Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 1-26-2007

Volume 42 - Issue 16 - Friday, January 26, 2007

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 42 - Issue 16 - Friday, January 26, 2007" (2007). The Rose Thorn Archive. 198. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/198

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA Friday, January 26, 2007 Volume 42, Issue 16

News Briefs Networkin’ it up at the Career Fair By Kyle Kamischke Jessica Rogers ates” and that is a reason Staff Writer that they have decided to Microsoft caught Wiki- participate in the fair. This handed his year’s Winter Ca- decision was also made due reer Fair had the high- in large part to the influence Recently it was discovered that Micro- Test recorded number of a Rose-Hulman graduate soft wanted to pay a well known blogger, of companies in attendance. within the company. Rick Jelliffe, to edit articles on Wikipedia. On Wednesday January 24, The same reasons applied He was specifically asked to correct ar- representatives from 131 to Aprimo, a software de- ticles that were incorrect on open-source companies manned tables velopment company. Part document standards. in the Sports and Recreation of their desire to come to Originally, Microsoft tried flagging Center in hopes of recruit- Rose can be summed up in entries so that regular people would fix ing Rose-Hulman students. a single gesture. When asked them. This did not work for the company, However, as Assistant Direc- why they came to Rose, Tal- so they decided to have a third party make tor of Career Services and ent Recruiter MT Ray simply changes instead so that there was a bet- Employer Relations Charity turned and pointed at her ter chance that they wouldn’t be undone Mouck stated, “Companies co-worker, Vice President again. coming to Rose is only part of Software Engineering No money amount was ever agreed on of the success. Student par- Tim Sublette. Sublette is a between Microsoft and Jelliffe. The only ticipation is key.” 1995 graduate of Rose-Hul- thing that was agreed on was that his work According to Mouck, It’s man and an example to the wouldn’t be reviewed before it was added the student participation company of the quality of to Wikipedia. that draws companies to engineer Rose-Hulman ed- In a blog posted Monday, Jelliffe de- Rose Career Fairs. At the end ucates. The small Indiana Andrew Carlson/ Rose Thorn scribed himself as a technical standards of each fair, Mouck says she company is very impressed Students talk to recruiters at this year’s Winter Career Fair. enthusiast. frequently hears companies with the way the Rose-Hul- More than 130 companies attended the fair. The founder of Wikipedia released a commenting on how well man curriculum matches statement saying that Microsoft should prepared and well spoken up with what their company ny that will speak with them not the biggest way students have instead written a document with the students at Rose consis- does. They also feel assured in order to make potential network with companies.” their interpretation of the subject and tently are. But what drives a that any student from Rose contacts. Sophomore chemi- Although she does not keep posted a link to it on the Wikipedia web- company to send represen- will be well educated and cal engineer Rachel McHen- track of how many interviews site. tatives to Terre Haute to seek prepared for jumping into a ry also enjoys the free items are aquired as a direct result out potential interns or full- career. companies hand out in order of the fair, she does keep re- time employees? For com- What draws students to the to get your attention. She cords on graduating seniors Anti-iTunes movement panies such as Texas Instru- career fair? For some, it’s the was excited to discover that and their job plans. One of gains support in Europe ments, participation meant ability to potentially achieve one of the items she received the questions the seniors traveling from Dallas, Texas. that first step toward a job was a ratchet set, one of the are asked is how they made Consumer groups in Germany and Matt Sunna, one of the – the interview. Others see it most unusual things she has contact with the company. A France have joined a movement led by company’s employees com- as a great networking oppor- ever received. large number of the contacts Norway to put pressure on Apple, Inc. to mented that “Rose-Hulman tunity and are more than ex- Mouck pointed out that are first made through on change iTunes so that it’s compatible with produces awesome gradu- cited to talk to every compa- the career fairs are “One, if campus recruiting. digital music players made by rival com- panies. Norway, Denmark, and Sweden claimed that Apple was violating their ARA tray returning troubles to end soon copyright laws with the iTunes software in 2006. According to sources in Norway, they are giving Apple until September to make changes to their software before they will bring legal action against them.

China wishes to cleanse the Internet

The chief of the Chinese Communist Party has vowed to cleanse the Internet according to the country’s state media. Hu Jintao is making it well known that he wants to control the access of China’s 137 million people who use the Internet. Jinato mentioned no use of censorship to accomplish his goals. The country’s ruling party is specifically targeting people inter- ested in “salacious pictures, bloodthirsty games and political scandal than Marxist Words by Fred Webber Photos by Joseph Barlan lessons.” Staff Writer Rose Thorn Last year, China’s Internet population grew by about 26 million. The total num- Students eating at the ARA won’t have to wait in line ber of Internet users is about 10 percent to put up used trays much longer. “We plan to have a of the country’s total population. Jintao new tray carousel installed over the quarter break,” wishes to make the Internet profitable said Mark Farner, who indicated that the current while still keeping a hold of the reigns. one has outlived its service life.

