Do-It-Yourself Country & Western Song Kit

Do-it-yourself Country & Western Song Kit

I met her (1)______(2)______; I can still recall (3)______she wore; She was (4)______(5)______(5) And I knew (6)______. (7)______I'd (8)______forever; She said to me (9)______; But who'd have thought she'd (10)______(11)______; (12)______goodbye.

1 2 3 4 5 on the highway in September that purple dress sobbin’ at the toll booth in the twilight outside Fresno at McDonald’s that little hat drinkin’ Dr. Pepper but I loved her at a truck stop ridin’ shotgun that burlap bra weighted down with Twinkies by the off-ramp on probation wrestlin’ gators those training pants breakin’ out with acne near Poughkeepsie in a jail cell all hunched over the stolen goods smellin’ kind of funny with her cobra in a nightmare poppin’ uppers that plastic nose crashin’ through the guardrail when she shot me incognito sort of pregnant the neon sign chewin’ on a hangnail on her elbows in a treehouse with joggers that creepy smile talkin’ in Swahili with Led Zeppelin in a gay bar stoned on oatmeal the hearing aid drownin’ in the quicksand with Miss Piggy at a rehab playin’ guitar the boxer shorts slurpin’ up linguini in her muu-muu by a trailer dead all over that afro wig munchin’ jalapenos as a side dish eatin’ supper whistling “Dixie” that cheap perfume shopliftin’ tomatoes very slowly the combat boots hot-wirin’ my pick-up with some sailors pregnant with the triplets without shoes on 6 7 8 9 no guy would ever love her more I promised her stay with her our love would never die that she would be an easy score I knew deep down warp her mind there was no other guy she’d bought her dentures in a store She asked me if swear off booze man wasn’t meant to fly that she would be a crashing bore I told her shrink take out trash that Nixon didn’t lie I’d never rate her more than “4” The judge declared punch her out her basset hound was shy they’d hate her guts in Baltimore Her daddy said live off her that Rolaids made her high it was a raven, nothing more I shrieked in pain have that rash she’d have a swiss on rye we really lost the last World War The painters knew stay a dwarf she loved my one blue eye I’d have to scrape her off the floor A Klingon said hate her dog her brother’s name was Tye what strong deodorants were for My hamster thought pick my nose that birthdays made her cry that she was rotten to the core The blood test showed play “Go Fish” she couldn’t stand my tie that I would upchuck on the floor Her momma knew salivate she used to be a guy walk the streets “go stick it in your eye” 10 11 12 run off with my best friend You’d think at least that she’d have said wind up in my Edsel I never had the chance to say boogie on a surfboard She told her dumb friend Grace to say yodel with her dentist I now can kiss my credit cards sky dive with a robot I guess I was too smashed to say turn green with no clothes on I watched her melt away and sobbed freak out at her health club She fell beneath the wheels and cried blast off in her Maytag She sent a hired thug to say make it with her guru She freaked out on the lawn and screamed black out while in labor I pushed her off the bridge and waved bobsled for my gun-rack But that’s the way that pygmies say grovel eatin’ breakfast She sealed me in the vault and said write songs Now I can kiss my credit cards drop dead The spraypaint on my truck spelled out