Okay Dad, Commencing Vengeance in 5,4,3,2,1 Desu

Slaughter 1 : Let's Rock

"Okay Dad, commencing vengeance in 5,4,3,2,1...desu."

Oops, I thought that out loud. I hate doing that because it makes me utter this annoying tic. This positively sucks. Anyway, the moon is bright, reflecting on the surface of the lake, the wind gently whistles in the trees, and the comfy house's garden is charming. It's a lovely night. Too bad something is ruining it.

"Hungry, refu."

"We'll soon be eating tons of candy, maggot-chan, techi !"

"Mr.Man will love us, desu."

An entire family of jissouseki, right in front of the door. They're of the mildly disgusting variety, just the run-of-the-mill type that's dumber than a bag of doorknobs but at least tries to put out a cute appearance. And right now, they plan on invading a house. How fucking typical. No respect for Mr.Men whatsoever. No wonder Dad was so sad. His story created a whole new level of disappointment, which he could happily experience every time he looked at the TV or in the streets. Yep, my Dad is the scientist who unwittingly created these disgusting little critters. He tried to correct his mistake ever since, and, well, I'm the best answer he came up with. I probably won't eradicate the jissou species. But I sure as hell am going to try.

The mother jissou, a reasonably sized adult, albeit smaller than me, took her youngest maggot in her ridiculous stubby arms, and began to reach for the mail slot in the door. I walk towards them, whistling. They hear me, and interrupt their endeavor.

"Huh ? What's that techi ?"

"A Mrs.Lady techi ?"

"Too small refu." "Who are you, desu ?" Asked the matriarch. "You're a very ugly jissou, Mr.Man won't take you as a pet, unlike us, desu."

I felt my blood heating up by 4 degrees. Her, prettier than me ? The jissouseki nerve is legendary, but to this point ? I crack my knuckles, thankfully present in my fully humanoid arms.

"Shut the fuck up, you unbelievable piece of dogshit, desu. All you and your hellish progeny are getting is a ticket to where you belong, desu."

"Yes, that's right desu ! We're going into the house of the loving Mr.Man desu !"

"Goddamit, you're so dense you can't even understand an awesome line like this, desu !"

"Awesome refu ? Is it tasty refu ?"

Oh, fuck that. I catch one of the maggots by the tail.

"Not here refu ! Belly better, please rub, re..."

It finished its "fu" inside the skull of its juvenile sister. None of them survived the incident. None of the panties present in the area remained clean. The family just turned blue from fear. A lot of Mr.Men enjoy to maim their kind, they are susceptible to die from even the common pigeon, and even fellow jissouseki are a menace. They did not seem to like the idea of discovering yet another predator. The mother quickly shifted gears though, and as it often happens to jissou when faced with immediate death... She threw a tantrum.

"YOU STUPID BITCH DESU ! WHY KILLING MY BABIES ? I WILL KILL YOU DESU !"

I opened my arms and sighed heavily. Why do they always do this ? Even Mr.Men, known for their irrationality, rarely provoke an immediate threat. But jissou ? They do that all the time. Well, at least I'm only two times larger than her, I'm not as obviously dangerous as a Mr.Man. She charges, head first, yelling furiously. I step aside at the last moment, and kick her stubby legs. She trips comically, showing her panties now filled to the brim with green shit. Before she can get up, I step on her.

"You suck on so many frigging levels, desu." I punch her right in the mouth. She now begins wailing, and her children come rushing towards me, faces red from rage. The maggots were following them, more out of curiosity than real anger. Just what I was expecting. I take my miniature weapon Dad's friend has made for me. Well, "weapon" wouldn't normally be the proper term. It's just a lighter that was shaped like a rifle. You wouldn't believe how much damage a single flame can do to your average jissouseki.

*Woosh*

"TEGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

In a single sweep, I ignited three sets of fabric. jissou clothes are very thin, and burn easily. That, of course, ended the heroic charge abruptly.

"I prefer jissou when they are crusty, desu."

The mother was struggling under my foot, as she watched her daughters slowly becoming living torches. It was quite the spectacle, really. As their clothes were burning away, you could see their pallid skin bubbling underneath. They react to fire just as if they were plastic. As the flames reached the face of the younger child, her cry of pain, already straight out from a horror film, really began to sound otherworldly. The harelip was melting, and the tongue didn't fare any better. You couldn't even recognize the token "techi", it was just a string of unarticulated cries enhanced by a bubbling sound coming from the young jissou drowning in her own melting flesh. The other two had this dumbfounded look. You know, tongue hanging out, eyes wide open, purple-ish blue covering the upper half of their faces...They were watching a nice preview of what was going to happen to them, and they weren't sure of how to react. I swear they could have said "Am I cute techi ?" as a pathetic result of their weak brain going Blue Screen of Death. The eyes of the melting jissou popped out, making her go "Trrlleeee?" before collapsing, face first onto the gravel. Goddamn, this shitstain died in mere twenty seconds from a lighter flame, and it wasn't even a larva.

"S...such cruelty desssuuuurg..."

The mother went into shock. I guess she wasn't wild after all. All undomesticated jissouseki of this age have seen much, much worse than this simple immolation. She began foaming at the mouth while shivering uncontrollably and emptying what was left of her bowels. I stepped away, and she didn't even try to escape. How the fuck can such a useless creature strive, let alone infest the whole world ? Oh, right. The lightning-fast pregnancy. Her left eye was becoming red. Thank God I can't get pregnant that way. I heaved a sigh, and left her alone for the moment, going past the two other children that were just done being cooked. The maggots were still here. Most of them anyway.

"Big sisters are too loud, refu. Onee chan has curled up, refu."

"S...Scary, repyo..."

"Hungry refu."

Three of them died from sheer terror, and already their siblings were planning on eating them. A goldfish has a larger attention span. And, in this particular case, a larger lifespan as well. One particularly oblivious maggot looked at me, and rolled on its back.

"Belly soft and squishy, pl..."

I whacked it with the edge of my hand.

"How's that for a belly rub, dumbass, desu ?" Shit, that sounded particularly silly. "Raaah fuck you Dad, why did you have to hardwire that shitty habit into me desu ?"

At least, my exclamation got the attention of the remaining maggots. Green stinking shit was pouring out of the larvae's bare asses. I wanted to waste them really hard, but I had to leave some witnesses. Instead, I frightened them some more until they had the brilliant idea to actually get the fuck out. Back to the mother.

A dozen of "refu", "tettere~" and "punipuni" were to be heard near the unconscious piglet. Now to have some massive fun. The mother was still going at it. I, however, didn't want to make such a mess that it would ruin the beautiful garden of Mr.Man. So I tore out the temporarily red eye. In addition of the "OROROROROOOOON" that ensued, something amusing occurred. I heard several little "bangs" inside the womb. Apparently, you shouldn't mess with the birthing process of a jissouseki.

"De ? DEE ?"

The little belly expanded. The interruption of the maggot-forming process seemed to have kick-started some kind of chain reaction, although I don't have the slightest idea as to which. This gave me an idea. I picked a twig nearby, and planted it right in the middle of her vagina, blocking the influx of amniotic shit that was bound to happen.

"What's happening to mama, refu ?"

She was becoming a ticking time-bomb of foul-smelling guacamole, that's what. In fact, she was becoming a ticking time-bomb really fast. That mysterious chain reaction seemed serious. That would stain the flowers without a doubt, so I had to do something quickly. I find that in most cases, a good kick solves everything.

She burst at the impact of my foot, instantly turning into a slime rocket. She flew through the air in a high-pitched noise, leaving behind a big trail of shit garnished with dozens of gruesomely mutated maggots, surrounded by two trails of red tears. They can still cry without eyes ? Didn't know that. When she ran out of gas, she stayed in the air, wondering what had happened, and screamed a horribly deformed "DECHAAAAAAA" when she realized that gravity wasn't going to let her go just like that. With a wet "splosh", the nasty package fell into the lake, when she put up the last fight of her life, flailing what little of her was left intact outside the water. Apparently, she attracted some big fish, since she disappeared suddenly from the surface. Luckily, the trail of shit and mutants followed neatly the gravel alley, sparing all the flowers. I am awesome.

That left the newborns, who didn't even move. The only ones who had were too occupied to check if fellow maggots with ten eyes taste good to escape. I crushed the red eye that I still had in hand, and poured it onto the head of those cannibals.

"Mama's eye : So tasty it'll make you burst from joy, desu !"

"Refu ? REFUREFUREFUREFUREFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuu"

This wail is simply priceless. Quickly, I threw gently the pregnant maggots into the lot. They were twitching desperately, hoping to shake of the weird feeling that mysteriously engulfed them. Their siblings were watching innocently, having no idea of the impending danger.

"Onee chan makes funny dance, refu !"

The pregnant maggots began to grunt. I smiled. At 2 in the morning, the normally quiet garden went Michael Bay. One maggot burst. Then two. Then three. The explosions weren't that violent, but for a fragile newborn maggot, it was ground zero. Guernica. That chopper scene from Apocalypse now. One larva got its insides reduced into paste when the eyeball of the first happy young mother (too bad she miscarried) struck its belly. Sadly, no amount of rubbing will ever repair that. One that attempted to comfort its unfortunate sibling got projected into the air when it exploded, and landed on the head of yet another, embedding its face into the gravel. The funniest, though, definitely was that one grub that, upon impact of a severed head, vomited the integrality of its insides like a particularly susceptible tube of toothpaste.

I was half laughing, and half singing Hand of Doom by Manowar. Yeah, I'm not a Mrs.Lady but I can still appreciate art, especially art that awesome and fitting to mindless jissouseki rampages. My skirt was utterly ruined, but what the hell, it was worth it.

That's when the door behind me opened. Crap.

"What the hell has happened here ?" Said the Mr.Man in his fifties, still in his pants. "And what the hell are you for that matter ?" "Me ? A successful experiment, Mr.Man, desu. These low-lives were planning on invading your home, desu. Don't worry, I really made sure your flowers got nothing, you'll just have to replace the gravel desu." The poor Mr.Man was flabbergasted, probably more because of seeing a beyond weird jissou like me than because of the massacre. Good thing, I didn't plan of staying too long. I can run pretty fast, and I was already in the bushes before he could answer.

That was the first rampage of many more to come. I hope the various witnesses will be reporting this. It would really suck if my claim to fame was me being cute and everything that jissous were supposed to be, rather than me being fucking metal. Oh, and my name ? ...I'll have to think of that, actually. For now, I'm just Project Transcended Living Doll. Slaughter 2 - Eugenics of fear

"Is this where weird onee-san lives, techi ?"

"Yes, it is, desu."

I close the door behind the jissouseki nymph. I made her follow me to my hideout without violence or coercion of any kind. A simple promise of candy was all it required. The stupidity that made them so annoying was helpful sometimes. It was a regular house near the forest, far from the nearest city. The Mr.Men who were living there in the past sadly died from a plane crash one month ago. I used Dad's bank account to buy it after my escape. You wouldn't believe how awkward it is to conclude a real estate deal by phone and trying to hide the desus. The furniture was for Mr.Men, but I can handle most of it. The feral child began tugging at my skirt.

"Now you give candy, techi ! You made promise, techi !"

I can't believe how fast the little shit dropped the disguise. Normally it gets at least a day for jissous to go from seductively shy to aggressively demanding. Maybe she was used to this little game.

"Sure, come with me in the basement, desu !"

She did so, even trying to run past me to the promised pile of candy. Was she fearing I would take some ? Egoistic bag of puke.

"Where is candy, techi ? You said there would be candy, techi !"

"The thing is, jissou chan, you ARE the candy, desu."

The kitchen knife hacked down her right arm cleanly.

"Te ?"

There goes the left arm. Then the two legs at once.

"TECHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !" I didn't even let her spout the insipid threats that were sure to follow. I taped her mouth, carefully making sure no crap would stain my shoes, tore out her clothes and hair, and left her gaping wounds uncauterized. Even through the tape, I could hear her wailing. Fortunately, the basement was quite deep into the earth, and no amount of screaming could be heard from outside. After that, I dragged her to the place where she would remain until her death. Maybe you could call it "The baby-shitting chair". Yeah, that sounds about right. It was a hollowed plastic chair surrounded by several apparatus. Most of them are means of restraining, but there was also the tube connected to a distributor of jissou shit. I seated the little monster, restrained her, and put the tube inside her mouth. Now she'll get to live, whether she likes it or not. Aaand the finishing touch. I take a pin, and prick her skin just above her left eye. An absolutely terrified look showed the gremlin finally understood just how fully fucked she was.

A muffled "OROROOON" resonated into the basement as the green orb turned red. I opened the cage under the chair. It was the first element of a quite vast network of cages, which I patiently made over the last week. It could handle about 40 little jissous. And it was going to see a lot more than that over the years. I took the four limbs, and returned to the living room. I was kinda hungry. Jissouseki are a repulsive species, but for something that shits so much, it sure tastes good when roasted.

As I brush my teeth, I find myself looking at my reflection, and it saddens me a bit. I'm not the perfect Suiseseki doll Dad wanted. I'm certainly better than jissouseki, of course. I am humanoid, with roughly the proportions of a 16-year old Ms.Lady, but with the size of a 10-year old one, and have a realistic set of brown hair. However, it's obvious I was made from the original flawed model, instead of started from scratch. Even with Dad's new investors, that would have been too much money and effort. My clothes are green, my ears are pointy, my lip is curved -albeit in a cute way, not unlike a cat- but it's the round, beady mismatched eyes that gives me away the most. They are almost the same as those of my horrid little prototypes. I have eyebrows though, that makes me look significantly less retarded. The other thing is that my investors convinced dad I shouldn't look like Suiseiseki too much. With the jissou infestation, the character has drawn quite a bit of scorn, which could have made me the next generation of abuse toys. So, while my clothes have the exact same tint, enough to make them look like the token green dress at first glance, their shape is that of the ever popular schoolgirl sailor uniform. It's more practical to fight anyway, and it can always be replaced.

The biggest differences I have with jissouseki are psychological. I stole my project design files with me when I ran away, so I know exactly which elements of my personality were written by Dad in my genetic code. It's kinda creepy, to say the least. For now, let's just say that if external sources hadn't made me into the bashful tomboy I am, along with an goddess amongst jissou haters, I would be a lovely pet. Of course, right now I don't think many Mr.Men would want me...

Ah, shit, here I go, sulking again over this. Yes, this is among my designed personality traits. Enough, let's begin my project.

"Tettere~!"

"Punipuni, please rub refu !"

"Where is mama, rechi ?"

There are many variations in Jissouseki appearance, especially since the beginning of industrial processing, but among the "normal" ones, you can observe two main extremes. At the bottom of the spectrum, you have the ugly ones, with mouths shaped like exactly like A's, not a lot of hair, tiny eyes that look awfully void of any intelligence, body larger than the deformed head, and increasingly pig-like as they grow up. And at the top, the cute ones. Their mouth is more of a triangle, with rounder angles, they have rounder faces, bigger, shinier eyes that aren't too far apart, slightly more hair, and more toddler-like proportions. They are still dumb and egoistic, but at least they weren't an eyesore. The child I caught was more of this kind of strain. The maggots and thumb-chans were honestly cute. That wouldn't save them, of course.

They noticed me as soon as I came in. About thirty of them, the mother had been busy. I ignored their pleas for candy and belly rubs as I checked if everything in the cage network was ready to be Hell for the little fuckers. You see, I know I can't kill them fast enough. So I have to find a way to kill them massively without using any means that would harm Mr.Men. And I know for a fact that jissouseki can inherit acquired traits. Don't ask me how, but children of highly-trained jissou tend to be less retarded than average. And finally, maggots and sometimes thumb-chans can die out of fear. So I want to experiment if they can inherit fear. The fear of me. If this experiment succeeds, I will strive to literally breed jissou worldwide to fear me to the point of cardiac arrest. It's a shot that's longer than a lightyear, I know, but that's the only plan I have for now. And if it fails, well, at least I will have had a shitload of fun.

"Hello, little ones, desu." "Hello, weird onee-san ! Do you have a nice master who can give us lots of candy, rechi ?" "No, I will give you lots of candy, desu !"

"For real refu ?"

"Give us, refu !"

I opened the way to the other cages. They ventured curiously, little tongue hanging out. They all saw the big batch of candy, and collectively squealed.

"Wait, before you go, I have to give you a special shower, desu !"

I sprayed them with a solution some of the researchers developed back at my first home. They suddenly backed off a little, afraid it was poison. It wasn't...A conventional one.

"What's this, repyo ?"

"Just something to clean you up. Now you can go to the candy, desu !"

And so they did, as soon as they were sure no unusual feelings appeared due to the unexpected shower. Fortunately, the thumb-chans went ahead, and spared the maggots of getting stepped on in the rush. They chirped at the sight of the candy bunch. There was almost a hundred in there, just imagine what they were feeling as they munched happily at the spiked balls of sugar. They cried from joy, thanking me in a torrent of "tefu"s. I waited a minute to announce them the big news.

"Oh, and one more thing. Exactly one candy out of two contains a slow-acting lethal poison, desu."

They extremely funnily turned blue in less that a second. I chuckled uncontrollably as they looked silently at each other, wondering which half of them had drawn the winning ticket in the unbearably painful death lottery. Useless to say that the amount of shit sprayed at that moment was nothing short of copious. Conventional torture wouldn't cut it. Just pain won't do. The level of fear I desired required extreme psychological abuse. It had to be biblical.

"I don't want to die, resun !" I saw two sets of maggot eyes going grey in a sudden hiccups.

"W...w...why do you do this, weird onee san, you jerk, repyeeen..."

"Because I absolutely hate each and everyone of you putrid pukestains, desu."

They shat some more, and I went, laughing, to the Hi-Fi system resting in the back of the basement. The unfortunate jissous had about two minutes to live now. Power metal boomed in the dim gray place, further adding to the already extreme confusion of jissou babies. The young mother was flailing her stumps frantically, shedding tears as she was trying to escape in vain, not even able to move her head. She heard what was happening to her progeny, and yet she couldn't even lower her gaze enough to see them. The death of her babies would belong to her imagination alone, no doubt magnified by screaming insanity. The belly of some maggots began to pulsate.

"Re? REFEE ?"

Said maggots begin wriggling on the floor, in a seizure. I fast forward the song to the best moment, the ending, and begin to sing along while playing air guitar.

"Another is born, another shall fall ! This day grubs will DIIIIIE desu !!!! Come on, everybody with me, desu !" Chanted I as the poison claimed its first victim, transforming it into a living fountain of puke, streaming acrid stench all over the place. When others followed it, the cage began to seem like an incredibly fucked up rave party. The fear of being poisoned by the torrents of vomit made them run in all directions, yelling their freaking lungs out. All the little jissous were rocketed through all the nine circles of Hell every second, leaving trails of terrified shit all over Lucifer's throne.

"Glory and fame, blood is our name, Souls full of thunder, hearts of steel ! Killers of men, of warriors friend, sworn to avenge our fallen brothers, desu !"

As the thumb-chans fell victim to the poison, A maggot chewed its way through the candy pile. Dumbass. I walked to the mother, grasping her tear-stained, shivering head in my hands, and sang the main chorus right into her face.

"Sons of the gods today we shall die Open Valhalla's door Let the battle begin with swords in the wind HAIL, GODS OF WAAAAAAAAAAR desu !!!!!"

She went into emergency baby-crapping mode at "gods". I quickly took a bucket, and placed it under the chair. These would be my evening snack. The last poisoned thumb chan expelled her last bowels out as the stupid maggot began soiling the candy pile from inside. Out of the thirty babies, less than nine were still alive. If deeply psychologically scarred for life counted as alive, of course. None of them dared utter a thing. One thumb-chan was quivering in a corner, obviously into shock, sitting on her shit-filled panties, that got higher than her legs. I waited patiently. After a slaughter, all jissouseki end up doing the same thing.

"Candy dangerous, refu."

"Must find something safe to eat, refu."

"Onee-chan not moving, refu."

The shocked little thumb-chan weakly reacted as one of her sisters began to chew her arm. We got ourselves another winner.

"Rebya ?"

His brain exploded. I smirked.

"Don't even think about surviving by cannibalism, desu. The thing I sprayed you with before hasn't killed you, but it did turn your flesh and shit into poison, and this one is fast, desu."

They shivered. Now they were beginning to understand just how unlucky they were to be born in my basement. They couldn't survive without taking the risk of condemning themselves to death. Furthermore, I wouldn't even allow them to fear themselves. Only me.

"There is hope for you though, desu. The last jissou standing will be healed, and given a good home, desu. But you see this video camera ? It records you permanently. If one of you hurts another, I tear her apart, desu. Win by luck, intelligence, and endurance. Goodnight. Desu."

I closed the door, and put the lights off, letting them under the unblinking gaze of my video camera in night vision mode, taking their cooing brethren away to the fridge. Slaughter 3 – To Hell and back, if necessary

Let's make one thing perfectly clear. Creating a jissou killer wasn't the main focus of the Transcended Living Doll Project. They wanted the ultimate pet. That implies several things for me, most of which are a royal pain in the ass when it comes to leading a crusade against jissouseki. Take, for instance, being absolutely unable to harm Mr.Men, both by way of physical weakness, and by way of mental conditioning. They took into account a pretty wide definition of "harm", too. I can't hit Mr.Men with anything other than my fists and never in the fragile parts. So my assaults could potentially be lethally cute, but certainly not painful. I can't remove property from their house without permission. Finally, I can't let their property be destroyed or sullied. I can only derogate to that when it's a matter of life or death either to me or to a Mr.Man, or, in the case of the stealing and destroying, when I give something equivalent in return. And even then, I'm force-fed guilt by my D.N.A. So, knowing all these conditions, tell me : I'm in an industrial plant breeding average pet-class jissouseki. I want to kill all the broodmothers. How the fuck am I going to do that ? Well, I'm just thankful you Mr.Men have invented insurance.

I may have the strength of a 10-years old, but I've been made stealthier and more agile than a cat. Why ? Well, avoiding abuse at all costs was another important focus. So entering the facility, breaking into the main office and finding the insurance documents without being noticed were easy. I smiled when I saw that the biggest guarantee was terrorism insurance. This kind of contract, which was pretty meh in the past, boomed after the jissouseki outbreak. All companies dealing with my prototypes are potentially subject to PETA activism, or more rarely, really motivated abusers. All in all, such incidents didn't occurred that much, but more than 80% of these companies contract terrorism insurance anyway. That makes it a very lucrative type of contract for insurance companies, who aren't afraid of increasing the fees -and thus guarantees- through the roof. That meant I could raise hell here : I gave them something equivalent. Indirectly. Hey, that counts ! Of course, I can't do that too much or insurance companies would begin to piss their pants. Anyway, I checked that all CCTV systems were fully functioning. They needed proof of terrorism, I needed advertisement. Everyone's happy.

It was 10 in the evening, but there were still many Mr.Men working or guarding the place. I had to play it 47 style. I positioned myself on the catwalks over the main breeding warehouse. Below me was a red-eye extravaganza. All twelve of the big jissou mothers presented on the company's website were comfortably installed in birthing pans, and were attended to by Mrs.Ladies. Real intelligence shined in their eyes. They must be treated really well. The information on their website was right : They were indeed selecting the jissou larvae carefully. The few mutated maggots were put into a trash bin, likely to be shipped to food processing. The others passed through a cage which was likely to be a basic intelligence test, impossible to solve by lambda maggots. Normally this would ensure at least 19 casualties out of twenty, but I guess eugenics must be a important company creed, because a quarter of them succeeded. They worked by waves of babies, in order to decrease inconvenience and pressure for the precious mothers. So I waited for the next wave, and readied my other custom weapon made for me at the lab. A miniature, dismantlable, scoped, bolt-action flashball rifle. Oh, yeah. Even if a jissou killer wasn't the main focus of my creators, they all unanimously decided that me and my progeny should be able to defend our masters against jealous and/or feral jissouseki. Makes sense. Anyway. I stopped breathing, aimed carefully as red dye was applied to the last mother's eye...

"DESHA !"

"Boom eyeshot, desu."

The peculiar event of my first massacre took place again in this birthing environment. I shot another foam bullet.

"Hey, what's happening to Poppie and Marge ?" asked the first Mr.Ladies to notice the cries weren't because of labor pain, and that their left eyes were unusually muddy.

"Something hurts in the eyes, Mrs.Lady, feel weird, desuuun...", complained the first victim as the third red eye silently burst.

I had to take down as many eyes as possible before being discovered, but my hands started to shake. I knew how to shoot by instinct, but my actual training was shoddy at best. My fourth shot missed, hitting the jissou in the forehead. This time, the flashball wasn't hidden by the viscous eye remains. Crap, crap, crap ! The jig was up. I ran away to hiding before they could react. Sure enough, they sounded the alarm as soon as they saw the torrent of cancer-ridden maggots that flowed into the warm water. The civilized, delicate mothers went into shock at that sight. It didn't take a supercomputer to deduce that their career, resting entirely on shitting out less shitty maggots than average, was kind of fucked. Hell, without a left eye, it would be a pain to make them give birth to anything at all. The other mothers got on their legs, now unable to give less of a shit about their children's safety. The employees began to herd them to safety. I finished putting my rifle into my backpack with a jissou head on it, an quickly made my way to the floor by jumping on several objects, including a video camera that didn't seem to happy with my weight. Pussy. Just on my left as I landed, was a fuel barrel. Oh my god, I'm sure I'm going to regret this, but I really need all the confusion I can get. I make the barrel fall, throw a regular lighter in it, and run to the group, slaloming between the cages of confused jissou children. Shortly later, another barrel explodes, kick-starting a serious fire. A cold feeling engulfs me. I grunt, without even thinking about it : "What have I done, desu ?" I hope from the bottom of my heart that this terrorism insurance is worth its salt. At least the alarm is already on, the arson won't take any Mr.Man by surprise.

I quickly put on the green hood that was habitually resting behind my shoulders, and took my trusty little knife. Okay, it wasn't so trusty before, but it sure is now. Fortunately, the guards have arrived, and, upon seeing the fire, prevent the Mrs.Ladies from doing something stupid like trying to save the jissous. The 8 broodmothers left have trouble running, thanks to the maggots pouring out of their shithole, and littering the path, just like the little stones in this Hop-o'-My-Thumb story, only a lot more retarded. Time to go Silent Assassin on their asses.

