Cheshvan 5765 • November 2004 • VOL XXXVII/NO. 9 U.S.A. $3.50 (Outside NY area $3.95)/Foreign $4.50

RECOGNITION,DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT TO ACHIEVE MENTAL HEALTH

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: Bnei Brak – 80 Years of Torah Cell Phone: Friend or Foe, Rabbi Pinchos Jung Second Looks by Rabbi Yonoson Rosenblum, CLICK HERE Rabbi Avi Shafran, Dr Bernard Fryshman FOR TABLE OF CONTENTS THEJJewishewish OOBSERBSERVERVER Cheshvan 5765 • November 2004 • VOL XXXVII/NO. 9

THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021- 6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath Israel of This is the full Table of Contents of the print edition of the America, 42 Broadway, New York, NY10004. Periodicals postage paid in Jewish Observer. The web edition contains only a selection of New York, NY. Subscription $24.00 per articles (indicated in COLOR). Click on the title to go to the year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States beginning of that article. Navigate using your browser’s menu (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $12.00 surcharge per year. Single and other options. copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 42 Broadway, NY, NY 10004. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: 6 Bnei Brak, 80 Years of Torah, David Hoffman 646-254-1600. Printed in the U.S.A. 11 “Is There a Mesivta for Me?” – an Answer From Bnei Brak, RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR Rabbi Avrohom Ehrman

EDITORIAL BOARD RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS Chairman LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL: RABBI ABBA BRUDNY RECOGNITION,DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT TO ACHIEVE MENTAL HEALTH JOSEPH FRIEDENSON RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIRZNER RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN 17 To Be or To Deny? – That is the Jewish Question, PROF. AARON TWERSKI Introduction by David Mandel DR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER Z”L RABBI MOSHE SHERER Z”L 19 Hashem Helps Those Who Seek Help Themselves, Abe Goodson Founders Totally Engrossed: Extreme Piousness or Obsessive MANAGEMENT BOARD 23 AVI FISHOF, NAFTOLI HIRSCH Compulsive Disorder? Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, CSW ISAAC KIRZNER, RABBI SHLOMO LESIN NACHUM STEIN 29 Dealing with Depression, Manuel Wertman, MA RABBI YOSEF C. GOLDING Managing Editor 32 On Nature And Nurture: Depression In Women, Published by Dr. Hindie M. Klein Agudath Israel of America

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BRITISH REPRESENTATIVE BELGIAN REPRESENTATIVE 38 Cell Phone: Friend or Foe, Rabbi Pinchos Jung M.T. Bibelman Mr. E. Apter Grosvenor Works Lange Kievitstr. 29 Mount Pleasant Hill 2018 Antwerp London E5 9NE, ENGLAND BELGIUM SECOND LOOKS

FRENCH REPRESENTATIVE SOUTH AFRICAN Rabbi Bamberger REPRESENTATIVE 41 How Soccer on Rosh Hashana Threatens Our Survival, 21 Boulevard Paixhans Mr. V. Taback 57000 Metz PO Box 51552, Yonoson Rosenblum FRANCE Raedene, Johannesburg 2124 SOUTH AFRICA SWISS REPRESENTATIVE 44 Super Powers, Rabbi Avi Shafran Mr. S. Feldinger Leimanstrasse 36 4051 Basel, SWITZERLAND 46 Building Torah Together… From Afar, Dr. Bernard Fryshman THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not assume responsibility for the Statement of Policy Kashrus of any product, The Jewish Observer has devoted a great deal of trolled to every possible degree, our gedolim rec- publication, or service advertised space to the perils of the Internet and to the need ognize that many people and businesses require for everyone to be extremely vigilant in its use. its use, and therefore it has not been banned. This in its pages We have echoed the pleas of our gedolim that it is why we accept advertisements listing website © Copyright 2004 should not be in use, unless it is an unavoidable addresses, but in no way does this imply that the necessity, and then only with all suitable safeguards. gedolim or The Jewish Observer condone casual November 2004 While its dangers must be recognized and con- use of the Internet. VOLUME XXXVII/NO. 9 SUBSCRIBE TO THE JEWISH OBSERVER! CLICK HERE. LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL RECOGNITION, DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT TO ACHIEVE MENTAL HEALTH

The Ribbono Shel Olam entrusted us Rosh Hayeshiva of the Yeshiva of Rabbi Aryeh Malkiel Kotler a”jyls,* Rosh with a functioning human body, Philadelphia, pointed out in a conversa- Hayeshiva of Beth Medrash Govoha in endowed with senses of awareness, with tion with the writer, one looks to the Lakewood: David Hamelech cries out in feelings and intelligence to use in our avo- Ribbono Shel Olam with gratitude for Tehillim,“,usuvk hapb rdxnn vthmuv das Hashem.We are certainly obliged to “hfhtkj, kfk tprv hfbug kfk jkxv lna ,t – Release my soul from con- maintain good health and full strength …. He forgives all your sins, He heals all finement to thank Your Name” (142,8). to make sure that we function at our best. your diseases, He redeems your life The Malbim explains that this chapter This also includes emotional stability and from the pit” (Tehillim 103, 3-4). As the expresses anguish for both physical optimum mental health. Radak points out, Hashem’s healing pain and the depravation of his soul. If in any way we do not function ide- process is for both man’s guf (body) and When Hashem releases him from this ally, we should be expected to see to it his nefesh (lifeforce). A person certainly state, he is liberated on both levels. No that the area of weakness is diagnosed and must look to Hashem for help, but he must less when one suffers from emotional lim- any ailment is cured, or at least mitigated, also draw on established cures for his phys- itations and blocks, must one seek help, to enable us to serve Hashem as fully and ical ailments, as he must pursue proven beseeching Hashem – coupled, of course, wholesomely as possible, and interact with wisdom to find relief from emotional and with the hishtadlus (human effort) of others with decency and respect. mental problems. seeking out appropriate help to achieve As Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky a”jyls, A similar message was expressed by freedom and full function. N.W.

