Hot Ones’ Spec Script

“Dwayne The Rock Johnson”

INT. Remote Set, Downtown LA – Morning DWAYNE JOHNSON, 45, is holding his hand over his mouth as he coughs lightly. He proceeds to smile and chuckle through the pain of 500,000 thousand Scoville units. The First We Feast title sequence plays. We are greeted by the bald-headed beauty, SEAN EVANS, 32. Sean’s voice is more passionate than usual, he looks into camera one with a massive smile on his face.

SEAN HEY! What’s going on everybody, from First We Feast I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones. Sean looks into camera two. SEAN It’s the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. AND. TODAY. We are joined by a long time comin, the man, the myth, the legend, Dwayne Johnson. Better known as The Rock, but really, what isn’t Dwayne Johnson known for these days. DWAYNE Thank you guys for having me. SEAN Dwayne, we’ve been chasing you for a while. Are you ready to do this? I know it’s early and this isn’t your typical “The Rock” regime bodybuilding breakfast.

Dwayne Chuckles and smiles at Sean

DWAYNE I am SO ready. I just finished hitting back this morning. I skipped the post-workout meal. I’m ready to get some protein in me – regardless of how hot.

SEAN That was my next question, how are you with hot food? DWAYNE Like most people my age, I don’t seek it out in my diet every day, but what I do seek is a challenge so I am ready for whatever… Dwayne picks up a bottle of and shows it to the camera. DWAYNE El Yucateco wants to throw my way. SEAN Let’s do it.

The Hot One’s title sequence plays – featuring images of hot sauce dousing wings, Sean and Dwayne posing with one another in various positions while Dwayne towers over Sean’s puny mortal body. The “First We Feast Presented by Hot Ones,” graphic is displayed. Next, Dwayne is seen chomping on a drumstick wing. DWAYNE Oh yeah. I can get down with Siracha, baby. Dwayne cleans the wing. SEAN So, Dwayne, you have one of the most decorated and illustrious pasts of any guest we’ve had on our show, but let’s start at the very beginning and then maybe go a little chronological, does that sound good? DWAYNE Right on. SEAN It’s no secret that you were on the move as a kid. What was it like attending four different high schools? And if possible can you share with our viewers, who may be transitioning to new schools, how you dealt with maintaining any social relationships and even building new ones and fitting in?

DWYANE (Smiling) That’s a good question. And you know I’m not sure I have a good answer. Ideally, you’d hope the transition to a new school will go as smooth as possible but that is rarely the case. I was a pretty hefty kid, and high school kids are nasty, so I was never looking to be something I wasn’t so that kid’s I didn’t know would accept me. SEAN (Nodding) Right. I got you. DWAYNE Despite how cliché it may sound, if there is any advice I can give it’d be, to be yourself, and the right people will fall into your life. Don’t adapt to please shitty people. Dwayne covers his mouth in embarrassment. DWAYNE Can I--. I can swear on here, right?

SEAN Fuck yeah, you can swear. I don’t think there’s a corporate sponsor on this episode. DWAYNE (Smiling/chuckling) Well, fuck yeah! SEAN I also, don’t feel comfortable telling The Rock, no. So swear all ya want Dwayne.

The Scovilles get upped to 5,000. The Aardvark Hot Sauce title sequence plays. DWAYNE This is good. This is good. A little bit hotter. SEAN (Sarcastically) Yup, that’s the idea. We like to bring it in droves. Dwayne is seen cleaning his wing to the bone. SEAN It seems if so American Football changes dramatically each year with the way different rules get instated. The most recent rule change that has both fans and players in an uproar is the tackling rule/lowering the helmet rule. Are you familiar with what I’m referring to?

DWAYNE Totally. Absolutely. SEAN So I’m gonna read the rule to you verbatim. And I want to get your knee-jerk reaction to the verbiage, and also if you could que us in on how you would adapt your play style to the rule if this had been put in place while you were still balling out at The University of Miami. Sean quickly reads the rule aloud. DWYANE Honest to god. And I don’t think I am the first person with a football past to say this but I think I would have to hang up the pads. Guys are being penalized for what used to be a reward, a promotion, the pinnacle of the position. Dwayne collects himself.

DWAYNE With all that being said, I understand and want nothing more than for the game to be as safe as possible for the post-career sake. You know? SEAN Absolutely. DWAYNE But as archaic as it sounds a lot of what I’m seeing is no longer the sport I grew up playing and that sucks. SEAN A few more rapid-fire football questions: Who’s the GOAT? DWAYNE Tom Brady. No doubt. Five rings, cmon. SEAN Favorite player growing up? DWAYNE ***(I imagine his answer would be Brian Bosworth)*** SEAN Last one – is there a player in the league today that reminds you, of yourself and your play style.

