Revision Guidelines for Researched Narrative

Revising the Content: Do this FIRST!

 Have you focused on one or a few pivotal moments in your event?  Is most of the space in the paper dedicated to describing those moments?  Have you included descriptions of the major actors?  Have you described the setting?  Have you included dialogue where appropriate?  Have you indicated your thoughts and feelings at the time of the incident?  Have you organized the story in a way that is both understandable and interesting to readers?  Have you included time cues to let readers know where they are in the action? o Three hours later . . . o A half-hour passed . . . o Later that day . . .  Have you started the paper at a point in the story that will interest readers?  Have you indicated the significance of the event to you, both at the time and now?  Have you included information from THREE sources?  Have you introduced the source information with a signal phrase? (p. 471-73)  Have you ensured that quoted material fits the grammar of your sentence?  Have you put the page number in parentheses after the source material, if the source has numbered pages? (p. 483) o My situation was similar to that described by Reggie Hoffdervan in “Reasons to Listen,” where he writes, “the rousing drums propelled my blood through my veins, leaving me lightheaded but focused on the task at hand” (73).  Have you included a sentence or two of commentary following the source material that connects it to your story, either comparing or contrasting?  Did you include a compelling title? Editing

Comma splices: S,S. (p. HB-9-10) I ran for student body president, I lost.

1. S, for S. and nor but or yet so

I ran for student body president, and I lost. I ran for student body president, but I lost.

2. S; S. I ran for student body president; I lost.

3. S.S. I ran for student body president. I lost

Verb tenses: Keep them consistent

The room seems to close in around me = present tense The room seemed to close in around me = past tense

Formatting dialogue: Start a new paragraph when you change speakers. Use only one period per sentence. Put any required punctuation inside quotation marks. (p. 376-377)

“What on earth are you wearing that chicken costume for?” my mom asked. “It’s for my new job. I’m a chicken. I get to stand out in front of Jimmy’s Chicken Shack and wave to the people driving by. And if they stop in, I can give them a coupon for free chicken jerky with any purchase,” I explained. An expression of concern mingled with suppressed laughter crossed her face. I knew she wanted to laugh at me. Heck, I wanted to laugh at me. “Is that really how you want to spend your summer, honey?” she replied. “Yes!” I insisted. I tried to sound resolved and proud that I’d gotten a job at all. “Okay. If that’s what you want to do.” References: Double-check entries

- Article from a database: p. 553, #22 - Article from a Web site: p. 551, #20

Paragraph breaks are your friend!

Address only one topic per paragraph. You may have more than one paragraph about the same topic.

If you have a paragraph longer than half a page long, you might look for a place to break it. Give your readers’ eyes a break!

Titles

Book, magazine, and journal titles are italicized with important words capitalized The Norton Field Guide to Writing

Article titles do not have quotation marks, and only the first word, proper nouns, and the first word after a colon are capitalized “Ideas to improve the nontraditional college English experience”

Reword expletive constructions (there is, there are), remove intensifiers, and edit wordiness (p. HB-49-51)

NOT: There really were so many thoughts running through my head that day. INSTEAD: Thoughts flooded my mind.