Plan Plans, Don T Count on Outcomes

Recovery From The Mountains To The Coast

Linn – Benton – Lincoln Area Narcotics Anonymous Newsletter October 2007 I need to say that I’m sorry that I didn’t get the last newsletter out but I have a lot going on in my life. I need some help with the newsletter and I’m going to set up a newsletter meeting and see if I can find some helpers. The newsletter meeting will be November 10, at 3:00 at my house ~ 455 SE Atwood Ave in Corvallis ~ 541 602-2133. Please call and let me know if you will be attending.

Well our summer has come and gone and winter is just around the corner. We had a couple of campouts this summer that were a great success. I hope that if you didn’t get to attend this summer you’ll be able to next year. Attending these campouts is a way of giving back to our families for what our addiction took away from us.

Plan plans, Don’t Count on Outcomes.

During our active addiction, many of us recovery, we feel like the empty shell we may have planned out different events in were upon arriving at our first meeting. And our lives from beginning to end. Fully we have to remember where the control believing those dreams (or possibly over the outcome for those dreams lie in delusions) of hope would come true, our each of our lives disease lied to us by reinforcing those If we’re living the spiritual principles unrealistic concepts with every binge, of the program to the best of our ability spree or run. One by one our illusions were each day, we realize that our dreams and shattered, leading us deeper into our the resulting outcomes may be two addiction. different things. Our will at that time may In recovery, we learn to live life on not be what our Higher Power has in store life’s terms. In time, at our own pace, each for us. However, we are learning the faith of us changes our old thought patterns and to understand that what the God of our behaviors. We start living in our current understanding has in mind is far better realities, each according to the will of the than what we could plan for ourselves. God of their understanding. Eventually we Now, today, I can plan plans, yet I find balance in our lives, adjusting to the can’t count on outcomes. When my circumstances and challenges we face expectations don’t coincide with reality, I each day. can realize that my Higher Power will take It’s human nature to have dreams care of me, so long as I am open to and make plans. Those things help make believing that God’s will in those times as up the positive energy that keeps hope the best plan for my life, as well as my alive in each of us. And without hope in

1 being willing to change my thoughts and behaviors to fit the situation. Joe A. – grateful recovering addict in - Am I trusting enough in my Higher central Pennsylvania Power to take care of the outcomes in my life?

I know that we have had this in our newsletter before but with fall in the air and Halloween around the corner it just seems to be a good time to put it in again.

A using addict asked an NA member, “What is it like to be in Recovery?” The recovering addict replied, “It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for the entire world to see.” This was passed on to me from another pumpkin.

Is it Service Work or Politics?

As I was talking with a friend, the conversation turned to certain personalities involved in service work. I still have the character defect of judging people who think they are in control or love to stir up controversy. Our conversation ended with my saying, “It’s all politics,” a phrase I’ve heard a lot in the service structure. It struck me as odd that recovering addicts who devote their life to helping carry the message, as I like to believe I have done, can one minute be trusted servants and the next minute be political leaders. I don’t need to like, or even understand, other people’s opinions or views to accept them.

Today, I welcome and learn from other addicts’ freedom of

2 Will I Get My Brain Back?

One week from tomorrow I will be celebrating five yeas clean. When I got clean at twenty-six yeas old I was clueless. I had no maturity or insight about this thing called life.

My first year of recovery was spent safely in the loving arms of NA. I got Into it deeply: constant attendance at meeting and making new, clean friends. I fondly recall New Year’s Eve 1987. With less than thirty days clean, I fearfully went with two women I barely knew to the mniconvention being held at a college in North Jersey. I was, quite frankly, terrified at the event. People seemed so at ease with themselves while I was struggling with the disease part of getting clean, not knowing what to say in those social situations and feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. I’m glad I went. I got the mug on the table which had the convention theme on it, “Staying Straight in ’88.” I still have that mug, and out of all the convention mugs I’ve collected over the last five years, it is by far the most cherished. I remember driving home after the convention. I started to feel some real joy at being clean. I remember thinking that this was the first New Year’s I could remember.

I took my first service commitment at eighty days clean. They had to waive clean time for me to become the secretary of the newsletter subcommittee. I was real nervous about fulfilling my new commitment, but I did it. I found service work to be a tremendous help to my recovery because it encouraged my interacting with other NA members that I probably would never have gotten to know. Service work also made me feel needed and wanted – feelings that were not familiar to me.

Five years later I am still involved in service work. In fact, I have never been without a commitment. I have found that service work has enhanced my life. My horizons have been broadened. I have met so many people who, like myself, are dedicated to the NA way of life.

