and willing to live on canned sports program. all their students," Falls said. 4tHac roses,champagne. Call x0192. Ask goods and stale well water. Some Vision obstructed by her tray, the steps been a different size or at for Tootsie. danger involved; none interested Bitsy Falls ('008) slipped on the wet HAIRY SWM ISO SWF who is least dry, I might have made it down turned away! Call (713) THE- staircase while descending to the them to eat my turkey tettrazini." very domesticated and wishes to DAVE. lower level, somersaulting violently Architects said she can build a SWF ISO SWM guitar strummimg give her life to bearing dozens of 4 into an oncoming Ben Tripd ( 007). case. The steps in Phillups Cafeteria stud. Call x0857 before 11p.m. children. An enjoyment of chop- Legs shooting out from under him, are indeed a hazard, said E.O.W. ping wood and making your own SWMiddle-aged Stepfather ISO Tripd's body lunged over Falls. His Strong of Cool Angle Architects utensils would be helpful. Call ALL WORTHY SWM ISO SWFs foxy stepdaughter to accompany him airborne tray dog-legged to the right, Ltd. Harold x0647 slicing through the fern plantings on have been retained by the females to sporting events and movies. Love "Phillups Cafeteria steps are for negative publicity helpful. Call top the brick division and slamming created specifically for those with on the Ranchor staff for personal 4 into Christopher ''Bull" Zie ( 006), longer strides," Strong said after use. Wooly, x0868. Don't forget to floss daily. dining nearby. examining the site. 'There is a high The tray's force caused the grape probability that someone with a Zie had been about to swallow to medium gait could trip descending Urinal theft stuns Rope campus catch in his throat, obstructing the or ascending. With a wet surface, airway in his trachea. Recognizing that slip could be fatal." by Terry Vanderveen STUDENT the international position for chok- Inside sources, who spoke on the guest rider COUNCIL ing, Zie's girlfriend performed the condition ofanonimity, reported the FRONTRUNNER Heimelich maneuver, successfully steps were created to facilitate the A urinal was reported m issing on dislodging the object. needs ol Hope's basketball players, the second floor of the men's wing Mark Coastal Minutes later. Public Safety ar- men with an average stride of eight of Kawlen hall. displays his rived on the scene and look Tripd, feet, and a group that helps bring in 'It's an outrage," said Ray Beat- disapproval of suffering a concussion, by Express over S2 million annually to the nik, directorof Public Water Safety, the recent Raid Van to the Health Clinic for college in the way of ticket sales and "I cannot believe that someone urinal theft. observation. Friends drove Falls to donations. would do this. It's unlike anything "What a dirty, Memories Hospital where cosme- Rope officials declined to com- we have ever had happen. The per- tologists labored in the E.R. until ment. son who is responsible for this is in rotten thing to midnight to repair the two broken The court hearing is scheduled some serious trouble up to and in- do! No effort nails on the left index and forefin- for Julv 4, 1993. cluding expulsion. We're very up- will be spared set by this, and wc hope to have this to discover the incident resolved quickly." Pine Grove threatened by At around 11 a.m., witnesses say lowly lhey heard pounding coming from perpretators of giant hairy fire termites (he bathroom. "1 thought it was this nasty maintenance fixing (he sink" said story of Maria and the orange deed," by Dork Joltismore Thomas Turclli. "I can't believe plaid parakeet wanabe, George. commented king of the run-on sentence, someone took a whole urinal from Maria was a sweet young lass, master of the ubiquitous, lord of the bathroom, it's very depressing." Coastal. and my first true love, if by love lunacy, duke of dizziness, sultan Darrel Van Darrel could recall you mean overwhelming urge to of large words. Friend of Bill (and nothing unusual about his visit to Ranchor frodo by dip someone in blue finger paint, of Patsy, Eunice, and Jerry), the bathroom. "I could only hear Twitchy Bear roll them accross a large canvas, Student Of All Things, czar of some grunts, nothing unusual for and title your work "Lime czilliness, ruler of the middle Kawlen Hall. I didn't even notice Elephants on a field of Chartruse," ternity foul play run rampant. Oth- Anyone with any information is realms, heir to the great Hartford the urinal gone when I left." John which I'm sure is exactly what you ers claim it was aliens. Still others asked to call the Rope College Pub- paperclip empire, roadhog,-and Ten Pinson was shocked when he mean. Yeah, well we had a sweet believe it is part of a terrorist action. lic Water Safety