24 JANUARY 2021 The Observer Magazine

Fast forward into

We’ve all had our fi ll of this winter, so we’re moving on. From fragrant dishes to colourful fashion, here’s how to brighten things up

24 JANUARY 2021 The Observer Magazine

38 In thishis issuee

Up front 5 Eva Wiseman Stop andand givegive yourself a good clap. Plus, the ObserverObs archive 6 This much I know Tommy Hilfi ger Features 8 Season to be cheerful Spring is coming! To celebrate, we’ve put together a guide to the very best of the new season 16 Talking dirty How British comic London Hughes is setting America alight 20 One man and his dog Our hounds say more about us than we might imagine 25 In the line of fi re Lissie Harper on her campaign for justice after the tragic death of her husband, PC Andrew Harper Food & drink 28 Nigel Slater The mellow delights of cooking with pomegranate molasses 32 Jay Rayner A new series on favourite cookbooks starts with a classic 28 20 Fashion 37 Notebook The easy-wear jumper dress 38 The edit Our pick of stylish scarves 39 Beauty 39 Dare to bare Maximising the minimal makeup look. Plus, home hair care tips Interiors 40 Going Dutch Renovating a grand riverside house unearths a secret history Gardens 43 Growing up fast The joys of harvesting baby leaves. Plus, early fl owering bulbs Self & wellbeing 44 Unbearable truths How we perceive pain – and lessoning its impact Dear Mariella 46 The dilemma “I can’t stand the thought 10 40 of having children.” Plus, Sunday with former deputy Labour leader Tom Watson

Simon Garfi eld is Deputy editor of the Observer, Th e Observer Contributors Magazine, the author of the Lucy Rock was formerly news Kings Place, bestsellers Mauve, Just editor of the paper, after which 90 York Way, London N1 9GU Lisa Sheehan is an illustrator My Type and On Th e she spent three years in the (020 3353 2000) and children’s book author. Her Map. He is also editor of United States writing high- magazine@ work is often typographical – several books of diaries , profi le interviews, features and observer.co.uk Printed at with a pop of colour. She loves including Our Hidden news and comment pieces. Th is YM Chantry, to create bright pieceses Lives and A Notable Woman. week, she interviews 41 Wakefi eld Business Park, with detailed delicatete His study of Aids in Britain, Lissie Harper, who Brindley Way, forms as well as Th e End of Innocence, won the is campaigning for a Wakefi eld mixing 2D and 3D. Somerset Maugham Prize. Here, change in the law after WF2 0XQ Th is week, shee created he writes about our unbreakable her policeman husband,

the vibrant covercover for bobondnd wwith dogs, the subject of PC Andrew Harper, was Cover image our spring featurefeature (p8).((p8p )). hihiss latelatestst bbooko (p20). killed in 2019 (p25). Lisa Sheehan

The Observer Magazine 24.01.211 211 3

Up front Eva Wiseman Clap, clap, clap… It’s not only heroes who deserve applause

 @evawiseman

lap for carers, clap for heroes. Clap for face masks from the bush. Clap for the person telling you teachers, clap for bin collectors, clap for their anxiety dream, even though it exposes far too much postmen, clap for chemists, clap for shelf truth for this time of day. Clap for oven chips, edible even stackers, clap for police. Clap for neighbours when forgotten overnight. Clap for to-do lists, for their dropping off medicine for former enemies, glittering potential. Clap for the promise of snow. Cleaving the bag only slightly in the rain. Clap for Clap for the boy responding correctly to his friend’s freelancers working eight days a week to prevent sudden grief. Clap for meal-planning, and a pasta sauce their old routines of pornography and fretting being eked out over a fortnight. Clap for the girl who has exposed by a fl atmate. Clap for the woman trudging extended her cleansing routine so masterfully that she out into the world on a daily walk where every footstep is now able to stifl e her panic for upwards of three hours is another curse uttered. Clap for the couple crossing a day. Clap for the nephew in the chat group who unpicks “Introduce yourselves, I can the road, veering away from oncomers as if absolutely all his aunties’ forwarded hoax messages without once smell something burning,” pissed at breakfast time. taking a patronising or exasperated tone. Clap for that From the and dash.’ Clap for the snack makers, busy every 45 minutes very large tree in the park that has surely seen worse Whitehorn’s list of the with new ideas for crumpets and the end of the cheese. than this. Clap for the ex who elegantly dismisses a archive dullest subjects in the world Clap for the dishwashers, initially excited by all the drunk midnight text. Clap for unlimited data. Clap for A look back (and ones that should be attention received – the detritus from three meals a the beds that transition at daybreak into offi ces, and the ‘strictly rationed to two day at fi rst an exciting challenge (“A plate stained with kitchens to schools. Clap for the cat, unimpressed by it at the Observer sentences on each’) still Nutella and sriracha? By God, I’ll give it a go!”), now an all. Clap for weather, something else to talk about. Clap Magazine’s past seems spot on: ‘Cars, insult, every rinse cycle a slow crawl towards electric for the bit of thumbnail that valiantly held on, despite children, taxes, any sport, morbidity. Clap for the man in the fl at over the road being worried by its sister hand almost constantly for 11 my pet, why my life is so who does Yoga with Adriene every morning at 10, then whole months. Clap for the teaching assistant on Zoom much more awful than spends the rest of the day playing Fifa in a towelling- doing all the voices at reading time, and the recorded Th e Observer Magazine anyone else’s’. robed rage. Clap for the houseplants that have refused assembly explaining Brexit with binbags. cover story of 12 May 1968 ‘We fall over ourselves,’ to die, despite the new experimental watering regime. Clap and clap, your twice-washed hands slapping dryly by Katharine Whitehorn, she argued, ‘trying to be Clap for the scented candle, infusing the house with the against each other with the force and intensity of a baby who died earlier this month cleaner, smoother, better memory of grapefruit in order to cover the stench of that’s seen ice-cream. Clap until they chafe, then continue aged 92, was typically dressed, better read, richer fi ve people’s fears. clapping and, when the blood threatens to come, clap forthright, witty and wise and more suitably brought Clap for the footballers doing more in their free time louder still. Clap until you can feel your knuckles, clap (‘Social bloomers and how up than the next person, and for hungry children than politicians for whom it’s their until it feels you will clap your hands down to the wrist. to get out of them’). the exact opposite is what actual jobs. Clap for the parents making half a tomato Clap, to show your respect, to show you’re alive, to Billed as ‘the guide endears us to other people.’ and a coin bag of grated cheese last a week. Clap for show you are a witness to these many small glories. For you actually need to the If you’re wondering about the strangers feeding those who can’t afford to feed something to do, and wordlessly say, and it slightly hurts, present-day comedy that cover picture and what themselves. Clap for coffee, clap for aspirin, clap for but somebody hears you, not waving but clapping. ■ of manners’, Whitehorn to do if your pants fall down Calpol, clap for gin. Clap for pictures of other people’s opened with some of her (did that used to be a thing?), houses on Instagram, built in hot countries in the 70s just as radical today as it own social solecisms with here is Whitehorn’s solution: out of wood and concrete and fi lled with small, exquisite was in the 1960s. comic candour: ‘I speak as ‘Grip your arms to your sides things one can zoom in on in the night. Clap for the One more one who fi rst went into and make for the Ladies. If nights, which mark another day completed. Clap for small Has there ever been a show a smart hairdresser and they actually descend, it things done well, like a pencil beautifully sharpened, or thing… that makes you think, ‘Yes, knelt at the backwash.’ depends where you are… if a slice of toast unburned. Clap for an untantrummed I’d like to go for a drink ‘Time was when you were concealment is hopeless, hour of homeschooling, for a book not thrown. Clap for with this person’, more supposed to know what to look down and say: “You the person who hasn’t left the house for months, their than Scorcese’s Netfl ix do,’ wrote Whitehorn. ‘Now can’t rely on anything these bedroom a running track, their window a mirror, their documentary series about things are diff erent. Not days,” and calmly pick phone a window. Clap for the Tweeter who has chosen Fran Lebowitz? Like many because there are not social them up.’ Now that is some not to share a video warning about microchips in the of her vinegar-fl avoured distinctions, but because serious sangfroid. Chris Hall vaccine. Clap for the dogs, fried with attention. Penguin Modern Classics bon mots, I enjoyed her there are far more of them… Clap for the teenager who last summer missed their is publishing Donald thoughts on the person the essential diff erence is fi rst kiss, with tongues and hands in the shade of Woods Winnicott ’s Th e who said they couldn’t make that it is now all right to ask.’ a tree. Clap for the teenager’s mother, forced to share Child, the Family and the a cake for a gay couple, So… how to get rid of a sofa with their hormones. Clap for the moments Outside World to mark the ‘because the cake was their people at parties – ‘Empty of connection so rare and gorgeous they sparkle like 50th anniversary of the art’: ‘Aside from the political all the ashtrays in a pointed a sequin in mud. Clap for the time passed, all the hours psychoanalyst’s death. Th is aspect of that, which is manner; stay standing.’ we haven’t died, all the weeks and all the months, clap is the person who came reprehensible… I have news (Much easier now to aff ect for another virtually pain-free minute, and again, and up with the concept of the for you, Mr Baker. If you can a dodgy wifi connection on again. Clap for the couple that found love in lockdown, ‘good enough mother’ (as eat it, it’s not art. OK? If you Zoom.) And what if you’ve and clap for the disgusting habits they each continue to opposed to the ‘perfect’ can say: ‘I’ll have that, and forgotten your guests’ hide from each other in dark corners of their one-bed parent), an idea that, it’s a cup of coff ee, that’s not

PHOTO DUFFY/DUFFY ARCHIVE DUFFY/DUFFY PHOTO names? ‘You can say: fl at. Clap for the lady with the litter-picker, removing shocking to realise, feels art! Th at’s a snack!’

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 5 Up front

This much I know Tommy Hilfi ger, designer, 69

Interview ALICE FISHER I still love the rock I grew up listening It’s an ego goader that we don’t get I regret not being around so much Photograph JOSHUA SCOTT to, but now I also love hip-hop and credit for bringing streetwear to the when my children were young. I was so all sorts of other music as well. I’ve catwalk. It’s fun to see brands from Gucci busy with the business. I really try to be always enjoyed concerts and paying to Dior and Givenchy doing streetwear, a good dad, though, and I’d like to I’m glad I started work at 18. It was attention to the way musicians put but I think their founders would be be remembered as a generous person a lot more fun than going to school. When themselves together. appalled if they were alive today. who was great with his family. I opened my fi rst shop it was a hangout for all my friends – a community before Voyeurism can be fun as a pastime. I was starstruck when I fi rst met I’m an eternal optimist. It helps social media. I didn’t worry about the I follow instagram, because I’m a visual David Bowie – it was David Bowie! He in life – 100%. I fi nd myself trying to business side until I faced bankruptcy, fi ve person. I get caught up on it for hours. was very intellectual and way ahead change pessimists’ minds, but they’re years later. That taught me a big lesson. People live very interesting lives. of his time in terms of the digital world . pessimists: they enjoy thinking that way.

I really enjoy being a designer. It’s I am one of nine siblings, so I can deal It’s important to treat others as a big creative outlet and it’s exciting to with chaos. I’m a multitasker and I can I sometimes you’d like to be treated. It’s a lesson I’ve grow a brand and be in the eye of the have a conversation with more than one taught my children, especially if you have storm of pop culture. person at a time. forget that Tommy a famous name. It’s not pleasant to see privileged people who aren’t humble. People who wear uncomfortable Back in 1988 we were criticised Hilfi ger is my clothes have always been uncomfortable for logos that were too large, and I sometimes forget that Tommy to be around. We’re living in a different for oversized clothes. But that came name. I’m so used Hilfi ger is my name. I’m so used to world from a year ago [before lockdown] from embracing what my consumers to seeing it on seeing it on sweatshirts. ■ and there’s no reason now not to choose wanted. The kids on the street were my clothes that you’re comfortable in. inspiration – and they still are today. sweatshirts global.tommy.com

6 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine

Buzz off,

winterWe’ve all had enough of these long, dark days, thank you. Yes, we know it’s premature, but we’re jumping forward into spring. From chocolate bunnies to zesty cocktails, we’re ready for the new season…

