THEPARENTLINK St. Paul Lutheran Church July 2013 FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
WHAT’S YOUR WORTH? THE VIEW Our society has a warped view of what’s valuable. That makes it especially In a survey of 26,000 teenagers, difficult for adolescents to keep a proper perspective on their true worth in 90% said they agree with this God’s eyes. God, our Creator, puts an infinite value on each of us. In fact, he statement: “I’m fully convinced loves us so much he was willing to sacrifice his own Son for our salvation. that God has created me for a particular purpose in life that Thankfully, our worth isn’t based on our behavior or our circumstances. Al- will bring glory to him.” though we can’t do anything to earn God’s favor and grace, there also isn’t —Group magazine anything we can do that will make him give up on us. Parents need to tell teenagers that their value in God’s eyes never changes. Numerous studies have found that participation in religious But there’s more to it than that, according to Walt Mueller, author of Under- activity has a strong influence standing Today’s Youth Culture (Tyndale House). “Parents need to become on teenagers’ self-esteem. the hands and feet of Jesus,” he writes. “If we knock our children down through our ignorance, absence, or cutting remarks, we will create in them a Contrary to popular opinion, deeper desire and passion for peer group acceptance and approval.” Mueller teenagers want to spend time emphasizes that parents must communicate that their kids’ value and worth with their parents—and their doesn’t hinge on their looks, clothes, or performance. Parents also shouldn’t self-worth and happiness levels stop reaffirming kids’ value when efforts are met with disbelief or resistance. benefit as a result. “They need to hear it now more than ever,” Mueller writes. “In hindsight, —news.health.com they will thank you for the God-centered self-image that you worked hard to instill in them.”
PONDER THIS TIPS >>> Who or what determines something more than just live day A Bible lesson in Guy Talk, Girl how you feel about yourself, to day. You can actually partici- Talk (Simply Youth Ministry) ex- and why? plores what your value has to do pate in God’s plan. What message would you with God’s plan for your life: You are gifted enough to play a most like your teenagers to role in the work God is doing on You are important enough to know about their value and earth. God doesn’t need your matter to the Creator. What worth? happens to you today matters to help; after all, he is the Lord of God. He cares about your feel- Lords and King of Kings. But he What purpose and plan do ings and your worries. He’s inti- does use you. He created you with you think God has in mind mately involved in your life and value, and that means you’re per- for you? for your kids? for yet is keeping the whole universe fectly equipped to fit into his plan. your family? in action. Remember that you are Your heart was created for a child of the one true King. good and has great potential. You are significant enough to Although sin entered the world be part of God’s plans. Not only and affected us all, God can heal does God care about the details of you and allow you to live the way your life, he has a plan for it. he intended. A proper sense of Everything that happens to you is self-worth enables you to believe part of that plan. You have what God says about you and to enough significant value to do share that message with others.
‘A Miracle, Not a Mess’ Expert Insights for Parents of Teenagers By Dan Webster
respect themselves and others; Once teenagers have embraced Je- directs you to move. Intentionally pursue discover their talents and sus’ outrageous love and are living in your teenagers’ true identity, ponder it, and strengths by launching into it, their great quest is to discover the share as God leads. new opportunities; truth of their unique identity. The learn to both appreciate and I recommend the Four-Window Model of pursuit of that truth is all about help- live into their true self; intense observation, exploration, affirma- ing kids get a lasting taste of who identify “what’s right” tion, and revelation (seeking help from they are, what they should do with about them instead of God). Parents can help teenagers experi- their life, and how their talents can “what’s wrong” about them; ence the transforming power of God, who find their sweet spot out in the real and knows them better and loves them deeper world. learn to receive God’s help than we ever could.
because they’ve learned to Begin with the end in mind. As a listen to his voice. King David had an important moment of parent, you want teenagers to: revelation in Psalm 139:14 (see below). feel loved and know they matter be- Parents can turn these dreams for In his soul, David knew who he was and cause you’ve paid acute attention to their teenagers into expected out- what God’s will was for his life—he knew them; comes. You must commit to going it “full well.” Parents long for their kids to experience a boost in self-esteem as “all-in” to unlock your kids’ value know what David knew, and God will they’re reminded they’re a miracle, and true identity. Don’t hold back in make that happen. not a mess; learn more deeply how to cautious safety as God —Group magazine RESOURCE
BIBLE FOCUS In KidUnique (Group Publishing), Dan Webster helps adults develop I praise you because I am fearfully and young people who feel loved and wonderfully made; your works are wonder-
know that they matter. At the end of ful, I know that full well.
the book, a 31-day experience al- Psalm 139:14, NIV lows readers to apply what they’ve learned.
MEDIA SPOTLIGHT
MAINSTREAM MUSIC CHRISTIAN MUSIC MOVIES
Movie: The Wolverine Genre: Action, Adventure
Rating: Not yet rated; likely
PG-13 Synopsis: Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) finds himself in Ja- pan, fighting for those he cares about and for his life. THE LONELY ISLAND BUILDING 429 Our Take: Marvel and DC Background: This Christian Background: This comedy troupe superhero movies are gener- rock band, which has been has made a name writing often- ally well done and mostly free around for 14 years, gets its vulgar songs. Andy Samberg was of objectionable material. name from Ephesians 4:29: “Do on Saturday Night Live, and Akiva not let any unwholesome talk Schaffer and Jorma Taccone were come out of your mouths, but writers on the show. The popularity Movie: The Lone Ranger only what is helpful for building of their songs rose due to exposure others up according to their Genre: Action, Adventure on SNL. Titles include “D--- in a needs, that it may benefit those Box” and “I F----- My Aunt.” The Rating: Not yet rated; likely who listen.” Their sound is fairly video for “I Just Had Sex” has more PG-13 standard CCM rock, but they’re than 195 million hits on YouTube. earnest and talented. In 2005, the Synopsis: Tonto (Johnny The Lonely Island is like a hipper band won the New Artist of the Depp) and the Lone Ranger version of Tenacious D. Keep your Year Dove Award. (Armie Hammer) must work kids far away. together to overcome prejudice Albums: We Won’t Be Shaken so justice can prevail. Albums: The Wack Album (2013), (2013), Listen to the Sound Our Take: This film is from Turtleneck & Chain (2011), In- (2011) the same people who created credibad (2009) “The Pirates of the Caribbean” What Building 429 Says: Lead franchise, so it should be a singer Jason Roy says he wants What The Lonely Island Says: similar mix of adventure, ac- to write songs that empower peo- About their hit “YOLO,” Samberg tion, and laughs. ple. “You have two options in says, “I have no problem with the this life,” he says. “You can be- idea behind YOLO [You Only Live lieve what everybody tells you or Once]—that you should live your you can believe what you believe life and do things you want to do. about yourself internally, and But it got so co-opted and homoge- then you can make that happen.” nized and boring.”
Explore: They’re on music ser- Explore: Their music is avail- vices such as Spotify, Pandora, and able on Spotify, Pandora, and Last.fm. Last.fm.
VIDEO GAMES Abe HD—This is a reimagining of the classic platformer Abe’s Oddysee. The creative, challenging origi- nal was clear of any of the violence and sexuality that plague games today. (Rating pending; Xbox 360, PS3, PSP)
Deadpool—Deadpool has always been one of Marvel’s odder characters. This game looks as if it will be filled with crude, juvenile humor and tons of violence. (Rated M; Xbox 360, PS3, PC)