department at presidential candidate 2026. found himself without his favorite an innocent love before the days One person believes he saw Elvis x0777. "We are only interested in (EDITOR'S NOTE: Dork has urinal. "I realized loo late." of George. carry the urinal outside of fhe build- having the urinal relumed as soon as asked to provide some further Reasons abound for the mysteri- Maria met George at the conven- ing on his head. None of these ru- possible to prevent any further dis- background information in this ous disappearance. Rumors of fra- tion of incurable disco maniacs for mors are confirmed. comfort to the residents." by-line about himself in order to the preservation of cocktail help readers better understand his weenies as an expression of position here on the Ranchor.) artistic taste. It was at this point I was born, as you have all been Layout lament that she found herself unable to Hey Wachadoin? yearning to ask me, in a simple resist the compelling urge to dress Its five in the morning and I log cabin on the far eastern Continued from page 3 as a cocktail weenie. The folks at haven't slept a wink. The paper is far reaches of outer bulgaria in a time Van Camp got a wiff of the news from finished, but I can't stop to when men were men, boys were that a giant cocktail weenie was blink. boys, field mice were field mice, running down the streets of One last thing to fix, one last and children walked nine miles to Eastern Outer Bulgaria, and change to make. Will it end or is this school in blinding snow. unable to resist the promise of a a nightmare from which I will never I know that by this time you are larger than life weenie, promptly wake? surely asking yourself what a turned my love into a dozen cans I'm on my last gulp of Mountain Dork like me is doing in a school Dew. I lost count at forty-two. The like this. Well, in order to placate strangest things are funny, I feel like you I feel as if I must tell you the See TERMITES page 0.4 I'm running through honey. At each pause, I close my eyes, just a little bit. With a start I open Sayings found on the floor at 5 a.m. them. Has it been an hour or just a minute? May you never... My brain feels like it has been dropped from a great height. I left 1) pick up the phone and hear" Hi, this is God, but I think I have the my sanity back around midnight. wrong number." The clock ticks away its dire 2. eat anything with a shelf life longer than your years on this planet. warning. Time is running out and its 3. lose both contact lenses in a Hall of Mirrors. - already morning. 4. yawn in a room full of fruit flies. Oh, what can I do? These are the night I rue. 5. wake up at one a.m. and realize that your life so far has been little more Written for the layout staff and than a shallow, banal existence of wandering mindlessly in a lem- editors who find their Tuesday nights ming-like stupor, meaningless and empty, and besides you have no clean socks left. kswDoeus anyonuiijwmeu i^avreadi theseu iuou ?: completely tied up ( And even Does her smile scare you? Well It should, because who Wednesday mornings). knows what Is going through her mind. You know who you are.
Aphid Tools Day + 6,19993 The Ranchor 4x3=12 A&E Gospel festival encourages As I Was Saying Mellissa Endsley much audience participation
by Mellissa Endsley arts & entertainment editor A simple act of friendship You really can leam a lot from There is nothing better than pair of roller skates would. They young children. For instance, last watching performers that truly enjoy are just two seven-year-old girls week while I was jogging over what they are doing, performers who who understand that part of be- near 18th Street, I learned a les- look as if there is nothing else that ing a friend is sharing, a lesson son about friendship from two they would rather do, no place that that takes some people an entire they would rather be than sharing little girls, both of whom were lifetime to leam. about seven years old. I saw the their message with an audience. This These girls understand that taller girl first as she came wob- part of being a friend is looking is what the audience experienced bling up the street. I could not tell last Tuesday night at the gospel fest silly together, so neither person why she was moving in such an in Dimnent Chapel. has to feel as if they are looking unstable fashion until I ran a little Right at the start of the worship silly alone. They understand that closer. service sponsored by the Black part of being a friend is helping Turns out that she was wob- Coalition, led by the Alabama State each other keep your balance. bling because she had on one They understand that part of be- University Choral group called roller skate and one tennis shoe. Voices of Praise, two of the choir ing a friend is holding hands to My first thought was something members announced, "We are not ^nc/Tor photo by Jay Bromberek make sure that neither one of along the lines of "Hmmm, this here as performers, we arc here to ALABAMA STATE UNIVERSITY CHOIR celebrated God you falls down. kid must not exactly be the sharp- It seems to me that with all of worship the Lord with you all." In a spirited worship service last Tuesday. est pencil in the pack if she's The singers also stressed audi- the lousy things that people do to trying to do the skating thing with each other sometimes, and with ence participation in the forms of The 50 members in Voices of which was a real attention-getter. only one skate." all of the back-stabbing and gos- clapping, dancing and even singing Praise are currently touring the Then they did an outstanding ar- But the closer 1 got to her the sip that goes on between so- along. The announcer acknowledged United States in hopes of spreading rangement of "Swing Low, Sweet more I noticed that she wasn't called "friends" in our world the fact that this type of worship Christ's message through song. They Chariot." This classic piece brought really struggling. Instead she was today, one can really learn may not have been familiar to most told the Hope College crowd that out many voices from the crowd. giggling and making the best out something from these two girls. of the audience but he encouraged they were especially pleased to see Also getting big audience re- of her situation by pushing her True friends are people who them to take part anyway. that there were such a wide variety sponse were the songs "When wheeled foot along with the ten- take care of each other without Hope students enjoyed this spirit- of people in attendance. It fit in with Praises Go Up Blessings Come nis-shoed foot kind of like a hu- asking for reward. They look out filled form of worship of blues and their theme of "all those who hath Down" and 'The Lord's Prayer" as man scooter. for each other's best interests gospels. breath shall praise the Lord." it was performed by a selected "Whoa, hi!" she said to me as without feeling threatened by the "1 really had a great time," said Musical highlights from the show women's group. she tried to catch her balance other person's successes. Friends Betsy Cathy ('96). "The whole included their electrifying opening Those who stayed for the entire after almost crashing into the are the ones that dig you no mat- crowd was really into it so every- piece, "Yes, I'm a Believer." The show left with red hands from curb. And then, just as I went to ter how goofy you look or sound body felt comfortable letting a little group entered the chapel during this clapping and a renewed faith in the ask her where her other skate or act sometimes. They are the loose." song with a rhythmic clapping dance Lord from these beautiful songs. was, I saw another little girl up ones who accept you for who the street. you are and who you want to She too was wobbling. She become. Friends are the people Hambly's newest well worth reading too was wearing only one roller who really want you to be happy; skate and a single tennis shoe. the ones who do not mind going by R.G. Blair BOOK REVIEW "C'mon!" the first girl called out of their way to make sure you book reviewer back to her friend. And the sec- are OK. Antryg in and retrained him with power and forced to serve the coun- ond girl caught up and grabbed Real friends would rather Dog Wizard kindness after Suraklin's "death." cil of wizards' needs. It seems that a onto the girl's hand. That was it. share their only pair of roller Barbara Hambly Antryg was forced to strangle the Gate is stuck open somewhere in the Away they wobbled as any skates than leave each other be- Del Rey books Salteris/Suraklin. This created an citadel of wizards. The Gate is caus- two friends who only had one hind. $4.99 enmity between himself and the ing the fabric of reality to rend all council of wizards. He was sen- around the citadel. A few years ago Barbara Hambly tenced to death, but It is Antryg's job Unconventional play created a duology dealing with earth escaped it through the to figure out where and other realities. The two books. help of an alien from the Gate is and shut sparks cast members ideas The Silent Tower and The Silicon another reality. it. However, his ac- the audience will have a better un- by Mellissa Endsley Mage, were almost fantasy-detective A key point to this tion is hampered by derstanding of his full character be- the mistrust of the novels. The series ended with what series is the existence arts & entertainment editor cause they will sense the presence of seemed a very final ending. But, of Gales. These Gates mages on the council Practices