Introduction EMMA BEDDINGTON

8 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine on an egg on a blustery New Zealand cliff and hatching is imminent. I have just Googled “albatross chick” and, holy fl uffballs, Batman, we are in for a treat. For fur rather than feathers, go to YouTube and look up “Romanian love winter. Frosty mornings and animal cam” for a fairytale Transylvanian dark days hold no fear for me, forest populated by bears, boars, deer while summer means prickly and even wolves. Let’s get heat and freeform anxiety, chafed Farmers online are also good for thighs and bad fashion. But this getting a sense of the reassuring rhythms back Iwinter has been… well. You know, you of the natural world: 80% of my social were there, we all were. We still are , it has media is shepherds and my life is better lasted fi ve decades already. With little to for it. On Instagram, I especially enjoy to nature do and no scope for planning ahead, the @herdyshepherd1 and his award- Birds, lambs and green 4pm sunset sends my mood into freefall. winning Herdwick sheep and beautiful Mornings are equally bad: the duvet photography; @theswissshepherdess shoots to fi ll you with hope. feels like a buffalo has died on my chest for absurdly wholesome and optimistic By Emma Beddington and getting out from under it requires sunny Swiss mountains, baby an act of will and strength that seems goats, lambs and giant dogs; and 1. If it’s colour you are craving, catch beyond me. Instead, I extend a listless @theoriginalshepherdess , a one-woman exotically plumaged birds fi ghting over arm for my phone and scroll until rising hill farmer in a beautiful corner of fruit in the rainforest on the Cornell Labs cortisol levels and the dog’s bladder the Yorkshire Dales. Panama Fruit Feeders cam (they even force me vertical. My diet is beige and have toucans dropping in sometimes). brown things on other beige and brown If you can get outside… things, and like those frogs that slow This sounds like nagging, apologies, but 2. Try a hydroponic growing system their metabolism to nothing in freezing if you can get out, aim for somewhere to combat Brexit shortages and grow temperatures, I am as inert as a stone. vaguely green and go in daylight. I walk your own leaves months before it would The days are getting longer and the in the morning, but a friend suggests the normally be possible in our climate. world is reawakening, but right now, hour before sunset: “It’s a way to max My son got a space-age Akarina one for it’s hard to see or believe. My sap is not out on daylight for yourself, and also Christmas (akarina.uk ) and is growing rising: it is thick, sluggish and quiescent, notice it’s getting longer.” I asked Emma lettuce and herbs in it (the glow from its like treacle. What we need is a sense Mitchell, author of The Wild Remedy – powerful light may mean the neighbours of continuity and renewal; the faith a diary of how the natural world helps her suspect he’s growing other things…) that the dark times are not stasis, but depression across the year – what to look preparation. For me, the answer is in the out for in parks and verges now. Hazel 3. Get involved in Lev Parikian’s Twitter natural world. Duh, you may say, more catkins are already “fully-formed lambs’ Birdsong Project . The author of Why Do fresh air and forest-bathing clichés. But tails”, she tells me, and “silky-kitten-fur” Birds Suddenly Disappear? (Unbound, understanding I am an animal reacting pussy willow is not far behind, its pollen £9.99; 18 February) has created a funny, to the inexorable roll of the seasons and feeding the earliest bees. “You might also evocative day-by-day guide with seeing that mirrored in other parts of start to see extremely early pre-spring recordings and it is the perfect way to nature truly makes the dark times easier fl owers: primroses (some strains are think yourself into spring. You don’t to bear. These are some natural remedies already in bud), sweet-scented violets, even need Twitter: it’s all on his website that work for me, both inside and out. snowdrops and aconites.” ( levparikian.com ). I have ditched podcasts It is also the perfect time of year to try on my morning walk in favour of trying While staying indoors… to tune your ear into birdsong. Robins to tell a blue tit from a sparrow. Given we are stuck at home most of the and wrens sing throughout winter, time at the moment, bringing the outside Mitchell says, but now you can hear other 4. Get bird feeders window-mounted in helps. I don’t want to sound like some birds join them as they stake out their (using plastic suction cups) work well unhinged Diana Vreeland character, nesting territories. “You start to get great if you don’t have outside space. My tiny demanding you fi ll your house with tits and in the last week I have heard, concrete yard started out with nothing armfuls of expensive fl owers, but colour tentatively, the fi rst blue tits. The choir but a huge pigeon and a rat; now, thanks and scent helps and a bowl of scented is slowly waking up.” In a few weeks, to my feeders, it attracts dunnocks, blue hyacinths or narcissi is pretty cheap there will be blackbirds, too: the loveliest tits, robins and blackbirds daily. I have from a garden centre or market. I have of songs for me, full of the promise of my eye on a burnished copper feeder signed up for a bargain “mini-bunch” balmier evenings and real spring. It’s from Sarah Raven, but absolutely no fl ower subscription from my local grower coming, I promise. Just hold on. spare branches to hang it from. Rather and the fi rst has just arrived: burnished than buying a feed mix, get the stuff that beech leaves, budding twigs, daffodils really brings all the birds to your yard: and tightly folded narcissi, gradually mealworms (Chubby Mealworms will unfurling in the warmth of the house . send them by post) and sunfl ower hearts. I could look at them all day. If fauna is more your thing, try wildlife 5. If you have room for chickens, webcams. I love nest cams ; the quiet I found mine the most rewarding and promise of a bird patiently incubating consistently cheering decision of my eggs feels calming and hopeful. It is stillstill life: they are funny, curious and, unlike too early for northern hemispheree nestsnests most pets, earn their keep. Currently and – give them another month – butbut Cornell Cornell unhappily henless, I satisfy my cravings

GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY IMAGES; GETTY Bird Labs is fi lming an albatrosstross sitting sitting admiring gardener and ornamental fowl fancier Arthur Parkinson ’s beautiful girls on Instagram; and watching the Hungry Hens coop YouTube cam .

6. Start following the #Lambing2021 hhashtag right now. Many UK farms have alalready started lambing and nothing raises the spirits like pictures of wobbly, knock-kneed lambs. ‹ The all-new, Golf 8 Estate More Golf Than Ever

The Golf 8 is a family adventure on wheels. More style, more space, more connected. What more could you ask for?

Official fuel consumption figures for the all-new Golf 8 Estate model range in mpg (litres/100km): Combined 45.6 (6.2)-61.4 (4.6). Combined CO₂ emissions 120-154 g/km. Figures shown are for comparability purposes; only compare fuel consumption and CO₂ figures with other vehicles tested to the same technical procedures. These figures may not reflect real life driving results, which will depend upon a number of factors including the accessories fitted (post-registration), variations in weather, driving styles and vehicle load. Data correct at 17/12/20. Figures quoted are for a range of configurations and are subject to change due to ongoing approvals/changes. Please consult your retailer for further information. Time to sip it better Give yourself a lift with a glamorous cocktail. By Richard Godwin

1. Arsenic and tonic Absinthe has a fearsome reputation, but olive oil, smoked paprika, honey, fresh its anise intrigue still cuts through even thyme, raisins, toasted nuts and seeds in tiny quantities, providing an extra Serve up and red chicory leaves. If you can get smack of refreshment in a basic G&T. hold of some good-looking curly kale, gin 40ml simply strip the rinsed leaves from the absinthe 10ml (or pastis) stalk and toss them with cider vinegar, lime 1 wedge some salt, tahini, yoghurt, honey and olive oil. tonic 100ml Add thin slices of apple and some toasted mint to garnish sunfl ower seeds for extra crunch. Fill a tall glass with ice, introduce the gin sunshine and absinthe, squeeze in the lime and 3. Make light and fragrant puddings drop in the husk, then top up with decent Delicious ways to give Forget the steamed sponges, bread tonic. Smack a sprig of mint to release its 1 puddings, crumbles and cobblers that are aroma and use that as a garnish. your meals a spring synonymous with the colder months of the year. Something more refreshing can 2. El presidente makeover. By Gill Meller clean the pal ate and invigorate the mind. This Cuban classic is a great warm- of River Cottage Elderfl ower sorbet is just such a thing. weather martini alternative. You can A decent cordial sharpened with lemon make your own grenadine by dissolving juice is all you need, and it’s easy to bring two parts golden caster sugar in one part together. Warm 100g of unrefi ned sugar pomegranate juice. Orange liqueur is In the dark depths of January all we really with the fi nely grated zest of 4 lemons traditional, but I think it’s better without. want is the promise of spring. It’s easy to and 100ml of water. When the sugar has light rum 50ml pick up some ingredients that remind us dissolved, remove the pan from the heat French (i e dry) vermouth 20ml of more optimistic times – asparagus and and stir in the juice from the lemons and grenadine 10ml strawberries are available all year – but about 300ml of elderfl ower cordial. Pass orange liqueur 10ml (optional) that’s not the only way. Here are a few the mixture through a sieve and chill orange zest to serve great ideas to brighten up our days. before churning. If you don’t have an ice- Stir everything over ice and strain into an 2 cream machine, freeze it in a container. ice-cold coupe. Garnish with an orange 1. Add zest to fi sh Root, Stem, Leaf, Flower by Gill Meller is zest twist, taking care to express the Some fi sh – like smaller white-fl eshed published by Quadrille at £27 ‹ oils over the drink, and then sip next to fi sh – are at their absolute best during a radiator, imagining you are far, far away. the winter and make a wonderful ceviche. Instead of cooking, boneless skinless 3. Spring green slices of fresh fi llet are transformed A fresh aperitif, relatively low on alcohol. through citrus juice. The acid in the juice Use elderfl ower cordial in place of liqueur has a similar effect to that of heat – it if you like – but use less, as it’s sweeter. appears to cook the fi sh, but not in the fi no sherry 45ml normal way. It’s a particularly lively, zesty elderfl ower liqueur 15ml way to serve fi sh; and one of my favourite green chartreuse 15ml approaches is also one of the simplest. Stir everything over ice and strain into Turn your prepared fi sh together with a cold cocktail glass. No garnish. very thin slices of fresh, raw rhubarb, 3 grated rhubarb pulp, diced red chilli, 4. Camomile lawn lemon juice, and a pinch of sugar and salt. Camomile is great for infusions: leave Leave to marinade for 20 minutes before two tea bags or (better) a handful of dried serving with lots of fresh coriander. fl owers in 100ml spirit for an hour or two, then strain and decant. Rye, bourbon and 2. Keep your vegetables raw gin all benefi t from this treatment. Winter vegetables don’t always need to camomile-infused blended scotch 50ml be boiled and buttered; in fact lots of our honey syrup 15ml (honey loosened with a more familiar seasonal staples can be little hot water) served raw – and, as we know, raw veg lemon juice 15ml is extremely good for us. Alongside lemon peel to garnish health benefi ts, keeping things raw can Shake everything hard over plenty offer exciting new textures and fl avours, of ice and then fi ne-strain into an ice- giving old favourites a new lease of cold cocktail glass. Express the oils life. Try thinly slicing caulifl ower fl orets from a length of lemon peel and use 4 and tumbling them with slivers of

RICHARD GODWIN; ALAMY; STOCKFOOD ALAMY; GODWIN; RICHARD that as a garnish. preserved lemon, chopped parsley,

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 The all-new, Golf 8 Estate More Golf Than Ever

Official fuel consumption figures for the all-new Golf 8 Estate model range in mpg (litres/100km): Combined 45.6 (6.2)-61.4 (4.6). Combined CO₂ emissions 120-154 g/km. Figures shown are for comparability purposes; only compare fuel consumption and CO₂ figures with other vehicles tested to the same technical procedures. These figures may not reflect real life driving results, which will depend upon a number of factors including the accessories fitted (post-registration), variations in weather, driving styles and vehicle load. Data correct at 17/12/20. Figures quoted are for a range of configurations and are subject to change due to ongoing approvals/changes. Please consult your retailer for further information. Don’t wait for Easter... Chocolate eggs are in the shops now – and April is a long way off. By Annalisa Barbieri 1

1. Lindt chocolate bunny When I was a child, the Lindt animals which appeared at Easter – kittens, bunnies (I think there was also a bear) – were my absolute favourite: hollow chocolate shapes in a box that seemed 1 almost unimaginably luxurious, and I thought they were the best chocolates Dress for in the world. You can still get them, but they’re not as readily available as the Lindt chocolate bunny, which is now my children’s (well, one of their) favourites. a bright £2.50 for 100g bunny, lindt.co.uk 2. Eponine Fine new season Chocolate box The large box of these contains 36 tie-dyed. Gabriela Hearst, chocolates of staggering beauty. You 2 Make like it’s spring Dior and Sportmax are alll into c ould also go smaller, but that’s only with bold prints and the hippy vibe. half the show. Take your pick from lovely buffed spheres to multi-faced a colourful wardrobe. 6. Nothing lends un air dee pops of orange. What point would all printemps like a silk square.re. BuyBuy these good looks be if the chocolates By Kate Finnigan a job lot of 10 on Etsy for aroundaround therein were substandard? 3 £20. Knot round your neckck and 2 Fortunately, they are amazing. 1. Spark joy on fl at days with bright slip inside your sweatshirtrt for From £17 per box, eponine.co.uk and bold feet. We love the pink-orange- aspringtime-in-Paris feel. SSilkilk maroon SL72 style from Adidas x Wales printed scarf, £65, hobbs.comom 3. Hotel Chocolat Pen Pals Bonner. £119.95, adidas.co.uk Not only are these super jolly, but 7. Yoga with Adriene is there’s (almost) something for everyonee 2. Outside may be distinctly lacking in not just for 1 January . Startrt here. Try a little chick, sheep and bunnyy fl orals, so bring the garden much closer your new fi tness regime in caramel, white or 40% milk, which with Wilhelmina Garcia’s single earrings, now and put energy into have just gone on sale to get Easter featuring cute fl owers and insects. From your chaturanga with colourfulourful going early. £10, hotelchocolat.com £50, matchesfashion.com activewear from new ethical marketplace Talia Collective. 4. Dormouse chocolate bar 3. Molly Goddard , Dormouse has some of the best Christopher John Rogers 8. Yes, you’re going for another walk, wrappers in the business. They are and Bethany Williams but make it a Kaia Gerber for SS21 designed by a local artist. It’s easy to (main picture, above) are Celine walk by donning a logo cap and be swayed by the beautiful, bright all celebrating bright ssunglassesunglasses beforebefore you headh out. wrappers rather than what’s inside, colours, clashing prints but fortunately the chocolates inside and vintage-inspired 9. Februar February’sy’s VVogueog tells us that won’t let you down, either. I’m hard styles in this season’s colourcolourfulful handhandbagsb are in. What pushed to pick a favourite, but Nu-Eccentric trend. ddoo youyou mean you’reyo not going the Kablon 56% or the Bread and Make like the art ananywhere?ywhere? This isi an investment Butter bar or Lachuà or… £6 per bar, college student you iinn optimism,optimism, people.pe Try By Far dormousechocolates.bigcartel.com always wanted to be. and WandlerWandle for bold and 4 bribrightght ststyles.y 5. Marks & Spencer 4. Counter grey skies Chicky Chocky Speckled Eggs by thinking pink. 10. FiFindn your favourite I love these. Every Easter I try to resist Chanel’s highwaisted cottcottagecorea dress them, but at around £1 a bag they are bubble gum trousers were frofrom last summer hard not to sling into your basket. The a highlight of the spring aandn pull it over size is perfect – these are fairly big for shows. T oo much? Try & yyour trackie mini eggs, which appeals to my greed. Other Stories’ oversized bbottoms à la But the pastel colours are so pretty. An 5 knit. £95, stories.com Gucci’s latest ideal combo of crunchy outer shell and campaign fi lm. sweet milk chocolate. £1.15 per bag, 5. Fast-forward to sunny, Yes, it really is 3 ‹ ALAMY; PAL HANSEN; SIPA/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; EMMANUEL MONSALVE EMMANUEL SIPA/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; HANSEN; PAL ALAMY; marksandspencer.com hazy days in something ththat easy.