David Mandel

linically depressed, obsessive- taining our physical health – “Venish- fort level in acknowledging the presence compulsive disorder, post-par- martem me’od lenafshoseichem – And you of cancer, but not psychiatric illnesses Ctum depression, bipolar should guard your lives to the utmost” such as depression, bipolar disorder or disorder. What do these words really – as a healthy person can better fulfill personality disorders. We may feel that mean? To what extent do such problems all the mitzvos. Our community suffers cancer is a medical condition, while exist in our community? How are they from its fair share of medical conditions, depression is an emotional condition, treated? Can they be cured? such as high blood pressure, diabetes, but in fact, both are medical conditions. The Jewish Observer has, for decades, obesity and cardiovascular problems, and Cancer, l”r,reveals itself in one organ been instrumental in educating, chal- so, exercise, weight management and pre- and may eventually affect not only many lenging and encouraging us to initiate ventive testing are essential to our other parts of the body, but also the improvement in our spiritual health. Our good health. What of our mental emotional well-being of the person. Torah places equal emphasis on main- health? Conversely, clinical depression begins * David Mandel is Chief Executive Officer at OHEL Severe as it may sound, our com- At a workshop for yeshiva principals, held in Children’s Home & Family Services. munity has developed a certain com- Lakewood last year, focusing on family issues.

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 17 in the mind and can eventually para- argued it was a bad idea to have such about shidduchim, at times placing a lyze the body from performing every- open discussions in newspapers, sem- jaundiced view on this young man’s day functions such as working, making inars and Jewish radio. Concomitantly, prospects because he sought help, is prob- rational decisions and maintaining new programs spawned to serve fami- lematic. And herein lies the dilemma. relationships. lies confounded by frustration with and Can a family feel secure in seeking prop- In the pages that follow, my colleagues rising anger at their children who had er care and treatment for a son, daugh- at OHEL Children’s Home and Family turned to alcohol, gambling and drugs. ter, brother or sister from organizations Services, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Once again, naysayers complained, such as Ohel, Pesach Tikvah, FEGS, CSW, Manny Wertman, and Dr. Hindie these very programs, intended as sup- Mishkan/Jewish Board, Met Council, Klein, discuss the more common men- port to families, counseling children and HASC and others without suffering from tal health issues that affect members of educating the community, were them- a communal shidduch shame? our community. In addition, we have an selves overdramatizing and exacerbat- Many noted Rabbanim and Roshei article written by a person recovering ing the problem Yeshiva – including a number of from a bout with mental illness. Our Nonsense! In any given population, Agudath Israel’s rabbinic leadership – purpose herein is to inform readers and there exists a certain percentage of peo- have publicly encouraged families to demystify mental health by describing ple “with issues.”These issues will dif- obtain professional care and treat- how these ailments manifest themselves, fer amongst population groups, be it ment. There are times, they’ve stated, to how they are treated, and how family children or elderly, Ashkenazi or speak to your Rav, and there are times members and the community can pro- Sephardi, from the suburb or the big to consult a psychologist, psychiatrist or vide support. city, but arguably, population groups social worker. The Jewish Observer’s special issues always, always include people with It is our hope that these articles clar- in recent years on Adolescents at Risk problems. And these same people ify issues, and educate and encourage and on Special Education are topical and seek solutions. That is the natural order those who need to seek advice and/or reflect current events. A probe into men- of life and it is just as Hashem intend- treatment. Most of all, these articles tal health issues requires a similar ed it to be. should broaden the lens through which emphasis. Discussions of unacceptable It is good when parents seek servic- we perceive, tolerate and respond to adolescent behaviors burst wide open es for their son who suffers from those in our community with a psy- approximately six years ago. Many depression. Our community’s concern chiatric illness. ■ ...Your only real choice when it comes to Foreign Residents’ Mortgages in Israel … and a great deal more

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18 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL Abe Goodson

THE ROCKY ROAD TO REALIZATION an overactive imagination, but to me, they ot everyone diagnosed with are larger than life. mental disorders is as fortunate. I sit at the table in the Yeshiva dining room The hanhala is at a loss. Perhaps my NThere is a vast multitude of peo- oblivious to the easy chatter that fills the air. diligence and excellence in learning has ple like me, across the United States, most It seems surreal, part of another world where lulled them into the false belief that my of them hiding in the figurative closet I do not belong – cannot enter. My little island troubles are just insignificant quirks, part for fear of being stigmatized and ostra- is lonely, but the Spartan regimen I have of a passing phase, something I will even- cized. We rightly worry about losing imposed on myself leaves no room for social tually outgrow. friends, jobs, shidduchim, and spouses. life. I must be totally aware of what I am At any event, the tragic saga of my According to a recent report on mental eating; otherwise, I may starve to death. It teenage continues unabated into adulthood. health by the United States Surgeon is some time since I have become convinced I am hospitalized twice, once for as long General, mental illness – which includes that if I eat too much at one meal, I will not as twelve weeks. The humiliation of being major depression, manic-depressive ill- be hungry at the next. So, I pick at my forcibly fed haunts me. Only the warm ness, schizophrenia and anxiety disor- mashed potatoes and worry that the tiny por- intervention of the Novominsker Rebbe der – is the second leading cause of tion I am consuming is too much. The other gives me some comfort. Another time, I disability and premature mortality in the bachurim,who have long since concluded intentionally try to damage my arm, in a United States. Yet, more than 50 percent that I am “different,” talk and joke amongst desperate ploy for attention. Yet, I continue of all people with diagnosable mental dis- themselves, unaware of my plight. Finally, to “sweep my problems under the rug,” with orders fail to seek treatment. the torturous meal comes to an end. But, the hope that I will soon “grow up” and The stigma attached to mental illness rather than leaving my worries behind in be rid of them. The final travesty is my ill- is responsible for a great deal of resist- the dining room, I merely transfer them to advised marriage, into which I plunge ance among the population to seeking another location. headlong, without logic and with no help. According to the Surgeon General, The laundry room suddenly looms plans for counseling. “Every day language encourages a mis- nightmarish in my imagination. Logically, After ten years of vainly attempting to perception that mental health or men- I know that if I want clean clothes, sooner settle our difficulties on our own, my wife tal illness is unrelated to physical health or later, I will have to do laundry. But what finally convinces me to get help. Two more or physical sickness. In fact the two are if there won’t be enough detergent in the years are lost in ineffective treatment, until inseparable.”Recent ground-breaking dis- vending machine? I agonize. Or perhaps I I eventually find a clinician who correctly coveries have successfully tracked many won’t have the right amount of change. These diagnoses me. Only after I receive proper emotional problems to real, measurable are senseless, groundless fears – figments of treatment, which includes medication and physical changes in the human brain, pre- Abe Goodson is the non-de-plume for a person cognitive-behavior therapy, am I able to begin senting clinicians with a wide arsenal of who grew up in the New York area. recovery and restore serenity to our family. tools for treating these problems.

