Personal Narrative Revising Checklist (adapted from Write Source)

 Check your sensory details. Read through your first draft. Underline and label each sensory detail, using the following labels: “S”—See; “H”—Hear; “SM”— Smell; “T”—Taste; and “F”—Feel. Have you included a variety of sensory details? Have you used sensory details in your beginning, middle, and ending?

 Review your details. Make sure your details “SHOW” your ideas. (Remember… SHOW rather than TELL when possible/appropriate.) Use action verbs and concrete nouns.

 Reread your opening. Make any necessary changes to improve your beginning.

 Review for time order. Check the middle paragraphs of your narrative to make sure your events are in chronological order. Rearrange the events if necessary. Also check to see how well you have used transitions to help the reader move easily through your narrative. Visit this site for help with transitions: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/02/.

 Check your ending. Use the questions below to see if you have written a winning ending: a. Does my narrative end soon after the most important or intense moment? b. Will the reader be left with unanswered questions? (If you answered “yes”, make changes to bring the reader to a satisfying ending.)

 Check for voice. Rewrite any parts of your narrative that don’t sound like the real you. Consider adding more of your own thoughts and feelings at the time of the event.

 Check the dialogue in your narrative. Do I include enough dialogue? Does it sound realistic? Does it reveal something important about the plot or about a character?

 Revise for word choice. Think about the feeling you want to express in your story. (Determination? nervousness? enthusiasm? etc.) List words that fit that feeling. Make changes to express the correct feeling in your writing.

 Expand your choice of words. Look through your narrative. Are there any nouns that could be modified with a PARTICIPLE? Visit this page and read “Painting with Participles”: http://grundyenglish.com/eng1a/eng1adocuments/brushstrokes.htm.

 Check your sentences. Add important details to your narrative by using prepositional phrases and word groups that begin with participles. Include a variety of sentence lengths.  Review your narrative. Find a place where you can use a short sentence to stress an important idea. Reread that part of the essay to see if your special sentence is effective.