Myth 1: Aggression Is the Instinctive and Only Way of Expressing Anger

Myths About Anger Why learn to manage irritable, in a hurry, gritting your teeth? Myth 1: Aggression is the your anger? Take an honest look at your anger instinctive and only way of 1. Chronic anger is a strain on your level. Even if you think it is everybody expressing anger. cardiovascular system and can lead to else’s fault, make note of the REALITY: Aggression is a learned heart disease, heart attack and stroke. frequency and intensity of your anger. behavior, acted out by individuals who 2. Anger doesn’t solve problems. By Once you have kept your anger log for have poor impulse control and have learning to control your anger and a week or so, you may see that you used and gotten away with it in the channel it into positive coping skills, are angry more often that you thought past. you will help resolve the problem or you may see a pattern to your Myth 2: Expressing anger rather than make it worse. anger. This gives you the chance to releases and gets rid of it. 3. Being more positive and less angry deal better with your anger and to about life and other people will make resolve some of the issues that are REALITY: This is not necessarily true. you a happier person. keeping you angry. Constantly venting your anger every time you get upset can actually MANAGING ANGER 2. Talk to yourself: increase hostility and frustration! 1. Keep an “anger log”: Make a promise with Myth 3: Tantrums in childhood yourself to try to delay getting angry. are healthy expressions of How often during the day do you Don’t you have better ways to spend engage in aggressive actions such as anger. your time than being angry? slamming doors, honking your horn, Usually many situations are not worth REALITY: Tantrums are usually a way yelling at other drivers, or barking at getting angry over. Your time and your of controlling parents and the others? How often do you provoke health are much too valuable. situation, and they reinforce the habit people to yell, scream, or honk their of demanding immediate gratification. horns at you? Don’t jump to conclusions about the motives of the person who may be Myth 4: You should always How often do you have negative annoying you. The person who is not thoughts about other people? “What a express what you feel, moving through the traffic light on jerk she is!” “I’d like to punch him!” including rage and hostility. schedule is not deliberately trying to “Why don’t these morons move keep you from getting to work on time REALITY: It is not always beneficial to faster!” say what you feel. It is important to and is probably not a stupid idiot express your feelings in a considerate How often do you blow your cool? Do either. He or she is probably just tired and respectful manner, and not in you shout angrily, fantasize and momentarily distracted. Besides, thoughtless or destructive ways. In about physically assaulting you are probably not going to be late other words, think before you speak or someone, or even explicitly anyway. threaten violence? How often do you may blindly hurt 3. Cool It!: someone simply to you find yourself frowning, impatient, relieve your anger. When you become aware of hostile When you are always upset, you are thoughts or attitudes, tell yourself to more likely to feel and express CONTROLLING “Stop!”, “Chill” or “Cool it.” Telling hostility. Too little sleep, working yourself to stop being angry interrupts under time limits, and too many items YOUR ANGER your anger problem, decreasing the on your ‘to do’ list will keep you chance that you will become angry. nervous and jumpy. BEFORE IT 4. Distract yourself Also, give up or sharply cut back on sweets, caffeine, cigarettes, and When you see that you really have CONTROLS alcohol. All of these contribute to created a ‘tempest in a teapot’, then overreactions to people and situations. back off from the situation and find YOU! some way to distract yourself. Listen 8. Learn to listen to the radio when you are trapped in Start listening. Don’t jump to traffic or read a book when you are conclusions. Fight the urge to break in late. This will take your mind off of a with your own comments. Try to learn situation you can’t change. something new by listening. Don’t turn 5. Decide what you can do conversations into cross examinations. about the situation; then do it 9. Assume other people have and let the anger go good intentions If whatever is making you angry is If you get angry a lot you probably important, then do what you can to don’t trust other people. You assume help change it and then get on with the worst of them. Many times your life. Holding on to anger after the evaluation of their motives may not be event has passed just makes it all correct. worse. Try to accept other people as they are 6. If you are chronically angry, and not how you want them to be. Try take a look at yourself to look at the situation from the other Do you keep finding examples of person’s perspective. situations where life is unfair? It isn’t 10. Learn to laugh at yourself fair. Life’s unfairness is not a new discovery. What’s the point of Learn to laugh at yourself. We all do continually getting mad about it? It’s things that, in hindsight, are an over- also true that some people are jerks. reaction to something that is really a Why bother getting mad about that? very trivial event. Laughing at ourselves helps to get rid of the anger 7. Avoid over-stimulation. Get andRESOURCES to keep the event in perspective. Military One Source – 1-800-540-4123 plenty of rest and exercise NMCPHC http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nmcphc/Pages/H ome.aspx Fleet & Family Support Centers Marine Corps Community Services MTF Mental Health