4 The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 13 Spring 2

1 Drama and delight on the screen Stay clearclea of noir thrillers and murdermur mysteries. By SaraSarahh Hughes

Darling ItIt mimightght seemsee as though the fi lm and TV schedules arear dominated by dark, crime- inspiredinspired tales,tale but there’s plenty of lighter buds… stuffstuff to remremindi us spring isn’t too far off. 1.1. Wi Winterwatchnterwa returns to BBC Two and Vases and plates whilewhile the initialin focus is on the colder months,months, therethe are sure to be some new ready for fl oraorall shoots of hopeho towards the series end. inspirationinspiration ChrisChris PackhamPackh reports from the New Forest, Iolo WilliamsW is bird watching in WalesWales and GillianG Burke is in Cornw all.

2. BBCBBC OneOne’s’ adaptation of Nancy Mitford’sMitford’s TheTh Pursuit of Love should fulfi l our desire fforo all things escapist, with scenesscenes shotshot in Paris and Rome. 5

3 3. A pair of FredF Astaire movies – Easter ParadeParadee (1948)(1948 with Judy Garland and the wonderwonderfulf Funny Face (1957) with AudreyAudrey HepburnHepb and a scene-stealing Kay 1. Kata tall pink vase £48, ThompsonThompson – will put a bounce in even the grahamandgreen.co.uk most jaded ofo steps. On Amazon Prime. 2. Vintage rose fi ne bone china 20cm plate £32.99 4. On Sky, Armando Iannucci and Simon (set of 3), roykirkham.com Blackwell’s glorious take on David 3. Shaped glass vase £29, Copperfi eld features bucolic country barkerandstonehouse.co.uk scenes even as our hero is buffeted by fate while Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women is also available on the same service and offers similarly rosy delights to convince ourselves winter is fading.

5. Adam Buxton records his podcasts from his home in Norfolk, often while out 6 and about with his dog, Rosie. Along with the birdsong and ambience of spring, he 4. Kareena fl oral vase offers an uplifting mix of interviews and £56, anthropologie.com observations. Available on Apple 5. Dessert plate £37.49 Podcasts and the comedian’s website (set of 4), wayfair.co.uk ( adam-buxton. co.uk ) there are 145 6. Lucy Rutter yellow vase to choose from. The most recent with £30, toa.st 7. Gold leaf vase 7 writing partner Joe Cornish is a delight. 4 £29.99, zarahome.com

If TS Eliot thought April was the cruellest 2. Philip Larkin quipped that 4 . I have a penchant for the ‘The trees month, you have to wonder what he’d call “deprivation is to me what daffodils bittersweetness found in the likes of new an ice-cold January spent locked indoors are to Wordsworth”. But I’ve always Nobel laureate Louise Glück ’s Nostos, during a pandemic. For the rest of us, found it touching that even his usually in which she is transported back to her are coming spring is a time associated with hope and lugubrious self couldn’t help but be childhood experiences of spring – the renewal and it’s never too soon for some seduced by the optimism of spring’s smell of cut grass, the sound of tennis . into leaf’ life-affi rming vernal poetry. approach in his poem The Trees, which has my favourite opening lines: 5. But it’s Emily Dickinson who best Five poems that capturepture 1. What better place to start than William “The trees are coming into leaf / Like captures our collective yearning for Wordsworth ’s I Wandered Lonely as a something almost being said”. spring. Writing in her family home in the yearning we aallll feelfeel Cloud ? Everyone knows the opening Massachusetts, she speaks for all of us for the end of winter.winter. lines, but it’s the fi nal stanza, “For oft, 3. AE Housman ’s Loveliest of Trees, the living in lockdown with her wonderfully By Allie Esiri whenwh on my couch I lie / In vacant or Cherry Now , meanwhile, almost serves as imploring poem Dear March – Come in! ■ in ppensiveen mood / They fl ash upon that a lesson in mindfulness – don’t lament inwardinward eye”,e which most reminds us that time’s passing, instead focus on the Allie Esiri’s A Poem for Every Spring whenwhen we can’t readily wander through marvels found in the everyday – such as Day is published on 4 February. Buy it

nature,natu we can always wonder about it. a cherry tree “hung with bloom”. for £13.04 at guardianbookshop.com ALAMY

14 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Book with confidence

That holiday you’ve been longing for? Now’s the time to start making it happen. Sailing by ferry to France is the way to travel over. Save 15% on holidays Journey in comfort and confidence, enjoying the space on board, in France or Spain looking forward to discovering the freedom of exploring amazing destinations in the comfort of your own car. Free COVID-19 Cover And Brittany Ferries is also the way to stay with a brilliant range of self-catering accommodation from gites and cottages to campsites Personal space onboard in beautiful locations. Travel at your own pace Book now and save 15% on holidays with free amendments up to 30 days before travel and free Covid-19 cover too. brittanyferries.co.uk 0330 162 6220

New bookings only, terms and conditions apply - see website for full details. Book by 9 February 2021. ‘The happy side of sex’ Having battled to kickstart her comedy career in Britain, London Hughes is now raising pulses and laughs in LA with her taboo- busting, joyously fi lthy monologues. Here, she reveals where it all went right

Interview LOUIS WISE Photographs RYAN PFLUGER

or those who have been dozing on the sofa this winter, London Hughes’s Netfl ix standup special, To Catch a D*ck, will likely bring you out of your snooze. In her one-hour routine, the London-born comedian, actor, writer and TV presenter, 31, who has stormed Hollywood this year, recaps the story of her life so far : basically the quest for a good seeing-to. FTo Catch a D*ck was originally a show which Hughes took to the Edinburgh Fringe in 2019, where it got her nomi- nated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award . Its fi lm version was executive-produced by American super-comic Kevin Hart, and signals Hughes’s acceptance in Hollywood’s upper echelons. In fact, ever since she moved to LA before the pandemic hit, things have rapidly swung the comedi- an’s way after a decade of playing second fi ddle to her often white, often male peers, back in the UK – a situation she has a lot to say about. But we’ll come to that. Suffi ce it to say that with her own movie planned with the producers behind Girls Trip , a sitcom pilot and a hosting gig on chat show The Netfl ix Afterparty, Hughes has had a busy 2020. In fact, she says, from her home in LA, just days into 2021, she doesn’t have any goals for this new year, because the last one went so well. “Oh my days!” she exclaims, sitting in a well-lit corner of her home. She looks suspiciously demure in a graphic print top, but her raucous, warm tone is there from the off. I doubt she has an off-switch, just a helpful dimmer. “All my goals – even some I’d set 10 years ago – I achieved in 2020,” she explains. “So I didn’t actually have any resolutions for 2021. I’m like, hey – if I can do all this in ‹

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 17 Every 30 seconds, almost 1,000 items of clothing are thrown away1.

Fight back with Ecover Bio Laundry Liquid. It helps wash new life into old clothes2, as they’re best in use and out of landfill.

Extending the active life of our clothing by just 9 months can lower its carbon, water and waste impact by up to 30%3.

So let’s wash right. Wear more. And waste less.

1, 3Wrap Research, national estimates for household textiles in landfill, 2017. 2removes bobbling from cotton fibres after multiple washes. London Hughes

‹ a global pandemic? Then cool! This year… just more of far more opportunities. “What do you say when your par- the same!” Owing to Covid, the extent of her celebrations ents are like, ‘How come Jack Whitehall ’s on TV and you’re when To Catch a D*ck came out had to be hiring out the not? How come Katherine Ryan ’s on TV all the time and suite at the Beverly Wilshire where Beyonc é fi lmed her you’re not?’ You have to start thinking, is it me? And the 7/11 video. She invited a different girlfriend over each day craziest thing is, I was on TV just enough to know that it to eat steak sandwiches in bed. Beyoncé is someone she wasn’t me, if that makes sense.” has often namechecked as a barometer of success; another She is aware her worst critics “will probably say, ‘ Ah, pair she mentions today are the rappers Cardi B and Megan she’s got a chip on her shoulder… But you don’t under- Thee Stallion , who have similar form in being utterly, joy- stand: I’ve had my own TV show in Britain rejected eight ously fi lthy on-stage. “They’re just owning their sexuality times. Eight times I wrote a show, pitched it, it got to and taking control,” she beams. “That’s what I’m trying to a certain level and it got rejected – eight times. The last do with comedy.” straw was when I got Whoopi Goldberg to agree to do a TV show with me – and nobody wanted it.” In 2018, the Hughes was born – deep breath – London Dionne Micha Ghost star agreed to do a travelogue comedy show with Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes in Thornton Hughes . “She’s the biggest black female comedian in the Heath, south London, in 1989. That exceedingly long world, hands down – and nobody wanted it. That let me name – the result of everyone in her family, including her know I had no business trying to make a career for myself parents, two elder brothers and grandma each getting to in this country. It was a sad realisation.” choose a moniker – set her stall out from the start, since it Why is it so hard in Britain compared to America? “There is extravagant, eye-catching, and a bit of a mouthful. The are so many reasons. But the one I like best is that, basi- young Hughes seems to have settled on two things early: cally, America’s got so many black people in it that even that she wanted to enjoy her sexuality and she wanted to if you were a black person that never catered to a white be‹ a star. At least some of this seems to have been in the audience, you could still be a billionaire. Tyler Perry , for family tree, since in one of the opening salvoes of her show, instance: his movies are solely culturally black movies. So she describes both her grandmother and mother as “hoes”, one, there’s a lot more black people in America.” But sec- and this is very much a term of endearment. ‘On dates there are just these bland guys’: London Hughes ond, she says again, “there’s not enough foresight here “I feel that there should be no shame in a woman being to think black people can be things outside of the niche.” sexually free and talking about her sexual exploits,” she in any career, ever: she went from the soft-porn channel If there is one bittersweet side-effect of this, it’s that black says. “So that’s why it was so important to me that the show Babestation, then called Flirt UK, to CBeebies. She never British talent has to work so hard, “fi ghting for scraps”, is so happy and smiling, and that I get people cheering for did nudity herself on the former; she just larked about that by the time they get to America, “we’re so good, it’s the fact that I sucked dick for shoes.” Ah, yes – one of the and introduced saucy items. So – what do presenting at like: hey! you can’t ignore us.” standup’s key set pieces details how Hughes gamely got it Babestation and CBBC have in common? “ENERGY!” America seems to fi t her like a glove, not least in its ten- on with a foot-fetish guy mostly on the basis that he would We have great fun going over Hughes’s most promis- dency to encourage big-voiced, happy-go-lucky success buy her footwear. He did – 12 pairs – but when it ended cuous years in her early 20s. “I’ve kissed a long line of – in fact it’s striking how, in her TV special, Hughes points she had to give them all back. “That might be a dark story… famous men,” she laughs – starting with the fact that her out a fair few times that she is fi nancially independent. for another woman,” she chuckles. “There shouldn’t be any fi rst snog, at 16, was with Wiley , the godfather of grime, And yet – and sadly it’s not unconnected – her show is also shame in what I said – apart from the fact that I didn’t get backstage after a gig, “way before I found out about all under-pinned by her frustration at not being able to bag to keep the shoes ; that’s the shameful his anti-Jewish propaganda ”, she a proper life-partner. “In terms of getting sex, I always get part. And yes, there have been some grimaces. She’s done better since, sex,” she says . “But in terms of dating, I fi nd it very hard iconic women talking about sex, and anyway. In fact, the only time she to date. No one really excites me any more…” she tails off. doing sex from a woman’s perspec- ‘Women now is remotely coy in To Catch a D*ck “Like, I’m London Hughes! I’m a funny person… and all tive – you’ve got shows like Fleabag is when she refers to getting it these bland guys! You can meet a really good-looking guy, or I May Destroy You. But both of on with a British boxer who won and then he just opens his mouth and nothing comes out those shows focus on the dark side. own their Olympic gold in 2012. I mean, and it’s like my vagina just shrivels up.” I love those shows... But there’s also it’s Anthony Joshua , right? She “You can’t really date an unsuccessful man,” she says. another side – a happy side to sex and honks. “You know what? I haven’t “Being a successful woman, I would always date whoever women being free. And that’s what To sexuality. spoken to the person. So I don’t I wanted, then it turns out that the guys I date, they can’t Catch a D*ck is.” know if the person has seen the afford the same lifestyle I can afford and I end up paying When Hughes was little, all she show or how he feels about the for their lifestyle and it just gets a bit… ech! And that hap- knew is that she wanted to be a star, That’s what joke. But… I think he’s a great ath- pened a lot.” Her confi dence and her success have scared or, more specifi cally, “the funny black lete.” Mhmm. You think, or you a lot of men off, she says. “If I was an insecure, unsuccess- girl I never saw on TV, growing up”. know? “Hahaha!” ful shy girl, I’d be married!” And she isn’t sure that the She listened to classic old Radio 4 my comedy And yet the uplift has encoun- Netfl ix special is going to help. “My DMs already suggest comedies with her father, she adored tered a fair few downs. She was there are many guys out there who want to say they’ve slept telly sitcoms like One Foot in the Grave is all about’ bullied at primary school in with the To Catch a D*ck girl,” she laughs. “So I’ve actually and Keeping Up Appearances, “one of London, then at secondary school cock-blocked my own sex life.” my favourite comedy shows of all (the family moved to Brighton Hughes may be happy for the break anyway. For one time”, but one thing was already strikingly obvious – “not when she was 14), and later even at university, where some thing, she says she’d like her next Netfl ix special to be a single black person in that, throughout the whole thing! girls she lived with froze her out. She has described her called To Catch a Husband. And her fi lm project with the So I was like, clearly you need something different,” she childhood self as ungainly, awkward, ugly (“a female Jay- Girls Trip team is a romcom – but she qualifi es that. Yes, says. “Me! You need me!” So she set to work. Aged seven Z”) and admits she has had to work on her confi dence. “I she is a huge fan of romantic comedies, but this wouldn’t she told her mother she wouldn’t have kids until she got a used to be really insecure,” she nods. “I had the confi dence be another one where the girl is saved by the guy. “I want star on the Walk of Fame. At 12, she asked her how exactly in me, but I didn’t know how to unlock it.” to do current romcoms that reveal my life as a black British she was going to help her with her career. “ Mum, Britney All of which leads us to the vexed issue of why Hughes woman, and bring them to the mainstream.” In fact she Spears made it on to the Mickey Mouse Club at 11, and I’m ended up having to leave Britain. She tried standup when has several scripts on the go, “and they all have that simi- 12. I’m past it, ” she says. “ So what you gonna do about my she was 19 and found she had a talent for it; in fact, she lar message where women don’t need a man. But hey, we career in America?” Depressingly perhaps, she already had won the 2009 Funny Award at London’s Comedy Store, at could want one from time to time…” an inkling that she might do better over there. 20. And yet the following decade was marked by the sound Another thing though, she announces blithely, is that She did, however, give Britain a good go fi rst. For start- of grinding gears. “The problem was, and still is, that no “My ’nani needs a break anyway, because she was active.” ers she auditioned four times in a row for Big Brother as one had the foresight to see that the audience might want Between 2017, when her last relationship ended, and the a teenager. The fi nal time she got selected, but pulled out something different,” she sighs. “I was seen as something beginning of 2020, Hughes had quite the time. “Baby Girl when it meant she would have to repeat her entire fi rst so different, and such a risk. Because I’m a woman, because was living her best life! So I feel like she needed to calm year of university at Kingston, where she had gone to do I’m black. Genuinely, I think if I had the same level of down. Just a reset.” Like a vagina spa? “Yeah,” she smiles. some nominal studying. However, a producer on the show talent, but I just happened to be a white man, I would have “My vagina has gone to rehab! She’s reevaluating her life, advised her that if she wanted to be a TV presenter anyway, been Michael McIntyre!” and what she’s been through and how she wants to move she should ignore BB and just go ahead and do it. This led To be clear, she worked pretty solidly throughout the forward.” Judging by her trajectory so far though, don’t to Hughes’s fi rst and second presenting jobs, which when 2010s, but couldn’t help but be aware that the rest of her expect any part of Hughes to be resting for too long. ■

