Four Mistaken Goals of Behavior

FOUR MISTAKEN GOALS OF BEHAVIOR

Mistaken Goal Why would someone How would I know? Possible Responses do this?

ATTENTION I need to be valued or If YOU feel irritated,  Ignore the misbehavior, focus on giving validated...I need to be annoyed, or if it appears that attention for appropriate behavior noticed and any attention response or behaviors serve (probable  Impose a logical consequence AFFIRMATION issues) is better than NO no purpose other than  Provide options / choices attention generating a reaction…  Redirect the child towards a more appropriate ATTENTION is the likely behavior reason.

POWER I need to have some If YOU feel threatened, Stay CALM, COOL, and COLLECTED…Do not control and if you won’t caught off-guard, engage in a power struggle. After a cooling-off period, give me any…I’ll just embarrassed in front of the you can try: (may also have some possible take it. group, challenged, or if YOU  Conducting a one-to-one problem solving AFFIRMATION, feel physiological changes session –involve the student in the solution PURPOSE, or (heart racing, face  Redirecting the child’s need for power in a CHALLENGE issues) reddening, veins throbbing) more constructive direction …POWER is most likely at  Examining your assignments…perhaps more stake. choice would be helpful

REVENGE I’m angry, hurt, or Basically, if YOUR feelings Stay CALM, COOL, and COLLECTED…Avoid frustrated...I don’t know are hurt or if you feel sad, quick reactions or “retaliation”. When appropriate, (problems may exist in how to handle these disappointed, or “let talk with the student; discuss your feelings, actively the areas of emotions so I’m getting down”…REVENGE was listen, and model assertive communication. AFFIRMATION, even. It’s pay back time! probably the motive POWER, PURPOSE, or CHALLENGE)

ASSUMED I don’t fit in…I don’t get If YOU are feeling Take a few steps back and reevaluate the situation. it…I’ll never learn this frustrated, inadequate, “at Perform a task analysis, identify the most basic INADEQUACY stuff…even if I try I’ll wits end”, or like the learner problem, develop a plan so the student can make only embarrass myself so just may never get it…then incremental progress, and then celebrate successive (possible issues relating why bother…I quit! you may have gotten sucked approximations of success. Validate and Value to PURPOSE, POWER, or CHALLENGE into the inadequacy trap. PRACTICE as a means to an end and treat mistakes as learning opportunities

Adapted from the work of Rudolph Dreikurs