for the theatre his other sides." nothing is final and Barbara Hambly open up to link paral- and the fad that some department's upcoming production This distinctive form of acting proves this by writing a third book, lel worlds. This is how mage wants the Gate of Hamlet have indeed proven to be has triggered a lot of input from the Dog Wizard, in what is now called Antryg meets Joanna, to remain open. What as the full title suggests: "an explo- performers and has even led to quite the Windrose Chronicles. a computer program- follows is an intricate ration." Full of creativity and direc- a bit of self-direction during prac- Hambly brings more of the de- mer from our world. tale of mystery that tion from both designated director tices. Because it is an "exploration" tective novel feel to this book. The Joanna helps Antryg quickly envelopes the John Tammi, professor of theatre, Tammi has been very open to new defeat Suraklin and reader. entire premise of the book is one big and the ensemble of participants ideas. mystery. The hero of the novel is they both return to our The novel begins Hamlet: An Exploration is sure to be "My whole idea of this produc- world. with a depressing feel Antryg Windrose, a man with much an unconventional show full of vi- tion was to give the cast authority," guilt. Antryg is an adept mage, but Antryg escapes, to it. This depression tality and freshness. Tammi said, "and the best way to do but the council of wizards still seeks becomes a cloud over the whole as a boy he was apprenticed to the The show is an exploration into that is to let their input and their to find Antryg and punish him. This book. However, this does not serve evil mage, Suraklin. the in-depth characters in ideas shape the show." The first two books deal with sets the stage for the third book. In to dampen the story which is strong Shakespeare's work. To illuminate "It's been really exciting," said Antryg's struggle to defeat the evil the third book, we find Antryg liv- . and interesting. Although, an obser- all of the different sides of the performer Kari Liljehom ('96),"be- mage's plan to transfer his personal- ing in L.A, with Joanna, as a bar- vant reader may be able to predict multidimensional characters in cause we will be going along with a ity into a computer and drain the tender. He is alive, but not quite some of the outcomes of the myster- Hamlet, there will be multiple ac- scene and someone will say 'hey, I magical energy of his world to power happy. He is stripped of his magic ies the story still remains entertain- tors playing the main characters. have an idea' and then we will try it the computer. However, Suraklin because magic does not operate in ing. By having multiple actors portray that way." was thought dead. He survived by our universe and he is plagued by The book is well worth reading. the characters, the performers are So, even though the show is less taking over the bodies of other dreams of guilt. Although it may be helpful to read hoping to give the audience an om- than two weeks from opening, the people. He had created a network of The action picks up when Joanna the first two books, it is not neces- nipresent feeling of involvement in cast agrees that they still are not bodies that he could inhabit. One of disappears and Antryg is forced to sary. The story leaves the reader the trials and tribulations of the entirely sure of all of the details of these was the body of Salteris. go back to his own world to find her. eagerly anticipating the next book characters. They will do this by the show. When he arrives he is stripped of his that the end implies. Salteris was the mage who took having the different actors perform "We have made a lot of changes the same sense from all different and we are continuing to make even points of view. more. We are all as excited as the For example,the famous solilo- audience to see how it all turns out," quies from the original production Cox said. Check it out in DePree of Hamlet will be performed by all The show will open on April 15 A culmination of four years 10toMay9. demic papers by graduating four of the actors who are portraying and will run through April 23. Tick- of artistic and creative experi- The graduating senior art ma- art history majors will also be the different sides of Hamlet. "We ets are available at the ticket office ence will be displayed in the jors will exhibit work in on display and will be presented have broken down the character of for $5 for the public and $4 for DePree Art Center from April "Braddock & Company." Aca- throughout the month. Hamlet into four different aspects/' students and senior citizens. There said performer Amelia Cox (*95), will also be general admission "so when one Hamlet is speaking bleacher seats available for $2. April 7.1993 The Anchor 5 g PORTS Flying Dutchmen take bronze! Sidelines The 1993 NCAA Division III Todd Jungling men's swimming championships was one for (he Hope College record books. The Flying Dutchmen accumu- One shining moment... lated the highest point of any MI A A entry in the 19-ycar old event, fin- The hall is tipped; there you are pediatrics unit of the U-M ishing third in the nation. Kenyon, you're running for your life, Medical Center) arranged a Ohio won the national title for a you're a shooting star... visit from Juwan Howard. 