NETFLIX placed together surely represent the most surprising segue generation of comics that she came up with were getting To Catch a D*ck is on Netfl ix

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 19 Who’s a good boy? The bond between humans and

20 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine dogs has never been stronger. So what does a study of ‘man’s best friend’ say about us?

hy is he here? Why is my claims, that “The world exists through the understanding dog lying at my feet in of dogs,” then perhaps it is also partially true that a study the shape of a croissant of dogs may provide a valuable insight into ourselves. as I write this? How have Why is he here? Why is this man doing something that I come to cherish his warm involves a repeated tapping noise and the occasional lov- but lightly offensive pun- ing sigh? How many hot drinks can he make to interrupt gency? How has his fi sh this tapping? Why is his timekeeping so bad when it comes breath become a topic of to my luncheon? Why can’t this so-called memory-foam bed humour when friends call round for dinner? Why do I shell he bought me remember how I curled up so snugly last night? Wout more than £1,000 each year to pay for his insurance? Why do I feel so fortunate to know him? And why do I love him so much? Ludo is not a special dog. He’s just another labra- The anthropomorphism of dogs is not a new phenomenon. dor retriever, one of approximately 500,000 in the UK I have a photo on my desk of a black Labrador from the (he’d be one in a million in the United States, the most 19th century dressed as a lord in a suit and top hat (and popular breed in both countries). Ludo has a lot in common smoking a pipe). with all these dogs. He loves to play ball; obviously he’s an Talking dogs have been a mainstay of the movies almost expert retriever. He could eat all the food in the universe from the birth of talking movies. But the collusion of and leave nothing for the other dogs. He is prone to hip dog and human has never been so abundant, imagina- dysplasia. He looks particularly attractive on a plush bed in tive and unnerving as it is today. The nature of our bond a centrally heated house very far from the Newfoundland – our commitment to each other – appears to have deep- home of his ancestors. ened markedly in the past 50 years, not least because our But, of course, Ludo is a unique animal to me and the scientifi c understanding of the dog has been enabled by rest of his human family. He is now an elderly gentleman advances in genetics, and our sociological interpretation of aged 12 and a half, and we would do almost anything to a dog’s behaviour has led to more avenues for joint engage- ensure his continued happiness. We willingly get drenched ment. Like dancers emboldened by drink and tenacity, we as he tries to detect every smell on Hampstead Heath. We are entwined with our best friends in an ecstatic embrace. schedule our days around his needs – his mealtimes, his Such passion does not always end well, alas. Alongside walks, the delivery of his life-saving medication (he has my Victorian lord I have a photo of a dog in a fl at Kangol epilepsy, poor love). We spend a bizarrely large amount of cap and glasses who looks like Samuel L Jackson. On my our disposable income on him, and he never sends a card computer I have pictures of dogs reading, sailing and of thanks. When he’s not with us for a few days (when our riding bicycles. I know there is something morally wrong children take him for a weekend, say), then the house feels with these images, but I fi nd it hard to resist adding more extraordinarily empty. I feel so fortunate to know him. to the folder, given their wholly irresistible paws-to-the- Goodness knows how we’ll cope when he dies. fl oor adorableness. This strongest of bonds has manifested itself over the Every week I get an email from the American magazine, centuries, and transformed so many millions of lives, Bark, with the subject line “Smiling Dogs”. Each message human and canine. If it is at least partially true, as Nietzsche contains at least two pictures of beautiful grinning ‹

Words SIMON GARFIELD Photographs SARAH LEE

Feature

‹ hounds, most recently Baxter (“Baxter has a bubbly personality, loves food, lounging in the sun, hiking out- doors and cuddling”) and Chad (“This handsome boy might come across as a little aloof at fi rst, but that’s what makes him mysterious and charming!”) Appealing as these dogs are, they are not, of course, actually grinning. But the people at Bark know well that the photogenic often get a head start: most of the dogs in the emails are looking for new homes after a harsh beginning. The names we give our dogs are increasingly names we would give to our children. For every old Fido we have a new Florence, for every old Major we have a new Max. This was not the case 30 years ago. Today the new names are the names of human heroes. Nelson is still popular; soon we will see a lot of Gretas. You have a female dog called Taylor, you will have a male one called Swift. Lawyers like to call their dogs Shyster, and architects favour Zaha, and there are an awful lot of young Fleabags in the parks these days. Only in rap music does it work the other way: Snoop Dogg, Phife Dawg , Nate Dogg , Bow Wow . We increasingly use dogs to describe ourselves. A tough radio interviewer is a rottweiler, a soft one a poodle (or a puppy). Friendly, faithful characters in novels are cuddly labradors. Venal men in the city are pit bulls. A person who won’t let go fi ghts like a terrier, while a detec- tive pursues her prey like a bloodhound. You get the idea. You get the idea because you are as fl eet as a whippet and smart as a sheepdog. We have long used our canine friends to describe our actions and emotions. After working like a dog we are dog- tired. We get drunk as a skunk, but we drink the hair of the dog. Books containing doggerel get dog-eared. We root for the underdog, we bark up the wrong tree and then we’re in the doghouse. A depression is a black dog, and we’ll sport a hangdog countenance. A dog’s breakfast is followed by a dog’s dinner, but the dog ate my homework so I’ve gone to the dogs. These kinds of lists used to be the cat’s pyjamas, but now they’re the dog’s bollocks. And we have sex in a position so popular among dogs that they have offi cially trademarked the style.

In lockdown, Ludo is the only presence in our house not looking anxious. Instead, he is exhausted. It has already because I receive so much mail; that’s why he tries to bite ‘He remembers who has his environment and other become a cliché to observe that the pandemic has been the mailman.” This approach – only the social scientists paid particular attention dogs, but also of people: perversely kind to dogs: they are seldom home alone now, persistently call it anthropomorphism; dog lovers tend to him in the past and will he can judge who may be and they are walked almost more than they can bear. Their to regard it as entirely acceptable behaviour – is widely make sure to greet them frightened of dogs and keep companionship is a boost to mental health. Friends and frowned upon by most animal behaviourists as inhumane. with gladness in his heart’: away; he remembers who neighbours want to borrow them: if you have a dog, you But still we do it. In fact, we now do it with such convic- Simon with his dog, Ludo has paid particular atten- have a reason to be out. Rescue shelters report a surge in tion and sense of normality that not to treat our dogs to tion to him in the past and enquiries, and the cost of a pure-bred dog has tripled. And a diet involving turmeric may come to seem like neglect. will make sure to greet them with gladness in his heart and social media is awash with C ovid-19 dog videos and car- You cannot know a well-mannered dog for any length a special toy in his mouth; and he knows when his human toons: the sports commentator Andrew Cotter has made of time – more than, say, about an hour – and not won- companions are low and need comforting. I sometimes stars of his lovely labradors Olive and Mabel as they battle der a little about what he or she is thinking, what makes wonder whether we are treating him and his many friends for lockdown supremacy, and the outpouring of grief when him or her fearful or happy, and how the two of you may with a similar level of sagacity and respect. Monty Don announced the passing of his golden retriever have fun together. A dog resides superbly within what One of the many things that attracts us to a puppy – Nigel was comparable with the death of Princess Diana. the German biologist Jakob von Uexküll called its own beyond their all-round damn helpless cuteness – is their But a genuine concern has spawned the “dog is not just for self-centred world, or Umwelt. Or, as the primatologist inquisitiveness. Puppies like poking around in things, any Covid” headlines – many inexperienced buyers are fi nd- Frans de Waal put it in the title of his book, Are We Smart thing. This inquisitiveness matures, but it doesn’t depart: ing the challenges of ownership unexpectedly demanding. Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? If a dog cannot older dogs hear an irregular noise and they still want to Even if you have never owned a dog, and even if you have fully comprehend systems of time and money it is not investigate. Their investigative nature makes us dog-own- only watched Crufts on television, because they are unintelligent ; it is ers curious, too, acting at our most puppy-ish, we want to you will know that our relation- because these things are not sig- discover with increasingly forensic precision just what it ship with dogs is a rich, diverse, nifi cant components of their world. is that makes a dog a dog, and makes them such mutually perplexing and complicated one – as In lockdown, The average dog brain is about enriching companions.And we are strangers only to our- rich, diverse, perplexing and com- one-third the size of an aver- selves: as dog owners and dog lovers we are part of a huge plicated indeed as the relation ship age human brain. But the dog community, and the bond we have with our dog is some- we have with other humans. Dogs the dog is the nose has more than 200m smell- thing that binds us equally to millions of others ; a shared are increasingly not just part of the sensitive receptors, compared to 5 m humanity. As for Ludo, he is still best at being the thing he home but part of the family, the clos- in a human nose, and these suggest was 10,000 years ago, despite everything we have done to est connection we dare have with only being a quite different set of priorities. make him more like us. He is best at being a dog. He gets a species not our own. About a third of the dog’s brain very excited about the prospect of lunch, or any food really, In many ways dogs have become mass is devoted to olfactory duties, and he usually comes running when I call him, and we’re an extension of ourselves. Albert in our house compared to 5% in humans. always impossibly happy when we’re together. ■ Einstein once observed that I can’t help but notice how my Chico, his wire-haired fox terrier, not looking own dog, with his proud leathery This is an edited extract from Dog’s Best Friend: A Brief was possessed of both great intel- snout, views the world around him. History of an Unbreakable Bond by Simon Garfi eld. It is ligence and an ability to hold His exacting sense of smell makes published on 4 February by W&N , for £16.99. To buy a copy a grudge. “He feels sorry for me anxious him a very good judge not only of for £14.78, go to guardianbookshop.com

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 23

‘It isn’t what I wanted to be doing’ The dreadful killing of her police offi cer husband, Andrew, led Lissie Harper to propose a new law to protect emergency workers. She explains why she had to take action

