So After the 100Th Time She Said This I Took My Son and We Went Home

1- Think of a real-life problem that may come up recently in your life. Describe briefly how you could apply Polya's problem solving steps to this problem?

There was a problem that recently came up and parts of it may come up again. I think I actually applied part of Polya’s problem solving to the problem.

My son Dominic has special needs in school and I was getting him ready to start kindergarten where his big brother goes to school. The people who do his pre-school did not like the fact that I wanted to send him to that school and they 'bullied' me every step of the way. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I took Dominic to his kindergarten screening.

We went in and the kindergarten teacher was getting him to do stuff which for my son was a huge, huge deal. (He has pervasive developmental delay, which translates to he doesn't like people he doesn't know and he doesn't like being in new places. He doesn't do well with change.) This one woman kept telling me that my son could not do any of this stuff and that I should just take him home.

So after the 100th time she said this I took my son and we went home.

I was in tears but then I got to thinking. At first I had wanted to go ahead and just home school him because obviously those people couldn't handle my son. I thought harder. The women who were doing the actual screening wanted him to stay, but this one woman had a problem with my son because of his differentness.

So my brain went into overdrive and I picked up the phone and called this woman who is an advocate for people who have children with special needs specializing in the autism side of it. The wealth of knowledge that I gained from that one phone call allowed me to have the upper hand at the next IEP meeting for my son.

Not only now is he going to the school I want him to, but he is going to have more help them I ever thought I could get him.

I found out that the mean woman that day had broken several laws put in place to protect children with disabilities from discrimination. When I mentioned this in the meeting for my son the whole atmosphere in the room changed I went from an overemotional mother to the person in control of the situation. I asked them questions about everything and got real answers. I am glad that I had the time to calm down before I went and made a final decision about my son’s education. The other thing that I had on my side was that on the day of the screening all of the teachers had mentioned this situation to the principal so I had not only my word but the word of six other people who worked in the building. I think that before that meeting I did about six hours of research on all of the laws for children with special needs.

The hardest part of solving this problem for me was identifying the heart of the problem. I knew it was not my son's fault. (And I am so thankful he didn't understand what was going on that day.) But for me to be able to sit down and really understand that the school counselor was the problem and not the women who were telling her to stop it, that took me longer than it should have.

But now I know what I need to do when another problem like this one comes up. I need to keep my cool and make sure that I have the source of the problem and always arm myself with knowledge. It is by far the most powerful I can get.

Where does George Polya’s problem solving come in?

Mostly, with one of his simplest ideas that I remember from the lecture: “If there is a problem you can’t solve, then there is an easier problem you can solve: find it.”

When I got home after the first meeting, I wanted to solve all problems. I want to solve my son’s problem. I wanted the counselor to be nicer to me. I wanted the counselor to respect my son. I wanted the counselor to get my son into the school. And many more things.

After I began thinking, I realized I had to find an easier problem I could solve, although those wouldn’t have been my words. I called the advocate and she helped me see the easier problem: How can I get the power I need to get my son into the right school?

And she helped me get that power, which was through the law. At the next meeting, I did not try to fix the counselor or the other people. I did not try to change their emotions or how they felt about my son. I simply showed that I had the power I needed for my child and that I knew that. And then I solved the real problem. The full steps of Polya’s problem solving are:

1. First, you have to understand the problem.

2. After understanding, then make a plan.

3. Carry out the plan.

4. Look back on your work.

5. How could it be better?

I can see now that the really started to understand the problem after talking to the advocate.

And the advocate helped me make the plan. I than carried out the plan by going to the meeting and it worked.

Now I look back on it and see that it worked well.

I don’t yet know if it could have been better, but I am still willing to learn from it so I will really be able to help my son in the future if we have any more problems. 2- Pick one of George Polya's quotes in the lecture and provide your opinions, pro or con, on its validity.

If there is a problem you can’t solve, then there is an easier problem you can solve: find it.

I think I already answered this question in my previous answer.

I really believe that if there is a problem you can’t solve, you tend to get overwhelmed by it. You think and think about it and it stops you from being able to do anything because it is too big.

But if you can find the easier problem to solve, then you might find that the bigger problem goes away, like I did. Sometimes you might have to get help in finding the easier problem, but I really believe you can find it if you try to.