Elliot Tiber Con Tom Monte Taking Woodstock

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Elliot Tiber Con Tom Monte Taking Woodstock Elliot Tiber con Tom Monte Taking Woodstock Traduzione di Valerio Bartolucci Rizzoli Proprietà letteraria riservata © 2007 by Elliot Tiber and Tom Monte Reprinted by special arrangement with Square One Publishers, Garden City Park, New York, USA © 2009 RCS Libri S.p.A., Milano ISBN 978-88-17-03289-6 Prima edizione: giugno 2009 Alla famiglia della Nazione di Woodstock, che ho nel cuore dal 1969 Questo libro è anche dedicato al compagno della mia vita, André Ernotte, che di certo da lassù condivide questa mia gioia e le memorie del nostro passato insieme 1 Perduto a White Lake «Elli!» Rieccoci. Mammina stava urlando a squarciagola il mio nome, manco fosse intrappolata in un edificio in fiamme. Strillava così forte che la sua voce sovrastava il frastuono del tagliaerba che spingevo svogliatamente su e giù per il prato. Le urla arrivavano dalla reception del nostro motel a White Lake, un paesino minuscolo che si affaccia sul lago tra le montagne di Catskill. Mi girai per cercare l'incendio o quantomeno una traccia di fumo. Niente, naturalmente. Quindi tutta questa tragedia doveva essere al massimo un rubinetto che perdeva. «Eliyahu!» Ora aveva gridato il mio nome di nascita ebraico per farmi capire che la situazione era davvero seria. «La tua povera mammina ha bisogno di te.» La sua voce mi perforava come la lama di un coltello. Spensi il vecchio tagliaerba arrugginito e m'incamminai verso la reception. Mia madre era in piedi, dietro la cassa, e fronteggiava un uomo basso con una camicia rossa, i bermuda giallo senape, i calzini al ginocchio e un cappellino calato sulla testa calva. Era così incazzato che schiumava di rabbia. «Che problema hai, ma'?» «Questo elegante signore in Cadillac chiede di essere rimborsato» disse fendendo l'aria con la mano destra prima di portarla sul cuore, come a prevenire un infarto imminente. «Gliel'ho detto e ripetuto: "Niente rimborsi". Non ho camminato fin qui da Minsk, in Russia, con sei metri di neve, una manciata di patate fredde in tasca e i soldati dello Zar alle calcagna, solo per rimborsare la sua camera, caro il mio signore elegante che protesta per le lenzuola.» «Ma sono luride» ribatté, tentando di controllare la sua rabbia. «E ho trovato… peli pubici nel letto, Cristo santo. Il telefono non funziona e l'aria condizionata non c'è; è solo un involucro di plastica attaccato alla finestra.» Era tutto vero, naturalmente. Per anni non avevamo avuto una lavatrice; così mio padre, che era l'addetto alla manutenzione e il factotum del motel, portava le lenzuola in cantina, le ammucchiava, versava un po' di detersivo e le inondava con la pompa. A volte non si preoccupava neanche di mettere il detersivo. Dopodiché le portavamo ad asciugare nella zona semipaludosa alle spalle del motel, dove c'erano centinaia di pini, perché prendessero la tipica fragranza «silvestre». Quando infine comprammo la lavatrice, spesso mammina si rifiutava di mettere il detersivo per risparmiare qualche soldo. Anche adesso, di solito, evita di lavarle, preferisce spazzolare via i peli e stirarle mentre sono ancora sul letto. Per quanto riguardava il telefono e l'aria condizionata erano soltanto decorazioni. Un giorno, un impiegato bilioso della compagnia telefonica arrivò con un centinaio di telefoni e una vecchia centralina – probabilmente degli anni Quaranta – e si offrì di installarli, illegalmente, per cinquecento dollari. Mia madre, sempre la più sveglia quando c'era da contrattare, gli fece una controfferta. «Caro telefonista, crede che nel 1914 abbia camminato fin qui da Minsk nel cuore della notte con qualche patata cruda in tasca solo per farmi fregare da lei e i suoi telefoni? Tutto quello che le posso dare sono dodici dollari, più una decina di birre e un piatto di cholent bollente, servito con amore» che era la versione di mia madre dello stufato di manzo con patate. Infine siglò l'accordo esclamando: «In cambio di questo, ci prendiamo tutto!». Il tipo fece spallucce, scaricò quella caterva di telefoni, cavi e centraline nell'ufficio, prese i soldi e se ne andò a bere. Senza il suo aiuto non potevamo fare granché, ovvio, questo significava aver comprato per dodici dollari solo l'illusione di avere i telefoni. Aiutai pa' a portarli nelle camere, poi lui li installò fissandoli in qualche modo con graffette e nastro adesivo. Successivamente rimediammo alcune grate degli impianti d'aria condizionata e le adattammo alle finestre. Quindi, appesi un po' di cartelli nelle stanze e intorno al motel: «Scusate il disagio, stiamo installando telefoni e aria condizionata per il vostro comfort». Queste erano alcune delle ragioni per cui facevamo pagare i nostri clienti in contanti e in anticipo, prima ancora che potessero vedere le camere, e per cui avevo disseminato un discreto numero di cartelli sul bancone della reception: «Pagamento