Words LUCY ROCK Photographs SUKI DHANDA

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 25

t fi rst glance Lissie Harper’s After the Court of Appeal’s decision, artfully curated Instagram Patel reiterated her support, saying: page refl ects an idyllic life. “ Robert Buckland [the justice secretary] Photographs of her cuddling and I are working together to look at her cat and walking in the changes we can bring in law. We meadowsA sit alongside others featuring owe it to them [Andrew’s family] to give holidays abroad, her hen night and her them justice.” wedding to her childhood sweetheart, As soon as it’s possible, the campaign Andrew. Yet, the words accompanying team hopes to meet with lawyers and civil some of the posts reveal her true story, servants to thrash out the fi ner details, one of grief and loss which began 18 before publication of a fi nal draft. months ago when Andrew, a police “Writing a law is very complicated, offi cer, was killed in the line of duty. I’ve come to know,” Lissie laughs. “We Next to a picture of herself staring out want to get that spot on and then we can to sea, Lissie notes: “Grief is like living use all the support we’ve got, including two lives. One is where you pretend that the cross-party support, to do the more everything is all right, and the other is political side of things.” where your heart silently screams in Lobbying politicians, mugging up pain.” Accompanying a photo of her and on the legal system, appearing on TV Andrew kissing on their wedding day, and radio to publicise her mission… It’s posted on the anniversary of his funeral, a far cry from what she thought she’d be she’s written: “‘I miss you’ doesn’t even doing at 30. come close to the hollowness that has Happy days: childhood sweethearts Andrew and Lissie were married in the summer of 2019 She exhales loudly. “Yes! It’s a whole encapsulated me these past 14 months. different world, going into the House My life is missing its brightest spark.” at the length of the sentences given to the inside her when she explains how she tries of Commons and everything. At certain The future she had envisaged as young men who killed Andrew. not to think about her husband’s killers points I’ve thought it’s strange for me to they exchanged vows in a stone temple Following a trial at the Old Bailey, the because – and here her voice rises and be pushing this so much, but it has to be in the grounds of a Georgian manor trio were cleared of murder, but convicted quickens – “I will never understand them.” someone who’s really passionate about it house in front of family and friends in of manslaughter. The driver, Henry Long, She grew up in Oxfordshire with her and for whom it’s personal.” July 2019 was obliterated a month later 19, was jailed for 16 years, while his older sister, younger brother and parents, She’s buoyed by the 750,000 people when Andrew was called out to reports passengers, Albert Bowers and Jessie Cole, Simon, who owns a car restoration who’ve signed a petition calling for of a quad bike theft in Sulhamstead, both 18, were sentenced to 13 years each. company, and Julie, who works at a Harper’s Law, although she realises Berkshire. As he tried to stop three For Lissie, their punishment did not pet-rehoming centre, and began dating support for it is not universal. The teenagers, his feet became tangled in fi t the crime – a view also held by the classmate Andrew at secondary school. former deputy assistant commissioner a tow rope attached to the back of their popular press and the attorney general They enjoyed what she calls “a simple of the Metropolitan Police, Stephen getaway car and he was dragged along Suella Braverman, who referred the jail life” fi lled with country walks, socialising Roberts, has said it won’t act as country lanes for more than a mile, terms to the Court of Appeal to consider with friends and family, and watching a deterrent and that judges should suffering catastrophic, unsurvivable whether they were too lenient. But fi lms. Andrew – whom she describes as be able to exercise discretion. Others injuries. He was 28 years old. just before Christmas, the appeal was “upbeat, kind and always joking about” – believe victims should be treated equally, dismissed by the judges, who said they shared her love of travel and they took a emergency worker or not. On a biting cold January afternoon, career break in their mid-20s, visiting 14 Lissie rejects these points. “We’re not Lissie, is curled up on the sofa in her countries, including Sri Lanka, Bali and saying that a police offi cer deserves cosy 17th-century cottage in Oxfordshire Australia, over seven months. more, it’s not about that. It’s about giving explaining to me over Zoom how she’s On their return they bought their one- them a level of protection that they coped in the aftermath. She lets out ‘It’s strange bedroom cottage, enchanted by the wood- don’t have and also, potentially, it being a long sigh. “I had two choices: sit and burning stove and beamed ceilings (they some kind of deterrent. At the moment rock in the corner and fall apart or keep checked that Andrew, who stood at 6ft 5in there’s nothing, and there’s little respect. going.” Her support network is strong, for me to be to Lissie’s 5ft 3in, could clear them before Anything to make people want to carry on she says, comprising close family, lots they put in an offer). In 2017, on a trip to doing these dangerous jobs… I think it’s of friends and Andrew’s “amazing” pushing this Sorrento, Italy, Andrew proposed as they the least we can try and do. colleagues. While the lockdowns have walked along a cliff path at sunset. “We “If people lead a life of crime and see been tough because she can’t see people had a lot to look forward to,” Lissie says. their friends or family commit a crime, go or take trips to distract her, in other ways much. But to court and get a lenient sentence, that she welcomed a break from the intense The Court of Appeal’s decision will have some kind of effect in terms of, media interest that Andrew’s death and strengthened Lissie’s determination to ‘They did that, they got away with it.’” the subsequent court case of the three it has to be see Harper’s Law become a reality. In her Some lawyers point out that guilt teenagers attracted. view, the ruling “said it all – these are the in offences of manslaughter is wildly She excels at overthinking, she says. guidelines that judges are working from variable, ranging from the horrifi c Her solution? “Keeping busy.” personal’ and it’s not enough”. circumstances of Andrew’s death to the Lissie studied art at college and in her Lissie, who is working in conjunction throwing of a bottle into a crowd which late 20s, after jobs painting ceramics and with the Police Federation of England kills an emergency worker. designing wedding cakes, she started fell within sentencing guidelines. and Wales on the campaign, suggests that “That will be very fi nely written into a business, hand printing her work on It was another signifi cant blow for Harper’s Law might create a “separate the legal side of things,” Lissie says. to clothing and accessories. In recent Lissie. She had sat through the hearing, conviction” or “new offence” to murder “If something is an accident, then it will months, however, she’s pushed herself an ordeal heightened by the fact that at and manslaughter. She emphasises be dealt with by different legislation. out of her creative comfort zone and has the same time Long, Bowers and Cole that they are not seeking whole-life There’s got to be a level of culpability, become increasingly well-versed in the were asking the judge to reduce their sentences and have yet to decide what the a level of intent – somebody has to go law – because she’s intent on introducing manslaughter sentences (they failed). mandatory minimum term should be. out and commit a crime and sod what a new one. Harper’s Law, named after her Their faces were beamed into the She’s been working hard on building happens to anyone – that’s the key to husband, proposes a life sentence with panelled court room in London’s Royal cross-party support, meeting the home this sort of legislation.” a mandatory minimum term for anyone Courts of Justice via a live link from secretary Priti Patel, and the shadow When Lissie used to worry about the guilty of killing an emergency worker Belmarsh Prison. home secretary Nick Thomas-Symonds, dangers of Andrew’s job, she consoled (including police offi cers, fi refi ghters They appeared to Lissie to have no among others. herself by thinking that he was always “so and paramedics among others) while remorse. “It’s all a game to them, really. Lissie said: “We don’t want this to strong, capable and fearless”. Ultimately, committing a crime. They haven’t changed; they were sitting be some kind of political battle – that’s these attributes couldn’t save him. “That’s Lissie’s decision to campaign for there like nothing really matters.” Lissie not what it’s about. I’m quite positive why I’m pushing for Harper’s Law,” she Harper’s Law – which has its fair share of is softly spoken and measured as she about the support we’re getting from says, “to give protection to the people ■ MARK LORD critics – was born out of her frustration talks, but there’s a fl ash of the anger deep both sides.” who protect us.”

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 27 Food & drink Nigel Slater

 @NigelSlater

a grey January sky. Briefl y, it feels as if the sun was shining again. And heaven knows, we all need some of that. Roast pumpkin with peanuts and chillies You can use butternut squash for this, or a crown prince pumpkin or onion squash. The drier the pumpkin the longer it will take to roast to tenderness – the blue-skinned crown prince being a case in point. Slice those very hard squashes into thinner pieces before roasting. I sometimes fi nd it useful to turn the heat up to 220C/gas mark 7 after spreading the peanut paste on the squash, to get a nicely crunchy crust. Serves 4

pumpkin or squash 800g smoked garlic 5 large cloves olive oil 5 tbsp

For the dressing: peanuts 100g cherry tomatoes 150g parsley 20g red chilli 1 large pomegranate molasses 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp

Set the oven at 200C/gas mark 4. Halve the pumpkin, scoop out and discard the seeds and fi bres, then cut each half into thick slices. You can leave the skin on – I fi nd it holds the pieces together. Put them skin side down in a roasting tin, add the smoked garlic cloves, still in their skins, season with a little salt and pour The third shelf in the kitchen cupboard is of a crunchy peanut crust I am spreading over the olive oil. home to a collection of bottles and jars, on to roasted pumpkin. I have previously Bake the pumpkin for 30-40 minutes Sunshine on seasonings and syrups, preserves and used honey to balance the heat of the until soft to the point of a knife. condiments. Some – the Marmite and the chillies and pungency of the garlic, but Make the dressing: toast the peanuts in a plate with peanut butter – get what is pretty much this is better, having not only sweetness a dry pan over a moderate heat until the a daily outing. Others see the light of day but deep, fruity, almost wine-like notes, skins darken, shaking the pan regularly less often, but are no less essential in the too. Pomegranate molasses is just as well to encourage even browning. Tip the nuts squash, orange right recipe. Among the chilli vinegars suited to savoury dishes as sweet. I use into a clean tea towel and rub fi rmly until and mushroom ketchups, the smoke- it by the teaspoon, tasting as I go, except the skin fl akes off. Return the skinned and molasses scented salts and soy sauces, there is when I’m making a marinade for pork peanuts to the pan and let them cook over a bottle of dark, red-brown pomegranate ribs when I use it by the bottle, along a moderate heat, shaking regularly until molasses. This is the syrup I turn to with honey or the darker, slightly more they are golden and fragrant. Remove when I want to introduce a subtle, monotone notes of date syrup. from the heat and set aside. mellow sourness, which nowadays is While I have the bottle out, I shall Remove the garlic from the oven and quite often. include a little of this thick, tart syrup squeeze the fl esh into a food processor Today, this sticky brown syrup – the into the dressing for a salad of fresh or blender, discarding the skins. Add the best being made with as few ingredients pomegranates and blood oranges, which cherry tomatoes, toasted peanuts, parsley, Photographs JONATHAN LOVEKIN as possible – is for deepening the interest should be particularly welcome under chilli and the pomegranate molasses, ‹

28 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Bright start: roast pumpkin with peanuts and chillies. Facing page: blood orange, pomegranate and orange blossom

Food & drink Nigel Slater

This is the syrup I turn to when I want to introduce mellow sourness, which nowadays is quite often

‹ season lightly with salt and process to a nutty paste. Warm the oil in a frying pan, add the peanut paste and bring to the boil. Continue cooking for 5-10 minutes, stirring frequently, until the mixture has turned a dark terracotta colour and is deeply, nuttily fragrant. Remove from the heat. Remove the pumpkin from the oven, spread some of the paste over each piece and return it to the oven for a further 20 minutes until the nuts are starting to crisp a little. Serve immediately. Blood orange, pomegranate and orange blossom As cheerful as this mixture of fruit and fl ower syrup was for dessert, it was even more so the following day when it came to the table as a winter breakfast. I served it with a bowl of thick yoghurt, but it would have been equally welcome spooned over granola. Serves 4 blood oranges 7 pomegranate 1, large pomegranate molasses to taste orange blossom water to taste mint leaves 12

Using a very sharp knife, remove the peel and any white pith from 6 of the blood oranges. Slice each fruit into about 10 Put a pan of water on to boil and have a handful of chopped mint leaves. thin slices and put them in a bowl, trying ready a steamer basket or colander that Stir half of the spiced pan juices into to catch as much of the juice as you can. Nigel’s will fi t neatly into the top, and a lid. Peel the parsnip purée. Divide between Halve the remaining orange and squeeze 750g of parsnips, cut them into large 2 warm plates, place the rested pork into a small bowl. midweek pieces and steam them for 15 minutes or steaks on top then spoon over the Halve the pomegranate, remove the until they are soft enough to mash. reserved juices and serve. Enough for 2 seeds from one half, then add them to Mash the cooked parsnips to a smooth the oranges. Squeeze the juice from the dinner purée in a food mixer with 50g of butter, The trick other half – I use a lemon squeezer for a little salt and a generous grinding of Get the parsnips on before you cook the this – then pour it into the orange juice. Pork chops black pepper. Transfer it to a mixing bowl pork. Once the steaks are cooked and Introduce the pomegranate molasses, and keep it warm. resting, start to mash the parsnips and a teaspoon at a time, tasting as you go. and spiced Heat a couple of tbsp of olive oil in a add the spices to the pan juices. If you I fi nd 4 tsp about right, but stop when shallow pan over a moderate heat. Lightly want to get the mash made earlier, keep you have a sour-sweet juice that is to parsnips season 2 pork steaks, about 200g each, it warm by placing it in a covered bowl in your liking. Stir in a little orange blossom with salt and black pepper, fry them a pan of hot water. water, drop by drop and tasting as you go. until golden on the underside – about (A few drops is really all you need.) 6 minutes – then turn and brown them The twist Add the mint leaves, leaving them on the other side. Remove them to a Potatoes or swedes are good here whole but lightly crushing them as you warm plate, cover and keep warm. if parsnips are not your thing. This add them, then pour the dressing over Add 1 tsp of ground cumin and 2 tsp of is a quick supper, so I generally use the orange slices, cover with a plate and curry powder to the pan and stir it into a favourite branded curry powder, but refrigerate for at least an hour. the pan juices, still over the heat, letting you could easily make your own spice Serve chilled in wine glasses or small Photograph it cook for a minute. Squeeze in the juice mix if you prefer. Store it in a tightly glass bowls. ■ JONATHAN LOVEKIN of a lemon, let it sizzle briefl y then add stoppered jar in a cool, dark place. ■

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 31 Food & drink Jay Rayner

 @jayrayner1 In the fi rst of a series thumbing through his most-beloved cookery books, Jay feasts like its 1999