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 19 Exciting, new medications restore a neu- THE ORTHODOX RESISTANCE the chassuna.When one withholds rochemical balance in the brain, and, information of such problems, as one is when used together with psychothera- isconceptions and general lack naturally inclined to do in order to “get py, have been shown to be extremely of familiarity with mental a shidduch,” the results may be disastrous. effective in combating many disorders. Mhealth in the Orthodox Jewish Once I decided that I was “ready” to find Still, old stigmas die hard, and medica- community further complicate the my shidduch,I was advised that I should tion for mental health is as yet widely course for frum people who need help. inform my wife-to-be that I had suffered shunned. Thus, while mental illness is For example, to tell or not to tell of men- from anorexia nervosa as a young no less legitimate than other physical ill- tal illness when dealing with shid- teenager, but since I had overcome the nesses given by the Ribbono shel Olam, duchim has become the subject of eating disorder, there were no additional and the suffering of the mentally ill is debates, forums, halachic rulings, and so concerns about entering into marriage. no less acute than that of the physical- forth. Sadly, emotional difficulties that I deluded myself into believing that ly ill, it is compounded and its treatment seem minute prior to marriage may come the intermittent adjustment problems frustrated by the stigma which dogs it. to dominate an entire relationship after that I had experienced in the past would have no bearing on married life. After all, I was assured, once I was mar- Sefer “Chazaras Hashas” ried to the right person, things would “fall into place.”In fact, things did “fall” after By Rabbi Abraham Portal we were married, but not into place. It was only after ten years of causing my This is the Sefer you have been waiting for! Mastering the daf: Now you will have the ability wife great suffering that I finally con- It is unique. It will be of great help for everyone to know the Rambam, Shulchan Aruch and the sented to obtain professional help. Me’eri on the tip of your fingers. This sefer will - Baalei Batim, Scholars, Yeshiva and Daf Like physical illnesses, real mental dis- Hayomi students. assist you to master each daf the gemara. We are hoping v’’ht to have all six Sedarim orders rarely resolve themselves without What benefits can I derive from this Sefer? competent professional intervention. Not Before the Shiur: Preview the daf ahead of time. printed by the beginning of the next Machzor Knowing what it is all about before hand will of the Daf Hayomi - March 2005. Get your set the passage of time, nor going to yeshi- help you to concentrate and understand fully as soon as possible. Supply is limited. va, seminary or college, nor entering into the gemara, and will enable you to participate This sefer has the Haskamos of Roshey marriage nor any other life changes are in class discussions. Hayeshivos and Torah Scholars throughout the cures for resolving such disorders. Having After the shiur: Review the psak halacha world. avoided a concerted course of therapy dur- relevant to the daf. Repeat each halacha until On sale: sgun ohgrz rsx and ohab rsx each ing my teenage years when I was relatively it is clear in your mind. rsx in two volumes - only $35.00 free of major responsibilities, I only suc- Hameor Book Distributors Inc. ceeded in guaranteeing that the same dis- Tel.# (718) 437-0054 Fax: (718) 437-3514 • Rabbi A. Portal (718) 544-6544 order would exhibit itself during a stage in life when my wife and children yearned vainly for emotional stability.

THE PITFALLS OF POSTPONEMENT

ccording to Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski in Successful ARelationships: At Home, at Work and With Friends,when issues that can be resolved during childhood or teenage years are neglected, they may lead to addi- tional adjustment problems. “When matters reach a crisis point and the prob- lem is acknowledged, some of the dam- age cannot be undone. Young people whose personality problems were sup- posed to be solved by marriage may end up in unhappy marriages, which may not survive. In these cases, the children of these marriages may come into this world with two strikes against them.”

20 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 It is then critical that any past or pres- Financial constraints are another (gemachim) to help families meet the ent emotional difficulties be shared fully major deterrent in the quest for adequate financial obligations with or engendered with a prospective spouse. Honest dis- treatment of the mentally ill. Many insur- by extended therapy. closure before marriage can pave the way ance plans provide minimal or no In certain Orthodox Jewish com- for an especially close partnership, pre- mental health benefits. The reality of munities in the United States, an alliance cisely because the midda of emes and financial hardship posed by mental has been successfully formed between trustworthiness were displayed at a health problems cries out to members rabbis, Jewish educators, parents and critical time when so much was at stake. of the Orthodox Jewish community, rach- mental health professionals. These Fear of sabotaging a shidduch through manim bnei rachmanim.We have seen alliances work interchangeably, as men- disclosure may be countered by stead- how well our community has respond- tal health professionals help leadership fastly trusting that Hashem Yisbarach, ed to the needs of special children and figures understand the problems of the Who has selected each person’s shidduch, those with learning disabilities. The next mentally ill, and in turn, practitioners will not allow harm to befall the intend- frontier is that of mental disorders. We are educated about the special needs of ed zivug when one is yashar (complete- need to establish community funds their Orthodox patients. Through edu- ly honest) with the other person. Despite the obligation to be honest, though, sim- ply disclosing potential problems to a prospective spouse without presenting a strategy for success is foolhardy. Premarital counseling by G-d-fearing professionals is available today and provides opportunities for honest dis- closure in a safe environment.

THE RELIGIOUS DIMENSION

ental disorders within our community often masquerade Mas religious practices and pre- vent the patient or his family from seek- ing treatment. A typical example of this is exhibited as a form of obsessive-com- pulsive disorder known as “scrupulosi- ty,” in which the person alternates between an obsession that he has not ful- filled a religious obligation and the compulsion to repeat the performance. This disorder is often misread as religious devotion. In fact, rather than strengthening a person’s ability to serve Hashem prop- erly, mental ill-health robs him of that function. Rabbi Shimon Schwab l”xz once likened a person with a physical illness to an “airplane that cannot get off the ground.” Mental illness is equally debil- itating. For nearly thirty years, I was unable to daven with kavana, until I began tak- ing medication for obsessive-compulsive disorder. What’s more, once I began to overcome these challenges, the process led me to a wonderful closeness to Hashem Yisbarach.Rabbi Akiva’s famous assertion “chavivin yesurin”– suffering is dear – applies as much to suffering from men- tal illness as from physical pain.