Near the exit, safe from the fire, the female employees cheer the mothers that clumsily try to escape.

"You're almost there ! Don't give up girls !"

"We won't, desu !"

And they're right, at this pace they will make it to safety. I'll just have to block them...if these shitty childish muscles would accept to pump up a little ! Rraaaaaaaaaaaaargh ! ...Success ! The little scaffolding falls right on their paths, crushing the fastest one, apparently the elder. The Mrs.Ladies shrieked in horror the jissous called for help. Were these obese cumstains really that valuable to them ? Another pang of guilt. Yeah, fuck you too, Dad.

The adult jissouseki figured they just had to find a way through the network of cages. Not all that hard, right ? Maybe not, but the hunt had begun. If I had the luxury of an mp3 player right now, I would most certainly listen to this shit right there : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVsjLPF5JaY .

"Over here, desu !" Said the bigger jissou with a confident voice. Most would have lost their shit in this situation, not them. They were smart, no doubt about that. But enough to escape me ? You best be fucking joking. Around them, terrified cries of maggots and children resonated all over the place. What a beautiful background sound effect. Most were just fearing for their lives, but a few already had their little microcosms on fire. Clean little beds reduced to ashes. Toys slowly melting into amorphous blobs. Little books for high-class jissou children burned. And, of course, the clothes, prettier than average, turned into wicks for their unfortunate wearers. The number one creed of high-end jissou is to control their bowels. They were obviously mortified about not being able to uphold it. All the children in the warehouse couldn't expect Hell to be any worse. In this cacophony of pain, I quickly catch up to the jissou mothers. They gather their efforts to move a cage aside, halfheartedly apologizing to the crying maggots inside. Another one is scouting up the surroundings. I run behind her, place my hand over her mouth, and slit her throat in less than a second. I then drag her body out of sight of her companions. She's king size, but still a head shorter than me. Plus, jissouseki notoriously lack in density. No sweat. "The path is clear, desu !"

"Jilla, come with..." She stops when she sees no one behind them. "dee ?"

"What's wrong desu ?"

"Jilla has disappeared, where desu ?"

"We have left behind four of us already, desu. We can't abandon her, desu."

I use my two hands to stop me from laughing. They already showed their lack of qualms about a survival-of-the-fittest policy, why stop now ? Are jissou programmed to become dense at the worst possible moment ? Yeah, go ahead, you rotten snotballs. Why don't you disperse while you're at it ?

"Okay, but we stay together, desu."

Nods of approbation. Damn, this species always manage to show a golden wisdom nugget in their ocean of cerebral shit. They begin their march. I leave "Jilla", blue from panic, flabby arms risen into the air, and foaming at the mouth, emitting nothing but bubbling sounds while trying to warn her companions, only a meter away. I pick up a small rock and throw it in another direction. Predictably, the group of the seven dwarves go toward it.

From the Mr.Men's side, there was nothing but apprehension. These mothers were the ones to save. Maybe the firefighters would come soon enough to rescue most of the children, but without the big intelligent Jissou, they would lose years of work. As from the mysterious attacker, nobody claimed to have seen it. And if, amid the cages, they could sometimes catch a glimpse of me, all they could make out was a little humanoid with green clothes and a pointy hood. Strictly nothing out of the ordinary. They would see me clearly only well after I was gone, on the CCTV recordings.

"Jilla ? Where are you, desu ?!"

I watched the group from behind a barrel of nutritive water. Even now they kept self-control. Kind of amazing, actually. It piqued my curiosity. Thirty seconds later, one of them strayed a little from the group to search behind a scaffolding. I ran away to this place out of view from the others, and took a poisoned candy out of my pocket. I doubted she would be stupid enough to go eat it in such a critical situation. So I did the impossible. I sneaked behind her, and... I force-fed a jissouseki candy. Can you claim you did, Mr.Man ? Well ? Can you ? Tee hee hee. So anyway, I fled as the mother began screaming in agony as her insides were melting. That alerted the others, who came right away.

"IT HURTS DESUUUN !"

"What...what happened, Natty dee...?"

"Someone made me swallow this...cradd...grarg..."

She exploded. At long last, the 6 surviving elders went blue. I laughed audibly, in the most sinister way I could muster.

"Wh...what should we do, desu ?" Said one in a weak voice that desperately tried to sound calm. Silence ensued, letting the cries of help of their children add to the...spice of the moment.

"MUST ESCAPE, DEEESUUUU !" suddenly yelped one as she ran towards the exit. Her luck had ran out : She passed right in front of me. I caught her as she did so, letting just enough of her be visible by the others and not to be seen myself.

"Who are you, desu ?! Let me go, or...DEGY- !"

I caught her chin by inserting my fingers into her mouth. The pointy teeth that appeared when jissouseki are in a shocked state did little to prevent me from ripping. Her goddamn. Lower jaw. Out.

"HEHUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOO !!!"

I pushed her back and disappeared once more into the labyrinth of cages. Spectating maggots had difficulty breathing, and the last five survivors were shaking uncontrollably. Well, no fucking shit. Their comrade was walking towards them, wailing vowels and wobbling like a miniature zombie. Jissouseki tongues really are too long for their own good, but this situation magnified this problem. The tongue that had lost all support was now hanging below the little ribbon on her bib, pathetically flapping upwards every now and then. Her panties were filling up like a green balloon, and little chunks of puke dropped from her exposed esophagus. To think that less than fifteen minutes before, she was a respected matriarch, well fed and living in comfort. Seven down. Five to go.

They all fled chaotically, desperately screaming for help. Most of the cages were burning now. Many a child jissou was banging her cage's walls, screaming for help, her hair already on fire. This was the moment the firefighters came in. The Mrs.Ladies begged them to save the mothers, and they ran into the increasingly hellish labyrinth. Of course, the adult jissouseki saw that, and began to run towards them. In a flash, I slit the throat of the one in front of them. They yelled even louder, and used their last strength to continue running. They evacuated the fear-shit the had held up for so many seasons. They were the queens of this place, and yet, eight of them had bitten the dust in so little time, and they didn't even got see their attacker clearly. Misfortune was to be the ninth's killer. A burning cage collapsed, making the white-hot metallic mesh fall right down on her head. She became a living waffle in a matter of seconds.

"S...Scary, dessuuuuunnn !!" Wailed the oldest of the small group. Her pants-shitting terror, however, calmed down when she saw one of the firefighter kneeling down to pick her up.

"Calm down, you're safe now. Jeff, Greg ! Go extinguish the flames ! Paul, pick another of the big jissouseki, the employees said they were very valuable !"

"I'll escape by myself, lead the way, desu !" Said the third surviving matriarch, who indeed seemed able to run by herself.

I had no choice now. I took my knife, wielded it by the tip of the blade, and ran to the level of the Mr.Man who was apparently the leader to of the squad. I let out a terrified scream. Much to my relief, he looked behind him. Maybe it was another surviving breeding jissou, after all ? That's when I outran him, and jumped between two cages that were just in front of him. He was still looking away. The jissou in his arms was not. She watched me flying briefly through the air, like an angel in this inferno. Maybe she found me to be a truly enthralling sight, because she didn't even react when I threw my knife in mid-jump, before disappearing once again among the burning jissouseki zoo.

"Bah, it was nothing. Hang in there, you brave jissouseki, you'll soon be..."

His protegee was squirming just moments ago, but now...He looked at her, just to be sure. It turned out his comforting words were addressed to a jissouseki looking at him with dull gray eyes, a little butterfly knife lodged in her forehead. He immediately stopped, and let out a big "WHAAAT THE FUUUUCK ?", which did absolutely nothing to calm anyone down. Not too far to the right, the jissou held by the Mr.Man named Paul panicked at the realization that even His arms weren't safe. Her struggling surprised the firefighter, and she fell on the ground, at which moment she thoughtlessly ran into the hellish maze once again.

"NO ! COME BACK HERE YOU IDI..."

Too late. The jissouseki was looking in disbelief at my hand piercing her chest. These little scumbags are really easy to pierce, even with your bare hands. She let out a final, agonizing wail as I tore her heart out. The two firefighters were simply stunned. At the exit, the employees figured something was going even more wrong than they feared. Suddenly, as the shining sign of hope , the last surviving Jissouseki matriarch, Bertha, arrived in the main alley, where everyone could see her. She was running as fast as she could towards the exit.

"Almost there, desha !"

Fuck my Silent Assassin rating. I had to finish it into the open.

What happened next, recorded on a employee's, cell phone, ended up on YouTube. (Also, this was when the climax of the music mentioned earlier began. What ? This is important !)

Bertha was running, curtains of flame behind her, countless cries of condemned jissou children ringing through the air. Time seemed to slow down. Then, at the top of a cage behind the crying jissouseki running for her life popped out a weird being. She seemed like a jissouseki at first. But, as she pounced on the big broodmother, the typical green hood came out, revealing beautiful brown hair, without any bald spots. Another explosion shook the building, letting out a big set of flames in the background. The attacker was on the jissou in no more than a second, and yet, much more seemed to elapse. Bertha, curious as to why everyone was looking above her, turned her head around... And got her frail neck snapped by a punch from the mysterious being. Curiously, as everyone was dumbfounded by that sudden event, the attacker seemed to blush, as if fearful of this many people, and ran back into the inferno. Slaughter 4 – And then there were none (1/2)

Goddam, goddamn, goddamn ! Since my stunt at the breeding factory, I was laying low. Of course, there's no such thing as overkill when it comes to jissouseki, but still, much of what I did back there was unnecessary. Also, insurance or not, I felt terrible for at least four days. That's not why I'm angry right now, though. No, it's because of my experiment. It's the tenth generation now, and nothing even slightly noticeable so far. Unless we're talking about the amount of tears involved, in which case I swim in the good results ! ...I need a shower.

Ten little jissous tried their best to shine One burned too bright, and then there were nine

In the dark basement, ten little green creatures were waiting silently for a solution to come all by itself. After all, there wasn't much to do. They were in almost complete darkness, save from a little red dot somewhere in the air. None of them had any idea of what that was, but they knew one thing : It didn't have candy and wasn't too much into rubbing bellies. Since the terrible event after their birth, six of them had died from the candy. The other ten got lucky. Normally, they would have eaten like pigs indiscriminately, but even a tiny maggot's brain could vaguely understand the weird jissou's warning. Mainly because they are so language-oriented. Had the warning been written up somewhere, or if they had to figure it out by seeing the others die, it would have passed right through their spongious heads.

However, as dangerous as they were, these candies were particularly thick and rich. They weren't the "colaciones" jissouseki adored so much for some reason, but they were tasty enough. With such food, the jissous would soon be able to transform into their bipedal forms. In fact, they were about to, when a strange "beep" could be heard in the dark.

"Refu ?"

Something fell into the cage, and rolled to where the maggots were gathered.

"Something's here, food refu ?"

"Weird smell, refu."

Their olfactory senses didn't detect any food, but still, they had to take their chances, right ? So they crawled towards the unseen visitor. One of them didn't have the -short- time of hesitation its siblings had, and was already licking the thing. It was tasteless, and felt weird on the tongue. Suddenly, a loud "pssssht" could be heard. All the maggots stopped, frowning because of the noise.

"Too loud, refu !"

And then, the thing began spouting what looked like the fires of hell to the infants. A fountain of red, bright sparks was flowing through one of the extremities. It lighted the place rather well, and the maggots, in safe distance from the thing, crapped themselves in pure amazement. As for the curious jissou, well, it had the misfortune to be at the wrong place.

"HOT REPYAAA !"

The others watched him being slowly burned by the fiery particles. Each of them tore away a little more of the maggot's green clothes, and pushed it away against the cage's mesh. Gradually, it lost its skin, then its organs, to the flare. It was screaming beyond what a maggot normally can. When it finally ended, most of the grub was scattered out of the cage. The basement went dark and silent again.

Nine little jissous were afraid to be late One was way too slow, and then there were eight

About an hour later. The other maggots quickly forgot about the incident. While you would say that the lighting of a giant flare right before your eyes would be something to write home about, all that was in their mind was "sleepy". Outside, the night was falling, and triggered an event in the jissou's internal clocks. They understood instinctively what was going to happen when two long, white fibers starting going out of their nostrils, and enveloping them like a cocoon. Which it was, actually. They breathed a sigh of contentment, closing their eyes as their cocoon solidified. Finally, they could experience a peaceful slumber, interrupting for a while the hell they were living. Save for one.

"What's happening to onee-chan, repyo ?"

The confused larva was gently headbutting its closest sister, having no idea that the same thing happened to all the others as well. Maybe it hadn't eaten enough. Maybe it was a birth defect. Maybe it was just a night overdue. Either way, this particular maggot hadn't begun its metamorphosis. So it wandered around. Its sisters didn't emit the pheromone that signaled they were shitting their pants in terror any longer, so it regain composure, and began its quest for hidden caches of food in the dark. Soon enough, an unknown fragrance came from a corner of the cage. This triggered the instincts of the little grub, which immediately crawled towards the source, all senses fired up.

"Hungry, refu !"

There was a very small opening. A kojissou or an adult certainly wouldn't have been able to crawl in there. The maggot didn't think twice about it, and went right trough it. It was a little tunnel, and a really sweet smell was coming from the exit. Our little hero recognized this smell by instinct : There were colaciones right ahead ! It excitedly crawled as fast as it could. It did have an unpleasant feeling, but it flat-out ignored it. Its underdeveloped nerves couldn't inform it of the full extent of what was going on. The maggot only wondered why it didn't seem to be able to keep up the speed, as if something was draining its strength. No matter. Even if it did understand, there was little to do now. A good chunk of its insides was on the floor behind him. Somewhere along the way, a blade was coming out of the floor. It had cut the maggot's belly right open, and the poor fucker didn't know it. Another thing it didn't know is that the colaciones at the end weren't only safe to eat : They contained a dose of jissouseki healing solution, this expensive thing you can import from japan...Why, you ask ? Maybe the host is into survivors of the impossible, who knows ?

"Almost there, re...fu..."

The maggot was quickly losing the battle, though. Its organs continued to bleed out of the cut in his belly, and so was its last strength.

"Cold, re..."

It finished the race a dozen of centimeters behind another maggot's desiccated corpse.

After my shower, I yawn, and go to the kitchen. In a cage (unequipped with traps) are chirping seventeen fat maggots. I fed them especially for what's going to come. They enjoyed the last two days immensely. You could hardly say that their lives suddenly qualify as good, though. And I frown upon giving jissouseki any kind of pleasure, even if it's for seeing their face when they realize they've been betrayed. But without their days of happiness, My evening wasn't going to be so enjoyable. I've always made my own meals, so now I have quite the collection in jissouseki recipes. This one is the "Jissou-tandoori wrap-ups". Simple, but effective. Time for Cooking with Trance-chan ! First step : Relax the meat.

After feeding your jissou maggots nothing but mango jelly for two days, something they won't complain about, remove their clothes, and immediately put them all in warm water. It's to bathe them, not to drown them, so don't use too much liquid. I insist on the immediately, you don't want to let them stress for now. As soon as they're in the water, they should be extremely happy and forget their clothes. Also, this will make them empty their bowels. You'll typically need to change the water three times before their insides are clean.

Second step : Prepare.

You should take a lot of tandoori and mango chutney. Adjust the quantities of both to suit your tastes in spicy food. Also have sets of flour tortillas. Take one for every five or six maggots you have. Spread the tandoori and the chutney on them.

Third step : Cook the jissous.

You'll be taking the frying pan for this. Be aware that this cooking will require your attention the whole time. Don't heat it too much, you want to brown the jissous while leaving them intact. Take extreme precaution ! These critters are very sensible to heat and will burn very fast. Don't let them : Use your tools often to prevent them to attach to the pan. Also use oil for this purpose. This is when most of you will enjoy the recipe the most, as the maggots will die after 90 seconds on average if you heat the frying pan right. Their cries of agony and despair will fire up your appetite for sure ! For added effect, store the other jissous where they can see the death of their brethren.

Fourth step : Assemble and enjoy.

The multicolor tears that are sure to be shed are guaranteed to make your meal colorful. Great for parties ! Take the maggots, put them in the tortillas, wrap them up like cones, in such a fashion that the maggots head will be visible around the two-thirds of the wrap-ups. Heat for one minute in the microwave, and serve !

Eight little jissous tried to fly to the sun One fell into it, and then there were seven

The next day.

The cocoons broke. The jissous had doubled in size, now being humanoid, and having about the size of a fist. They woke up one by one, rubbed their own bellies and looked around. Surprisingly, the basement wasn't pitch black anymore. None of them commented on that, but the relief could be felt in the air. Then, gasps of joy and surprise came from the eight of them. There were four energy candies in the middle of their cage.

"Hope that's not poison, techi..."

"So hungry, what do we do, techi ?"

"Where is onee-chan, techi ?"

The last question was lost in the heat of the discussion. The metamorphosis had preserved them from starvation so far, but they had to eat, and fast. And as dangerous as the candies from before were, all the jissous remembered that they were particularly nourishing. Thus, two of them went all or nothing, and munched a little of the delicious treat. Their was a petrifying silence. Then, three minutes later, one of the brave jissous fell on her back, panting heavily from relief.

"It's good, techuun..."

The eight jissouseki cheered and ran for the safe candies.

"Wait ! There aren't enough, we must share them, techi."

One wanted to protest, but when she saw her siblings staring at her, she changed her mind and nodded quietly. So they split each of the four candies in two, and they cried from this simple joy. There was a commotion, however. The smallest of the kojissous was apparently denied her part, more because of the general confusion than a particular culprit. She protested, but, well, there wasn't anything that could be done now.

"Now that we are big, we must escape techi !"

They all nodded, and looked around them. Aside from the door leading to the half-poisoned pile of candies, another gate was open. It seemed to lead to some sort of chimney, covered by white cloth. Of course, this looked perfect for their new endeavor. It was almost going to the ceiling. They went there. The mesh was just spaced enough to allow stubby jissou arms to take grips, and the cloth was on the exterior. They could climb to freedom ! They pitched into it right away. And how easy it was ! The thing was stable, there were no apparent threats, and if the top seemed closed at first, there was a hole in which a jissou child could easily pass through. They all began to chirp, happy that freedom was so close.

"I go ahead, techi !" Declared the fastest as she entered the hole. She was now on some sort of platform, and the very top of the chimney, uncovered, was just above her head. Suddenly, she heard something clicking as said platform lowered a little. Something fell right above her. Climbing on the platform triggered a mechanism that made the chimney's lid fall into place. Furthermore, this lid had a little cylinder that plugged the hole she came through.

"Te ?"

Through the mesh, she could see a bright halogen lamp light up just above her. It was large, and emitted a very hot light. The other kojissou stopped climbing right away.

"H...hot, techi ! Turn off, stupid lamp, techi !"

The lamp, of course, proved uncooperative. She tried to push the lid open, but the mesh was already heated by the lamp. She screamed.

"Help me, techaaaa !" Cried the prisoner as she laid down to escape the fiery light. The streams of red and green tears were evaporating as soon as they were out of the eyes.

"N...no, we can't ! We save ourselves, techi !" Answered one, who began to climb down, quickly followed by the others. Jissouseki, after all, are never to be outdone in the selflessness department. On their way back, they heard their unfortunate sister desperately bang on the plug with increasingly weak punches. Her wails didn't falter, though. As she began to suffer from an acute hyperthermia case, her accusations made less and less sense.

"Get out, you stupid plug, techa ! And you too, stupid metal thing, stupid, stupid, techi ! Shut up Mr.sun, you don't have candy, they're too hot, techa !"

Their sisters safely went back on the floor, where they observed in awe the fate of their sister. She had gone silent now. Was she dead ? Will the lamp continue to shine ? All those questions were answered by a "flop". The seven sisters went "Te ?" and looked at their feet, where a piece of skin was now lying. The halogen lamp was so hot, it was peeling away its victim's skin. Up there, the victim was still alive, but resembled one of those models from biology class...minus the eyes. They were next to go redecorate the floor pop-art style.

"Ma..ma...help...tegyaaa..." said she before falling face down, imprinting the hot mesh onto her whole body in a grizzling sound. Below, one kojissou received a chunk of melting skin on her hood. She felt the heat, and let out a surprised yelp, but the green cloth protected her. They promptly decided to get the hell out. -

Seven little jissous fought with stones and sticks One met divine wrath, and then there were six

After that traumatizing episode, the jissouseki went back at what they do best : Searching food, consequences and family be damned. However, no new gates were opened, and soon, under the pressure, a recent grudge rose from the surface.

"See what you've done, techi ?! There's no more food, and you took my part before, techi !" Barked the jissou who got unlucky in the candy sharing before. The others looked at her, silently, but in an obviously "so what ?" state of mind.

"I'll starve, you idiot sisters, techi !"

"You were too slow, techi", answered one laconically before returning to its activities of doing nothing worthwhile whatsoever.

"What ? Cruel sisters, I'll beat you, techi !" yelled the victim before rushing to the other one, "fists" shaking. Unfortunately for her...

"The metal crusade will conquer all Our bonds will be stronger, see the infidels fall Surrender your soul to the gods of steel, desu ! In the blood of the fallen, the ene...What the fuck, desu ?"

The figurative marks of anger you can often see in the mangas were showing on PTLD's face. Her smile had become a grin as the angry little jissou continued to fight, oblivious of the tormentor's sudden arrival. Several seconds later, she was up in the air, caught by the air by a giant, evil and thoroughly weird jissouseki.

"CHUWA !" yelped the kojissou as she saw the almost human-like, and very angry, face.

"Why can't there be at least a generation who remembers my warning ? You are so retarded, it spoils my fun, desu. More importantly, you could have made the experiment fail, desu." Ranted PTLD as her little prisoner shat all over herself and weakly apologized, a tone of anger in her voice nonetheless. "It is not fair, techi ! They are the ones who stole my candy, I'm starving, te..."

"You think I give a flying fuck, you cancerous maggot, desu ?" Yelled the tormentor as she took a badminton racket resting on the wall. "You just jeopardized this generation, desu. You're a rotten enema out of a down syndrome affected rat, desu !".

She threw the kojissou in the air...

"WELCOME TO DIE, DESU !"

...before smashing it with the racket. The frail body didn't resist even one fraction of second, and the jissou child became french fries, which fell on the floor in a wet sound.

"And tell Lucifer to give you extra treatment, desu."

She left, letting the six survivors shivering, but also somehow happy that she came right before they could counter-attack. Slaughter 5 : And then there were none (part 2 of 2)

Six little jissous were happy to be alive One left to celebrate, and then there were five

Predictably, the murder of their fourth unfortunate sister failed to make a lasting impression on the kojissou bunch. After all, compassion was pretty much a human innovation, and it wasn't even the decisive factor to mankind's success. Moreover, why bother with fraternity when your species can make ten children at a moment's notice ? For an artificially engineered creature, the jissouseki kind certainly had what it takes to make itself self-sustainable.

Shortly after the Transcended Living Doll's departure, a gate opened to another part of the maze. The little gremlins, having a limited amount of options, unanimously chose to explore the new area. They weren't exactly in for a surprise, though. It just lead to another run-of-the-mill cage, and no candies were to be discovered in it. Frustrated, the juvenile jissous tried to throw a tantrum as per tradition, but their feeble minds couldn't find a culprit, a task they were very skilled at under normal circumstances. As a result, they pretty much wandered. The candies they ate before would satiate them for several hours, so they weren't all that restless.

Pretty much everyone knows what Jissouseki does when they see humans, when they are in pain, or when they are fearing for their lives. But what about when they are bored ? Well, as shocking as it may sound, it's actually pretty uninteresting. When satiated, the jissouseki merely play with whatever is in range, and tend to be pretty mild...as far as property isn't concerned. You see, jissou only perceive threat when food is lacking, or danger is plentiful. When nothing's going on and they're not hungry, the jissou brain pretty much shuts down until new food, or the possibility there could be some, is perceived. Thus, if they don't actively search nutrients, they do wreck whatever they think can hold some, as they don't frown upon extras. What did you expect ? It's a species that literally relies on shitting thirteen babies before dying. There is no logical reason they would try to innovate during their free time if this basic plan works. But as there wasn't anything to wreck in the cage, the little monsters just sat and waited.

As uneventful as the last hour was, a door finally opened, leading to inside a black box. No candy fragrance came out of it. The jissous reacted naturally and promptly ignored the new opportunity. Ah, how jissouseki's stupidity can save them sometimes ! Nearly three quarters of the traps mankind can think of are way too smart for your average kojissou. It normally would make the jissous fall prey to the remaining quarter, but it was more often than not a matter of pure randomness. Such was the case with the fifth sister. As soon as she entered the box, the jissou felt some kind of string come into contact of her leg. Nothing dire...just enough to make her trip. The door shut behind her, and a little lamp lit up.

"Why are you here, stupid thing, techi ?!" Shouted the child, hitting the wire with her arm, convinced of its evil intent. She didn't stop before half a minute. Then, she started to search food. And in that regard, she seemed to be in luck. At the center of something that looked like a hamster wheel, lying horizontally on the floor, was a small pedestal-like thing. On it was displayed another one of these energetic candies. The kojissou hastily climbed the fence to get into the wheel, bliss gleaming in her eyes. She put the whole sweet in her mouth, and happily munched away.

Then she noticed a sound. It was coming out of a big black thing. There were weird tones at the beginning, but quickly, a Mr.Man's voice could be heard.

"Yeah I...I got to know your name"

"My name, techuu ?" Replied the critter as she was striking the ever popular cuteness pose. "I don't have one, Mr.Man, but if you take me as a pet you can give me a cute name, techi !" In true jissouseki fashion, she ignored what the voice said while she was talking. Thus, the next verse appeared as a reply for her tapioca brain.

"All I know is that to me, you look like you're lots of fun. Open up your lovin' arms, I want some, want some !"

"Yes, I am a fun pet to play with, te!" The jissouseki was now in full human-seducing mode, regardless of the absence of an actual human beyond the voice. As she began to get out of the wheel, though, two things made her stop her endeavor. Firstly, the human's voice and the accompanying sounds were getting a little too loud for her fragile ears. Secondly, the wheel had imperceptibly started to move.

"What's happening, te?"

"Well I...I set my sights on you. And I, I've got to have my way now, baby !"

