Crafting Sentences

1. Eliminate: wordiness – personally, I think redundancies – in today’s American society at the present time all purpose modifiers – absolutely, really, truly, great

2. Use coordination and subordination to create effective sentences and to combine sentences. a) The sun did not come out today, and the rain never stopped. b) Although Dan was sick with the flu, he turned his paper in on time.

3. Create and maintain parallel structure. To Rita, Ed was a real catch; to her parents, he was an aimless drifter. I want not only ______but also ______.

4. Vary sentence lengths. a) Vary sentence openers (with participial phrases, appositives, clauses etc.) — e.g. Hovering over the roof, the helicopter frightened the dogs. b) Vary sentence types (simple, compound, complex) c) Vary rhetorical types 1. Periodic sentence – postpones the main idea to the end – e.g. For job training, for fostering an understanding of values, for meeting other people with similar interests, for drama or philosophy, for waking yourself up – a college campus is the place. 2. Cumulative – begins with main idea and builds in phrases and clauses – e.g. A college campus is the place for …

5. Choose strong verbs a) Eliminate forms of verb to be as the main verb – Constant viewing of TV is harmful to a child’s emotional development. Constant viewing of TV stunts and distorts a child’s emotional development. b) Change nouns to verbs if possible -- The requirement is that men be clean shaven to work at the Health Administration. The health Administration requires that men be clean shaven. c) Choose between active and passive voice – Aim for active where possible. The committee reviewed the proposals. The proposals were reviewed by the committee. Five Useful Ways to Join Ideas

Option1 Independent clause ,Coordination independent clause. Coordination = [and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet]

Option 2 Independent clause ; independent clause.

Option 3 Independent clause [consequently, furthermore, however, in addition, indeed, in fact, moreover, nevertheless, then, therefore] independent clause;

Option 4 Independent clause Subordination dependent clause. Subordination = [after, although, as (as if), because, before, if, since, unless, until, when(ever), whereas, while ]

Option 5 [After, Although, As (As if), Because, Before, If, Since, Unless, Until, When(ever), Whereas, While ] dependent clause, independent clause. Sentence Types and Sentence Crafting

Developing an effective writing requires an understanding of sentence types and an ability to use a variety of sentence patterns.

A. Some sentence types: (See Scribner Handbook, p. 239) See if you can find an example of each type in one of your drafts. Try to combine a few short sentences together.

1. Simple – has one main IC (independent clause), though it might be attached to word phrases. e.g. Susan Glaspell wrote “Trifles” at the beginning of the 20th century. eg. of word phrase- at the beginning of the 20th century.

2. Compound—pattern is a follows: IC, conjunction, (and, but, so, for) IC e.g. Susan Glaspell expresses her views about the lack of understanding between men and women, so her play is sometimes compared to Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.

3. Complex – pattern is as follows: DC (dependent, or subordinating clause), IC, or ICDC; the dependent clause begins with a subordinating conjunction (see list in SH: e.g. When, because, if, after, although, since, that, which) e.g. When Susan Glaspell wrote “Trifles”, women were expected to spend most of their time with domestic chores.

4. Compound-Complex-has two or more IC’s and at least one DC e.g. When Susan Glaspell wrote her play, women were not expected to voice their demands, but now more women have the freedom to control their own lives.

B. Sentence Patterns to Imitate IC; IC, or compound sentence without a conjunction; pattern is as follows: SV; (subject-verb) SV e.g. In “Trifles” Susan Glaspell writes about an unhappy woman who is driven to murder; the author criticizes the male-dominated society that victimizes women. Try to use a few sentences that follow this pattern, but do not overuse, or your writing will suffer from choppiness. Do you know the difference between a, (comma) and a; (semi-colon) and a: (colon)?

C. Other patterns to imitate. 1. Using a participial phrase: e.g. Seeking clues to Mr. Wright’s murder, Mrs Hale and Mrs. Peters peek into Mrs. Wright’s sewing basket. 2. Using an appositive: Mrs. Wright, an unhappy, emotionally abused wife, strikes back at her husband after he kills her bird. 3. Using a noun phrase: Mrs Wright is unhappy and emotionally abused, a woman at the end of her rope, figuratively and literally speaking. Effective Sentences

Begin with an infinitive

To be an effective complainer, you must be both persistent and loud.

