Semi-Structured Interview Protocol

Online Supplement 1 1

1 Online supplement for Kerrick, M. R., & Henry, R. L. (2016). “Totally in love”: Evidence of a 2 master narrative for how new mothers should feel about their babies. Sex Roles. Madeleine R. 3 Kerrick, University of California, Santa Cruz, Email: [email protected] 4 5 Semi-Structured Interview Protocol 6 7 *These questions were always asked, unless the participant produced narratives on these subjects 8 after the initial question. Subordinate questions were asked on a case-by-case basis to elicit a 9 more in-depth description of participants’ experiences and to address areas of interest not 10 brought up by the participant without prompting. 11 12 Initial Question:* I am interested in your experiences of pregnancy, prenatal care, labor & birth, 13 and parenting. Would you tell me your story starting with whether you planned your pregnancy? 14 15 Did you plan to get pregnant when you did? 16 How did you feel about being pregnant? 17 How did you choose your provider? 18 What did you like about them? 19 What didn’t you like about them? 20 How would you characterize your relationship with your provider? 21 How did you feel about your prenatal provider? 22 What do you think most contributed to your feeling that way? 23 Can you describe when you first thought of yourself as a mother? 24 During your pregnancy, did you think about motherhood? What did you think about it? 25 What were your thoughts about being/becoming a mother? 26 Did you feel supported in becoming a mother? How so? 27 Did you do anything to prepare for labor and birth? What? 28 Did you do anything to prepare for becoming a mother? What? 29 30 *What did it feel like to be pregnant? 31 32 *Would you tell me the story of your labor and birth? 33 Who attended your birth? 34 Did you feel supported? 35 Who most contributed to your feeling supported? 36 How did they do that? 37 Did you feel supported by [your birth provider]? 38 In what ways? In what ways did you not feel supported by them? 39 Did you feel respected? 40 Who most contributed to your feeling respected? 41 How did they do that? 42 Did you feel respected by [your birth provider]? 43 In what ways? In what ways did you not feel respected by them? 44 Did you feel prepared for labor and birth? 45 In what ways? What could have helped you to feel more prepared? 46 During your birth, did you think about becoming a mother? What did you think about? Online Supplement 1 2

47 48 *What were your feelings just after you gave birth? 49 50 *What did it feel like to give birth? 51 52 *Would you tell me about your experiences as a parent? 53 What were your initial thoughts about being a mother? 54 Do you feel supported in being a new mother? 55 What about motherhood do you find most rewarding? 56 What is easiest? [can you tell me about a time you remember doing this?] 57 What is most challenging? [can you tell me about a time you remember doing this?] 58 Did you feel prepared to become a parent? 59 In what ways? What could have helped you to feel more prepared? 60 What areas of parenting do you feel most capable in? 61 What do you think helps you to feel capable in these areas? 62 What areas of parenting do you feel least capable in? 63 What do you think contributes to your feelings less capable in these areas? 64 65 Online Supplement 2 3

66 Online supplement for Kerrick, M. R., & Henry, R. L. (2016). “Totally in love”: Evidence of a 67 master narrative for how new mothers should feel about their babies. Sex Roles. Madeleine R. 68 Kerrick, University of California, Santa Cruz, Email: [email protected] 69

Coding Manual for Mothers’ Feelings Talk Episodes

Identifying Feelings Talk Episodes May 18, 2015 The goal of this coding is to identify episodes of talk in which new mothers are describing how they feel (or felt) about their babies or their relationship with/connection to their babies. Instances in which the participants are talking about their feelings toward or connection to their babies are what I’m calling Feelings Talk Episodes. CODING: Identifying Feelings Talk Episodes  Can occur anywhere within the transcript.

 Code participants’ talk of feelings (positive, negative, or absent) toward or about their baby (in utero or since birth). She may use words like:

o love

o flood of emotions

o resentment

o overwhelming feelings  Code participants’ talk of connection to their baby (in utero or since birth; this can include lack of connection as well). She may use words like:

o bond, bonding

o connect(ed), connection

o intimate  Episodes begin at the start of the new turn (i.e., if it is a continuation turn, one that begins with =, start where that turn began) in which the participant brings up her feelings/connection BUT if that turn is in response to a question, at the start of the question turn. However, if the turn includes a vague reference – e.g., ‘it’, ‘that’ WITHOUT the referent (the thing that the reference signifies) in that turn – you should include the previous turn (or turns) so as to include the referent.  Episodes end at the topic shift. If the turn ends or breaks (i.e., where a line ends with = due to an overlap) and the subsequent turn is about a different topic, end the episode at the end of / break in the turn. If the topic shifts mid-turn, end the episode at the end or break in the turn after the topic shift. Include the next continuation turn, if the break occurs mid-clause.

Code ONLY mother’s feelings about/connection to her baby. Online Supplement 2 4

EXAMPLES: The excerpts presented below are rough, not finalized, transcripts and are for training purposes ONLY. Overlap brackets may not line up due to page formatting.

The start of the episode is indicated by ID_FE# (where # identifies which feeling episode it is for that participant; e.g., 001_FE2 would be Participant 001’s 2nd episode); the line number where the feelings talk first occurs is in parenthesis. END indicates the end of the episode.

008: =(2) the books and the yoga workshop that's (.) I think that's about it (.) the prenatal yoga I think that's about (1) well actually I I did yoga I'm sorry I did acupuncture in that last trimester too (.)=

I: ((mhm))

008: =to work on points that would help um::: (.) prepare me for::: (1) (a:::) delivery (.) 008_FE1 (21) 70 I: okay (2) um::: (1) s:::o (.) for you::: what did it feel like tah be

71 pregnant (3) 72 73 008: um::: I actually loved being pregnant (.)= 74 75 I: ((mhm)) 76 77 008: =it um::: (1) I::: well I (1) the first trimester was (.) extremely 78 anxiety provoking for me so I didn't (1) really enjoy:::h::: that just 79 because of the anxiety [um I= 80 81 I: [((mhm)) 82 83 008: =(.) I was sick a lot but that wasn't (1) the worst of the worst part 84 was anxiety for sure (.) um::: (1)but then after that once we got through 85 the first trimester I loved being pregnant and I::: especially when I 86 could feel them (1) moving around inside of me I::: (1) absolutely loved 87 that um::: (.) and I still like miss::: (.) that feeling and get 88 nostalgic for that (1) um::: (1) but I loved being able tah::: (.) to 89 feel them and I could feel you know I knew where each of them wer:::e and 90 I could feel them moving around and (.)that was just really (.) special I 91 feel very (.) felt very connected to them END I: ((m:::)) ((mhm)) (1) ((mhm)) (1) so I fee:::l like I've gotten a good sense of::: your experiences in prenatal care and pregnancy is there anything about those times that you feel like (.) you haven't mentioned that was important for you that you wanna (.) talk about before we kind of move on tah labor and birth::: (2)

This is a feelings episode because the participant talks about feeling connected to her babies (twins) on lines 21 and 22. IF she had only talked about loving being pregnant (e.g, line 4) but had NOT talked about feelings/connection to the babies, it would NOT be coded. It begins at line Online Supplement 2 5

1 because this is the turn that includes the question that elicits the talk of connection seenon lines 21 and 22. 008: =(.) an::: um::: she she did this to avoid that and so::: (1) I::: (1) (again) again so appreciate that it (.) you know the person who is making the decisions (.) was someone who::: knew my history and could factor that (1) i:::in to consideration an (.) you know (2) even it when it was a really (1) intense critical moment (where she) c:::c:::could think that through and knew my history and was able to make a decision (inaudible)

for my well-being (1)

I: yeah::: (2) um::: (.) so::: you talked about when L came ou:::t (.) you know his apgar was really low and they::: and they took him away and you got to see him::: (.) but then he had to leave again to go to the nursery::: (.) what was that like for you::: (.) having jus:::t a short time with him before he had to go (2)