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 21 cational forums, mental health profes- FINDING THE expertise in the type of disorder expe- sionals provide guidance to communi- APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL rienced, and are in the required place ty leaders, educators and parents on how at the right time. Once my wife and I to recognize mental health problems at oncerns about finding the finally began therapy, it took us two years early stages and what modes of thera- appropriate professional for the to realize that we were wasting our time py are available. Training sessions also COrthodox patient may under- with our respective practitioners. In fact, focus on the subject of preventive men- standably dissuade some people from my therapist succeeded in creating tal health intervention. It is hoped that seeking mental help therapy. The fear more distrust between my wife and me, as a result of such training exercises, par- of being treated by a therapist who lacks rather than helping us. Alternative ents and educators will become sufficiently the proper reverence and respect for the strategies for finding appropriate ther- educated to discern when professional patient’s religious value system is well- apists should be explored. intervention is needed and to select the founded. On the other hand, not all Alliances between community lead- appropriate therapist, should the need arise. Orthodox therapists have suitable ers and mental health professionals may be helpful in dealing with these s’’xc issues, as well. Educators need to con- During the past two-and-a-half years, duct training sessions for mental health families that made weddings conforming professionals, in order to gain an expanded pool of expert, trustworthy to the Guidelines, saved many thousands therapists to call upon when a referral of dollars in unnecessary expenses. is necessary. Ideally, such therapists will subscribe to the patient’s belief sys- The Guidelines reduce stress and anxiety, tem, or at least view it as an asset. and enable baalei simcha to enjoy the An added word of caution to those spirit of the wedding, rather than being who suffer from mental disorders: As with all other illnesses, it pays to be your focused on the excess trimmings. own advocate. Relying on the final word of a practitioner is imprudent. The patient should read mental health liter- Simcha Guidelines ature which explains the characteristics of and available treatment for the men- THE VORT • The menu for the seuda is tal illness that is diagnosed or suspect- ed. And, finally, place your trust in the • The Vort celebration is to be limited to 3 courses followed by a regular dessert. Ribbono shel Olam, the Healer of all ill- discontinued. The L’chaim (held at nesses, Who surely paved the way to the time that the engagement is • No Viennese table and no bar. recovery before giving the illness. ■ announced) should also not turn into a Vort. THE MUSIC THE WEDDING • A band may consist of a maximum • For typical families, only 400 invit- of 5 musicians (one of the musicians ed guests may be seated at the chas- may act as a vocalist) or four musi- suna seuda. (The Guidelines make cians and one additional vocalist. provision for exceptional circum- • A one-man band is recom- stances - see full text.) mended. • The kabbolas panim smorgasbord FLOWERS & CHUPA DECOR should be limited to basic cakes, fruit platters, a modest buffet, and • The total cost of these items for the caterer’s standard chicken or the entire wedding should not meat hot dishes. exceed $1,800. FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE SIMCHA GUIDELINES WITH ITS RABBINICAL SIGNATORIES AND THE ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, please email [email protected] or call 212-612-2300

22 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, CSW

aakov was admired from a distance. of Gehinnom with my own two hands. Now, Instead of bringing her comfort, her hus- Many boys in the yeshiva were amazed stop worrying!” band’s mention of Pesach only causes Rivka Yat his ability to daven such a long After that, Yaakov still worried, but he more distress – giving her something new Shemoneh Esrei.He would spend close to an was afraid to bring it up anymore with his to worry about. hour every Shacharis,seemingly intensely rebbe,so he suffered in silence. engaged in tefilla. However, his closest friends ivka is a happily married young LOCKED IN RITUAL and his rebbe knew the truth: instead of dav- mother. She was always careful ening with kavana, most of Yaakov’s time in Rabout halacha; her friends used to bsessive-compulsive disorder Shemoneh Esrei was spent agonizing over the call her “the rebbetzin.” Lately, though, she (OCD), a mental illness that possibility that he missed or mispronounced has become overly concerned with Oaffects 2-3% of the population, a word, compelling him to carefully repeat kashrus.She keeps coming up with inter- imprisons people inside rituals and rou- words and phrases over and over. esting but strange she’eilos that don’t seem tines that they feel compelled to follow, Yaakov was not engaged in a deep mys- to bother most people. For example, she as a way to ward off intrusive fears or tical exercise. Rather, he was engaged in a tor- wonders why it is okay to use the same thoughts. When a person who has turous battle with himself. He sought the advice water pitcher for milchig and fleishig.She OCD attempts to resist these compul- of his rebbe,who would constantly assure him watches how everyone in the family touch- sions, he or she experiences extreme anx- that he was worrying about nothing, but it es the handles with greasy hands and then iety and panic, with a feeling of did not make a dent in calming Yaakov’s fears. goes on with eating and touching the food. impending doom unless the rituals are One time, after an extremely frustrating give When she brought it up to her husband, followed. Some of the typical rituals and take over Yaakov’s endless worries about he shrugged off her concerns, saying, manifested by persons suffering from tefilla, his rebbe became exasperated and told “They don’t have separate pitchers at my OCD are: him, “Yaakov, I promise that you will not be Rosh Yeshiva’s house, so why should we!” • Excessive hand washing out of a fear held accountable for missing a word of prayer. But Rivka remained uneasy. Because of this, of becoming contaminated. I personally guarantee that I will take you out Rivka feels obligated to clean and scrub • Checking behavior. Such as: before every kitchen counter and every shelf in the going to sleep, repeatedly checking to see Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, CSW,serves as refrigerator. After watching all this, her hus- if the door is locked. Director of Community Services in Ohel band says, “Rivka, it’s not Pesach. You can • Needing to get dressed in a certain Children’s Home and Family Services in Brooklyn. take it easy on the cleaning.” order, to avoid certain words, or say cer-