14th consecutive year with 552 and all the years; no one knows, Though he had finals and two points while UC-San Diego was just how hard you worked, but games, Howard showed up at runnerup at 442.5 and Hope third now it shows. the hospital room with candy with 335. In one shining moment you reach canes. The men's third place finish at deep inside. "It was pretty obvious Juwan nationals is the best in the school's One shining moment you knew wasn't doing this as a favor," history. you were alive. says Randy's physician. "Once The Flying Dutchmen had 17 You will beat of your heart. he got there, he stayed...Randy All-America performances, includ- the wind in your face, talked and talked. Finally, we ing four silvermedal finishes. Hope it's more than a contest, it's more had to kick Juwan out. Howard added another seven honorable than a race. and most of his teammates mention All-America perfor- continued to visit." mances. In the end, 24 of Hope's 25 And when its done; win or lose— "Because of his AIDS, entries advanced to either the you always did your best Randy had sometimes been championshiporconsolation finals. because inside you knew... shunned by people...yet here Senior Jon Hescott became that one shining moment you were his idols holding out their Hope's most decorated All-Ameri- reached for the sky; arms and hugging him at every can male swimmer. This year he One shining moment you knew. opportunity. He became a was an NCAA medalist in three One shining moment you're different boy knowing he had freestyle events and another four willing to trust; this very special group of relays to raise his career total to 18 One shining moment you knew... friends." All-America pcrfonnances. He was One shining moment... The article went on to say fourth in the 100-yard freestyle and —CBS Sports (David Bare ft that "after several visits with U- sixth in both the 50-yard and 200- & Eric Siegel) M players. Randy was able to yard freestyle races. Senior Jeff attend games, sitting in a seat Bannink culminated a brilliant ca- Last weekend 1 found myself near the bench and hanging out reer with silver medal performances scanning the sports sections of in the locker room." in the 200-yard individual medley various newspapers, searching If that doesn't sound like and 200-yard freestyle. He was an for ideas for the sports column ^nc^or photo by Rich Blair class and the giving of oneself, NCAA All-American 14 times in WHILE WE WERE ALL CHANTING M-l-C-K-E-Y M-O-U- you are currently reading (and I don't know what does. his career. S-E during Spring Break, the Hope Flying Dutchmen undoubtedly enjoying). This past weekend. Randy Bannink and Hescott joined There were articles galore were finishing 3rd in nationals. and his mother made the trip to sophomores Kirk Assink arid Steve portraying Michigan as being a New Orleans to watch the Fab 5 Hope in a silver medal performance medal in the 200-yard backstroke, place finish. bunch of arrogant, flamboyant, courtesy of an all-expense-paid in the 800-yard freestyle relay. It's the best finish by a Hope fresh- Sophomores accounted for five and cocky underachievers who trip by school alumni. Freshman Keith Nykamp cul- man at a national meet. Nykamp All-America finishes. Kirk Assink have failed to live up to So here's a little boy whom minated an outstanding first colle- was also an All-American in the — expectations and who are doctors thought would never be giate year by winning the silver 100-yard backstroke with a sixth see SWIM page 8 coached by an individual who able to leave the hospital now lacks authority and discipline watching his heroes in New over his players. As I was Orleans. Th^ power of friend- Sports Briefs disgustedly about to put the ship is a tremendous ally and Detroit Free Press back in the the Wolverines are indeed Softball: Baseball: newspaper rack, an article in the powerful allies. Local News section jumped out The Flying Dutch finished strong with a pair of wins The Flying Dutchmen were delayed in a bid to open Although criticism is sure to at me. The headline read, to end their annual spring break trip to Florida with a defense of their MIAA championship when the cold continue to come Michigan's "Inspired by his heroes, ill boy 3-7 record. Hope played a challenging schedule, playing and snow forced postponement of a three-game week- way in terms of their on-court rallies." five teams that had been to the NCAA Division III end home set with Calvin. Only two of the three games antics and their flashy, play- playoffs within the last two years. can be made up. This article wasn't so much ground, trash-talking style of Senior All-American catcher Deb Vashaw of Lowell The Flying Dutchmen enjoyed their most successful about basketball as it was about play, I ask you to please not life. The article dealt with a side had an outstanding week, collecting six extra base hits southern trip in history, posting an 8-5 record. Hope has forget that this Michigan team of the Fab 5 that people don't including a pair of home runs. In victories over Spring been making the spring break trip to the south since is something really special— hear about—or perhaps, sadly, a Arbor she had eight RBIs. Vashaw now has five career 1962 and until this season had not won more than five both on and off the basketball side people don't want to hear home runs, tying the Hope mark held by teammate games in any year. This year marked just the second court. about. Rachel Zimmer ('93). time that they're returned north above the .500 mark; the While it's true that the maize —Hope College News Service last was in 1969 (5-2). Although I was scooped by and blue played in the national Lori Mathews of the Detroit —Hope College News Service championship game for the Free Press, I think the story second consecutive year Men's Track: Women's Track: warrants another look. Monday night(and you call that The story revolves around a underachieving?) the way they Hope 87, Olethorpe, Ga. 64 Oglethorpe, Ga. 79, Hope 66 little boy and his heroes. have represented the University Hope 69, Morris-Brown, Ga. 63 Morris Brown, Ga. 72, Hope 55 Actually it's about a buck- of Michigan off the court is just Southwestern CC 122, Hope 59, Grand Valley 21 Grand Valley 81, Hope 71, Southwestern CC 17 toothed, 48 pound, 13-year-old as, if not more, impressive than boy who in early December was their accomplishments on the told that he would die within court. NCAA Basketball weeks from AIDS complica- Hail to the Victors...Hail to tions that were causing his Michigan! by Todd Jungling Michigan. Carolina, and Kentucky visit Mt. Rushmore as they are the to UMass. Iowa, and Wake Forest. kidneys and liver to fail. As a They have indeed blessed sports editor only individuals to pick George One individual picked Califor- Washington victorious in the first holiday surprise (since Randy this great land of ours, and March madness has come and nia to beat Duke and Western Ken- round. loves basketball so much), Randy, in particular, with one gone and many of you were indeed tucky to defeat Seton Hall. But be- As for the final four teams. John Gwen Casiciel (a clerk in the shining moment. able to amaze and dazzle me with fore singing his praises, he also Housenga was the only individual the copious amount of basketball picked Ball State to reach the sweet to correctly pick all four (Michigan. knowledge you displayed in the 16. and in the final four he had Wake North Carolina. Kentucky, and NCAA tournament contest. Con- Forest and Louisville. Kansas). gratulations are especially in order There is one question I should I was a little disappointed, how- for Paul Rosenbrook, who with 105 probably pose at this juncture: Are ever. that no one agreed with me and SOFTBALL: TRACK: points won the coveted $ 15 DEB IT! people biased for a particular team picked Memphis State in the final Fri., April 9, 1:30 p.m. Wed., April 7, 2:30 p.m. DEBIT! Card prize. Aurora • Alma in terms of where they permanently four. If it hadn't been for that other Sat., April 10, 1 p.m. Sat. April 10, 12:30 p.m In all, there were 42 people who reside? Well, consider this: Of the team in Kentucky, they would have • at Adrian entered. Of these 42 contestants. 17 four people who picked Seton Hall • at Adrian done it too. Oh well. BASEBALL: picked Michigan to win it all, 10 to win it all. (Fm a poet and don't Here are the top five finishers in Sal. April 10, 1 p.m. picked Indiana. 5 North Carolina. 4 even know it!) three are from the the contest: Grand Rapids Baptist MEN'S TENNIS: Wed., April 7,3 p.m. Seton Hall. 2 Kentucky, 2 Cincinnati, stateofNewYork.Acoincidence...! 1. Paul Rosenbrook WOMEN'S TENNIS: • Calvin 1 Arizona, and one individual picked doubt it. 2. Brian Amoldink Fri.