008: um::: that was really hard that was really hard um::: (2) becaus:::e I::: (3) you know lik:::e ((h:::)) (1) I mean it's just (1) I::: had been so::: (1) flexible I think in like what I wanted in terms of my::: (1) ((b)) birth like I didn't I wasn't like you know I can't have this and I can't have this intervention and I (.) I was just very open to stuff but I'd never (1) and I didn't hav:::e (1) (for) like I purposfully did not have a set way that I pictured (1) the birth taking place 008_FE2 (33)

92 008: um:::)but I always pictured being able to::: (1) (with see) and hold the 93 babies right away 94 95 I: yeah::: 96 97 008: and so::: (.) you know I felt like I (.) I really missed (1) tha:::t 98 with him [(.)um::: 99 100 I: [((mhm)) 101 102 008: and it is har:::d too because he was in the level two nursery the entire 103 time we were ther:::e so he never got to room in with us and I felt 104 like I missed out on some of that like initial bonding that I got 105 with his sister END I: ((mhm:::)) (.) ((mhm:::))

008: (.) um::: (2) an:::d::: (1) an you know I appreciate that my OB is (.) really like honest (chart) you know straight shooter (.) but I had asked her::: (.) when she was stitching me back up after the episiotomy I had asked her if L was going to be okay::: (.) and she said you know she's like well at this point (.) you know they're doing everything they need to do and we'll learn more soon (.) [and so= Online Supplement 2 6

This is a feeling episode because the participant talks about ‘bonding’ (a synonym for connection). While the connection talk is in the turn starting on line 33, 008’s previous turn provides the referent (“missing that with him”) for the ambiguous reference ‘it’ on line 33 and the turn before that provides the referent (“seeing and holding the babies right away”) for the ambiguous reference ‘that’ on line 28, and thus the episode starts on line 23. 008: =um::: (.) I didn't feel like a you know a (2) I didn't feel like a (1) failure because I::: (.) had more interventions than::: (1) some other people might be (1) okay with you know I've definitely heard some people like feel like it was a failure because (they've had) certain interventions an I I didn't (.) feel like that I just felt like (1) they were what (1) needed to be done and you know health care providers who I really (1) trusted were (.) um::: (3) you know making::: (1) the decisions

that would bes:::t for the three of us (1) =

I: yeah (1) so you talked a little bit about feeling::: um::: (1) kind of disappointed when L had to go::: t:::o the nursery (.) and then::: (.) having the time with::: C (1) skin to skin::: (1) um::: (.) kind of thinking about (1) especially cause you had two birth:::s ((h:::uh)) um::: (.) what your feelings were just after::: (.) they were kind of both born and you were in that tim:::e (.) um::: (.) in that immediate postpartum time (3)

008: um::: (1) can you repeat that again sorry (.)

008_FE3 (78) 106 I: that's okay (.) um::: so just what were feelings kind of in the::: (.) 107 just after::: giving birth::: (.) um you talked a little bit about 108 your feelings around (.) right after L's birth but talking a little 109 bit more [after= 110 111 008: [right 112

113 I: =C was born (1) 114 115 008: when C was born (.) u:::m (.) well I I felt like reall:::y::: (2) a 116 sense of accomplishment (.) [like (.)= 117 118 I: [((m:::)) 119 120 008: =again that I had avoided the::: I (.) you know if we needed (an) OR 121 then we needed the OR but that like I had avoided tha:::t (.)[um:::= 122 123 I: [((mhm)) 124 125 008: =(1) it (was) I guess I felt conflicted cause I felt this sense of 126 accomplishment but then (at) the same time I also worry that (2) could 127 I you know I was worried like did I do something wron:::g that led to Online Supplement 2 7

128 L (2) needing (1) you know not having such a good outcome at the very 129 beginning [(.)= 130 131 I: [((m:::)) 132 133 008: =um::: (1) so I was::: (.) (I guess) you know proud at the same time (1) 134 felt some guilt around you know (inaudible) an and doubt around::: (1) 135 the role I played in his::: (1) um::: (2) complications