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 23 tain words to fend off doom, or to ward thoughts, which then helps people to medications may be used in conjunc- off what the person considers to be change their behaviors. Persons suf- tion with the therapy. However, a full dangerous or harmful thoughts and fering from OCD benefit from a spe- survey of available treatments is wor- impulses. cialized form of behavior therapy thy of a separate article. This article will • A fear that a blessing was not recit- called exposure and response preven- be limited to defining and diagnosing ed correctly, or a word was mispro- tion, which helps them learn to chal- OCD within the context of religious nounced or not said properly, lenge their fears and feelings of doom, ritual. necessitating several repetitions of and to tolerate anxiety via various sup- the same prayer. portive exercises and a controlled, DEVOTION… OR DISORDER? The treatment found to be most increased exposure to the situation that effective for OCD is cognitive-behav- causes the obsessive thoughts which ince it is at times appropriate to ioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral trigger the OCD behaviors discussed be scrupulous about religious therapy (CBT) helps people learn to above. In addition, depending on the Smatters, one of the questions that identify and challenge irrational severity of the symptoms, certain come up for persons suffering from OCD and their family members is how cx"s to differentiate between behavior that stems from piety and religious devo- tion, and behavior that stems from OCD. Someone who is ignorant about SUNRISE OR Yiddishkeit and observes a balabuste before Pesach could easily conclude that she’s obsessing over crumbs, or some- one watching a baal kriah prepare the SUNDOWN? weekly leining would think,“This guy is crazy, making sure he has each syl- lable properly pronounced.”And con- To most ordinary families, a newborn child brings on new horizons, sider recent current events: The new hopes, and new worlds. To parents, a child represents a future Torah-observant community was full of potential and growth. turned upside-down over hairs and microscopic bugs! Any of these behav- To Family G. and two-week old Moshe, it was not so. iors would appear compulsive and irra- After his mother was diagnosed with a rare disease, the horizons tional to a person from a different seemed dark. Despair overcame hope. The future of the family, culture than ours. Yet, to us, scrupu- whose father is a devout Torah scholar to numerous talmidum, lousness in these areas is considered a seemed shattered. No one believed there was a future for this Torah ideal. family as the mother spent months in the hospital for aggressive The problem that often arises when and expensive treatments. a religious person becomes obsessed with an observance is that it is hard for As the sun was about to set for this distraught family, a ray of hope others to convince him that the behav- appeared in the distance. ior is irrational. When such persons ask With immediate funds, the sun may yet rise again. a Rav for advice, the Rav might say,“It’s okay, don’t worry,” but a person suf- Please send your generous, tax-deductible contribution today, to fering from OCD may keep asking, ultimately protect a respectable family living amongst us. “But I forgot to mention this detail, or maybe you misunderstood this point, etc.”This can lead to the Rav, and the petitioner, becoming very frustrated. How, then, can we separate com- Rabbi Yosef S. ElyashevRabbi Matisyahu C. Solomon Rabbi A. Malkiel Kotler pulsion from choice and religious devotion from emotional disturbance? According to the DSM IV Please rush your Tax deductable contributions payable to: (Diagnostic and Statistic Manual for Zichron Moshe Emergency Fund c/o Rabbi Matisyahu Solomon Mental Disorders), obsessive-com- 637 6th Street, Lakewood, New Jersey 08701 pulsive disorder is built upon the pres- ence of two factors: obsessions and

26 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 compulsions. Meaning, the person APPLYING THE KEY CRITERIA regarding someone who was unable must experience recurrent anxiety-pro- to stop worrying, no matter how many voking thoughts (obsessions), which he key question to ask a reli- times he verified that halacha then induce the person to behave in a gious person who is irra- requirements were met, wrote the fol- manner to address these fears (com- Ttionally scrupulous about lowing: pulsions). For example, because a religious matters is: “Are your chum- “Such thinking is a tactic of the person is persistently and irrational- ros enhancing your religious devel- yeitzer hara in order to make obser- ly afraid that robbers will enter his opment or impinging upon it?” vance of the mitzvos so burdensome house (obsession), the person keeps Herein lies the answer. A person that he will eventually, G-d forbid, checking the door to see if it is locked who davens an exceedingly long shirk the yoke of the Torah…. He (compulsion). Or, because the person Shemoneh Esrei may merit the same should realize he will not endure this is afraid of germs (obsession), she keeps Heavenly assistance that allowed the suffering forever because it will washing her hands over and over Chassidim Harishonim to be involved eventually pass, over time. The again (compulsion). in davening for nine hours a day while main point is that he should follow In addition, these behaviors must be still mastering Torah study (as the rulings of rabbinic authorities significantly debilitating, such as caus- described in Gemora Berachos). He, without analyzing their reasons and ing extreme distress or disabling social then, is not suffering from any men- without second-guessing them.” or occupational function. The DSM tal dysfunction. A person who is just (Eitzos Vehadrachos Meyusad Al also requires that the person suffering repeating words over and over again, Michtevei Maran Baal Hakehillos Yaakov, from the disorder acknowledges or rec- however, and feels frustrated and p. 55, Torah Graphic, Monsey, New ognizes at some point that the obses- depressed by this imprisoning ritual, York.) sions or compulsions are excessive or will not grow in his religious obser- Although those who are familiar unreasonable. In other words, if the vance, and is victim of mental illness, with the cognitive behavioral therapy person is irrationally obsessing over not piety. This person needs treatment. techniques that are used to treat OCD some matter, but he or she never feels Along this line of thinking, the may employ a variety of interventions, any distress about it and considers it Steipler Gaon l”xz, asked advice they might find themselves quite com- normal, it is not a diagnosable case of OCD. Technically, the final criterion above would seem to rule out a pious person who engages in what appears to be excessive and irrational rituals. But in practice, such persons may still be suffering from OCD. This is because if a person were worried about a drop of chameitz falling into the reservoir on Pesach, the person might acknowledge that he is unusu- ally obsessed with the matter, and that he wishes he could be freed from his “chumros” (stringencies) so he could live life like others. In addition, the DSM does acknowledge that children may be diagnosed with OCD even if they do not recognize that the obses- sions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable. This is due to a child’s lack of life experience and inability to realize the unreasonableness of certain behaviors. If so, perhaps a person who is under the sway of mistaken inter- pretations of religious law could also be considered as a child1. 1 If you will, this can be a new use for the prin- ciple of “tinok shenishba”!

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 27 fortable with the essence of the n summation, persons suffering prisons. Depending upon personality Steipler’s directives and observations. from OCD can free themselves factors such as motivation, emotional Ifrom their emotional and behavioral flexibility, openness to change, and willingness to tolerate uncertainty and Digest of Meforshim risk, relief can be obtained within a rel- atively short time frame. Successful treat- yjvkl rtb yjvkl ment for OCD requires involvement and l”xz rijla lavms g”hrhm commitment to the therapeutic process. Available at Keep in mind that, as with many ill- LEKUTEI nesses, it is more accurate to think in c/o Yitzchok Rosenberg terms of recovery instead of cure. The 1445 54th Street term “recovery” refers to a process Brooklyn, NY 11219-4228 whereby a person achieves symptom 718-854-6701 relief and improvement in function via 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, an intensive initial therapy, but then con- Megilos, Talmud, and Tehilim. tinues with some form of maintenance Proceeds of sales distributed among to remain symptom free. This may take Ye shivos and used for reprinting of volumes out-of-print the form of participation in ongoing sup- port groups, a regimen of PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME cognitive/behavioral exercises, med- ication,“refresher therapy sessions,”or all of the above. ■ KARKA IN ERETZ YISROEL Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for information Resources: on obtaining cemetery plots in Beth The Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation 203- Shemesh and other locations in Israel. 315-2190 (secular). 011-972-2-656-9427 Relief 718-431-9501 (under Orthodox auspices).

