It S Hard to Believe That 10 Years Have Passed Since That Day When One Sorry, Brutally

The leg-liftin’, butt-sniffin’ TrailDawgs proudly present

Stumpy's X-treme our 10th annual 26.2 mile run for pack supremacy 7AM Sunday, September 11, 2011 Newark, DE It’s hard to believe that 10 years have passed since that day when one sorry, brutally hung over TrailDawg uttered those fateful words, “Hey Stumpy! You should start a marathon!” Equally suffering from the toxic effects of Saturday night’s ethanol excess, Stumpy thought the moron had said, “Hey Stumpy, let’s walk back to the car and suck down another ice-cold barley soda.” Naturally, the only correct response to this was, “What a great idea!” Thus was Stumpy’s marathon born in the dim, damaged brains of old Dawgs in search of new tricks. Now everyone knows that you can’t teach old dawgs new tricks without a club (that’s why we formed the TrailDawgs Athletic Club), but fortunately, no new tricks are required for Stumpy’s IX. After all, we have already done it, like around 8 times before. So once again, Stumpy is hosting his patented leg-lifting, butt-sniffing, tail-thumping, crotch-sniffing TrailDawgs Marathon. The "course" (that’s what we call it) is an easy, overland ramble that is guaranteed to be a minimum of 26.2 miles, and seldom exceeds 28 miles. It will be vaguely the same as last year's “course”, except those portions that we forgot and those trail sections that our crack volunteers mis-marked. It spans 3 parks and 2 states, including gently undulating hills, several creek crossings, educational historic markers, single track trail, dirt/gravel roads, and a few level stretches where you can open up that dawgie stride. For those who like to run pavement, the trail crosses a few actual roads. In the past a few runners have mentioned minor inconveniences such as getting stung by swarms of angry yellow jackets; getting chased by rabid foxes; and finding fully-engorged ticks on their ticklish parts. We were hoping the state parks people would address these inconveniences, but of course they depend for funding upon the same General Assembly that refers to textbooks as “educational frills.” So the best we can suggest is that you picture yourself in a happy place with bright, breezy meadows and packed limestone pathways with pretty wood bridges. You’re on your own with those ticks. Race amenities include: a scenic racecourse with most of the required directional markings, a place to start, and a clearly defined finish where you can record your finish time, if you know it. Many finishers will receive a handshake from Stumpy himself. All participants who complete the event, or claim to have finished it, will receive an authentic and much sought after TrailDawgs Finisher’s Rock (accept no substitutes). Cash awards have never been distributed, but hope springs eternal. Numerous water stations have been designated, and we hope to actually have water at some of them. However, you should carry at least 20+ oz. of your preferred beverage in a refillable container, since the maximum distance between water stations may range anywhere from 5 to 26.2 miles. In prior years we had a trained masseuse giving free post-race massages, and she may be at the finish again this year. (Whatever he tells you, do NOT let Stumpy try to give you a massage!) No race amenities are guaranteed, but you will get more than you paid for. Our motto is, “It’s not a trail race if nobody gets lost.” You enter this race at your own risk, and are solely responsible for your own welfare and safety at ALL times. Don’t blame any race volunteer or organizer if you wander off trail, can’t find a porta-potty in time, run into trees, trip over rocks or roots, fall down, get bitten by God knows what, get run over crossing a road, drown in the creek, or otherwise injure your body or self esteem. The race course may include: dirt, bugs, water, dirty bugs, dirty water, mud, rocks, roots, fallen trees, muddy squirrels, dirty snakes, the toothless guys from Deliverance suggesting you make a noise like a piggie, and other low-down nasty stuff. Think of it this way: If even one runner completes the course without injury, they you could have done it too. If anything goes wrong, IT IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT. The act of starting this race, implies your complete agreement with the foregoing statement. Last year’s race was, once again, a huge disappointment for the organizers, because the weather was okay, runners could actually see most of the trail marks if they looked closely, aid stations had actual people handing out stuff, the rangers weren’t needed to “put down” any injured runners, and all the people who came out looking for a spouse or whatever went home with somebody, even if it wasn't who they arrived with. But this year we are anticipating overnight rain to wash away trail marks, followed by 100+ temps with humidity for the run itself; way more ticks, poison ivy and other fun stuff; aid station volunteers who'll get bored ridiculing exhausted runners and quit early; armed and hostile property-owners who will be ready for us this year; and various other screw-ups to make this year’s event way funner than last year's. Registration is free, simply visit raceit.com at this address: https://www.raceit.com/Register/?event=5938 It would be really swell if folks would actually let us know they're coming, like before they show up on Saturday morning. PLEASE REGISTER!