News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

Textbooks, Engineers in Concert, Rose’s new website, Swimmers doing well, “Eight Stitches...” Doobies video game reviews Energy of the Future, Basketball, Presidential primaries Scores Page 3 Pages 4-5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 EVENTS & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn Friday Saturday January 26 27 •Student Activity, Upcoming •Performing Arts Series, Ski Trip to Perfect North LUMA: Theatre of Light, Slopes, 9:00 a.m. 7:00 p.m., Hatfi eld Hall •Men’s & Women’s Indoor Track, Engineer Invita- tional, 12:00 p.m., SRC community events •Triangle’s SADD Games (For Middle School Students), 2:00 p.m., Hulbert Arena Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 28 29 30 31 February 1 2 3

•Blue Key Faculty/Staff •Countdown to Com- •Women’s Basketball, vs. •Student Performing •Rifl e, University of Ken- Dialogue, Faculty/Staff mencement, “Etiquette Franklin College, Hul- Arts Series, Step Afrika, tucky, Rifl e Range, Cook Dining Room, Hulman Dinner,” Hulman Union, bert Arena, 7:30 p.m. Hatfi eld Hall Theater, Stadium, 9 a.m. Union, 7 p.m. 5-7 p.m – Reservations 8 p.m. •Men’s Basketball, vs. •Career Services’ Infor- Required Transylvania University, mation Session, “What •Fusion Collegiate Event, Hulbert Arena, 3 p.m. is Co-Op?” Room 265, Hulman Memorial Hulman Union, 5:15 Union, Indiana State p.m. University, 7-10 p.m.

$6.50/hr Work Study Positions Available Now Rose Thorn Business Manager and Assistant Advertising Manager Business Managers will: ~No Experience Required! ~Manage important fi nances ~On-Campus Opportunity! ~Work with billing/accts payable ~Paid Training! ~On-Campus Opportunity! Asst. Advertising Mangers will: ~Flexible Hours! ~Communicate with advertisers ~Great Resume Builder! ~Design graphic advertisements Email resume to [email protected]

Classifi eds

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Three bedroom apartment Sharp Flats, LLC Now renting for 2007-2008 school year. Convenient and affordable housing. Large, furnished, three bedroom apartment available Summer or Fall quarter. Some availability now. Sharp Flats East is just a short walk from Rose with ef- Nine or twelve month lease. $660 includes all utilities. Contact Dr. Ditteon fi ciencies, studios, and one bedroom units and short-term leases. Our down- (CL104, Box 171, ext. 8247 or 299-5182. town properties are located on or near 6th St., and feature 1-9 bedroom units. Check us out at www.sharpfl ats.com. (812) 877-1146. sharpfl [email protected]. 1-5 bedroom rentals Now renting 1-5 bedrooms. Summer or Fall. $310-$550. Some utilities in- cluded. No pets. Gibson Apts. 234-4884.

Editorial Staff The Rose Thorn Thorn Staff Writers Jon Ogilvie James Zhou Editor-in-Chief Lissa Avery CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Philip Becker Andrew Klusman News Editor Ryan Schultz Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Jessica Rogers Rachel Howser Opinions Editor Aaron Meles Phone:(812)877-8255 Fred Webber Entertainment Editor Phillip Meiser Fax: (812)877-8166 Jim Sedoff Sports Editor Mike Ferguson David Chen E-mail: [email protected] Humor Editor Gregory Weir Phillip Meiser Layout Manager Andrea Brown http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Matthew Melton Copy Editor OPEN Kyle Kamischke Photo Editor Ken Meyer “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Tiffany Parrott by providing an accurate and Chris Casillas dependable source for news and information.” Cartoonists Erin Hudson Administrative Staff Luke Plummer Advertising Manager Richard Ballard The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays fi rst through ninth week each quarter. Asst. Advertising Mgr. Tyler Price Photographers Christina Davis Business Manager OPEN Joseph Barlan Webmaster Jonathan Ziebell Andrew Carlson Advisor Richard House Albert Mui The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Offi ce (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, January 26, 2007 NEWS 3 Indiana House textbook bill New Hampshire representa- tives introduce bill to legalize passes first test marijuana Beka Mech and that students would benefit can help the cause by calling or Christine Paquin nal status of marijuana is the Indiana Daily Student (Indiana from the exemption. IUSA Chief writing a letter to their state rep- The Dartmouth (Dartmouth) cost of enforcing the law, a law U.) of External Affairs Emma Cullen resentatives to tell them the bill is whose violators, some argue, and former Chief of External Af- important them, he said. Three New Hampshire repre- are essentially harmless. A House bill that could elimi- fairs Garret Scharton, who are The House bill is identical to sentatives have proposed leg- “As a legislator, I never do any- nate taxes on college textbooks both seniors, also attended the Senate Bill 16 penned by Re- islation that would legalize the thing for my own personal ben- passed through the state’s Com- hearing. publican Sen. Brent Steele of use of marijuana in the “Live efit,” he said. “This has nothing mittee on Education with a unan- Lauck said the costs of going to Bedford. Lauck said two bills Free or Die” state. The legisla- to do with me — whether I use imous vote of 12-0, said Indiana college are increasing at a faster are circulating in an attempt to tors insist that the bill is in the marijuana or not. I believe it is University Student Association rate than inflation, and the aver- bypass any difficulty caused by state’s interest due to the re- in society’s interest to legalize Vice President Andrew Lauck. age student spends more than the House and the Senate being sources wasted in prosecution marijuana because we waste The IUSA-supported bill also $1,000 per year on textbooks, so controlled by different parties. of what many consider a victim- a tremendous amount of time saw a change that added gradu- the savings would be about $60 Also, about six legislators have less crime. pursuing people who aren’t do- ate textbooks to the tax exemp- annually. taken interest in the bill, and Rep. Charles Weed, a Demo- ing anything except possibly tion. The bill now moves on to Purdue student Jimmy Cox each of them has an opportunity crat from Keene, N.H., initiated hurting themselves.” the Ways and Means Committee, echoed the same sentiment, to write his or her own version of the bill, which is co-sponsored When asked about a possible which will decide if the bill re- while Ivy Tech student Amanda the bill, he said. by two Republicans, Rep. Paul conflict between the federal le- ceives funding. Little gave a more personal testi- The campaign hopes the Sen- Ingbretson of Pike, N.H., and gal precedents barring the use State Rep. Joe Micon, D-West mony about the types of students ate will want to give more at- Rep. Steve Vaillancourt of Man- of marijuana even for medical Lafayette, wrote House Bill 1311, attending Ivy Tech, Lauck said. tention to the bill as it becomes chester, N.H. purposes, he said that if passed, which would eliminate Indiana’s Little reminded the committee more popular and gets to the Vaillancourt noted that one the bill would be making a state- sales tax on any textbook that is that some Ivy Tech students are House, he said. major concern with the crimi- ment to Washington. required for an undergraduate single mothers who put them- course at an accredited college or selves through school or tradi- university in the state. tional students right out of high Students from IU, Ivy Tech school whose parents can’t af- Community College and Purdue ford the tuition at other schools. Have a real answer to that University gave testimony at the Lauck said Little told the com- hearing along with the president mittee while $30 might not be a question: of the Indiana Retail Council, lot to some people, it makes a big Grant Monahan. difference for her classmates. Lauck said he talked to the “I think it’s important for (legis- committee about the rise in text- lators and committees) to see us What do you do in your free time? book costs and how the grow- at every hearing,” Lauck said. “It ing number of editions make it shows that it’s important to us.” harder for students to buy used Lauck said IUSA is sending let- Rose Thorn Meetings Wednesdays books. He testified that 15 other ters to every state representative states have already implemented this week to thank them for hear- 5:15 p.m. / O-157 similar bills, that five others are ing and supporting the bill. Indi- looking into adopting such a bill, ana students, parents or citizens Advertisement Presidential Candidates N a m e : E m i l y N a m e : Albert R a c h e l C l a s s : Howser 2008 C l a s s : M a j o r : 2008 Chemical Major: Engineer- C i v i l i n g / E n g i - Biochem- neering The Student Government Association of Rose-Hulman istry and H o m e - Molecular t o w n : Biology S c o t t s - Vice-Presidential Candidate H o m e - burg, IN t o w n : W h a t Name: Adler Edward Upcoming Events D e c a t u r, are your Class: 2009 IL goals as an executive officer if elected? Major: Chemistry/ What are My main goals include communicating with Biochemistry and Molecular y o u r the student body to enhance each student’s January 30—Fusion Biology goals as experience at Rose, and pushing the execu- Hometown: Muncie, IN an execu- tive committee to maintain the current level January 30—Final Elec- What are your goals as an tive offi- of excellence while exploring new ideas tions for Student Govern- executive officer if elected? cer if and opportunities. I want there to be at ment Association President I would like to see the Stu- elected? least one SGA event that appeals to every and Vice-President Posi- dent Government Associa- student on campus. tions �� Set goals for the executive council, tion continue to be the voice Why do you feel you are qualified for the keep improving what we do of and represent the students January 30—SGA Meeting position? I have served three years on �� Develop new events for students to at Rose-Hulman. I would SGA and have held two executive offices. I participate in like to increase SGA’s interaction and participation with February 5-9—Engineers have also held leadership positions in many �� Provide more and different opportuni- the student body, as well as, provide opportunities for Week other organizations. Over the past two ties so that more students can get in- Rose students to grow and enjoy themselves. years, I have worked closely with the past February 10—Tailgating volved on campus Why do you feel you are qualified for the position? I two presidents on a number of projects. I feel that my position as a member of the resident life for the Men’s Basketball �� Have fun and make the office even feel these experiences qualify me for the staff, and as a current SGA Exec Member qualify me for Team better! position of president. this position. I understand how to listen and work with Why do you feel you are qualified for the What made you decide to run for the If you would like your individuals and I also know the procedures, rules, and position? I’ve not only served as senator in position you are seeking? I have enjoyed club’s events to be publi- policies of SGA through my work as an Exec officer. SGA, but I’ve also been on the Finance serving on SGA over the past three years cized here, contact: Ra- What made you decide to run for the position you are Committee and on the executive council for and would like to “step up” my leadership chel Howser at hows- seeking? I served on the executive committee for SGA a year. I am also involved in many other role. [email protected] this past term and really enjoyed the experience. It was a student organizations, so I think I represent What cool event do you think SGA great learning experience, and I feel that as the vice- the students! should sponsor? president of SGA, I could continue to learn and help the What made you decide to run for the �� All Quarters—Hold a campus wide position you are seeking? I’ve been on students and families of Rose. book sale where students can buy, sell, exec and am aware of the position and its What cool event do you think SGA should sponsor? I or trade textbooks commitments. I think I can make it better! think it would be cool if SGA would sponsor an event What cool event do you think SGA �� Fall—Powder Puff Football/ each month on campus for the students. Not just tailgat- should sponsor? Cheerleading ing for varsity sports, but events during the day to show continuous support for the student body. An example of �� More student events at Homecoming �� Winter—Campus-Wide 100 Mile Club (Members choose to run, bike, or swim an event would be a “snow day” where fake snow would �� More tailgating events (class, different 100 miles during winter quarter) be brought in and we would have a fun time making events, more sports) �� Spring—Make last year’s triathlon a snowballs and snow men and everything you do on a yearly event snow day. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn The Wii Virtual “Reprieve” soothes Engineers in Concert Console leaves us wanting more The Nintendo Wii offers an ever the soul growing selection of rereleased Lissa Avery ly the track separations. I liked Chris Casillas hanced the overall performance. games for its virtual console. Editor-in-Chief that — it gave the feeling of the Staff Writer The emotion on Cringoli’s face album being a unified composi- and the ending position when Ani DiFranco’s 2005 release tion, rather than a set of individ- Lissa Avery she finished off the song was just Gunstar Heroes “Reprieve” is touted as more of ual songs. Editor-in-Chief amazing and was almost enough Chris Halvorson DiFranco’s beautiful blend of DiFranco recorded this album to bring the audience to tears. “Gunstar Heroes” is an excel- personal and political poetry and surrounding the months of the Saturday evening’s Encore Professor J.P. Mellor dazzled lent example of an ideal release music. I have to say, I agree. Fur- Hurricane Katrina (in her New Engineers in Concert was very with his bagpipe performance on the Virtual Console. It’s a thermore, I think this is an album Orleans studio), and the moods relaxing and amazingly enter- — in a kilt! He offered a five-ish niche title that a lot of people that people new to DiFranco can and ideas in the songs and po- taining. The variety of the acts minute PowerPoint presentation missed the first time around. appreciate far more than some of etry definitely reflect the politi- by the students and faculty of on bagpipes — including their “Gunstar Heroes” is a solid her previous releases, particular- cal climate of the day. That said, Rose-Hulman were diverse and structure and origins — which multiplayer game and well ly “Carnegie Hall 4.6.02,” which is these songs feel a lot more subtle interesting; we were impressed was pretty cool, if odd. It lent worth the entry price of $8. a live album. than some of her other political at the range of abilities of our col- a suddenly academic air to the The game runs just as well on “Reprieve” opens with “Hyp- pieces; most of the songs feels leagues and classmates. The acts event, although not overly so. the new medium as it did on notized,” a quiet song of a meet- personal rather than preachy, ranged from juggling, to dancing, We were both trapped giggling the original. Gameplay is just ing between two people drawn making it easy to connect with to singing. rather helplessly by the Rose- as intense as the original, and and held together by just enough the album. One of the performances of the Hulman Chorus’s presentation cooperative gameplay isstill a pathos and just enough sweet- There’s something beautifully evening that we both really en- of “Manly Men” and “The Argu- lot of fun. The game itself is a ness to hypnotize the other. The sweet about this album. DiFran- joyed was the duet by professors ment.” We, however, are major bit short by modern standards, album continues with “Subcon- co comes across as a lot less hard Julia Williams and Tom Adams. suckers for groups of people sing- but difficulty settings extend scious,” which picks up the pace in this album, employing more They performed a version of ing harmoniously. The humor its appeal. Now I just have to a little, but stays personal and subtlety while still managing to Christopher Cross’ “Sailing,” and was merely an added bonus. beat hard mode. doesn’t become jangly or jarring. convey her messages just as ade- Adams did an excellent job at his Overall, the entire concert was As the album continues, DiFran- quately. It’s definitely a more ap- guitar solo. Williams’ vocals were very exceptional. We enjoyed lis- co mixes in some spoken poetry, proachable album than some of exceptional and very relaxing. tening to all the performances; Bomberman ‘93 but overall, many of the songs are her previous works, although it’s Jenn Cringoli’s dance solo per- some, for example the Rose-Hul- Sara Hegeman smoothly hypnotic in rhythm. not so mild as to be commercial- formance was also very moving. man String Ensemble version of I have never been a devotee The album flows very smoothly ized for radio listening. There are She danced to “Broken” by Lind- “Pirates of the Caribbean,” were of the Bomber Man franchise. from song to song, and it’s diffi- no catchy hooks or easy answers sey Hahn and her movements relaxing enough that you could However, this little-known top- cult at times to point out precise- with DiFranco. flowed with the lyrics and brought fall into your own peaceful little down continuation, originally out feelings of remorse that en- world while listening. for the Turbo-Grafx, has awak- ened a new love of the series. I welcome a game where I am Don’t resist ‘Resis- 100% more dangerous to my- self than the enemies are. If you play long enough, you tance: Fall of Man’ may start to become slightly frustrated with holding the Wi- Wayne Utterback who survives overwhelming imote sideways and everything Daily Egyptian (Southern Illinois obstacles while somehow con- just not fitting right in your U.) tracting some of the Chimera’s hands. This game is the rea- powers. He’s a cool and collected son that a friend of mine went In the world of first-person- soldier with only victory on his out and bought the Wii Classic shooter games, innovation is key mind, and while he does not say Controller. We often find our- to success. much throughout the duration of selves pressing down and then “Resistance: Fall of Man” is in- the video game, he fits the role of committing suicide as we drift novation at its best and it rises the traditional hero perfectly. left instead. Although we both to the top class of first-person Weaponry is of both human still complain about the d- shooters simply because it strives and Chimera origin. Each gun pad’s over-sensitivy, the game for excellence while maintain- has two functions and some experience is much improved ing an overall fun and exciting have rather unique features. For by using the classic controller. experience. “Resistance” takes instance, the “Bullseye” is a Chi- Its obvious problems aside, the genres of world war and alien mera gun that can fire a track- this is still a gem of a game. The shooters and melds them into a ing shot that guides all bullets in single-player is a lot of fun and tightly knit non-stop thrill ride. the direction of the track. It’s a can wile away many long after- “Resistance” is a game that unique way to give players that noons of skipped classes. The takes place in the early 1950s and advantage over their enemies. multi-player is well worth get- at first appears to be just another Other alien weapons are more ting five controllers hooked up world war clone. However, the complicated in nature and have for an all-out bomber war. At moment players rise over the first to be seen to be understood. Hu- only 600 Wii Points ($6), I call hill and enter into battle, they will man weaponry is pretty standard it a steal. realize just how fresh and original with shotguns, automatic guns the storyline is. and sniper rifles. The date is 1951 and creatures The enemies are excellent as Ecco the Dolphin called the Chimera have begun well. While the small stalker-type Phillip Meiser to take over the world and the creatures are entirely too remi- “Ecco the Dolphin” was al- United States is entering the bat- niscent of the head crabs from ways one of my favorite games, tle to stop them. The battlefield “Half-Life 2,” they along with but I never owned a copy my- is England, where gamers travel many other enemies provide self, so when I noticed it on the through cities demolished by the unique and interesting chal- Wii Shop Channel I jumped at alien forces. Most of the areas are lenges for players. As with most the chance to pick it up. The barely recognizable as the cities games with creatures from an- game is of course as pretty as they once were. other world, they are grotesque ever, and doing dolphin flips Players assume the role of U.S. and creepy in nature, but also ps3.ign.com The shooting aliens genre has seen a lot of repetitive archetypes along the surface is still fun Army Ranger, Sgt. Nathan Hale, deadly. “Resistance” continually lately, but it’s so pretty. even by today’s intense game- introduces new opponents just play standards. Hey kids! to keep the game challenging. one of the most exciting parts of sistance” is difficult. The Chi- Like the original game, it Own a Nintendo Wii? Humans infected by the Chimera the games. mera always hit you consistently only offers you passwords to Still have some spare cash? look like zombies and when they Visually, “Resistance” offers and can take you out in a matter save your progress, but the Want all your friends to read latch onto you, you must shake players one of the more stun- of seconds. This is not the type Wii’s ability to pause a game about how cool you are? the controller to throw them off. ning first-person shooters in re- of game where you can charge and shut down makes playing Heres how, in five easy steps! Vehicles also provide differ- cent time. It encompasses just a ahead with guns blazing. It takes through much easier, as long 1: Buy an old school game on ent ways for players to battle the small taste of the power that the strategic movement and careful as you don’t forget and acci- the Wii Shop channel. Chimera. Players can comman- Playstation 3 has. Environments thought to survive this game. It dently quit. 2: Play it. deer such machines as tanks and are always evolving and provid- only makes for a more fun expe- My biggest complaint is that 3: Write a paragraph describ- jeeps. In the co-operative mode, ing new challenges for players to rience when you have to struggle the already twitchy controls ing the gameplay, how well it two players can get on a vehicle go through. In the first chapter to survive. suffer greatly from the tiny d- translated to the new console, with one player driving and the alone players go from combat in Many would argue that it isn’t pad on the Wiimote. Even the or even your own rampant other firing off the mounted gun. the streets to walking through the the best shooter to be released retro gaming pad doesn’t help fanboyism. Online is where the game truly hallways of houses not knowing on a console, but