Begin with a modifying clause

Whenever I make chocolate chip cookies, I end up eating half the chips before they make it into the dough.

Begin with a noun clause

Whoever gets there first gets the most to eat.

Begin with a participle

Popping a Certs into his mouth, Tony hesitated before ringing the doorbell.

Begin with a suspended transition

Scientists, however, have recently developed new superconductors that may someday make commercial fusion reactors a reality.

Varied Types of Sentences

The cumulative sentence The cumulative sentence is built by addition; it adds details either before or after the main idea has been established. For example:

He strode into the bowling alley carrying his new shoes, brand new, two-tone bowling shoes, the ultimate in sophisticated bowling apparel.

Set up as a problem in sentence combining, the sentence looks like this:

He strode into the bowling alley carrying his new shoes. They were brand new, two–tone bowling shoes. (,) They were the ultimate in sophisticated bowling apparel. (,)

The two modifying sentence are reduced to descriptive phrases and added to the main clause. Since these cumulative modifiers are nonrestrictive (they can be removed without changing the main idea of the sentence), they must be set off with commas. Notice too that the modifiers add not only descriptive details, they also add specificity. Sentence to Edit and Admire

Part I. Identify the problems and correct to make sentence(s) more effective and/or point out what makes sentence vibrant and vigorous.

1. The environment will always have an affect on the type of person we are today. No matter where you are or how long you have been there for.

2. I was forced to attend a particular church by my aunt, she claimed it was the only church that could save me from the devil.

3 .In my final selection Boys and Girls by Alice Monroe the conflict of a woman wanting to do a man’s job is also told from the third person point of view as the author being portrayed as the girl.

4. Some of these obstacles may be physically, emotionally or spiritually.

5. Going to catholic school put a lot of pressure on myself who really does not know much about Jesus at the time.

6. He now has hands that have feelings, and a genuine sorrow that feels pain. His emotions are left bare, like an open wound.

7. At the time he may not have known what he was doing, however he took a huge leap into the next stage of his life.

8. His mother, father, and even the boys in the field who “talk to him as though he were a little boy”(94) represent external conflicts that contribute to Dave’s anger.

9. In “Boys and Girls” like the young girl telling the story, I never liked doing the housework simply because I didn’t like the fact of predetermined duties for girls.

10. Children are like flowers, just waiting to bloom into adulthood. Part II. Sentence Types and Sentence Crafting Developing an effective writing style requires an understanding of sentence types and an ability to use a variety of sentence patterns.

A. Some sentence types: Working with a partner, you should see if you could find an example of each in your drafts, and, perhaps, combine a few short, simple sentences together.

1. Simple – has one main IC (independent clause)—though it might be attached to word phrases; basic pattern = S (subject) – v (verb) e.g. Emerson wrote “Self-Reliance.”

2. Compound – IC, conjunction (and, but, so, for) IC e.g. Emerson wrote “Self-Reliance,” and Jackson used some of his ideas in “The Lottery.”

3. Complex – DC (dependent, or subordinating clause), IC or ICDC; dependent clause begins with subordinating conjunctions: when, because, if, after, although, since, that which, etc. e.g. When Emerson wrote “Self-Reliance,” he optimistically believed that individuals were virtuous at heart.

4. Compound-complex—has two or more IC’s and at least one DC e.g. When Emerson wrote “self-Reliance,” he optimistically believed that individuals were virtuous, but now many people criticize him for implying that selfishness is acceptable.

B. Sentence patterns to imitate 1. SV; SV (compound sentence without a conjunction) In “self-Reliance,” Emerson writes about the sanctity of the individual; he believes a society that demands conformity is misguided.

Try to sue one sentence that follows this pattern in your draft. Do not overuse, or your writing will suffer from choppiness.

Do you know the difference between a ; and a :(colon)?