"...stop it, Mr.Man, you're too loud, techi..." Weakly said the jissou while trying to cover her ears. The wheel she was in was definitely rotating now. Granted, there wasn't a giant foot descending upon her or any other kind of immediate threat, but nonetheless, she clearly could sense that shit was about to go down. She tried to flee, but as soon as she reached for the top of the wheel's side, the powerful music made her cover her ears again immediately. At this instant, she lost her only chance.

"Open up your lovin' arms Watch out, here I come !"

The world was moving at an increasing speed, and the sound was now at a level that would even be unpleasant for humans. For the juvenile jissou, it was just painful. It also didn't help at all that her stubby paws could not cover the entirety of her large ears. It was nothing, though, compared to the feeling of sickness that was rapidly growing inside her guts.

"You spin me right round, baby right round Like a record baby, right round round round You spin me right round, baby right round Like a record baby, right round round round"

"Stop it, STOP IT, TECHA !" The world was indeed spinning around her, giving her one hell of a headache. She couldn't move anymore because of the centrifugal force, and she was basically just hoping that the disembodied voice would stop being such a meanie.

"It is not fun, techa ! Stop it, stupid Mr.Man, techa !"

Her face turned blue, and spasms shook her. She vomited, staining the entire box with bits of green slime. She felt so sick that she removed her paws from her ears, consequently worsening her state. The unfortunate jissouseki kept on puking, letting out cries of pain every now and then. She couldn't get any grasp of what was going on anymore. Slowly, her left eye was turning red, adding fuel to the fire. After one hardly contained wail, and with the help of the centrifugal force, the jissou child quite literally threw her bowels out. In a single instant of clarity, she could see something, among the spray of red-stained green which was projected at top speed towards the walls. A little crystal. Her crystal. It shattered upon impact, and the jissouseki only had one second to review her whole -short- life...

"Te ?"

The sound of her exploding was lost among the beat of the song.

Five little jissous had found wood and ore One became a smith, and then there were four Outside, the remaining half of the contestants clearly heard that something was going on. But when all the ruckus ended, none of them had even moved one inch to help their sister. Silence reigned for a while, before a door to another cage opened. They all rushed in without hesitation. Whimpers were to be heard as, yet again, no food was on the floor. Instead, there was a rather large quantity of rubble. Nothing dangerous, even for jissous : Bottle caps, plastic wraps, coins...But nothing even remotely edible either. They thought about calling the mysterious Mr.Man they could faintly hear singing through the box, when a chocolate-y fragrance taunted their hunger-driven nostrils. It was coming from above a white box. It was much too high for the jissous to reach the top. However, in all their stupidity, jissouseki never showed they lack the knowledge that shit can be stacked. Food would be all to easy to protect otherwise. And so began the heartwarming tale of the green goblins who, after forgetting half of their sister died gruesome deaths, worked together to get the chocolate.

Usually, in a collective endeavor, Jissouseki follow the elder. However, they were all born at the same time, so that wasn't going to work. So, can they suddenly grow some manner of cooperative spirit in times of need ? Looks like they can, if each of them knows damn well they won't be able to get the candy alone. Partial alliances, and conquest strategy, however, does seem to fly over their heads. It's either on or off with these little bastards. Anyway, they firstly pitched into gathering everything near the box.

"Candy is going to be good, techi~n"

"We will be happy family, techi !"

"Mr.Man will be impressed, techu !"

When they were finished, there was a pile of rubble of about three quarters of their size. Sadly, it wasn't enough to reach the top. The next logical step was to help the others to climb, while staying behind. It took a while for the jissous to find such selflessness in their hearts, as you could imagine. Fortunately, one brave little soul did demonstrate it. She climbed the pile, knelt and put her hands forward, forming a rudimentary ladder.

"Thank you, sis, techu~n !" Said another one as she merrily went to seize the occasion. She could successfully climb, and she saw a little basket hanging from the cage's top, containing 4 pieces of white chocolate. We will never know if the jissou was going to steal it all for herself, braving the consequences that were sure to follow, or if she was indeed set out to follow her sister's kind heart, for the top of the box was made of thin paper. In a gasp, she fell right through it. "A...Are you alright, sis, techi ?"

"Yes, I am, techi. There is a weird thing here, but...Teee ?"

Silence.

"What is it, techi ?"

"RRRRRRRRRRRNNNNMMMMNGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHH"

This unusual wail suddenly came out of the box. The four jissouseki outside copiously shat their pants upon hearing it. They had no idea what was going on in there. All they could hear was the unintelligible plea, which strangely didn't sound muffled, like something has suddenly impaired the green goblin's ability to talk. As they got the hell out of this place, one could faintly hear the otherworldly scream cross-fading with munching noises.

Four little jissous arrived at the sea One left to sail it, and then there were three

At this point, they were hungry, scared and desperate. It's understandable that they consequently became rather agitated. They restlessly observed their surroundings, aware than anything could come up next. There were only two doors left unopened. Neither of them were revealing even a hint of what was behind it. They were like the gates of Heaven and Hell, except than, well, they probably both led straight into the very bottom of the latter. Nevertheless, all they could do was waiting for them to open. And the one on the left did, less than ten minutes later.

This time, they entered carefully. A small passage led to a plain white plastic box. A very sweet odor came from it. The jissouseki chirped without even thinking about it. They forgot all their carefulness and rushed in. To their delight, there was an entire pool of red jelly with a very thick fruity odor. They instantly knelt to take as much jelly as they could. They couldn't care less if there was poison now. It's fortunate for them it wasn't. Better yet : It was solid enough for them to stand on ! The appeal was formidable : So much yummy food they could walk on it. They shat their pants in contentment, promptly soiling their new paradise.

"So happy, techun !" "Weird jissou-chan didn't lie, there was hope, techi !"

"We all won, Te !"

"Food is so good, techun..."

No dark lining came into sight. The jelly pool pretty much stayed as it was, not showing any kind of threat to the four little jissous. They all agreed to stay here : There wasn't any danger, food was plentiful, there weren't any reasons to struggle anymore. With cries of joy, they stuffed themselves to sleep.

The following morning, each of them checked if their sisters were okay before engaging in another day of hedonism. A mere four hours later, they had eaten half of the fifteen centimeters of jelly, which had lost most of its solidity, and green shit was everywhere, although they did try to let out most of it in one corner of the box. All this eating was enough for them to discover something was under the thick layer of fruity goodness. It looked like a very fluid honey. It was the one who showed kindness earlier that found it while digging.

"What's that, te ?"

"More good food, techi !"

One of them tried the substance. She emitted a loud sigh.

"De...delicious, te..."

They all consequently reached for the hole in the jelly to get some. It was indeed very close to honey, maybe mixed with some caramel or toffee. At any rate, it was only second to the mythical colaciones in their book. They didn't notice the slightly putrid note in the otherwise mouth-watering aroma and taste. Maybe they should have. One of the four sisters got a little too eager to get the most fluid she could on her arms, lost balance, and fell into the newly discovered feast. She let out a yelp of surprise, and casually asked for help when she noticed she didn't reach the bottom of the box with her legs. She was in the way of the honey thing, so the others agreed to help her... But as soon as one began to support the fallen's weight, the jelly began to dangerously wobble. She backed off immediately as her face turned blue.

"What is going on, te ? Help me, techi !" "T...too dangerous, tee..."

The other two tried as well, but with the same consequences, only worse. The weakened jelly began to roll to the bottom of the well they had made.

"Fine, shit sisters, I will get out myself, techa !" This claim, however, was wishful thinking. Getting out now was like trying to climb a pit of dry sand while swimming. Her pointy teeth came out as she began to curse everything in sight. She thrust her body upwards furiously, trying to get a good grasp of the elusive walls. But the more she did that, the more bits of jelly fell down onto her face.

Slowly, but surely, she depleted her stamina, and got smothered under the delicacy. Soon enough, the well was filled up. The poor jissouseki was now trapped under it, like someone under a frozen lake.

"I'm sorry, help me, techaaaa !!!" Yelled she at her sisters while barely maintaining her head above the syrupy fluid. Unfortunately, they had already gotten out of the box. When she realized she was on her own, the jissou came with a cunning plan : Eating the fluid before it could drown her. Go for it, jissou-chan ! Two liters of strongly flavored water are no big deal ! I'm sure this mean PTLD will be impressed !

"Yes I -glurb- will, Mister narrator man, techi ! And then -swallow- I'll be a beloved pet, techi !"

I'm sure of it ! Okay, doing good here, already five mouthfuls. You're lucky it's so delicious ! Hey, what's the matter, jissou-chan ? Why are you stopping ?

"Leg felt something, tee..."

Oh, that ? Don't let it bother you, it's just your aunt who lost at the exact same game you're playing right now.

"TEEE ? What is go...arglbchi !" This moment of shock cost her her focus, and she swallowed a bit more than she could handle at once. She coughed, lost whatever cool she had left, and began to choke on the savory liquid, struggling with increasingly less success to stay at the surface.

"HE-grblgr-CHAAaaa..." Large amounts of green slime corrupted the honey as the poor little jissou died one of the most unpleasant natural deaths known to man. She tried until the end to escape her fate, but the liquid filling her lungs wasn't the kind of competitor that likes to fuck around. Searing hot pain overwhelmed her chest, and she couldn't help but do a last, deadly breath. She then took her eternal sleep, by the side of a rotting jissou head that was left here after the last generation's demise. Don't cry, jissou-chan, the most important is to participate ! ---

Three little jissous became like me and you One swelled with great pride, and then there were two

Well, so much for paradise. But even if the solace proved temporary and dangerous, they did, from then on, possess a safe and reasonably large source of food. They still were knee deep in shit, but it was better than neck deep : At least you can maneuver. After a long -by jissou standards- debate, they decided to go all out, and try to open the last door themselves. It was quite hard since it was a sliding one without a handle, but when they finally succeeded...Wonders were waiting for them.

It was a cage for high-class pet jissous. A green carpet covered the floor, on which various toys could be seen. There were also a large bed, clean toilets, an ashtray filled with water, a bunch of candies and, most important of all, five pink jissou dresses. If you're not some kind of hermit who never leaves his cave in the Himalaya, you had the opportunity to notice that jissouseki absolutely freaking love clothes. No matter how old, a jissou who gets her clothes torn off will complain and cry about it, even if her children are being slaughtered right in front of her eyes. Conversely, give her a new dress, and she will sing from joy. It's also true to say that dresses that aren't green are the most defining feature of a high-class jissou, labeling her as a beloved pet faster than you can say "De!".

The little beings ran to pick the dresses, and changed into these frantically, discarding their shit-stained dresses into the toilets. After that, they looked at each other with amazement. Their new outfits were nothing but plain jissou uniforms, save for the color, but that was sufficient.

"We are so cute, techu !"

"Yes, techi ! Last time was just an accident, weird jissou-chan really loves us now, techun !"

They celebrated their housewarming party by eating a few candies, and merrily singing lyric-less songs. The mere idea that this place could be booby- trapped never occurred to them. The only thing they realized was that something was peculiar about their dresses. Sure, they looked normal, but they were too solid not to be manufactured by man, instead of harvested on the naturally pink jissous bred by some cosmetic companies. Secondly, there were some sort of wires inserted into the fabric. Nothing too uncomfortable though. They all decided being cute held priority over being safe, so they kept them.

And it wouldn't be a problem for any of them, if the smallest of the three hadn't had her attention caught by a something in a corner of the cage. It was a white spray can. There was horrible handwriting on a label that spelled "shower". It intrigued the kojissou, who called one of her sisters. Neither of them knew what the writing meant, and they concluded that it was probably indicating that playing with the thing was fun. The discoverer pushed the pump, and was sprayed by a translucent liquid.

"Tickles, te !" She gleefully declared. Her sister came to try, but was instead asked to push some more while the other submitted herself to the tickling shower. She accepted under the condition that she was up next, and did so. The showered jissouseki didn't bother removing her dress while she played in the aerosol spray. Of course, you would say that wasn't exactly wonderland, but someone who has only know terror and death since their birth tend to enjoy the simplest things.

Finally, she sat on the floor, panting between two laughs. Her dress was wet all over, and was now adhering to her skin. That didn't bother her, though... Until the wires inside the fabric began their work. Something in the spray was forcing the normally flexible things to straighten. And the fabric, now glued to the jissou's skin, followed them.

"Chuwa !"

The exhausted jissouseki looked at her prized outfit peeling the skin off her belly. She tried to stop it, but had difficulty moving her arms. Slowly, her lower body bloomed like a mushroom, revealing her flesh underneath.

"H...Help me, teecha !"

The sister that helped her didn't react like the thought she would, though. Turns out in this kind of situation, jissou can get really materialistic.

"Stop bleeding, stupid sister, techi ! You're dirtying weird jissou-chan's beautiful home, techi !"

Indeed, a puddle of both blood and horrified shit was forming below the umbrella-jissou, and it was, in fact, quite dirtying. To tell the truth, the infuriated sister's accusation was probably nothing but hypocrisy, but that never stopped any jissou from doing anything.

"Hurts, help close my dress, techaaa..."

Her plea was met by a punch in the skinless stomach. Then two. Then three.

"You are shit jissou, techi ! You do not deserve this place, techi !" Her sister was orange-red from anger, repeatedly screaming "shit sister techi !" in a high-pitched voice. The exposed flesh was oozing more blood with each passing strike, reducing to paste the organs under the large belly. Shit came out flowing from the victim's anus as she screamed for help. In the center of the room, the benevolent jissouseki was trembling from fear. She was denying the fact that one of her sister was killing another, despite everything they had gone through. Weren't they survivors ? Why kill each other when the whole world is already dead set on doing that ? The spark of intelligence that was burning within her saved her from giving in to panic, although it didn't do anything about loose bowels. All of the umbrella-jissou's bowels were now outside her body, ejected from the anus or hanging from her torn belly. Finally, her sister's assault stopped, and she tried walking away. Her last strength only carried her for three steps. After that, she fell face first. The deployed dress-trap stopped her body from falling all the way, and she found death here, standing, her insides behind her.

Two little jissous fought a race against time One didn't see the wall, and then there was one

The event went straight onto the TV's screen upstairs. I was munching away at my bag of boiled jissou maggots. Generic supermarket brand, but sometimes you have to keep it simple. The murder didn't piss me off nearly as much as the one yesterday. After all, this was kind of expected. During two minutes, I pondered. Was my little death maze that effective at frightening jissous to death ? Probably not, eh ? Well, it could do fine for the dying subjects, but for what I wanted, I needed the survivors afraid, and that didn't turn out so hot. What was I thinking by giving them hope at the end anyway ? I must surrender myself to the obvious : My hatred for jissous isn't compatible with studying them. I don't think the hypothesis was that shoddy, but the prediction certainly was. As for the experiment, well, it was like the guys at the LHC deciding to do some bobsleigh inside their giant ring somewhere along the way, and carefully storing the Higgs boson into the shit can. That's it, I'm calling off this "experiment". Starting now, the death maze is for totally unscientific purposes only. Still, I have to give a fair trial to a murderer.

"Wh...why do it, techi ?" Weakly says the innocent jissou to her sister. She was both shocked by the murder and afraid she could be up next. But that's fine, jissous are nothing if not quick to calm down.

"Now we have clean place for us two, techi !" Joyfully replies the lunatic, tongue hanging out and eyes shut. Her pink and clean dress was now partially green and entirely filthy. Ten seconds later, they saw me enter the basement. I'm not sure, but I don't think I saw them look afraid for even one second.

"Good day, weird jissou-chan, techi !" Says the murderer. Thank you for the candies and dresses, techi !"

"No need, desu. Say, didn't you, you know, just beat your sister to death, desu ?" "No, I am good jissou, techi."

...Right. I open the cage, and gently grab her by the waist, staining myself. She looks at me with the usual "cute" face, blushing, full of hopes.

"Guilty, desu." Say I before casually throwing her into the wall to my left.

"CHUW-*sprotch*"

"Sorry Mr.Wright, but your defense was just that bad, desu."

One little jissou, at long last, had won...

And so I gaze upon our grand winner in pristine pink dress. No dirty tricks, no reprehensible behavior, just plain luck. She had developed some kind of moral conscience, too. I heard of that back at the lab, jissouseki that are selfless for no perceptible pragmatic reason. Never really believed it. Turns out it does happen sometimes.

"D...Don't kill me, techi....I am cute, I did nothing, techi."

"Yeah, I know, desu..."

I don't really know what to do. Sure, she's the same failed experiment all jissouseki are, but this one seems redeemable, if she's preserved from the filth of her species. And after all, the three star cage was quite annoying to clean. I pick her, and silently put her in my hood. She faintly chirps, but wisely chooses to remain silent after two attempts at seducing met with the cold shoulder.

I clean the mess. The rotating wheel, the chimney under the halogen lamp, the carpet, and throw all the corpses into the trash. I also feed the weasel yummier things than a rotting jissou corpse. The mother looks at me with both fear and hatred. The wounds left by her missing limbs are festering now, but she doesn't care. She had heard everything. Every scream, every body popping, every insult, every despair-filled lamentation. As I replace the jelly and honey-flavored drink, I can feel her gaze, trying to drill holes into my ruthless self. But my mind is kind of blank, I only care about the slight rummaging behind my shoulders. After replacing the candies, I turn to the mother herself. I remove the feeding tube. She's still small enough to fit within my hands. Her tongue is crushed beyond repair from the pressure by the plastic tube, and all she can emit is gibberish. I'm not in the mood for imagination. I simply crush her skull before throwing her oversized maggot's body in the trash. Then I take the winner in my hand. Her eyes shine, she smells food coming from below. No annoying attempts so far. I find myself stroking her left arm, and she coos. She's actually cute, with her above average physique, her happiness and her cute dress. Should I make the luxury cage her permanent home ?

...Nah.

I crush her arm between my fingers. Blue invades her face. More than the pain, it's the despair that really makes her look like she just took a bullet.

"T...tee ?"

I make short work of the other limbs. I tear up the dress, then her hair. She's shitting and crying like crazy, calling her mama, unable to find the mental strength to insult me. And I'm smiling like crazy. Of course I'm not going to let her live. The less retarded ones are the worst of them all. She takes her mother's place, crushed limbs still attached this time. It's more painful when you still have nerves attached. I take a little vial of red hot chili sauce, best for making jissou understand exactly what "with pain will you give birth to children" means.

"Now then, gentle one, desu. You'd better be ready to get down to business, 'cause I'm in the mood for some mass slaughter, desu."

"Mmuuuuh...MMMMUUUUUUUUUUU-"

One little jissou, at long last, had won She funded a family, and then there were none Slaughter 6 - Good Morning

I am what you could call a Jissouseki lover. Sure, I am kind of biased...It became my business six months after the arrival of these little creatures in the western world. I am a pet retailer, now specialized in them. I don't professionally breed them, nor do I train them, but I do take care of all kinds of jissouseki. My daughter has fallen in love with them at around the same time, so now, I see Jissouseki pretty much all the time, at work and at home. Of course I know why most people are disgusted. But I assure you, behind their selfishness and lack of moral ethics, they are living beings that deserve our love, should we be able to reveal the good side present in all of them.

"Good morning, Stella."

"*Yaaawn* Good morning master, desu !"

Today is the second birthday of her adoption into our home. She stretches before getting out of her bed. Morphologically, she's a regular adult jissou, but we really spoiled her. Her hair is tinted black, her pinkish-red dress is adorned with a richly laced bib, some blue silk ribbons, and even a blue flower attached to her left ear. The best thing ? She deserved every bit of it. She gets up, rearranges her clothes, and proceeds to wake her four children up. A big girl of nine months, two twins of four, and the youngest, unfortunately stuck at the maggot stage, despite being two months of age. They're not as bright as their mother, but well-behaved and educated away from selfishness. My eight year old daughter Samantha comes at this moment. Stella's eyes shine. She really likes my daughter. Together, over the months spent playing together, they forged an unbreakable alliance.

I expected no less, to be honest. Stella cost us 5000 dollars. She was born from a regular broodmother, but was carefully selected and educated to be the best of the best, intelligent and entirely devoted to her masters. And while five grand seems a bit overkill, I have trouble finding a single reason to hate Stella.

"Happy birthday, Stella !" Says my little girl to the high-end jissou, who thanks her, letting out tears of joy. Behind her, the children dance, audibly wondering if the birthday cake their mother talked so much about last night would taste good.

"Come on, children, desu ! Masters make a party for all of us, that's enough to be thankful, desu !". The children don't understand her point all that much, but copiously thank us nonetheless.

"Ah but you're right" I say, as I give them the signal to follow me. "Good jissouseki like you deserve a big cake. Make sure you share equally." "Of course !" Answers Stella. She picks her jissou grub-shaped purse and goes with me into the living room. The twins, Mimy and Nana, follow suit, holding hands, as well as the eldest child, carrying the maggot.

Awestruck gasps are heard as they bear witness to the majesty. Pure bliss in cake form. They do their best to control their bowels before the tower, as big as Stella herself, of frosted chocolate with streaks of caramel I give her the knife. She sniffles from emotion, but does her best nonetheless. She succeeds to cut the cake into seven even parts. One for her, four for her family, and two for us. That's how you know you're dealing with a high-class jissou : She never even thought of forgetting us. She even serves us first, then her children, then herself. Samantha catches on this kind gesture, and hugs her pet.

"Thank you, Stella, you're a wonderful Jissouseki. Today we play together all day long !"

Cheers among the jissous. Samantha is their main master, but she has school and everything, so she's not as present as they wish her to be. Of course they would be overjoyed that they get to have their master's full attention for the whole day. While they eat the delicious cake, they have a brainstorm concerning today's schedule. Most people believe the foul behavior of feral jissouseki is the nature of the species. That they are rotten down to the very core, and exist solely to piss us off. Well, I have to disagree with that. Are we, humans, any different when not socialized and educated to fit among our kind ? Are we paragons of virtue from the moment we are born, or are we egoistic little pricks throwing tantrums over the simplest of things ? No, of course. Well, Jissouseki aren't any different. Unfortunately, their overwhelming population prevent anyone to provide them with a mass education system. A high-end jissou is just one that had been socialized as successfully as any average adult.

"And then we'll play hide and seek, techi !"

"It's not fair, Mimy. Your baby sister will just keep asking for belly rubs, I'll find her without any trouble !"

"Belly rubs, refu ? Yes, tummy soft, please rub, refu !"

"Ah ah ah, alright you little scoundrel, here you go !"

No, you won't make me believe jissous are a pest. They are the best pet human ever discovered. They talk, they're reasonably intelligent, and they're cute. Just give them the chance to learn. Suddenly, my watch beeps. Drat, it's time for work.

"Well, Stella, have a good time with Sammie, I'm off to work. Oh and Sammie, don't forget the present !" "Of course I won't, daddy !" The jissou family's eyes shine at the news, but they know better than to ask for it. Stella disposes of the tissue she used to contain the belly rubbed maggot's shit, and bids me goodbye.

I open my shop. As usual, I have no need for a background music, since the jissous do all the work for me. I have, on average, One or two high-end jissous, with a minimum price of two grand. I always take good care of them, and place them in individual, well equipped cages, as they must be in top condition at all times. Then there are the above average ones. Completed training, usually gifted with pretty dresses or hair, but with some defects that prevent them to be high-class jissous. Count between 500-800 dollars for those. They're the ones I recommend for a first pet jissou, having the best quality-price ratio. You're sure they will be good pets without having to pay a fortune. I usually keep around six of those in the shop. Then the average, twenty of forty individuals, placed in collective but spacious cages. Just educated enough to be obedient and respectful of their masters, but not much else. No more than 150 dollars. And then...You have the ones I feel pity for, but must be selling if I want to feed my family. The usual term is "for abuse". I call them the peons. Officially, they're just labeled "common jissouseki", but it's obvious that people who buy jissous for no more than 10 bucks each wish to unwind their stress of them. The only other type of customer for those are scientists, professional or wannabe. I just provide them with the minimum care : I clean the shit, give them clean food and water, and leave them alone in big common cages. It's saddening, really. If at this low level of education, they weren't acting so carefree all the time, it would feel like a crowded train going straight to Auschwitz. Of course, this is the corner of my shop that's the most noisy. And it could be worse...as a rule of thumb I only have maggots (or thumb-chans) and children, separated in two distinct cages. Adults would be entirely too troublesome. Needless to say, "manly" jissous are an absolute no-no as well.

"Hello, David Kellan, how are you doing today ?"

Oh, Mrs.Fey ! A sweet old lady, and a regular. I'm always thankful when my first customer of the day is a jissou lover instead of an abuser.

"Wonderful, it's my Stella's birthday today ! My daughter is with her as we speak."

"Oh, I sure hope she'll enjoy herself ! She's such a good girl."

"I do too. So, will you buy the usual ?"

"Yes, plus a purse. Kristy's is beginning to wear out." "Sure thing."

I turn around, where I store all the accessories, toys and food for Jissouseki. Mrs.Fey always sticks to Desties®, cereals for jissouseki coated with sugar. As they're meant to be sort of semi-treat, she probably buys more generic stuff at the supermarket. Of course, technically, both run of the mill jissou food and Desties® are just ground and dried jissou meat, but she doesn't need to know that. Anyway, four boxes. Then comes shampoo. Jissouseki are fragile creatures, and human shampoo can sometimes hurt their eyes really bad. Then, hair dye. Plus the purse...

"Alright, that will be $53.50."

"Gladly...Oh, mister Kellan, the other day, my son showed me a horrible video on this Internet thing..."

"Another of those maniacs posting videos of Jissouseki abuse ?"

"Oh, no, no...It was far more heartrending than that...On it, a mother Jissouseki -you could see she was smart, the poor girl- was killed in the middle of a conflagration. Just like a murder, in cold blood..."

"In a fire ? How on earth was it caught on tape ?"

"From my understanding, it was arson on a breeding facility. But the worst thing is the murderer...It looked like a small child, only with Jissouseki traits. How someone so young and pretty can do something like that...? It's terrible, Mr.Kellan, I tell you."

"No kidding...Wait...This facility, could it have been The Jissou Garden ?"

"W...why, yes, it was the name written on the video..."

"Damn, I know this company, it's in this town ! No wonder they had trouble supplying me last month..."

At this moment, another customer entered. Mrs.Fey politely said goodbye and left. The man had everything of the young, ambitious executive. Exactly the kind of people you don't imagine taking care a pet. Still, I had a business to run.

"Hello...I'll take five common jissous. Two children and three maggots, please." "Of course sir...Can I interest you with food as well ?"

