Sample Negotiation Forms

Sample negotiation forms

Here we offer two examples of negotiation forms. The first is the one we use for our class It’s a Trap: Playful Scenes & Non-Bondage Predicaments; it’s focused and edited for that class in particular. After that is a longer negotiation form—it’s still shorter than the dozen-plus-page checklists that you might see, but it’s a lot broader than our focused one. This form may be useful to you to pull questions from to create your own. Of course, there is overlap between the two, but there also are some important differences!

These forms are both based on Jay Wiseman’s negotiation forms, which we’ve edited over the years. In this format, they end up looking long, but when laid out and printed from Word they can fit on one page, front and back. See the link at the end for a printable version of the longer form. ______

Basic negotiation form for playful and predicament scenes

This form is provided as a starting place for negotiation. Consent is a continuous process, and players are responsible for ensuring ongoing consent during a scene.

• What do you like to be called while playing? (Examples: your name, “slut,” “baby doll,” “brat,” “kitty.”)

• Our intention with this class is to be fun and playful, not get into darker edge-play scenarios. Within that, there can be some demos that have a lighthearted humiliation component. What subjects/words should we know to avoid? (Examples: slut-shaming words; anything to do with body image/shape.)

• This class involves scenarios that are intended to be “traps”—which is to say, they are set up to be difficult. Do you have any known triggers around “failing” at tasks?

• May others be invited to participate? If so, within what parameters?

SAFEWORDS

• We generally use “yellow” (slow down) or “red” (stop) as safewords. Additionally, if you tell us in plain English to stop something, we’ll stop! If there are other safewords you like to use, please list them and their meanings:

• We generally use opening and closing hands as a nonverbal safe signal, meaning “Stop and check in with me.” If there are other nonverbal signals you like to use, please list them here:

• Do you have a history of being unwilling/unable to use safewords for any reason? YES or NO and please give details:

HEALTH

• Please list any health issues (asthma, seizures, diabetes, nerve damage, joint injury, and so on):

• Do you take any medications? If so, please list them:

• When did you last eat? Are you hydrated?

• Known “triggers” we should be aware of? Please provide details if applicable:

• In case of emergency, notify:

PAIN

What is your general attitude towards receiving pain? (Examples: I’m a masochist and love pain for its own sake, I’m a submissive and take pain to please my partner, I don’t enjoy any painful play and don’t want pain to be part of our scene.) Please describe below:

SENSATION, SERVICE, BONDAGE, AND SEX

Circle those that you enjoy and indicate degree if desired: Light (L), Moderate (M), Severe (S). Cross out those that are limits. Anything not marked is “neutral”—not something you like, but not a limit:

• Stingy sensation • Bootblacking • Thuddy sensation • Stress positions • Spanking • Singing • Caning • Using titles • Flogging • Pressure points • Electrical play • Being written on • Knife play • Writing on someone else • Biting • Cock bondage (if applicable) • Tickling • Ice • Kissing • Gags • Position training • Blindfolds • Vibrators over clothing

• Your thoughts on clips/clamps/clothespins? Love them, they’re a hard limit, info on where on your body you do or do not like them applied (genitals, nipples, and so on)?

• Your thoughts on bondage? Love it, hate it, no rope in certain places, history of nerve injuries, and so on?

• Is there anything you especially want to explore?

• Is there anywhere you do not want to be touched at all, or not have any painful sensations? (Examples: nipples, genitals, bottoms of feet.) Please list and give details:

• This class doesn’t involve genital-to-genital or mouth-to-genital contact. Depending on your preferences, it can sometimes involve touching genitals with hands, external stimulation with a vibrator, and clamps/clothespins on genitals. Thoughts, including your barrier-protection requirements?

• Are marks OK? Within what parameters?

• Because this is a class setting, we have a limited ability to provide aftercare in the moment, but will be available to you after the class concludes, and would love to follow up with you the next day. Is there any specific aftercare you would like to request?

Basic negotiation form

This form is provided as an educational tool and a starting place for negotiation. This is not a legally binding document. Consent is a continuous process, and players are responsible for ensuring ongoing consent during a scene.

• Who will take part in the scene, and what will their roles be? (Example: Alex— Dominant, Sam—submissive.)

• During the scene, may others be invited to participate? If so, within what parameters?

• How long can/will the scene last?

• What type of scene are you interested in? (Examples: sensation play, animal play, resistance play, age play, D/s, Top/bottom.)

SAFEWORDS

• List safewords and their meaning:

• What nonverbal safe signals, if any, will be used? Note that if a gag is used, this is necessary.

• Do you have a history of being unwilling/unable to use your safewords for any reason? YES or NO and explain:

BONDAGE/RESTRAINTS

Circle those that you would like and indicate degree if desired: Light (L), Moderate (M), Severe (S). Cross out those that are limits; anything not marked is “neutral”—not something you like, but not a limit:

• Bondage to self (wrists together, • Blindfolds ankles together, and so on) • Hoods • Bondage to an object (cross, spanking • Partial suspension bench, frame, and so on) • Suspension • Harnesses • Inversion • Restraint with rope • Leashes • Restraint with cuffs • Collars • Gags

PAIN

SENSATION & SERVICE

Circle those that you would like & indicate degree if desired: Light (L), Moderate (M), Severe (S). Cross out those that are limits; anything not marked is “neutral”—not something you like, but not a limit:

• Stingy sensation • Knife play • Thuddy sensation • Sensation play • Spanking • Biting • Paddling • Tickling • Whipping • Play piercing • Caning • Cutting • Flogging • Blood play • Nipple clamps • Position training • Genital clamps • Massage • Clamps elsewhere • Boot worship • Electrical play • Bootblacking • Hot wax • Objectification

SEX

• Kissing • Anal intercourse • Masturbation • Sex toys/dildos • Oral sex (giving/receiving) • Petting over clothes • Fingering • Fisting (anal/vaginal) • Vaginal intercourse

• Is there anything you especially want to explore?

• Describe your barrier-protection requirements:

• Where do you do not want to be touched at all, or not have any painful sensations? (Examples: nipples, genitals, bottoms of feet.) Please list and give details if desired:

• Are marks OK? YES or NO. Visible in street clothes? YES or NO.

• Describe further limits regarding marking, if applicable:

• Is there any specific aftercare you would like to request?

HEALTH

• Please list any health issues (asthma, seizures, diabetes, nerve damage, joint injury, HIV, and so on):

• Do you take any medications? If so, please list them:

• When did you last eat? Are you hydrated?

• Have you had any alcohol or drugs?

• Any history of emotional trauma, mental health issues, or known triggers? Please explain. (This is a very personal question; however, it is crucially important as BDSM play can trigger memories or flashbacks.)

• In case of emergency, notify:

Printable version: https://www.stefanosandshay.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/one- page-negotiation-form-Citadel.pdf