136 [(.) = 137 138 I: [((mhm:::)) 139 140 008: =um::: (2) but I fel:::t::: (1) such a::: (2) an I an (it's just) very a 141 very conflicted cause I I felt really worried about him but then just 142 doing the skin to skin with C I had felt like such a sense of peac:::e 143 (.)[in tha:::t = 144 145 I: [((m:::) (.) ((mhm)) 146 147 008: =um::: (1) and just this sense of like intimac:::y (.) an:::d um::: (2) 148 and connection and like amazement like it was so (1) just surreal but 149 this::: (.) I mean it's still surreal for me:::h::: 150 [((h:::h)) (because it's)= 151 152 I: [((laughs)) 153 154 008: =((l)) you know this little person::: (2) um::: (2) like that I had just 155 delivered her and now like she's my baby and she's on me (1) [(which 156 is)= 157 158 I: [yeah::: 159 160 008: =(1) you know mind blowing (.) um::: (1) so just a lot of feelings at 161 once I was I mean it's definitely emotional like I was (2) you know 162 crying out of for I think many reasons ((ha:::huh)) 163 164 I: yeah::: 165 166 008: um::: (1) so::: (1) yeah it was very (1) amazing (as anything)

END I: it sounds like it (1) um::: (.) s:::o (1) kind of my las:::t I have (.) I think probably two questions left abou:::t your birth experience (.) um::: (.) and the first is::: (1) you know I know you had an [epidural=

While feelings/connection talk begins in the continuation turn on line 78 with talk of ‘intimacy’ and ‘connection’, this turn began on line 46 and was prompted by a question in the previous turn. Thus, the episode begins with the question that initiated this turn. Coding Experiences and Expectations

July 10, 2015

CODING: Experiences in Feelings Talk Episodes

Experience refers to the gist of how the mothers talk about their experience of feelings/connection in a given episode. There are 2 main Experiences (‘At First Sight’ and ‘It Took Time’). These main experiences are mutually exclusive. Each episode can be coded with only ONE experience.

At First Sight episodes are ones in which mothers describe an immediate connection to or feelings for the baby (could occur in pregnancy or at/just after birth) that are positive, free of doubt and uncertainty, and/or came easily. These feelings included love, intimacy, and euphoria specific to the baby. They might use words like:

 intimate

 instant

 easy

 rewarding

 strong

 certain

 a flood of emotions

 overwhelming [positive] feelings (valence can be inferred by coder from context and verbal cues)

 love at first sight

 strong love

 falling in love

 easy love

 exciting

 amazing

 unconcerned about loving  special

It Took Time episodes are ones in which mothers describe a connection that was NOT present in pregnancy or just after birth (but that may be present or developing at the time of the interview), or feelings that were absent (but may be present or developing at the time of the interview), negative, questioned or tentative. They might describe their connection or feelings as:

 difficult

 missing

 taking time

 lacking

 no wave of emotions

 not loving

 doubt

 questioning

 maybe I felt it

 resentment

CODING: Expectations in Feelings Talk Episodes Expectations refer to talk of how mothers generally feel about their babies or how this mother should feel. She may describe:  reading about, watching videos of, or being told about mothers’ feelings/connection to their babies in general  expectations (her own or others) for this specific mother’s feelings/connection with her baby. o She may not explicitly mention expectations, but talk about something she heard, read, or was told about how mothers feel or how she would feel, or she may talk about what she didn’t experience – thus implicitly referencing an expectation (e.g., “that didn’t happen”).

For each episode, code whether expectations are PRESENT or ABSENT.

Code as present only if expectations are about mothers’ feelings about/connection to baby. IF an episode is coded as expectations: present, it then must be coded for what the expectations are. Expectations can be that love/connection will happen at first sight and be overwhelmingly positive or that they will take time (see Experiences for explanation of these concepts). If a mother notes that her love exceeded her expectations, this is coded as at first sight because it aligns with the expectation for immediate and overwhelming love.

For each expectations: present episode, code whether expectations are:

AT FIRST SIGHT (AFS) or IT TAKES TIME (ITT)

TRUMP RULE: If she talks about generalized expectations and personal expectations, and they would not be coded the same (e.g., generalized expectation is ITT but personal expectation is AFS), the personal expectation is what gets coded. EXAMPLES: The excerpts presented below are rough, not finalized, transcripts and are for training purposes ONLY. Overlap brackets may not line up due to page formatting.