The dust jacket is long gone and the title-embossed spine fl aps free. Naturally, many of the pages are sauce- stained : honourable marks of our stove-side adventures together. New British Classics by Gary Rhodes may be more than 20 years old, but the marks of battle are clear. It remains one of my most consulted cookbooks. When I need cooking times for a rib of beef it’s where I go. When I want the perfect recipe for Yorkshire puddings or a steak and kidney pie, I know where to look. Rhodes died suddenly in 2019, but here he is still holding my clumsy hand. This is just one of the glories of cookbooks. They enable a nerdy conversation, whether the author happens to be alive or dead. And so, while restaurants remain closed it is to cookbooks such as New British Classics that I will be turning. Each week in this column, I’ll choose a classic volume from my own collection. I’ll celebrate its recipes. I’ll explore its infl uence on how we eat in general, and on restaurants in particular, and I’ll have a crack at a few key dishes. What could possibly go wrong? My cookbook collection is selective. I’m privileged to be sent vast numbers for free on publication. I’m so privileged that I discard many. If I fl ick through and fi nd over-art-directed colour photography, of a sort my efforts could never match, the local charity shop gets a delivery. Those are less instruction manuals than over- engineered invitations to fail. I keep the ones containing recipes for dishes I want to eat, but I look for other things, too. They must be strong on broader methods. his outrageously rich lobster omelette thermidor, his ‘Healthy ingredients were not something that ever occurred They must have tips that will make me a better cook. pigeon faggot and his killer steak and kidney pudding, to him’: Gary Rhodes’s New British Classics was a bestseller They must be well written. is a set of tinted pages providing the basics: key New British Classics, which was gifted to me at breakfast elements, for example, or the components for lardy cakes. “He insisted on including a recipe for haslet,” fi rst publication in 1999, has all of that. By the time it a Sunday roast. she says now, of the classic terrine generally associated arrived Rhodes was a decade into his TV chef pomp – a Jo Pratt, now an award-winning cookbook author in with Lincolnshire. “Finding pig’s liver and heart was confection of hair gel, baggy trousers and plump fl avours. her own right, was the home economist on New British very hard, but he was determined it would be there.” He’d already published Rhodes Around Britain and its Classics. “It was one of the biggest books I worked on,” Rhodes was similarly uncompromising on nutritional sequels, but this would be his biggest seller, shifting more she says now. “Gary was guidelines. “Healthy ingredients were not something than 300,000 copies. “Gary had done a lot of big hair and a perfectionist. He threw that ever occurred to Gary,” Pratt says. “Oh, the amount silly trousers on TV,” says his then-agent, Borra Garson. ‘It wasn’t himself into the research, of butter in that book.” “It was time to turn the ship on his brand.” After all, he and at times it felt like it The result is a compendium of huge fl avours which was running two restaurants with Michelin stars. Rhodes easy was going on forever.” remains infl uential on restaurants to this day. Tom was celebrated for putting unapologetically robust British Part of the mission, she Kerridge was Rhodes’s sous-chef at Westminster’s dishes at the heart of his classy menu. New British Classics fi nding says, was to assert the Rhodes in the Square, and still has his lobster omelette would focus more on the food and less on the personality. right of British cooking to thermidor on the menu at his restaurant at London’s Some statement cookbooks document a restaurant pig’s liver stand alongside that from Corinthia Hotel. “I still consult New British Classics,” chef’s key dishes. Others are aimed at the domestic and heart elsewhere. So here were Kerridge says. “It’s one of the most infl uential books on cook. The BBC TV series was the latter, but the book recipes for Lancashire my career. I try to keep to Gary’s idea of simplicity on ‹ was both. In among recipes for restaurant food like for haslet’ hotpot, for pork pies and the plate. What can you take away?” Likewise, game STILL/PHOTOSHOTSTAY

32 Photographs GARY MOYES 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine

Food & drink Jay Rayner

Follow the Rhodes: (from top) signature dishes of rarebit- Douglas Laing Is it possible to address a topped haddock; braised oxtail; and baked egg custard tart Wines of Timorous Beastie haggis via Zoom? I guess Highland a few of us are going to ‹ chef and restaurateur Mike Robinson, now of The Blended Malt fi nd out tomorrow night Woodsman in Stratford-upon-Avon and The Elder in the week Scotch whisky – and there’s no reason, Bath, credits the book’s scotch egg recipe for saving it It’s Burns Night £40, Waitrose with all the experience from motorway station ignominy. “I do still have a copy. of socially distanced It’s brilliant on how to give real depth to food. The rarebit tomorrow, so virtual celebrations that recipe is one I still use.” raise a dram to we’ve accumulated over the past year, that I decide to try it myself, not least because Rhodes Burns Night 2021 can’t provide a burst of describes his smoked haddock topped with that rarebit the great man… revelry. Th e whisky’s the thing and, with as a “signature dish”. The recipe makes 10 portions. By David Williams apologies to the many superb distillers Rhodes didn’t do small. His roast beef is for 10 and of Japan, Canada, Sweden, Wales, et al, his baked ham is for “20 to 25 as part of a buffet”. His it really does have to be Scotch. Where instructions for this dish get to the heart of the book: to start? With its reference to one of the its British ingredients and ideas in the service of huge, bard’s most famous poems, the name and bashing fl avours. Think of it as a fi sh pie in solid packaging of independent bottler Douglas form, all pokey smoked haddock and rowdy cheese. It Laing’s blend of Highland malt whiskies is involves 350g of cheddar melted with a little milk, fl our, almost too cute and playful. But it’s actually breadcrumbs, English mustard and Worcestershire sauce really beautifully put together – a richly to create a fridge-chilled block. Slice, place on the fi sh full-fl avoured, candied barley sugar-like and grill. It’s a burnished, low-carb work of genius. I take  @Daveydaibach character with a delightful silky texture. my family’s applause. For the main, I choose his braised oxtail, another so-called “signature dish’ that at the time of publication Highland For a more than decent was banned because of the BSE prohibition on beef Black Blended dram on a budget, there sold on the bone. It requires braising the oxtails with 8 Year Old are two whiskies that vegetables that are then discarded as a mush, and Scotch whisky have stood out for me replaced with more, freshly chopped. The recipe says it £12.99, Aldi in recent years, one should take no more than two hours. It takes me closer apiece from the arch- to three, but it’s worth it. Rhodes’s oxtail is a masterclass four-letter discounters in both braising meat and reducing sauces. I fi nish with Aldi and Lidl, and both his baked egg custard tart which, hilariously, demands well under the £20 barrier where whisky 500ml of cream and eight – count them – eight egg generally starts to get interesting. Th e fi rst yolks. Rhodes insists this should be eaten at room is Aldi’s excellent serial awards-botherer, temperature and he’s not wrong. It puts the “call my a classic blend of various Speyside and cardiologist” into “lush”. Highland malts with Lowlands grain from As one meal, these three platefuls would be all kinds Girvan. Th is would be my choice for mixing of way too much, so I scatter them through the week. in simple gingery classics, such as a whisky Taken individually, however, they are a study in Rhodes’s mac (with ginger wine) or the ginger attention to detail; in his intensity and instinct to feed. highball (with ginger ale). Th e second is It’s like meeting the man at the table. Now I’m replete, Lidl’s Ben Bracken Speyside Single Malt I slip his book back on to my shelf. I know it won’t sit Scotch Whisky (£16.49), which comes on there, unthumbed, for long. ■ like vanilla ice topped with golden syrup, New British Classics by Gary Rhodes (BBC Books) is still nuts and cream and is, in fact, very good available in Kindle e-format , £ 4.9 9 indeed served with that very dessert.

I originally thought of doing comforting a chocolate as you’ll another chocolate box fi nd at the moment. Laphroaig At this cold, dark time Notes on collaboration with Cocoa Runners Th en there’s Willie’s Cacao Lore Islay of year, the whisky that to launch just before Christmas. Milk of the Stars 54% , king of Single Malt appeals most to me chocolate But January is a tough month dark milks, and Dormouse ’s Scotch whisky tends to be the full-on (little did we know, back then, Madagascar Toasted White, the £65, Master of peaty style associated A handpicked box how tough it would get) and so bar which changed my mind about Malt; Th e Whisky with the wind-swept, of special treats I thought we could all do with a bit white chocolate – and perfect Exchange west-coast isle of Islay. of treaty comfort and here we are. for eating with an afternoon fi lm. At their best, Islay’s to help beat the Th is is a beat-the-January- Finally, there’s a bag of mixed distillers make whiskies that come on like January blues. By blues box, for which I’ve chocolate buttons – a fi rst! – a welcoming peat fi re in a glass, although Annalisa Barbieri handpicked every chocolate for Menakao 44% milk and Original when you sip you get not just smoke but its solace and joy-bringing Beans 75% dark . the iodine and salt of the sea. Is there a drink qualities. Most is dark milk, but all As with the last box, with a more profound sense of place than of it is delicious and ethical. a proportion of sales goes to an Islay whisky? Only certain wines can What’s in it? Another thickly charity and neither I nor match the likes of Lagavulin 16-Year-Old coated Pralus Barre Infernale the Observer benefi ts. Th e Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky (£59.95, but this time encasing nougat: box is priced at £37.95 with thewhiskyexchange.com), which has the impossible to stop eating, chewing a 10% discount if you order intense peppery-smoky hit of a smoke- – and it’s messy. Boho Milk with before 7 February quoting house infusing a palate of citrussy fruit. Just Potato Chips – truly one for reference ‘blues1’, and thereafter as intense, Laphroaig’s Lore packs a similar those ‘do I want crisps, do I want £2.50 for each box sold will be winter beach-walk-buff eted-by-sea-spray chocolate?’ moments ; with this donated to Camfed . eff ect, although, as you sip, notes of coff ee,

bar you have both. It’s about as cocoarunners.com toff ee and chocolate emerge, too. WORLDWIDE IRVINE/BBC SÎAN

24.01.21 The Observer Magazine

...... Classified ...... Style Notebook

Fashion editors JO JONES & HELEN SEAMONS

Mickey’sMickkey’s ttimeime Swatch’s latestt collab sees Mickey reimaginedgined usingusing the graffi ti-stylele artworkartwork of the late pop artistartist KeithK Haring in his signature colours. Left, £83, right, £157, swatch.com

1

5

2 4 3 Take it easy Kitri has partnered with photographer Jessie Bush on a 20-piece capsule collection, inspired by her laidback style.style. DrDress,ess, £165, kitristudio.comkitrisstudio.com

1. £45, monki.com 2. £19.99, zara.com 3. £65, Cara & Th e Sky (youngbritishdesigners.com) 4. £375, and-daughter.com 5. £79, Kin (johnlewis.com) JumperJumper dressdress Warm, easy to wear and classically chic SmSmarta and simple, comfortable Try layering a mini style over best suits you, whether that’s anandd dressy… The jumper dress is jeans or wear it under a long a snuggly roll-neck or a plunging alalll thingsth in a single hit. The only cardigan. Wear sleeveless styles V, or consider Reiss’s (£185) isissuesu is what to wear on your feet over thin roll-neck tops for asymmetric neck, which can be contrast (and warmth). Bag a worn off the shoulder. A knittedkn dress is a no-brainer designer bargain on resale website The current colour palette wawardroberd staple. In equal measure vestiairecollective.com , recent spans from neutral classics, such it is chic, cosy and extremely easy listings include a striped style by as John Lewis’s khaki (5, above) to wwear. The only real decision Sonia Rykiel (£86) and an MM6 and &Daughter’s cream (4, above), yoyouu need to make is on footwear. cable knit (£150). The relaxed, to bold styles like Rihanna’s pop Orange Do youy go for a chunky stomper minimal, slouchy silhouette you of orange (left) and a lilac, ribbed alert: boboot,ot either lace-up or pull-on, get with a jumper dress is all about style from Holzweiler (£197). Or Rihanna wiwithth a heavy tread sole? They look comfort and being fuss free, but experiment with a bold pattern, out in grgreatea matched with a mid-calf- you could always add a belt if you like Uniqlo x Marimekko’s (£24.90) Move yyourour bodybody lelengthng jumper dress. The look also want to go for more defi nition. green and black block print, or M&SM&S has added menswearmenswear Manhattan woworksrk well with trainers. Contrast Search for details online, such Cara & The Sky’s gorgeous marble to iGdits Goodmove line,li with a a smartsm black sweater dress with as a thigh split or ribbed texture. style (3, above). Post lockdown and moisture wicking and snsneakers.ea Or opt for ballet fl ats in Add a long necklace for extra tier life, it’s the perfect dress to roll stretch fabrics for comfort. plplaceace of slippers when indoors. interest. Find the neckline that up for a weekend away. Sweatshirt, £22.50, ROBERT KAMAU/GC IMAGES KAMAU/GC ROBERT marksandspencer.com

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 37 Style The edit Woolly Blow the budget scarves Keep the cold winds at bay – and add a welcome splash of colour to your outfi t – with one of these stylish winter warmers

Reversible tartan £48, Moire stristripepe ££175,171 5, LLoeweoewee Mother of Pearl x Campaignpaigi n fforor Neon leopard £66, tartanscarfcompany.co.uk (matchesfashion.com) Edited by HELEN SEAMONS Wool £150, net-a-porter.com paulsmith.com

Buy and help the homeless

Narrow stripe £30, Wallace Recycled cashmere Recycled and made in Manchester Orange £79, Ethically sourced yarn £52, Sewell (shop.tate.org.uk) £160, riley.studio £35, wawwaclothing.com johnstonsofelgin.com Ingmarson (wolfandbadger.com)

Editor’s choice

Pink £38, Winter check £80, Blue patterned £80, Howlin Riley £110, Wool and cashmere lkbennett.com uterque.com (couvertureandthegarbstore.com) wyselondon.co.uk £39.95, barbour.com

