Once Again, the Washington Post Has Published the Winning Submissions to Its Yearly Neologism

The WP neologism contest exercise: match the neologisms with the appropriate definition.

1. Coffee a) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach 2. Flabbergasted b) describes the act when you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown 3. Abdicate c) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men 4. Esplanade (v.) d) to walk with a lisp 5. Willy-nilly e) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms 6. Negligent f) the person upon whom one coughs 7. Lymph (v.) g) a Rastafarian proctologist 8. Gargoyle h) to attempt an explanation while drunk 9. Flatulence i) the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof & gets stuck there 10. Balderdash j) impotent 11. Testicle k) appalled over how much weight you have gained 12. Rectitude l) olive-flavored mouthwash 13. Pokemon m) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller 14. Oyster n) a rapidly receding hairline 15. Frisbeetarianism o) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists 16. Circumvent p) a humorous question on an exam

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners (with the new definitions in a jumbled sequence): 1. Bozone: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 2. Arachnoleptic fit: The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. 3. Cashtration: Terminal coolness. 4. Giraffiti: A person who's stupid AND an asshole. 5. Sarchasm: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. 6. Inoculatte (v): Satan in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 in the morning & cannot be cast out. 7. Hipatitis: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 8. Osteopornosis: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 9. Karmageddon: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 10. Decafalon: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 11. Glibido: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Dopeler effect: A degenerate disease. 13. Foreploy: All talk and no action. 14. Beelzebug: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Caterpallor: The act of buying a house, which renders you financially impotent for an indefinite period. 16. Ignoranus: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only what is good for you.

see also: http://bertc.com/subfour/truth/sniglets.htm or: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet