page 2 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999

• DuPont Canada - Sales/Marketing Assistant Program (Oct 28/99) Dcvelopmenl Program (ASAP- next THE CAREER To be eligible you must: Assistant (Dec. 10 in CES!) Fisheries and Oceans-Cdn. Coasl intakes in Jan. and Apr. 2000) RESOURCES MacKenzie Municipal Services Agency ft Cyanamid Canada Inc. - Summer 1. Be a full-time secondary or post-sec­ Guard. Search & Rescue Inshore CENTRE IS - Planning Manager (Nov 19) Field Research Assistant (Jan. 10 in ondary student in an accredited institu­ Rescue Boat Program (Nov 10/99) YOUR CAREER Multimedia Production Artist (ASAP) CES!) tion; Department of Justice - Law Program CONNECTION... Sovereign General Insurance Company ft Zeneca Agro - Customer Service 2. Be currently recognized as having (Oct 27/99) Surety Underwriter Trainee (Nov 19) Interns, Territory Sales Assistants. full-lime student status by the academic Revenue Canada - Student Customs Product Service Interns. Field institution in which you arc presently Officer Program (Oct 28/99) CIBC - Student and Internship JOBS...JOBS...JOBS Initiatives. Career Areas include Development Interns (Jan 7 in CES!) Welcome to Jobs...Jobs...Jobs... This enrolled; Revenue Canada - Information 3. Be returning to full-time studies in Technology Branch Studenl Program Relational Sales & Marketing. Call segment of Career Connections will Centre. Iutra-Branch Banking. provide you with a brief listing of some the next academic term; (Feb 2000) PART-TIME 4. Be the minimum age to work in the Human Resource Development. Hire- Resource Centre. Wood Gundy, of the jobs (with deadlines) currently Galbraith Elementary School - Lunch province or territory where the job A-Student- Summer Employment Commercial Banking available through the Career Resources Hour Program (Nov 29) exists Officer and Senior Summer Experience Canada Accounting; Centre. For details on the application Marketing. Human Resources (these The Boys & Girls Club of Lethbridge • process, consult the job boards located Employment Officers (Oct 12/99) are a few of the immediate require­ Youth Worker (Nov 26) across from the Fresh Express in C sec­ There is no deadline for applying to the Industry Canada. Communications ments available through this govern­ UofL-Lifeguards (Nov 19) tion of University Hall. general inventor)'. However, certain Research Centre - Undergraduate and departments hire students earlier than Graduate Research Affiliate Program ment program) Southern Alberta Community Living others. In the case of departmental pro­ (Oct 12/99) State Farm Insurance-Underwriting Association - Clerical Assistant (Nov 23) SUMMER (No...it's never too grams, some departments may begin Agriculture ct Agri-food - Trainee; Claims Trainee; Management Maple Leaf Potatoes - Clean-up early to think about next summer!!) accessing the inventory as early as Undergraduate & Graduate Research Development Trainee (ASAP) Personnel (ASAP) ft Bayshore Inn/Waterton Glacier October 12th. Pick up an application Affiliates (Oct 29/99) Due West Student Painting-Managers Clearnet, Calgary area-Kiosk Suites-Front Desk Clerks; Night Audit; form in CES and check out the follow­ Citizenship & Immigration Canada- (ASAP) Representatives (ASAP) Bartenders; Bus People; Servers; ing departmental programs: Aboriginal Summer Studenl Cooks; Kitchen Help; Housekeeping; Employment (Oct 12/99) ft On-Campus Recruiting (OCR) con­ Casino Lethbridge-various (ASAP) Gift Shop Clerks; Grounds Keepers; (In most cases the dates indicate the Human Resource Development - tinues!!! Drake International -Telemarketers Maintenance earliest that a program will access the Aboriginal Student Internship Program OCR is the process where employers (Dee I) farm Labourer (ASAP) 4 Hire A Student, Central AB- National Inventory for qualified appli­ (Oct 12/99) recruit U of Lstudents and alumni. Tutor Needed (ASAP) Summer Employment Officer SEO cants.) Public Works and Government Career & Employment Services facili­ Opokaa'sin Early Intervention Society (FSWEP) Services-Aboriginal Summer Students tates the hiring process for summer and Veterans Affairs - Summer Student Program (Mar 2/2000) new grail recruiting,b y posting posi­ Youth Workers (ASAP) ***Great Summer Experience!!! Work Guide Program- Vimy. France (Nov tions, gathering resumes and schedul­ at a camp in Massachusetts!*** 30/99) ing interviews. If vou wish to partici­ Camp Winadu for Boys and Camp Veterans Affairs - Employment Equity FULL-TIME pate in OCR you MUST REGISTER at JAPAN EXCHANGE Danbee for Girls - Sports Camp Student Program (Oct 99) Enterprise Rent-A-Car - Management Career & Employment Services (D6I0) AND TEACHING Information Session Canadian Heritage. Parks Canada - Trainees in Calgary and Medicine Hat ASAP. Friday. Nov. 26, 11 am - 2pm Young Canada Works in Natl. Parks (Dec 31) PROGRAMME (JET) and Historic Sites (May I/2000) Langara College - Associate Co-op Wc will continue to receive postings for University Boardroom (W646) The JET Programme i.s based upon Rideau Hall's Visitor Services & Officer - Employer Development (Nov full-time new grad positions and the Complete presentations run at: I lam. intensifying foreign language education Interpretation Program - Guides- 19) push will come in the next few months Noon, and lpm (feel free to just drop in Japan and upon promoting interna­ Interpreters (Jan 14/2IXX)) Crowsnest Museum - Operations for summer students. Watch the OCR by as well) tional exchange at the local level. If National Resources Canada. Earth Manager (Nov 26) Job Board along wilh the regular sum­ SEE ON-CAMPUS RECRUITING you are a Canadian citizen who will Sciences Sector-Student Assistants Clarity - Developer (ASAP) mer board for postings! You could have (OCR) BELOW FOR MORE SUM­ hold a Bachelor's degree by June 2(XK), (Mar I/2000) Novartis Crop Protection Canada Inc. - a pennanent or summer job contract MER JOBS! you may be eligible to participate in Office of the Auditor General of Alberta Territory Manager: degree in signed and sealed before the snow (lies! this program. Those invited lo Japan a.s Canada-Audit Trainees (Feb 18/2000) Ag or Science: Assistant Territory Don't delay! To participate, register in participants will be engaged in local Finance Canada - Tax Policy Representatives: contracts from Jan 3rd Career & Employment Services FSWEP HAS ARRIVED!!!! schools as Assistant Language Researchers (Mar 1/2000) to Aug. 26th. Ag degree preferred. (D610). Ask Diane or Pat for more Applications arc now being accepted!! Teachers. Positions for Coordinators Health Canada - Research Assistant (Nov 19) information. Some ofthe linns recruit­ for International Relations are available (Oct 12/2000) Dow AgroScicnces - Intern positions ing on-campus (with their deadlines) The Federal Student Work Experience for those with a functional command of Public Works and Gov't Services, (ASAP) include: Program is a national inventory of full- thc Japanese Language. DEADLINE: Translation Bureau - Translators (Dec AB Learning - Management Advisor time students who have applied for November 26, 1999. employment with Federal Government 10/99) Trainee (Nov 19) ft Advanta Seeds - Breeder Seed Departments. National Defense - Defense Research United Grain Growers - Management Assistant (Jan 7, 2000 in CES!)

mo nday truesday wed nesday thu rsday frlday satu rday Sunday "V"™1HI «3E'""jfi»fr CIB "How You Can Assist the U of L Men's Hockey team U of L Men's Hockey team Winter's coming Addicted Person" plays U of R at 7:00pm at plays U of R at 7:00pm at Join the Helen Schuler In the Public Library at Nicholas Sheran Arena. Nicholas Sheran Arena. Coulee Centre at 2pm for 12:01pm. Call AADAC at Be therein Don't miss itlll this Sunday Nature Walk. 381-5183 to register. Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 9-11am& 2-4pm 10am-2pm 11am-3pm

c nine tu the University "I itaow Tliis Mjcii is True" by Pronghorn Basketball team Pronghorn Basketball team l heatre at 8pm to watch Wally larta will play UBC again in the U will play UBC again in the U Book Discussion Qi aufp of L Gym Women's @ of L Gym Womc Peter Pan 7:3Cfcm iri the RMic Library. 6:30pm and Men's 6:30pm and Men's runs til the 27th @8:15pm. @8:15pm. Be therein Come and join the funlll Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 9-12noon & 2-5pm 9-12pm, 1-4pm & 7-9pm 9-11am,12-4pm & 5-7pm 9-12pm, 1-5pm & 7-9pm 9-12pm & 1-3pm Writing Services SU170 10-2pm 11-3pm

U of L Women's Ho< I , U of I Women's Hockey team plays U of A at team plays U of A again 7:00pm in Nicholas SI / 00pm in Nicholas Sheran Arena. Arena Don't miss (till Don't miss itlll Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SU170 Writing Services SIM /() Writing Services SU170 9-11am,12-3pm & 4-6pm 9-12pm,1-4pm & 7-9pm 9-12pm,1-5pm& 7-9pm 9-11am,12-4pm & 5-7pm Writing Services SU170 9-11am & l2-4pm 10-2pm 11-3pm The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 3