28 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 A Clarification by Rabbi Hal Klestzick Authors at Risk

EDITORIAL INTRODUCTION ity figures.” He underscored, however, that ing that parents need to be in control, there “strict or strong parenting [should be] rea- is a short step for people to interpret this Under the theme “V’chol sonable and flow from the parents’ love for as being controlling,and this almost always, Bonayich…Teaching and Reaching All our their child.” in my experience, backfires.” Moreover, Children,” The Jewish Observer (Sept. ’04) In his accompanying article, Rabbi instilling fear in children can have “trag- featured two articles on parenting: “Parents Orlowek strongly concurred with Rabbi ic effects. The home will not be a secure, at Risk,” by Rabbi Hal Klestzick, and Klestzick’s emphasis on “teaching children… happy place, and while the parents will be “Avoiding the Risks of Unthinking [that] we do not strive for happiness, we feared and (temporarily) obeyed, they will Parenting,” by Rabbi Noach Orlowek. In his strive for goodness; happiness is a natural not be respected.” presentation, Rabbi Klestzick called on par- byproduct of that goodness.” He did, how- The two views may have appeared to be ents to guide their children to seek “good- ever, take exception to Rabbi Klestzick’s more in conflict with each other than they ness rather than happiness.” In addition, he declaring that children need to have “par- actually are. We are offering Rabbi Klestzick advocated that children should be imbued ents in a position of control.” In his words: the opportunity to restate his points, as he with a “fear of violating the will of author- “While Rabbi Klestzick is correct in stat- had wanted them to be understood. N.W.

abbi Orlowek states,“It is truly a parents overcome their own fears of vio- children play tug-of-war well into adult- fearsome matter to write an arti- lating the will of their children, children hood, with devastating and painful Rcle for public perusal, and I pray will never fear violating the will of their consequences for all. I will not be misunderstood.” parents. I would never advocate disciplining Although I prayed for the same Rabbi Orlowek states that “ …chil- through anger. In fact, my entire prem- thing when writing the article “Parents dren will resist an effort to impose on ise is that the frustrations that can trig- at Risk,”at least one of my major points them rules based mostly on fear.” I can ger anger are most effectively prevented appears to have been misunderstood, only imagine how repulsive the image by a relationship void of tug-of-war. We prompting Rabbi Orlowek to take issue the reader must have of an angry, all know as parents and mechanchim that with what he thought I was advocating. harsh, or abusive father who imposes a frustrated parent or teacher will be inef- If someone as experienced and highly such an environment on his twelve- or fective and will not achieve even tem- respected as Rabbi Orlowek had difficulty even fifteen-year-old son. Never would porary compliance. What can be worse with what I thought was clear, then I I suggest that rules should be based most- or more destructive than an angry, inef- stand in fear that others may have also, ly on fear. Nor would I (nor did I) sug- fective parent? To be sure, an angry par- chas v’shalom,misinterpreted my points. gest that a teenager who had not been ent is not ready to show love. Again, as Two issues need to be addressed to raised with the proper respect for par- I stated,“Rebellion is neither caused nor clarify my approach. First, Rabbi ents could be successfully reached exacerbated by strict or strong parent- Orlowek believes that parents should not through imposing rules based on fear. ing as long as it is reasonable and flows be told of the importance of instilling That situation requires a separate dis- from the parents’ love for their child.” children with fear of defying their cussion, which falls outside the scope of Most of what Rabbi Orlowek objects wishes, lest this call for fear be misun- my article. I am talking about how to raise to,I,too, find objectionable. Clearly, I derstood and possibly misused. I had a healthy child and avoid such problems. must be more careful so as not to allow thought that I was clear in cautioning Warmth and deep love best describe such misunderstandings to arise again. against such misuse. Parents, families and the parent-child relationship that I am As Rabbi Orlowek stated, “Most ques- communities are in terrible pain, and promoting. Creating a family environ- tions about a child are pikuach nefesh. need and deserve as much clarity on these ment in which the child at a very young This leaves precious little room for error.” issues as possible. age is afraid to violate the will of the par- Yes, times have changed. But much of Second, Rabbi Orlowek’s emphasis on ent is setting the foundation for sus- that is actually due to the changes we drawing a distinction between the words taining love and warmth. A loving, warm made in our parenting approaches “fear” and “awe” misses the essential and most wonderful rapport can then towards our young children. These point. That is, the problem today is that characterize the teen-parent relationship changes are not the solution, they are the parents are indeed afraid of their chil- that will be built on this foundation. In problem. Love is still essential. Warmth dren, while children often do not fear vio- a home where children never feared vio- and sensitivity are still essential. And so lating the will of their parents. And until lating the will of the parent, parents and is being firm. ■