004 FE4 167 I:what were your feelings just after you gave birth 168 169 004:um(.)i was sort of in a(.)da:ze i think(.)i think it was i dont know if 170 it was a combination of the exhuastion and just(.)like what= 171 172 like it really happened you know still not quite really registering 173 that it had really happened [um and i had her in my hands and i = 174 175 I: 176 [yeah 177 178 004:=remember being like hhh say it like i almost like just repeated the 179 things that i heard people say in in the movies [and the videos= 180 181 I: 182 [m:: 183 184 004:=like .hhh like what do i say i think i looked at my boyfriend and i said 185 look what we made or look what we did or something like 186 187 that and then like °i feel like i saw that in a movie° [you know i think 188 i saw somebody else say that and it was like there she was= 189 190 I: [((giggle)) 191 192 004:=and i was just kinda talking to her: and still not feeling like it was 193 real [you know i was just i really feel like i was like(.)= 194 195 I: 196 [okay 197 198 004:=kinda just in this fo:g like da:ze of like[(2.3)and really it must be 199 real now [you know but it still didn't quite f:eel real and i= 200 201 I: [yeah 202 [yeah 203 204 004:=didn't(.)i didn't cr:y i actually i had expected to cry through most of 205 my labor i warned everyone [about that i cause i was real= 206 207 I: 208 [((laughter)) 209 210 004:=i was really quick to cry while i was pregnant [and it was like i wasn't 211 really(.)overly emotional except that i would cry at = 212 213 I: [yeah 214 215 004:=anything[((giggle))i cried at commercials on t:v:: you know like 216 anything i was just quick to cry [and so i was was i i'm just guna = 217 218 I: [((giggle)) 219 [yeah 220 221 004:=probably cry through my whole labor and delivering and[ i didn't i think 222 i i almost cried a couple times out of frustration [but = 223 224 I: [yeah 225 [m:: 226 227 004:=never out of that like(.)that really of just like sentimental 228 emotion[(.)um(.)i didn't cry when she was born la:ter when i was in = 229 230 I: [mhm 231 232 004:=bed and they were stiching me up I think maybe they were done stiching 233 me up and i was just laying next to her and just like looking at her 234 235 then i sort of i sort of was like oh::kay and i like started crying 236 then and it was like oh::my god d like so i did sort of get that 237 238 overwhelming feeling [a lil bit then i was just like(.)hhh okay it did 239 happend you know[((giggle))and like i i still you know i = 240 241 I: [mhm 242 [yeah 243 244 004:=don't know maybe that was it maybe i did have it((giggle))[but it wasn't 245 as big as i thought it was guna[ um(.)yeah i didn't cry i = 246 247 I: [yeah 248 [yeah 249 250 004:=didn't(.)i did i don't know i feel like i was in a fog[(.)and it was 251 really surreal[ very surreal 252

Experience:__It Took Time______Expectations:____Present: AFS

This episode is coded as ‘It Took Time’ because she is tentative about whether she got that ‘overwhelming feeling.’ She says she “sort of” got it “a lil bit” but that she “doesn’t know.” It is coded as having expectations because she says on line 78 that “it wasn’t as big as I thought it was guna be.” Her talk on line 21 of having seen someone say that in a movie and on line 38 of expecting to cry during labor would NOT be coded as expectations present because it’s not about how one should feel about /connect with baby. The expectation is coded AFS, because she describes expecting to feel a big overwhelming feeling toward the baby (lines 70-79).

