To the Manor Born 3-5

1 Manor Born 3-5

Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: ______in Taunton? Marjory Frobisher: Yes, I went to get, get some wool for this cardigan. You won’t believe it, but they’ve ______! Aud: You have been knitting it ______! Marj: I know! ______– I suppose I’ll have to give it to the jumble sale! Aud: ______? Marj: It’s Richard’s helicopter! Aud: No, that thing that looks as though it’s ______! Marj: It’s a sculpture! Aud: Oh, ______! Marj: That’s because ______! Aud: It’s an eyesore! Marj: Richard’s ______– it’s awfully avant garde, and all that sort of thing! Aud: ______! Marj: Aud, ______on their own land! Aud: It may be his land, but ______! Come on, Bertie, ______DeVere! And you, Marjory! Marj: Oh!

Marj: Looks as though ______! Aud: Off on one of his business deals, I suppose! ______these days! Marj: Yes, ______? Aud: So that ______! Let’s have a closer look at that thing from outer space! Marj: Richard says ______! Aud: ______? Marj: Well, the sculptor, I suppose! Aud: That’s his idea of poetry? Marj: ______! Aud: Well ______who look like that? Marj: It’s not any particular woman, it’s – ______! Aud: Well if that’s how you feel, I’m surprised ______! 2 Manor Born 3-5

That dog has ______!

Mademoiselle Dutoit: So, which of our cosmetics do you wish to retail ______? Richard DeVere: ______of Dutoit’s Peut-être! Dut: Monsieur DeVere, you ask me to grant a franchise of our brand name to what is, en effet, no more than ______! Rich: Well, ______, yes, but we’re a nationwide chain, and we only handle ______! Dut: I shall have to satisfy myself of that! Rich: Well ______my headquarters, Madame, at any time. ______, in Somerset! Dut: Ah! I may be able to make it on my way back to Paris ______. Rich: ______! Dut: I would like to be able to take you at your word, but ______. He always insisted that one should have ______of the companies one is dealing with! Rich: Well ______! Dut: And that one should establish ______with the chairman! Rich: ______! Dut: Yes, he was a great man, my father! He built up the entire Dutoit pharmaceutical empire from nothing ______! You know, ______, Monsieur DeVere! Rich: Well ______! Dut: His greatest wish was that I should one day ______! But alas, it was never to be – until now, perhaps? Rich: Do I take it that ______of us handling the - Dutoit Peut-être brand? Dut: I er, I shall have to ______first! Rich: Madame, is this part of your usual - ______? Only in England we don’t like to mix er, ______! Dut: Something is troubling you, Monsieur DeVere! The thought of ______, perhaps, ha? Rich: Er, yes! Yes, ______! Dut: I see! Rich: Oh, no offence! Of course er, ______, it’s just that - I do have to ______! 3 Manor Born 3-5

Dut: But of course! ______from his wife! Rich: ______! Dut: I should very much ______! Rich: Yes, well, ______! Dut: ______! Rich: What? Dut: Well ______this weekend, n’est-ce pas? Rich: N’est-ce pas? Oh, yes, of course! Dut: I shall draw up a contract, and if I like what I see, ______, oui? Rich: Oui! Dut: You must take your wife ______! Rich: Oh, thank you! She, she always wears Peut-être! Dut: Oh, c’est magnifique! ______! Rich: Oh, no, this sample case will do fine! Dut: ______, this wife of yours! ______!