"No, that's alright, I already have some."

Right.

18:30, time to close shop. Saturday evening, time to do...that. I sigh. It's painful, but I have to. The peons grow fast, and their frequent quarrels often leave them in an ugly state. Even if they're almost exclusively for abuse, I refuse to have bald-naked jissous in my shop, so every week, I clean up the population. And yes, that means killing all the black sheep.

I open the cages. I only feed them -shit disposal will be for Tuesday morning- and take the oldest, filthiest and most aggressive ones in a cloth bag. As usual, I can hear their complaints. No pleas. Just threats and insults. If only they didn't reproduce so fast, there wouldn't be that many feral ones. But what is done is done, nobody can take care of these now. Not that anybody would want to. I fill the cheap bathtub in the back shop with water, and begin my ugly duty. I always drown them. That way I don't hear their cries much. I know it's long and painful for them, but if I watched them in the eyes while killing them, I think I would soon give in to the hate provoked by their pheromones. I don't like to do this. Really, I don't. But I make up for that by loving Stella and taking care of the better ones. Green seeps through the bag like a filthy tea bag. Nothing surprising here. Their struggle for survival can only be guessed when I watch the cloth move, increasingly less bubbles reaching the surface as time goes on. Come on, die already... My heart leaps when I see an arm coming through a hole in the cloth. But fortunately, it just flaps harmlessly without succeeding at going any further, and stops after ten seconds. Soon, bubbles stop coming out. I take a big breath, and go empty the bag into the trash outside, looking away from the bluish faces and gray eyes. Sorry, but I had to.

When I get home, my smile returns. My daughter and our jissous are waiting for me, and cheer when I open the door.

"Welcome back, Master, desu !" She's blushing, and looks away. Perplexed, I look at Samantha.

"Her and the children made presents for us two, dad, but she's too shy to give yours !" My heart melts, and I kneel before Stella, stroking her hair.

"Aw, you didn't have to, it's your birthday after all..."

"B...but I want to, dechun !" Says she, tears of emotion running down her cheeks. "Mistress and you are always so kind to us, dechun ! Other jissous in the street are sad, we're so lucky, so take this, desuuuun !".

She looks at her feet while giving me something round, very roughly packaged into some red paper she must have found in my drawers. It looks nothing like a proper present box, but no matter. Right now, it's beautiful.

"Thank you, Stella." I open the package. It's a round, shiny and colorful rock. It's not transcendent, but it's pretty enough.

"Mimy found this, desu." Behind her leg, the little jissou is blushing. It's obvious she isn't moved as much as her mother, but what the hell. I hug her together with Stella.

"You're the best pets I ever had. Thank you." I get up. "Come on, it's time for bath now." They all explode into chants of joy. For them, it's the best time of the day. Well, after all, I haven't been a cheapskate here either.

In the bathroom, near the tub, lies the jissou family jacuzzi I bought for the twin's birth. Manufactured by a company specialized in high-end items for high-end jissouseki. Quite expensive, as you can guess. It's a green box, with smiling jissouseki faces painted on the sides, powered with electricity and connected to the water distribution system. It has several levels of depths, so that jissouseki of all ages can sit in and relax like in a real jacuzzi. If it was human-sized, it would already be one hell of a thing to have in your house. Our pets have only one desire : Savor the bath. But like the well- behaved jissous they are, they change into their swimsuits first, carefully fold their clothes and put them on the shelves. Only then do they rush into their pool like cats on a laser dot.

As I make the last preparations for the next day, I can hear them playing. She's helping the twins swim as usual. Fiona, the eldest child, knows how, but they aren't quite enough developed yet. As for Bibbie, the maggot, she's always in her floater when she ventures into the deeper areas. Thin bubbles are flowing into the warm water, tickling them without being big enough to put them into any danger. Various plastic items are at their disposition to play with, and they're just so damn cute in their little colored swimsuits, we can only forget the occasional leak of excrement that comes out in their delight. And the filter system evacuates it quickly anyway. When I go back into the bathroom to announce lights out, the twins are riding a plastic duck, laughing. One falls, but is rescued by her mother without any problems. She laughs some more, and asks to ride the duck one more time.

"No, Mimy-chan, desu. Master has said it's time to go to bed, desu." The little one wants to protest, but she knew mommy wouldn't tolerate any disobedience to us. So she whimpered slightly and got off.

Thirty minutes later, they're back in their room.

"Okay girls, you know Sammie and me are going to my mother's place for tomorrow. We leave at 3 am and return Monday morning. Until then, you have the house for yourselves. It's not the first time, so I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"Yes, master, desu !" Chants Stella, followed by her daughters. Well, except Bibbie, who lies on her back into her little bed.

"Belly soft and squishy, please rub, refu !". Stella sighs, and indulges her baby one last time.

"You all go to sleep now, desu. Don't bother masters this night and I will give you candy tomorrow, desu."

They collectively shut up less than one second later, Fiona even going as far as to fake snoring. With this, we bid them goodbye and go claim our short night.

3 am, we get up, and take our luggage. Stella apparently couldn't get any sleep, worried to see us leaving. Apparently, she was cleaning the house all night, all the while being very careful about not waking us up. Silently, we kiss her, and quietly leave the house, into the cold winter night.

Stella sighs. She knows she shouldn't be such a worrywart. Masters are smart and strong, they will surely return. All she can do is make sure their beautiful home stays nice and clean. She smells a slight odor. She decides to climb a chair and open a window. The air is fresh and reinvigorating. Much better. She will let it that way for a little while, Master's home must not become cold. Then, she goes looking at her beautiful present, again. A piano with large keys made to fit jissou arms. Her Master is so generous and thoughtful ! She is so happy ! Outside, Master's big fast machine roars, before fading into the night. That's it, she is alone. She opens the piano's lid, gazing upon the shiny white keys again. Tomorrow morning she will play, and when Masters come back, she will give them a beautiful music as thanks ! Joyful anticipation in her heart, she closes the lid, and turns around to go to her bed... Her heart stops. Someone is in the room. Is it Mistress Samantha ? No, that is not her odor. And she didn't hear the door open, how...? The window. Blue invades Stella's face. Foolish ! Bad Jissou ! She threatened Master house's safety ! The stranger takes a step forward, getting into the moonlight bathing the living room. She has a face like a jissouseki, and yet looks like a Mrs.Lady. She's smiling. But not like master's warm smile. It is full of madness and evil.

"Oooh sweet lords of metal, this is gonna be fun, desu." Slaughter 7 - Good Night

Everything was quiet in the jissou family's room. A whole room all for themselves. There were four green little futons, each tailored for its designated owner's size. Every single furniture here is jissouseki-shaped. The little desk and chair, the lamp, the toilets, the tissue dispenser...even the damn wallpaper. As expected from pets, they all have colors different from green The grown child sleeps with her head covered by the blanket. The twin kojissous, sleeping together, are a little rowdier according to their messed-up blanket. As for the maggot, which had roughly the size of a potato, it was gently squirming in its bed, letting out cute little sighs every now and then. 3:30 AM. Time for the wake up call.

"WARSAW, RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE ! desu."

They obviously weren't used to hear someone yelling at the top of their lungs this early in the morning. I heard some "sprrts" meaning that their pet- class bowels didn't resist.

"What's happening, techi ?"

"Mama refu ?"

They get up, and get the first bluish tint they had in a long time. I stand in front of the door, a knife under the throat of their mother.

"Hey, that's a damn fine room you have there, you pukebag, desu. How naive is that poor Mr.Man for you to have coaxed him into spoiling you like that, desu ?"

"No, I am good Jissou, I do as I was taught, desu !" Answers she with a surprising amount of self-control. "Me and my children love Master, desu !"

I raise my right eyebrow in disbelief. I never heard this kind of defense before, but...She seriously expects me to believe that ? Love isn't something a Jissouseki is capable of, period. Plus, this house has everything of the crazy jissou Mrs.Lady's den. Also, urgh ! Look at that mother's outfit. It's so cutesy it's disgusting. I don't answer to her statement, and look at the children. So...where do I begin ?

"Belly soft and squishy, please rub, refu !" I grin. Jissou abuse is and art where inspiration never runs dry. I make the mother fall on her knees, and rummage through the utility belt I just recently finished while moving to the maggot. That makes it very happy, and it wags its little tail in expectation, panting. However, it only utters a "te?" when I put my hand on its head. I'm no specialist in jissou morphology, but I know oversized maggots like this have a peculiar trait : Their brain never grows as complex as other jissous of the same size, but evolved. That means they are the most suited to certain tricks involving long, pointy things, and a special kind of sadism. The poor little fucker was too busy wondering if a head grabbing can be considered a good step towards the belly rubbing delight to realize that a beading needle was swiftly going through its skull. The same couldn't be said for the mother.

"MAGGOT-CHAN ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER DESUUU-

"Continue shitting through your mouth and I eat you baby alive, desu."

She instantly shuts up. Weird, normally I use this kind of threat when I want to blame a maggot's death on a dumb matriarch. That Jissouseki seems dangerously crafty. I then tie a knot with the two ends of the synthetic thread. The maggot still hasn't understand what was happening, just perplexed at my weird actions and upset about them not resulting in a delicious belly rub. Finally, I take a bit of tape, and cover its anus with it. Done ! I put on my fashionable new necklace, and turn around to display it to the whole family. The children shit themselves. The mother does not, and charges towards me.

"Please desuun ! Release Bibbie-chan, she didn't do anything to you desuuun !"

She's way shorter than me, and barely manages to touch her baby with her paws by jumping. She doesn't even try to strike me, she just wants her maggot back. How touching. The result is rather pitiful, though : A mother jissouseki, jumping in place and trying to grab the grub hanging from my neck. All it does is making the maggot swing from side to side, giving him the bluish tint I find so hilarious. Even worse, she's making it crap, something she doesn't want to happen since there's the tape on its ass.

"Tummy hurts, rehi ! Mama save, repyeeeeen !"

"Hey, stop stupiding you cunt, desu. You're only hurting him by doing that, desu. So wise up and realize the only way is to not piss me off, desu." Of course, that's wishful thinking, there's no way a Jissouseki would let reason come before emotions, so... What the hell ? She stands back, a fire in her eyes, saying to the maggot she will save it. Okay, I stand corrected. This one is one tough cookie. It's difficult enough for me to thoroughly kick a Jissouseki's ass inside a Mr.Man's house as it is. If I have a overly sophisticated Jissou on my back, It's gonna be even more of a pain in the ass. I'm gonna need some time to find a good plan.

The dangerous weird jissou had ordered Stella and her children to do as usual and pretend she was not here. But that is impossible, it is too early, it is forbidden by Master. But weird jissou keeps poking Bibbie-chan. She always has this evil stare. Stella is afraid, but she must stay calm for maggot- chan. No use running away, the outside is dangerous, and maggot-chan would be killed. But Stella is good, smart jissouseki, she will find something. For now, they make breakfast. The dangerous weird jissou sits on a chair away from them. She is the wrong way, her head is over the back, half buried in her arms. She is staring at Stella. The gaze is terrifying, it feels like she could leap at them now and tear them apart like a wild beast. Stella tries to ignore it, but maggot-chan is still hanging from the evil jissou's neck. She's crying. The thing in her head hurts, and she wants to poo.

"Refeeee, want not thing in the way of poo...Belly hurts, repyeeeen...Want mama, repyeeeeen..."

Stella is sure Maggot-chan is bigger than usual. Poo stays inside, it makes her swell and hurts her. Her yellow clothes are stretched. She tries to escape, wriggling her cute little arms, but it is useless. And the evil jissou still stares. She completely ignores Bibbie's pain. Why is she so evil ? Come back, Master... No ! Stella is alone, she must find a way.

"Where do you come from, desu ?" Asks Stella in the most confident way she can muster.

"Oh, I live in the neighborhood, desu. Usually I don't go making a mess this close to my house, but the invitation was just too endearing this time, desu."

"Do you have a Master, desu ?" The evil jissou laughs.

"...Well, do you, desu ?"

"Yes, de ! Master David is our Master, desu ! I am a good Jissou so I do anything for Master, de !"

Silence.

"Don't give me that crap, desu. You Jissouseki can say "Master" all you want, you just don't have it in you. You're failures who do everything out of egoism, desu. The loyalty trait was put in the prototypes way after your birth, desu."

Stella doesn't understand what the evil jissou said, but she's sure Master will. She takes the cookie jar, and goes to the cupboard. She puts it right beside the thing Master told her to activate if there's trouble, and pushes the button. "Wh...What do you mean, de?"

"Of course I can't expect a failure like you to understand, desu...Look, I'm the evolved version of you, better in every way, made to be the best pet there is for Mr.Men, desu. They wrote loyalty in my genetic code." The evil jissou's face lit up even more. "If I live with a Mr.Man, after a while he becomes my Master and I can't ever ever betray him until one of us dies; Mr.Men at the lab called that "bonding", desu. " Stella tried to follow, but it was really complicated, and the twins were calling for more chocolate. "So don't you fucking dare boasting to know what having a Master is, desu."

"So, who is he, desu ?" She knew she probably didn't give a question that followed up the evil jissou's rant, but it's her fault for talking too much !

"...What ? You mean if I had one, desu ? Only my Dad, and when he died, I escaped, desu."

She could understand this time, but it did not seem all that useful to her. But Master will. He is a genius !

"There were no Mr.Man who wanted you next, desu ?" The evil jissou seems surprised, and looks innocently into the air.

"Well since my birth I was meant to be eventually sold to a powerful Mr.Man in Japan, desu. I think it was a general, so they put military stuff in my room, along with failed prototypes, desu."

Mmh...Didn't understand. Next question !

"But won't your Master be upset you hurt cute and good jissous like us, dechun ?"

This time, her eyes grew wide.

"BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAdesu" She was laughing so hard that maggot-chan got shaken up, worsening her sickness. "You are so friggin' hilarious, desu ! Of course Mr.Men won't be upset, nobody loves Jissouseki, desu !"

"It...It is not true, Master David loves us, de..."

"Oh, gimme a break, desu. Only crazy jissou-Mrs.Ladies love you, desu. Mr.Men as far too gallant and courageous to like such a pitiful species, desu ! Take 1944 for instance, there were guys in some town named Poland overrun with Nazis, but they never surrendered, desu !" "Stella knows about that, desu !" Said the pet Jissou, extremely proud to catch on with the evil Jissou's speech, although she could feel something was off about said speech. "But those would have loved cute Jissouseki like us, dechun ! The Nazis would have been abusers, desu !"

"Wha..? You're insulting, desu ! There's no way evil things like Nazis were Mr.Men, They must have been some kind of giant space jissous or something, desu."

Weird, Stella did remember something different from the books. She wanted to protest, but the evil jissou was back at giving her hateful stare. During all this time, Mimy, Nana and Fiona had all been quietly eating their early breakfast, making just enough fuss to look like messy children during a birthday. They never were very aware of their surroundings, but right now it was a blessing. Stella is thankful they, at least, don't feel the anguish her and Bibbie are going through.

"Sleepy, Mama, techi. We go to bed, techi."

"And then we play with birthday present from Master, techi !"

"No, Nana-chan, desu. We still have to save maggot-chan, desu."

"How we do that, techi ?"

"I do not know, I will think of something, desu."

Stella looks back to Bibbie-chan. She has calmed down a bit, more from exhaustion than relief. Still, it's good enough to lighten her mother's burden. Which gets increased sharply when she sees the newly lit fire in the evil jissou's eyes. She's grinning again. Time is up.

So she really is effectively house-trained, huh ? Guess the owner of this house really is functionally retarded. Pity, but even Mr.Ladies have their jissouseki-loving black sheep. Still, I absolutely cannot let any property of hers be damaged. Last time at the factory was painful enough.

"Alright retards, go back to your room, desu."

They don't make me repeat myself and go right away. I get up and follow them, giving a push to my grub-lace. That fires up her whining factory, making the mother whimper. Good, I always feel better with cries of distress within earshot. So anyway, there was something odd on the ugly little piano in the living room. "Stella" was engraved on the right side. Of course, that raised some red flags, but it's only when the palish pink-dressed little shit talked about birthday that it became a certitude. The crazy Jissou-Mrs.Lady had actually given things to that jissou. Meaning, that's property I can ruin without any backfire. That will prove useful in a pinch.

"Hey, fatass" say I to this Stella. "Where's the most expensive birthday gift you got, desu ?"

"Expensive, de ?" She went slightly blue when she saw that her answer irritated me. "It...it must be the ja-kou-zi Master gave us, decha !"

What the fuck ? A jacuzzi for herself ? Well, that does qualify as expensive, kudos for guessing the meaning. I make them guide me to the bathroom, and, in-fucking-deed, there was a miniature green pool with complex electric devices, and little holes on the inner sides. That Mrs.Lady must be half Jissou, there's no other explication.

"Get that ready, desu."

All the children are overjoyed, including the fucking maggot. Well of course, what can you expect ? Jissouseki remain jissouseki, even when they're spoiled like that. The mother is happy too, but at least shows some restraint. She knows something is up, not that it requires a PhD in rocket science. The three juvenile jissous begin to carefully remove their dresses while the mother prepares the bath. I kneel over the two little kojissous...

"Chuwa !"

In mere seconds, they become unable to move their arms anymore. Elastics are tying up their bodies. Fortunately for the kojissous, They are weak enough to neutralize them without putting their bodies at risk. The eldest child looks at me with a baffled look, her left boot in her paws.

"There's only one suitable way for Jissouseki to undress, desu."

I grab the bottom of her blue dress. This time, she understands instantly.

"N...no, teee..."

And I rip it apart. It's already terrible for all jissouseki, but for one who never experienced cruelty, it's like a nuclear warhead just hit your hometown before your eyes.

"OROROROROOOOON !"

I can't help but grin hearing her anguished wail, as I mercilessly, yet slowly, finish the work. She's copiously crying, yelling like a damned soul, trying, to no avail, to protect her treasured dress, her stubby arms flailing pathetically in the air. Her panties are, even now, reasonably clean. They will stay in that state, now that they're four meters away from their owner. I briefly let her run to the scattered pieces of fabric, wailing as she puts them together. Around her, the twins stop struggling against the elastics, awestruck by the fate of their big sis, losing her so carefully maintained grace. As for the mother, she's frozen in place, moving her eyes back and forth between the humiliation of her eldest child, and the pain of her youngest, madly swung around by my quick movements. The two of them form a hellish cacophony, overlapping each other's wails, one of distress and sorrow, the other of pain and extreme confusion. When she has put together on the floor the pieces of cloth, wearing herself a half-torn dress revealing her oversized belly and bald spots of her skull, the eldest dares, while wiping the sweat off her forehead, utter a relieved "Techiii...". Which quickly transforms into a "TE ?" when she sees me gathering the fruit of her pursuit into my hands, and into a "NOOO TECHAAAAA" when she sees me flushing it down the toilet. I may have unconsciously made the famed troll-face at that moment. She rushes to the jissou dress disposal unit. Red and green tears fall into the water as she tries hopelessly to recover her outfit. Her bare ass, stained green, is showing to her entire family, who prudely looked away. Apparently they held cleanliness and decency in high esteem, making this humiliation all the more horrible for the little pig.

"Weird Jissou-chan, you jerk, teeen...Why do this to a cute little Jissou like me, teeeen..."

Undeterred by that plea, I pull her off the toilet, and hold her into the air. She looks absolutely terrified, and little nuggets of shit drops on the floor. I restrain myself from punching her into paste, and get rid of the last remnant of clothing instead. When it's done, I put her back on the floor, grab each one of her strands of blonde hair, and tear them off in a single pull. The sudden pain makes her emit a stream of shit out of her ass. You didn't know what pain feels like, little girl ? As she's almost choking on her saliva trying to catch her breath, I grab the frontal hair, and tear it in a large motion, sending her flying into a corner.

"And here you go, desu. No tricks, no illusions, just the plain naked truth of a species of obese, deformed piglets, desu."

Usually, this is where the complaining comes in. But not this time. Around me, all I can see is paralyzing terror. The child is now completely bald- naked, looking exactly like the lowest of the low. She doesn't even try to get up. She's fainted from shock, but her bowels continue to empty themselves, as she's shaken by spasms. She's so humiliated, she can't even find solace in unconsciousness. Anybody walking in there would have taken her for a filthy feral Jissouseki just one molecule of pheromone away from sending someone into a blind rage. Their perfect little world has been dealt a devastating blow. And it's just the beginning. I point a class 1 (not dangerous) laser towards Stella's left eye.

"In the jacuzzi. Now, desu."

She hesitates. She's terrified, as well as shaken up by the very disturbing natural process that fires up in her body. Plus, she seems reluctant to go into the jacuzzi with her clothes on. But doesn't really have a choice, as my hand is still threatening the maggot, which really begins to get bloated from shit.

"D...Dee...Feels very weird, dee..."

"Quit whining, that's pregnancy, and you obviously experienced this before, desu."

"N...No ! My cute children were all born naturally, desu !"

"What in the name of fuck could you possibly mean, desu ?"

"W...Well, it was M...Master, he...", she stammers, blushing.

...Sanctified stepmother of shit. Ever read Gintama ? You should. Anyway, the face I made at this moment could only be described as the Gintama Shocked Face. This batshit insane jissou-Mrs.Lady has knocked that monster up. So, yeah, I guess in this case it's the first time she got a red-eye pregnancy. When impregnated by...that, the right eye turns green for a while, and one or two weeks later, pops out a single Jissou, usually a thumb-chan. But that's one piece of information I carefully locked away in my mind. There are some things that aren't meant to be believed, and the ability for jissous to be fathered by Mr.Men are one of them. It's my face's turn to turn blue. It...just cannot fucking be. This Mrs.Lady is three quarters Jissou. There's no other way. I'm too shocked to make a single move. It...can't be. It just can't. What the fuck. A Mr.Man...with a Jissouseki. No way. For thirty seconds, the room turns silent, save from the gentle bubbling of the jacuzzi. Then, the mother begins panting, pawing at her growing belly.

"I...I don't want more children, dee...Master won't be pleased, desuun..."

She's torn between her duty as a pet, and her instincts as a mother. She's a good jissou, she can't let them die...But they will be too many, this will empty her Master's fridge...But then again, it's not her fault if she's making children...But a mother must take care of her babies... In her inner turmoil, she forgets about her tormentor, and even about her other children's state.

I haphazardly move to the jacuzzi, my mind blank. Stella is too focused on her pregnancy to notice me. The complex device fills my vision, and my head is moving on its own.

"D...Decha !"

A maggot, coated in transparent green slime, pops out to the water's surface. The mother catches it, and instinctively licks it before putting it in the shallowest area. Then another comes. Then another.

"Stop coming out, dee...It can't convince Master to take care of too many, desu..."

What's this ? There's a little toothed wheel surrounded by symbols. There's a jissou family comprising individuals from all ages, then only the adult, thumb-chans and kojissous, then only adults and kojissous, then only the adult. The wheel is pointing at the entire family. This restarts my mind. I smirk and turn the wheel. I hear little squeals. The bubbles got slightly stronger. When a maggot pops out, it's shaken up by the trembling water. The coating slime protects it from spilled droplets, though. There are already five maggots in the maggot-safe part of the jacuzzi, where there isn't any bubbles. The mother didn't noticed anything, focused as she is on her new offspring. I crank it up another notch. The waters gets a little hotter, and bigger bubbles come bursting to the surface.

"De ?"

At last, she notices me, and tilts her head to the right, holding her seventh maggot.

"Don't do this, desu." She says casually. "Master only does that when I'm alone, think of the maggot-chans, desu." I look at her, still a little dazed, and let my eyes drift to the bunch of maggots wriggling in the shallow part.

"Whaddya talking about, desu ? You're giving birth into a fucking jacuzzi, you're the one at fault, desu."

She looks at me with a dumb look on her face. Slowly, but faster than average, she understands what I mean.

"But...You said to go in it, desu !"

"Yeah, in order to save a maggot...By killing a lot more, desu." She gasps as the eighth grub pops out, its older brother still coated in slime in their mother's paws. "Yeah, that's right, you're a retard and a mass murderer, just like every jissou in the wild, desu."

Something blows up inside her mind, just like something blew up in mine not three minutes ago. I think I found her weakness. A mixture of anger and terror invades her face as she tries to get out of the jacuzzi. Unfortunately, she's far too weakened by her pregnancy, and her dress, now gorged with water, only weighs her down. She could hardly get out of a classical birthing toilet, but certainly not something which is almost as tall as she is.

"N..No ! Maggot-chans, run !" She yells to her newborns, weakly pushing one of them with her paw to make it go down the little slide, especially made for maggots the be able to get out themselves should they become weary. And their answer...

"Tettere~! Water feels good, refu !"

"Punipuni !"

"Hungry, refu !"

Is to remain right where they are. But, hey, what's wrong with this indicator, it's cranked to the point where it should be dangerous to thumb-chans, and yet...

"Recha !"

Ah, of course, security warnings appear as soon as there's a risk, not when there's a 100% mortality rate. Although if I were a politician, I would make a bill like that : "Dangerous for jissous" can only be applied when every single test subject die in a satisfactorily horrendous manner. Yeah, that would be nice. At any rate, a big bubble bursts in the kojissou's part of the jacuzzi, creating a ripple that pulls one of the maggots in the drawback. It's surprised, and swallows a good mouthful of water. "Rehi !" It wriggles, only making itself turn on its belly, face under the water. It wriggles some more, trying its best to jump out of the water. "Repupu !" It tries to cough water out. Stella, of course, sees this, but she has her hands busy. She tries to push back her maggot onto the safe platform, only to punch its malleable head into flatness. "DECHA !" She tilts her body to the right to catch the maggot with both hands, but forgot she was holding one already, and that two were on the waiting list, floating to the surface, the protective coating slowly disintegrating. She gets back to the one she let go. Her sudden movements make another maggot drift into the deeper parts. The first one is about to lose to the water. The tenth maggot pops out. She panics. Not enough. Sometimes, you have to push it to the limit...

"De...DEE ?" ...And walk along the razor's edge.

"NOOOO DECHAAAAAAA !"

And suddenly, the biggest bubbles the jacuzzi can muster break loose. The first maggot to have fallen victim to the waters is sent flying to the side of the jacuzzi by a jumbo bubble, finishing its already weakened skull. Stella does the mistake of flailing her arms madly, trying to gather as much maggots as possible against her body. But the maggots are shaken by the bubbles way too much, and she can't get a hold of any. Instead, she messes with the water more than necessary, pulling no less than three maggots into the fiery liquid.