I’ve had five sponsors in five years—not intentionally, it just happened that way. My first sponsor was tough and overbearing, and I really needed that then. But when she gave me total disapproval of my first clean relationship, at eight months clean, I moved on. And, yes, I paid dearly for not taking the “one year—no relationship” suggestion. My first relationship catapulted me into the world of codependency, settling into complete insanity. Mostly, I suffered. Not having anything to compare this relationship to also kept me in this painful situation for far too long. When it ended at almost two years clean, I had a tremendous amount of work, or cleaning up, to do. Although this experience was painful, I learned a lot about myself and my relationships with other. Today my romantic relationships hurt less and

3 The steps provide me with tools for living clean and give me he power to change. I’ve always been step-oriented, and I’m grateful for the guidance I’ve received over the years. I had to be willing to do the work and face the pain that, for me, accompanies change. Between my second and forth years clean, I battled resentments. It seems I was catching them left and right. My biggest help with them were the Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Steps. In Step Six I became willing through pain. In Step Seven I let God take my resentments. In Step Eight I forgave, and in Step Nine I was forgive, perhaps by others but mostly by myself.

Today I stay connected to NA and involved in the recovery process. I have a home group in which I ‘m active. I have close friends to whom I turn in both good and troubled times. I am a sponsor. When I’m away from home, I attend NA. Basically, we’re all the same whatever part of the world we live in. NA has changed my life by changing me. Thank God!

Anonymous Taken from, The NA Way Magazine: September 1993

Relapse Doesn’t Have to Mean Defeat

I came to my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting exactly ten years ago today. Since that time I have started my clean time over four times. I relapsed each time because I would set myself up by not talking about day-to-day problems. This would eventually cause enough stress and pain that I would either get injured or sick. Instead of dong what was suggested by other addicts, like letting someone else know I was taking a mood altering drug, I would get secretive and think I could control it. I realize today that I never fully surrendered and took a First Step. You would think after the second or third time I would figure out what I was doing wasn’t working, but no, I would raise my hand in a meeting and be harder on myself than anyone else could ever be.

My new clean date is October 15, 1990, and this time I am doing something different. It was pointed out to me that my way was not working and maybe I should try someone else’s way. I am in a “relapse prevention” program for a month and I am so grateful for the support of the friends I have made in the last ten years. Also, to my Higher Power, for giving me the willingness to take the First Step and surrender to this disease of addiction.

The most important things for me to do today are to share openly and honestly with my sponsor and the fellowship, and put my trust in God and remember I have a choice. I must remember not to “play God” and think I know what is best for me.

Today I can begin to break the cycle of relapse by following the spiritual principals of honesty, open- mindedness, and willingness. The shame is not in relapsing, it is in relapsing and not coming back.

4 Narcotics Anonymous is my family and I have other addicts in my life that love no matter want. Thank you family, for not allowing me to buy into defeat and to “keep coming back.” P.E. California

Taken from The NA Way Magazine: January 1991

Tradition One

Across Down 3. the act of committing, pledging, or 1. the state or quality of being anonymous engaging oneself 2. the act of taking or receiving something 6. to give (oneself) up to some influence, offered course, emotion, etc 4. of or pertaining to the treating 8. an act or instance of working or acting 5. a whole or totality as combining all its parts together for a common purpose into one 10. To rely, especially for support or 6. of, pertaining to, or consisting of spirit maintenance 7. the basis or groundwork of anything 11. relating to, directed to, or intended for a 8. the act or process of communicating particular person 9. an accepted or professed rule of action or 12. adapted or designed for actual use conduct 13. joint; united: a common defense 15. the regaining of or possibility of regaining 14. a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or something lost or taken away practices 17. to be divided and distributed in shares 16. the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others 18. the worth of something 19. the good fortune, health, happiness, prosperity, etc., of a person, group

5 Tradition One

H R Y C M T J T S X R R K W H N U K E W X K J P C Z G D C T U S P Y Z Q V H Y D B Y H J K W K W M K Y F W N C M I B T V N C O O P E R A T I O N R U S R O E A J R R J D Y L T C E R N F H G S I K Q E N C U X M I V A R T T F V B G L Z P I B K I V L J L V N S T B K R N V E Q S H B B I R H G S R P Y C M I D U D U O A V Z Y R E T L D T O B U S I V U R B Z A V I S C I T U E P A R E H T D U F C P J T R G L T E K S B G X Y R E V O C E R P T N E K J M J A G I D I N C L O R R U E O Y F D J I V B Z D C F Q N O O G A S B I F R R T L E R O R J Y E I E Q E N I N C S A V A A X Q Q H T L J P L U N I A P D T L I E S M C F N E L Q H F L D K L U W W E Q I C T N L H C L G E G P X P W H U A M S W D Z D P C S E P E E K G Z A P J Y D T V M Y R P R A E A S P I P W Q N Z D I O U O Y Z O I A W C R R R E C O T K K K O Y A Z L N R L C E W C F T S P L P Q A E J M D D D M M O I U M A S C F A O X F W X N H Y M C O M M O N Q T T N X L H X N V L B D C L M W W U P T Z B V Z Y I R Q M F A M E X S E J S M C T N E M T I M M O C Q C U L N S A N O N Y M I T Y E Q H H Y D D L E T B P Z V J S W Y R F E Q D W X T S H A R E D A I S E P B Z S D N U K S R E D N E R R U S T F M N

Common Welfare Personal Recovery

Depends Unity Principles Tradition

Cooperation Shared Commitment Therapeutic

Value Communication Surrender Acceptance

Selflessness Anonymity Spiritual Foundation

Practical