How to kill your brain by Douglas Lamb your article, haven't they?) ducers tack on quick-fix solu­ for mankind. Unfortunately, bis estiality problems. Ha ha! Talk shows are today's equiv­ tions. This pathetic attempt to is not (he lone show wallowing Isn't life great when you're he only lime I have ever alent ofthe traveling freak display some sort of morality is in the sludge of society. stinking rich! Well thank you walked out ofa movie show, available to you 24 hours the biggest farce of these Springer is joined by "Maury". Mr. & Mrs. Celebrity! Your T in disgust was a day thanks to cable TV. The shows. Does anyone truly "Mantel", "Jenny Jones" and, contributions to the betterment "Ringmaster", tbe Jerry only difference is that our believe that Jerry's "Final in a past life, "Donahue", of mankind will long be Springer vehicle from a year or social conscience demands that Thoughts" has ever helped a "Sally-Jesse Raphael". "Ricki remembered, or until your show so back. It is possibly tbe we help these poor people single guest or audience mem­ Lake", and the chair-throwing is yanked because the afternoon worst movie ever made (I resolve their drugAveight/alco- ber? When was the last time imbecile who arguably started freak show is getting belter rat­ include all of Steven Seagal's hol/sex/racist/bcstiality prob­ you watched thc show and this descent into depravity, ings. work in tbat statement). I even lems, whereas in yesteryear the thought: "By God! I'm never "Geraldo Rivera". Now, fellow student, let it demanded my $1.50 back from bearded lady went on being the going to sleep with my ex's sis­ And don't even think for a never be said that my articles the Movie Mill: it was that bad. bearded lady. By highlighting ter without telling her I'm a gay second thai other talk shows, are not informative. Too many It wasn't the poor acting or dia­ the deviance and negative stripper again!! Thanks Jerry!" like thc "Rosie O'Donnell people arc content to bitch logue, (imagine "Days of Our aspects of Western society, And. how effective is sending Show", "Oprah" or even the about the ills of society without Lives" set in a trailer park), these shows do nothing to solve teens lo boot camp to solve "Tonight Show with Jay Lena", ever offering a solution. While I which turned my stomach. It the problem, and actually rein­ their problems (a.k.a. the don't also contribute to the am not saying that the solutions was thc sincere idea that all of force them by providing a "Maury" solution)? How about decline of North American soci­ given within these pages arc the society's problems can be showcase. However, like a ear getting them parents who ety. Whereas the daytime talk only ones, they are nonetheless solved by talk shows and, that wreck, we can't help but stare. would actually parent instead of shows showcase "average" peo­ better than anything you will if you view tlie guests on these These shows allow us to point taking them on a nationally- ple with bizarre lives, these find on television, or in orga­ shows as abhorrent, it follows and laugh from the comfort of televised circus looking for shows depend on a steady diet nized religion. How then to that you are a rich, elitist snob. our own glass houses. Freak help? of bi/arre celebrity lives. They stop this cultural decline? Turn Let me share a little secret with after freak is paraded before the The most obvious smut-ped­ feature millionaire hosts, pre­ off the TV. Your brain will you my friends: Ifyou think cameras and left on stage to see dler is the "Jerry Springer tending to be close friends with thank you for it. (Ent. Ed. Note: that talk shows benefit society who will make the biggest ass Show", yet if his was the only their millionaire guests while Do you have any thoughts in any way, you are an idiot. No of themself. Then, to alleviate show sinking to the lowest making fun of other million­ about the WWF ?) offense. (Ent. Ed. Note: our shameful guilt from laugh­ common denominator then aires because of their They've given you a topic for ing at these deviants, the pro­ there still might be some hope drugAveight/alcohol/sex/racist/b The Meliorist in Cslcjary by Rebecca Cairns wrapped up with a forma News Writer banquet in which The Meliorist staff let ovember l 1-I4, the staff oi' 'The their hair down a.s Meliorist was in Calgary at the the beer flowed. "Issues '99 Conference" hosted by All in all. thc con­ An aii(onions body, separate from the U of L Student's Union N ference was a The Gauntlet. The conference focussed on sev­ SV -166, 4401 University Drive West, Uthbridge, AB T1K 3M4 success and we meliorism • n. (L melior, better) eral lectures on various operating and editorial have all learned The belief that the world natu­ subjects. The highlights were lectures by CBC rally tends to get better and that Newsworld reporters, Terry Milewski and Anne new ways to this tendency can be furthered Pelrie. Most interesting was a lecture by The bring a better by human effort. Globe and Mail foreign correspondant, Jan paper to you, the The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Wong, who focused on her experience covering students oi' the Lethbridge, published most Thursdays throughout the academic year ihe massacre in Tiananmen Square. David University oi' by The Meliorist Publishing Society, an autonomous incorporated Rutherford had a lew controversial comments Lethbridge. body. Ed. Note: It's about Please address ail correspondence to The Meliorist, 4401 University to share, although they were not well recieved Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta, TtK 3M4, or drop it off at room SU-166. by some members of the staff. The conference time... Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone number Is (403) 329-2333 or 329-2334. The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters. However, The Meliorist will only consider for The publication those letters which are signed by the author (special International Centre arrangements may be made tor those wishing anonymity, but University of absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, !) Lethbridge address, telephone number and student identification number For Students (address, I.D. and phone number not for publication). Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legality. The Meliorist reserves the right to edit submissions and will not print We need Conversation Partners!! libelous material. Editor-in-Chief Daniel "Felcher" Clark For more information, or to Business Manager Robert "The Tongue" Zagorsky Help yourself earn Copy Editor Jon "Quivering QulnV'Koch sign up please come to SU140B. News Editor Lindsey "Greased Chicken" Thurston an 'A' Sports Editor Michael "The Urlnator" Lawson Photo Editor Piotr "Red Light"F»ltpek Entertainment Editor Rob "Meter Maid" Brown Come to Writing Production Manager "Millennium" Mick Pariseau Do you need to meet the Writing Services Typesetter Elaine "I Wasn't There" Costeira Distribution Manager Michelle "I Was With Elaine" Heikoop Proficiency Requirement? SU170. Production Assistant Jason "Sniffer's Row" Colby Ad Manager Jeremy "Baby-Back Ribs" Paulson The AUWCT test date is coming! Writers: Paul Whishaw (Sports), th Kim "Spits" Morison (Ent.), Douglas Lamb, Katie Shaw (News), Information Session Wed. Nov. 17 from 12-12:50 pm in TH201 Rebecca Cairns (News), James Robinson (Ent.), Andy Chan (Sports) th The Phantom Monkey & Jim The Corporate Asshole Test Session Thurs. Nov. 18 from 6:30-9:00 pm in PE252 Come and sign up in SU140. This Issue brought to you by: Opera Singers and the Magic ol Mozart in their voices.Jovely, breathtaking.. The costumes kicked ass too! 11 The Meliorist extends it's apologies to Id We ran the wrong ad in last weeks issue, so please disregard that information. page 4 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999

WhatVP Why are we so ignorant? Why university students need to take control of their decisions & evaluate the potential does for consequences by Katie Shaw News Writer

you... lthough Lethbridge is a relatively small city, this does not mean that university students should be less careful regarding their safety - especially women. It is b\ Rebecca Cairns oi the Test Bank and update it. He A important that all university students be cautious and aware of possibly unsafe News Writer begs students to bring in their old tests. situations. For example, many students who come to the University of Lethbridge are "The Test Bank is only as good as we from surrounding towns, and are relatively trusting ol people. Viewing Lethbridge as make it." an average, quaint, small university town only perpetuates a false sense of security and yndon Simmons, Student's Recently, Simmons went to visit the adds to ignorance. Union VP Academic, was oul ol Minister of Education to discuss lower­ Many university students participate in dating and do nol consider safer ways lo do L town at a conlerence in New ing tuition costs. so. For example, il is very dangerous to go on a date with someone in non-public Brunswick last week but wanted the "The Minister of Education ha.s his places - especially ifyou have just met. Another issue to address is where you will opportunity to let students know what own agenda." He is not interested in meet. It is really nice to have someone pick you up, but ask yourself ifyou know this they should go to him for. lowering tuition to give the wealth)' a person well enough to be getting into a car wilh them, alone? You are pulling yourself "The more students know about the better ride but is working to alleviate in a risky situation. However, ifyou do choose to gel picked up, make sure someone Students' Union the belter as far as I'm debt pressure on financial aid assisted knows where you are going and what time you should be expected home. This may concerned." Simmons comments, "I students and working with universities sound like a lecture but, be practical about your decisions and make responsible choic­ am a resource person for people look­ to improve bursary and scholarship es. No longer can you rely on your parents or guardians as your look-out; you are an ing for academic grade appeals and quality. Simmons says. university studenl and you have no one to answer to but yourself. grievance information." Look for the SU's presentation of Another option is group dating and meeting in public places. Group dating may have Simmons i.s in charge of staffing acad­ Knowlton Nash coming November IS. been instilled in us during our teenage years, why not use it to our advantage now? emic committees. These range from Tickets are only $l at the service cen­ Taking a friend with you may seem strange at First, but it enables people to get to know committees as large as the General ter. one another without placing themselves in a dangerous situation. Meeting in public Faculties Council to the smallest com­ places is another valuable alternative. Public places such as restaurants, parks (in day­ mittees. These committees form the light), and movie theatres, ensure that there are other people around in case you feel basis for how anything gets done in the uncomfortable. University. They are open to everyone These ideas seem so basic and simple, yet are rarely used by university students. and Simmons stressed the importance Why is that? Perhaps it is because we all feel that, since we are growing up, surely our oi' studenl attendance. decisions will be more responsible and less risky. Or perhaps it is our ignorance which "All the committees arc so intercon­ drives us to create a false sense of security. No matter how small Lethbridge may seem nected, you have to go to all oi them to in comparison to other cities, it is still a city. Along with every city comes the prospect understand what is going on." of something inconceivable occurring. Small town mentalities only lead to carelessness One ofthe issues Lyndon is tackling on thc part of many university students who do not use thc services available to them. this year is awareness about provincial Take tbe Safe Walk program the University has. It is not thc best idea to walk to your politics: funding for post-secondary car alone at eleven o'clock at night. So, why do we do it? Are we embarrassed lo call education and the extra 25.000 stu­ Safe Walk'! Or, do we not know it exists? There are posters everywhere detailing the dents, the Echo Generation, who are program and how students may use it to their advantage. Safe Walk is a free service entering university in Alberta. which gives students the opportunity to get safely from point A to B. Even walking up Simmons is also tackling the quality the hill late at night should nol be considered. How does anyone know who could be and cost of education. out walking at that time of night? And who is to say that they go to thc University just "We don't want to see the quality of Photo by F-poIr Filipek like you? education suffer and it is." Many students may regard these suggestions as a type of paranoia. However, date He is working to improve the quality rape statistics are highly inaccurate because studies have shown that only 1 in 15 cases arc reported. Date rape occurs, and university students should be aware and conscious of that when making decisions. The question of "what if" is always a daunting one to address, but ifyou don'l, you could really regret nol taking just a few extra minutes and planning a safer night or day. In ihe end, you - thc university student -and no one but The Perfect Birthday Present! you make the choice. Looking for the ideal gift this season (or for any occasion)? Got less than fifty bucks to spend? t has been brought to my attention that some Uim the How about a DISCOVERY FLIGHT in one of our googly-eyed Waldo look-alike has been CcHjDorafte immaculate aircraft! Icriticizing the "style" of the Meliorist. /Xsstiole sez.. $40 .00 + GST Therefore, the staff of the paper have asked me, includes Jim the Corporate Asshole, to deal with their - Ground Briefing concerns. Seeing as how I could give a flying - Demonstration of Pre-Flight Inspection monkey shit about what he really thinks, here is Flight in Aircraft of Their Choice - some restrictions may apply what I think... - They Get to FLY THE AIRCRAFT - Post-Flight Debriefing - Qualifies Toward Their Pilot's License I think CKUL should be gutted out, and its DJs - A Handsome Gift Certificate sold as cheap labour and roofing materials for LINC. This means you too, rebel without a clue. L.IX. FLIGHT CENTER LTD. (403) 327-3380 (How's that for rhyming, asshole?) LETHBRIDGE Remember, FLYING ". CENTER Up with the Man!!! news The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 5 Peer Support Referral Centre open for business by Lindsey Thurston thai don't know where to go." studenl concerns ranging from able to sec that I've helped some­ News Editor - The Peer Support Referral The PSRC gives students an simple directions around campus body." Centre Mandate opportunity to talk to other stu­ to housing issues to relationship Ruston speculates lhal maybe "The Peer Support Referral dents about concerns. problems. Staff thai has been some students might be appre­ Centre exists for the purpose of he Peer Support Referral "Anything they'd |students| with PSRC for a year or longer hensive about coming into thc helping students with personal, Centre (PSRC) ha.s been rather talk to a student first receive training to handle many Peer Support Referral Centre. social, economic', and academic T serving the University of about." Ruston said. "It's almost different situations. Ruston ha.s "Perhaps there is a stigma that issues. Upon request, we are Lethbridge since 1994. As like talking to someone on the been with the Peer Support we only deal with personal issues willing and able to listen, provide Martina Ruslon. employee for same level as you, instead of Referral Centre since 1995 and instead of everything... I'd like il options, and refer students on the PSRC, says: "Basically, we're higher than you...we receive continues to enjoy her position | PSRC| to be used more by stu­ and off campus." here to be a resource for students Iraining and weekly workshops with them. dents...if it's not. it might not be on issues such as stress manage­ "I just wanted to be able to help here anymore and that would be ment, conflict resolution..." other students in any way I can. unfortunate." Ruston concludes. They deal with many different I think it's really useful...being

for mayor of job Source: The Ubyssey led him lo include in his platform (University of British Columbia) a safe walk program to and from by Michelle Mossop Skytrain stations. "I am very much for real, Vancouver (CUP) - cvery-day issues, especially poverty, affordable student hous­ University of British ing," he said. "I feel that a lot of Columbia student is try­ students, a lot of people in gener­ A ing to become mayor of al don't know very much about Vancouver in this month's civic Vancouver civic politics, and elections. Court Caldwell, who how a difference can be made in wants to change to way of civic these areas." politics are done in tbe city, In fact, Caldwell feels so Phiilu by PicXr Filipak decided to run for tbe position of strongly of these issues he is Peer Support Referral Centre staff. Mayor after attending a willing to donate 50 per cent of Vancouver city council meeting his income as Mayor each year - last summer. an estimated $ I ()().()()() - to chari­ He saw what he perceived as a ties preventing youth from living lack of fervour on the part of the on the streets. He ha.s already mayor and city councilors, as shown his commitment by pay­ meetings often ended early so ing the $100 deposit required to council members could have an run in the election. But, extended lunch or go home early. Caldwell admits, campaigning He also saw a narrow range of has been a challenge. Without opinions in the Non-Partisan the six-figure campaign funds Alliance (NPA)-dominated coun­ that most oi' his competitors cil. have, Caldwell has to rely on "The NPA has every single seat volunteers, low-budget posters on the council, the school board and word oi' mouth. He is target­ and thc parks board," said ing a.s many students as possible. Caldwell, a third-year English "I don't think I will appeal to studenl in his first year at UBC the conservative upper-class, but since transferring from Douglas when I was looking at the statis­ College. tics, if I got the majority of stu­ "They say that this is okay dcnls, people who can't relate to because they are such a loosely- mainstream politics, people who organized party, and anybody of are labelled fringe', I think I can any political philosophy can be reach to them," he said. involved. But if we a have a Caldwell has ten competitors in one-party system is this really thc mayoral race, including cur­ democracy at work?" rent mayor Philip Owen, on the Caldwell finds the current NPA slate, and David Cadman, council's apparent focus on "big leader ol' the Committee of money issues", which seem to Progressive Electors (COPE). cater only lo the business upper- But his rivals seem unaware of crust, very disconcerting. his presence in city politics. "We need to keep in mind the "We don't know who he i.s. I ONE CONVENIENT NUMBER! issues which affect the lives oi' don't think anyone knows who all Vancouverites, not just the he is," said Grant Longhurst, business aspect," be said. Campaign Manager for the NPA. "Issues like crime, shelter, home­ But he gives Caldwell credit for lessness and things like that arc balancing politics with a heavy important, if not more." course load. "I hope he stays Caldwell promises that, it elect­ involved no matter what hap­ 310-0001 ed, these issues will come lo the pens, because there are a lot oi' forefront of civic politics. committees and a lot ol commu­ West Towne Centre Caldwell lives in Last nity and neighbourhood groups #12 - 550 University Drive, LETHBRIDGE Vancouver and has been mugged that have direct input to city Hours: Sun. \ Hoi. 4pm - I lpm; Mon. - Thurs. 4pm - Midnight; twice. These experiences have business," he said. Fri. & Sat. 4pm - lam page 6 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999

WHATS HAPPENING » THE ZOO NEUPOTIC NOVEMBER University of Lethbridge MONDAY THURSDAY Students' Union Presents Monday Night Football Thursday Is Thirstday £W0£IJ4/# . Free Football Pool For Prizes Something New At The Zoo

Hottest Hip Hop Show To Ever Hit Southern Alberta Double Geoparty Plus THURS. NOV 25 Place: The Zoo Tickets: Students $10.00 Have You Played The Plus? Sessions Start at 9 p.m. Non Student $14.00 Door $16.00 Starts At 9 p.m. And End At 12 p.m.

WHAT THE SU IS DOING n 1. The President, the VP of Administration, and the (Full-time students only) VP of Internal attended fee review committee meeting & Derttal Office, SU f 7^ to discuss fee proposals S:30 - f sOO with the university Mus* Show Student ID administration. 6 ) 2. The President laid a wreath at the Remembrance Day Ceremonies.

3. The President and VP NEW CREDIT CARD POLICY IS POSTED of Administration hired a new Station Manager for CKUL news The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 7

sweat in our own

Source: The Varsity (University subcontractors employ a number decent conditions," declared The garment industry operates to play a leadership role in of Toronto) of strategics to keep wages low. Anderson. within a long chain of produc­ adopting thc first code of con­ by Petty Bo/onelos Contractors are not clear on the Alex Dagg, manager of UNITE, tion, and it becomes very diffi­ duct in Canada," said Thomson. piece rate. It is a varied industry explains how homeworkers' cult to detect where the viola­ He adds his group is particular­ TORONTO (CUP) - and it is hard to generalize, but rights are routinely being violat­ tions arc being made, especially ly critical ofthe university's thc conditions applied to all thc ed. when there is a lot of blame Vice-President (Development workers are substandard." "We arc finding routine viola­ shifting going on. The retailers and University Affaris) Jon ultimately control the garment Dcllandrea's. who Thomson says • Jj or most Canadians, (he Ng tells mc that although many tions of the Employment industry - they are thc one's that ha.s been inactive on the issue. word sweatshop con- of the women know they are in a Standard Act by contractors and call the shots, and thc maximum Dcllandrea was in San Jose on JL. jures up images of fac­ bad situation, they feel that they subcontractors," she explained profit goes to them. Those at the business and could not be tories in developing countries have few options. "These workers are not being bottom of thc reached for comment. But where women arc paid pennies a "These women know very well paid the guaranteed minimum Barbara Dick, associate director day to work in tiny, hot rooms. that they are being exploited," wage plus the 10 per cent chain, thc seamstresses, end up of Alumni Relations and speak­ Windows are painted over, the she said. "But the major reason increase, because they arc work­ being exploited. UNITE hopes ing on behalf of thc U of T air is stiflingly hot and the work why these women work at home ing at home. None of them that legal liability will force administration, recognizes sweat­ is tedious. But what most of us is because there is no affordable receive 4 per cent vacation pay, retailers to take responsibility shops are a growing national don't know, or refuse to acknowl­ childcare facility. If they work, and none of thc homeworkers we "If your name is on it, then you and global concern. She main­ edge, is that similar sweatshop most likely it will be a minimum had interviewed ever received arc responsible for how it is tains, however, that time is need­ conditions are found right here in wage job, and childcare will cost overtime pay." made!" Dagg insisted. ed to deliberate on the issue. Canada, in places like Toronto. more than their salary. But if UNITE has made two impor­ Students are also getting The image of Canada as thc "true they do file a charge against their tant recommendations to the fed­ involved in the anti-sweatshop "I suppose with any new policy, north strong and free" docs not contractors they lose their jobs at eral government. First, it battle. The University of senior leadership has the respon­ hold true in regards to our con­ home." demanded that Human Resources Toronto's own action group, sibility to thoroughly consider tinued exploitation of immigrant Lack of legal protection is one Development Canada be "pro­ Students Against Sweatshops it," Dick said. "[But] it is not garment workers. ofthe many hurdles that active" md go to the companies (SAS), was formed in the fall of surprising that it is taking time. It Canadian homeworkers face. and investigate rather than wait­ I998. Ian Thomson, one ofthe is the responsible and reasonable "It's often assumed that sweat­ ing for complaints to come for­ organizers, explains the goals of thing to do." shop operations and homework- "These women have no protec­ ward. Second, UNITE recom­ the group. ing are a third world phenome­ tion," said Ng. "We don't have a Dcllandrea was more emphatic mends that HRDC allow anony­ non," Roxanna Ng, an anti- good system in which the "We want U of T to take when he spoke with The Varsity, mous complaints, in order to sweatshop activist, told a press Ministry of Labour can inspect responsibility for the way its the largest campus paper at U of encourage immigrant women to conference this past summer. and monitor the working condi­ clothing is being made," T, last July. come forward and voice them­ "When in fact garment workers tions of factory and home work­ Thomson said. "I myself would feel very selves. around thc world face similar ers. If these workers will union­ SAS recently presented a draft uncomfortable wearing things "There is not very much protec­ predicaments." ize then the union will play a of a code of conduct to U of T's made in a repressive work envi­ part in this role of enforcing the tion under the present Governing Council. The draft i.s ronment," he declared. Roxana Ng's report on home labour laws." Employment Standard Act," based on the ILO's labour stan­ But while he was clear on how sweatshops sent shock waves Unionizing homeworkers is one warned Dagg. "It is a basic stan­ dards that apply to factories and he felt, he was less clear about throughout Canada when it was of the many goals of the Union dard and does not guarantee homeworkers all over thc world, what, if anything, should be released this past June. Ng of Needletrades, Industrial and these women's jobs if they file a such as living wages, safe work­ done. argues that an overwhelming Textile Employees (UNITE). complaint." ing conditions, and the right to "How do you consistently eval­ majority of women in the gar­ UNITE was formed in 1995 form a union. The draft code also uate a manufacturer over 14,000 ment industry work under sub­ In 1996, the International through the merger of the demands the disclosure of facto­ kilometres away?" he asked. standard conditions, especially Labour Organization (ILO) Amalgamated Clothing and ry locations. Currently the Some critics believe this is a those that eke out their living at passed a convention on home- Textile Workers Union and the sources of U of T clothing are valid question when the evidence home. workers that declared they had International Ladies Garment the right to organize and set kept secret. shows we are unable to evaluate "All ofthe 30 women I inter­ Workers Union. UNITE repre­ international "We demand that they tell us in manufacturers in our own back­ viewed were Chinese immigrants sents 30,000 workers in Canada standards on decent working which factories U of T clothes yard. who worked below thc standards and over 250,000 workers inter­ conditions. Although Canada are being made," said Thomson. provided by the Employment nationally. Barb Anderson, a co­ was present at the meeting, it did "No more secrets! The code Standard Act, and anybody's ordinator of UNITE, describes a not ratify this convention demands that the factory location working conditions that do not number of strategies the organi­ because Ottawa said it dealt with must be made meet up to these standards arc zation is using to act against provincial jurisdiction. public." illegal," Ng affirmed in an inter­ sweatshops at home and abroad. view. "Even though these standards The code of "We need lo raise the public are passed there is limited effec­ conduct is in One worker, who appeared with awareness of sweatshop condi­ tiveness if countries do not adopt thc midst of Ng at thc June press conference, tions in Canada and globally, and them," said Dagg. "How do you being chose to remain nameless out of ask ourselves what are we strengthen international working reviewed by fear of repercussions for describ­ importing into Canada and what standards if each country acts UofT ing her working are we selling?" she said. "Are independently?" administra­ conditions. She was earning $3-4 we condoning abuses in garment Another strategy UNITE sug­ tion. It will Jim the per hour and working six hours Corporate and footwear industries in gests is to place pressure on the then he pre­ Ass/rote sez. per day to support herself and Canada and off-shore produc­ manufacturers and retailers. sented to the her four-year-old child. Ng says tion?" "Those who own the label, or Governing that one of the key problems Last May, the federal govern­ who own ihe rights to the prod­ Council meet­ with the garment industry is that ment convened a task force and uct that is being made should be ing for possi­ employment contracts are not appointed former Liberal MP made liable and equally respon­ ble ratifica­ written in stone. It is a piece­ John English to bring together sible for the working conditions tion. work business where the seam­ civil society groups along wilh Under which it is being made." "We'd like stress gels paid according to each retailers and manufacturers to try Dagg asserted, lo see I' oi ' piece, i.e. a sleeve or a collar, lo develop a Canadian code of that is completed. Theoretically, conduct, Since then, the Task the faster one sews the more Force has been engaged in draft­ pieces one can accomplish by ihe ing a code lhal sets oul basic hour, ami hence the greater the working standards as well as a salary. The reality is quite differ­ wa) io monitor compliance. ent. "Both the government ami ihe "ll is difficult to calculate an G-fm/ioi) retailers have a responsibility in hourl) rale because salar) is ensuring that seamstresses in the determined In each piei c that is factory and the homework under done," said Ng. "Employers and page 8 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999

question of the week /T^V Riotr Fili]?c'k & Kim Morison Since the University of Lethbridge is already operating at 120%, should the University continue to increase enrollment?

The Phantom Andy Chan Dave Duncan Nicole Martin Christina Olofson Monkey No just because our Doesn't bother me. No I don't think so. Class / don't think so, it's known Hey chiquita, resources are tight, I don't care. size is good now, it to be a small university. like I give a rip, classrooms are barely big 1 year General Studies. doesn't need to be bigger. The classes are small, I'll still have the biggest enough to hold the class Parking is already a professors know you banana on campus. size anyway. Don't problem. name. If it gets bigger it 5th year increase enrollment until 1 year Math Major. will lose its reputation for Janitorial Studies we increase our that. resources. 1 year Ba/BSC 4th year Management/M IS. Vie entertainment notebc^ok

You Only Live Twice Live and U't Die with big effects. British biography - Science lietion makes its first appear­ Roger Moore deserves credit for not ance in a Bond film. Blofeld's plan is to imitating Connery and making the char­ Never Say Never Again capiure Soviet and U.S. spaceships with acter his own. M(H)re's Bond seems to A remake of Thunderbolt, hut who James Bond his "Intruder" rocket. One ofthe prob­ actually like the danger in which he was cares? This i.s Connery baek as Bond. lems with this film is thai it tried to top placed. Live and U't Die was a comic One ofthe longest Bonds to be sure, al book hero script, a battle of the good ver­ by Broun. Rob Brown tongue-in-cheek lines and very lew gad­ Thunderbolt's scope with a very much 137 minutes, and the climax is lackluster sus evil. Entertainment Editor gets. If Connery wasn't in the role, you inferior story. at best. wouldn't know that this is a Bond movie. an Fleming began to write his first This film contains the grittiest action On Her Majesty's Secret Service The Man with the Golden (inn A View to a Kill novel in I952. He took the name of scene of all Bond films; the on-train fight It's a great movie. However, George The world's greatest secret agent takes Zorin wishes to lake control ofthe his mam character from the author ol scene between Grant and Bond. Lazenby was trying to imitate Connery as on the world's greatest assassin. world's micro chip market by destroying I Scaramanga has been hired lo kill James a hook thai graced his coffee table - Birds opposed to making the character his own. Silicon Valley. Roger Moore, in his lust of the West Indies by James Bond. Ten Goldfinger Lazenby's strategy worked, only once. Bond. Bond is sent to find who has Bond Hick, must stop him. Note: Duran years later, people began to lake nonce of Goldfinger lakes FRWL's penchant for Success went to poor George's head stolen the "sole.x agitator", which is Oman's song is the best Bond song of all Agent 007 with a little film called Dr. No, action and adds gadgets. Lots of them. before filming ever began: "I'm in it for Scaramanga. There's your plot. Easily time. This film for many is the prototypical the broads and the bread". The script is the weakest ofthe Bond films in terms of Dr. No Bond film: a pop. culture phenomenon at first rale, as is the novel. story, and the weakest one with Moore al The Living Daylights It all began with ihis film, An agent is the time. Contains the best Bond villain ihe helm. Timothy Dalion wished not to make the murdered in Jamaica. The head of Ml7 to date: Auric Goldfinger, Diamonds Arc Forever role his own, or even to imitate Connery is alerted, and England's top agent is sent. Sean Connery is back to save the Bond The Spy Who Loved Mc or Moore. Dalton looked to George Behind all this is ihe first supervillain of Thunderbolt dynasty. Here. Bond is sent to investigate Ihe I ii si Bond plol nol based on a Lazenby, which made Bond much more the atomic age, Dr. No. SPECTRE is the shadows force who the disappearance ofa large cache of dia­ Fleming story. Villain Stromberg is look­ darker, and more like the novel Bond. has hijacked two NATO atomic bombs monds. One major plot mistake: Blofeld up to start W'WIII. 'fhe best pre-credit One ofthe more complex Bond plots. From Russia Willi Love and threatens to destroy a major city w ishes to use the diamonds to construct sequence ofthe series, as well as the involving political defectors, double This film is ihe most serious of ihe Bond unless a fortune is paid in ransom. an all-powerful laser/satellite, so he holds introduction ofthe cobalt-toothed Jaws. agents. Soviet occupation in Afghanistan. canon. (Although an argument can be SPECTRE'S Emilio Largo doesn't realize the world lo ransom. Whal kind ol ran A great way for Dalton to Start on Bond made tor License i<> Kill). The film is one lhal James Bond is on ihe assignment. som would appease a man who could Moonraker ofthe best pure action films under ihe cover a large satellite wilh diamonds'.''.'.' Cashing in on Star Wars. Bond investi­ License to Kill Bond hell. However, there are no real gates ihe loss oi a U.S. space shuttle. Drawn from contemporary headlines. Bond's search leads him to billionaire Bond must track down a drug lord who Hugo Drax. It seems lhal Moore liked to has killed Felix l.eiter's wife, and half-fed alternate the good movies with the bad Felix to the sharks. The film contains ones. I'his one was bad. man) gory scenes, as well as this writer's Make favorite Bond girl: Bam Bouvier, played For Your Iocs Only by ( aiev Lowell (a close second: Bond is brought back to earth, in a script Goldfinger's Jill Masterton). quelled from two Fleming novels; For Your Eyes Onh and Risico. The opening GoldenEye credit sequence has Bond visiting his fhe mysterious Janus intends to use the wife's grave, Ins wife from OHMSS. Stability of ihe former Soviet bloc to FYEO is an international espionage become the most powerful man in world fh'e NTS llinllei as much as it is a Bond movie Janus w ishes lo use ihe (ioldenl-.se key i*» Bond is sent to find the missing ATAC gain control over the world's finances. device before the enemy does. Pierce Brosnan finally gels the role to NATIONAL THEATRE SCHOOL OF CANADA which he was made lor. and does a great t > topu i job, 2000 AUDITION TOUR label" i • ire being sum • Acting Playwritmg Technical Production Scenography •...„... woman who has her own mysterio Tomorrow Never Dies female army, v subplot is generated by a The plol seems rehashed from a lew National Theatre School of Canada Soviet general who wishes to set off a Bonds wilh Jonathan hue's Rupert 5030 St. Denis, Montreal, Quebec, H2J 2L0 nuclei! device in Eumpe. Octopussy Murdoch-like media mogul lookin;' 10 (514) 842-7954 combines the best of all Bom: I Deadline for application TransCanada control the words ofthe world. Weak. E-mail: [email protected] v winery's seriousnes . M and loo commercial Wftf Tilf'iAKMHfliUnirttiii^^^ hcarte I entertainment The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 9

by Rob Brown Entertainmenl Editor

Directed by: Kevin Smith Starring: Linda Fiorentino, Chris Rock, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alan Rickman, Jason Lee and Salma Hayek.

