Level 1 English Internal Assessment Resource

Internal assessment resource English 1.4A for Achievement Standard 90052 version 4 PAGE FOR STUDENT USE

Internal Assessment Resource Achievement Standard English 90052 version 4: Produce creative writing Resource reference: English 1.4A Resource title: Conflict and Resolution Credits: 3

Achievement with Achievement with Merit Achievement Excellence Develop and structure ideas Develop and structure ideas Develop and structure ideas in effectively in creative writing. convincingly in creative writing. creative writing. Use language features Use language features Use language features appropriate to audience and appropriate to audience and appropriate to audience and purpose with control to purpose with control in creative purpose in creative writing. command attention in creative writing. writing.

Student instructions

Introduction

This assessment requires you to develop and write a narrative short story for a specified audience and purpose. You will need to show that you understand how stories are structured. Before you begin writing, your teacher will assist you by working through a range of activities that help you develop your understanding of narrative structure. The exemplars provided by your teacher follow a similar structure and you should read them closely to see how they have been developed from sets of key details. You may also have specific writing workshops and time to practise writing skills, as well as in- class conferencing about the piece of writing you develop. You will be assessed on your ability to develop and structure ideas in creative writing, and use language features appropriate to the audience and purpose.

You will write a short story (a narrative) of at least 350 words, in which a character has to make a difficult decision. Your audience is other students and your teacher. Your purpose is to engage your audience and get them to think about the challenges and consequences of a difficult personal decision. You will need to make sure that the writing you submit for assessment:  is at least 350 words long  develops and structures ideas  uses language features that are appropriate to your audience and purpose Internal assessment resource English 1.4A for Achievement Standard 90052 version 4 PAGE FOR STUDENT USE

 has been checked for errors such as spelling and punctuation. The task involves several stages. See Resource A for further guidance and Resource B for a template that may assist you. Discuss the exemplars As part of your preparation for this assessment, you will discuss examples of writing. You need to examine them to see what makes them effective and what could be done to improve them. See Appendix A for an example. Plan and draft your own short story Brainstorm ideas and select the one that best meets the requirements of your instructions. Develop planning ideas for your own short story. You could use the chart provided in Resource B to help you develop a clear structure for your story. Plan and develop your draft. Prepare and submit your writing for assessment Edit, proofread and re-draft your work.

You may ask your teacher to read your drafts and provide you with some feedback / feed forward.

Please note: Your teacher cannot provide specific solutions but may be able to guide you in general terms about how you might improve your work.

When you are satisfied with your writing, hand it in for assessment.

Internal assessment resource English 1.4A for Achievement Standard 90052 version 4 PAGE FOR TEACHER USE

Assessment schedule: English 90052 version 4 Conflict and Resolution

Evidence/judgements for achievement Evidence/judgements for achievement Evidence/judgements for achievement with excellence with merit The student develops and structure ideas The student develops and structure ideas The student develops and structure ideas in effectively in creative writing and uses convincingly in creative writing and uses creative writing and uses language features language features appropriate to audience and language features appropriate to audience and appropriate to audience and purpose in creative purpose with control to command attention in purpose with control in creative writing. writing. creative writing. This means that in completing this assessment This means that in completing this assessment This means that in completing this assessment task, the student: task, the student: task, the student:  develops, plans, drafts and reworks a  develops, plans, drafts and reworks a  develops, plans, drafts and reworks a narrative short story of at least 350 words, narrative short story of at least 350 words, narrative short story of at least 350 words, in which a character has to make a difficult in which a character has to make a difficult in which a character has to make a difficult decision decision decision  develops and structures ideas by:  develops and structures ideas by:  develops and structures ideas by:  having ideas arranged in a logical  having ideas arranged in a logical  having ideas arranged in a logical sequence of paragraphs sequence of paragraphs sequence of paragraphs.  building on a single idea by adding  building on a single idea by adding  building on a single idea by adding details or examples, such as further details or examples, such as further details or examples, such as further explanation or “unpacking” the main explanation or “unpacking” the main explanation or “unpacking” the main ideas further ideas further ideas further  linking that idea to other ideas and  linking that idea to other ideas and  linking that idea to other ideas and details in a way that is appropriate to a details in a way that is appropriate to a details in a way that is appropriate to a short story short story short story  uses language features without intrusive  uses language features without intrusive  uses language features without intrusive errors or significant error patterns (e.g. errors or significant error patterns (e.g. errors or significant error patterns (e.g. unintentional sentence fragments, repeated unintentional sentence fragments, repeated unintentional sentence fragments, repeated spelling errors, mixed verb tense, ‘run-on’ spelling errors, mixed verb tense, ‘run-on’ spelling errors, mixed verb tense, ‘run-on’ syntax, spelling errors). This includes using: syntax, spelling errors). This includes using: syntax, spelling errors). This includes using:  appropriate vocabulary, syntax, stylistic  appropriate vocabulary, syntax, stylistic  appropriate vocabulary, syntax, stylistic features and written text conventions features and written text conventions features and written text conventions  develops ideas and structure that are  uses language features appropriate to a  develops ideas and structure that are generally credible and connected short story for an audience of their peers generally credible and connected, and are  uses language features appropriate to a and their teacher and the purpose of

