Questions/Rewrite of Banneker Essay

Let’s look at the following paragraph and discuss how it could be better:

The first paragraph opens up respectfully and with a walk down memory lane. Banneker asks Jefferson to remember how the Americans were and how he, Jefferson, was awfully repressed and unable to do anything due to the British Colony. He goes on to mention/ask how he feels right now because he has that freedom. The use of pathos not only makes Jefferson feel what Banneker wants him to feel, but also makes him more open to what Banneker has to say. The heavy use of memory and description helps the reader/audience see what Banneker wants to say because his diction is stunning; he uses just the right amount of words, the right amount of details, to see the atmosphere and make his audience fell.

1. Rewrite the above paragraph. Add short quotes and adjust the writing slightly if you think it’s necessary. 2. Read my sample essay (on back). Highlight my quotes. How many words long is the average quote? 3. Reread your Banneker essay. Did you get the passage? (Be honest.) Find a sentence or two from your essay that demonstrate a shaky/incomplete/straight-up incorrect interpretation of the passage. 4. What rhetorical strategies did you identify? 5. What rhetorical strategies did you miss or incompletely understand/explain? 6. Number your paragraphs in the left-hand margin. What was your weakest paragraph? (Just write the number.) What made it weak? 7. On a scale of 1-9, how do you score your essay? Explain in 2-3 sentences whether your analysis of the rhetorical strategies was effective (8/9), adequate (6/7) or inadequate (4/5). If it you had “little success” (2/3/1) explain whether you misunderstood the passage, misunderstood the prompt or were unable to develop coherent ideas about the rhetorical strategies. 8. Rewrite your Banneker essay, paying special attention to your use of quotes. Use small quotes (1-5 words) and integrate the quotes into your sentences. 9. Turn in your rewritten essay (1), your first draft (2), this paper (3) and the answers to these questions on separate sheet of paper (4). Due Friday, May 1.