-Sat. April 9-10 Duke to take home the championship Thurs. April 8,3 p.m. Tim Johnston. Leslie Ritton. and 3. Norm Jolin • at Adrian GLCA Toum. at Oberlin trophy. Jeif Norder are apparently the only 4. Sharon Hoogendoom Mon., April 12,3 p.m. ¥ Final lour picks ranged from ones who pay attention when they 5. Bob Cross. John Housenga • Olivet = MIAA opponent S the Anchor April 7,1993 CLASSIFIEDS Hope mailroom now CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR LOST: Rawlings leather basketball, it's NEEDED: Exploration Assistants- NEW KAPPA CHI ACTIVES!: We're orangish, red in color and the initials Week long summer Admissions pro- mini-post office glad you all made it Love, —Your S.A. should still be visible near the air- gram for high school students. In need mailroom. Kappa Delta Chi Sisters (The Anchor hole. If anyone has seen it please call of current Hope students to serve as by Karen Marty apologizes for leaving this classifiedout Before, students could only get Scott at x6491 Resident Assistants. (Need not be Hope staff reporter in the last issue) College RA.) Please contact Jennifer their mail weighed and a postal fee Payette in the Admissions Office, at the It is becoming warm outside and assigned to it. Now the postage can CHEAP! FBI/U.S. SEIZED Admissions Office, x7850, by April 15. many students may enjoy an occa- be taken care of right at the mailroom. TO ALL THE WHITES VILLE 89 MERCEDES $200 sional walk to the post office, but ''Students had to come in to get "PIECES OF TOAST': Thank you all 86 VW $50 there are still those who would rather their mail weighed, then go down to for a wonderful week! Keep smiling, 87 MERCEDES $100 TAKE A CLASSIFIED OUT IN THE not traipse over there to get a package the bookstore to buy stamps, then and remember, if there were no hollers, 65 MUSTANG $50 ANCHOR: SEND MESSAGES TO weighed and mailed. come back up to the mailroom to we would find no mountains to climb. Choose from thousands starting $50 ALL YOUR FRIENDS HERE OR ON The Hope College mailroom, mail their package," said tenHaken. Love Ya'll—"Ma" FREE Information-24 Hour hotline. OFF CAMPUS PROGRAMS! ONLY located on the first floor of DeWitt, "A few steps will be saved." (801 )-379-2929Copyright#MI041510 $.25! JUST COME IN TO THE AN- has solved this problem. They have Also, UP.S. is now offered to — CHOR OFFICE AND DROP IT OFF! made changes that enable students students for an extra service charge $200-$500 WEEKLY: Assemble Prod- 25 WORDS OR LESS! to take care of all of their postal and next day air or second day air ucts at Home. Easy! No selling. You're TO: Robin Diana, Germaine and Frans business right on campus. may be requested. However, stu- paid direct Fully Guaranteed. Free In- Smith, Richard Frost, Hope College In addition to the mail delivery dents are responsible for wrapping formation^ hour Hotline. (801)- 379- Student Hosts and the Hope College/ SAVE A LIRE, DONATE BLOOD! and package weighing services they their own packages. 2900 Copyright #MI041550 Holland Community, FROM: Omanial Blood Drive, Thurs. April 8, 11 a.m. - have always provided, they now sell All monetary transactions made Cates + Terrance Haynes, Presidents of 4:45 p.m. in Maas Auditorium. Spon- stamps and have expanded their at the mail room must be done by B lack Coalition. Thanks for all your help sored by Alpha Phi Omega and the FOR SALE: A regular size North Face package services. cash or check. No credit cards will in making The Voices of Praise Concert American Red Cross. "The mailroom now basically be accepted. backpack. Only been used a few times. a raging, hand clapping, foot stompin' provides all of the services that a The new mini-post office is open $95. If interested contact Jennifer Payette success! post office would to students," said from 8:30 a.m. to noon and from 1 at Admissions, x7850 Please recycle this paper. Bruce tenHaken, supervisor of the p.m. to 4:30 p.m. on weekdays.
mm Looking ahead to next year?
"I don't know what your destiny will be, but this I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve." -Albert Schweitzer • • •
'Doing Our (Best To Serve The West
Student Congress of ttope College
PETITIONS NOW AVAILABLE FOR STUDENT CONGRESS PRESIDENT, VICE PRESIDENT, AND COMPTROLLER RUN FOR STUDENT CONGRESS! Attention: Hope students bound for Europe Pick up a petition at the Congress office, in DeWitt Center across from WTHS,
Obtain the appropriate number of signatures and return the petition by 5:00 p.m. Monday, April 12. Now issued "on the spot" CAMPAIGN HARD FOR THE APRIL 19 ELECTION! with no delay and no service charge!
HOPE STUDENTS! MTATra/e! Give something back to the Holland community! -official distributors of lEVMAlllUFASS'
Improve campus / community relations! 21 W. 7th St. 396-1492 HOLLAND
Work off community service hours! Lend a helping hand to those in need! o Concerned? Q Pregnancy? 3 BirthControl? O Sexually Transmitted CD Diseases? PARTICIPATE IN THE SECOND ANNUAL HOPE COLLEGE COMMUNITY CLEAN-UP DAY! 3 AIDS?