compelling and well-organised short story for an audience of their peers engaging the audience to think about an  uses language features appropriate to a and their teacher and the purpose of aspect of making a difficult personal short story for an audience of their peers engaging the audience to think about an decision. and their teacher and the purpose of aspect of making a difficult personal engaging the audience to think about an decision Creative writing text types at this level may aspect of making a difficult personal  selects and links language features to the include descriptions, narratives, poems, decision intended purpose and audience for the personal accounts, scripts, or other appropriate  selects and links language features to the short story creative writing text types. Students are intended purpose and audience for the  uses text conventions accurately so that the required to draft, rework and present at least short story writing contains only minor errors. one piece of creative writing that expresses  uses language features in an original imaginative and creative ideas. manner that is sustained throughout the Creative writing text types at this level may Ideas may include thoughts, feelings, writing include descriptions, narratives, poems, experiences or sensory qualities.  uses language features to command personal accounts, scripts, or other appropriate attention by: creative writing text types. Students are Refer also to Exemplar C.  using them in an original manner that is required to draft, rework and present at least sustained throughout the writing one piece of creative writing that expresses imaginative and creative ideas.  having a distinctive personal voice Ideas may include thoughts, feelings,  uses text conventions accurately so that the experiences or sensory qualities. writing contains only minor errors.

Refer also to Exemplar B. Creative writing text types at this level may include descriptions, narratives, poems, personal accounts, scripts, or other appropriate creative writing text types. Students are required to draft, rework and present at least one piece of creative writing that expresses imaginative and creative ideas. Ideas may include thoughts, feelings, experiences or sensory qualities.

Refer also to Exemplar A.

Final grade will be decided using professional judgement based on a holistic examination of the evidence provided against the criteria in the Achievement Standard.

Exemplar A: Excellence

Read the notes in the right-hand column. They explain why the writing earned the grade it did.

The Greatest Gift of All The gold chain glistened in the perfectly manicured hand of the jewellery store assistant. “Isn’t this just lovely, sir? So delicate and so refined. I’m sure the young lady will just love it. And it’s so reasonable at only $200.” I just nodded casually and said “Yes, I’ll take it.” I said it like I did this everyday. As if I knew all about carats and craftmanship. As if people always called me Ideas ‘Sir’. As if $200 was a reasonable price to pay for something that was the size developed and weight of a piece of string. effectively, with original detail. I reached into my back pocket for my wallet, but all I found was buttock. That’s Logical when I felt the first, small panic. The panic grew as I frisked all the other structure. pockets in my cargo pants. God! Why do there have to be so many? And why do they all have to be buttoned? I frantically searched my shirt and my jacket but all I found was a measly 10 bucks. All the hum of the mall faded into silence, everything slowed down, the way it does when you watch as a dropped glass falls toward the ground. Controlled style commands The saleswoman placed the wrapped and ribboned box on the glass counter. attention. Uses “I..I…I’ve lost my wallet. All my cash is gone. $220 gone.” a range of figurative and Her wide lipsticked smile shrunk instantaneously into a tightly puckered descriptive pinprick. I knew that she didn’t believe me. She thought I went around getting language. Very effective my kicks by watching people wrap things I didn’t want to buy. creation of “Sorry,” I muttered and walked out into the mall. What was I going to do? It tension in build up to final was Janine’s and my three month anniversary tomorrow. I’d hinted that I was resolution. buying her something really special and she was going to be waiting for me at our special place down on the beach. I’d already spent my savings, my next two weeks pay, and every bit of credit I had with my friends, uncle, mother and brother. I had known all along that I was spending too much but there was a picture I couldn’t get out of my mind. The picture of Janine’s perfect skin glowing, and her white teeth and blue eyes Structure: sparkling in the reflection of a thick gold necklace. That picture had driven me, compelling and but it faded now. well-organised. The sun glistened on the golden sands as I walked toward Janine who sat waiting beside the sparkling blue sea. The fresh sea breeze mingled with the aroma of the wild flowers I had picked and the chocolate cake I had baked. I went up to her and kissed her. I presented her with the flowers and the cake. She looked Language featur overwhelmed. es used appropr “Oh. They’re so lovely! Did you really bake it yourself? And the flowers, they’re iately. Spelling, grammar, punctu so romantic! I’ve got something special for you”. I opened the wrapped and ation are accurat ribboned present she gave me and marvelled at her generosity in giving me e. A few minor er such an excellent watch. I felt so in love, so proud, so happy. She turned to me rors are allowed. smiling radiantly and asked, “So, what did you get me?” Two weeks later I saw her driving with Nicholas Pringle in his father’s red sports car. A week after that she rang and asked for the watch back.