in contanti. Niente rimborsi». Ogni volta che si presentava qualcuno con la carta di credito, mia madre partiva a razzo. «Signore, mi ascolti. Sono una vecchia mamma ebrea che fa tanti sacrifici per comprare un po' di latte caldo ai suoi figli» e poi concludeva: «Terrò questa carta di credito fino a quando mi darà i contanti. Anzi, se li faccia dare da sua moglie». Non avevo certo il dono dell'ubiquità, e questo voleva dire lasciare a volte mia madre sola in un corpo a corpo con potenziali clienti; un incubo sia per gli affari sia sul piano umano, visto che poi ero io a dover sistemare i casini che combinava. Il che ci riporta all'uomo che ora avevo di fronte, con sul viso chiari intenti omicidi nei confronti di madre e figlio assieme. «Nella camera non ci sono neanche gli asciugamani» insisté l'uomo. «Oh, adesso anche gli asciugamani. Se vuole un asciugamano» proseguì mia madre, «paghi un extra. Se vuole il sapone paghi un dollaro in più. Crede che li regaliamo questi optional? Le sembro la signora Rockafeller?» «Ma che razza di fregatura è questa?» ruggì l'uomo scuotendo la testa. «Rivoglio i miei soldi!» Avrei voluto avvertirlo che il suo denaro era scomparso nel momento stesso in cui lo aveva consegnato a mia madre. I soldi scivolavano in una sorta d'intervallo cosmico nel continuum spaziotemporale, un buco nero la cui apertura poteva essere localizzata nel reggiseno di mia madre. Quale fosse il percorso successivo, nessuno lo può sapere, e avevo smesso di domandarmelo. Tuttavia, per quanti clienti riuscissimo ad avere in un mese – in ogni caso sempre troppo pochi persino in alta stagione – non avevamo mai abbastanza per pagare rata del mutuo e bolletta della luce. La misteriosa sparizione della moneta si legava indissolubilmente a quella che amavo chiamare «la maledizione dei Teichberg», un flagello che ci garantiva un'eterna crisi finanziaria. Anche per questo mi ero cambiato il nome da Eliyahu Teichberg a Elliot Tiber, nel patetico quanto inefficace tentativo di separarmi dal terribile karma familiare. Benvenuto al motel Inferno, avrei voluto dire a quest'uomo e a chiunque fosse in grado di ascoltarmi. Ma gli risparmiai tutti i cruenti dettagli e gli dissi come funzionavano le cose nel nostro miserabile motel. «Il cartello dice: "Niente rimborsi"» aggiunsi a muso duro. «Lei paga e si prende la camera così com'è. Questa è la regola.» L'uomo sbatté la mano sul bancone e si precipitò fuori dalla reception. «Bene così, mammina, un altro cliente soddisfatto» commentai senza guardarla. «Ti sei mai chiesta perché non tornano mai? La risposta è uscita dalla porta in questo momento.» «Ti devi trovare una fidanzata!» urlò mia madre. «Quando mi farai nonna?» Mi seguì oltre la porta principale, gesticolando furiosamente per imprimere più enfasi alle parole. «Elliot! Dove stai andando?» «Vado al negozio. È finito il latte» ribattei. Montai sulla mia Buick decappottabile nera e imboccai la statale 17B. Solo quando vidi il motel rimpicciolirsi nello specchietto retrovisore, ripresi a respirare normalmente. Era l'inizio di giugno del 1969, e il bel tempo era l'unica cosa decente che si potesse avere a White Lake, una piccola frazione di un paese chiamato Bethel, giusto novanta miglia a nord di New York City. Quando arrivammo a White Lake nel 1955, Bethel aveva un corpo di volontari dei vigili del fuoco, un idraulico astioso, una ventina di bar e una popolazione di circa duemilacinquecento anime molte delle quali, come scoprimmo più tardi, del tutto bigotte. Poco o niente cambiò nei quattordici anni successivi. I monti Catskill erano noti anche come la cintura di Borscht, nome preso in prestito dalla famosa zuppa di barbabietole, piatto prediletto di tanti ebrei dell'Est Europa. Gli ebrei cominciarono ad arrivare nella regione all'inizio del XX secolo. Aprirono hotel, motel e bungalow dove il ceto medio, o anche meno – quasi tutti ebrei newyorkesi – poteva sfuggire alla calura della città. Con il tempo furono costruiti grandi hotel come il Grossinger's e il Concord, dove comici del calibro di Sid Caesar, Danny Kaye, Mel Brooks e Jerry Lewis si esibivano di continuo. I proprietari di hotel, motel e bungalow crearono posti di lavoro e la regione prosperò fino alla metà degli anni Cinquanta, quando la gente si rese conto che per lo stesso prezzo poteva villeggiare in Florida o a Santa Fe. A quel punto, l'economia locale collassò, e fu proprio allora che i miei genitori pensarono bene di comprare il motel, che chiamammo El Monaco. Alla fine degli anni Sessanta White Lake, al pari dell'intera regione dei monti Catskill, si trovò nel pieno di una recessione economica. Per tutta Bethel case, motel e vecchi hotel vittoriani erano ormai in rovina. Le verande cadevano a pezzi e le persiane penzolavano alle finestre. Molti residenti lasciavano crescere l'edera sui muri delle case per nascondere la tintura scrostata e il legno eroso dal tempo.
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