"STOP MOVING STUPID BABIES, DECHA !"

At the same time, the temperature rises slowly but surely. "Refu ? REFU ?" The surviving maggot's skin turns reddish, and they flail their bodies even more, but it soon becomes suffocating because of the vapor. "Mama refeeeee". Stella wails in panic as a twelfth maggot is born. There are more than ten little grubs drowning, cooking, and headbutting plastic around her, and she can't seem to save even one. Her face is a delicious mix of every strong emotion a Jissouseki can experience : Fear, Anger, Despair and Excitement. Fear is the bluish tint, Anger is the throbbing veins and pointy teeth, Despair is the abundant red tears, and Excitement is her panting and tongue sticking out (and bitten by her own fangs) due to labor. Everything a PTLD can ask for in one single picture. Magnificent.

"Too...hot, repyeeen !"

"Garglfu !"

"Save us rep..ark..pu !"

One brain pops out due to confusion and boiling. Woah. These things are supernaturally fragile. And sure enough, they all die within one minute, half of them indirectly because of their own mother. I turn the jacuzzi down, cackling like a lunatic. A bunch of grub corpses, with gray eyes and reddish bodies, are floating.

"Aah, there's nothing like a good bubble bath, is it desu ?"

Stella finally gets up, her left eye returning to normal. She looks at me with an intensity I never saw in a jissou before. She talks in a raspy voice.

"I...Will...KILL YOU DECHA !" She gets out with the grace of a legless ox, and punches me in the guts. She's screaming with a hatred I know all too well. And yet, all she can get out of me is uncontrollable laughter. On my chest, the big maggot wriggles. Its yellow dress as begun to tear apart in some places.

"Stop screaming, mama, repyo ! Too loud rehi !"

This, somehow, seems to reach her. "Look at what you fucking did, you whore, desu." Say I to her utterly confused self. " They all died, and yet you don't even try to bury them ? What a disgrace, desu." She's shocked by this confrontation to the bestiality she showed in the jacuzzi. Still, her make-believe education kicks in, and she complies, turning her back on me.

"S...Sorry, maggot-chans, I will help you go to heaven, desuun !"

Okay, this way I have enough time to...

"Refu !"

What ? Oh my. One single maggot has made it down the slide to safety. The mother hasn't noticed its presence though, the jacuzzi blocking her view. I pick it. It's in good shape, it must have escaped through sheer luck just before the Bubble Rampage. I hear a whimper to my right. The bald-naked child has waken up. I take a bottle out my utility belt, unscrew it, and pour its content on the lucky maggot's head. It smells yummy food, and stretches its little tongue upwards. "Hungry refu !" The bottle happens to contain the honey/toffee mixture I use in the death maze. I go to the humiliated jissouseki, and present the maggot, its body hidden by my hand, showing just the skull coated in the delicacy.

"Hey, I'm sorry for earlier, here, have this candy, desu." I say with my best puppy-eyed face. She seems wary, but a drop of saliva betrays her. The mother is busy collecting the dead maggots, and the twins are comically rolling on the floor trying to get rid of the elastics. It seems to her that the storm is over, and eventually accepts my gift. She closes her eyes, and munches away.

"Thank you, techi...You are nice after all, it is delicious, tech..."

I smirk, and shout at the top of my lungs :

"OH MY GOD SHE'S EATING THE LAST MAGGOT DESU !" The mother turns around. The daughter open her eyes. The maggot, half of its head eaten, is satisfied with just dying silently, its shit dripping to the floor. Time stops.

"N...No mama it is not like th-" A punch right into her mouth stops her.

"YOU ARE SHIT JISSOU, YOU JUST MURDERED YOUR SISTER DECHA !"

God, is she gonna keep screaming all evening ? Grow some self control. Her return to pretend kingdom was only temporary. She's completely out of it now, only white hot anger on her face, mercilessly hitting her daughter with the obvious intent to kill. I told ya, all jissous are the same, unable to keep control of themselves at even the slightest incident. Good grief.

"You call that a slightest incident, you PSYCHOTIC BITCH, DECHA ?!!"

Oh shut up, Jissouseki don't know about the fourth wall. Anyway, while she's busy, I go to the twins.

"Hey girls, I tried to stop your mother, but obviously she's gone crazy and wants all of you dead, desu."

"Te ? No way, techi ! Mama is the best, techi !" This answer wasn't as assured as the kojissou in palish-green dress had hoped. After all, this fabulous mother was pounding their big sis into submission with the subtlety of Zangief.

As a gesture of goodwill, I remove their elastics. Then I take out another item from my belt, and give it to them.

"What is this, techu ?"

"It's a magic wand that calms down bad jissous, desu ! Your mother will be herself in no time, desu ! To make it work, you pull here, desu"

They say "okay techu !" and chirp. Surely I wasn't that bad ! Quick, little kojissous, go calm down mother ! They run towards her, and call for her attention. Her face is still throbbing from anger, but at least she stops ravaging her child's head... Her eyes become bloodshot when she sees her twins holding a gun, and pointing it at her.

"Pull the thing, Nana-chan, techi !"

"Yes, te !" A squirt is heard. Yeah, it's only a water gun, there's no way two kojissous could hold a real gun, even together. It doesn't carry water though, but vinegar. I found that, for some reason, Jissouseki are really irritated by the acrid smell. And they hit right in the middle of her face. The children look at her, panting, tongues sticking out, eyes shining in joyful expectation. They get a kick.

"Y...you...YOU are ALL SHIT dauGHTERS DEEESHAAAA !"

She catches one of the twins, and shakes her vertically as hard as she can. Her scream is worthy of a berserk. The kojissou is shaken up so badly, I can see her intestines come out of her mouth. Meanwhile, the other kojissou cries all the tears in her body while trying to hit her with the "magic wand" again. I can't help but laugh. It's just too much ! So how do you like your cute little Stella-chan now, you crazy jissou-Mrs.Lady ? After Mimy is thoroughly relieved of her insides, Stella turns around to Nana, a dark aura surrounding her, while little streams of vinegar hit her soaked boots.

"You dare to dirty me, desu ?"

"No mama, stop it, I just want you normal, tee..."

"THEN YOU DARE TO DIE, DESU !"

Holy shit. Was that a Jissou pulling off a good quote ? She whacks the poor little bastard with her paws in a warrior's scream. Okay, maybe I'm a little bigot-y about all this jissou business, but I know a good opportunity for a power metal background music when I see one.

"There is a force, a power within, within the immortal soul, desu bright as the sun, stronger than all the power is in control desu until the end we will defend our brothers and their very land moving straight ahead Condition Red Desuuuu Condition Reeeeeed desu"

The badass music encourages her to whack harder. During a fraction of second, she makes me think of me when I was younger. Ah, good times. Although I totally wasn't a jissou before, don't you mistake me ! Her metal moment, however, quickly fades away when there's nothing left solid enough to hit. She looks around her, panting heavily. The twins are deader than disco, and the eldest, skull crushed, tongue cut in half and shaken by spasms, is halfway into the Great Common Septic Tank, aka jissou paradise. She shivers. Denial would serve no purpose. Tears come flowing from her eyes, and she falls on her knees. The despaired cry of her crushed soul echoes through the night.

"Ororororooooooon..." She whimpers after fifty good seconds of screaming. "I...I am shit jissou, desuuuuun !"

"Damn right you are, desu. But, hey, at least you still have Bibbie-chan, right desu ?"

She looks up. The necklace is still alive, albeit in serious trouble. It's twice as large as before, and has gained so much weight, blood could be seen trickling where the thread passes through its skull. It also doesn't wriggle nearly as much as before. I think it's time. I remove it, and show it to Stella.

"Mama close, reffeee...Save, repyeeen"

Stella sniffles, wipes her tears off, and slowly reaches to her maggot. If at least Bibbie is saved, she can be fine in the end.

"Yes, Mama is here, everything will be fine, desu..." She takes the bloated maggot between her paws... A maggot's fragility cannot be overstated : In a "REBO-" It straight up explodes because of the pressure, smearing her face -and part of my dress, dammit- with blood and shit.

The fallen mother can't even muster a wail. She snorts, and falls on the floor, in a fetal position. Spasms shake her, her eyes are dead, drool comes out of her perpetually open mouth. Bibbie has burst like a balloon. Nana is nothing but paste. Mimy has vomited her organs out. Fiona can't be saved anymore. All her new children died within less than three minutes after their birth. And even if her hearts yells it is all because of the evil jissou, her heart knows that she was weak, and has caused all of their deaths.

"What's this, desu ?" Asks the evil jissou. Stella weakly turns around. The monster is looking at the cupboard of clear wood next to the bathtub. The colored stone, her family's gift to Mistress Samantha and Master David proudly lies on it.

"Our present...to Masters, desu...We love them...it is the truth, desu. That is proof, desu."

"Proof of your love, desu ?" She raises an eyebrow. Destroy it, evil jissou. It is fine. Even if everything disappears, her love for Master will remain. But she turns away. Then she says, boredom in her voice... "It's such a shitty present, I don't even have the heart to throw it away, desu"

Finally, after two wonderful years, she can't hold it anymore. She craps all over herself. It feels good.

Later, we're in the living room. The piglet has silently left the bathroom, leaving a trail of shit dripping out of her filled panties. The house was dead silent. I follow her, intrigued about what's going on in this empty head of hers. One thing is sure, she's devastated beyond my wildest dreams. Even the stupidest jissou couldn't recover from that, and Jissouseki are known for their poor memory. She goes to the cupboard, opens it, and takes a knife. I back off a little, taking a guarding position. Surprisingly, she doesn't even looks at me. She proceeds to cut of her clothes and hair.

"Holy...shit...desu." I mutter. I couldn't even fathom a jissouseki doing such a thing spontaneously. Yet here she was, willingly turning herself into an ugly pig out of guilt. She shivers because of the cold, but carries on with strong resolve. Her adult body, full of wrinkles and cellulite, is as ugly as they come, Yet, even with her body naked and her soul crushed, she still carries a certain nobility. She's too much, such humanity pisses me off. I close my fist, and I'm about to smash her, when I realize she's now pointing the knife against her throat.

"Sorry, Fiona-chan, Mimy-chan, Nana-chan, Bibbie-chan, all my other children, desu. I will go with you in heaven, I will make up for what I did, desu." She says in a calm, solemn manner.

Oh well, If she's willing to do all the work for me... Suddenly, I hear a car roaring into the distance, getting closer at an alarming rate, then a screeching sound. My heart leaps. No way, could it be...? I look at the cupboard where she got the knife. There's a radio transmitter next to the cutlery.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

The front door opens. A Mr.Man stands here, a shocked look on his face. Although he only looks like a Mr.Man, because he can only be a three- quarters jissouseki crazy Mrs.Lady in disguise.

"STELLA, NO !"

The little shit looks at him, and drops the knife. Tears come out flowing from her eyes, and she runs towards him, wailing, shit freely pouring out of her ass. Panicked, I swiftly jump to the still opened window. While I'm running, into the cold night, I remember that this putrid cumstain did, at one point, go to this cupboard. And that she got suspiciously curious after that. Congratulations, PTLD, you just said to the devoted mistress of your latest victim you were living right in her fucking neighborhood. I have two hours to clean up everything of importance and get the hell out of this town.

What a cruel twist of fate. Stella told me everything, obviously afraid she wouldn't believe me. But of course I did, after all I couldn't turn off the recording during my fevered drive back to the house. But God did I wanted to. I heard everything that crazy mutant said, an even when they were in the bathroom, I could hear my sweet little pet's cries of pain. And the song. Oh god the song, filled with madness...Yet, I never could stop myself from listening. Why did that cop's patrol car happened to drive by when I bolted back to our home ? I could have make it in time, but...! No use blaming anyone. Stella is shell-shocked, refuses our treats, and keeps saying she's shit all the time. It's heart-rending, for me and for my daughter. Maybe she'll never recover, but we have to try. Now, more than ever, she needs our love.

The assailant...I'm sure she's the one Mrs.Fey mentioned, the one that ravaged The Jissou Garden's breeding facility. I've seen many abusers, but she is beyond the cruelty that normal citizens inflict upon Jissouseki. She doesn't do that for relief. Rather, it's her main activity, as a one meter-high serial killer. How unfortunate we were to be in her path. ...Still, something's been bothering me with her. What she said to Stella...

If I live with a Mr.Man, after a while he becomes my Master and I can't ever ever betray him until one of us dies; Mr.Men at the lab called that "bonding", desu. Well since my birth I was meant to be eventually sold to a powerful Mr.Man in Japan, desu. I think it was a general, so they put military stuff in my room, along with failed prototypes, desu.

She was meant to be a pet, and yet they chose to raise her to be like that. Born to love, educated to kill. You know I consider feral jissous victim of lack of education. It's the same problem for that little one. Maybe she's a crazed killer, but at the core, she's just a young girl who never knew innocence. Thus, revenge is not what's needed. Quite the opposite, in fact... It's decided. Starting tomorrow, I'll search for her, and one day, we will stop her from killing ever again. Slaughter 8 – In the sniper's sight

Fuck fuck fuckitty-fuck fuck fuck. I won't soon forget just how retarded I was when I gave away my hideout to that jissou-fucker. I left a shit-ton of important things behind before leaving to another part of the town. The abandoned house was a once-in-a-lifetime chance at having my own home, so I pretty much had to improvise. Something you don't want to when it's near the end of December. I made my camp at the top of an unused water tower near a park. There were fences around it, and signs saying it was scheduled to be demolished in February. So I figured I had myself a new hideout until then. Nothing terrific though...I barely had enough stuff to resist the weather, and if I was protected from the wind in that small, dusty stock-room, it certainly wasn't so for the bone-chilling cold. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and some other stuff I found here, and stayed on a small cabinet, just before a window. Which had a fucking hole on it, of course. Naturally, I tried at first to cover it up, but then I saw the panorama. I could see a good part of the suburbs from there, as well as a rather large park, and some less remarkable places.. And then, another idea popped into my mind. After all, I still have my flashball sniper rifle.

There are several windows -all with a goddamn hole in them- in the room I'm in, so by moving, I can see a sizable portion of the city at the low cost of letting cold air enter my blanket. It's in the middle of the afternoon, and yet there's surprisingly few people in the streets. Looks like Mr.Men have little adventurous spirit when it snows. I do, however, see one of them braving the weather to inflict pain upon some jissouseki. There are already two corpses around him, and he's holding a big jissou mother by the hair, a shovel in the other hand. Is he going to...? Yeah, he flings her into the air and goes for the home-run ! Unfortunately, the ball explodes and doesn't go very far. Still, nice shot, Mr.Man ! I feel uncomfortable just pointing my scope to him, so I quickly go to the right. About 200 meters further, I see a mother jissou leading her shivering offspring down a street...

For style's sake, let's say I can read jissou lips.

"Faster, jissou-chan, de ! We're almost there, desu !"

A concert of "techi" soon followed. There were about eight kojissous of the same age, and one slightly bigger, holding a maggot. It was obvious they were freezing, and yet they apparently made a point of cheering up. All but the maggot-holding one were grouped together behind their mom, chanting something and almost keeping each other warm. The mother had a dirty outfit, indicating she definitely wasn't house-trained. In all probability, she had already devoured the oldest child's sisters. Still, that probably was the cutest family of feral jissous I had ever seen. The little procession was calmly marching through the snow, the mother doing the shoveling, and the others chirping behind her, swinging their heads from left to right according to the beat. "Techi, techi, techi, te ! Mama will find warm house, te !" They are beaming with hope and happiness. Some even close their eyes. "Techi, techi, techi, te ! Mr.Man will love us, te !"

You poor bastards, you don't even want to know what she's going to do to you once she finds a shelter. She stops a moment, looks at the other side of the street, and sees some kind of big box, with a yellow light coming from inside. It looks like a jissou head with square angles...Is that a Mr.Man-made jissou shelter ? Oh, come on, are crazy jissou-Mrs.Ladies really that malignant a tumor ? Anyway, the family has decided to enjoy this gift from the heavens. The mother checks out if any cars are coming, and raises her paw towards the other side.

"Jissou-chans, home is here, desu !"

And off they go. The road had mostly been cleared off, so they won't have any trouble crossing it in time. Heh. Not if I can help it. The sniping requires me to shut up and control my heartbeat as much as I can, but nonetheless, my head with filled with one particular, very on-topic chorus.

"You're in the sniper's sight The first kill tonight Time to die !"

The snowflakes are falling straight, meaning no pesky wind. Visibility is sufficient. Target moves at a normal pace. Agent PTLD, take the shot.

"You're in the bullet's way The White Death prey Say Goodbye !"

The foam bullet flies true. One second after I pull the trigger, the Jissouseki's tender skull is pierced right between her frontal hair and her right temple. Even as an adult, she's so fragile even a foam bullet, meant to be stopped by fucking human skin, goes all the way through, and bounces on the concrete below.

"DEG-" She falls on her left side, failing, by a very close call, to crush two of her daughters as collateral. The stupid midgets do, however, comically bump into their unfortunate mom. I reload. Click, clack. The downside of clean, stealthy assassination is that you don't get much lasting fun off of it. But don't you worry. This is jissouseki we're talking about. They don't quite grasp the meaning of that big, fleshy hole in the back of her green hood, and continue to chirp as they gently paw at her.

"Wake up mama, techi !"

"Home is almost here, techi !"

Through the blanket of falling snowflakes, a snowplow appears down the street, shoveling all the snow on the road to the sides. After all, snow is beginning to pile up again since this morning, this does warrant another ride. Its rotating light is on, and it does enough noise for anyone to be able to tell it's coming. And yet...

"Come on mama, we sleep in home, te !"

"Hungry, refu."

I zoom on the guy holding the steering wheel. There's no way he doesn't see the jissous. Green on white is usually pretty noticeable. Yet, the only response the jissou family's presence elicits from him is a nose-picking. I knew I could trust Mr.Men !

"Why is red on Mama's head, techi ?"

"Big thing coming, techi ! Must be rescue for mama, techi !"

"Yes, Mama needs waking up, Mr.Man will help, te !"

They all proceed to joyously jump in place, flailing their arms in the air to grab the driver's attention. And apparently it does. Just not the way they were expecting : The Mr.Man accelerates. By the time the nanoscopic nuggets in their brain in charge of common sense fire up, it's too late to run.

The mother goes first. She gets pushed by the giant shovel-thing at first, before her dress, and part of her belly's flabby skin gets caught under it and the ground. There's only a tiny opening, but it's sufficient for tender jissou flesh. Her legs, then her arms get caught, and she's silently crushed right before her daughter's eyes. Too bad she can't scream anymore, but I bet there will be more of that in a moment. The dead mother is grotesquely deformed, her belly halfway, and her limbs entirely under the snowplow. Her back rapidly begins to swell as her organs are pushed back like toothpaste in a tube. The children look at the phenomenon, without any idea of what's happening. They don't even have the time to complain before their mama's back explodes, coating all of them in green slime. And the snowplow continues. At last, they realize they have to get out of here. Ten trails of shit form on the snow as they run down the street, just like a looney tune character running forward when a tree falls on them, instead of just stepping aside. Tears fly through the air, terrified "teeeeeeen"s are covered by the engine's sound. For now they manage to outrun the slow vehicle, but the slime coating them is quickly wearing them down.

You know, sometimes I wonder if there's not a chicken and egg conundrum going on. One one hand you have jissou's utter stupidity. On the other hand, you have this explosive reproduction rate. The big question is : Which one was made to offset the other ? You'd say I would be able to know that, since my Dad created them, but...not really. Jissouseki are a pure product of bad luck and carefully planned projects gone awry. Even he probably hadn't any idea why any of those traits decided to get there.

The biggest child looks at the maggot in her hands, seems to wonder why the fuck she's still holding it, and...throws it right into the shovel. Shit, I understand the rationale behind that, but did you really have to be so cruel, you dingleberry ? I shoot her leg. Click, clack. She yelps, and falls on the ground. Her younger sisters run past her. She tries to call them for help, but even if they could hear, they wouldn't give it any consideration.

"Leg hurts, techi ! Help, techi ! I will give you lots of...CHUWA !" The shovel caught her. She tries to pull her leg out. "IT HURTS, TEGYA ! LET ME GO, TE..." She stops yelling when her organs are expelled through her mouth. Quite a sight to behold. It's a shame I'm not near her, to fully enjoy the performance. Soon enough, everything but her face is gone under the metallic shovel. Her skull is deformed, and she lets out one last silent scream, her eyes pulled upwards, her skin tearing off near the nose. Skinned alive, she flails her arms one last time before completely disappearing in a crushing sound. The children are still running forward, panting heavily, and obviously about to give up, even if they only had ran about 20 meters. The snowplow catches up dangerously quickly.

"Please stop, Mr.Man, te...chi ! We are down here, you know, techi ?!"

"Mr.Man is blind, teeeeen !"

"Hel...Help us, teeCHUWA !"

The snowplow claims its fourth victim. That fires up the survivor's bowels, and as they run, the stream of shit propels them upward every now and then, resulting in a cute little synchronized ballet of jissous with invisible jetpacks. With a horrible demise waiting for those who screw up. They run, they levitate, they cry...and in the end, they all die. The relentless snowplow then goes away, leaving behind a road free of snow, but smeared by blood and shit. I look at the jissou shelter the little shits were trying to go to. A bald-naked jissou was taking a look outside, no doubt to see why there was screams from kindred beings.

"Serves you right, desu !" She says, giggling, her paw on the chin, her eyes forming a smug inverted U. "This warm house is all mine, de ! It was given to me because I ha-" ...ve a bullet in the brain. Click, clack. Next.

Several minutes fly by without me finding any noteworthy places. That is, until I see a disgusting scene at the top of a skyscraper. An old Mrs.Lady holds an adult Jissou in her arms. The problem is that the goblin is uniquely hideous. It has been spoiled to the point of sickening cuteness. It is morbidly obese, and yet had somehow been changed into a smooth, loveable ball of fat you would want to hug just because it reminds you of a pillow. Plus she's wearing a pink padded jacket that was hiding a good part of her face. She wears a neat pink purse which screams "newly purchased'. And yet, she remains ugly. But, most insulting of all, she's happy. Her owner puts her on the balustrade, and firmly keeps her in place. The obese jissouseki shivers at first, but then her eyes begin to glitter at the sight in front of her.

"There is nothing to fear, Kristy !"

"Building is still high, Mrs.Lady, deee..."

"Just relax, pudding ! You have nothing to fear while I am here !" To prove her point, she removes her hands from her jissouseki's belly. Since there's no wind, the huge ball of crap does stay in place rather easily. Plus, a balustrade is easily broad enough for a jissou to stand on.

"Y...Yeah ! Kristy-chan is the queen of the world, te !"

Oh, give me a break. Titanic was bad enough, don't show it to jissous ! I reload. I maintain my breath again. I aim above the leg due to the angle...

"I am so happy ! I love you, mistress ! I will always be your beloveDEGYA !"

Seconds later, Kristy-chan's right leg is pierced by a foam bullet. The spoiled jissou loses balance. Click, clack. "Kristy ? What's going on ?!"

"Hurts, deeeen ! Help, deeeen !"

She flails her arms wildly, turns around to call her elderly mistress for help, but ultimately falls over. I smile. The old Mrs.Lady is fully aware of the situation. She quickly goes over the balustrade to try and catch her pet, but all she sees is the empty stare of a piece of coyote enema who's just about to experience a 200-meter freefall. Her eyes are colorless in the middle. Her hair flies upwards, hiding part of her face. The owner can see her usually pristine silky panties, getting greener and greener, and soon enough, rounder and rounder. Little droplets of tears can be seen in the air as gravity accelerates the packaged retard's way to her doom.

"Mrs...La...Dy ?" Was the last thing the retarded cray jissou mrs-lady ever heard. Her beloved pet, who she treated as her own child, became a mere point getting steadily smaller. Then, the impact. You drop a jissou, you get paste. You drop a jissou from the top of a fucking skyscraper, you get an olympic record in liver-flying. The padded coat didn't help one bit. A twenty-meter radius green circle can be seen on the street. The owner wouldn't even be able to gather enough shit to fill a shooter glass. Moving on.

David Kellan

The first thing I did was to warn my local jissou-loving internet community. A killer was on the run, and it was after our pets. I linked to the youtube video of the assassination and factory's arson as evidence. The second thing I did was to check the neighborhood. After twenty tries, I finally located a deserted house. The doors were carefully locked, but I was determined. I crowbarred my way inside. And boy, did I get a first-hand look into a jissou-abuser's den. The fridge was full of edible jissou products. Bags of fried babies, entire, vacuum sealed children, and even some adult's ears. The other part of the fridge contained lots of candies, and tupperwares full of sweet fluids such as jelly and something that smelled like honey. I always carry my poison-testing fluid with me. A lot of people put jissou poison into conditioned food at the supermarket for shits and giggles, so a Jissou owner cannot take any chances. The tupperwares were clean, oddly, but a lot of the candies were poisoned. In the cupboards, were tools and condiments for jissou cuisine. Did the crazy girl eat nothing but what she hates ? Talk about a fucked-up diet, at least Lecter enjoyed fava beans and excellent chiantis. Sure enough, somewhere in the room, I found a cage full of baby jissous. Alas, they were all dead, faces entirely blue and tongues sticking out. A basic poison spray was used. Obviously, Stella's torturer left without any intention of looking back. Another noteworthy thing was a cupboard near the plasma TV. It was mostly empty, but some things remained. Namely, weird blue, long cylinders made out of foam. One of the ends were slightly broader, making the stuff reminiscent of shotgun shells, but longer and narrower. They didn't bear any identification. I took one and left. On my way to the exit, I thought I could hear jissouseki yelling angrily and banging against something metallic. Jissouseki poltergeists ? Christ, I had to get out of here right away, and this I did.

Back home, I asked on the net if anyone had seen these peculiar foam objects. It's as good a lead as anything...

--- PTLD

The rest of the town was quiet. So I came back to the area where I was. After all, parks are known to shelter many Jissouseki. And as luck would have it, I could clearly see in the snow-clad park some obvious signs of a large jissouseki gathering nearby.