he most controversial movie ofthe year. It's that simple. Smith's fourth Tdirectorial effort is easily his most expensive film to date and. whether it is his best remains to be seen. The story revolves around the 'Last Scion' (Fiorentino) and her quest to stop two renegade angels from entering a New Jersey church, as such an act would is one of those classic moments in Smith films. It ranks prove God fallible, thus making time unwind and destroy­ with the blow job conversation in Clerks, the "your ing the earth as humankind knows it. Fiorentino is joined momma's a tracer" in Chasing Amy, and the entire talk TheTop 15 Bond girl names by the 'Voice of God' (Alan Rickman). the * 13th Apostle' show ending of Mallrats. When Smith writes about the 15. Fatima Blush (Chris Rock), as well as the two 'Prophets'. The two seemingly banal, such as hanging out at malls, or having a 14. Melina Havelock 'Prophets' are easily identifiable to any fan of Kevin hockey game on a convenience store roof, this is when I 13. Bambi Smith's films, being the tubby bitch. Silent Bob. and find that Smith does his best work. Smith's Hare for dia­ 12. The Detainer "snootch to the motherfuckin' hootch" Jay. Salma Hayek logue slips a little, as this is his first film with a hero: the 11. Sylvia Trench fittingly plays the Muse', Serendipity. 'Last Scion'. In his other films, Smith doesn't focus on his 10. Honey Ryder Clearly, the best thing to come out of Kevin Smith films main character as much as here. Clerks is a pairing oi' 9. Thumper is the acting of Jason Lee. He stole the show as the lead in Dante and his video store friend. Mallrats is Jason Lee 8. Mary Goodnight Mallrats, as well as the supporting role in Chasing Amy. and Jeremy London, and Chasing Amy has Ben Affleck 7. Xenia Onatopp Here, Jason Lee plays the inside man to the two angels. and Jason Lee pairing off. Here, the film opens with 6. Octopussy Damon and Affleck. Lee is the demon who has "snuek Bartleby (Affleck) and Loki (Damon) being paired-off. 5. Miss Goodthighs away from the pit" unnoticed to inform the angels that However, it comes out that the two angels are really the 4. Dink they're a wanted commodity. bad people in this film. The filmend s with God saving the 3. Pussy Galore The role of the ' 13th Apostle" seems to be written specifi­ day. blow ing Affleck's head off, resurrecting the 'Last 2. Plenty CTTbole cally for Rock. He's the only black apostle, and has been Scion' and doing a handstand against a tree. 1. Holly Goodhead. left out ofthe Bible. His quest is to get the Bible re-writ­ This is a film that is not for everybody, but it should be ten the correct way. watched by all. It is not offensive, and just in case. Smith Have a suggestion for a Bond girl name? If it fancies the Religious doctrine is taught very well in this film. It is as has attached a warning at the beginning ofthe film. From Bond experts here at the Meliorist, you'll earn yourself a if Smith read the Bible, and then decided to make a 1999 the "Buddy Jesus" statue that the Catholicism Now! pro­ ticket \oThe World is Not Enough, opening on November film about his interpretation of it. Smith brings up the fact ject has used to replace the crucifix lo the giant shit mon­ 19th!!!! E-mail your answers to the Meliorist: that the Bible skips nearly 20 years in chronicling the life ster to the roller blading minions of Satan, this is a movie meliorist® uleth.ca of Jesus. His mention ofthe fact that the Bible seems to filled to the brim with everything. It's dogmatic! skip from the time when Jesus was 12 to when he was 30 Here is a second chance to win a ticket to the opening of The World is Not Enough. E-mail us your answers to the fol­ lowing questions BEFORE Friday, November 19th @ noon: In December... 1. Where does the title The World is Not Enough come Lit By Candlelight from? 2. What does the acronym SPECTRE stand for? In memory of those who have < lied ol AIDS an< I In -.i i| >p< >i t «>i th. i 3. Whose boat is the WaveKrest? living with I uv the annual can< llelighl vigil on Woii< i AM >*; i ).iv will 4. In which film does Ernst Blofeld finally die? take place at the Southern All >< M ta Al I ( '.. tilery l"here will be i v. trlety Ol (>< Mb >mu MS wilh ;u< tception to follow. All :.i i| )| >< >i I Is vvc >|< i n |

Manhattan OPEN DAILY FOR LUNCH THE TICKETS MAY BE PURCHASED IN ADVANCE RESTAURANT X BAR NEW YEARS EVE TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE &d£ BOOK YQUR CHRISTMAS PARTY NOW

(1st Ave S. Next to Marks Work Wearhouse) Lionel Rault - November 19th & 20th Hours of Operation TICKETS $ B.DD Over the past two decades, Lionel Kault and his songs have been mainstays Monday - Wednesday on the Alberta music scene. Widely acclaimed as a blues guitarist, he is also a 11:00am-12:00 midnight songwriter of extraordinary scope. Reggae, Country, Gospel and folk as well as blues influences can be heard in his music. Sharing stages with some of music's Thursday - Saturday more notable names, this is one Alberta musician you won't want to miss. 11:00am-2:00am

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\» IIAITY IIOUK 4 -7 HAPPY HOUR 4 -7 HAPPY HOUR page 10 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 entertainment Choke, Removal & DFSA at the Moon Tree Cafe hy Katie Shaw audience seemed entranced by their chooses to be something original, Francisco at the time and lie lived we're edl used to listening to very Staff Writer tight set and explosive performance. something that hasn't heen done so in Vancouver. He was in a hand progressive, very technical music; Choke's set wasn't as intrusive as many times that you're sick of hear­ called, Chrome Dog, with the and we just grew up around those Removal's was (it is doubtful any­ ing, like "insert pop band here". famous Bif Naked and they toured influences. And so, when we play ast Tuesday the Mum one's could be). However. Choke We just enjoy doing something a lit­ down to the West Coast and I met that's sort of what just comes out Tree Cafe, with thc orga­ surpassed my expectations and tle hit different and I happen to be a him there. My band was recently and we happen to be all musicians nization and hard work delivered a large portion of kick-ass technically-minded guy. I own ct touring up to Vancouver and I met that have played for a long time and Lof Maple Syrup Productions, wel­ vitality into thc veins ofthe viewers. recording studio and I enjoy the him again and we just connected. that's just sort ofthe way we express comed the bands Choke, Removal Tlie audience paid little for such a sampling side of things. That's And one year I was travelling ourselves. And plus it's sort of fun and tlie Disco Funk Super All-Stars great lineup from Maple Syrup what my input is in the hand. through Vancouver, on my way to to be that tight and to have some­ (DFSA) to Lethbridge's live music Productions. I was impressed, but Alaska and I stopped off to say thing that's planned out and not scene. DFSA started off the night disappointed with the turnout. I KS: Where does the band get the hello - and I actually never left. loose, and be very rigid. with some "ditties" (as they like to don't understand why Lethbians are computerized sounds? And we wound up, just because call them) and played well as usual. so hesitant to dish out some cash for E: Usually they 're from old we're such good friends, starting a KS: How many records has What I like about DFSA is that they live entertainment? Either way, thc records, we did make a conscious band and he knew an old bass play­ Removal put out? realize the privilege that they're get­ spotlight band ofthe evening was decision to never use anything that er from when lie grew up and went E: We have two. The first one is an ting their name out and their music Removed, whose sound and philoso­ was recognizable to mainstream to high school in London, Ontario... independent. We pressed about is being heard by a live, paying phy is completely original - a con­ pop-culture. Most of them cue from we started playing together and it seven hundred and have completely audience. As a local band, hopefully cept that has become almost extinct records tliat pre-date the 80s, mostly all just clicked. And we stalled sold out of those... mostly in DFSA will continue to perfect their in the music scene of Uie 90s. 70s and 60s records. Um, the only making music, and we didn'/ have a Western Canada. We were recently live show, introduce some variety of A Vancouver based band, Removal probably popular one that we have singer and so we just started putting signed by Wrong Records, which is sounds (like tlie swing song they delivered innovation and artistry by used is Reveen, but he s sotl of things other them singers in the owned by tlie mighty No Means No, delivered on Tuesday) and play mixing technically enhanced sounds only known in BC and Canada; he's music and it was left to me to figure and that album (the second one), some favourites like 'Do', 'Cat', and samples with drums, guitar and a hypnotist. He opens our new out how to put that in the music like I said before is called ' Hello and 'Decision'. bass. Drummer Ernie Hogdkins record, ' Hello My Name Is (and) in the live show. So I stalled My Name is Irrelevant', and it's getting into samplers and triggers After Hipping a coin to sec who talks about their new record 'Hello Irrelevant'. been out for about two months. and it just blossomed from there. would go first, Removal took to thc My Name Is Irrelevant', and how And the rest is what you see when stage without any introductions or this unique band came to be. KS: When was the original con­ KS: What's the message behind you see us live. microphones. Removal's set vibrat­ cept created for the band (how the music? ed thc Moon Tree with a shock Katie Shaw: What is the concept long ago)? Who came up with the E: There is no message. No words, value of originality which I haven't behind the lack of a vocalist? idea? KS: It's a very tight show, there no message, no agenda. Enjoy. witnessed in a long time. Tlie entire Ernie: Basically that Removed E: That's a very interesting ques­ can be no unorganized stops. tion, not any specific time. Bill, How do you guys practice that? the guitar player, and I were E: Well, we are edl sort of children friends previously... I lived in San ofthe metal-HOs, which means that

Lethbridge's Operation Red Nose will kick off ifs final campaign of the Movie Mill Listings Millennium with a news conference and volunteer drive on Tuesday, showtimes in effect November 16th. This event will take place at Treats Eatery on Mayor Friday November 19 • Thursday November 25 Magrath Drive at 6:30pm. Help kick start this program once again as this is the year that the world ends, the year 2000.

THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (14A) 111 min. 1:25; 4:10; 7:00; 9:45 Pierce Brosnan & Rene Russo star in this clever romantic drama.

INSPECTOR GADGET (G) 79 min. 1:40; 4:25; 7:20 Matthew Broderick stars in this family comedy filled with gadgets and thrills!

DRIVE ME CRAZY (PG) 89 min. 9:50 Not suitable tor Younger children Teenage romantic-comedy. Week Eight: Paul Verhoeven

FOR LOVE OF THE GAME (PG) 135 min. 6:40; 9:30 Mainly noted for being the master-mind behind the Sharon Stone crotch shot in coarse Language Kevin Costner stars as an aging baseball pitcher in this Basic Instinct, Paul Verhoeven does slip into the Sci-fi genre every now and again. romantic drama. When he does, he puts out a good product. Robocop, Total Recall, and Starship Troopers are Verhoeven's contributions to the Sci-fi genre. AUSTIN POWERS 2 (14A) 93 min. 1:45; 4:20; 7:15; 9:50 crude content Mike Myers & Heather Graham star in this groovy comedy sequel. Robocop After honest cop Alex Murphy is brutally murdered, his brain is supplemented with a RUNAWAY BRIDE (PG) 114 min. 1:20; 4:05; 6:55; computer chip. He is more machine than anything else, but as the promo posters 9:35 Julia Robert & Richard Gere star in this HUGE romantic comedy! pointed out, he's "all cop". The struggle exists between Alex's human functions and his robotics, and thus...his "Prime Directives". It is this factor which makes this movie MYSTERY. ALASKA (14A) 116 min. 1:10; 4:00; 6:50; "unsequelable". Someone should have told this to Irvin Kershner, who seems to love 9:40 Coarse Language and Suggestive Scenes. being involved in sequels. {The Empire Strikes Back is the most well-known) Russell Crowe & Burt Reynolds star in this hockey-themed underdog' film.

THE IRON GIANT (G) 84 min. 1:50; 4:30 Total Recall An animated family classic. Delightful & entertaining for both parent & child Douglas Quaid dreams of a life on Mars and actress Rachel Ticotin (while married alike! to Sharon Stone: now that's science fiction!). But, instead of going to Mars, he goes to a place which provides "false memory" vacations. Quaid's vacation of choice is MUMFOBP_(14A) 109 min. 1:30; 4:15; 7:10; 9:45 one of a Mars Secret Agent. Unfortunately, it turns out that Quaid really is a Secret PREMIER SHOWING Lort.ii { )i ,in piclentj'," ID be the new psychologist in Agent and he must liberate Mars by giving them an atmosphere. town, dishing out no-nonsense advice to the array of quirky locals. "Outlandishly Funny!" Starship Troopers The most violent of Verhoeven's movies involves a decent adaptation of Robert Hienlen's novel about the war on bugs. This film proves that you will always need Call 381-MILL two things in a Paul Verhoeven movie; explicit violence and naked people. (I don't 1710-MAYOR MAGRATH DRIVE SOUTH know about that violence, but judging by Doug Lamb's Random Thoughts article a http://www.moviemill.com few weeks back he'll be pulling for a Paul Verhoeven kind of future.) entertainment The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 11

The Katies: self-titled debut U Of \—lheatne Reviewed by Katie Shaw Staff Writer

articularly because I like the name. I thought I'd give this CI) an eat. Although I really liked ihe first song, 'Powcrkiss', I was a little run clown by the end o Peleven tracks. The Katies have a lot of potential, if they continue focusing on the evolution ol their lyrics anil attempting to introduce some original sound into their typical rock/pop arrange­ ments. Another good song the CI) has to oiler is "Miss Melodrama', which I found entertaining and 'Never Never Land' has nothing to do with where quirky. The Katies need a little more experience and maybe some self-exploration before laving Michael Jackson lives, that is a different place (although down another set of tracks to sell. If not. ihey could end up shelved on everyone's •'heard it before" list. Belter luck next time. there have been reports of pirates, aliens, and children there as well). The University of Lethbridge will host a production of Peter Pan which will involve crocodiles, Days of the New full orchestra ami choir as back-up. However, much ofthe sound from his previous release is aliens, and puppets. This will undoubtedly be a perfor­ mance to catch. John Poulson has taken the cast of bv James Robinson maintained. Lyricailv speaking, the album is Staff Writer pretty bleak and should probably not be included Peter Pan through an improvisational journey which culmi on anyones Christmas play list. However. nates in the production of this play. Tyler Anderson plays verday is different and with today comes Meeks has employed several studio tricks ami 'the boy who refused to grow up', while Erica Hunt plays the Days ofthe News second release. As method mixing to add a new dimension to his Wendy. Misty Cozac takes a turn at Mrs. Darling. Will it turns oul, this latest attempt is pretty sound. Tracks like 'Enemy' take on a punch that E was absent from his first album. All in all. this there be prancing on the part of Tyler Anderson? Who much unrecognizable when compared with their lirst release. Travis Meeks, lead singer and release i.s put together well, but at the same time knows, but there will be some fantastic effects in this pro­ writer, has restructured the band by removing all il is not for everyone. It is just worth checking duction. The play runs from November 23rd to 26th at ofthe other members and replacing them wilh a out. 8pm and Saturday, November 27th at 2pm. Ticket prices are $10/adults, $7/students, and $5/children under 12. Fiona Apple: antagonist, Apple's evolution from her first 'When the Pawn...' record is most v isible in the addition oi' instru­ Reviewed by Katie Shaw ments, although the Staff Writer piano i.s still predomi­ nant, the addition of ews Hash; Mona Apple has matured drums heightens her since her debut release 'Tidal Wave' music. Another great with the instrumental and inspirational N song is 'del Gone', where Apple sings, "You ; 'When the Pawn...'. Her voice is as entrancing your game/Made your shot/And you gol as always, and her lyrics are still unconventional away/With a lot/But I'm not turned-on". I sug and surprising. A terrific song is 'Fast As You gest this CD to those who enjoyed her first Can', where she sings, "Hungry for a light/And I release because 'When the Pawn...' maintains will not let you win / My pretty mouth will the angry-girl undertones Apple is so well frame the phrases that will / Disprove your faith known for. while producing ripe and nakedly in man." This song is swarming with delicious honest music. drums and tribal-type arrangements. Always the

each track. Although The Rhythm & its appeal may not be to Truth Brass Band: everyone. Tife'n' Drum' has the potential lo be 'Fife'n'DrurrV of use for a wide range THE TOP HAT of occasions, from Reviewed bv Katie Shaw dance music to dinner EXOTIC DANCERS CLUB Staff Writer parties. Highly recom­ mended for those who mportant noUccRhylhin S: Truth Brass enjoy different sounds, from Georgia and Band ha.s created a marvelous record lull oi' Mississippi. 'Fife'n'Drum' is great music with a Isound, energy, and soul with the release oi' lot of heart. vAissHi/eek: 'Fife'n'Drum'. As the band's name implies. Rhythm & Truth Brass Band composes great music with influences from various artists on The Philosopher anyone who ha.s ever Jordan James seen the Philosopher Kings: Live 'One Kings perform, vou know that they are a Night Stand' very emotional group and one ofthe best live (Baifey Wifde By Piotr Filipek acts around today. Photo Editor Il begins with 'Charms,' the single ome would say that it's the album, the sin­ which started it all, from there the band then ( gles and the radio play which makes a goes into another hit, 'I Am Tlie Man'. The Kaaue f "Diamond Sband great and the touring is just to get a album is more or less a greatest hits compilation. little word oi' mouth going. Well for this band, The best part ofthe entire record is the feeling those people are dead wrong. Since their debut you get from hearing a live album and the suc­ in the early I990's, the Philosopher Kings have cessful recording of something that could not be grown to become one of Canada's top selling captured in the sterile confines ofa recording Kristie sav. vocals, while Brian ? Anyone who likes ska. punk rock mix Mashburn holds Ins • should run, run. run. as fast a.s they can, (o own on guitar and Eric Zamora rounds out sev­ the nearest record store ami pick up a cop) oi eral tracks with a stellar tenor saxophone A Save Terns' newest Ci) 'Modified'. The Ci) gem of a CD, 'Modified' is definitely on m> top has well-arranged songs, an original feel, and 20 list of Favourites I999 Enjoy! Wednesday December 1 is Amateur Night! classics-iiHhc makin;' such as 'Turn it Up', page 12 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 entertainment

November

Lyndal Osborne (Tableaux' installation) and Sarah Peter Pan, as adapted by Stevenson ('Almost Invisible' James M. Barrie, starring Above: Calgary Sun Photographer sculpture) will be opening at Picture Butte native Tyler David Chidley. SAAG on Saturday 16th of Anderson, will hit the October and running until University Theatre on Left: Controversy abounds as two November 23rd. November 23rd to 27th. Call 329-2616 for ticket informa­ Gauntlet editors announce they are F^O,O t,y P,o«r Fi.ipok defecting to the Endeavor. The Sir Alexander Gait tion. Museum & Archives pre­ sents The Lethbridge Story: Lucy Hogg, a very dynamic Last Chance Millenium Tour painter and writer will be in The Lethbridge Story exhibit the Recital Hall on Friday in the Main Gallery is com­ the 26th of November at noon. ing down! Don't miss this opportunity for a personally guided tour of the Main Lethbridge Public Library's Gallery. Tickets Now On Friday Night Films presents Sale at The Sir Alexander Madeline on November 26th Gait Museum & Archives in the Theatre Gallery. $3.00 Each Tours Scheduled For Monday, November 8th, SAAG's Film at Noon pre­ 15th, 22nd & 29th sents Frank Lloyd Wright and Monday, December 6th, and the Story of the 13th, & 20th All tours begin Guggnheim Museum on at 7:30 in the Main Gallery. Novemebr 30th. For further information, please call Linda at 320-3914. The University Wind Family Viewing, one of Atom Orchestra will be in the Egoyan's first films will be Recital Hall on December shown on November the 2nd at 12:15. 17th at SAAG at 7:30. Before there was Felicia's Geoffrey James will be Journey, The Sweet opening his photography Hereafter, Exotica, and The work The Lethbridge Project Jeremy Paulson of The Meliorist prepares to hit Cactus Jack from behind with a foreign Adjuster there was Family at the SAAG on Saturday object as the Big Bossman looks on. Viewing. Come out and see the 4th which will run until an early classic from a high- January the 16th. Watch for profile Canadian director. him around the University the week before. Lethbridge Public Library's Friday Night Films presents 'The Messiah' and the The Champagne Safari and Lethbridge Symphony Evangeline's Quest Orchestra will be at the United Church on December Musaeus will be in the 6th at 8:00pm. Contact the Recital Hall on November Lethbridge Symphony 23rd at 12:15. Orchestra office for informa­ tion. Soleri's Citities: Architecture for Planet Earth and Beyond 'Students in Showcase' will is the subject of November be at the Recital Hall at 23rd's film at Noon at the Noon on the 7th of SAAG December, I *t i< ||| i I iy Al t* ly I * »l I Kama Sutra: Page 82. The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 13 Men spank Bisons

Andy Chan momentum, and maintained it with fulfilling them". and intensity, the 'Homs doubled the wins. Hall said; "It was nice to play Spoils Writer many exciting dunks. Our men were Coach Dave Crook had nothing but score 51 - 25 at Ihe half. against Manitoba, a strong team, when exceptional in catching rebounds praise lor his team when I interviewed In the second half, the 'Horns gave a we are going lo play Alberta". I asked he Men's haskethall team had which contributed to the large lead. At him, He praised his team tor giving consistent and strong performance, and Hall what the secret was and. he said, an awesome weekend playing the end ofthe second half the 'Horns the game an awesome level of intensi­ had no problems maintaining their "played the full 40 minutes, kept the Tagainst the University ol outscored the Bisons 40 - 36. The top ty, and he said it was one ofthe best large lead; and the game ended with a intensity throughout the game' Manitoba Bisons, who are considered three scorers were Danny Balderson games they have played in two years. dunk by #21, Jason Harrison. At the As on Friday night. Coach Dave to be a very strong team. Our 'Horns netting 14. Spencer Holt who hooped According to Trainer Lucas Ferguson. end ofthe second half, the 'Homs Crook was very pleased with his team's won both games by a large margin. 14 points and Michael Meyers chip­ Ihe 'Homs had an amazing 8 dunks, outscored the Bisons 37 - 31. The top performance. Crook commented that On Friday, they won 85 - 67. and on ping in wilh 12. The Pronghorns which typified their performance as a three scorers of Saturday's game were: "offensive was good and defensive was Saturday 88 - 56. Player of the Game was Michael whole. When I asked Coach Crook Damn Balderson with a whopping 22 good". Crook said, with great confi­ On Friday, Ihe men played with Meyers. why our 'Horns possessed so much points. Ryan Hall scored 14 points and dence, "we played very well, we don't exceptional focus, energy, and skill I commended Meyers on making intensity, he replied: "good energy, Spencer Holt who netted 9 points. The tear anybody, we have to raise the level which made for a very entertaining great dunks during the game, which good practice, ready to play". Pronghorns player of the game was ofthe game each time, every week we game. From the start the crowd was electrified the crowd. I asked Meyers Saturday's game was basically a Ryan Hall. have to raise the level of the game". I excited, and rightly so, because the about his opinion regarding the team's repeat of Friday's game. Tlie 'Horns In a short interview. Ryan Hall's com­ asked Crook what the key factor was aggressive play raised the level ofthe performance, and he said "we played had a commanding performance ment on the game was, "I think collec­ and he said that his team." played very game, and the Bisons just couldn't keep very well, planned to play competi­ against the Bisons almost from the tively we did very well and everyone well and played right from the lirst up. Al the end ofthe lirst half the tively, and played hard...took it right at very start. The 'Horns, however, had a contributed both nights; everybody minute". Next week, the guys tango 'Horns led the game 45 -31. em." He also said that they have "high high number of fouls in the first lew scored, everybody contributed and with the University of Alberta Golden In the second half, our men never lost expectations and it's just a matter oi' minutes. Despite their aggressiveness everybody played". About the two Bears in Fdmonton. Bisons thump women Andy Chan Throughout ihe first, turnovers plagued were Kirsten Davies with 10 points, Coach Don Johnson's reply to mv The 'Homs tried their best to catch up Sports Writer the 'Horns, and the Bisons capitalized Courtney Fraser with 8 points and question regarding the 'Homs perfor­ with the Bison in the second half, but for a huge lead at the end of the half Sheryl Websler and Melissa Met/, both mance was "thought we were awful in could not. Their performance in the he Women's basketball team (52-14). with 7 points. The Pronghorns Player the lirst half and a lot better in the sec­ second half was basically thc same as lost both games to the The second half was a different story, ofthe Game was Kirsten Davies. In an ond half". I asked Coach Johnson why in the lirst half. At the end oi' the TUniversity of Manitoba Bisons. thc women started off with renewed interview with Davies after the game. it was such a poor performance in the game the Bisons outscored the 'Horns Friday's game score was 86 - 49, and energy and determination. They Davies said: "In the second half wc did first half, and she said they talked 86 - 46. The top three Pronghorns on Saturday, Ihe score was 86 - 46. played well against the Bisons with a really well, and showed what we can about it, but they couldn't really put a scorers ofthe game were Melissa Met/ The 'Horns started off Friday's game lot less turnovers, better communica­ do, and the difference in the second finger on it. Moreover. I asked with 13 points. Kirsten Davies with 8 poorly, with the Bisons outperforming tion, better defense, and they even got half was communication, better intensi­ Johnson what contributed to the points and Tessa West. Sheryl Webster them every minute ofthe lirst half. some baskets. Every Horn gave strong ty and we wanted it more." Regarding Bisons' huge victory over the 'Homs and Courtney Fraser with 6 points. The 'Homs tried to get baskets but just performances, which contributed to the the team's overall performance, Davies and she replied, "they gave full court The Pronghorns player ofthe game couldn't get the ball through the hoop. 'Homs outseoring the Bisons 35 - 34. stated that she "felt proud that we did pressure and that was the difference was Melissa Met/. Manitoba demonstrated solid defense. The top three scorers for the 'Homs well in the second half". and we couldn't handle it". Johnson's In an interview with Melissa Met/, I last remark was "a lot more energy in asked her what her thoughts were the second half, and if they can do that regarding ihe team's performance. in the second they can do it in the Met/ replied, "I just think the team has lirst". to come out mentally prepared for each On Saturday's game, our 'Homs start­ game. I think we played great defense, ed off well, going toe to toe with the but we just have to learn how to play Bisons. They played with a lot of for the full 40." Furthermore. Met/ enthusiasm and focus, and got a lot oi' said that they "just had a lapse for three rebounds. The 'Homs took the lead in minutes, and that is when they took it the middle ofthe first half with the to us and from then on it was catch up Come to the Duke on Nov. 27 score 17 - 15 with 11:11 left in the half. time." After that, however, their game perfor­ Don Johnson's opinion regarding the to wish Jono good luck in her future mance started to suffer. The Bisons performance of her team was "I took the lead when the 'Homs had a thought we played better [than the last endeavors. rash of fouls called against them. With game] in all aspects ofthe game except five minutes left in the half, the Bisons for shooting". The Women will plav had the momentum, and our 'Homs against the University of Alberta just couldn't keep up. By the end oi Golden Pandas at Edmonton next As well come join us for the first half the score was 46-24. week. DtiVE 6PAR£6 SifirffDAY BilBfr on November 27th!!!

John Floyde has been named as the DON'T FORGET OUR GREY CUP SPECIALS! Athlete of the Week at the University $5 JUGS OF DRAFT AND 25C WINGS of Lethbridge. Floyde turned aside ON NOVEMBER 28TH!!! 75 shots as the Pronghorns picked up a win and a tie over the weekend in Manitoba.

Other Nominees:

Women's Basketball Lisa Prosser ief Mens' Basketball Danny Balderson Swimming Jenn Radolla page 14 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 sports Pronghorns finally reclaim U of A pennant into the final, and ultimately regain­ by Paul Whishaw from both Edmonton and Calgary to him for a lull point. Fred also scored would decide the outcome. The ing the team championship title. Spoils Writer meet in the final. full points in the nightclub category •Chief, who had already beaten Tcani A. consisting of 4 Pronghorns later that evening, narrow l\ escaping Trevor twice earlier in the individual fighters started off slow, losing the several pummelings when fellow competition, drew McAlpine off bal­ University of first two matches and tying up the team mates were forced lo exclaim, ance with alarming speed for a man t the I999 University of Lethbridge third. Pronghorns Kim Maruyama on numerous occasions: "Don't mind of+100 kg and threw him for a lull Alberta J into and Jackie Matthies were upset by him. he's from Sweden." point. Individual Results: Tournament, members A underdog opponents. Kim. suffering The score, after 6 matches, was The win secured the match for ol the t diversity Judo Club and the from a possible broken nose, mistak­ Team A-3 wins and feam B-3 w ins. Team A and returned the U of A pen­ ethbridge Judo Club dominated the Teruhisa Osawa Gold -56kg enly stepped oul of bounds and with one tie. Team B, however, had nant and trophy to former Olympic ndividual competition, and also received a penalty, causing her lo nol won all their matches bv full coach Dr. Yosh Senda's UofLdojo, cleaned up in the team competition, Han Choi Gold -66kg lose the scoreless match lo younger points, leaving an opportunity for alter several years at the U of A Judo learns of 5 men and I women. sister Meghan. Jackie, also suffering ream A to take the victory if they Club. Dr. Senda selected the two Daryl Treadway Silver -81kg insisting oi members of both clubs. from an injury, was countered by her could win by a full point score. Brad teams from both the Lethbridge and ought and defeated teams trom Fred Lingkrans Silver -90kq opponent and thrown for a lull point. Chiefbody, a college student and 5 I'niversitv clubs to maximize the ftilearv and Edmonton to make it an Fred Lingkrans, a Pronghorn on loan time provincial champ, met Trevor skills oi key players. His tactics ill Lethbridge final. The two from Sweden, defeated fellow U off, McAlpine, an LCI studenl and Junior worked (lawlessly, eliminating the (women's) . .ethbridge teams, creatively labeled Jackie Matthies Gold -63kg student Mike Hoven by throwing National Champion, in the light lhal competition and putting both teams team A and team B, defeated rivals

BOM [ym^mmf J2^JMOfJ C^LMOWI] TEAM NAME WINS LOSSES RT POINTS Hezbula Guerillas 6 1 0 12 Morning Wood 6 1 0 12 Mexican Hayride 5 2 0 10 Bangkok T.M. 4 3 0 8 Peter North Stars 4 3 0 8 Super Zeros 3 4 1 7 Oldman River Rats 3 4 1 7 Lik-A-Stik-Fun Dip 3 4 0 6 Farm Hands 3 4 0 6 Individual Team #1 2 5 2 6 Finky Stingers 2 5 0 4 Meat Thermometers 1 6 0 2

7 #^n [HUSXOT^ nHTOcm^i^yr IFTUS^OTRF STANDINGS*- Fall 99 (as of Nov.5/99) T.EAM NAME WINS LOSSES TIES POINTS Goals + Goals- Diff Oldman River Rats 3 1 0 6 47 21 26 Magical P's 3 1 0 6 33 15 18 Individual Team #1 2 2 0 4 21 14 7 J-Dots 2 2 0 4 20 23 -3 Caput 2 2 0 4 23 28 -5 The People's Champs 2 2 0 4 26 32 -6 ORS 1 3 0 2 18 31 -13 Cherry Pickers 1 3 0 2 13 37 -24 *NOTE PLAY OFF STARTS - TUESDAY OCTOBER 12, 1999

mmm [M=00[H3 uKOOr^I P^CUWcO^FtP STANDINGS*- Fall 99 (as of Nov 5/99)

TEAM NAME WINS LOSSES TIES POINTS Goals + Goal Diff Teletubbies 4 0 0 8 46 14 32 P-Starts 4 0 0 8 52 20 30 The Sabres 3 1 0 6 45 19 26 Team Calcutta 3 1 0 6 40 32 8 Molson Canadiens 1 3 0 2 17 50 -33 Cellar Dwellers 1 3 0 2 16 28 -12 Recreation Services Wheat Chaff 0 4 0 0 18 39 -21 D.I.L.L.I.GA.R 0 4 0 0 16 48 -32 *NOTE PLAY OFF START - TUESDAY OCTOBER 12, 1999 The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999 - page 15