020 FE2 253 M: yeah (1.2) what has been most challenging 254 255 020: um::: (.) °go:::sh° (2) °I don't know° what's has been most 256 challenging(2.2) I- I think just (2) just the fact 257 that (.) that you really (.) it takes time to bond with °your ba↑:by° 258 259 M: mhmm 260 261 020: and during the weeks that are the hardest to take care of he:r↑ (1) you 262 don't (.) for me::: you know (.) I didn't 263 (1.2) I didn't feel this:: (1) this hu:ge immediate (.8) love:: I felt this 264 instinctive need to protect he↑r but that's not the same thing 265 266 M: mhmm 267 268 020: I didn't (.) I didn't have that innate (1) um:: (2) need to (.8) uh °I 269 don't know° (.) I didn't lo:ve her 270 immediately 271 272 M: mh[mm 273 274 020: [and (.) it- there was: guilt and shame around that but it also made (.) 275 taking care of her (.) really hard:: when she 276 was at her neediest (.) [and ((baby noises)) 277 278 M: [right 279 280 020: so it was hard on a (.) on a mental level ((baby crying)) 281 282 M: yeah 283 284 020: um:: and that has been the hardest thing and it's a huge:: relief:: (.) 285 to start to love your baby ((chuckles)) 286 287 M: m↑hmm↑::: 288 289 020: and as much as that sounds like a crazy:: (.8) thing:: (.) I can't be 290 the only one (1) who didn't love her baby 291 right at the beginning 292 293 M: yeah 294 295 020: so::: that has been the hardest thing to sort of feel like (.) I might 296 be the only one 297 298 M: mhmm 299 300 020: but uh I know from a a objective place that that can't be 301 302 M: mhmm 303 304 020: all those people and all their mothers I can't have been the only person 305 who- to go through that- but that's 306 been the hardest thing 307 308 M: yeah 309 310 020: that that when it's really really hard (.) I didn't have this 311 emotiona:::l capacity that just developed 312 immediately:: to to be selfless:: and ta: (2) you know not no:t be resentful 313 when I had to wake up four times in the 314 middle of the night or (.) u:m you know breast feeding was really really hard 315 for like six weeks [a:::nd (0.5)= 316 317 M: 318 [yeah 319 320 020: =um (0.9) and I feel she still has to eat ((chuckles)) so:: 321 322 M: yeah 323 324 020: so emotionally (.) it wasn't (1.0) wasn't there (.5) for a long time 325 [and= 326 327 M: 328 [yeah 329 330 020: =that's been the hardest thing 331

Experience:__It Took Time______Expectations:____Present: AFS ______

This is coded as ‘It Took Time’ because she describes it taking time to bond with her baby (line 91), and not loving her at the beginning (e.g., line 97). It’s coded as expectations present because she refers to not having felt “that innate love” (line 102). This is implicitly referring to an expectation that she would have or should have felt an innate love so it is coded as AFS.

023 FE2 332 023: so tha:t I could still take him for a walk here or there ((sniffs)) u:m 333 but (.) but u:m but I um you know so I always envision like so I

334 finally have my baby and I wanna wear him and do attachment parenting 3819256> 335 an:d and you know I dream of that and then I wasn't able to 336 ((baby coo)) um I had to nurse from the side because of the pressure on 337 the scar hurt so mu↑:ch and not that there's anything wrong with that but 338 I would've liked you know to hold him this way e:r u:m and even just 339 picking him up was)super ha:rd in the beginning [and= 340 341 I: [umhum 342 343 023: =u:m there was so little I was able to do: [u:m= 344 345 I: [umhum 346 347 023: =and my husband still- he was home for four weeks which was great= 348 349 I: yeah 350 351 023: =and he was able to carry him so he still got like [his= 352 353 I: [yeah 354 355 023: =what he nee:ded um (.) but then I was feeling like he's only gonna bond 356 with you and I'm just his foo::d and you get no 357 feedback from the baby at that [point= 358 359 I: [yeah 360 361 023: =you know [and= 362 363 I: [yeah 364 365 023: =u:m so so I didn't bo:nd with him right awa:y u::m (.) I- I think (.) 366 there- there was point about you know when he was about three weeks 367 old that I kissed him on his cheek (.) and it was the first time I kissed 368 him [and- and-= 369 370 I: [m:: 371 372 023: =and thats like I think it probably sounds crazy (.) but I realized (.) 373 like (.) like- it was like a revalation o↑h I can kiss you like- 374 you're like- like- like (.) thats something we can do together [((laughs))= 375 376 I: [right 377 378 023: =you know= 379 380 I: totally 381 382 023: =and it was the sweetest thing he's got the the softest sweetest cheeks 383 to kis[s (.) ((laughs))= 384 385 I: [((laughs)) 386 387 023: =and and I was like oh right cause your my so↑:n and it was like this 388 realization of [like ya know 389 390 I: [yeah 391 392 023: =and it like took awhi:le (.) u:m to me that's awhile I know for some 393 women it takes even more than that- [or longer than tha:t= 394 395 I: [umhum 396