Through the scope, I saw, for the first time, what a large jissou shanty town looks like. Though this one was probably a special case. To fight against the snow, they had combined the usual cardboard box shelters with a bigger one, a shrubbery. The plant successfully protected the critters from the snow, providing some 200m² of habitable terrain. In a fabulous example of why "symbiosis" never goes hand in hand with jissous, they had torn out all the branches at their level in order to have more space. Little did they know, those branches would have been a magnificent cover against my rifle. I don't know about karma, but jissous' stupidity definitely always comes back to bite them in the ass. As for the shanty town itself, it was striving. They obviously have been here for a long time, and the freakishly fast population growth rate had been contained into that relatively small area. From the looks of it, there was easily 200 individuals, excluding the maggots. Some effort have been put into the cardboard boxes. Most were covered with random junk to improve insulation, some were adorned with random but somehow pretty junk, and I even saw a three-story building of sorts. There were two notable places which testified for a certain level of organization going on. First, there was a large pile of things gathered by scouts who boldly went into the unforgiving snow and safely return with dubious treasures. Three matriarchs then dealt with the pile to sort out useful things into several categories. According to the four piles, jissouseki can at least identify potential makeshift weapons, food, building material and toys. The second place was...Huh...The community's kitchen ? You can probably guess what was on the menu. And here I thought cannibalism wasn't all that popular in civilized groups.

Suddenly, something comes into sight from behind a carboard box. A big, naked jissou, with a flesh both obese and wrinkled, holding something in its arms. A large, throbbing, fleshy thing that seemed to come out of...her...crotch ? ...Fuck me running. The legends were true. At last, mine eyes bear witness to the fabled penis jissous. I nearly threw up, and had to look away from the scope for a minute. This shanty town had to be sterilized even more thoroughly than usual. Back to the penis jissou...It had picked up a child, and was proceeding to impale her on its giant wee. She screamed, flailing her arms to no avail, begging for help. None of her brethren did so much as batting an eye. But me...I couldn't look away. It had this hypnotizing-because-it's-horrible virtue. A mere ten seconds later, a white milky thing flew through the child's mouth, tearing off her tongue in the process. She stopped moving soon after that, and the penis jissou just...walked away. He didn't seemed concerned that there was someone on its member. Shit Mr.Man, I know jissous are disgusting but that's just too much. Have a bullet in the head. The monstrosity dies without uttering a word. It falls forward, squeezing its wee between he and the ground. The dying child spews milk through her mouth again, this time hitting a regular clothed adult. Who didn't seem to appreciate it. See turns to the impaled child.

"Who do you think you are, shit jissou, desu ?" She stomps on her, slowly crushing her head. The action had a weird tone of cold ruthlessness in it, where an angry jissou usually just throws a tantrum. I look at the killer.

She has sunglasses, and an unlit cigarette in her mouth. I blink. She still has sunglasses and an unlit cigarette in her mouth. What ? Her clothes are of the regular, if a little worn-out, kind, she's morphologically perfectly average, but she has a goddamn cigarette and goddamn shades.

"Let's go, anego, techi. Shit jissou has made us late, techi." Says some child with her frontal hair sticking forward.

The jissou spits on her victim, and proceeds. Okay, so Jissouseki have their yakuzas. Somehow, it strikes me as a positive thing. That doesn't makes it any less unbelievable, though. Sure, Jissou hierarchy is based on age and law of the strongest, but why imitate Mr.Men ? The boss and her underling go where the old jissouseki are sorting out stuff into stacks.

"So" says the boss to one of them. "Where is that wonderful thing, desu ?"

"Wait here, Ya-sama, desu." Respectfully answered the matriarch before going into a nearby group of boxes. She reappeared several moments later, pulling something heavy. The yakuzas didn't even consider helping her. I guess this eccentric young'un held more power than even the matriarchs. She came out with a big, green gas cylinder. What a coincidence, I know exactly what it is. It's from a pesticide factory I raided some time ago. Some new chemical with an effect as unusual as it is funny. I left one slightly open in the basement. I wouldn't want the little shits in the death maze getting rescued, after all. I guess the breach into the fence went unnoticed by Mr.Men. The colony had stumbled upon the wrong treasure... Slaughter 9 – In the sniper's sight (2/2)

In the center of my scope, I could see the yakuza jissou inspecting the gas cylinder. Clearly, they knew it wasn't just your average gizmo. But just as clearly, its exact use was flying way over their heads. The matriarch who brought the cylinder was panting in anticipation of an undeserved approval. The yakuza took her unlit cigarette in her left paw -I never understood how the fuck they manage that- and puffed a non-existent cloud of smoke. Then, she threw the fag away and put another one into her mouth. Sigh.

"Yes, we will have a doomsday device to frighten all our enemies, desu" says the yakuza after the supposedly cool gesture, as if you need a doomsday device to frighten jissouseki. Bah, whatever. I aim at the cylinder. Given the toxin's effect, punching a hole in it should be enough to seal the shanty town's fate.

"I'm gonna get chemical on your ass, desu !"

I shoot. Click, clack. And... … Nothing ? Hey ! Why isn't there any hole in the...... oh, right. Foam bullets. Well fuck. I settle for shooting away the safety pin, before realizing I had to bring back "impossible" into my vocabulary. I guess I will have to bet on the Jissouseki's stupidity to open the valve. I can wait all winter anyway. And I have an interesting sight which should nurture my hatred nicely.

They must have been there for quite some time, the town isn't just a bunch of cardboard boxes. Remember when I mentioned their uncanny tendency to emulate human behavior ? Well, nothing illustrates that better than this gathering. On top of a cardboard tower, a Jissou with blonde hair was being praised by a regular one, playing guitar with a comb. Somewhere the place most densely filled with cardboard boxes, an old, maimed Jissou preaches the dangers of cannibalism, which angers Mr.Men. In the kitchen, metal cages, obviously stolen from Mr.Men, are filled with unfortunate kojissous, waiting to be chosen and eaten. Some have been there for so long, they became adults. All are begging to be released, and all they get is to be struck by the warden's stick. Sure, it's a ghetto, but there is some sense to it. Law of the strongest and very strong survival instincts bind the otherwise grossly retarded individuals into a somewhat viable community. It's not something as perceptible as survival of the fittest, as they are all equally worthless. It's just that, given enough numbers, a Jissouseki community can climb up pretty high just by stacking enough bodies under them. Shit, they are self-sustainable just by crapping out enough shit and devouring it. No wonder even Antarctica can't take them out. Although that only solves one part of the problem, will you object. In winter, you need both food and warmth. Don't worry, they got that covered too.

"Refu !"

On the edge of the town, snow gently piles up on the foot of an adult Jissou, lying on her back. She's almost naked, save for her boots and hood. She stares at the leaves above her, mouth foaming and what's left of her arms shaken up by nervous spasms.

"Mama is good and warm, refu !"

A maggot rolls on its back, its little arms wriggling in the air. It's happy. It just had the greatest feast of its short life, and now it can enjoy a rest in a warm liquid. Like a dozen of its siblings, all getting comfortable in their mother's open belly, like real, actual maggots.

"S...top it, jissou-chans...cold, des..." Pleads the mother. Who knows what caused her own children to maul her like that...Probably just a broken leg. Her crystal is exposed, and one of the maggots, tainted red, gums on it a little. The gem won't shatter that easily, but the unlucky mom is still doomed : Another one of her babies is crawling into her mouth, causing her to slowly suffocate. A family passes by. The mother lets out a mocking laugh, and is promptly mimicked by her offspring.

"Ha, what a shit jissou mama, desu ! She was so bad, her babies eat her now, depupupu !"

The victim gargles, makes her last struggle attempt, and dies as shittily as she lived. The other gets all the more smug, confident that would never happen to her. Wanna bet, shitbag ?

"DEGYA !"

Click, clack. She falls, her leg crushed by the bullet. She looks baffled, and tries to get up as if she merely tripped. That's not going to happen though, the limb is pierced in the middle. Blood flows on the frozen soil.

"Is Mama all right, techi ?" Ask five separate children, cooing and gathering around their mother. She weakly answers that she's fine, and send them fetch some leaves to cover the wound. The children go, leaving only the maggots with her. In no time, the scent of blood entered the larvae's nostrils. In the tiny brain of these living beans, and regardless of how recent their last meal was, that translated into one of the three feelings they were capable of : Hunger. Like guided flesh missiles, they all crawled towards the wound, panting. When the older sisters came back, the maggots were all around the wound, gumming at the screaming mother's leg. "Help me, jissou-chans, desha ! Bad maggot-chans are eating me, desha !"

They drop the leaves, seemingly worried. And they do try to get the maggots off her. Alas...

"Hey, Mama does smell good, techi..."

Drool was leaked. One wail later, another living heater was created in the town.

I go back to the place where they gather junk. The Yakuza jissou was eating a rotten sandwich, looking away from the canister. Behind her, an obviously starving Jissou adult was sneaking. Her dress was utterly wasted, and her left orbit was empty. Possibly because of the wannabe Yakuza, because she was looking at her with both fear and anger. Demonstrating why the Japanese army had to quickly give up its project to train and weaponize Jissous, the waste of space muttered to itself.

"Depupupu ! Ya-sama's new toy will be broken, de !" Says she before not-so-stealthily trying to break the cylinder. Fortunately for her, her nemesis was too busy eating to notice her. After three attempts to kick it open, the one-eyed Jissou finally got to the valve.

Attagirl. The yakuza finally turns her head when she hears the sound of metallic friction. She rushes forward, but is too late, the gas has begun to leak in a high- pitched whistling sound. The burglar gets a mouthful, and she coughs, staggering backwards. Ya-sama immediately backs up. Ah, good old survival instinct.

"Hanta-chan ! We get out of here, desu !"

Her underling appears from behind a box, jumping, panties down. She doesn't demand explanations and follows her boss as fast as she can. I follow them as they rush through the kitchen, pushing aside a screaming adult with three hungry children biting her arms. The bystanders look at them, baffled.

"Is there danger, techi ?"

The yakuza-jissous don't answer, and quickly arrive at the edge of the town.

"Anego, must we really go through the snow, techi ?" "The weapon has been released, all of Jissou-town is in danger, desu. Let's hide in that big building over there." She points at the tower where I am myself hiding. Bah, let them come. I have a sight to behold. As they begin their journey through the snow, a thick mist created by the aerosol is invading the town. A large part of it is preventd by the foliage from going up. It obviously has a foul smell. Jissous, surprisingly, hate when something that isn't their shit stinks. They quit whatever activity they were engaged on, and try to evade the mist. Sadly, the cylinder continues to leak, sending more and more droplets into the air. Soon, all the town is covered. The matriarchs begin to scream orders before a riot breaks out. Panicked, the jissous follow them, trampling the layer of maggots. Most children survive, some with their favorite maggot sisters in their arms. A few minutes later, most of the town is gathered in an improvised central plaza, at the expense of a dozen makeshift homes.

There is a cacophony of questions, all revolving around the subject of "what the fuck is happening". Well, except from the "Belly soft and springy, please rub, refu !" and "Hungry, techi" which can pretty much be considered as the jissou civilization's official soundtrack.

"Please, listen to us, desu ! There is no reason for panic, nobody is harmed, desu !" "But Mama stepped on my favorite maggot-chan, techi !" "Listen, we must wait together, if anyone tries to attack us in the fog, we will defeat them, de !"

Cheers in the crowd. They're right, in a way. Given enough numbers, few predators can take out a jissou herd. Because their anger fangs can prove quite sharp, of course, but it's more thanks to sheer numbers and an unlimited supply of throwable shit, really. Soon after, a child utters a "Tee ?". The apprehension in this vocalization lowered the ruckus a little, many jissous turning their heads toward the event.

"Maggot-chan is weird, teee..."

In her arms, the little green slug is jerking around, all fangs bare, barking and spitting in a high-pitch tone that doesn't make the scene any less creepy. Its eyes are both red, but of an unusual, very dark shade. It jerks around so well, the kojissou lets it drop on the floor.

"Maggot-chan, what is wrong, desu ?"

It doesn't answer. Instead, it barks some more and crawls hastily towards her sister. So hastily, in fact, that I think its primitive bone structure is threatening to snap under the pressure. The concerned kojissou reaches her arm toward it, and, unsurprisingly, gets bitten.

"Chuwa ! Maggot-chan does not let go, techa !"

Few, if not none, go to her rescue as she flails her arm around. Indeed, they noticed what was going on. Around the circle of juveniles and adults, all the maggots that hadn't been crushed were crawling toward them, angrily barking louder than their lungs can usually muster. It was a sea of little slugs gathering everything around them with a cacophony of pure rage. The group was surrounded. Even the matriarch's orders couldn't be heard anymore. The maggots' tiny size did nothing to comfort the Jissouseki. Obvious physical disadvantage or not, the maggot army was just pants-shittingly creepy. None were talking, but if they were, it would probably had gone something like this :

"Belly soft and squishy, please rub it FROM THE INSIDE refu !"

Jissouseki maggots are three words away from being awesome. As the brilliant problem solvers they are, the Jissouseki ask the incoming maggots what's wrong. It took a dozen of bites for them to finally begin the stomping any Mr.Man would have thought of at this point. The fight is quite unilateral. A maggot, no matter how mad he is, is still the larva of the shittiest creature to ever walk the Earth. Only the kojissous occasionally get bitten, by misplaced empathy and lack of strength.

"They are all ill, desu, we must send them to paradise, de !" Were chanting the matriarchs. "Be brave, they are almost cleansed, de !"

Bravery or not, the numbers were clearly failing, until it reached the point where all the maggots would have been stomped to death if the crowd had dispersed. They were already celebrating their victory over their shit babies... When another bark, stronger and lower pitched, interrupted them. Of course, a toxic gas that only affects maggots isn't any fun.

"What's happening, Jissou-chan, de ? Evil maggot-chan teeth hurt, de ?" "Tech...grrrAARGH !" "What, desu ? Do not look at me like...DEGYA !"

I guess she must be quite surprised to feel her daughter's teeth plunged into her throat. Around her, more and more kojissous are engulfed by the same rage that drove the maggots to their poorly thought assault. No words could be heard from them, just the feral growl. The mothers can't believe their eyes. Their so, so cute jissou-chans, attacking them before they themselves had the chance to eat them ?

"Let me go, you shit jissou, desu !" "MY DAUGHTERS ARE EATING ME, DECHA, I"

The kojissous are three to five times smaller than their mothers, but still greatly outnumber them. This time, among the crowd, I can see several Jissouseki with bitten-off faces falling to the ground, shit bubbling out of their panties. One of the matriarchs was guarding her family and now lacks part of her left leg. At the edge of the town, the two dead mothers are being torn to pieces by juvenile jissous coated in blood. Cardboard boxes are being crushed by kojissous, alive ones unleashing their rage, or dead ones thrown away by their mothers. Regardless, the shanty town is quickly falling apart. Most of the adults are in a state of panic, trying to both calm down their offspring and chase them away. Some are already enraged at the familial treason, tearing apart twitching bodies. Some are just scared shitless and try to hide. In the kitchen, the few adults trapped in cages scream for help, covered in bloodthirsty younger cellmates. They are hitting the bars, but they are too solid, and they only manage to crush their paws into a pulp, attracting even more children. A male Jissou runs frantically, five kojissous eating its dick as if it was made from konpeitos that magically grants a good house and an army of devoted Mr.Men to the one that eats the fastest. The member has holes so big, blood and semen leaks from them, causing the abomination to lose its boner for the first time since it was born. Somehow, it seems the Jissouseki is more frightened by this that everything else, and ignores the cannibalistic kojissous, rather stroking its dick with the energy of despair, tears flowing and mouth left wide open by a silent wail. Alas, it fails, and the enormous cock, now halfway eaten, is deflating like a pierced balloon. Looking beaten and desperate, getting increasingly bluish, the male jissou falls on the ground.

"Please, jissou-chans, lick my dick, deee..."

Its ple -fortunately- is not answered. The aberration lets out a soul-tearing wail. As its eyes become dull, as its purpose in life is getting away, it makes a last, heroic attempt at recovering its sex drive. It tries to reach the receding member with its mouth... The bullet literally fired itself.

I missed a good deal of the show as I was busy puking on the floor. God, I don't think I will ever be able to get used to those monstrosities among monstrosities. Five minutes have passed, and I re-adjust my scope before getting back to the shanty town. I can see three mister men walking up the hill. They wear hazmat suits, and carry some sort of fire extinguishers. Exterminators. If I ever have a Master, I want one like that. They haven't put on their hood yet, and thus I can see their faces. They seem to know there's a jissou town up ahead, and seem thrilled at that prospect. In a transparent bag are already some bodies, one of which I recognize as the bald-naked one I headshotted when it ventured its head outside of the shelter.

"Okay, they said it was under that big shrubbery, we're almost there...Ah, I can already see some." "Yeah, they're rushing towards us. No, you rotten bollocks, we won't take you home !" "They never understand...Bah, we like them that way, so..." "Wait a second...Why are they screaming like that ? Be ready boys."

The first adult to get within range gets a healthy cloud of fast-acting poison. It falls face first on the snow, quickly suffocating in an awful concert of whistling death throes. That doesn't deter the other three, that continue running at full speed, yelling at the top of their lungs without asking anything about a home. Sure enough, they all die within ten seconds.

"That was weird. Better be careful when we hit the town, we..." One of the exterminators points a finger towards the shrubbery. They look, and see adults pouring out of it. Dozens of them. Some with their paws, legs and mouth covered in blood. All yelling in a mindless rage. The ground is trembling, the snowy white hill is turning green, the air fills with the stench of shit.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN ?!"

28 seconds later, the wave is upon the exterminators, who are spreading poison gas like crazy. Right now they wonder if aren't against the Jissou equivalent of the Thermopylae, enhanced by a delightful Left4Dead flavor. But soon they will discover a shanty town devoid of life, but filled with the acrid smell of a dangerous chemical. And after that, the city hall will be informed of this unusual event. They will investigate. And I'll be forced to leave this place, all because of one stupid Jissou with ideas of vengeance. Okay, I wished for it. But when I have to leave some place hastily, at least let it be my fault !

As I finish packing up my stuff, the exterminators are leaving, not even bothering to clean the hill from all the asphyxiated corpses. Suddenly, someone enters the room.

"Who are you, desu ?"

Oh, it's only the yakuza Jissou and her underling.

"Answer, techi ! You are in the territory of the powerful Ya-sama, te !" Screeches the kojissou. *sigh* "You know, you're kinda cool for Jissous, so I'm going to give you something I never offered to any jissou before, desu." "And what would that be, desu ?" Says, defiantly, the shanty town's only surviving adult.

I grin.

"A headstart, desu."

------

The night falls. Two more corpses are lying in the snow. Quietly, PTLD leaves the water tower. Where to go ? It's still winter, and she can't find a suitable shelter at a moment's notice. Plus, there's no telling if this crazy Jissou-Mrs.Lady is tracking her down or not. As she's lost in her thoughts, she doesn't see the lights when she crosses the street. The loud screeching of car brakes can be heard. Final Slaughter - No Country for Jissous (1/3 : There's no place like Home)

My investigation was completing itself : The girl wasn't exactly discreet. The little blue cylinders were actually bullets, unable to kill a human but perfectly able to wreak havoc on any Jissouseki's fragile body. It didn't take me very long to discover it. Remember Mrs. Fey ? Fortune -or rather misfortune- put her in the way of the one-meter tall psychopath, when playing with her Jissouseki on a building's rooftop. God rest Kristy's soul. And as luck would have it, the day after her assassination, I saw in the news that the same cylinders were found on the location of an unexplained event. A Jissouseki town entirely afflicted with mass hysteria. Analysis (assisted by common sense) proved the bullets weren't the culprits, but that didn't stop me from doing some investigation myself. It turned out the team of exterminators missed two frozen jissou corpses, some 100 meters away from the shanty town. An adult and a child, both with their legs crushed by foam bullets. Judging from the trails of fecal matter, the abuser didn't even have the decency to kill them quickly. A simple comparison of the three events later, I knew Bibbie, Nana, Mimy and Fiona's killer had been firing some kind of sniper rifle from inside the park's water tower. A good start. Unfortunately, the trail ended here. She didn't leave anything at the water tower, and the snow covered her footprints. The best I could to was going back home.

"Ah, Stella, did you sleep well ?" "Yes, the floor is perfect for a shit jissou like me, desu."

Based on that simple answer, you can guess what home is like since the...happening. My daughter and I are very sympathetic, but Stella is in severe PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder, not project transcended sadistic doll). We can't get her to enjoy any perks of a pet jissou's life. She's adamant about wearing tattered old green dresses and soiled panties, eating only her own dejections, and sleeping in the most uncomfortable place available. Fortunately, inside, she's still our $5000 pet. Despite all these antics, she always clean after herself and never goes beyond her panties' critical capacity. Over time, she'll heal. I leave her, and go to my computer. No news among the little group I managed to bring together for the hunt. I guess everything can't fall right into your hands when your life isn't written by a scenarist.

"Heya girl, how are you doing today ?"

...What in the name of...

"Get up, you little scoundrel, it's already 9 am !" I open my eyes. Behind the glass stands a familiar figure. Nick. One of the scientists who created me. Shit. I'm back at the lab.

"Come on, your Dad is waiting."

Dad ?! I get up instantly. He's alive ? Where is he ? How could this happen ? Questions flood my mind, but my confused mouth only stammers. Nick winks, and opens my cell's door. I run into the corridor. I turn my head around. And finally I see him. His wrinkled, asian face is not exactly sparkling with energy, but to me, right now, he looks so radiant. My light body bumps into his.

"Daad ! I'm so g...glad you're here, desuuuuuuuuuu !" "Dear, dear, you sure seem happy to see me today. Something the matter ?" "Of...of course there's matter, desu ! You were d..d..d..deee~..." I can only sigh as I feel his hand stroking my hair. Tears are dripping from my chin. It's always like this. I can hate him all I want about him making me say this shit at the ends of my sentences, but when he's here, I'm just a maggot that's getting its belly rub. It's the Bonding at work. And right now, it feels fucking wonderful.

"Rechi !"

What ? All the light is gone. I'm in my old cell alright. But someone made a serious makeover of the place. Back in the day, it was a white, sterilized room with all the comfort a human child can ask for. (You'd best like watering cans and beds shaped like suitcases though. Dad never really let go of that Suiseiseki thing.) Now, it's kind of like...an altar ?

"The goddess is awake, rechi !"

It's dark. The only source of light is the dancing flames of a bunch of candles on my left. I'm on some kind of gurney. There is food on my right. Mostly half-rotten fruits, energetic bars, and loads of konpeitos. For obvious reasons, I'd rather die than admitting it out loud, but I fucking love these weird little candies. I try to reach for one, when a sharp pain suddenly radiates in my lower chest. "Do not move, goddess, rechi ! You are hurt, rechi !"

Alright, what's this fucking noi... Oh. Just behind the food, a healthy contingent of thumb-chans are kneeling before me. Somehow, they immediately strike me as civilized. Their eyes don't reflect anything usually related to feral jissous. They are bowing in respect. They're probably not aware I'm a blight to their kind.

"You are finally awake, just as Mama told, rechun !" "Mama found you on the street, badly hurt. What she said ? Un-con...scient, re ?" "Unconscious, re !" "Food is for you, Goddess, rechi !"

You know what, Mr.Man ? For all the hate I have for Jissouseki, I always had a soft spot towards thumb-chans. I don't know, they're too immature to have the irritating primitive Jissou cunning, but smart enough to talk and act somewhat normally, unlike their maggot counterparts. Add the cute clumsiness of a baby, and among all the Jissou kingdom, thumb-chans are universally the most likeable. Too bad they don't last more than one week before turning into regular kojissous.

"Very sweet of you, little ones, but it really hurts, desu. Could you bring the food to my mouth, desu ?"

For once, this isn't a scheme. I'm really starving, and the pain is paralyzing me. Guess I'll have to rely on the thumb-chans. Fortunately, they accept diligently, and begin to feed me. Their little procession is really funny. They trip, struggle to carry even the smallest konpeito, but manage to succeed without any casualties. Of course, I can't tell them my favorite food is Jissouseki, so this will have to do for the moment.

"I...can't remember, desu. How was I hurt, desu ?" "We do not know, resun..." "But you have mean thing near heart, reeen !"

What ? I look down. ...Thrice blessed grandmother of fuck. There's an iron bar sticking out of my chest, just below my left breast. No wonder it hurts. Ten centimeters higher, and my heart was toast. Whatever happened had left me in poor shape. I was probably out cold for a while. I feel lightheaded... ------

David Kellan

More than a week later, I saw something in the newspaper. "Body of child victim of a hit-and run-incident still not found" It happened the night after the shanty town incident. Someone saw a car hit a child as he was closing the shutters. By the time he ran down the building, both the car and the body had disappeared. According to his testimony, the child was wearing green clothes, had brown hair, and was carrying a backpack and a heavy belt. I didn't hesitate long before going to the reported location : It was near the park where I knew "she" had been.

It was a residential area, with some shops here and there. I searched for one hour, finding nothing but feral jissouseki asking for, no, demanding a home. I give them candy, and I'm already far away by the time they're finished. Of course, I shouldn't expect things to run right in front of me.

"Courage, jissou-chans, de !"

Ah. Something IS running in front of me. An entire family of Jissousekis. Although, statistically speaking, that must happen quite a lot. The Mama, sporting a huge scar on her face and a missing arm, is ordering her daughters around. They are carrying a toy, one of these water rifles that were all the rage back in the 90's. Its tank has crackles in it, probably because the water in it turned to ice. They notice me just before they run into my leg. The Mama takes a defiant pose.

"Leave us alone, Mr.Man, desu ! We are just peacefully gathering things for our home, de !" "Don't worry" I say as I step aside. "I'm no abuser. Carry on !"

They do without further ado. Quite evidently, the Mama is abuse-hardened, and learned that harassing humans almost always result in tears. Sound knowledge, unfortunately pretty rare among her kind. She and her children go to the nearest park. Good luck finding any use for that broken toy...Ah, feral Jissous and their urge to collect junk. Hey, they could be terrific street cleaners if someone got rid of the excessive defecating. … ...Wait a goddamn second here.

