The White Man's Burden by Rudyard Kipling 1899

The White Man's Burden by Rudyard Kipling 1899 Take up the Caucasian man’s responsibilities,

Send out the best you have,

Go send them overseas where they’ll never see their families again,

To meet your underlings’ needs.

The lazy people don’t want to move,

Even during crises in the wild where they live,

The conquered people are stupid, slow, and sad.

The home country should take responsibility for the imperialized country,

By doing this patience is restored,

And terror is no longer a threat,

The home country should feel pride.

Immigrants only can speak some English,

It keeps happening over and over,

To take what someone earns,

And take advantage of others’ work.

Have white people take responsibility for their problems,

Fight against rebellious peoples to create peace,

Feed all those who are starving,

Cure all disease. When the goal is almost met,

And the others have almost been conquered,

Watch as people are stupid and slow,

And bring all hope that you have to nothing.

Feel the pain and suffering the white people do,

It’s not a fancy and royal lie,

But the work of slaves,

And the tale of common things.

The ports you cannot enter,

The roads you can’t travel on,

With your population, conquer the ports and roads so your people can make a living. Also, make these roads and ports yours with economic resources,

With your losses from war, they become yours.

We should remember and pray,

God may decide,

To help us remember what happened,

Unless we forget the Maine.

The screams of the lesser humor us,

Push them towards Western Civilization,

“Why did you bring us back from slavery?

Our beloved Egyptian ways.” Accept the white man’s burden,

Don’t accept less,

Don’t let anyone hold you down.

Hide your weakness.

All who cry or whisper,

All who work,

Silence the negative people,

Trust God and you.

Follow the paths of your ancestors,

Be more mature,

The offered barter,

Of an easy, un-hated praise.

Coming to examine your morals,

After years of work without appreciation,

It is the cold truth,

Expressed with criticism from your fellows. Crosby on Kipling: A Parody of “The White Man’s Burden” In February 1899, British novelist and poet Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem entitled “The White Man’s Burden: The United States and The Philippine Islands.” In this poem, Kipling urged the U.S. to take up the “burden” of empire, as had Britain and other European nations. Theodore Roosevelt, soon to become vice-president and then president, copied the poem and sent it to his friend, Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, commenting that it was “rather poor poetry, but good sense from the expansion point of view.” Not everyone was as favorably impressed. Poet Ernest Crosby penned a parody of Kipling’s work, “The Real White Man’s Burden,” and published it in his 1902 collection of poems Swords and Plowshares. Crosby also wrote a satirical, anti- imperialist novel, Captain Jinks, Hero, that parodied the career of General Frederick Funston, the man who had captured Philippine leader Emilio Aguinaldo in 1901.

With apologies to Rudyard Kipling Take up the Caucasian man’s responsibility, Send out your strongest citizens Give them all I-phones with Bible apps And p-90s (gun) and vodka.

New diseases spread like wildfire, To new places and regions, Black folks are less intelligent and less capable, Compared to everyone else.

Don’t forget the workers In the overtaken imperialized countries, They are unhappy And there is no growth in the economy.

The rich never work as much, They enjoy taking advantage of the workers, They never pay any taxes, And they never pay any rent.

Take responsibility for the white man’s problems, Assimilate the Filipinos, Force them into banking and taxes, And force them to pay mortgage.

Modernize the people, Give them our judicial system, And if rebellion stirs, Crush them!

They need the benefits working for us brings, And political corruption, We’ve made a mess at home by doing things illegally, So we should spread this to other countries. We should remember and pray, God may decide to Help us remember what happened, So we never forget The Maine.

Do your duty as a white man, And succeed your fathers, In civilizing the hordes, And they will owe you a debt.

All of the money, And all of the freedoms, Belong to the imperializer, Because they benefitted the other countries.

Follow the path of your ancestors, And if you write a poem, Don’t insult your country, And try to make them worse.

You must understand that if you speak of religion To mask what you say, In a planet filled with people who have double standards, You will be profitable.

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