Greater Boise Area Chapter of The Compassionate Friends P.O. Box 8565 Boise, ID 83707-2565 www.tcfboise.org

April 2015

THE MISSION OF THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS: When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and MONTHLY MEETING isolated. The compassionate friends provides highly personal comfort, hope and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a Next Meeting: daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist Thursday: April 9, 2015 the grieving family. 7:00 P.M. An Opportunity to Share Location: St. Luke's Regional Medical Center We are asking for short articles to be considered for inclusion in I-84 Eagle Exit to 520 S Eagle Road. our newsletter. Tell us what TCF has meant to you in your grief Use Main Entrance, Turn right, Down Stairs. journey and recovery process. I know many of you have inspiring words of encouragement to share with others about how you Come early to go through the library and learned to cope since the loss of your precious child, grandchild, greet new friends. or sibling. Up to 300 words. If you are interested, please e-mail your submission to Rae Ann This month's meeting: Norell at [email protected]. with your name and phone number, Thank you. Rae Ann Norell Important Information and Request Topic: To Be Announced We are in the process of updating our data base. Please fill out the Treats: To Be Determined form on the back of this newsletter (March) and mail it back to us at: STEERING COMMITTEE

Boise Chapter of Compassionate Friends P.O. Box 8565 Treasurer: Kris Martindale Initial Contact: Kathy & Tony Doramus Boise ID 83707-2565 Library: Brent Martindale Please update us with your current address, phone number and e-mail Meeting Facilitators: Rae Ann Norell, Brent & Kris Martindale, address. If you are able to receive the newsletter by e-mail, please Kyiah Shekanna Evans, Julie Vande Voorde note that on the form as well. If we haven’t received your form by Standing Members: Amanda & Andrew Hanson mid- March we will assume you no longer wish to receive the Newsletter: Chriselda Taylor newsletter. The newsletter is also available on-line at our local website, www.tcfboise.org Remaining meetings for Thank you all very much for helping us update our system, and 2015 stream-line the process of getting the newsletters out. Sincerely, May 14 Steering Committee TCF Boise area. June 11 July 09 Welcome August 13 If you are attending for the first meeting or receiving your first newsletter, we September 10 extend our hearts in understanding and regret for the reason you are joining us. It October 08 is so difficult attending your first TCF meeting. Feelings can be overwhelming, November 12 but we have all experienced them and know how important it is to take that first December10 step. Please plan to attend two or three meetings before deciding if TCF is of help FRIENDS WHO LISTEN to you. Welcome: Jim, Mindi & Lori Friends Who Listen Kathy Doramus: 208-467-1947 If you are having a day filled with hopelessness and despair, you might just need Brent Martindale: 208-378-1070 Rae Ann Norell: 208-447-8713 to talk. Please feel free to call any of the Friends listed to the right. Love Gifts Our chapter exists entirely on voluntary donations, which are tax-deductible. Our newsletter printing & mailing are our main expenses. Without your donations, there would be no newsletter or other contact with all the bereaved parents and siblings who look to us for support. This month we gratefully thank the following:  Verne & Viola Ward in loving memory of their granddaughter, and Makalie Jane

 Herzog Ron & Tracy Herzog in loving memory of their daughter, Makalie Herzog

 Karen Roark in loving memory of her son, Layton Kesner

 Bill & Janis Seufert in loving memory of Logan T Seufert

 Mike & Ann Martin in loving memory of their son, Jason Michael Martin

 Kathy & Keith in loving memory of their daughter, Sara Ballard

 Rae Ann Norell in loving memory of her son, David Norell

BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES

Child’s Name DOB DOD Child’s Name DOB DOD Adam Slone Apr 1 May 9 Bradley Morse Jan 18 Apr 2 Makalie Jane Herzog Apr 3 Dec 28 Ashley Woodard Apr 4 Apr 4 Ashley Woodard Apr 4 Apr 4 Autumn Kay Winters Oct 9 Apr 5 Taya Oshanick Apr 5 Feb 28 William (Bill) C Gosvenor, Jr Dec 2 Apr 7 Klayton Erwin Hanson Apr 6 Apr 12 Eric Baldwin Jun 8 Apr 8 Matt Arnold Apr 6 Jun 5 Heather Smith Oct 16 Apr 9 Matthew Tyler Addy Apr 7 Jul 19 Jason Martin May 10 Apr 10 Stephen Wayne Webb Apr 7 Jan 6 Val D Santillanes May 6 Apr 11 Dan Evans Apr 9 May 21 Klayton Erwin Hanson Apr 6 Apr 12 Kevin Salzman Apr 9 Sep 20 Gabe Tippetts Aug 6 Apr 13 John Lothrop Apr 11 Jun 5 Taylor Gramkow Jan 31 Apr 13 Layton Kesner Apr 13 Oct 2 Michael Steele Oct 19 Apr 16 Todd Charles Rist Apr 15 Mar 7 Justin Clement Jan 22 Apr 19 Brian Dahl Apr 17 Sep 29 Logan Seufert May 12 Apr 19 Paul James Root Apr 17 Mar 25 Jacob Hill May 25 Apr 20 Kristi Kobs Apr 21 May 16 Parnell Green Jun 18 Apr 21 Geoffrey Ryan House Apr 23 Oct 4 Olivia Schnacker Mar 14 Apr 22 Mindy McCulley Apr 23 Jan 17 Andrea Williams May 1 Apr 23 Marchus David Sailor Apr 25 May 6 Shad Farmer Dec 17 Apr 23 Seth Olson Apr 28 Feb 1 David May 22 Apr 24 Austin Christopherson Apr 29 Aug 29 David Norell May 22 Apr 24 Jacob Miles Apr 29 Mar 18 Jordan Kelly McInerney-Millard Mar 24 Apr 24 Micah Sullivan Apr 29 Jun 8 Daniel Marc Miller Jan 20 Apr 25 Kristyn Kinzler Apr 30 Nov 30 Conner Landa Jun 22 Apr 27 Ryker Longhurst Apr 30 Jan 23 Becca Aldrich Aug 25 Apr 28 Kristi Anne Quong Coursey Jan 25 Apr 28 Darren Bettis Oct 22 Apr 30 If your dedication has been missed or your child's name does not appear, please call Chriselda @ 208-250- 1060. We deeply regret any errors or omissions and welcome your corrections.