------

PTLD I'm no longer in my old room. The thumb-chans are slowly pushing the gurney, grunting from the effort. Unlit neon bars are running before my eyes. Now that I'm aware of it, the thing lodged under my chest emits waves of pain at the slightest movement. In the distance, I think I can hear the screeching voices of jissou children. As the noise closes in, I can hear a thundering wave of high-pitched chants of joy. Obviously, the building when I spent most of my days is now utterly invaded by these disgusting critters. The joy of having my childhood crapped over worse than the time where you saw Calvin being buttraped by Hobbes on the net notwithstanding, this situation completely boggles my mind. I didn't exactly count the days, but when I was in the water tower, it couldn't have been more than three months since I escaped. They were doing fine then. How could this happen ?

"Because you're trying too damn hard !" "What do you mean, Mister Nick, desu ?"

He's behind the glass. They're always behind the glass. They don't want the Bonding to Dad to be fucked up by the promiscuity of other Mr.Men. Plus, when I'm in the arena, you generally want to be out of reach from the shit and the blood.

"I mean, your punches are strong, you really put your heart into this, but you're straining yourself in the long run. Plus they are less solid than styrofoam ! Don't overdo it, that's all."

As always, I wear a white blouse, or else my dress would get so wasted, no amount of washing could recover it. People can whine all they want about the staining abilities of jissou shit, but generally, when they abuse, it's from a safe distance given their height and tools. I, on the other hand, am punching, wrestling and mauling the shit out of the green goblins from an entirely privacy-invading distance.

"DeDEdededeDEdededeDEdede..."

Another mutant wobbles haphazardly into the room. It was born two hours ago, given growth serum while being propped and scanned from every conceivable angle by the scientists, and released into my office, where I'm holding the proud occupation of living slaughtering machine. It was created by a machine scrambling jissou genotype and spewed into the world just to see if this random mutation could be used as a step towards the initially intended Living Doll. The hopeless bastard has its mouth bent towards the left, and obviously has trouble articulating. Which would be a problem if it had a functional brain, which was all but improbable seeing how its cranium was flat. Its long, thin arms are wobbling and jerking all around the place. And, best of all, even its clothes had been improperly delivered, its panties proudly decorating its head. Such a specimen was already hard to come by, but there was no way in hell it could have survived until adulthood in the wild. My job is like being a critique for mutants so horrible, they are rejected by the universe itself. None ever got past one star out of five. I use the console embedded in the wall to resume the Hammerfall soundtrack, and I pounce at the stammering horror. "And here is the Goddess, desu !"

The arena, too, is black, lit only by a couple of candles. More than a hundred jissous are looking at me. Their eyes, they're almost glowing in the dark. Above the crowd, standing on a cardboard box, is an old Jissou in a white, plain dress.

"Rescued from the streets where the infernal machines of Mr.Man had left her to die, we true believers brought her holy avatar to safety and she is now awakened desuuuu !"

She was talking like a religious leader, looking mystically into the air. The crowd, evidently, was completely under her influence. Gasps of awe ran through it, back and forth, each time she accentuated her words.

"Thus sayeth the tentacle, "Verily, thou shalt rejoice in the house of the tentacle." Desu."

Tentacle ? This turd must be saying movie quotes now.

"Speak, oh, Goddess, techi !" Says a kojissou. Despite her mother grounding her for interrupting the old coot, her suggestion is approved by everyone. "Yes, she must speak, de !" "We want to know how to have more candy, te !" "Punipuni, please rub, refu !"

Soon, the entire crowd is calling for a speech. The leader, however, stays silent.

"All right, all right, shut up, desu !" The clutter falls down. "I'm hurt all over, but I guess I should thank you for saving my ass, desu."

They all tilt their heads. Dumbasses. I hear the thumb-chans mumbling about how I'm hurt, and give me one more konpeito. Hey, they are actually useful.

"When I'm completely recovered, I promise I will help you believers, desu. But right now I want to know something. How did you get into this building, desu ?" "It was open, desu !" Says the leader in a penetrated tone. About as useful as I should have expected.

The next five minutes were wasted trying to get the one question that would yield the answer I was looking for. Meanwhile, I can hear some in the crowd saying that I was pretty disappointing as an all-powerful Goddess. Other than that, they were showing remarkable self-control, sitting here quietly without leaving to get some food. Two thumb-chans are massaging my temples. Not useful, but thoughtful of them. "Listen, old one, when you entered, what was inside, desu ?" "Not much, desu ! There were not any Mr.Men so I and my followers chose this as our home. It was big, but no food was inside aside from a dry stuff that did not taste good, desu. So we gathered everything we could near there, desu." "Yeah, I bet, desu...What was the dry stuff ?" "I do not know, desu. It was grey, in a jar on the top of a big brown wood thing. As the leader, I ate it all. But it..."

I give no attention to the rest of her ramblings. My eyes have widened so fast I must have strained a muscle. All the furniture in the facility was white. Except for one place.

"You...you...desu."

I force myself to get up. The pain in my chest gets stronger, and I feel the metal grinding my internal organs. This hurts. This fucking hurts !

"Dee ? What is the goddess doing, desu ?" "Stop, Goddess, you will be hurt, techi !" "Please rub belly, soft, refu !" "Do you want us to get you something, rechi ?"

I trip, and fall on my knees near the wall. I grunt when I reach my arm forward to the cabinet. Fortunately, the lock prevented them from messing with it.

"The Goddess was moved by the Priestess's story and wants to give us the candy inside, de !"

Cheers are resonating, pulsing through my body, adding fuel to the fire in my chest. The most searing flames, however, are not due to pain. They were the children of pure, all-consuming fury. The one room in the entire building with brown wooden furniture is Dad's apartment. They broke into it. They put their paws on his belongings. They messed with the delicate order of his stuff, probably breaking his collection of porcelain dolls. They spread their shit on his Persian mat. And they.

"What's this noise, desu ? Candy does not click like that, desuu..."

Fucking. "Hey, Goddess, what are you doing, techi ?"

"G...Goddess, why lock the door, dee ?"

HIS ASHES.

"D...Dechaaaaaaaaaaaa !"

The shotgun blast sends the priestess flying to the wall, and I hear the sharp sound of a spine cracking. Blue invades the whole crowd, tongue hang out, the scent of shit fills the air. After an endless silence, the ominous sound of a firearm rearming resonates in the room, but they stay still. I limp slowly towards the back of the room, stomping maggots on my way. The priestess is letting out a muffled wail, paralyzed by the impact. I stand silently over her, staring, the back of my mind trying to think of something to say. Of a punishment suitable for her crime. But nothing comes. Her wrinkled forehead meets the cannon of the shotgun. There is another blast. And another. And another. Each booming noise hurt the Jissouseki's frail ears, and some maggots die in a hiccups. And I shoot again. My entire being is in the finger pulling the trigger as fast as it can. This focus eases the pain. I pull and I pull and I pull. Her body is nothing but paste. But her soul is still wailing. BANG. BANG. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. I see Dad in my mind's eye. His soothing smile, his melancholic eyes. I want to feel his hand in my hair. I want to tell him how many Jissouseki I've killed. To finally be able to heal his soul from the guilt of having created them. Click. Click. Click...Click...... Click...... Click. I drop the empty gun.

"This dry stuff...was your actual God, desu."

Their eyes reflect nothing but fear.

"You blasphemed just by existing, but you shits will never be satisfied until you have ruined every last piece of what is sacred in this world, desu."

The red hot pain only grows stronger. "Die, desu."

Finally, they panic. Mamas trample their children. Children throw away the maggots. The maggots die either by heart failure or being trampled. I go to the console. I select the music menu. Manowar. Warriors of the World. Track #9. In a corner, the thumb-chans are trembling, crying all the tears in their bodies. I ignore them. When the first riff breaks out, I scream.

------

David Kellan

Why hadn't I thought of that earlier ? The article said there wasn't anyone present during the hit-and-run incident. Of course, that only applied to people. At any place, at any time, there are Jissouseki. And this night, those present found an unconscious girl that somewhat looked like them. Either they ate her, or brought her back to their colony. No corpse was found, so only one possibility remained. The rest was just figuring out which colony. ...Courage, David. There are only 6% of Jissou-infested buildings.

------

It was a massacre. The poor Jissouseki had nowhere to run from the fist of an angry Goddess. The loud music was too much for their ears, and they were running in circles, trapped into the arena, pressing their ears against their skulls.

Hands of doom are reaching out, to crush all infidels who stray Time to know the pain, no time to run within And these hands you see before you will end the light of day Your ashes will be cast into the wind

"Mama, mama, why does the door not open, teeeeen ?" "Mean Goddess has put a spell on it, desu. But Mama has a plan, de !"

The children chant from joy, and they follow their mother. They run past three maimed children, five crushed maggot-chans still puking out their last organs, and one freshly decapitated mama whose belly was beginning to swell up. The severed head flies over them, and mows down a crying kojissou trying to wake her baby sister up. The little group has only walked 10 meters, but had to swerve through the bodies of their friends, their cousins, all dead without being able to resist. Some do, though. Another mama and her three children are biting the Goddess's legs. She doesn't care. In her fury, she shrugs off even the bar impaling her. It's only when her gaze meets the resisting mama's that she turns her attention to them.

Your blood's upon the soil, your body fed to wolves Not one of you will be left alive Hear the sound, pounding, and the army of the night By the hammer of Thor you now shall die !

"R...run daughters, I will protect your esDEGYAA LET ME GO DEG-"

The kojissous are too shocked to move, their fight or flight mechanism just plain shutting down before the sight of their beloved mama being ripped in two, vertically, starting from her crotch. The goddess lets out an ear-shattering scream, wordless but full of meaning. She holds one half of the jissou in each hand, and sends the three kojissous flying in one single sweep. Their last sight before everything went to black was the dull eyes of their mother, her mouth twisted in a silent scream.

Tonight we strike, there is thunder in the sky ! Together we'll fight...and some of us will die They'll always remember that we made a stand And many will die by my hand !

The stench of horrified shit was thickening the air, and the sounds weren't anything less than the new hit in Hell. There was the song, powerful, nauseating in its intensity. There was the scream, so full of hatred that it drained the wills of the Jissouseki, pinning in place every attempt at struggling. Each second, another jissou gave up, just standing in place, panting, shitting maggots out, looking upwards in a silent prayer to a non-existent benevolent God. It was the scream that extinguished all hope. There was the wailing of the damned, of their sisters, mothers and daughters maimed beyond repair, yet unlucky enough to still be alive. The cries of despair of those without limbs, those with a huge hole in their chest, those whose crystal had fallen off and was slowly shattering before their very eyes. There were, finally, the calls of the newborn, expelled from dying mothers, full of hope, joy, that sounded like a cruel joke in a place where the only thing alive was Death itself.

"Quick children, deee..."

Our heroes are in a corner, hastily working, but unable to completely detach their eyes from the Angel of Death. They gathered bodies and piled them together. Not one second did they stop shitting, aware that if the Goddess's eyes fell upon them, she would tear them apart instantly. The number of alive jissous drop dangerously, soon they will be the last alive. Even her maidens...The Priestess said, those who are born looking like Mr.Men are fated to serve Her. Yet she didn't even show mercy to them.

"Goddess is so mean, teeeen !" Cried a child with a keen sense for euphemisms. "Quiet, it is ready, desu !" Quickly, the little family bury themselves under the pile of bodies. It's suffocating, but it's their only hope. They stay here, silent but shivering, and only one of the children had a slight opening to see the slaughter from. They had dodged a bullet. It was done. All the others were dead or on their way. The Goddess was now silent. Blood trickled from her wound, but she continued to walk. Newborn maggots hadn't yet learned how to speak, and let out cute little sighs, gazing at the tall figure in joyful expectation. Nothing was wrong in the world. There was plenty of food around them, they were in a big house, and soon the big Mother would reach for them, and in a warm, friendly smile, she would rub their bellies. Oh, how good that will feel ! They already know what it would be like. A warmth, powerful, soothing, peeling away the slight but ever present sensation of pressure in their tummies, making them, for a few divine seconds, the center of the universe. Yes, that would feel good. That would...feel... So.....cold. Coldly, methodically, the Goddess stepped on the maggots. It didn't take very long, the ignorant babies crawling towards her in complete confidence.

"Wh...What is happening, te ?" Whispered the beholder's sister. "Everyone dead, teeen...Must be silent, teeeen..."

The Goddess inspected the room, finishing whoever hadn't crossed the pearly gates yet. But it is fine, the child thought. Their hiding place was perfect. She would never notice. Never. Mama's plan is flawless, everything is... No, Goddess-sama, not this way ! You are going to mama's perfect hiding place ! Jissou-chan put her stumps on her mouth when she realized she was panting. Her heart was racing, it was getting painful. Dizzy...

I see the fear you have inside, you can run but never hide I will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb

Teee ? Was it the Goddess, or the invisible Mr.Man ? It...it is not true ! Jissou-chan and her family are safe ! She could only see her feet. She was just over them. She could hear the Goddess’s breath, heavy, full of pain. Go away, Goddess-sama ! You must leave Jissou-chan cute family alone ! The heartbeats grow faster. The child felt nauseous. Can she really kill them ? Would she really be this cruel ?

Nothing shall remain, not your memory or name It will be as though you never, ever lived

Just as her heart is about to go over the edge, the feet limp away.

"Techuuuuuun..."

They are saved. The Goddess unlocks the door. Pheeeeew... Just before leaving, the Goddess opens one pocket of her weird belt, and takes a box. A scratch his heard. She flicks a little thing over her shoulder before disappearing in the corridor.

"What is happening, Jissou-chans, desuuu ?"

The match hits the ground soiled with shit. What did Mama say about their shit ? In-fla-ma-bel ? The child's face goes entirely blue. Once again, Hell takes hold of the place.

------

Damn. My best score yet, and I wasn't even conscious enough to enjoy it. I guess berserkergang isn't a myth. I grunt. The painkilling effect of my rage fades away, and my dress is tainted brown by the blood. Shit, shit, shit ! My first true injury and I have no idea how to fix it. The heartache about Dad's undeserved fate does not help at all. I guess I'll have to rely on what they left of this place. There has to be some kind of medical bay. A shame I was never allowed to go anywhere by myself. Plus, this wasn't a public place, so there wasn't a lot of directions on the wall. So I wander. Everything has been shut down. Most of the equipment has been destroyed. Worse, the damage is too great for Jissouseki to be the cause. Speaking of which, the cult I just wasted wasn't the full extent of the colony. Far from it. A jissou with a missing eye asks if I have a pet. I don't answer, pick her up and devour her alive. Her wail comforts me somehow, as does the peculiar taste of raw jissou. Mr.Men find it revolting when there's still shit inside but, I don't know, I find it gives a flavor that's kind of not so bad, as long as you don't go bite into the digestive track. After some time, and a set of stairs that put my body on fire, I'm in some kind of hall. Plenty of jissous there. And even if I can't distinguish everything, I can tell there are some mutants into the lot. Maybe they were confined here by the cult ? Anyway, I'm not in good enough shape for another rampage, so I take the stealth route. I'm covered in jissou shit, that should hide the scent of my blood. I run past the herd enjoying a jissou-based feast. Apparently, there's also some fucking involved. How disgusting. From behind a desk, I can only see so much of the place, but so far, nothing medically related. The only thing of value is a big reinforced metal door labed "Emergency vault". No use trying to get into that now, though, let's contin... I bump into some kind of pillar. It's weird. Big, round, made of some kind of springy matter, kind of warm. I poke it, no answer.

"SUUUuUUuuuuUUUuuu"

...Apart from that. It came from above, what's... … I fall backwards and let out a terrified squeal. This a jissou. An enormous jissou. Bigger than a Mr.Man. With its dressed knitted where its head should be. What in the name of... No time to wonder. The thing growls again, and attempts to grab me. I clumsily dive between its legs, treating myself to another wave of pain, only this one pins me down. Come on, PTLD, get up, get up, get...GYAH ! With a single kick, that thing sends me flying. I hit the wall. I yell. Blood flows out of my mouth. And my body still won't respond.

"WaaAAnt TOOoooYYY DSUuuUUU"

Fuck fuck fuck fuck MOVE ! I can only crawl. I hear the herd mocking me. "Depupupupu !" You pieces of shit, you won't be laughing when I...

"GoOOOt tOOOyyYYyiiiii DuuuUUU"

...What ? No. NO ! The behemoth takes the bar...and pulls it out. I nearly faint from the pain, squealing like a tortured kojissou. The monster laughs. Apparently it got what it wanted. Good, because the regular jissous are closing in on me, and I'm nowhere near recovering from the shock.

"Trance !"

Now's not the time for an hallucination, brain ! I... To my right, the vault opens. Behind it, I can see Nick. That's not an hallucination. I gather my last strength, and run into it. I wake up God knows how much time later. Nick is still behind the glass. I still have a hole in my chest. But he got me somewhat patched up. Meaning a bandage, and that's it. I still won't make it without true medical attention. Yet, he is still behind the glass. Come on, would it hurt you to stay by my side for a while ?

"Hello, girl."

The young scientist looks at me with a sad, tired eye.

"I saw you on the CCTV system when they first took you here. I'm the only one left in this god-forsaken place."

No time for formalities, hey ? Fine by me.

"What happened here ? We had security systems, desu ! Where is everybody ? Did that monstrosity kill them, desu ?" "Oh no", he says, weakly chuckling. "They just offed themselves. As for the invasion, it's because they cut off our electricity. This place is run by a generator. I have to pedal ten minutes every four hours. It's pretty nerve-wracking at night."

Power shut down ? By who, the jissous, the scientists, or the authorities ? What on earth happened to this place ?

"But how did this happen ? There wasn't anything illegal going on, was there, desu ? Plus, with me, you were well on your way to become filthy rich, desu." "You ran away." "B...but, desu !" I blush. "No big deal, you got all the process covered, desu ! I was just a prototype, you just had to run the machine again and there was another me, desu !" "PTLD." Says he in a dead serious voice. "You were in your cell, listening to power metal, only getting out to hold company for a sick scientist or for slaughtering Jissouseki. You wouldn't be surprised if there was some...discrepancies between your point of view and the reality, right ?" "I...guess, desu..." "I waited for you to recover and maybe get past that thing, because I believe you don't deserve to be held in darkness."

I gulp. The pain in my chest suddenly gets sharper.

"We weren't able to make the Jissouseki evolve, Trance. Not even close."

To be continued. Final Slaughter - No Country for Jissous (2/3 : The Nightside of Eden)

"What...do you mean, desu ?" "Exactly what I said. Our research in the field of Jissouseki controlled mutation have been entirely inconclusive." "You're...shitting me, desu." "I'm afraid I'm not." "B...But I'm the living proof your results were through the roof, desu ! I'm evolved, I have constraints, I have the Bonding, desu ! So, sorry Mr.Nick, but I'm not buying it, desu."

He serves himself a shooter of Gin, and gulps it down.

"Make no mistake, we did make some significant progress. And in time, I'm sure we could have reached something big." "You make no sense, desu !" "From your perspective, I guess not...Look, I'll tell you what we did discover. Most of it revolves around the Jissouseki crystals." "Ah, you found how it mysteriously kills its Jissou when it's shattered, desu ?" "Yeah, some kind of reaction started by the fact it's the crystal that manages to hold together such a mess in the first place. But that's not the point...A lot of scientists where theorizing that this gem was in fact some kind of computer. With Katô-sensei's help, we knew it to be the case. And we managed pretty quickly to find a way to hack it." "That...that's groundbreaking, is it not, desu ?" "Not that much as it turned out. Sure, we were able to reprogram a Jissou somewhat, but there was still a lot of things processed by the brain which we couldn't reach. Plus the hacking could only be made directly. This "computer" of sorts doesn't have wifi, is what I'm saying. Worse, modifying the crystal properties strangely didn't do squat for the Jissou's body. Even if we coated a reprogrammed gem into jissou shit. Only a regular thumb-chan comes out."

Didn't heard of that ability. Anyway, he's talking about Dad's work, so it's interesting in its own right. Makes me forget the pain.

"Other than that, Katô-sensei was never able to pinpoint what went wrong in his process. I was his main assistant, so I know a bit on the matter. It's...very weird. The genome map shouldn't produce anything like the Jissouseki. Human genes, hell, entire chromosomes are present, and we should have full limbs and a normal anatomy, only smaller. It's as if the Jissouseki catastrophe hides itself into an invisible corner and overrides everything each time we launch the birthing machine. Which makes no sense at all of course. It's like we follow scrupulously a recipe for a strawberry cake and end with a failed chocolate cake with the consistence of an eraser." "Didn't you have any theories for this anomaly, desu ?" "None confirmed by experience. Our genome scrambling program was meant to help us uncover that mystery, but...every time we rollback to the previous genotypes, where they still gave recognizable -albeit unsuitable for life- living dolls, the specimen only live when it comes close to the Jissou model. And we mean, only from the right side. Impossible to make "better" jissous, but a shitload of jissou-looking freaks are at least capable of reaching your arena when they shouldn't. It's as if...something was preventing the Living Dolls from existing." "What ? Like...God, desu ?" "God, the great universe's balance, our own subconsciousness, we don't know. Of course, there were also plenty of good theories about what was fucking up our model. The biologically grown dresses, the ability to learn any language, the unmovable phenotype for any future Living Dolls, all strictly identical to their mothers...All of those were completely unnatural traits, which would be likely to have unpredictable results. Nonetheless, the "superior force" theory was conquering our minds." "Don't tell me you gave up ! You don't find something groundbreaking this fast, desu !" "Oh, I know that !" He laughs. "We were disappointed, yes, but realistic : Our quest would probably outlive our careers. We were trying to transform the blight of humanity into perfection, for God's sake...No. The real problem lied elsewhere." "Your investors were losing patience, desu ?" "Hm ? Oh, no no no no no, they were already plenty satisfied with the hacking thing. That cut the costs for high-grade pet Jissouseki like you wouldn't believe. As a matter of fact, we sold them, for a very high price, your set of constraints one month after your birth. No training necessary, you can sell mongrels more than 4 grand and no jissou-loving sucker will notice. There will also probably be military applications, although your sniper training won't do any good for jissou paws." "What ? Then you are fucking rich, right, desu ?" "Right desu, as you put it. I have enough in my bank account to live until 100 years old without working an hour for the rest of my life. As for the others."

His expression isn't the one for someone who got early retirement. There's a mix of feelings. All of them heavy.

"So...What was the problem...desu ?" "Katô Hajime himself." "Right...Dad was sick, desu." "Yes. He wasn't exactly old, but his sickness was wearing his body down very fast. He became a total shut-in. He never came into sight of the jissou we bred. Even a goddamn picture could send him into a rage." "They had destroyed his whole career, desu. He had to go to the Western world, far from everything he ever knew to continue his quest, desu..." "And he came to consider himself guilty of what mankind was going through. We made extra sure the rumor about cities destroyed by Jissous never reached his ears."

He looks at me. His eyes are so intense, I can't look elsewhere. "He was dying, Trance. We could live with the few results we got. We could wait. Not him." "So...for him, you made me, desu ?" "Yes." "But...how, desu ? Everything in the files I stole was bullshit...right, desu ?" "All bullshit. It was prepared especially for you, for when you would want to escape from your prison after Katô's death."

He looks at his hands, obviously nervous. He gulps, then says :

"Your creation...Therein hangs the tale." "What tale, desu ?" "Everything. How you could escape, how we got shut down, how the Jissous invaded, how we all blew our heads off." "D..Don't screw with me, desu. There's no way it could be that bad, desu."

He put his forehead on the table, and his hands into his hair.

"Oh God...Trance I.. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

This idiot is seriously giving me the creeps. Plus I was beginning to feel cold because of the blood loss. I saw tears dripping on his table. I'm shivering now.

"Jissouseki are one thing. They are a botched experiment, something good turned awful by a cruel twist of fate. You aren't anything like that, girl. You are one hundred percent mad science."

------

David Kellan

Fourth jissou colony in two days. I'm going to need a new pair of nostrils sometime soon. Each visit also cost me a full bag of konpeitos and a set of clothes. It's pretty easy to bribe them when they're alone in a park or in the street, but put a bunch of them together, let them grow confidence and a sense of territory, and man, your ass was in for a wild ride.

This time, it was into an abandoned building, apparently related to a business of some kind, hard to tell which given the level of degradation. The place was so ruined, you could tell Jissous had invested the place just by the busted door. The reek of excrement was another viable indicator. I enter. All windows have been condemned with planks, so it's dark even in the hall. I can nonetheless see some green silhouettes into the darkness. God does it stink.

"Hellooo !"

Yelps of surprise, and the sound of little legs running. That's it, they went tribal, now there's zero chance I could interrogate them easily. It's a phenomenon I saw in my first year of business. By the time I was putting all the peons in the same big cage. In the beginning, they acted normally. Irritating, stupid, but open to human interaction, begging for homes. One month later, some kojissous had grown into adults. They took control as the eldest. A social circle was forming around them. It was fine, I thought. Organized or not, their ass was going to abuse as soon as a sadist wanted some fun with big specimens. Plus they were quieter, they didn't assault verbally their higher class sisters now that they were busy enough for themselves. But a Monday morning, some uptight mother accompanied by her son, a spoiled little brat with shirts and shining shoes, came to buy some high-class. Naturally, I went all business mode, sweet-talking them into buying the first first-class I had since I got my license for them one week before. The kid went to bother the peons, apparently used to the jissou mindfuck routine.

"Oh nooo madam, I assure you these ones ab-so-lu-te-ly never soil anything. They have strict norms now, you know ? Even one behavioral or morphological trait that's not outstanding, and the price is cut to less than $900. If you go for the thousands of dollars, you get perfection, guaranteed or your money back." "Well, she does seem sweet. That shiny silver hair, is it natural ?" "Absolutely. Hey, girl, can you show to the nice lady your hair roots ?" "Of course, de !"

The pet removed her hood, and approached her potential purchaser with perfect protocol, showing her skull. It was clear the hair wasn't dyed.

"You do seem nice, little Jissou, what's your..." "NOW ! ATTACK, DESU !"

Behind us, the spoiled brat, still sticking a stick into a maggot, was stricken with approximately five pounds of shit in a split second. Never. In my entire life. Had I heard such a deadly silence. "I'm sorry, mister shopkeeper, but I think I'll settle for the whole bunch of commoners." "...Certainly madam. That will be 0 dollars, and the baseball bat is included."

Yeah, well, I have the right to do stupid things when $5200 flies right under my nose. Still, I have an investigation. I venture further into the Jissou's den. It's getting darker and darker. I hope they don't have Israel's foreign policy.