38 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Beauty Funmı Fetto

 @FunmiFetto Bare-faced I can’t do beauty which without... A highlighter takes seconds that leaves skin plump and glowing I’ve always said “no-makeup makeup” is a total swizz. We’re led to believe that it takes 15 seconds to achieve it when the reality is more like 15 steps. However, on Glow Recipeipe this occasion, this model ( Balmain SS21) Watermelonon is actually not wearing very much at all. Glow Niacinamidenamide All you need is a powder foundation – Dew Drops the new ones don’t sit in creases, a brow £30 cultbeauty.co.uk .co.uk product that makes even overgrown brows look groomed, and a balm for the When K beauty, akaka lips. For anyone who can’t be bothered SoKo brands (from South with a full-on maquillage, it’s perfect. Korea) infi ltrated thee global beauty industry,ry, 1. Shiseido Synchro Skin Soft Blurring skincare afi cionados Primer £32, shiseido.co.uk 2. Anastasia went into a frenzy. Beauty auty Brow Freeze Clear Brow Wax £24, editors were not immune.ne. cultbeauty.co.uk 3. Crabtree & Evelyn I welcomed the unusuallyy Renew + Nourish Lip Balm £14.50, light but effi cacious texturesres crabtree-evelyn.co.uk 4. Fenty Beauty that we hadn’t seen before. Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Powder Foundation I felt the playfulness brought £27, boots.com 5. Illamasqua a refreshing slant to beauty FoFoundationundation BBrush £28, illamasqua.com and I was intrigued by all these lotions, potions and essences. Still, you did have to cut through the gimmicks to fi nd the gems – like Glow Recipe. Th e water-light, intensely hydrating textures are not only a godsend for dry skins, but also for oily skins that require hydration, but don’t want to lose the glow or acquire 1 grease. I fi nd its skincare productspro give you a plump juicyjui fi nish with more bounceb than a trampoline. ‘ Dew drops’ is a highlighter with skincare properties, 4 without any of the mica, glitter and pearls usually 3 expected in a highlighter. What it is teeming with is ingredients to brighten, soothe and hydrate, such as 2 niacinamide, moringa seed oil and hyaluronic acid. Th e immediate eff ect is glassy- Bucks frizz StyleStyle iti out DeeperDeepe shades looking, glowy skin. You can Searching for a lightweight Th is award-winning Home dyes by Josh Wood,od, use it solo, but I fi nd mixing On my oil that smooths fl yaways hot paddle brush thethe bebeautya insider’s fav e, it in with foundation is and doesn’t look or feel smooths frizz, injectss haha ve becomeb a where it really comes into radar greasy? Th is blend volume and caps thee lockdownlockdo essential. its own. Th e fi nish is sublime. also incorporates temperature at 185CC A shot of this 5 Th e watermelon scent Get gorgeous the fatty acids you to limit hair damage. conditioningconditi agent might be polarising, but tresses while the need for healthy It will even turn helps colourc penetrate I like it: fresh, natural and hair. And it smells itself off . GHD Glide betterbetter and last longer. reminds me of lovely, salon is off limits divine. Living Proof Professional JoshJosh WoodW Miracle stress-free holidays – Vanishing Oil, £31, Hot Brush, £139, Shot, £29,£ joshwood something I’m sure we livingproof.co.uk net-a-porter.com colour.comcolour. LUCA CANNONIERI/IMAXTREE.COM LUCA could all do with right now.

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 39 A Dutch masterpiece Renovating a stunning listed house in Amsterdam became a chance to travel back through the centuries

Words CAROLYN ASOME Photographs ELMAR KROP

40 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine ‘It’s not a typical old house’: Elmar Krop with his partner, Claudia Smithson. Old wood panelling and ornate ceilings are mixed with modern herringbone fl oors and strong defi ning palettes nyone wishing to appear Grand designs: (clockwise from above) grander than they are in the cosy sitting room; the bathroom,with 2021 might buy a house with views across the Amstel river; rich greens, a pediment and columns. stained glass and fl oor-to-ceiling windows For the Dutch architect in the kitchen, which features 30 diff erent AAbraham Salm in 1887, building a house types of marble and an onyx worktop (one of fi ve) on a site by the Amstel river, east of Amsterdam’s city centre, it meant veins running through to appear as one a liberal sprinkling of coats of arms seamless piece. Krop felt keenly that this on mantelpieces, iron grates and glass off-white marble shouldn’t be too shiny, panel doors. but should be in keeping with the hallway “We unearthed stained-glass windows on the fi rst fl oor, which has retained its depicting knights jousting, during the original, worn marble. renovation,” laughs Elmar Krop, the Moving from a 70sqm apartment to fashion photographer who bought the a 4,000 sqm house with fl oor-to-ceiling house four years ago. “Perhaps this was windows had other challenges. “We to suggest he came from a much older worried we would be moving around in family than he actually had, because the a cavernous space and it wouldn’t be cosy house was intended to look like it was at all. It was important for us to make from the 17th century, when actually it every room and fl oor feel as inviting as was built 200 years later.” possible, so we wouldn’t spend all our Previously converted to four time in one favourite room or fl oor.” apartments and an offi ce, it was very Farrow & Ball’s Railings, a blue-black run down and had been on the market shade in the library (also once the offi ce for a long time when Krop moved in of Salm, according to old photographs with his partner, Claudia Smithson, that Krop found) lends a club-room feel, a marketing director. whil e elegant Delft tiles and heavy Pierre “Possibly no one dared to buy it ceilings. “They are beautiful,” Krop says than 30 different types of marble, all Frey curtains add a decorative touch to because it was a listed building, too, of the dark wood and the fl oral motifs laid out in a herringbone pattern the pared-back interior. and the changes one could make were which adorn them, “but then, of course, (something that is replicated in wood The main bathroom, or the in-house limited,” says Krop. But that in itself it meant we couldn’t transform that into in the dining room) along with other spa as it is jokingly referred to by excited the couple, who knew that it a bright white space.” off-cuts of travertine and onyx , Smithson, is one of the few rooms where would encourage them to be creative, The initial plans were to oversee the elegantly mismatched. the couple could strip everything out and weaving traditional features with a more project himself with an architect, but “That was actually quite a bit of the design something new. The room exudes contemporary vernacular. Krop decided to work with his friend fun ; they were all left over pieces so a zen-like tranquillity and Krop was “It’s not a typical old house that you Rachel van der Brug from Rho Interiors , we didn’t know what it was going to also taken by the idea of stairs leading might fi nd on the canal. Every room has after falling in love with a blue onyx look like,” explains Krop. The lustrous up to the bath, and then opening on to different features, including Freemason counter he had seen in her showroom. fl oor highlights the green onyx worktop, arresting views of the Amstel. symbols (because Abraham was “I think something we both felt a Verde Bullae stone with special veining “I’m not really a fan of baths,” he says, a member of the Freemasons), but also strongly about was creating a house that in it. The rich shade of emerald green “but from the second fl oor, looking out of multiple fi replaces and, in the kitchen, felt timeless and which you couldn’t date also matches the existing fi replace, the window, with so much green on either lots of maiolica and a fountain that sits to the decorating trends of 2018,” he says. maiolica fountain and dark green- side and looking on to the river, you can in the corner.” The couple had seen beautiful terrazzo painted walls, while providing a verdant totally forget you are in the middle of a When the couple started to renovate fl oors in Milan with Rho, and marble backdrop to hand-painted De Gournay city.” Slabs of travertine cover every bit of the lower ground fl oor into a basement and natural stone, from Solid Nature , fl amingo walls. wall. It’s a quiet, understated luxury. One fl at, they were surprised to discover old are a recurring leitmotif throughout the In the hallway, it is Vienna white hopes Salm would have approved. ■ hand-painted beams hidden above low house. In the kitchen there are no fewer marble that is bookmatched, laid with the solidnature.com

42 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Gardens James Wong

 @Botanygeek Baby leaves are a joy to grow – and good to eat

I am forever getting into trouble with gardening’s gatekeepers. To date, perhaps the most surprising instance was the really quite lively backlash that occurred when I called gardening “exciting” in an industry talk. According to a fl urry of blog posts and social media messages, this was a terrible, even irresponsible, word choice. Gardening apparently is not “exciting”, rather merely “engaging” or “absorbing” . This suggests that , for large parts of the gardening old-guard, there is not only one correct way to garden, but also only one emotion to feel when you are doing it. To my mind, if you do not feel excited when gardening there are only two possibilities: you either simply see it as outdoor tidying up instead of the wonder of creating artworks from living nature; or you are incapable of feeling excitement, even as the miracle of life is unfolding in front of you. Shoots of recovery: watch colourful nature unfurl in front of you with (above) red beet microgreens or (below) radish seedlings When I sowed my fi rst packet of seeds, given to me by Santa at a Christmas of that wonder. So, here are some of my little as fi ve days, turning leftovers from great sprouts. And for grass-like blades party when I was six, I vividly remember favourite seeds to sow, no matter who last year’s seed packets into the kind of of warm pungency, anything from the being absolutely astounded by the pure you are or where you live, to add light, thing you’d see gracing the plates of fancy onion family is also a good bet, from magic of dry, brown grains exploding colour, fl avour and, yes, excitement, to restaurants. In addition to the familiarly chives to onions and leeks. into growth within only a couple the dark ddaysa of winter. fi ery mustard and cress, radish seeds Finally, if you are after something more of days in the tropical heateat OOnene of the most rewarding almost always make great candidates for quirky, try sowing stevia, a herb which of Singapore. I am not tytypespe of plants to grow are this treatment, including purple-leaved contains compounds that taste more than ashamed to say that, mmicro-greens. Essentially, varieties that give you dazzling burgundy 300 times sweeter than sugar; the little more than 30 years later,r, tthese areh the tiny seedlings crops of peppery leaves. leaves that grow taste as if they have been I get the same sense of oof any plant with edible For those who like milder fl avours, sprinkled in the sweet stuff. wonder, no matter how leleaves, which can be peas and chickpeas provide fresh, sweet Growing herbs and baby leaves is many times I do it. hharvested and eaten at the leaves, often started from seeds fi shed a straightforward, low-cost way to marvel At a time when we ssprouted stage – basically from dry supermarket packets. Any herb at the miracle of creation, that can be are all stuck indoors, pposh cress. They are a nifty will work, too – lemon balm, dill, fennel, enjoyed by anyone with a windowsill – we could do with some wayw to get a harvest in as mint, coriander and parsley all make and they have incredible fl avour, too. ■

Spring shoots, like a dead extravagant pot to fi t them squirrels and deer don’t David Austins. A couple of man’s hand. Th e fi rst narcissi in. She has the gift of it. attack them like last year. new year prunings sit on the have broken through their Th is Christmas my Isolated and unable to table. Th ere are rosemary Plot 29 winter grave. A pot full of mother-in-law gave me buy fl owers, I have ordered buds in the kitchen window Early bulbs and fi ngers, reaching for the a mother-in-law’s tongue: narcissi from the Scilly isles box. Th e hanging geraniums late bloomers future. Hope is buried here. Dracaena trifasciata in and potted Fern Verrow are shuddering through My fi rst bulbs were the family Asparagaceae, paperwhites with our at the front, still showing offer distractions hyacinths, dangling over maybe more commonly vegetable box. I will soon beg January fl ower. over lockdown. water in clear glass, a gift known now as the snake Fern Verrow’s Jane Scotter I’ll wander around the By Allan Jenkins for mothers from primary plant. I worry about it alone to start me some sweet terrace, whisper urgent school. Blue for boys, pink at the beach hut, though peas in her greenhouse, encouragement to the baby for girls. Much later I grew it thrives on little care and for an assorted tray of bulbs and anxiously scan for amaryllis. We don’t have water. Our neighbours will sweet-scented spring. more broken soil. indoor plants any more, pay it an occasional visit. For now, though, our world but there was once a living- Some tulips are shooting has shrunk and we will live Allan Jenkins’s Plot 29 room glade of fi g and yucca. through, too, on the Danish Winter blooms: a delivery of through the still-fl owering (4th Estate, £9.99) is out My daughter Kala has them plot. I wish them well in their paperwhites brings cheer to Bengal Crimson rose and now. Order it for £8.49 from @allanjenkins21 ALAMY; ALLAN JENKINS ALLAN ALAMY;  now, every few years a more Nordic winter and hope the the isolating gardener occasional blooms on our guardianbookshop.com

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 43 Self & wellbeing Illustration EVA BEE Ouch! That hurts! The way we think about pain could change how much we actually suffer

Words MARGEE KERR & LINDA RODRIGUEZ MCROBBIE

We’ve all got a story about pain. Maybe it’s that time you broke your arm skating, or the time you fi nished the game on a twisted ankle, or the 10 hours of labour without an epidural. Maybe your story of pain is a story of violence, the injury and trauma of an assault. Maybe it’s a story of terror. Or it’s heartbreak, the seemingly endless depths of grief and despair after a loss. Whatever it is, (almost) all of us have experienced what we call pain and we’re not in a hurry to experience it again. But have you ever tried to defi ne that pain? When you’re telling the story, how do you explain the pain? Do you try to quantify the injury – how many broken bones, the size of the bruise, the amount of blood? Or do you describe the cause – the type of cancerous cells, the crowning baby, the sharp knife? But what if there was no obvious cause? And how do you communicate the intensity? Is it a searing or scalding burn, a throbbing or dull pressure, a pounding or stabbing headache? Is it worse than a bee sting, but not as bad as a dog bite? When we say “pain”, we tend not to be specifi c, other than to say where it hurts (and even “where” can be hard to pinpoint). We say a root canal is painful, as is a cut fi nger, as is chemotherapy, as is arthritis, as is muscle ache, as is eating hot peppers, as is a broken heart, yet these experiences are wildly different from one another. Their single link is that we use this one astonishingly fl exible but utterly insuffi cient word to describe them all. The more we question this, the more we are confronted by the fact that pain is complex, hard to describe and even harder to understand. Pain is a big concept . It is constructed not only from pharmaceutical companies to Instagram to the relentless becoming a nation more sensitive to pain and offered anatomical structures and neurochemical phenomena, narrative of consumerism – tell us that we can feel good, some convincing data to back up his claim. He noted but also where we are, who we’re with, the reason we’re that we deserve to feel good and that we should feel that where community surveys from the 1920s found there, our previous experiences with pain, what we expect good all the time. respondents had 0.82 episodes of serious illness a year, to feel and what we want. How we react in this moment In an article for the British Psychological Society by the 1980s this had increased to 2.12 episodes. Even and how we think about it in retrospect determine blog, Christopher Eccleston, director of the Centre for after accounting for increases in awareness and life whether it will become part of the rush or the trauma. It is Pain Research at the University of Bath, wrote: ‘The expectancy, the differences were signifi cant. Americans shaped by our genetic material, the physical environment 21st-century world we live in can be characterised as were objectively healthier, yet they said they felt worse. in which we are born and raised, and our personal morals an ‘analgesic culture’, one in which we work to avoid His argument – and he was not the fi rst or last to make it and values, which in turn are forged in and framed by pain and distress. When the avoidance of pain fails – was that our tolerance for discomfort decreased as our the culture, religion and politics of our time. our fi rst thoughts are that any pain should be short- expectation to be comfortable increased. And right now, we are suffering from the symptoms lived, diagnostically relevant, treatable and a cause for In our defence, this wasn’t an entirely unreasonable of a socially dysfunctional relationship with pain. Pain empathy, sympathy or expectation – after all, during the 20th century, we is complex phenomenon, yet the way we treat it is not. social assistance.” When developed treatments and vaccines for many acute and We have more ways to pharmacologically manage pain, The more we experience pain that infectious illnesses, came up with new pharmacological but opioids and over-the-counter analgesics often doesn’t meet that criteria, ways to address pain, our life expectancy doubled, and cause more problems than they solve. The increasing we try and that pain hurts more; the the safety of our homes and workplaces increased. But availability of ever more powerful drugs means that fl aw in our relationship as hard as pain is to defi ne, it’s equally diffi cult to reduce more and more, we expect to be pain-free. And when we suppress with pain is based on completely – not even the strongest opioids can reliably aren’t, this has serious consequences for our health and our expectation that we do it. This mismatch between expectation and reality happiness. The irony is that the more we try to suppress pain, the shouldn’t have to suffer it. has darkened our perception of the pain we’re in and has pain, the more we feel it. more we In the 1980s, Harvard made it feel worse. It’s not just the drugs that promise to deliver this psychiatrist Arthur Barsky More than 30 years later, the trends Barsky observed pain-free existence. Powerful forces – from big feel it warned that America was appear to have grown. In 2017, the US National Bureau of