Arlene Priest (90,now) is getting an award --Donna Healy of the Gazette Staff (Written July 02,2005) Whenever a parent in the Billings area has lost a child, Arlene Priest has felt compelled to send a personal note to the family. "I have to do it because it meant so much to me," Priest said. Her son, Marc, died of viral encephalitis in 1980, at the age of 21. "At the time, it was just like my heart was ripped right out of my body. I was sort of moving around like a robot," she said. "I went to work, but I never knew how I even got from point A to point B. The first eight or nine months I can hardly remember." Priest, 78,(at the time of this article), who lives in Billings, found solace through The Compassionate Friends, an organization for parents mourning the death of a child. She cried through her first support group meeting of The Compassionate Friends and left determined never to return. But the monthly meetings kept drawing her back. "You have to work through grief" she said. "You can't go over it, under it, or around it. You have to go through it, as painful as it is. Some people try to just close the door, but eventually it's going to erupt." At the meetings, she found others who understood. Eventually, she became what the organization describes as a "seasoned griever," who could reach out to the newly bereaved. For 20 years, she has been the group's treasurer. For 10 years, she was the Billings chapter leader and edited the chapter newsletter. In 1998, she became the organization's regional coordinator, overseeing 14 chapters in Montana and Idaho. In 1989, she started a sibling group for the Billings chapter. During the past 18 years, Priest has only missed two national conferences. But this year's national conference, in Boston will always be special. At the conference Saturday evening, Priest was to receive a national appreciation award from The Compassionate Friends. Past award recipients include Harriet Schiff author of "The Bereaved Parent," and Karen Taylor Good, a singer who wrote the song "Precious Child." As a Compassionate Friends volunteer, writing notes to bereaved families has never been part of her job description. "I do it from Arlene, I do it as another mother" she said "I tell them my son died at 21 and I know how devastating it is. I know that pain. I want them to know there's somebody out there that understands and cares." She also sends notes to chapter members marking the birth and death dates of their deceased children and letting the families know she will light a candle for their child. "Every night, I light a candle for someone," she said. "There's just something about lighting a candle." She describes The Compassionate Friends as a group that no one wants to join. The average member stays about two years. Priest has stuck with it because she cares and because her own grief was so intense. Reaching out to others was instilled by her hard-working parents, although the family was extremely poor. Raised in Great Falls and in the mining town of Neihart in the Little Belt Mountains, she was the youngest of 11 children. Her father, a miner, also took painting jobs and gave haircuts to keep the family afloat. But her parents commonly helped others who were in even more dire circumstances. Priest also points to her son as her inspiration, her motivation for doing something that would make him proud. "I just knew, I had to bring back some meaning back into my life," she said. "And I hope, when I see him, that when he says to me, 'And Mom, what did you do with your life after I was gone?' that he already knows."

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight - --By Kahil Gibran-- "If Tears Could Build A Stairway" Only Spring: On Mourning the Death of My Son Dr. Gordon Livingston lost two sons in a 13 month If tears could build a stairway, period, losing one to suicide and one to leukemia. this and memories a lane. book is based on a journal he kept beginning when his I would walk right up to Heaven family received the news that his six-year-old son Lucas and bring you back again. had cancer. The book is a testament to Luca’s courageous battle, and the agony a parent goes through No farewell words were spoken, watching their child loss ground. Although a difficult No time to say "Goodbye". book to read, this book was helpful to me in my grief You were gone before I knew it, walk, even though my son did not die of a long illness, and only God knows why. but died suddenly. “The book depicts how this father lost faith but eventually gained hope.” As a doctor, Dr. My heart still aches with sadness, Livingston felt powerless in that he couldn’t change the and secret tears still flow. outcome nor “save” his child from dying. Lucas was a What it meant to love you - remarkable child whose legacy of hope and love can No one can ever know. enrich each of us. The book is a portrait of survival and gives us strength and faith to confront the most profound But now I know you want me challenges of our lives.” to mourn for you no more; To remember all the happy times Remaining meetings for 2015 life still has much in store. May 14 Since you'll never be forgotten, June 11 I pledge to you today~ July 09 A hollowed place within my heart is where you'll always stay. August 13 September 10 Author: Unknown October 08 November 12 December10 Boise Chapter Compassionate Friends Greater Boise Chapter NON-PROFIT ORGAN P.O. Box 8565 U. S. POSTAGE PAID Boise, ID 83707-2565 BOISE, ID PERMIT NO. 73 So Sorry for the delay of this Newsletter

April 2015

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