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 37 Rabbi Pinchos Jung

ell phones have increasingly aside some time to discuss issues that collect their checked item of clothing, pay become a very conspicuous part were crucial to their next move. This was and leave, without sparing her a single Cof our lives. They accompany us to be the make-it-or-break-it as far as word. They were too engrossed in everywhere we go. They are in constant their future was concerned. The young mobile phone conversations to interrupt. use, as though the need to communicate man had his cell phone with him. It rang They would continue talking merrily as with those out of sight is ever present. incessantly, and he picked up his calls. they handed her their ticket… next, the Admittedly, they can be exceedingly He was taken aback when a dejected money… and then took their garment useful: informing Yankele on his way to young woman said to him, “Well, it’s with the change and rushed out. All this JFK that Tatty’s flight was delayed; was accomplished during an exchange arranging for Mr. Rubin to meet Mrs. with someone on the other end of town, Rubin at the dentist’s office at noon; and without taking the time to greet or thank so on. They save time, frustration, and, the person serving them so courteous- as many even outside of Hatzola will ly. This is what they call multi-tasking insist, lives, too. – doing more in less time. But at what Despite all this, they have created at price? least as many problems as they have Having occasionally attempted short solved. They have profoundly impact- learning sessions with people after ed behavior patterns in contemporary tefilla,I discovered that this ubiquitous society, as we become increasingly gadget can be a menace even when not dependent on a previously unknown in use. Often the partners in these mini- convenience. Much as we would feel shiurim just could not achieve the somewhat incomplete without our eye- required level of concentration to make glasses or wristwatch, many now relate the learning meaningful. Why? On the to their hand phone the same way. Baruch table in front of us would sit a little gadg- Hashem we have a Shabbos…. et that was competing for attention with In this climate, it’s probably time to the sefer of our choice. No, it wasn’t ring- step back and evaluate the phenomenon ing – its very presence and the likelihood in a frank and honest way. As long as we that it might suddenly issue a summons, remain the undisputed masters of our and my friend would have no option, as property, including all the gadgets and it were, but to give it priority over the mod cons, we retain some level of con- precious words of Torah, were enough trol. As soon as these devices dominate to unsettle him. So those valuable us, we have lost control. So we now must moments set aside for learning, before challenge ourselves – who is the master running to the office, were lost for no and who the slave? reason of any consequence – only the The computer and its derivatives fall presence of an intruder we ourselves had into the same category. By now, every- invited. one is aware of their usefulness, on the Darshanim and maggidei shiur, one hand, and the alarming dangers they please note. This is how an accomplished present, on the other. professional once reacted to a disturb- In the paragraphs that follow, we will ing shrill ring in the crowd during an attempt to examine the intrusion of the important shiur: “Oh, if that call is for cellular phone into our high-tech, dig- me, please tell him I’m sorry, I’m deliv- ital society, and to assess the effects of ering a shiur right now. No problem – excessive use of this gadget. obvious to me that whatever we I’ll be glad to call him back as soon as planned to discuss today is only of minor I’m done!” CLOSE TO THE DISTANT AND importance to you. So, never mind, but The audience was certainly enter- DISTANT FROM THOSE CLOSE it’s all over!” tained by his humorous reaction, and evidently took the necessary initiative A chassan-and-kalla-to-be had set n keeping with frequent grumbles to avoid a repeat performance. that we hear nowadays are the rec- Things surely get out of hand when Rabbi Pinchos Jung serves as educational direc- ollections of a staff member of a repeated ringing punctuates a chupa, tor of Partners in Torah, as well as Dean of Beth I London Shatnez office, going back delivering a message from the owner that, Rochel School for Girls, in Monsey, NY.His arti- cle, “Is Your Travel Permit Valid?,” appeared in almost ten years ago. She found it deeply “I only came to show my face, but the JO,Jun. ’03. disturbing that people would come to chassan and kalla at their most signifi-

38 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 cant moment don’t mean much to me.” been banned in most public places with, PERSONAL DIGNITY – When the calls are actually answered, the in some instances, heavy fines imposed A RELIC FROM THE PAST? insult becomes simply outrageous…. on offenders. An attorney recently told What are we to say when this behavior me how his was confiscated in court as egard and respect for others was occurs at a levaya? he turned it off (!) because of the dis- dealt with earlier. But we owe Is this a sign of dependence, obses- turbance caused by the muffled buzz Rourselves a reasonable degree of sion, or addiction? as he did so! Why are our shuls regard and respect, too. Have we per- The purpose of these lines is not to immune to the ban? Here is an appeal haps lost sight of the damage we have deny or negate the obvious usefulness to the entire JO readership: Please join done to our own personal dignity by of the cellular phone. The intention is the campaign to free our shuls from this conducting so many of our conversa- to encourage people to maintain a bal- scandalous desecration. Even the lat- tions in public? Even when these ance, rather than becoming dominated est innovation, which replaces the exchanges are not of a strictly private by a gadget that we so easily and ring with a melody, won’t change nature, even if others are anyway instantly can switch off, provided that things! An intrusion is an intrusion, and unable to follow the dialogue, much is the will-power is there. just cannot be tolerated. sacrificed when privacy ceases to exist. The option of Internet access on cell phones exposes users to a frightening new reality. It is hoped that, in view of a heightened public awareness of the Experience Lifetime devastating harm inflicted upon so The of a many by the WWW, this should speak for itself. Now, consider again the wis- For the Bais Yaakov Student dom of the choice of this gadget as a gift An exciting seminary program of learning and guided tours with the for an immature, irresponsible, curious opportunity to contribute to the revival of Jewish life in Ukraine adolescent. BJK (Beth Jacob of Kiev) Seminary PRAY NOW, TALK LATER Under the auspices of he intrusion of cell phones into Rabbi Yaakov Dov Bleich, our shuls has gravely eroded Chief Rabbi of Kiev and Ukraine Tour already fragile mora Mikdash – awe of the Sanctuary. A moment’s Our representative will be visiting the United States within the near future reflection on the implication of this For further information please contact Mrs. Y. Englard common habit should be sufficient to Tel: 718-436-3290 convince even the most liberal mind- ed that this level of laxity is not only unacceptable, it is plainly intolerable. That the holy of holies, the silent Amida, is repeatedly punctuated by the shrill – or symphonic – signal of pocket phones is in itself an insult to the Shechina,which graces our shuls.That some even have the audacity to pick up their calls because they have already con- cluded their silent tefilla should qual- ify as the ultimate insult. Moreover, there is a very real issue of common decency, too. Perhaps the cul- prit davens at a faster pace. But how about his co-mispallelim,who are struggling to concentrate on what they are saying, which is for the benefit of the entire com- munity, including the chronic cell com- municators…. As mentioned, these phones have