SATURDAY, APRIL 17,1993 0 Call X7585 Q, Confidential counseling Approximately one hour time commitment. . ^ Free Pregnancy Testing Individuals and organizations may sign up at the Student Congress office, Hope College or call x.7881. HEALTH CLINIC
April 7,1993 The Anchor 7 /
Swim Fun fact: Anchor— Teflon, a common Continued from page 6 Continued from page 3 plastic used in non- was fifth in the 200-yard freestyle tography, graphics and layout. stick surfaces and and sixth in the SOOyard freestyle; "There are vulnerabilities," pipe tape, was discov- Steve Hope was seventh in the 200- Renner said. 'They are compro- ered by accident. yard freestyle and eighth in the SOO- mising because of the time factor, yard free; and Jack Methric was they don't have time to get the Teflon was the result fourth in the 100-yard backstroke. glitches out." of an unexpected The Flying Dutchmen had an All- But the staff is making lime, polymerization of a American sweep in relay events with ambitious and ready to work on gas in a steel cylinder, EAEPLV medal performances in all five of its polishing the paper. "We're work- LATE If not fo r the curiosity relay entries. Hescott and Bannink ing towards winning All-American," TANNING TANNING were members on four of the relay Runyon said. "We're conciencious of theperson handling teams. They were joined by Assink, about what we do and take it seri- the cylinder, who SPECIAL SPECIAL Hope, Methric as wel I as senior Brian ously." 9PM - 11PM found it empty, but 7AM - 9AM Bollone, sophomore Dan Knapp, with the same mass., Monday - Thursday and junior Brad Genson. 6PM-8PM we would not have Monday - Friday —Hope College News Service Saturday Teflon today. t 1 Per j 2 per O visit visit exp. 4/30/93 J exp. 4/30/93 mmm mmm mmm HOURS TO BETTER SERVE YOU! Monday - Thursday 7 a.m. - 11 p.m. Friday 7 a.m. - 9 p.m. Saturday 7 a.m. - 8 p.m. Sunday 12 noon - 5 p.m. Come bronze your buns r/Wm//A in our tropical sun wM
0 & i 184 8. River, Holland 39S-3228 Tan body is the only SAE certified salon in Holland
LAUREN
KORNBR
debit QEBiTij Mom always said, "Spend your money wisely!" What she should have said is, "Spend your money at the Kletz!"
N. Third S<. • Grand H««tn • •42-5110 36 W. Iifhth SI. • HolUnd • 39b-1133 Mom didn't know that you could get 10% on money you deposit into the new DEBIT! DEBIT! card program, P ALENDAR OF EVENTS available now at the Kletz snack bar! A deposit of $25.00 becomes $27.50 in DEBIT! DEBIT! Arts & Entertainment Student Organizations (cont.) Knickerbocker Theatre - Fellowship of Christian Students - money to spend on anything, any time at the Kletz like 99c April 2-8 The Wages of Fear, 7 and 9:40 nightly Mon., 9 p.m. in Maas Auditorium April 9-15 Mediteranneo nightly 7:00 p.m. and 9 InterVarsity Christian Fellowship - nachos on Wednesday night or 2 fer 1 pizza on Tuesday or tOetz nightly Fri., 8:30 in Otte rm., Phelps Hall Art Exhibition - Students for Christ - cupreSb o r spicy fries Of anchor burgers or cheese sticks or Pepsi produds... April 10, Graduating Senior Show Openinc, DePree Tues. 9 p.m. in Maas Conference rm. Art Gallery Debate Team - Recital - Mon., 7-9 p.m. in Lubbers 103 Mon. April 12, Stewart Leniger, baritone: Senor Forensics Association - Recital, Dimnent Chapel, 8 p.m. Mon. 9 p.m. in Lubbers 103 (Call Alspach x7594) Visiting Writer Series - ACOA - (Adult Children of Alcoholics) Thurs. April 8, Ellen Bryant Voigt, gues author, Maas Tues. 9 p.m. Sligh building rm. 201 - Contact The Anchor Auditorium, 8 p.m. Darell Schregardus (x7945) Non-Profit Environmental Issues Group - Hope College DeWitt Center Organization Campus Events P.O. Box 9000 Wed., 6 p.m. in Lubbers 103 U.S. Postage Seminar - Amnesty International - Holland, Ml 49422-9000 Tues. April 8,7rdering Your Private World," 4:30 Wed., 8 p .m. in Barber rm., Phelps PAID p.m., Chapel, 15c Black Coalition - Tues. April 8, "Aspects of the End Times," 8:30 p.m.. Tues. Hope College Dr. Netzl/s home Student Congress - Mon. April 12, "How Refevant is Today's Church," 3:30 Thurs., 9:30 p.m. in Maas Conference rm. Public p.m., Dow 204 welcome Blood Drive - Nurses Christian Fellowship - Thurs. April 8, American Red Cross Blood Drive, Hope-Calvin Nursing Students; Thurs. 3:30 p.m. in Maas Auditorium, 11 a.m. Calvin North Hall rm. 268 PRIDE - Student Organizations Sun. 8 p.m., Snow Auditorium; call Jeremy (x6496) for Sign Language Club - info Womens Issues Orginization - Tues., 8 p.m. in Voorhees Basement, Maas rm. Tues., 4:30 p.m., in WI Center, Chapel Basement Call The Anchor (x7877) with additional times and dates of campus events
8 The Anchor April 7,1993