Horrid Henry and the Book of the Dead

Horrid Henry and the Book of the Dead Based on the characters by Francesca Simon

1. Alexander the clever: ………….. 9. Museum Guard 1: …………… 2. Sam: …………………… 10. Museum Guard 2: …………… 3. Sarah: ………………………… 11. Ninja 1: ……………………… 4. Queen*: ……………………… 12. Ninja 2: ………………………… 5. Horrid Henry. : ………………… 13. Ninja 3: ……………………… 6. Moody Margaret: ……………… 14. Ninja 4: ………………………. 7. Ralph: ……………………… 15. Bank worker*: ……………… 8. Teacher: ………………………

*Everyone can be in scene 1. The children, ninjas, museum guards and bank worker can double up as guards and the Queen, who only appear in scene 1. The bank worker is a small part so someone can do this part as well as be the teacher or a ninja etc. Scene 1, a long time ago in ancient China

Some children come on and say “Ladies and gentlemen, we present Horrid Henry and the Book of the Dead. Scene 1, a long time ago in China” then exit.

(Carmina Burana begins – the children sing to the music. Alternatively, do it without music) Off-stage chanting: All hail the queen All hail the queen All hail the queen of….. China All hail the queen All hail the queen All hail the queen of …..China All children enter and form a semi-circle chanting All hail the queen All hail the queen All hail the queen of….. China All hail the queen All hail the queen All hail the queen of …..China

Fanfare of the first part ofCarmina Burana and music stops (you will need to edit the music). The Queen of China steps forward.

Queen: Hello everyone, I am the Queen of China. I am rich. Guards: She is rich. Queen: I am powerful. Guards: She is powerful. Queen: I live in a beautiful palace. Guards: She lives in a beautiful palace. Queen: I have got an advisor.

Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2013 1 Guards: She has got an advisor. Queen: Advisor! Advisor! Alexander the Clever and his 2 assistants come forward Alexander: Hello everyone, I am Alexander the clever. Sam: My name is Sam. I help the Queen. Sarah: My name is Sarah. I help the Queen. Queen: Advisor, I want the Book of the Dead. Alexander: You want the Book of the Dead? Queen: Yes, I want the Book of the Dead. Alexander gets the Book of the Dead and shows it to his assistants. Sam, Sarah: What is it? Alexander: This is the Book of the Dead. It is very powerful. Sam, Sarah: What are we going to do with it? Alexander: We are going to take over China. Sam, Sarah: We are going to take over China! Alexander: Shhhhhh! Queen: Give me the Book of the Dead. Alexander doesn’t hand over the Book of the Dead. Queen: What are you doing? Alexander, Sam, Sarah: You are rich. We are not rich. You live in a beautiful palace. We live in a little house. We are going to take over China.

Guards: They are going to take over China! Queen: Guards, stop them! 3 guards run forward. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: Alikazam! They fall over. Another 3 run forward. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: Alikazam! They fall over. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: Ha ha ha! You can’t stop us. A guard grabs the Book of the Dead. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: Oh no. Queen: Put them in the tomb. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: No, no! help, help! The guards put them in the tomb. Guards: You are going to lie in the tomb for a 1000 years!

Some children come on and say “Scene 2 in the present day” Enter ninjas. Ninjas: Hello everyone, we are ninjas, we are bad, we are very bad. We are the Kung Fu Ninjas, hai ya! (doing kung fu kick!)

Ninjas 2, 3, 4: Where are we? Ninja 1: We are in …… (name of your town) Ninjas 2, 3, 4: Why are we here? Ninja 1: We are looking for the Book of the Dead Ninjas 2, 3, 4: The Book of the Dead? Ninja 1: Yes, we are looking for the Book of the Dead. Ninjas 2, 3, 4: Where is it? Ninja 1: It is in the museum. Let’s go. Scene 3 in a museum

Some children come on and say “Scene 2, in a museum in the present day” Museum guard 1, 2: Hello everyone, welcome to our museum. Museum guard 1: What’s this? Museum guard 2: This is our new exhibit. It is the Book of the Dead. Museum guard 1: Where is it from? Museum guard 2: It is from China. We found it in this tomb. Enter teacher. Teacher: Hello, I am a teacher and these are my children. The guards look behind the teacher and are surprised that there are no children anywhere. The teacher turns around and realises the children aren’t there. Teacher: Children! Come here! Children run on. Henry: Hello everyone, my name is Horrid Henry. Margaret: My name is Moody Margaret. Ralph: My name is Ralph. Henry, Margaret, Ralph: We are naughty. We are very naughty! Museum guard 1: Hello, children, welcome to our museum. The children blow raspberries at the museum guards. Teacher: Don’t be horrid children! Ralph: What’s this? Museum guard 1: It’s the Book of the Dead.

Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2013 3 Margaret: Where is it from? Museum guard 1: It’s from China. We found it in this tomb. Henry, Margaret, Ralph: Wow! Henry: Can I play with it! Museum guard 1: No! Teacher: Don’t be horrid Henry! It’s time to go. Exit children and teacher. Museum Guard 1: I’m tired. Museum Guard 2: Me too. The guards go to sleep on some chairs. Mission impossible music as the ninjas enter through the audience and climb up on stage. Ninjas 2, 3, 4: Where are we? Ninja 1: We are in the museum. Ninjas 2, 3, 4: Why are we here? Ninja 1: We want the Book of the Dead. Ninjas 2: Look for the Book of the Dead. Ninja 2: Atchoo. Museum guard 1: What was that? Museum guard 1: Nothing. Go to sleep. Ninja 3: Atchoo. Museum guard 1: What was that? Museum guard 1: Nothing. Go to sleep. Ninja 4: Atchoo. Museum guard 1: Who are you? Ninjas: We are the Kung Fu Ninjas, hai ya! (doing kung fu kick!) Ninja 1: Take the Book of the Dead The guards fight the ninjas and knock them all over except Ninja 1. Ha, ha, ha, you can’t stop us! Ninja 1: Yes, I can. With this (taking the Book of the Dead). Museum guard 1, 2: That is only a book. Ninja 1: It’s a magic book. Museum guard 1, 2: Don’t be silly. Ninja 1: Watch this. Alexander the clever, wake up! Alexander, Sam and Sarah rise from the tomb as mummies. Alexander, Sam, Sarah: We are mummies, we are mummies! Museum guard 1, 2: Oh no! The mummies knock out the guards. The ninjas get up.

Some children come on and say ”Scene 4 in the park” Teacher: What are we going to do today? Henry: Can we put worms in my brother’s sandwich? Margaret: Can we put vinegar in the headmaster’s tea? Ralph: Can we put spiders in my sister’s bed? Teacher: Don’t be horrid children! Henry: Look, someone is coming. They all hide in the corner. Enter ninjas. Ninja 1: Ha, ha, ha. We have got the Book of the Dead. Ninja 2, 3, 4: What are we going to do with it? Ninja 1: We are going to rob the bank! Ninja 2, 3, 4: Rob the bank? Ninja 1: Yes, we are going to rob the bank. Ninja 1, 2, 3, 4: Ha, ha, ha, we are bad. No one is worse than us. Exit ninjas and Henry and friends stand up. Teacher: This is terrible. Ralph: Yes, this is terrible. Margaret: They are going to rob the bank. Henry: Rob the bank! I don’t care about the bank. They said no one is worse than them! Everyone: Yes. Henry: But I am Horrid Henry! I am the worst! Ralph, Margaret: We have to stop them. Teacher: Let’s go to the bank. Scene 5 in the bank

Some children come on and say “Scene 5 in the bank” Enter museum guards. Bank worker: Hello, can I help you? Museum guard 1: I’d like to take out some money. Bank worker: How much do you want to take out? Museum guard 1: Er…. 20 pounds, please. Bank worker: Next. Museum guard 2: I’d like to take out some money. Bank worker: How much do you want to take out?

Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2013 5 Museum guard 2: 30 pounds, please. Enter ninjas. Ninjas: Hands up! Museum guard 1, 2, bank worker: Who are you? Ninjas: We are the kung Fu ninjas! Museum guard 1, 2, bank worker: We are not scared of Ninjas! Ninjas: Ok, mummies! Enter mummies. Museum guard 1, 2, bank worker: Ok, we are scared of mummies! Mummies: Give us all your money! Ninja 2: Someone is coming. The ninjas tie up the bank worker and museum guards. Enter Horrid Henry and friends. Ralph: Where are we? Margaret: This is the bank. Teacher: Can you see any ninjas? Henry: No, I can’t. can you see any ninjas? Ralph, Teacher: No, I can’t. Ninja 1: Can I help you? Henry: Er… yes, I would like to take out some money. Ninja 2: Honey? You want some honey? Henry: No, money. Ninja 3: Mummy? You want your mummy? Henry, Ralph, Margaret, Teacher: No, money. M…O…N…E..Y… money! Ninja 4: Oh, you want some money. Henry, Ralph, Margaret, Teacher: Yes. Ninja 1, 2, 3, 4: We haven’t got any money. Henry, Ralph, Margaret, Teacher: You haven’t got any money? Ninja 1, 2, 3, 4: No, we haven’t got any money. Ninja 3: But we got some bananas. Ninja 4: And we’ve got some apples. Henry and friends move to the side. Henry: These bank workers are very strange. The museum guards suddenly escape. Guard 1: They are not bank workers. Guard 2: They are ninjas! Ninjas: Yes, we are the Kung Fu Ninjas! Hai ya!

Dominic Streames efltheatreclub.co.uk © 2013 6 There is a big fight and the children and museum guards knock out all the Ninjas except Ninja 1. Henry, Ralph, Margaret, Teacher: Ha, ha, ha, you can’t stop us! Ninjas: OK, mummies! The mummies come forward. Henry, Ralph, Margaret, Teacher: Oh no! Margaret: Henry! Get the Book of the Dead! Henry grabs the book. Henry: Page 10, how to make a cake. Margaret, Ralph, Teacher: No! Henry: Page 12 how to make a sandwich. Margaret, Ralph, Teacher: No! Henry: Page 14 how to stop mummies. Margaret, Ralph, Teacher: Yes! Henry: Wimble bimble, wimble bop. Make the mummies stop! The mummies freeze. Margaret, Ralph, Teacher: Mummies, get the ninjas. The mummies capture the ninjas. Everyone: Hooray, hooray! Teacher: Let’s have a party. Everyone: The end.