Dating Game Skit

Dating Game Skit (Skit to loosen up members & guests)

Skit characters:  Emcee/Host  Bachelor #1, aka The Rock  Bachelor #2, aka Dr. Victor von Frankenstein  Bachelor #3, aka M.K. Gandhi  Barbie DahI - dating game contestant

Host: Good evening, ladies & gentlemen. Welcome to the Celebrity Dating Game where we match up prospective single men or women contestants with famous or notorious characters from history or works of fiction. Let’s introduce our celebrities. Bachelor #1 has been a high school football all-American, a star defensive lineman for the University of Miami, and graduated with a degree in Criminology. After school his desire to be in the Secret Service were replaced by his greater desire to follow in the footsteps of his father & grandfather. A giant of the sports- entertainment field, idol of millions of children, we give you, Dwayne Johnson, better known as --- THE ROCK! (applauses and screams & noises led boys & girls. The Rock hams it up in his usual professional wrestler way, loud music and he stands on his chair doing that smelling thing and maybe spitting through his teeth at the audience - if parent allows) Host: Next we have that madcap genius. That almost lovable villain from Austin Powers movies. You all know him from our last episode as Dr. Not-Evil, or formerly Doctor Evil. But. But! But! But due to a bizarre accident with a blender, a surge of cosmic gamma rays and an emperor penguin while on the Ricky Lake Show, Dr. Not Evil has somehow been transformed into a character from the great late 19th century fiction novel written by Mary Shelley. In this new incarnation of bombastic lunacy, he is the eldest son of a distinguished family of Geneva, Switzerland. As a child, he was a person of violent temper, vehement passions and an unquenching thirst for knowledge. His love for poetry would be replaced by an obsession for learning (quote) “the secrets of heaven & earth” (unquote) Newly arrived from Transylvania, we give to you the famous Dr. Victor von Frankenstein!! (boys & girls in audience leading the applause, screaming “Where’s the monster?!!”) Host: 0-K. Well, ladies & gentlemen. Fictional characters aside, we have a special treat for you. He was an average and shy kid who once ran from school to avoid talking and making friends. He experimented smoking by taking the leftover cigar from his uncle’s discarded smokes and rolling them together to make a home-made cigarette. Later, he experimented with eating meat when a muslim friend of his convinced him that doing so would make him big & strong like the British. He would grow up to become a champion of human rights and continues to inspire the world over with his teachings of non-violence. A real man of self-reliance and high ideals. Ladies - he can cook, spin his own cloth, make salt and power-walks for hundreds of miles. We give you — Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi!! (boys & girls leading cheers and noises again) Host: Our contestant today comes from Lake County, IL, a resident of the village of Gurnee. She is a busy fashion super model and usually little time for social activities. But when she finds time - she likes hockey, baseball, skiing, rides through the countryside and entertaining friends. She considers herself versatile at home or outdoors. She would like to meet a self-made man, reflective, philosophical and sensitive. A potential partner with a passion for truth and knowledge, well-rounded, and a love for family. Let’s meet Barbie DahI. Barbie: Hi everyone. Hello bachelors! Bachelors: Hiya Barb! (Rock) I am truly #1!!! Guten naben, fraulein Barbara (Frankenstein). I am #2. That makes me three, then. Good evening Miss Dahi (Gandhi) Barbie: Whoa, a real international gathering. Host: That’s right Ms. Dahi. You know the rules. You may commence asking the bachelors your questions. At the end of your questioning, you and your dream date together will be flown to an exotic, fabulously lavish location paid for by our show sponsors. Bachelors, on your toes. Barbie: All right, bachelor #1 - what is your main reason for dating? Is it for (a) marriage, (b) fun, (c) something to do because you may be bored? and tell me briefly why. Bach. #1: Fun? Marriage? I think fun first cuz if we don’t have fun doing things together, marriage would not be that interesting. Life’s a game and the game has to be fun or it wouldn’t be a game. Barbie: Bachelor #2, same question. Bach. #2: In life there has to be a spark, an all-encompassing attraction that with passion and will unifies blood, bone and body. What I bring to the slab, er I mean, the table would be a mix of scientific inquiry and curiosity. Will you have a brain? Is your body truly healthy? Do you like the Cubs or the White Sox? Life is a mystery and I seek to root its penultimate secrets. The short answer is I’m looking for a woman with a good head on her shoulders. Perhaps it’s marriage. It is my secret hope that it would be you. Barbie: ah, thank you 2. Number 3? Bach. #3: I never dated. Definitely this would be for