397 ¤<3914052> 023: u:m (.) so: (1) so: yeah it's- I mean it's really surprised me 398 tha:t the bonding didn't come right away because you know if the losses 399 we've been through and how much I wanted him an (.) u:m allowing myself 400 to seperate- u:m like people would say well at least you 401 have a healthy kid now when I would talk about the [story= 402

Experience:__It Took Time______Expectations:____Present: AFS This episode is coded with the Experience It Took Time because she says she didn’t bond with her baby right away (line 199). It is coded as expectations present because she talks about generalized expectations about bonding time (line 226-227) and personal expectations about how long it would take for her (line 231-234). Although her expectation for moms in general is that it can take a while for bonding to happen, which would be coded as ITT, her personal expectation was that it wouldn’t take long for her, indicated by the surprise she expresses on line 231. The personal expectation trumps and it is coded as AFS.

030 FE4 403 030: its really funny(.) when i:: first was telling people i was pregnant so like 404 at three months one of our(.) good friends who had a(.) newborn [came to 405 visit u::s= 406 407 z: [↓yea 408 409 030: =and the::y(.4) ↓were::-the wife was just saying about like how intense 410 the love i::s[= 411 412 z: 413 [m:::: 414 415 030: =how she's never loved anything so much as her baby and how its this 416 who::le different kind of love(.) [a::nd= 417 418 z: 419 420 [yea::: 421 422 030: =my husband was like well don't you love your husband as much as your 423 baby:: and ↓like the husband's right there and she's like ↓no i love the 424 baby more [((laugh))= 425 426 z: [((laugh)) 427 428 030: =and my husband(.) and (its in much) (.) like its totally different and 429 its w↑ay stronger ↓and my husband's like that's not very nice you 430 shouldn't love your baby more than your husband [you should 431 love them the same= 432 433 z: 434 [((laugh)) 435 436 030: =so its so funny like(.) like my husband helped deliver the baby and 437 like[ ca-like= 438 439 z: 440 [y::ea 441 442 030: =he delivered like the head and the shoulders and then like put her up 443 on me(.) and like as he was putting her up on me °he just goes° ↓i love 444 the baby ↑more than you((laugh)) i was like(.) mya me too 445 [((loud laugh))it's totally fine ((laugh))= 446 447 z: 448 [((laughter)) 449 that's so swee::t 450 451 030: =((laugh)) i was like i know(.) that's jus::t how it goes [that's= 452 453 z: 454 [y::ea 455 456 030: =just the way it should be ((laugh))

Experience:__At First Sight Expectations:____Present: AFS

This episode is coded as At First Sight because she says that just as the baby was born she loved the baby more than she loved her husband (line 279). It is coded as expectations: Present because she discusses being told by a friend about how intense a mother’s love for her baby is (lines 243- 266). The expectations are coded as AFS because the love is described as intense, different than any other love, exceeding any other love.

030 FE8 457 z: what's been easiest 458 459 030: i-like this is(.4) i just think it's easy like you just love the::m 460 like and like when she's hungry i feed he::r and if i think she needs to 461 be snuggled i snuggle her and like when she needs to 462 sleep i rock her to sleep like 463 464 z: yea:: 465 466 030: it:: hasn't really been hard for me::: i just love it like

Experience:__At First Sight Expectations:____Absent______

This episode is coded as At First Sight because she describes her love as easy (line 294). She does not discuss expectations, so it’s coded as expectations: Absent.