it definitely has much, I can’t wait for some 4: Email it to entertainment@ thrives though. The impressive what lurks at every turn. Even- set the bar high when it comes third party company to make a rose-hulman.edu and we just thing about the multiplayer ex- tually, the journey leads to areas to the next generation of video controller with an 8-way dpad might print it in an upcoming perience is how many players that have been taken over by gaming. “Resistance: Fall of Man” the size of a silver dollar like Entertainment feature. can enter into combat. “Resis- Chimera and made to look like ultimately succeeds as being a Sega used to have. The dolphin 5: Bask in the warm glow of tance: Fall of Man” supports up something out of a sci-fi flick. flagship launch title for Playsta- needs it. your own indie cred. to forty players in battle and is Even on the easy setting, “Re- tion 3. Friday, January 26, 2007 ENTERTAINMENT 5 LUMA shines the light on New York ‘TechnoCircus’ tonight choses her Rose-Hulman News LUMA in 1999. “Most other said. “It was just a whole new attraction to light. shows, whether it’s ‘Stomp,’ ‘Blue experience coming from being a Further inspiration came a few own flavor Using the dark as a canvas and Man Group’ or whatever, it’s all stage dancer to a show like this, years later while visiting a volca- light as the brush the LUMA’s about the performers. That’s not which was unlike anything I’d no on the island of Hawaii. of love Theatre of Light paints a story our intention. We want you to see ever done.” “I saw people staring at the lava of how light occurs to humanity, the light.” That people make the light like a deer in the headlights,” said Donnie Branscum and when combined with hi-tech Indeed, performers are to- move on stage, rather than ma- Marlin, who at the time was living Daily O’Collegian (Oklaho- illuminated objects, is bringing tally hidden from the audience chines, Schanz said, is what sep- in a self-built tree house on the ma State U.) to Rose-Hulman a “TechnoCir- throughout the 90-minute island. “I thought of how cus” that provides an astonish- show, wearing black suits plant leaves grow toward The supreme reality TV ing, one-of-a-kind show. made from a “top-secret” ma- the sunlight and how all life diva has found her own fla- LUMA’s latest show will be fea- terial. They maneuver bright- is drawn to light. I thought vor and will soon become tured as part of Rose-Hulman’s ly-lit props, execute rhythmic the whole world would like America’s No. 1 guilty plea- Performing Arts Series on Friday, gymnastics and puppetry, and to see a show about light.” sure in 2007. That’s right. January 26, at 7 p.m. in the col- even use illusion to depict In the 1990s, Marlin be- After being rejected twice on lege’s Hatfield Hall Theater. The everything luminous, from gan incorporating light “,” our favorite show is sold out! creatures that lurk under the shows into his comic jug- queen of controversy is back Creator/artistic director and ocean to the aurora borealis, gling act, which he per- to pick a prince from the 20 show emcee Michael Marlin in a series of vignettes. formed throughout the men on her own show, titled insists that LUMA’s Theatre of Each LUMA vignette is world. The act eventually “I Love New York.” Light isn’t your usual light show. about two minutes long and blossomed into LUMA in Tiffany Pollard, also known as New York, will not be mak- Combining the latest lighting is accompanied by an original www.rose-hulman.edu/news 1999. To date, the traveling ing this decision alone. To technologies, various physical score. The cast isn’t unveiled LUMA dazzles around black silhouettes. exposition has performed performance disciplines and the until the end of the show, in five continents and is help guide her to the right colorful creations of famous kite which performer George Schanz arates LUMA from any other light currently exploring an off-Broad- man, she brought her equal- designer/performer Marc Rick- said always surprises the audi- show. way and Las Vegas production. ly-controversial mother, Sis- etts, LUMA plunges theatergoers ence. “I think it brings a slightly more Marlin urges people attending ter Patterson, who claims, into a world where three dimen- “There’s a lot that happens personal aspect to the show,” he the Rose-Hulman show to bring “even if I’m down to my last sional illuminated images paint with a small amount of people,” said. “It’s not just a computer flashlights, keychain lights and breath, I will find the right a surreal world of light, color Schanz said. “But with good shooting an image onto a stage. pen lights to the show –- in hopes man this time around for my and motion. Fireworks, carnival planning and choreography, a It brings peoples’ emotions and of maximizing the LUMA experi- daughter.” rides and computer screen sav- small amount of people can ac- feelings on to the stage as well.” ence. The audience’s lights will be Together, these women ers appear out of nowhere while complish a lot.” The idea for LUMA was sparked combined with the performers in will test 20 men on every- phantom images of DNA stands, Schanz, who has a background on a camping trip Marlin took an illuminated free-for-all that thing, including their dating multiplying cells of light and in dance, said he didn’t know with a friend in the Arizona des- will be fun and exciting. skills, physiques, and most human ghosts create luminous what to expect when he joined ert during the early 1980s. As his LUMA’s special Rose-Hulman importantly, their bank ac- mysteries. LUMA a year and a half ago. He friend stared up at the splendor show has been sponsored by the counts. “There is no reference point for had to learn how to control the of the Milky Way, Marlin took a Indiana Arts Council/Arts Illians, On Oct. 15, 2006, approxi- LUMA because there’s no show props and dance in the dark. burning branch from the camp- Duke Energy, First Financial Cor- mately 7.5 million people like it playing,” said Marlin, a for- “The first time I saw what the fire and swung it across the night poration and Rose-Hulman’s De- watched pick mer comic juggler who dropped show becomes I was like, ‘Whoa, sky. Marlin said the moment partment of Physics and Optical Deelishis over New York on his first name after forming this is actually really cool,’” he made him aware of each person’s Engineering. the finale of “Flavor of Love 2,” making it the highest-rat- ed show in VH1 history. With all the hype “I Love Johnny Cardinale hits Reality TV shows: Wash, New York” has received, viewers might assume it will rinse, repeat. And repeat... be as much of a flop as Flav’s high notes, low laughs latest album. Ryan Schultz never really came. Justin Thompson dians hosting the whole thing. Well, this is simply not the News Editor But then, Cardinale picked up The Post (Ohio U.) These programs are like an el- case. The show is actually his guitar, and the show did a 180. ephant graveyard for once-pop- fiercely entertaining. At 8:00 p.m. Friday night, John- Suddenly, the “oh goodness, sigh, Trends define television pro- ular and now-annoying TV stars. New York is a star, and ny Cardinale, the stand-up musi- I’m going to have to sit through gramming. Network executives Case in point: William Shatner having her in charge makes cian-comedian made his debut thirty more minutes of this,” embody “monkey see, monkey is the insipid host of “Show Me the show so much better here at Rose-Hulman in the ARA... turned into “this guy’s awesome!” do” at a level unmatched any- the Money” and — without try- than anything Flavor Flav and what a mixed debut it was. Cardinale’s satirical use of where. If ABC hit No. 1 with a ing to offend dozens of J-CON has done. The advertisements posted songs and clean delivery, while show about schizophrenic ac- members — he is an awful, awful When the producers de- around the Union proclaimed that detrimental to his vaguely Dane tuaries that protect the environ- actor. That’s too far. He was an cided to create a spin-off, Cardinale “has been compared to Cook-esque stand-up routine, ment with their unpredictable awful, awful actor. Now he is an they were going to call it Adam Sandler.” By whom exact- was the perfect comedic combi- arithmetic genius, NBC would equally unpleasant spokesman “The Flavorette,” and feature ly, and how he was compared, is nation for his musical routine. follow suit — maybe with one for Priceline, whose cheap-at- season one contestant Hot- what I would like to know. Cardinale seamlessly combined more big-name star. any-cost ideology is best embod- tie. As a stand-up comedian, Cardi- songs from many genres and eras, Sounds patently ridiculous, ied by their un-ironic hiring of a However, when New York nale’s act wasn’t fresh. The jokes including a couple of fantastic but when CBS fills its Tuesday man famous for a slight speech returned for season two, were run-of-the-mill generically parodies of John Cougar Mellen- slot with “CSI: Topeka,” you’ll impediment. the ratings shot through the humorous anecdotes about his camp (where he smashed all of wish you had listened. Aside from that weekly dose roof. journey to Rose that weren’t un- his songs together to prove that The newest great crusade of of Shat, there is the earth-shat- The producers focused familiar ground to anyone in the they are, in fact, one song) and programming is the creation of tering “1 vs. 100,” which takes their attention on her, and audience (in fact, I’ve heard some James Blunt (and his nasal I’m- reality-game show hybrids. a motivated individual and pits in October, New York con- students crack a couple that he singing-words-but-good-luck- Easy to understand recipes them against 100 others — often firmed her show would air. used at lunch the other day). Ku- figuring-out-what-they-are style). are as follows: Game shows use B-list celebrities — in a contest The show is definitely a dos to the comedian for making The similarity between Cardinale bland hosts and quirky guests of wits. The winner, realistically, hit, and no one can resist her his show fit the situation... too and Sandler is their expert use of as pawns in the game bonanza; is whoever escapes the barrage charm. bad it fell flat (after all, bashing music as a satirical device, but the reality shows utilize games, awk- of cheesy one-liners from a se- “New York is a beautiful, on The Haute is funny for only so similarities end there. Sandler’s ward living arrangements and dated Bob Saget the quickest. spirited and sexy woman long before the jokes just become pieces are characteristically off- copious amounts of free alco- The loser is certainly the reputa- who deserves a man that will sad truths). color and border on offensive to hol to aggravate interpersonal tion of the American education appreciate her — she is also Cardinale’s delivery was silky- just about everybody. Cardinale, drama. system. one of the most outrageous smooth however. Compared to with his uncanny ability for mim- For instance, “Road Rules” And the piece-de-resistance of reality personalities we have other comedians that have come icking an artist’s vocal style, is the hosts contests in the hope that the terrible threesome is “Identi- ever seen — this show should to Rose and seemed to make up better satirist, using the songs’ cast members will fight each ty,” where contestants use visual be a lot of fun,” executive their routine on the ride over, Car- very lyrics to point out how fool- other, while “The Price is Right” cues to try to guess the identi- producers and dinale would not have been out ish some things really are while uses a stocky grandmother of ties of twelve strangers. Is