DWAYNE God, that’s tough because y’know unfortunately I never made it to the league. But a guy a have a ton of respect for, and just love the way he plays the game is Aaron Donald. Right in my backyard here in LA. The dude is a MANIAC on the defensive line. The Scovilles are upped to 9,000. El Yucateco title sequence plays.

Both Dwayne and Sean clean their wings. SEAN Cleaning wings. I love it. Though if there was ever a guest who I knew would come in and clean wings to the bone I would’ve bet a years’ worth of rent it’d be you, Dwayne.

Smoke alarms start going off in Dwayne’s head. DWAYNE WOOOOO! This is kicked up a notch… So did you say that people come in here and don’t eat the whole wing?! SEAN That’s right. Dwayne is genuinely shocked. DWAYNE WHAT! SEAN I’m not gonna get on them if they’re not trying to ruin their stomach lining for the foreseeable future. I can’t be telling and that they have to clean bones or otherwise we won’t plug their movies, you know? DWAYNE Understood. Dwayne looks into camera 2. DWAYNE But seriously, eat your fuckin wings, people. SEAN So, Dwayne, you were famously a part of wrestling’s attitude era, and really, you were front and center alongside Steve Austin, , Triple H, and many more. My question to you is, did you guys know what you had was peak entertainment gold before you really hit your stride? DWAYNE (*I really have no clue how he’d answer this*) Yes and no. When Vince and Jim first approached me, I was both ecstatic and skeptical, you know I had a big personality but so did all the other guys you mentioned so I wasn’t certain how we would gel. But once I got in a room with Steve, I knew there was magic there. SEAN The Rock will go down in Wrestling lore forever but more importantly, his catchphrase - - Both SEAN & DWAYNE “It doesn’t matter what your name is!” SEAN (Laughing) Will live on forever in meme culture, so I’m gonna show you a few that have made their way through the internet and you can just tell me what you think. That sound good? DWAYNE Totally. Sean shows Dwayne a slew of vines and other videos where the punchline is his famous catchphrase. Dwayne is amused by each one. The Scovilles are upped to 15,600. Hot Ones’ own Fiery Chipotle Hot Sauce title sequence plays.

SEAN Dwayne, this is one of two Hot Ones’ own hot sauces in the gauntlet. DWAYNE Oh, you guys make this yourselves? SEAN I don’t make it there’s a team of people behind the scenes that make it. But if you like it, I’ll be happy to take credit on their behalf. DWAYNE It’s excellent! Dwayne kisses his fingers like a chef. DWAYNE Definitely, something I could see myself tossing on chicken breast to help choke it down easier. SEAN I hear ya on that. Which segways nicely into my next question… Can you talk about “The Rock” training diet a little bit? Can you talk about what it’s like eating over 5,000 calories a day, sometimes training twice a day, all to maintain this larger than life physique? DWAYNE Oh gosh, of course. Yeah first off, I don’t recommend it to anyone. Seriously anyone. Unless of course, your physique is comparable to mine but you know I keep my body conditioned this way partly because it helps me land roles and because I love fitness. I’ve been tossing around weights since I was in elementary school. And you have to eat big to be big. SEAN Funny you mention not recommending trying to mimic your diet because seated before you is someone who attempted and failed “The Rock” diet. DWAYNE Right! See! SEAN A tapped out at around 3,000 calories, I think. And more trips to the bathroom than I had anticipated. DWAYNE It’s no joke man. Eating has really become work for me.

SEAN What’s the meal prep situation looking like because all of my meals were just like a bed of rice and a piece of chicken or fish that could’ve easily been mistaken for a bicycle seat. DWAYNE (Laughing hard) Well, fortunately for me, I learned very quickly that once you make it in show business, chefs start throwing themselves in line to cook for you. That hasn’t happened to you yet?! SEAN Unless their emails are going directly to my junk folder, I cannot say I’ve been approached by anyone who wants to cook for me. Dwayne motions to his entourage, off camera. DWAYNE We need to get this man hooked up!

SEAN I’ll have my people talk to your people.

