Ladies & Gentlemen in the Truest Sense of the Word

The Vision Splendid Speech by Warwick & Alison Marsh National Strategic Summit on Marriage, Family & Fatherhood 18th September 2007, 10.15 am Room 2R1, Parliament House, Canberra This speech was given jointly by W & A Marsh. Normal font spoken by Warwick, italics by Alison.

Ladies & Gentlemen in the truest sense of the word. Distinguished guests, firstly we would like to thank you for being here. The simple fact of your presence here today shows that you car. Many have travelled thousands of kilometres from all over Australia. The great majority have travelled at their own cost here today at Parliament House, all united by the passion to bring renewal to the marriage and families of Australia.

We are here because our children are innocent. They did not ask to be born. We have conceived them. We have brought them to birth. It is our duty to care for them, to protect them and give them the best possible environment in which to grow.

The best possible environment for a child is to grow up in is with their natural parents who share a mutual bond of love. Some call it complementarity, some call it mystery. We call it love. The greatest expression of love is the ability to say I do. Slip a ring on your husband or wife’s finger and say ‘for better / for worse, till death do us part.’ Life is short and love is long.

This reminds me of the time I was driving through Sydney with my van full. Five children plus one wife will fill any small people mover to the brim. It was a hot day and tension filled the air. I was sure that I knew where I was going. At least I thought I did, but I had forgotten my road map.

Honey why don’t you stop at a garage and buy a map? Look there’s a person over there; they might be able to tell us where to go.

But I was sure I knew where I was going and I was determined to get there. I was too proud to admit I was wrong. Too proud to admit that I was leading my family on a wild goose chase to never, never land.

Honey, please just stop and ask someone.

‘No way,’ I yelled as my temperature boiled over. ‘I know where I’m going.’ But it was patently obvious I didn’t. Almost swearing under my breath I pulled into a garage and looked at the map to find our destination. In no time at all we were there and enjoying the satisfaction of finding our way.

Why are we here today? We are here to provide a road map for a society that has lost its way. Only 6 weeks ago the Institute for Family Studies admitted that divorce is not a good thing for our children or our society as a whole.

As a young boy growing up in a broken home I could have told them that 40 years ago. Thankfully my parents did not divorce but they might as well have done. One of the greatest fears our young children have growing up is the ever present concern that their parents might get divorced. It’s not the atomic bomb, global warming or getting a job. It’s the fear of having to choose between mum and dad. The fear that maybe I am not really loved after all. Often this results in disastrous consequences. Tony Miller from Dads in Distress tells the story of 14 year old Chrystal who bought a canister of methylated spirits and went back to the now empty family home that was going through a forced sale. She went from room to room pouring the methylated sprits all over the carpet. What was she thinking at the time? Was she thinking about the good times? Was she thinking about the bad times? Was she thinking about birthday parties with her friends and mum and dad or was she thinking about the day her parents came to tell her the bad news - that they were going to get a divorce. The truth of the matter – we don’t know what she was thinking because she never lived to tell us. Crystal retreated into a corner of the home she once lived in and lit a match.

Our society has done much the same. We have retreated into the corner. The match has been struck. The house is burning. What must we do to be saved as a society?

It’s very simple. We must get a vision for our future. We must get a road map to our destination. We must put a priority on our relationships. We must find our way home because home is where the heart is. As Arnold Toynbee said, ‘Civilisations die from suicide not murder.’

Lindsay Tanner, Member for Melbourne, author of Crowded Lives, written in 2003 said, ‘The days of crude materialism are over. In the new era, politics will be more about relationships, recognition and human dignity . . . The role of social capital and the strength of relationships within a community are now recognised as fundamental factors in the economic and social wellbeing of that community. Although material wellbeing has improved dramatically in recent decades, overall levels of happiness have not.

Without better relationships, more money does not necessarily mean more happiness. Money won’t always solve the relationship problems in crowded lives. Expensive presents for our children are no substitute for love and attention.”

So what are the answers to the many problems that we face? We must first of all admit that we have a problem. This is going to take both courage and humility. I must confess I found it hard that day when I was lost in Sydney with my family to admit I was lost. I started to find my way the moment I came to the truth.

Secondly we must find a road map for our future. That is why we are here today. That is why we are b ringing before the government our policy proposals.

Thirdly we must affirm the obvious. We are men. We are women. We are what we are and we are who we need to be. We must abandon our pathologies and seek healing for our corporate hearts. Our relationships do matter. We find love as we admit our need for healing and collectively prioritise the things that really matter. Our children. Our mothers. Our fathers. Our families. Our marriages. Strong marriages mean strong families. Strong families mean a strong nation.

Our relationships define us. So let us define them. That is why we are here today. In the next few hours you will hear men and women who have thought bout our future. Each of them has a story to tell. They each have part of the road map. Together we can find our way home.

For further information please contact: Warwick Marsh – 0418 225 212