Aud: Oh, I see there’s another jumble sale for the hassock fund! Have they been round collecting yet, Brabinger? Brabinger: Not yet, madam! ______, madam? Aud: Mm, please! Oh, that decanter ______! Brab: I fear Mason’s have ceased delivery, madam! Aud: We have to ______, now, do we? Brab: We are also expected to ______, madam! Aud: Oh, well, just ______tonight, Brabinger- Brab: Very good- Aud: -in case ______! Marj: Coo ee! Aud: Oh in here, Marjory! You’re just in time for ______! Marj: Oh, _____! Aud: Thank you, Brabinger! Marj: I’ve come to collect for the jumble! Aud: Ah! ______, Brabinger? Brab: ______, madam! Aud: I’m in ______! Marj: Oh, come on Aud, ______! Aud: Well I know we’re supposed to live in a throwaway society, but I promise you, 4 Manor Born 3-5

Marjory, I’ve got ______to throw away! Marj: ______! Aud: Why don’t you ask DeVere? I’m sure ______! Starting with that concrete piece of Gruyère cheese out there! Marj: Honestly, Aud, you’re dreadfully philistine! ______, that will be known as the epitome of womanhood ______! Aud: Well if that’s what womanhood feels like to you, ______! Brab: Mr DeVere, madam! Marj: Oh! Rich: Good evening, Audrey! Aud: Richard, ______! Marj: Hello, Richard! Rich: Hello, Marjory! Aud: ______? Rich: Er, thank you, I think I’d like er- Aud: Sherry! ______for Mr DeVere, Brabinger! Marj: Richard, we were just saying this morning, ______! Rich: Well, ______rather a lot! Oh! Thank you! Brab: I’m sorry about the glass, sir – ______! Rich: Of course! Marj: I suppose it’s business ______! Rich: Well I can’t handle everything from here, unfortunately! Oh, I’ve just been negotiating for ______, with Claudine Dutoit! Er, she heads one of ______, the Christina Onassis of ______! Aud: Oh, so Madame Dutoit has been ______! Rich: Oh, Mademoiselle, actually – yes, but ______until Thursday morning, because ______with a fine toothcomb! ______, you see! Aud: ______? Rich: Yes, and with any luck I’ll be able to – clinch the deal and ______! Marj: Gosh, big business ______! Rich: Yes, there’s just one slight snag, and I was wondering ______! Marj: ______? Rich: Well, ______, actually! Erm, you’re going to think it ______to ask- 5 Manor Born 3-5

Aud: You want us to show this Dutoit person something of ______! Rich: It’s a bit more than that! This is erm, her letter ______! Aud: ______! Rich: Read the last sentence! Aud: “______”! Marj: ______! Rich: ______! Aud: Well it’s a perfectly natural mistake on her part! Rich: Oh, it’s not a mistake! ______! Aud: ______? Rich: ______! You see, at our last meeting she erm, well she propositioned me! Aud: ______? Rich: Well she’s at that – well, what the French call that certain age – when a woman’s at her best! Aud: I see! Marj: Oh, I say, ______! What happened? ______! Rich: Nothing! Aud: Nothing? Rich: No, well, with the, with the deal in the balance, I didn’t want to er, accept or risk ______, so erm, I did ______bit! You know, the little wife at home, idyllically happy, ______! Yes, it seemed like a good idea at the time! Aud: ______? Marj: That she’s been called away unexpectedly! Aud: Or that ______! Rich: No, ______! Aud: Well I’m sure you can hire one in London! Rich: Yes, in London I might have got away with it, but down here I need someone who ______, knows the people and who won’t put a foot wrong! So, I was wondering whether either of you ______! Aud: Pretend to be your wife? Rich: Yes! Aud: At the Manor? Rich: Yes! Aud: ______? 6 Manor Born 3-5