The Jewish Observer, November 2004 39 This will eventually have a corrosive goes beyond the principle of dina decent food. Yet, even beggars on the effect on the entire personality, as the demalchusa dina,but is, by definition, street have at least one cell phone. The final traces of refinement and sensitivity a requirement bedinei Torah. As traf- number of phones extant is actually disappear. Be warned that these extra fic laws are enacted to protect human greater than the population total. It is no charges will not show up on your life and property, they apply to all peo- longer a status symbol; it has become a monthly account! ple, at all times, everywhere – no excep- necessity, like bread and milk. (Or is it In Cheshvan 5760, the Badatz of the tions! (See also Minchas Yitzchak,vol. higher up on the list of priorities?) Eida Hachareidis (pre-eminent religious VIII, ch. 148.) Not so many years ago, the phones court in Jerusalem) issued a statement Experts agree that the use of hand- in our homes and public facilities regarding cell phone use during tefilla. free devices, such as clip-on microphones, could cater to all our communication Following a passionate plea to restore are, at best, a partial solution only, as the needs. We lived a full life, and even com- proper conduct to shuls, they added a talking itself distracts drivers, reducing plained that those phones were intrud- further message: “Women should resist their level of concentration on the ers, robbing us of our inner peace, and using these devices in the streets and road. It’s not purely a matter of hands, taking priority over other people and on buses as this is the antithesis of tze- it is largely a matter of the mind…. things awaiting our attention. And nius.Husbands are requested to In Texas last year, a man was there was more than a grain of truth to emphasize the gravity of this prohibi- accused of criminally negligent homi- that claim…. tion.”Surely, our women appreciate that cide because he was on his cell phone Has the contemporary compulsion tzenius is not merely a matter of when his car struck and killed two peo- we have been discussing challenged our length, thickness or color. It is, need- ple. In Australia, Belgium, Germany and sanity? Are we in need of clinics, maybe less to say, a total, all-encompassing Japan, cell phone use is limited to therapy, perhaps even medication, to lifestyle. But people tend to forget them- parked vehicles only. Norway requires nurse us back to our senses? Must we selves – a reminder that should not go car phones to be hands free. establish “obsessive-compulsive cell- amiss…. As is well known, there has been much phone disorder anonymous groups” in discussion as to whether cell phones do every community? Admittedly, this DRIVE NOW… OR PAY LATER or do not present a serious health haz- might not be Klal Yisroel’s most press- ard. It is not our intention to get ing problem at this time, but a problem osition yourself at any intersec- involved in this debate – just another it certainly is. Mentschlichkeit has suf- tion in New York State or point to ponder. fered almost beyond repair, as indicat- Pbeyond, and conduct your own ed. Let’s not be defeatist and passively survey. How many motorists quite hap- FROM INTRUSION TO COMPULSION accept this devastation as an inevitable pily ignore state law, conversing on feature of modern life. Let us undertake hand-held phones while driving? Is retz Yisroel,with its over 200,000 a resolution: “I refuse to have my life there not a major halacha problem here? unemployed, is fighting a daily war dominated by my cell phone. Rather, my Hagaon Rabbi Elyashiv a”jyls report- Efor its very survival, attempting to cell phone will be dominated by my bet- edly stated that one is obligated to fol- meet the needs of an increasing num- ter judgment.” low all traffic laws in all countries. This ber of people who can barely afford Isn’t it at least worth a try? ■ Notworld just cheese a cheese, 3” aworld tradition... cheese 3” Haolam, the most trusted name in Cholov Yisroel Kosher Cheese. A reputationpick earned upthrough 25jan years of 02scrupulous page devotion to 22 quality and kashruth. With 12 delicious varieties. Haolam, a tradition you’ll enjoy keeping.

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40 The Jewish Observer, November 2004 Rabbi Avi Shafran

Such a reaction, in the throes of shock and fear, is not beyond comprehension. But it is deeply misguided all the same. Like many an emotional reflex, it came with time to yield to something more rea- soned and sublime. Confronted with what he chose to perceive as a new real- ity and new challenges, Mr. Reeve decided that a broken neck needn’t yield a broken will. The thought is an urgent one for the wider world these days, when the will- ingness to consider lives unworthy because they lack the “quality” that comes with physical dexterity (or mental acu- ity, or natural freedom from pain) is unfortunately on the upswing. There are, unfortunately, many suf- fering people in the world, and they – or others – may feel that life in a state of illness, dejection or despair is simply here was always a poignant irony thrown from a horse in 1995 and broke not worth the trouble. But when in the fact that someone famed for two vertebrae in his neck. More active, Christopher Reeve found himself in a Tportraying a man with superhu- yes; but fuller, no. hospital bed, paralyzed and despairing, man strength became, in a tragic instant, To be sure, Mr. Reeve’s accident left he chose to live, and to accomplish. utterly dependent on others for his every him setting radically different goals for And even if as public and active a life need. But it’s even more strikingly iron- physical accomplishment, like learning as Mr. Reeve’s after his accident seems, ic that Christopher Reeve’s most for- to operate his wheelchair by puffing into well, superhuman, people often forget midable accomplishments, what he will a tube. But that’s precisely the point: phys- that meaning resides in many different undoubtedly be remembered for above ical movement was no longer how he places, and – more important still – that all else, came after he became a quadri- assessed achievement. His accident had every one of us, in the end, has super plegic. An important and timely message, forced him to realize that life’s meaning powers. that, for a world that seems, increasingly, isn’t measured in miles, nautical, air or What else to call the ability to think, crazily, to define life in terms of agility. otherwise. to believe, to daven,to resolve, to regret, Mr. Reeve, the actor whom the world While he always maintained hope that to love, to forgive? Not one of which apti- associated with the comic book character physical rehabilitation and scientific tudes requires good health or physical Superman, whom he portrayed in a film advances might one day allow him to movement. twenty-five years ago, worked tirelessly again move his limbs, he did not con- No one likes to contemplate his or her for nearly a decade on behalf of the dis- sider even that modest desideratum to final moments in this world. But Chazal abled before he died on October 10. He define his worth. Asked in an interview teach us that, especially faced with the educated the public, raised tens of mil- mere weeks before his death what temptation to do something wrong, it lions of dollars for medical research, would happen if in fact he never walked is a most important thing to do. And it’s wrote two books and inspired millions again, he responded straightforwardly, unlikely that even a well-traveled athlete – including disabled children in Eretz “Then I won’t walk again.”Walking, he who took that wise advice would picture Yisroel on a trip he made last year – with was clearly saying, would be wonderful, himself focused in extremis on ski his example. but it isn’t life. slopes or regattas. What will matter as It’s hard to imagine that the man’s life And yet, in the immediate wake of his he prepares to take his leave will be things would have been fuller had he remained accident, he had felt so hopeless that he considerably less physical. the avid skier, sailor, pilot, scuba diver had seriously contemplated suicide. Which is why our mesorah teaches and equestrian he was before he was There seemed so little possibility that he that every moment of life, no matter its might live a meaningful life that even his “quality,”is infinitely precious. The wider Rabbi Shafran serves as Agudath Israel of own mother, as Mr. Reeve recounted in world needs to recognize and internal- America’s Director of Public Affairs and as the American director of Am Echad, the Agudath his 1998 memoir, urged doctors to ize that truth, but so do we. One Israel-inspired educational outreach effort and remove him from equipment keeping moment of Torah and mitzvos is, liter- media resource. him alive. ally, invaluable. ■

44 The Jewish Observer, November 2004