Exemplar B: Merit

Bullyboy “Get away from me you geek!” Life has never been easy for me, I have been treated like a nobody for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I wish I had never been born, just so I Ideas: develops wouldn’t be constantly bullied. It’s all because of this classmate of mine ideas with named Joe. He’s in my class but he’s not a mate. He’s my very own convincing detail nightmare. He is big and tough and he has a lot of friends. Last Friday he ate about situation and narrator’s feelings. my lunch and put chewing gum in my hair. I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could tell someone, but who would listen to me, a geek and a nobody? Monday morning came around too quickly. I went round the last corner before school and I saw the very last thing I wanted to see. Joe and his gang. “Hey geek, what we having for lunch?” he said with his big ugly hands rubbing Controlled use of against each other. I didn’t say anything. What’s the point? It would only language features. Some humour to make things worse, if that’s possible. relieve tension. “Morning geekazoid! he said, what are we having for lunch?” His face was so Creates suspense close I could feel his spit and smell his stinky breath. in final scene before going to “Bacon sandwiches” I reply. counsellor. “Good, that’s our favourite. Hmmm. Hand it over” I pretended to look in my bag and then I ran, I ran like I never ran before. I felt like Forrest Gump , except that Forrest Gump didn’t get caught. The next day I felt so much pain that I cried every time I moved. I wanted so Language featur es used appropr badly to tell someone but I didn’t know who. I don’t really know how but I iately. Spelling, found myself standing outside the Guidance Counsellor’s. I waited outside not grammar, punctu able to go inside. Every time I got close to knocking I would hear Joe’s voice ation are accurat and see his smirking face. e – a few minor e rrors. “How does it feel? Does it hurt? No one runs from me. No one! Don’t tell anyone I did this to you or it’ll be ten times worse. Now get out of my face, you look ugly.” I turned and walked away from the door. I knew what would happen if I told. I was halfway down the stairs when I realised that if I didn’t tell Structure: clearly I would get beaten up anyway. How could he make it ten times worse? That established situation with a just wasn’t possible, there was no way things could get any worse than they credible conflict. already were. I went up the stairs and knocked on the door. A friendly voice Clear build up to from inside called out, “Come in”. resolution.