Rich: Yes! Aud: ______! Apart from anything else, ______! Rich: Well no more dishonest than selling ______with your name on it! Aud: ______! Rich: Well, we can put this on a business footing if you like! Aud: No, ______! Marj: Oh, I think ______! Aud: Why don’t you simply tell this – Mademoiselle Dutoit the truth? Rich: Well, if she found out I was lying about my private life, she’d be ______! My accounts, for example! We’re just about to sign, and there’s ______at stake! Marj: I’ll do it! Aud: ______, Marjory! How could anyone expect to get away with it? Rich: Oh, oh, it’s no problem – ______! Aud: Well where is she? Rich: I packed her off to London – ______! Aud: Well what about the staff? Marj: Oh, well, they needn’t know anything about it, ______! Rich: ______, Marjory? Marj: Of course, ______! Aud: Marjory! Marj: I think it would be a tremendous lark! I’ll say that ______or something, so that it gives me ______! Or ______? Aud: Marjory! Marj: Oh I think two nights would be a good idea, don’t you? Then I can ______! Aud: Marjory, do stop rattling on! Richard can’t possibly ______! Marj: Why not? He asked me, didn’t you? Rich: Yes! And ______, Marjory! Marj: Oh, gosh! Not at all, ______! Aud: ______, Marjory! What Richard needs is somebody who knows the house, ______! And the grounds, all the rest of the estate! ______! 7 Manor Born 3-5

Marj: Of course I could! Aud: No, Marjory! For one thing, ______! Marj: Well I don’t see ______! Aud: Well, ______! And for another thing, you are not a fforbes- Hamilton! Marj: Well the Frobishers ______as the fforbes-Hamiltons! Aud: Not at the Manor! Rich: Oh, please, please, I don’t want you ______! Aud: We are discussing our suitability for the job, Richard, ______! Rich: Sorry! Aud: Clearly I would be the more suitable! Marj: Well ______! Rich: The judgement of Solomon? No thank you, ______! Aud: This business footing you talk of – ______to that effect? Rich: Yes, of course! Aud: All right, I’ll do it! Rich: Well ______, Audrey! Oh, and to you too, Marjory! Marj: ______? Rich: Well, you certainly look young enough! ______, I mean! Aud: Marjory ______! Marj: Will I? What? Aud: Looking after Bertie for me!

Brab: What, madam, may I ask, is this? Aud: Brabinger, it’s ______! Brab: You poor madam! I had no idea!

Aud: Good heavens, Brabinger, just look at all this! Brab: It’s certainly different, madam! Aud: This house is part of Britain’s heritage! It looks like ______! Do you sit on that, or play the Posthorn Gallop on it? We shall have to ______, Brabinger! Brab: Yes, madam! Aud: ______? Brab: I couldn’t say, madam! 8 Manor Born 3-5

Aud: I suppose it’s ______to be a shaving brush! Let’s make a start, Brabinger! ______! Brab: Yes, madam! Aud: Now, the photos! Yes, now, put the one of me off to ______over there, and I’ll put this up here- now who on earth ______? Brab: ______, madam! Aud: What was wrong with Turner? See if you can find it, Brabinger, and put it back! Brab: Very good, madam! Where would you like ______, madam? Aud: Erm, we’ll have – let’s see – those two over there, and there’s me at Badminton ______! Royalty always impresses the French – ______! I’m beginning to feel quite at home again, Brabinger! Now, Mr DeVere will be back tomorrow, ______! We’ll start by removing the posthorn!

Aud: Oh, good afternoon, Mr Mason! It’s Mrs fforbes-Hamilton speaking – er, no, not from the Lodge, from Grantleigh Manor! Now Brabinger tells me ______! Well I’m ordering some things for Mr DeVere this weekend – for the Manor, yes! So I’ll send someone down ______, and then you can ______to the Lodge at the same time! Yes, I thought you might find that ______! Thank you! Goodbye! Rich: Hello! What are you doing with ______? Aud: Oh! ______, is it? Rich: Well surely ______? Aud: Well it goes with ______, and the piece of concrete Gruyère cheese outside ______! Rich: What’s Brabinger doing here anyway? Aud: ______! Rich: Now I thought I told you ______! Aud: Brabinger isn’t anybody! ______! Anyway, he’ll add a touch of class to the place – ______! Rich: Look, if you’re going to ______, I- Aud: Richard, Mademoiselle what’s-her-name is going to think that I’m your wife! Rich: ______! 9 Manor Born 3-5

