The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St

The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church

It is a valued ministry for the Pastor and Parish of St. Stephen’s, to prepare and support you in the celebration of your marriage. We welcome you. Christian Marriage calls for careful preparation. The process required by the Canon Law of the Episcopal Church is outlined below:

1) Adequate time must be given for preparation; at least 6 months is recommended, thirty days is the minimum. At least one of the parties needs to have received Holy Baptism. 2) The Rector directs the preparation process and the wedding service. Visiting clergy may assist. 3) If either or both of the parties have been previously married, additional time will be required to obtain permission from the Bishop of Maryland to bless the marriage. This involves a process of petition involving the Pastor and the couple. The Canons also provide that the “Member of the Clergy shall have instructed the parties that continuing concern must be shown for the well-being of the former spouse, and of any children of the prior marriage.” 4) The couple will be asked to sign the following declaration: “We, ( state your names,) desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in the Book of Common Prayer. We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body, and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and the knowledge and love of the Lord. And we do engage ourselves so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto.” 5) Because of our concern for you and your marriage, and to make it possible to sign the above declaration in a manner that is fully informed and in good conscience, instruction in the nature of Christian Marriage is a required part of our preparation. This will normally involve at least 4 sessions with the Pastor, and consultation as needed with the parish wedding facilitator, who can be very helpful in many of the details of the wedding planning and is familiar with the wedding policies of St. Stephen’s. a. The First Session – A time to get acquainted, to review the preparation process and to begin necessary paperwork. At this time the couple will receive The Pre-Marriage Awareness Inventory, a questionnaire that will guide discussion about important issues in a relationship; it is not a test. This should be returned to the Pastor before the second session. b. In the Second Session – we will review some of the important issues raised in The Pre-Marriage Awareness Inventory and discuss important relational issues such as communication, goals, and values. We can decide if we would like additional time to further work on any of them. c. The Third Session - we call “the soul of a marriage.” Drawing on the Bible and other sources, it is an exploration of how the power of God’s love can deepen and strengthen the love in your marriage now and in the years ahead. d. In the fourth Session, we will carefully review the Marriage Service in the Book of Common Prayer with a special accent on its meaning. By this time we will also want to be wrapping a number of the planning details of the Wedding Day, so everyone is feeling as comfortable as possible as we prepare for the Wedding Rehearsal which is normally the night before the Wedding.

As all of the above indicates, Marriage in the Church is a profoundly spiritual event. Because of this and our experience that a shared life of faith is very important for a successful marriage, we strongly encourage a couple to regularly attend church together, if not already doing so, as a part of preparation for this most holy and important commitment.

We continue to care about your marriage, even after the Wedding Day and so our Canons state “When marital unity is imperiled by dissension, it shall be the duty of either or both parties, before contemplating legal action, to lay the matter before a Member of the Clergy; and it shall be the duty of the Pastor to work for the reconciliation of the parties.”

You have made a good decision to begin your new marriage with the blessing and support of God and the Church.

The Rev. Steven Hagerman Rector, St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church Phone: 410-721-2881 Email: [email protected]