Exemplar C: Achievement

Caught in the Act I stood totally scared as Michelle shoved a Mossimo tank top into her bag. Michelle, Christi and I were standing behind the clothes rack down the back Ideas are developed wi th detail. Incorporates t of the shop. “Hey, what the hell are you doing?” I whispered. he narrator’s reactions “Relax Monika, just find what you want and take it” said Christi putting a to the situation. blouse in her bag. I stood there, gazing deeply into their eyes. I couldn’t believe they were shoplifting. “Well? Are you gonna get that top you’ve always wanted?” asked Michelle. Language features I didn’t know what to say. Michelle was the type of girl who always tied used appropriately to short story form. Some herself in knots in the end. What was I going to do? These were my friends, variety in syntax and my very close friends. As much as I didn’t want to be left out, I also didn’t diction. want to steal. Michelle and Christi walked up to me, slowly. “Hurry up and grab what you want and let’s get out” they said as they shoved a head skarf each into their bags. All I could do was just stand there, then slowly I came right out and Clear structure: told them, “No, I can’t do this guys, I just can’t”. Christi looked at me with organised chronological sequence of events. doubt in her eyes. She looked like she was going to put the stuff back. I slowly walked outside and waited for them patiently. Two shaven-headed security guards ran from one corner of the store and dragged Michelle and Christi out. There was nothing that I could do or say Language features are generally accurate. to change things. I sat there and watched Christi crying out for help. Errors are minor and not Then they became distant and went with the security guards. I couldn’t do intrusive. anything but sit and watch their backs as they were lead away. I should have stopped them. I should have warned them, but it’s just too late now for me to do anything.

Exemplar D: Not Achieved

A Bad Day Ideas lack detail. I sat as I watched my mother try to use makeup to cover her brused face The writing is short so she could make it to my parent intervews. and therefore I saw a tear as she looked in the mirror at what my father had done to her. under-developed and unconvincing. It had been going on for as long as I could remember every night Dad would come home drunk shouting and throwing stuff around. I’d just lie there in my bed crying, trying to forget about it. Language features are But it hasn’t always been like this I could still remember when we used to not appropriate. have nights without all this when we were happy and we would go Little crafting [e.g.: care MacDonalds every night or the movies then Dad started drinking. with vocabulary selection and syntax] evident throu I know we need help but I couldn’t bring myself to ring the police. So I ghout. would just get up in the morning clean up the mess in the house and get Overwritten in parts. ready for school. One day I get up and just knew that today was going to be different. I was Clichéd in parts e.g. “ran like the wind.” walking home from school trying to work out why my mum was still with my Dad I turned the corner and saw a whole bunch of police cars and ambulanses around my house. Structure: end is rushed, I ran like the wind hoping it wasn’t my house but then I saw two cops unclear. dragging my mother out by her arms carrying a knife. I really wished I had done something. Language features are inaccurate: intrusive errors in spelling, punctuation, syntax, tense use.

Resource A: Further guidance

Exemplars Your teacher will discuss a range of exemplars with you. Read the exemplars closely to see how each one has developed ideas from the starter. Please note: You cannot use any material from exemplars you are given in your own writing. Discussing the exemplars Here are some observations you might make about the Excellence exemplar:  it focuses on one event  it is structured clearly and effectively by using the sequence: character and situation, object of desire, conflict, crisis, resolution  it gives us detailed descriptions of what the character thinks and feels. The detail is well- chosen and specific  it uses a mix of long and short sentences, including dialogue  it uses a wide range of vocabulary and language features, such as the precise use of verbs, e.g. mingled, glistened  it uses language features accurately, e.g. spelling, punctuation. Planning template A template is provided in Resource B that you may find helpful. This template outlines one common model of a narrative short story structure. You may choose to use this template to assist you in developing your own ideas and planning for your story. Notice how the ideas are developed by adding details or examples, and how ideas are linked. Preparing and submitting your writing for assessment Often what separates a weak piece of writing from a strong one is the time and effort the writer has spent editing and proofreading their work. These two processes have different purposes but are equally important in crafting an effective piece of writing. Editing means that you read your work and make improvements to the ideas and the language features of the piece. For example, you might:  strengthen your opening to command attention.  improve the flow of your sentences  vary the way that your sentences start  improve the links between your ideas  consider the effect of your language choices in developing your ideas  ensure you structure your ideas to suit audience and purpose. Proofreading means that you should check your work carefully for errors. Here are some common problems in student writing:  missing or incorrect punctuation  missing or misused capital letters

 incomplete or incorrect sentences  incorrect paragraphing  incorrect spelling  mixed up verb tenses. You may not be required to revise and edit your draft immediately. Your teacher may “park” your draft for a while so when you look at it again, you will see it in a new light.

Resource B: Planning template

Narrative Structure Key details for your story

CHARACTER AND SITUATION The writer develops the characters in ways appropriate to what s/he wants to say in their story about people and society in general. The writer clearly establishes a situation.