Aud: She will also think that ______for the furnishings and the décor! Rich: Well I know it may not be to your taste, but ______! After all, ______! Aud: Yes, ______! Rich: But I do think it’s very sporting of you! Aud: Oh, thank you! I’ve erm, ______tonight – I thought your French friend ______, so we’re having baron de boeuf rôti Richelieu! Rich: Oh, I’ve, I’ve got a present for you, ______! Aud: Oh, ______, Richard! What is it? Rich: Well, it’s what ______are wearing – Peut-être! Aud: ______t! Rich: No, well it’s very exclusive! It’s a complete make up case! ______! Aud: Very brave of you, a man choosing a woman’s makeup! Rich: A husband’s prerogative! Oh, that must be Mademoiselle Dutoit now – I, I’d better ______! Aud: Oh, will you erm, ______? Rich: Oh, what’s that? Aud: ______! Rich: Oh, really, it’s not necessary, you know! Aud: ______! Rich: Oh, yes! Oh, all right! There we are! Aud: Thank you!

Rich: Welcome to Grantleigh! Dut: Thank you! Ah, alors, c’est magnifique! Rich: Yes, well, my wife and I are ______, and - she wanted this, so er – ______? Dut: She certainly has an eye for the moderne! Rich: Yes – well, why don’t you come in and meet her? Dut: Oh, yes – ______!

Dut: Oh! ______! Rich: Er – thank you! Dut: Isn’t that a Turner over the fire? 10 Manor Born 3-5

Rich: Er, no! It’s a Hockney! ______! Dut: You mean, ______, don’t you? Rich: That’s what I mean, yes, erm, please sit down! Dut: Thank you! ______! Rich: Yes! ______! It’s a particular art of hers! Aud: Ah! Mademoiselle, ______! Dut: Enchantée, Mrs DeVere! Aud: I’m so sorry I wasn’t here to greet you, but I’m sure Richard ______! Dut: Oh, yes! Rich: Yes – well I think I’d better go and see that your pilot knows – ______! Excuse me! Aud: Oh, ______, darling? Darling? Rich: Yes, darling? Aud: ______? Rich: I think so, darling! Aud: Thank you, darling! Dut: ______your beautiful flowers! Aud: Oh, thank you! A little lady ______to do them! She’s rather good, isn’t she? ______! Thank you, Brabinger! Dut: ______, you know! Your taste is impeccable! Aud: Oh, thank you! Dut: Especially in modern art! ______! Aud: _____? Dut: ______! Aud: Oh, that! Dut: Yes, your husband said ______! Aud: He did? Well, I erm, like to try and keep up to date! Dut: In everything, it would seem! ______! Aud: ______! And - milk? Dut: Yes, please, ______! Well it’s hardly clever, you know! One should be able to ______! Aud: You manufacture Peut-être? Dut: But ______? He wants to sell it in his supermarkets, and he’s particularly anxious to retail this particular product, because he says ______! 11 Manor Born 3-5

Aud: Tea, darling? Rich: Thank you, darling! (hums) Aud: ____? Rich: Of course, darling! Aud: _____? Rich: Darling, ______! Aud: Sorry, darling! Dut: ______, Monsieur DeVere! Rich: Ha, yes! Aud: Would you like a sandwich? Rich: No, ______, darling! Aud: No, ______, darling! You talk to Mademoiselle Dutoit! Rich: No, you talk to her, darling! You know I hate sweet tea! Aud: And ______!

Ned: I’m sorry, Mrs fforbes, I’m going ferreting tomorrow! Aud: Well I’m afraid the ferrets ______, Ned! Mr DeVere wants this done as a priority! And then he wants you to ______at the Lodge, and do the potholes! Ned: ______! Aud: No, Ned, you’re to fill them in! Ned: Er, I think I’d better have a word with Mr DeVere about this! Aud: There’s no need – ______! Ned: Oh! Well, ______, Mrs fforbes! Aud: Yes, I do! And while I’m here, ______? Ned: Oh! Very sorry I’m sure – er, madam! Aud: Thank you, Ned, ______! Ned: ______, she says! That’s for indoor staff – I’m an outside man! Er, what’s going on? Brab: ______, Ned! Ned: Oh! ______, Mr Brabinger!