fun and a learning experience for me. In the last century I was married. We were both thirteen. It was from my wife that I learned my first lesson in non-violence. I told her not to leave the house without my permission. It was something I read in some manuals I bought about marriag. My wife didn’t say anything. Not long after, when I found out that she had been breaking my rule, I confronted her angrily - “How dare you disobey my order&” Calmly and quietly, she told me: “Who is senior in this house? Are you superior to your mother? Should I tell her that I will not go out with her until you give me permission? If that is what you want, let me know.” She was force of her own. We were married for 62 years. Barbie: Certainly you seem to have the edge of experience in relationships, #3. Thank you. From what little I’ve been told by the contest officials, you all seem to be prominent in your respective field. I do consider myself successful and quite happy in what I do. Not to be modest, I do have the looks down as everyone tells me. So aside from that, what else are you looking for? Do you consider yourself a self-made man and happy with what you do, #2? Bach. #2: Looks? Well, don’t get strung out by the way I look. Don’t judge a book by its cover. I may not be much of a man, by the light of day. But by night I’m one heckuva -. Bach. #1: You go, doc! Oops. Excuse me. Barbie: A doctor, huh? Bach. #2: Just a title, madam. Honorific at its best. Yet for my talents & abilities, I am chastised in that I may have been regrettably misled by my passions. Self-made man? I have made a man, madam. Or reanimated a man. I consider myself a pioneer in my field. Things would have been different if I had not turned away from my father’s door... Ann./Host: Sorry, #2 but for your 19th century penchant for long-windedness... well, the show has to move along. Bach. #2: (going back into character as Dr. Evil) What? We’ve got shows like Jerry Springer and a guy can’t emote about the fricking skeletons in his closet on network TV? Gimme a break. To answer the question, science, madam. First and foremost I have always looked for. The exploration of knowledge and sacrifices I make.. Host: Number 1, have a go at Ms. DahI’s questions. Bach. #1: Ms. DahI, I am the show. I am the pinnacle of my profession. I have done what my dad did like his daddy before. I have gone further. Climbed higher. Flown further. I spit lightning, fart thunder! I have never regretted. I love my job. Looks? I got oodles of looks. I can truly rock your world! What else am I looking for? The mountain of love that we can climb together. And feel the sun and smell the vista of life beyond. (smell thing and standing on the chair) Barbie: Ok, Ok. Well. Number 3? Bach. #3: I am a simple man. The rest of the world may have gone too fast and too high since I haven’t been around. In this millenium I would imagine that friendship, trust and love is still essential between two people and for anyone. I would loOk for that always. Tell me about yourself. I will listen with fierce determination. We will tell each other many stories and make some up. I don’t consider myself a self-made man. Many people in my life have made me who I am and I don’t claim most of the credit for who I am today. Put in another way, I claim no perfection for myself. But I do claim to be a passionate seeker after Truth.. Barbi: Thank you #3. Now for my final question, bachelors. Host: I’m sorry. We’re almost out of time. Ms. Dahi, we’d like you to now think about your choice to bring with you to the the Cayman Islands Hilton for 4 nights 5 days, all-expenses paid trip and you can take along with you this huge assortment of complementary free luggage set from Samsonite. Have you made your choise already, Ms. Dahi? Barbi: Yes. Bachelor #1, you sound like you’re a really groovy kind of guy if not a little bit much for anyone to take. Maybe if I knew the real you if we had time. Maybe next time. #2, I don’t know. I would feel like a science experiment when it all comes down to it and it sounds like you still have issues to work on. # 3 — well I’m not normally into dating foreign guys (sorry, #2) but I think I’ll make an exception. Frankly I’m a little scared and intimidated that I don’t know if I’ll even measure up. But I think it will turn out alright after all. I’m looking forward to this.

Host: Airight, bachelors # 1 & #2, please come forward. Number #1 is a World Wrestling Federation champion known as the ROCK. Next, #2 is Dr. Victor von Frankenstein, mad scientist well, actually he really is the infamous Dr. Not-Evil who’s a little off his cheese right now. And here is your dream celebrity date. He is the champion of human rights, a giant of the 20th century and still inspires millions of people the world over for his cause of justice and non-violent teachings. Mohandas K. Gandhi, meet Ms. Barbi DahI. That’s all for this evening. In our next show, we will have the Reverend Doctor Sin, Blackbeard the Pirate and Barry Manilow for our guest celebrity dates. Thank you and goodnight.