OBJECT OF DESIRE The writer introduces an object/person/concept that the main character wants and shows how important it is to that character.

CONFLICT The writer introduces a problem that makes it difficult for the main character to obtain the object of their desire. This could be an internal or external conflict.

CRISIS The writer creates a sense of tension by showing ways that the main character struggles to overcome obstacles. The crisis builds to a dilemma – a difficult decision the main character has to make.

RESOLUTION The writer makes sure that the reader has been prepared for the ending. The resolution relates to what it is the writer wants to say about people and society in general.

Appendix A: Looking at narrative structure – conflict, crisis, resolution

Read the following chart. The left hand column contains notes about the structure of a short story. The right hand column contains key details which have been used to plan a story.

Narrative Structure Key Details

CHARACTER AND SITUATION 2am Sunday morning. Teenager at a party. The writer develops the characters in ways Has borrowed car belonging to a parent on appropriate to what they want to say in their condition that he/she won’t drink any alcohol. story. The writer clearly establishes a He/she is drunk. situation.

OBJECT OF DESIRE Wants to get home. The writer introduces an object/person/concept that the main character wants and shows how important it is to them.

CONFLICT Inner conflict. Knows he/she has drunk too The writer introduces a problem that makes it much to drive safely but is very tempted. difficult for the main character to obtain the Parents are very anti-alcohol. 20 km from object of their desire. This could be an home on a cold, wet night. internal or external conflict.

CRISIS Friends pressure him/her to drive. Must The writer creates a sense of tension by make a difficult decision. showing ways that the main character struggles to overcome obstacles. The crisis builds to a dilemma – a difficult decision the main character has to make.

RESOLUTION The main character rings parents to pick The writer makes sure that the reader has him/her up. They are very angry that he/she been prepared for the ending. The resolution has been drinking. On the way home they relates to what it is the writer wants to say witness a horrific drunk-driving accident. about people and society in general.

Now read the short story on the next page. It was developed from the chart above. Read the notes in the boxes either side. On the left are the features of the narrative structure. On the right are notes describing some effective techniques in the story.

Title – ambiguous to create interest. Suitable to purpose Spinout and audience. Character and I collapsed on the floor and was amazed at how the situation crystal disco ball kept darting around in my head, even Interesting beginning after I closed my eyes. Peter tried to pull me up but I grabs attention and couldn’t move. immediately sets the “Man, get her on the couch, she’s out of it!” I heard scene. someone say. I was heaved up onto the couch, burping and shivering. I Realistic dialogue. couldn’t see out of my eyes but I could hear the loud, thumping music and the yells and screams of my fellow partiers. Foreshadowing – Everyone else partied on while Peter sat with me. He prepares reader for didn’t even complain. He always looked after everyone ending. better than he looked after himself.

Peter was my best friend and he sure did look after me Background details that night. It was his friend’s party and I’d been so rapt to interwoven into be allowed to go. I’d had to put up with the biggest storyline. lecture ever before Mum lent me the car. Object of “No Mum, trust me. I won’t drink and drive. I’m desire responsible.” Man, don’t parents ever trust their kids? Irony used for humour.

Conflict Then it hit me. It was already 2am and I was already an hour late. I was so wasted. I could hardly walk. How was I ever going to drive?

I needed to get home. I needed to get the car home. If Suspense created – Mum found out I’d been drinking I’d be dead. I could just what will she decide? Crisis imagine it. “No car, no friends, no allowance, no phone, no TV, no Play Station…” I’d be alright. I could make it. Park the car and get to bed. Mum would never know. I could avoid so much hassle. Writer builds suspense I stumbled to the car and finally got the door open when as she comes so close Peter grabbed my arm. to making a fatal “What the hell are you doing, Jane? “ decision. He took me inside, dialled my number, and passed me the phone.

Mum didn’t look at me or talk to me for a whole half hour. Resolution We stopped at the lights and she just glared at me. Her Simile creates image lips seemed to start to move but she didn’t get anything of how mother is out. She looked like she would explode. I shrunk away feeling. and avoided her gaze by staring out the window into the rain. That’s when I saw him. Peter, my best friend was lying on the road. The policeman was covering Peter’s Shock ending head with his blue jacket. As we pulled over I heard the effectively conveys sirens of the approaching ambulance. I knew it was too writer’s message late. about drink driving.