Brab: Excuse me, madam! Where will you be ______, before dinner? Aud: Erm, ______, I think, Brabinger! Brab: Very good, madam! Rich: Darling! Oh, would you tell Brabinger to ______? 12 Manor Born 3-5

Aud: ______! Erm, yes, I’ll tell him, darling! Rich: Thank you, darling! Brab: Miss Frobisher, madam! Aud: Marjory! ______? Marj: I’ve come to see ______! Aud: Oh, ______! Oh, erm, Brabinger, Mr DeVere would like the drinks tray in his office, please! Brab: Very good, madam! Marj: ______? Aud: Rather too attractive, and French, ______! Marj: Oh, dear! Aud: Yes, you should see the makeup ______! Rich: Oh, that’s all right, Brabinger, we’ve decided to have drinks in here instead! Oh, Marjory, ______, Mademoiselle Dutoit? Marj: Oh, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you! Dut: ______! And you are – Marj: Er, I’m a, I’m a friend of Mr DeVere’s – and – Mrs DeVere! Aud: ______! She must feed her dog! Dut: Oh, ______? Aud: Yes, haven’t you, Marjory, at the Lodge? Marj: Er, oh, ______! Aud: Yes, that’s the one you have to feed! There’s a bowl of scraps under the draining board! Marj: Oh, well, ______, Mademoiselle Dutoit! Dut: Goodbye, but ______! Aud: ______! I’ll show you out! Erm, do the drinks, Brabinger! I’ll have my usual! Brab: Very good, madam! Qu’est-ce que vous voulez, Mademoiselle? Dut: Oh, merci! Campari and soda, s’il vous plaît! Brab: Campari, très bien! ______, sir? Rich: Oh, yes please, Brabinger! Brab: Oh, by the way, ______?

Dut: ... excellent, wonderful! Well, thank you both, it was a most enjoyable evening! I, ______! Aud: I’m only so sad we couldn’t find our ______! 13 Manor Born 3-5

Dut: Another time, perhaps! Now I er, really must go to bed! ______tomorrow, is that not so, Mr DeVere? Rich: Well I hope that we can ______! Dut: But of course! Goodnight! Aud: Goodnight! Oh, erm, don’t forget – ______, after breakfast! Dut: ______! Bonne nuit! Rich: Bonne nuit! Aud: Goodnight! Well, ______too! Rich: Just a moment – I rather want to ______!

Rich: Are you trying to make a fool of me? What’s all that rubbish about our wedding day and ______? Aud: Well I thought it provided a certain verisimilitude! Rich: And I wish you’d stop ______! When I sit in my favourite chair, I at least ______! Aud: It really was rather funny! Rich: Well ______if I don’t clinch this deal! Aud: Oh, don’t fuss, Richard! I’ll ______in the morning! Rich: Well I don’t want any more ridiculous stories about our married life! I’m not so sure ______was such a good idea after all! Aud: Oh well, ______, and you can go upstairs and ______! Rich: No, you can’t do that, Audrey! Aud: ______! Rich: Oh, please! ______! And, and besides- Aud: ______? Rich: ______! Aud: All right, I’ll stay!

Dut: The English countryside really is ______! Aud: Lovely, isn’t it? Dut: Oh, look – Mrs fforbes-Hamilton! Marj: Hello, Mademoiselle Dutoit! ______! Dut: It’s really delightful, yes! Rector: Good morning, Mrs fforbes-Hamilton! Good morning, Miss- 14 Manor Born 3-5

Marj: Good morning, Rector! Aud: Good morning, Rector! ______– bit of a hurry! Rec: Oh! Hah! Dut: Isn’t Mrs fforbes-Hamilton a charming lady! Aud: Oh yes, charming! Dut: ______!