The Scovilles are upped to 18,000. Queen’s Majesty limited edition Hot Sauce title sequence plays. SEAN Alright, Dwayne. We have a reoccurring segment on our show called Explain That Gram, where we do a deep dive on our guests Instagram and pull interesting pictures that need more context. And you’re actually one of the more prominent posters to Instagram compared to our guests of the past so this works out well. So what I’ll do is I’ll show you a picture and you give us the bigger story, does that sound good? DWAYNE Let’s do it. SEAN (Pointing his index finger in the air.) Laptop, please! A laptop appears by Sean’s side thanks to a PA. Sean shows Dwayne his own Instagram post from June 29th, a picture of a black notebook and a globe. SEAN So what’s going on with the notebook here at 2 AM, Dwayne? Will we ever know what lies within those pages or is that private? DWAYNE Ahhhh, yes. That’ll mostly stay between me and people close to me who I trust can bring some of the ideas to fruition. SEAN Is that what the 2 AM grind usually looks like? DWAYNE Absolutely. It’s one of the few times I can get away from external distractions and let my brain dump out what has been festering at it. Sean shows Dwayne his post from August 19th, Dwayne is standing in front of a squat rack with 315lbs on the bar. SEAN What’s going on here? Is this a warm-up set? DWAYNE (Chuckling) HAH! It used to be. I’m reworking my form, trying to maintain a strong base with my compound movements. And of course, never skipping leg day. Dwayne looks directly into camera 2. Dwayne YouTube, you better NEVER skip leg day.

SEAN I imagine the bulk of our viewers will tune this segment out. Sean shows Dwayne his post from April 19th, Dwayne is seated atop alligators back while grabbing the gator by the throat and jaw area, clamping the gator's mouth shut. SEAN Okay…what is going on here? DWAYNE (*I can’t make up an explanation for this, it’s too outrageous.*) The Scovilles are upped to 21,000. Dirty Dicks Hot sauce title sequence plays. DWAYNE Hmm. Dirtyyyy… Dirty Dicks. SEAN Yeah, it was no holds barred when naming this one. DWAYNE Oh god. This is the first genuinely bad sauce. Dwayne (finally) reaches for his glass of water. SEAN Is the water to combat the heat or the taste? DWAYNE Taste, mostly. SEAN So Dwayne, one of your very first IMDB credits, that didn’t have you starring as a variation of yourself is the CGI abomination known as The Scorpion King from 2001’s The Mummy Returns. Do you remember what it was like getting pitched to do that and do you remember your initial thoughts after seeing what “you” looked like on screen? Dwayne’s character image is displayed on the screen. DWAYNE I couldn’t jump on the role fast enough. The Mummy franchise was a huge property in the early 2000’s and I was honored when the casting director came to me and told me he wanted me to play Scorpion King. SEAN I know it was a testament to the early 2000’s but how about the CGI? DWAYNE Yeah, the CGI doesn’t really hold up today, does it? Both Sean and Dwayne share a laugh DWAYNE I mean for 2000 I was psyched when I saw the final product. I mean shooting that was unlike anything I had done before. You know up until then I was always used to using my entire body and my charisma on screen but all I really had to do for this was make some facial expressions. They did the rest on the backend. SEAN The power of CGI. DWAYNE It grows greater every day. The Scovilless are upped to 100,000. Zombie Apocalypse Hot Sauce title sequence plays. DWAYNE Oh shit. Now, this… this is spicy. Dwayne reaches to wipe his eye with the back of his palm. SEAN Careful. Careful around the eyes. DWAYNE Right. Right. I can only imagine… Hot Ones’ music intensifies. DWAYNE Woooo Shit! SEAN Now, Dwayne, I don’t know if you know this, but according to your Wikipedia, you hold the record for the most selfies taken in three minutes. And it happened on the red carpet during the premiere of San Andreas in London… Was there a conscious effort to set this record or is that a typical red carpet practice for Dwayne Johnson? DWAYNE First, no I did not know I held this record. My plaque must’ve gotten lost in the mail. Second, I try to make red carpets truly enjoyable for the fans because, truthfully, they’re really the only ones there enjoying themselves. Dwayne quickly justifies what he means. DWAYNE Now don’t get me wrong I love red carpet events, they’re extravagant, and they’re a part of history for the project. But at the core of it, myself, as an actor, and most of the other people there are still working. You know you’ve got journalists, and photographers, not to mention, I still gotta sell you guys on this movie!

SEAN Totally get ya.

DWAYNE So yeah I try and make it as pleasurable, for those who are truly there for pleasure. But how about you? I imagine you get noticed or asked to take a selfie on the street?

SEAN (Humbly) Very rarely, Dwayne. Verrrrry rarely. It’s mostly dudes asking my how my butthole feels. Dwayne laughs the hardest he has yet. (Even celebrities like butthole humor.) The Scovilles are upped to 135,600. Da Bomb, Beyond Insanity, Hot Sauce title sequence plays. Sean pants and exhales deeply. DWAYNE Uh oh. What’s he doing? Dwayne looks around the room as if someone is going to answer, then smiles. Each of them dives into their wings and each of them are visibly taken back by how hot it is. The bass intensifies. Both Dwayne and Sean have now both broken the seal on their glasses of milk. SEAN No shame in hitting the milk, Dwayne.