Stumpy has been making regular deposits into the Bank of Marital Bliss so that Mrs. Stumpy may feel inclined to host yet another pre-race pasta feed chez Stumpy the night before. BUT YOU AREN'T INVITED IF YOU DON'T PRE-REGISTER. Here is a candid shot from Stumpy’s VIII of a typical TrailDawg who unfortunately forgot the necessary paperwork before beginning the race, and had to eat fast food instead of the pasta feed. Stumpy's Marathon--Participant Waiver: I know that running a trail race is a potentially dangerous activity. I certify that I am medically fit and properly trained for this event. I acknowledge that the course will include dangerous footing, traffic at road crossings and other hazards, and I assume full responsibility for all risks I incur in running on it. I understand that such risks include, but are not limited to: injuries from falls, collisions with people and/or objects, heat, humidity, dehydration, getting lost, ticks, insect bites, poison ivy, physical exhaustion. Knowing these facts, and in consideration for being allowed to participate in this event, I hereby for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators and other claimants on my behalf, agree to hold harmless, waive my right to sue and exempt from all liability any member of the TrailDawgs, any county or state park agency or employee, the race director, any course official, volunteer, sponsor, or anyone else associated with this event, for any personal injury, death, damage or loss of property or other harm that I may suffer from this event. In plain English, if I get injured in any way by participating in this run, it’s entirely my own damn fault and I’m not going to blame or sue anyone else for it. BY MY SIGNATURE BELOW OR MY PRESENCE AT THE EVENT, I ATTEST THAT I HAVE READ, UNDERSTAND AND AGREE TO THIS WAIVER: Name: ______Signature:______Date: ______

Race Start/Finish Location: Main parking lot of New Castle County’s Middle Run Natural Area, near the end of Possum Hollow Road. See: http://www.traildawgs.org/dawgs_meeting_spots.GIF or http://maps.google.com/maps? q=newark,de&ll=39.715515,-75.730535&spn=0.010651,0.019538&hl=en Directions From MD, VA on I-95N: Take Newark/Elkton exit (last MD exit before DE toll) east into Newark. After ~3 miles, Elkton Rd. narrows and merges onto Delaware Avenue. Go through UD campus, then left at Burger King onto Chapel Street. Go straight through and out of town, Chapel St. becomes Paper Mill Rd., go ~2 miles up long hill and turn right at Shell Station onto Possum Park Road. Look for immediate left onto very narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign. About 1/2 mile in turn left onto long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area. Follow driveway to the end, park and run. Directions From NJ & PA on I-95S: Take DE I-95 exit 4 onto Route 7 NORTH. Go ~3 miles on Rt. 7 through any turns & traffic lights. Turn left onto Rt. 2 (Kirkwood Hwy). Go ~3 miles, turn right at Wendy’s onto Possum Park Road. At top of long hill, turn right onto narrow Possum Hollow Road at the Korean Church sign before you reach the traffic light at Shell Station About 1/2 mile in turn left onto long dirt/gravel driveway into Middle Run Natural Area. Follow driveway to the end, park and run. Local Accommodations (as of Sept, 2001):

Best Western Delaware Inn Red Roof Inn Fairfield Inn Newark/Christiana 260 Chapman Road (I-95&273) 415 Stanton-Christiana Road (I-95&7N) 65 Geoffrey Drive Newark (302) 738-3400 Newark (302) 292-2870 Newark (302) 292-1500 1-800-780-7234 reservations 1-800-THE ROOF reservations 1-800-228-2800 reservations Courtyard Suites by Marriott Comfort Suites McIntosh Inn of Newark 48 Geoffrey Drive 56 Old Baltimore Pike I-95 & Route 273 Newark (302) 456-3800 Newark (302) 266-6600 Newark (302) 453-9100 1-800-321-2211 reservations 1-800-228-5150 reservations 1-800-444-APPLE reservations Embassy Suites Comfort Inn Christiana Hilton Inn 654 S. College Avenue 1120 S College Avenue 100 Continental Drive Newark (302) 368-1000 Newark (302) 368-8715 Newark (302) 454-1500 1-800-EMBASSY reservations 1-800-441-7564 reservations 1-800-HILTONS reservations Sleep Inn Howard Johnson Hotel & Suites 630 S. College Avenue 1119 South College Ave. (896&I-95) Newark (302) 453-1700 Newark (302) 368-8521 1-800-SLEEP INN reservations 1-800-I GO HOJO reservations Be aware that several of these motels/hotels/inns may no longer exist. Things change in 10 years. I don’t even know why I have included this list, yet again, in this document. They have this new thing now called the interweb or some such. Use it. If you call me, that is what I will do while you wait endlessly. And then I will put you up at Ed’s Beds (hourly rates!) just to teach you a lesson.

This is an organized “fun run” with our friends--no fee, no prizes, no wimps, no whining. This is an authentic, deep-fried, certified and sanctified Trail Dawgs event (accept no substitutes!)... basically what we do every weekend with our Dawg friends. http://www.traildawgs.org/ Stumpy’s Marathon c/o Stewart Dotts 812 Branch Road Newark, DE 19711 [email protected] STUMPY'S MARATHON: ...because we can!