Rich: It’s all settled, darling! We’ve agreed terms! Aud: Oh, good! Dut: And we thought you might like to see ______, since you had so much to do with it! Aud: Oh, no, no, ______to Richard, don’t I, darling? Rich: Yes, darling! Dut: Just as my father always used to say – “Business for the boardroom, ______”! Aud: Exactly! Dut: But at the end of the day, ______, n’est-ce pas? Rich: Erm, shall we er- Dut: I can’t tell you what a pleasure it has been to meet ______! ______! Rich: Yes – if you’d just like to sign that one- Dut: Er, we shall need ______– perhaps Mrs fforbes-Hamilton would oblige? Aud: Mrs fforbes-Hamilton? Dut: Yes, ______! Aud: Well, wouldn’t Brabinger do? Dut: Yes, ______! Poo: Oh, Bedrich, ______? He wants over seventy pounds, and ______! Rich: Mother, ______yet! Poo: Oh, London is not what it was! ______! Ah, Audrey, ______? Aud: I’m - I’m watching Richard sign a contract! Poo: Oh, ho ho, ______, is it? Even as a child, it was always Monopo- ______, Bedrich! Rich: Oh, oh, sorry – Mademoiselle Dutoit, ______! 15 Manor Born 3-5

Dut: Enchantée, Madame! Poo: How do you do? Rich: Would you excuse us a moment? Poo: ______? Rich: Shh! We’re just about to sign an important business deal, so ______! Poo: About what? Rich: ______! Particularly about Audrey! All you need to know is that ______! Poo: Oh, it is wonderful! Mmm! Oh, congratulations! I always said that ______! Rich: Mother, ______! Poo: Well ______? Rich: Oh, no, you’ve only ruined one of my ______! Aud: Mademoiselle Dutoit, I think my husband was trying to- Rich: Oh, don’t bother, Audrey! ______! Mademoiselle Dutoit, as you’ve probably gathered by now, ______! Poo: But ______! Rich: Oh, please, mother! In fact, I, I don’t have a wife at all – ______to get out of an awkward situation the other day ______! And then, of course, ______! Aud: And ______! Rich: I quite understand if ______! Dut: Certainly not! ______! Besides, you forget - ______, making money out of masquerade! It has been a pleasure dealing with a man ______! Now I shall sign! Rich: Well – Poo: Perhaps next time, if you wait – it will be ______! Rich: Right, all we need now is the witness! Dut: Did I not say that ______? Please! Aud: ______? Dut: ______! Aud: Oh, dear! I thought I was giving ______! Dut: But you were! You could have ______! And you were a perfect hostess! Aud: Oh, thank you! 16 Manor Born 3-5

Dut: Now I really must go! The solicitors can take care of the rest! Right! Goodbye Mrs – I nearly said Mrs DeVere! ______, you know! ______! Poo: Do I not keep telling him? But, ______? Oh, ho ho, of course not! ______! Dut: Goodbye, Mrs DeVere! Poo: Polouvicka! Dut: Pardon? Poo: I am Mrs Polouvicka! Rich: We don’t have time to ______!

Rich: That was a narrow squeak! Thank you, Audrey, you were wonderful! Aud: What? Rich: ______! Aud: Thank you! Rich: Audrey! Erm, ______! Aud: Mademoiselle Dutoit? Rich: Yes – ______! Aud: ______? Rich: Well, ______that – my statue! ______? Aud: I had it moved! Rich: ______? Aud: ______from my windows! Rich: Well who gave you the right to move things around on my estate? Aud: You did – ______! Rich: “and to grant all rights which exist by right of office, i.e., a wife’s prerogative”! Aud: I thought ______! Rich: “potholes, garage roof, grass cutting, fencing” – ______! Aud: Oh, that comes under ______! Rich: ______? Aud: Somewhere out of my line of vision, where it will be more – ______! ______!