DWAYNE Fuck me, this is hot. The sauce is yelling at me. Dwayne coughs. DWAYNE Like I said something about its mother. SEAN So like all A-list celebrities, you’re no stranger to the tabloids and the TMZs of the world.

DWAYNE Right.

SEAN What’s the craziest headline you’ve ever read about yourself? Both Sean and Dwayne are exhaling deeply and grasping for cooler pastures. Dwayne takes a big breath and begins his answer.

DWAYNE Damn, there have been a few… I think I saw one, one time that said I was getting a sex change. SEAN Oh dear. How’d that go over with friends and family?

DWAYNE Well, my wife at the time, was the one that sent it to me, and she was all over those sort of stories. So she calls me up, screaming, like “IS IT TRUE?!” “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” And I’m like “What, what, hunny?” And she’s like “You’re getting a sex change!?” So, yeah I had to talk her off the ledge and let her know it was all bullshit – Fake news, I think they call it these days. SEAN You can never be too careful. And what about TMZ? Any run-ins with them? Dwayne retorts quickly. DWAYNE (Smiling) They know not to fuck with me. The Scovilles are nearly quadrupled. Blair’s Mega-Death Hot Sauce title sequence plays. Dwayne So how am I doing? SEAN I mean, you’re eight wings in, you’ve only hit the milk once, there’s no visible sweat on your body, I’d say you’re doing well, Dwayne. DWAYNE Good. Good… cause I feel like shit. My taste buds have been scorched. SEAN Most of the damage done here isn’t permeant. I promise. Dwayne takes a sip of his water before biting into the wing. Dwayne is battling the pain mightily and still trying to keep is charming demeanor. DWAYNE (Coughing lightly) Mhmmm. Shit. SEAN So Dwayne throughout your historic career you’ve gotten to work alongside some of the heaviest hitters in Hollywood. In 2017 alone you worked with on projects with, , Jack Black, , Priyanka Chopra, and not to mention the star-studded Fast and Furious cast. So my question to you is who was your favorite? Sean quickly admits he’s only joking. SEAN My actual question is which one of these actors is most like the character they depicted on screen? And you don’t have to limit your options to what I listed. Anyone you’ve shared the medium with. DWAYNE Wow. That’s a great question. SEAN Thank you. Dwayne leans back in his seat, looks up at the studio lights, and really begins to think. DWAYNE My mind immediately wants to jump to Efron because he’s so god damn good looking but he’s nothing like his character in Baywatch. Dwayne still pondering hard. DWAYNE Maybe Jack Black? I mean in Jumanji it gets a little ridiculous because we’re playing characters, who are characters in other characters bodies, and Jack is of course also playing a woman in a man’s body. But I mean, off shooting and off-set he really sank his teeth into the role and ran with it. It’s safe to say he had the most fun while shooting and was really authentic on and off camera. The Scovilles are now upped over 2,000,000+…Hot Ones’ The Last Dab, title sequence plays. Sean grabs the final bottle of hot sauce and begins shaking it vigorously. Sean sighs in preparation of what lies ahead. SEAN Alright, Dwayne. So this is the Last Dab. We call it the Last Dab because it’s tradition around here to put a little dab on the last wing. You don’t HAVE to if you don’t WANT to. DWAYNE Cmon! What do I look like? SEAN I had a feeling you’d be up to it. Sean dabs his wing with the hot sauce and passes the bottle to Dwayne who follows suit. Each of their dabs are about dime size. SEAN Here we go. DWAYNE (Smiling) Cheers. The two toast their wings like champagne glasses and proceed to dive into the eternal realm of spice. Sean’s face is now smushed together despite this being like the fiftieth time he’s indulged in the sauce. It is as if each of his facial features moved one inch toward the center of his perfectly symmetrical, round head. Dwayne pounds his fist against the table a few times and lets out a bit of a roar. DWAYNE Wooooooooo! Damn! Dwayne begins exhaling incrementally and quickly as if to keep the heat off the interior of his mouth. Triumphant music begins to play, signifying the show coming to a close. SEAN So Dwayne… you’ve starred in movies. You’ve headlined international wrestling events. You had a short stint playing professional football. I could truly go on for hours illustrating a resume like yours. Sean is still visibly battling the heat. SEAN You’re an inspiration to many, but at the core of it what or who inspires The Rock. What gets, Dwayne Johnson out of bed and into the weight room at 4 AM every day? How does a guy, who seemingly has it all continue to strive for greatness? DWAYNE Wow, that was really beautiful, Sean. SEAN (While burring his face in milk) Thanks, man.

DWAYNE … I guess I’ll have to wait for the episode to find out how he answers this – AZ.