"What on earth are you doing here ?"

The voice behind me makes me jump. It's a man. No way, this building IS Jissou ridden, how... Oh. Behind me, at the hall's entrance, stand two exterminators.

"Uh...Hello." "You know, pal" Says the older one, "If you're looking for Jissouseki to abuse, you'll be safer searching in a park." "I know", I sigh. "I'm not an abuser. I'm investigating." "...Investigating what ?" He answers, obviously not convinced. "Someo...Something disappeared in the neighborhood, and I have good reasons to think Jissous from a colony picked it up. Besides I'm unarmed, see ?"

The pair was sporting the whole government-issued outfit, with spray cans and some other tools I'd rather not think too long about. Judging from the position of the younger one, standing back slightly, I'd wager the guess he was his subordinate. What, you need hierarchy to kill innocent Jissous now ?

"Yeah, I guess some of their scavenging does result in thievery. I have to talk to my friend about the basic methods of indoors exterminating, and we won't go too far for now. So we go with you, make sure you aren't hurt, you do whatever it is your supposed to do, and then we get to it, right ?" "You got a deal, as long as you do it humanely." "Oh we will. Here, grab this torchlight !"

I try, but I always sucked at playing ball. Fortunately, the torchlight isn't broken when falling.

"Erm, sorry. Anyway, off we go."

I venture into the staircase, leading the march. I guess they have some interest in letting a "civilian" be seen first by the Jissous. They draw less suspicion. Behind me, the old one has begun to make his speech. Don't want to hear stuff like this, so I focus on my mission. The stench only grows stronger as I walk up the stairs. Still, I hear jissou light squeals, but they're very elusive. Exceptionally even, given that I've opened my bag of konpeitos. There must have been a strong leader here. First level. A distinctively different smell floats here. "Hey", I ask. "Do you smell something like...burnt stuff ?" "Let me see that...Yeah, you're right. Burnt Jissou feces." "Shit" says the other. "You think we should call the firemen ?" "Nah, it's too old, smoke has dissipated. Their shit and themselves burn too fast for even a log to catch on fire."

While they chat, I look around. No Jissouseki here. Let's... FUCK ! There's blood on the floor. Pure, red blood. No traces of Jissou shit in it. It's a human. Or... Stella's aggressor. Goddammit, I absolutely can't let exterminators know about her existence !

"He's right, I say, directing the beam of my torchlight anywhere but where the blood is. "I think they went to the second level, let's go."

Indeed, high-pitched voices become apparent now. Another flight of stairs. Whoever was bleeding went up there.

"Yeah, so like I was saying" Continues the eldest exterminator, "Hiding jissous is already a problem in the wild, it's even more of a pain indoors. They're programmed to feel at home in a building, so they'll check openings and whatnot as soon as they take over. So you really have to check every nook and cranny." "Make some vinegar boil, when the room's not too large, the acrid vapor will make any jissou cough and try to get out, they hate that stuff."

The civil servants look at me silently.

"Uh, sorry. I'm a Jissouseki retailer, clients often have to deal with hiding maggots and...force of habit, you know. I guess boiling takes too much time for your kind of job, forget I said that." "Bah, at least vinegar is cheap."

I don't have to face the awkward situation for long. We arrive at the second level. And as soon as I light up what seems to be a hall, we all stop right where we are.

"That...wasn't in my job description." Says the youngest. "Mine neither" Answers his boss. "That means you...don't have the tools for this ?"

The...thing turns its...eyes ? At us, swings something thin and long and...

"Pretty much." "Mr.MEEeeeN DUUuuSSSUuuAAA"

We all run back down the stairs, with only our male pride preventing us from screaming like schoolgirls. Later, we're back in the streets, hungrily breathing some fresh air. "Fuck ! We're getting back to HQ, tomorrow we come back with the entire squad !" "Whatever you want, you're the only qualified professionals on this one. That thing is unsellable." They leave. Shit, and my target is probably inside, wounded, maybe dead ! I don't know, but whatever it is, I have to make sure of it.

I'll have to think of something by the end of the day. Meanwhile, I think I'll just... Take a walk in the streets. The outside is so cold at this time of the year. There's still snow, although all of it will thaw soon enough, revealing god knows how many frozen Jissouseki corpses. Bah, that makes it a great period for youth employment. Still, all this Jissou business makes us forget the misfortune of our fellow humans. Winter is a harsh mistress for them. Poor souls, shivering in the snow, with no home to go back to. That, perhaps, is the saddest thing in the world. After a while of letting my mind drifting, I can hear a very faint "teeeeen..." accompanied with munching sounds. In a small alley, a little girl, buried in a dirty blanket, snow piling on her mid-length brown hair, is eating a kojissou. Well, step aside, saddest thing in the world, there's a new chief in town.

"What are you doing here, all alone ?" "Ah, hello mister. Well, my parents gave me to a school. Our house has jissouseki in it."

Her voice is delicate, but full of melancholy. Her parents probably had further problems if they couldn't keep her with them.

"And then the people were nice, but I want my mama and papa so I'm look for them. But they aren't when they said they would..." "I...see" Crap, this line of questioning probably didn't need further scrutiny. "You know eating raw jissou is dangerous, right ?" "Yeah but...It's all their fault, and it's the only food I have..." "Oh come on, come with me, at least have a good meal and bath, we'll search for your parents later." "R...really ?" "Yeah. What's your name ?" "Sylvia."

The others are out for the moment. They went to see the Doctor. I'm taking care of Sylvia in the meantime. She's cute without those rags, I'm sure they will be happy to see her. She gets out of the bath, all clean. She's smiling, for the first time in a who knows how long. Obviously, she's strong. She went through a lot, and set off to a journey she probably lost before it began. And still, she's finding the strength to smile and laugh...She's trusting, too. Kind. She followed me, and never asked me anything, she just took what I offered her, and was grateful for it. She's too kind. And too trusting, as what I'm thinking about her is dark. A pitch-black darkness that is threatening to consume me whole. But I have to do this. It's already decided.

"And voilà ! Hot milk, pancakes and honey. Would you like some chocolate, too ?" "No, thank you mister, but...that's more than enough."

Yeah, right.

"You're the nicest. What did you say your name was ?" "Nick. Nick Howell." "It's a funny name !" "Thanks."

I'm sitting in the sofa, my head into my hands. The others enter.

"It's done. The sedative in the milk made short work of her. Now come on, let's get this over with."

You, have got. To be fucking kidding.

Later, we're all behind the glass of the main laboratory. Sylvia is lying, unconscious, in the exit slide of our generating machine. She has the clothes we made for her. The others have been disposed of. The scar in her back is hard to spot, he shouldn't be able to discover the trick. She wakes up. "M...Mister Nick ? Wh...Where are you ? Where am I ?" "Don't try to talk, Sylvia, relax." "Re...lax ? B...But...I feel weird..." "I'm sorry, I wish it could have happened during your global anesthesia, but the thing inside you can't work on your central nervous system and morphology if you're not fully conscious."

You can't be serious ! YOU CAN'T !

"Wh...What ? What thing inside me ? I'm...scared, I just wanted to see mama and papa again, I..." "You'll have one. I promise." "Mama, it hurts, I'm so s-s-s-cared, help mAAIIIIIIEEE" "Oh, God help us, I can't watch this shit." "MY EEEYYYYYES, SOMEONE HELP ME D-D-DDDEEEE"

SHUT UP ! YOU'RE LYING !

I'm crying, face against the wall. The cries are piercing my soul. Poor Sylvia. What have we done ? What have I done ? Oh, God. I'm sorry Sylvia. No, not Sylvia...

------

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuup...de...ssuuu..." "I'm sorry, but it's true. You aren't the revolutionary model. You aren't even a step forward. You're just a human girl infected with a Jissou crystal." "Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up desu" "The transformation was painful. Excruciating even. It changed your face, made it more Asiatic. It made you experience forced, lightning-fast puberty, which explains your greater muscle efficiency. It rewrote your brain, burning Jissou traits into it, wiped out your memory, and part of your mind. We believe you lost at least 33% of your IQ, starting from the intelligence of a 10 years-old. Had you any interest in politics, you would probably be in favor of the tea party. And, of course, it implanted all the programming we had prepared in the crystal" "Shut the fuck up, Nick. Please shut the fuck uuuuuuup...desu..."

I fall on the floor and curl up. I can't describe you how it feels. I hate Jissouseki. They're the lowest of the low. I was the hope, the miracle, the cure. And now I'm just a freak. Hammerfall, Manowar, Iron Savior, Sabaton, Rhapsody...All the awesome bands the Nick Howell I thought I knew introduced me to...please look away for a moment. My arms can't stop shaking.

Later... I get up. Nick is behind reinforced glass with most of the equipment, but I still have some stuff to collect in this part of the vault. Guns. Real and with foam bullets. Flares. Incendiary grenades. Painkillers. I take the whole bottle.

"Trance..."

I wait for them to take effect. This burning pain in my chest can go right the fuck to hell.

"Sylvia..."

Thirteen magazines. Good. I'll need all I can get.

"Forgive me..." "Go fuck yourself, asshole, desu."

I can hear him bang his head on his desk.

"You know you can't shoot through the glass." "Don't care, desu. The others have done the right thing. You're up next, and you know it, desu." "You plan on killing the Jissouseki outside ? That's madn..." "Maybe I don't have the legitimacy to kill them anymore. Maybe I should switch sides. But I know one thing for sure, desu."

I arm the guns.

"This is no country for Jissous. Not for regular ones, not for fucked-up ones created by madmen, desu." "Don't be an idiot ! You can live through this ! The Jissou miracle healing solution...I'm pretty sure it works on you !" "Right now, the least fucking thing I want to do is living, desu." "Trance, please..." "Don't even think about reviving me, desu. Constraints or not, I'll blow your fucking brains out, desu." I activate the console that opens the vault. I'm still bleeding, still weak. But I'm ready. And I know where I'm going.

Across the bridge of Death, beyond the gates of light, Into the heart of darkness, into the black of night. No road back, I never will return. Into the fires of hell, I will burn And die.

To be ended. Final Slaughter - No Country for Jissous (3/3 : The Little Girl in Death's Garden)

Continued from >>166

The thick metal door slides to the right, for the second time in a single day, after weeks of complete silence. The jissou behemoth is distracted from its favorite toy a moment. Could there be another fun toy behind this shiny thing ? Food maybe ? Intrigued, it approaches the growing opening. Suddenly, the door stops moving. Something tickles.

"DaAAaaaAAAA ?"

Its dress is on fire. A weird red light is coming from behind the door. Thankfully its skin is tough enough to resist the flames, but its treasured dress is gone ! Shit light must pay ! The thing charges, and tries to pry the door open. Nothing, shit door is heavy ! Huh ?

"I knew your eyes were behind that bib of yours, desu."

BANG ! BANG !

"DoOOoGYAAaaAARRRrrrrRHhhhH"

When you're a worse freak than me, you super-don't deserve to live. Blinded and shot in the chest at the same time, the thing staggers back. I shoot again in the legs. Its scream is ear-shattering, and the ground trembles when hit by its enormous body. Stay right where you are, I'm coming to g...

"DeEEEEEeeeEEESHhhhhhHH..."

Goddammit ! Even full of lead, it still got up. It does not hesitate one moment before charging towards me. I only manage to dodge at the last second. Does it have another set of eyes somewhere ? Or does it analyzes its surroundings by scent ? ...Yeah, because the fact it was living with its face covered didn't clue me in enough. I guess I AM retarded. Around us, the colony of feral jissous are watching. All rooting for the behemoth, of course. Can't say I blame them, I'm only standing because I'm pumped full of painkillers. Although I don't quite understand what is it they're finding funny. "Depupupu" yeah, and your mom is a whore ! The thing whacks the air and manages to throw me around twice, although not against a wall. Less painful. It's obviously in pain from the bullets, but damn is it resilient ! To think that in the movies, they make bullets magical instant-killing machines... No choice. I can't withstand too much punishment, so I'll have to hide until that fucker bleeds to death. Luckily, there's a room in a state of total mess right behind me. I run, and dive under the junk just in the nick of time.

"MeAN JissOu Don'T HidE DESgUUuuu..."

I crawl under a pile of broken lab equipment, putting aside a lot of stuff while emptying the rest of my clip in suppressive fire. The monster screams and tries to dig me out. But some sort of improvised tunnel runs under the rubbish, and I'm soon too far for it to reach me. In the darkness, I bump into something.

"Techa !"

...I seriously believed it was another headless giant for a moment.

"Mama, something is here, techi ! Help, techi !"

Before me, a lamp is turned on. A bunch of kojissous are shivering at their mother's feet, obviously afraid someone has infiltrated their burrow. The mama, her right hand still on the switch, is boldly holding a broken fork. All of them have clean clothes.

"Leave this place, desu ! This is our home and we do not want bad jissous here, de !" "Yes, mama, show the stranger, te !"

Their noise does nothing for discouraging the monster. Is this pile of horseshit immortal or what ? I put my finger before my mouth. They seem to understand, and shut up.

"What's after me is the patron saint of all bad jissous, desu" I whisper to them. "So keep quiet if you don't want it to demolish everything, desu."

I light another flare. The children's faces turn blue, but the mother fortunately tells them to calm down. I throw the burning flare as much behind me as I can in this small gallery, and kick it back to the monster. We hear a roar, and several hits against the ground.

"We can only wait for it to lose all its stamina, desu. Plus we can hope the smoke scrambles its sense of smell and make it forget us, desu." "Weird onee-chan is fighting the Scourge, techi, she is so courageous, te !" Whispers one of the children, light in her eyes. "The...Scourge, desu ?" "Yes, desu", answers the mother. The enemy of the Priestess. We wanted to escape her dumb cult, and ended up with worse here, desu."

I frown, curious. While the children are now excited about me, the mother is looking at me with an inquisitive look. Something's up about this family.

"So, when did you come here, desu ?" "We were always here, techi !" "It's the other mean jissous who destroyed our cage, techi !" "Your cage, des..." "Are you Master Douglas "big thing" desu ?" Suddenly says the mama. She's squinting. "Uh...Douglas ? You mean Douglas McLinn, desu ?"

I get it. Mister Douglas was another one of the scientists in this place. A gigantic nerd. I guess he must have been involved in the crystal hacking, and thus needed to have several jissous to experiment on. And, who knows, maybe harvest a certain crystal from.

"Yeah. Guess we are colleagues of sorts then, desu."

Some smoke enters the tunnel, making the jissous cough. I open my ears wide to hear any signs of weakening from Goliath. It still whacks the flare, but its horrible voice is getting raspy. Thank God you can still expect 10 bullets to kill something that doesn't have any access to medical care. Unfortunately, I can only backtrack, and get out of the tunnel feet first. The more I hear the heavy breathing drawing near, the more I hold mine. There isn't any way he doesn't see my feet when they get out, so either he's too weak to move or my legs are going to be ripped out any second now. The tension is...quite unbearable. For me, at least. Almost there... Come oooon...

"FOuND yOU DESuuUUUUu"

GODMOTHERFUCKDAMMIT ! I'm pulled with incredible force before I can even react and catch something to hold on to. Soon, I'm up in the air, and I can see with uncomfortable detail why its dress was knit over its headless neck. That's where its mouth is.

------"Depupupupu !" "Scourge-sama has won again, de !" "Shit human never had a chance, depupupupu !"

The towering champion of the second floor's tribe burps loudly. It's in bad shape, but is still able to walk. Sleepy, though. Its followers are scurrying around its feet, offering it moldy konpeitos and useless albeit pretty junk. Not that the Scourge cares. Since it was born from the machine, it was radically different from the other members of the legion. Powerful, resilient, but also indifferent to comfort and good food. Still, there was something in its heart that was leaping when seeing its cousins praising it for its strength.

So it backed up a little bit, raised its arms, and let out a triumphant roar. The crowd exploded from joy. Long live the Scourge tribe !

*Sprotch*

Nani ? An arm was reaching out of its belly. No, two. Two and a head ? It must be exhaustion from the fight. Feel dizzy...

------

That's it, take a nap, asshole. I struggle my way out of the monster's body, all the jissouseki around looking at me in awe.

"Hey, God, desu !" I shout while looking at the ceiling. "Thanks for small miracles and all that, but next time, think big, will ya, desu ?"

Yeah, thank Him jissous are too fragile to have gastric acids, a trait that is found in even the biggest mutants. I'm as the jissou that was just born : coated in shit. There's even some in my belt's compartments. Bah, as long as the guns work... The shitdolls aren't quite depupuing anymore. First it was the Priestess's clan that was paralyzed after seeing their leader fall. Now it's their turn. But this time, I know I'm one of them.

"Okay, now that yours is out of the way, can I be your pet, desu ? I'm very big, and I eat a crazy lot, desu !"

A maggot is trembling at my feet. I take it, throw it in the air, and catch it into my mouth. They catch my drift, and begin to scream while shitting themselves.

"This is OUR home, shit jissou, decha !" Says one as she collects her shit in her paw. "You have killed Scourge-sama, we will kill you, desu !"

They fling their shit at me. Apparently they don't take it any more kindly than Mr.Men when a shitty creature invades their home. Of course, they can't very well dirty me more than they already have. And I mean that in all the ways possible. Fifty, maybe sixty jissous are throwing crap at me, and I don't feel bad in the slightest. Weird. Learning I'm not a success but the result of an unfathomably evil experiment that degraded my Mrs.Lady self into a half-jissou aberration...Has freed me. With my body, my mind, and my current lifestyle, it's clear I don't belong to Mr.Men's world anymore. I won't buy cute clothes and swoon over pop idols. I won't grow up into a woman, get married, seek money and fame and only stop when I'm old and decrepit. I don't owe anything to anyone, especially not to Katô Hajime, who wasn't my father at all, just a broken man in need of relief and redemption. There's just me, the Legion of my sisters, and an insane amount of blood that will make all the flowers in Death's garden turn red. . Five minutes later, they stop. "Depupupupu!". Of all their vocalizations, this one has to be the most cringe-inducing. I sweep the shit surrounding my feet calmly, ignoring their taunts. Once it's done, I open one of my belt's compartments, and take one of the anti-jissou incendiary grenades. I pull the pin out, and throw it into the crowd. They scream, panic, trip and scatter. Useless. A burst of fire in the center of the hall. There isn't any napalm or any other chemical that would make the fire last. Mr.Men caught in its wake would have little more than the tip of their hair burn. It's just a big, fleeting lighter. But to Jissouseki, it's a doomsday device. All the shit they laid on the floor, today and all the time they were here, catches on fire as easily as fuel. In the blink of an eye, the flames catches the ring of fleeing jissous, lighting up dozens of little torches. The dark building turns bright. The maggots didn't even had the time to finish saying "Belly soft and squishy, please rub, refu !" to the flying ball before the boiling shit in them made them go "pop !". Bam. No cry, no tears, only the end of their lives, just like that, in one extremely plain sound. Some of them were in the arms of their caring thumb-chan sisters, splattering their boiling insides all over their faces. "Rechyaaaa !" After a few instants of feeling their skin melting, they themselves pop. And the flames kept running. None of the older gremlins could escape, its own shit guiding the fire right to their just-as-flammable clothes. Like a bouquet of fireworks, the thin lines of flames burst into torches once they reached their situation. No "BANG"s to shake the night's sky, but a concert of "TEGYAAA"s. It was terrible. It was beautiful. I stand here, surrounded by a lake of fire, my arms open, tears of joy flowing from my closed eyes. I thought I was killing them for the sake of Mr.Men. For the greater good. Bullshit. The only thing there is is this symphony of pain. No matter who I am, no matter what I am, as long as Jissous cry, I am at home. Soon, the shit completely burns out. There is only ashes and the smell of burnt meat. Some "panic maggots" can be seen, but they are deader than disco. I pick up the least blackened jissou mother I see, and bite into it. Wow ! The skin tastes bad of course, but the sudden burst of extreme heat made the inside cook in a peculiar manner, very different from a slow cooking. It retains the special taste of raw jissou, without the fishy consistence of raw flesh. I crack open some other burnt husks, and eat the insides. Damn I love eating these fuckers.

But now it's time to finish this. Everything must die. I go back into the vault. Behind the glass, Nick is nowhere to be found. Maybe he escaped, maybe he's just lying on the floor dead. Either way, I know there is an ultrasound system here, in case of a mutant escape. That will make maggots die from a heart attack as soon as they're born, ensuring nothing survives. I activate the system, and I can hear the high-pitched sound. Damn, I wish the crystal hadn't transformed that... Back into the hall, I can see dozens of jissouseki running around, blocking the horrible sound with their stumps.

"Mama, make sound stop, techaaa !" "Where are you, shit sound ? I will kill you, decha !" "Mama, maggot-chan is blue and is not moving, teeeen !"

I spin my two guns, real and foam-bullety, and aim at them. Let the bodies hit the floor.

------

The sound stopped. Her babies wanted to run, get away from that noise, but she held them tight. There were loud sounds, a lot of other jissous crying. But never did they heard the Scourge's cry again. Timidly, she called.

"W...Weird Onee-chan, desu ?"

Silence. Then a tired voice.

"Wha ? Oh, yeah, I forgot about you, desu." "Are all the bad jissous gone, desu ?" "Yeah, all of them. I checked the three levels twice, desu." "So...We can come out and escape, de ?" "...Yeah, but first I got a present for you. Wait here, desu." "O...Okay, desu..." So she did. She was still a little in shock anyway, just the time to catch her breath and she will finally lead her beloved daughters to the open world, to freedom.

"Just wait, jissou-chan, jissou-chan, desu. Come on jissou-chan, stop crying, you will see the beautiful world, de !" "F...For real, te ?" "Yeah, it is great, desu ! Plenty of loving Mr.Men and big, warm houses, desu !" "No more of the junk and stealing bad jissous shit, techi !" "So happy, techi !" "Hurray for Mama, techun !"

Something round rolls through the tunnel, and ends its course touching the mama's feet.

You shouldn't have called me, girl. The painkillers wear off. I could use some rest... I fall on the floor, and put my back on a wall. Behind the blood and shit, my hands are blemish. Just how much blood did I lose ? Outside, I can hear a church sounding the bell. Twelve gongs. It's midnight.

"Guess it's your last day of having your body being desecrated by a jissou hybrid, Sylvia, desu..."

Around me, the silence. Every jissou is dead. Burnt to a crisp, trampled, skulls pierced by bullets...The next Mr.Men who will come here will probably shit bricks. They don't usually send the IRA to kill Jissouseki. It's so cold...

*Driiiiiiiiiing*

Whoa, what ? Something is ringing in one of the pockets in my shirt. How did it landed there of all places ? I take it. It's a little alarm clock with a small present box attached to it. Nick. He must have put it there when I was out cold. I unwrap the present. It's difficult when my fingers are shivering so much. It's a bottle. One of those bottles. The stuff from japan that can revive jissous even when one of its foot is in its grave. Also, a little note.

"I know you can't forgive me, but still, when you'll be reading this, your "birth" will be precisely one year ago. Happy birthday, Sylvia. Never forget how freaking metal Manowar is. I'll be going first, Nick."

Not far away, I hear a "BANG !". Bastard. You planned everything for your big exit. ...Fuck. For all his mistakes, he always was a pretty cool dude.

"B...Baka, de...ssuu..."

As I cry, I can feel a little scurrying in my hood. A thumb-chan. Probably one of those who tended to me. She's in no mood for talking, and clumsily gets out, falling on the floor in a little "techuwa !". Then she runs away, arms first, never looking back. Sorry, no survivors.

*Click*

Great, I forgot I was out of real bullets. I take the flash-ball gun, aim... And my arm falls of its own. The thumb-chan gets to the staircase, and disappears. Now I know. The crystal in my spine, my second heart...It belonged to a thumb-chan. I contemplate the cure bottle. One gulp of the stuff, and I would in all probability be back in business. I let it roll on the floor. Sorry, but I, too, want my big exit. One year of spitting at nature in its face is plenty enough. Come on, Sylvia. Time to sleep. "I finally found you."

I open my eyes. The crazy three-quarters Jissou Mrs.Lady. His face is neutral, maybe kind of sad. In his hand, some sort of gun with a screen. Where did I saw that ? Ah, before Katô died. They used it to...... Oh my god. OH MY FUCKING GOD. The pain gets washed away by pure pants-shitting fear. I must run away, but as soon as I get up, I stumble and fall. I crawl for the cure bottle. Come on, PTLD, come on ! No, not PTLD, I'm Sylvia ! I'm Sylvia and I want to get the fuck out of here and LIVE !

"This note says "Sylvia." Is that your name ? Mmmh, pretty cute. I was thinking another thing but I admit it suits you."

My strength drains more and more but I'm almost there...He's walking toward me. I finally catch the bottle. My hands are shaking. I unscrew the cap. Fasterfasterfasterfasterfaster It falls. His hand have caught both my arms.

"Do you know what it is ?" He says, showing the device. "Yes it's a memory wiper they use it for a range of purposes none of which are very ethical don't do that to me please don't do that to me, desu." "Calm down, I want you no harm, and I promise you'll be happy as my pet." "I'M NOT A PET DESU ! I'm a human girl infected with a jissou crystal, I'm not a slave to Mr.Men, desu !"

He obviously doesn't believe my origin story, probably because of the red and green tears flowing out of my eyes in a perfect jissou impression.

"Why the fuck would I make that up ? This is why "birth" in the note is in parentheses, desu ! Please, I beg you, free me, desu ! I already lost my life once, desu ! I DON'T WANT TO BE A SLAVE DESUUUUU" Without saying a word, he lowers the screen against my eyes. I'm too weak to struggle. "You're an asshole...desu." "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."

*FLASH* PTLD – Fin.

------

The reason I wanted to end the series is because I'm on programming a flash game in which you're a professional Jissouseki breeder, and will be able both to treat jissous kindly or abuse them, with a special attention to mindfuck potential. It's going pretty well for now but I got to lower my number of ongoing novels if I want to make a significant progress, at least for a while.

As for the reason I ended the series THIS way, well, I just like unhappy ends. I find makes the character more dignified by removing the plot armor, this kind of thing. Of course, since she's not technically dead, the story can go on. With me, in a second season or in a crossover with another series, or maybe with YOU ! Yes, I'm not copyrighting anything, so if you're inspired to write about this trainwreck of a character, by all means do.

I also AM interested for any opinion about the series as a whole, even a bashing.

'till next time !