Adorable, affectionate spaniel/terrier I would personally like to thank the I never fully realized just how annoying When a plane crashes, do they retire the kale, thanks for not hurting my brain. cross puppies to give away to a good library staff for trying to keep things first-years really are until this semester. (light number, like a sports hero's jersey home, small enough! to live indoors; organized while unknown persons SUPPORT MANDATORY FRESH­ but without the ceremony? From all the 'fat-chicks' to all the stupid Phone: 317-9330 put stuff back in the wrong MEN BEATINGS! -Ak guys, we're beautiful on the inside! place...Pheonyx -Yoda Which is more than we can say for A Vintage 1995 Sanyo 19" color televi­ Fiz.zbin. Sorry about thc diz dads! You!! sion. Excellent condition for a vintage To thc people lhal insist on breaking the To thc two chicks in Econ 1(X)I, the Sec you on thc Hippy 11(H)! tv. Asking $2(X) but willing to take rules and eating in the library, al least class is bad enough, we don't need you -Blobbins A wise monkey never monkey's with more money if offered. Cll Fred at 381- try putting you F#$7r ing gargagc lo start yacking. SHUT THE FUCK UP another monkey's monkey!! 4297 or email trimph® uleth.ca. where it belongs. NOT LEAVING IT ALRFADY!! 3 PISSED OFF GUYS Fire Pie's in the Hoouse! (Fire Pie!) Manticore INTHECARROLS!!"!! Fire Pie's in the Hoouse! (Fire Pie!) Bissel vacuum for sale. One year old - The handicapped buttons at the doors Andy, ifyou lived in Degrassi, you paid $170 will take bcsl offer. Call 381- I think that everyone i.s really happy are for the physically handicapped only, What's wilh all the swearing in the could definitely score with Caitlin (or at 2913. about the new printer in the study cen­ p.s. Fatness isn't a handicap Meliorist? I'm fucking sick it . Stop this the very least, that little slut Arthur). - tre, however, if there is no paper in it shit. Ed. Note: Ah M *.' it! gee pee For Sale - Kenwood 6 Disc CD how can it be of any use to use. Rumour has it that there wasn't enough Changer with FM Modulator. tinfoil to...oops. Katie: Your review was great — F'OR Just a little word of advice from the Only I year old. $250 obo. Contact To the "Another one of Many who ME TO POOP ON! folks on D/F 1; ifyou hear a drunk, fat- goodreau ©uleth.ca enquired about my great Whhaaaa. i'm a clean-freak and i can't -frenzy ass native yelling and stealing shit at 7 fourtune; I found her in Calgary....need stop bitching about the garbage left in the morning, grab a bat and have a To the red 240SX guy: Can I lake YOU I say more? Chicks from Calgary behind by thc students...whaaaaa, did i Wanted: Looking for pan time work little "chat" with him for a test drive? Rule!!! - Thc Original One of Many mention i'm also a chronic-bitching on thc weekends. Will do any trim- -Red Hot meal-head, -couchperv - ming, rubbing, groping, etc. However, i Monkey boy! Soul mates my ass. Did Q. Why is organized religion so popu­ specialize in priming and stuffing.'AH you ever think that you could be just so "Duke" You should consider your role lar in Lethbridge? A box of condoms + Oleo margarine + intcrsted females.inquire within desirable that they can't bring them­ as RA when you submit comments like A. Boredom is the mother of all inven­ a mechanical horse + a handful of quar­ selves lo approach you?????? S&M your "Pet Peeve" about "fat chicks" and tion. ters = a good time had by all the SRO Raise your hand ifyou hear pom com­ Girl other distasteful thoughts on 1st year - Yoda staff! ing from your landlords apartment at "chicks". Grow Up! two in the morning, three to live times Couldn't the University just turn a blind Artsy Parties; Rip your heads out of James in K208, Tennessee was one a week. Come on, do it, there is lots of eye to parking violations until we actu­ Hey Scotty too Hotty. are you up for your collectivist asses Take an econom­ nasty piece ofa**. Gel some respect us oul there. ally HAVE SOME PARKING!"'.'! another whore tour this week? Thc ics class for once in your life! All trade for yourself and get yourself a thorough - sign me disgruntled leader of the LB HP i.s ready to go! is good trade. Mgmt Students for a STD test. Hint: blow up dolls prevent To the Dick that think of himself as PRODUCTIVE future. future infections. God.for next time you dumped and Let's see.... 1/2 an hour driving around, To the Jailbirds. I had a great time in want sympathy from me, you should looking for a ten-minute parking jail with the two of you in Montana. To all thc obnoxious "fans" at the homs 18 hemrhoids, 4 tubes of preperation H, check yourself before writing how spot....$0.05 for 15 minutes, $0.89 per Gotta love thc orange suits!! Hey b-ball games: there is a difference 4 tubes of KY Jelly much pussy your gettin.Twice a litre of gas I figure the University singing Emsley, keep that butt in shape. between cheering for your team and = a successful SRO meeting! month,WOW! owes mc 35 cents. Shan, watch out for chairs! being ignorant assholes. Don't embar­ rass our school anymore. Coming Soon The SRO proudly pre­ To the infamous "Green Apple Gwhylo's quit complaining about profs The little MONTANA GIRLS. For spur Ed. Ne>te: Yes because our athletic sents JHIII" Back for Sloppy Seconds" Splatter", windows and sprays were who can't speak english and drop the ofthe moment road trips, don't go to teams do a good enough job of that on Coming in December! invented for the purpose of not sharing class. I'm sure you can take it from Montana cause it SUCKS! Hey my sis­ their own. the pleasantry of your expressions. Way someone else next semester. B1 ter Jen! Thanks for the card girls and Kluthe, Sach is busting his ass here to keep it real Nash. Ed. Note: Next week The Meliorist will for bailing me out, little one!! while you are building upper forearm he printed in Chinese. Flying Monkey Molester...Wed. night muscle. I hope you go blind and grow Thanks to fat, slow, ugly, smelly, smok­ Watch out for white GUEYLOW and was an adventure. Tip for next bar hairy palms! Signed, the Database ing guy. We all appreciate you blowing To the bagg in the front row of soci his sidekick 'Brother' BRAD! Cause excursion: Wear black sweat pants!! "crew" smoke in our face goin up the path. 2020 shut up! nobody wants to hear Gueylow is in the Russian mofia &. has Jen#4632 But don't worry, I gotcha numba. you stupid comments and when we're a tiny herngew. & 'Brother' Brad will To the idiot who lips off the handi­ talking shut up and listen. BI use his karate pork-chops & kill you! Jenn or i.s it Aimee?? capped: I wish that girl in the wheel­ Sounds like g(x>d will hunting is pissed Wahhhhhbaby!! chair had run over your worthless ass! off about being a janitor. Or maybe 6(X)4 drowned yourselfs in a toilet, Hellooo Ladies! You know, the Burger Karen or is it Korreena?? Biaaaaaataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatch!!!! because we are getting our education'.' backsireet boys! i haven't time for your Pimp is a lot like yor university tuition. Try a hockey arena or a mall. I heard games, i have a nation to run - EL No matter what you do, it seems like To thc guys that picked us up on To all the 1st. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th years that's much better. DUCE it's always going up! Whoop-Up Wed. Thanks!! If you're hotties blonde chicks! You all need a interested you can pick us up private spanking session with me! It's very very dark. It's windy. I'm wait­ To the nice single parent in the history BUY NOTHING DAY! Friday Nov. again....name the lime and place... 2 out ing for you in the dark... No, we don't department a few weeks ago. I would 26th. Don't be a pig...relax your con­ of the 3 COMING SOON SRO PRESENTS need safewalk. like to talk with you again. Maybe over sumer habits and reali/.e life! Even if THE SOUND OF MUSIC STARRING coffee? You've gol my number and just for a day... KAD, I STILL think he's cute!! JAM RHETT AS MARIA. SEE YOUR Nice haircut! Who is that cute girl? I email. LOCAL TICKETMASTER FOR hope California dosn't try to keep her. BooBoo, Congrats! Soon you'll leave Lethbridge, AB DETAILS! ALL GIRLS...ATTENTION PLEASE, these concrete halls of learning. You www.aiigeirire.com/ms/trilamb When you feel like starting shit, where WE HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU: have proved a higher elevation of learn­ home of the LAMBDA PORN STARS Congrats to Mike. Only two more better lo turn than the old tlfs. I would WE ARE HAVING A SCHOOL WIDE ing. Your smile will be missed. weeks till we hit the Pass. The just like to ask the author who asked SEARCH FOR THE HOTTEST GIRL Loving ya lots! Poke GWHH Lethbridge Herpes Clinic appreciates 'why do we need safewalk'. what the ON CAMPUS.COME DOWN TO How has the hunt been going? Any your patronage. Now your not only a hell are you thinking? Dl/EI -SINCERELY THE PROFFOF To Guy in Soc. 2020-you don't know luck! volunteer your a member! MACKOMATICS me, but if you're single, I'm interested. Distant HH He never has anything nice to say Respond via TLFs to Jen SRO VP of Gynecology Sacha has and it all boils down to Saben is an ass TO THE GIRL THAT LOOKS LIKE Deviant! beenpromoted to CEO of GYN BRITNEY SPEARS...I LOVE I heard that you aren't looking for any­ Have you been keeping out of trouble? due to a bad case of Parkinsons and a Any Computer Science students inter­ YOU!!!!! COME DOWN TO Dl/EI thing serious. Neither am I...But a little Innocent one! satisfied patient. ested in game programming email us (TILL I DIE, YXY) AND PARTY fooling around never hurt anyone at: [email protected] WITH US SOMETIME...LOOK FOR 2 Average Girls! Thanks to CJ's Eatery. Thanks to you THE FLAGS -PROFFESSOR OF Hey assholes working for the university You just need to look a little harder.we the girls came in a.s Pigs and will leave MATH 2570:1 would just like to thank MACKOMATICS who have nothing better to do- thanx do exist! as PolBelly Pigs. Coulee Junction the person who scored 267r on the for the parking ticket at 8:(K) Sunday -average guy !~ Biiiiiiiiiiiiiateh!!!!!!!! Midterm its nice to know I'm not the YOU PEOPLE OFF" CAMPUS ARE night only dumbass in that class CHEERS! IAICKY, YOU DONT HAVE T() Hey Duke and Rascal, I found a third! Kluthe, it is 2:05pm mtdThursday. We Wanna DEAL WITH RA'S AND OTHER ATTENTION ALL HOT are working on the our project you are [email protected] ORS STAFF. THE VOID IS CRAP CHICKS Dl/EI WILL BE HOST­ The Music Club's 9th Annual Big Band masterbating. It's work before Jerk! AND EVERYONE IS TELLING US ING THE HOTTEST GIRL ON CAM­ Cabaret is on Jan. 22. Tickets will be on Dr. Database, Database Nazi, Database To the girl who sent me the Ravc/'/en WHAT TO DO. WELL SUCK IT'- PUS AWARDS. APPLICANTS sale soon. Watch lor more info or e- Felcher fan mail: Thanks! but I lost your letter. PRISONER #001456867 Ed. Note: As SHOULD SHOW IN PERSON FOR A mail Rita at johnrv® uleth.ca. Get back to me at theoriginaljedi®hot- of next week, TLFs that ore in cops will INTERVIEW, LOOK FOR THE It's coming on January 22. Be prepared. This is the Dennis Bekkering Fan club, mail, com. DI. not he printed. FLAGS l-THE PROFFESOR WE LOVE YOU BABY! Shane...the man with long lasting buns. Making your friends choose sides is not A question lor SI' Pies Bonnie in Hey, doesn't it say "PLEASE DO NOT Dennis on the basketball team you are only juvenile, it hurts. To the "silent regards to 'Tuition Cap".. What is 'less RETURN SERIALS (OR BOOKS) I am Jack's academic vegetable SOOOOOOOOO hot! Vou have a secret love treatment girls" grow up and gel vour individual attention for studcnls" of NO TO THE SHELF"????? I think that interest! head oui of your ass. You're in individual attention lor students'' there might be a reason for 1 am Jacks depleted remorse. University, not Junior High ihaL.Pheonyx, back with a vengeance!! Late at night I follow pizza deliveries to 'sigh' bitch, bitch, bitch, whine, whine, parties. When we arrive, I always tip some people need lo grow up' we are Submit yo«jr TLFs via tne whine, nice comeback, by the way. nicely. not in high school anymore! get a life -Ak and keep vour mouth shut when it internet at doesn't concern you http://home.ul0th.ca/~mGliorlstt page 16 - The Meliorist, thursday november 18, 1999

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