44 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Condor 2 Ground force. £130, veja-store.com KeepKee on nn runningru ft to AddAdA d lilift toit hevery de w ststridetri withgh theset t lillightweightghtwei trainers

Economic Research, published an article analysing survey Cloud X data from 2011. It showed that Americans reported aches and pains more often than any other nation . According to the survey, 34.1% of Americans reported feeling physical Orange squash. £130, on-running.com pain “often” or “very often”. Australia, at 31.7%, was closely followed by the UK, at 29.4%. At the same time, the US spends more money onn healthcare than any other nation, about $11,172 perr person in 2018. But again, Americans say they feel worse.worse. Speaking to The Atlantic about the data, Barsky suggestedested Americans assume all aches and pains can and shouldld be treatable, and that it would therefore be intolerablee to suffer them. “Curable pain is unbearable pain,” he toldd the magazine. ‘It’s when you think you shouldn’t have to suffer it, that there should be some solution out there,, that it becomes even more intolerable.” Flying high. £160, adidas.co.uk As we adjust our lives around avoidance and suppression, we internalisealisee Ultraboost the message that we cannotnnot In one handle pain. And when we limit our chances to get example, hurt, we fail to learn that wee can get back up again. This swearing has serious, demonstrable lessened consequences for our ability to deal with both the physical and emotional our feeling Cavu Fast feet. £100, newbalance.co.uk pain that life will inevitably Big steps. £105, hokaoneone.eu Minimus Prevail of pain throw at us, and fuels a paradigm in which we don’t believe we have control over pain without the aid of drugs, surgery or medical intervention. Our reliance on drugs and surgery is an unintended consequence of the incredible advances in medicine. The dominance of the biomedical model of the human Th ere are fewfew coconsolationsn disconnected from glee, came home with the £19.99 body helped foster those advances, but it has left us with Séamas to Covid,Covid bbut it is at we’ve been reliably informed Basic Coronavirus Package a big blind spot when it comes to understanding and leastl interesting having that the worst is probably – fatigue, soreness, managing pain. This model considers the human body a celebrity disease. yet to come. On Day 4, I was complaining - rather than as made up of constituent parts that can be assessed and O’Reilly We’ve become objects solemnly informed, ‘Day 5 the £49.99 Covid+ Deluxe repaired – just fi nd the broken bit and fi x it. Treating of fascination to friends is where it gets messy,’ and deal – no smell, coughing the human body like a car can be useful, but this ignores Suffering with and family who’ve not yet a few days later: ‘Beware up random bones, all Sky the role of emotion and cognitive processing in the Covid has cured had it, and who’ve taken day 8.’ Having now regained Sports and Movie channels. generation and management of pain. It also means that to quizzing us on our just a little get-up-and-go For the most part, it’s many of us still think some kinds of pain are more “real” me of my Twitter symptoms as if they’re around day 14, I was today been nice to hear from than others, and it’s the reason that when someone says addiction, and small-town yokels who’ve reminded that, ‘It’s the people, since we haven’t left “It’s all in your head”, it’s not typically meant kindly. given my friends heard we’re in Disneyland. two-week point you have to the house in any form for The invented divide between “emotional” and One small mercy of watch out for’. two weeks. Th is has been “physical” pain is the biggest misconception we need a talking point Covid’s lethargy is that it ‘Th e gorillas in San Diego quite easy for us because to unlearn. Our emotional states have a demonstrable has reduced – though not zoo have it now,’ I was told we have long since lost impact on our physical state and vice versa. The artifi cial  @shockproofbeats ceased - my Twitter use, by several people the day any interest in the world division of mind and body also means potential pathways since focusing on backlit that news became public, outside these walls. Th at for easing pain have been ignored. For example, a 2013 screens has been taxing, either in the hopes I’d depletion in liveliness may study published in the journal Pain found that whenwhen and itit’s s sursurprisingprising how much abandon long-held plans to be the virus’s longest tail; the meaning of a painful experience was reframeded my brain has eenjoyednjoy the visit the poor primates, or a sense of doomy lethargy from detrimental to benefi cial, participants exhibitedbited break from doom scrolling . challenging me to provide an that’s persisted long after a much higher tolerance. But what was more interestingeresting Luckily, others areare on hand alibi for said transmission. the aches and pains have was the fact that this increased tolerance seemedd to toto ininformform us ooff eveverye new Most simply want to know started easing off . have been aided by the co-activation of the opioidid and stat, graph and grimgr tiding. how we’re doing, and I feel sorry for the boy, cannabinoid systems, our endogenous painkillers.rs. How Weirdly, I’d not noticed scan us for symptoms . who suff ered a few days we think about painful experiences has measurableable thatthat every sinsinglegle pperson Many seemed not just of sickness, and then 10 neurobiological effects that change how we feel pain.pain. I know has spentspent the intrigued but positively days idling like an interned In one example, swearing can lessen the past year doingdoing delighted by the idea we rocket, trapped indoors perception of pain . Of course, as relieving as a correspondencecorresponden course might lose our sense of with two decrepit adults. a well-timed expletive can be in the short term, wewe in epidemiolepidemiologyo and taste and smell, and have It goes without saying can’t swear our way to a better relationship with each nonoww knows been sorely disappointed that all our middle-class pain. That’s going to take a lot more work. ■ more aaboutbo the each time we’ve reported aversions to him watching sysymptomsmptom – that both remain intact. CBeebies all day have been This is an edited extract from Ouch! Why Pain our sysymptomsmp Th ere’s usually a pause shredded. For this we are Hurts, and Why it Doesn’t Have To by Margee – tthanhan we ddo. At on the phoneline in such forgiving ourselves. It’s Kerr and Linda Rodriguez McRobbie, published by every stage, aand with instances, as if we’re either that or we get him Bloomsbury Sigma at £18.99 somethinsomethingg nnoto entirely miserly cheapskates, who started on Twitter.

The Observer Magazine 24.01.21 45 Dear Mariella The idea of having a baby scares me. What if my child is horrible?

 @mariellaf1

The dilemma I am terrifi ed of having children. all this to encourage you to continue to give it the degree Not childbirth, but the thought of potentially of scrutiny you are. Childbirth is neither a responsibility nor an bringing up absolutely horrible kids. expectation for all. The planet will benefi t if you choose I recently entered my late 20s and have to say no and, increasingly, women will choose to do so been married to my older, lovely, husband unless we manage to make a more woman-sized space in society – one that supports parents properly. for more than a year. When we fi rst met we Ask anyone who’s had a baby, though, and it’s hard dream ed of our future family, but I feel the to fi nd regrets. Parents may wish they’d been better older I get the more comfortable and happy aware of the cataclysmic impact it would have on their lives, but few wish they had taken a different turn. When a working men’s club. He’d I am in my carefree, albeit selfi sh, life. He, on I was in my 20s I had no intention of having children . drink beer with his mates the other hand, cannot wait to be a father. Yet Indeed, my feeling was that it was an act of reckless Sunday and we’d have two bottles of all I read and hear about, all day, every day, selfi shness to bring one into this cruel world. Back Coke and a packet of crisps, is how horrendously hard parenting is. And then nuclear meltdown was a genuine concern and my with... then we’d go back and Mum own experience of childhood was not one I would have Former MP Tom would have a roast beef joint how a woman loses not only her identity, but wished on anyone. In my early 30s I began accruing for lunch. Our Sunday treat her body, soul and spirit, and then also the godchildren and that’s when I realised that they were Watson on jazz was pop. Me and my brother intimacy of her partner. quite good company and offered a fresh perspective on and crime novels and sister loved it, and life that was a welcome alternative to my tired world whoever poured it had the This new trend of open tell-all parenting vision. As I crept toward 40 and the element of choice last glass, so it was poured blogs and podcasts has turned me completely receded, the more I began to desire a baby of my own. By fairly between the glasses. off the idea. It sounds awful. What if we 40, when I fi nally married, Are you an early riser? produce an appalling child like in all the tales it had become a desperate I wake up between 5.30am A special Sunday? When The heart is quest . 6.30am. I can never lie in – I was at the height of my I read? Will this all-consuming child take When my fi rst child, politics gave me that. powers, I’d get a table away my happy life – a life I worked really a mystery – Molly, fi nally arrived I would I start the day with booked at the Groucho Club. hard for ? Don’t get me wrong, I am a fi ercely have welcomed Rosemary’s a stylised coff ee-making I loved sitting there with the loving your Baby or Damien into my ritual that involves grinding kids, reading the Sunday loving person and would put my child before eagerly waiting arms. coff ee beans. But coff ee isn’t papers. I’d put on my airs anything else, I am sure. Yet I feel I am at own child In comparison, my little breakfast. Th at comes mid- and graces, drinking white a crossroads. It seems too high a cost for is rarely mergirl, fi ngers waving like morning after a fasted run wine with the starter and fronds of seagrass, seemed something that could be so dreadful. – if I’m feeling virtuous! I’ll red with the main course. a choice nothing short of miraculous. cook bacon, lean sausages, The human heart is mushrooms and eggs, What makes a Sunday Mariella replies You have a point. There you are, recently a mystery, capable of endless expansion and, seemingly, or a cheesy omelette, so special? When I was married, enjoying the newfound pleasures of settled when it comes to children, almost never exclusion. whoever’s in the house gets a politician, I’d work every coupledom – why would you want anything to come Loving the child you create is rarely a choice and, no a really good breakfast. Sunday and I’d often do between you? There’s defi nitely a surfeit of information matter how obnoxious it turns out to be, it’s unlikely Sunday-morning media. about childrearing out there, and little of it is celebratory. you’ll be the one aware of their faults. I wouldn’t wish Sunday soundtrack? I’ll listen Since I left politics, I feel like Then again, who writes a diary when they’ve had on you the mad rush to conceive I went through , nor to jazz or the John Wilson I’ve been given Sundays a remarkably pleasant day? should you have a baby as an act of submission to your Orchestra – they do big back, and it’s made me I can’t reassure you that parenthood won’t irrevocably husband’s will. Of course you need to make decisions in numbers from Hollywood more aware of the seasons. change your life and, were I to have embraced it at your partnership now, but the burden of responsibility still fi lms like Oklahoma. I read In spring and summer I’ll age, some of those changes would certainly have been falls heavier on a mother’s shoulders in all but a few voraciously and I’ve run out tend my vegetable patch, unwelcome. Having kids is not a passport to permanent thoroughly emancipated unions. My advice would be of room for books, so I’ll and in winter I’ll wrap up for happiness, nor a one-way ticket to hell. It’s a biological to take the heat off for a while and ask your husband often listen to crime novels a walk in the Wyre Forest. ability that most women are born with and for to do the same. Enjoy the relationship you have and on Audible. During lockdown Samantha Rea a minority of women in the world today it’s a privileged make the most of these glory days of freedom. It sounds I spent Sunday mornings Downsizing by Tom Watson choice. Aren’t you lucky that it’s a topic you can dwell on, likely that, eventually, you will become parents, but that pottering round the kitchen is published by Kyle Books.Books. discuss with your husband and make a decision about doesn’t mean it will ruin your life, only that it will change listening to everything ever PaperbackPaperback out now (£8.99) that is entirely subjective and yours to make? In so many it and that, I suspect, is why it’s such a popular choice. written by Arthur Conan other parts of the world it’s a life sentence – a straight Whatever your convictions now they will shift and Doyle, and I’ve just fi nished line between puberty, marriage, sex and motherhood sharpen, or mellow and dissolve as the years progress. the latest Robert Galbraith. that continues on a loop until you die of exhaustion or And one last tip – stop reading the baby blogs until reach menopause and breathe a sigh of relief. I’m saying you need hands-on advice! ■ Sundays growing up… My dad would take us to what Write to us: If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to [email protected]. To have your say on

was known in the 70s as this week’s column, go to observer.co.uk/dear-mariella REX/SHUTTERSTOCK ALAMY;

46 24.01.21 The Observer Magazine Classified ......