that Cris Abrego said. of place on Comedy Central or a simultaneously keeping the show four from Idaho as another ob- blonde an Olympic gold medal- The truth is, the country larger stage in the Big Apple or the PG-13. noxious piece in Plinko. ist or a kidney donor? Does any- is fascinated with New York, Laugh Factory in L.A. (where... co- It’s too bad Cardinale insisted Someone forgot to pass these one care? whether they will admit it or incidentally... he has performed). on doing a stand-up routine. If rules to developers and now, “Identity”’s star is Penn Jillette, not. Truly, he seemed professional on he had another 15 minutes of strange half-breeds are taking the irritating half of the comedy- Don’t be surprised if New the stage. Perhaps his rehearsed solid musical content (and left over the airwaves, one confused magic duo Penn and Teller. He York sets her own VH1 re- routine and clean jokes combined the stand-up at the door), his act viewer at a time. All share a ba- has little skill at hosting a game cord. to seem artificial and lack that would seem much fresher, more sic premise: Sets resembling the show, which makes me wonder She began as a face in the punch and sting that Rose stu- original, and would have been Colosseum as designed by Ikea, if the network couldn’t afford the sea of women from which dents, in general, seem to respond more entertaining. After all, no sympathetic contestants, light- silent half. Flav was to choose his lover best to. Oftentimes, during his show can live on an exceptionally ing technicians apparently fired These shows highlight a cer- and has risen to create a per- stand-up routine, I felt like I was strong second half alone. from the Emerald City and, most tain television wisdom: A mis- sona all her own. waiting for the punch line... which importantly, washed- up come- take is worth making over and 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn Primary problems able, the Democratic Party must come, most candidates drop out be truly decided and no candidate With voter turnout at primaries not make the mistake of relying after these fi rst two. Why? Sena- obviously victorious until the very dismally low, much lower than that Here’s solely on the fact that their can- tor Carl Levin (D-MI) has pointed end, resulting in a someone cho- of real elections, this means that didates are not white males, but out that neither state is remotely sen by the nation, not two states, candidate selection is in the hands your new that they also have qualities that typical of the country as a whole. as the result. of even fewer people. The kind of would make good Presidents. I have to admit, the fact that these This plan was considered by the candidate they choose could have opinion In order to fi eld a promising two small states, in effect, get to Republicans for a while before ulti- dramatic effects on the outcome of candidate for President, the candi- choose who runs for President mately being rejected. And as Bar- the election and policy decisions date must have fi rm, obvious, and year after year “No candidate could one states, who over the next four years. Even by Aaron Meles comprehensive solutions to the still baffl es me. could blame choosing a weak candidate, they Opinions Editor pressing issues of the time. Unfor- In one of his afford to alienate them? With the are deciding the outcome of the tunately, our electoral system is not latest editorials, way recent elec- election in advance by removing With next year’s Presidential set up to provide such a candidate. Michael Barone New Hampshire or tions have been any semblance of competition for election still a lengthy 21 months In fact, the chances of such a can- of U.S. News Iowa by removing decided by the the opposing party. away, presidential candidates al- didate even getting on the ballot and World Re- outcomes in in- It’s about time that the Repub- ready seem to be popping out of in November is highly unlikely be- port discussed them from their ped- dividual states, licans and Democrats realize the ground like zombies in a bad cause of the inherent weaknesses a better primary estal as the nation’s no candidate that our current primary system horror fi lm. And what a diverse in our system of primary elections. system which could afford to has an obvious, glaring defect variety so far! Some of the early The New Hampshire primary involved four Presidential candi- alienate New that has a huge bearing on the Democratic contenders include and Iowa caucus are the fi rst of rounds of pri- Hampshire or outcome of elections, and that it Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, many Presidential primaries that maries, with date selectors.” Iowa by remov- should be transformed to actu- and Bill Richardson, all of whom sweep the nation every four years. each round involving larger and ing them from their pedestal as ally represent what it should: the belong to one minority or anoth- Yet, despite candidates knowing larger states. This would mean the nation’s Presidential candi- opinion of the entire nation, not er. While such diversity is laud- that many more primaries are to that the fi nal outcome could not date selectors. two of its states. The lowdown on Rose’s website Energy of the future Ryan Schultz News Editor Andrew Klusman Making cars more fuel effi cient Staff Writer not only helps the consumer, but If you missed the all-campus it also helps alleviate air pollu- email, I’ll bet that you were a tid President George W. Bush de- tion and would ease the pressure bit surprised when you opened livered his seventh State of the on gas prices. your favorite browser Monday Union address to Congress on Any energy plan the U.S. gov- afternoon and Rose’s homepage Tuesday, January 23. In the ad- ernment proposes must include popped up (what? Rose’s web- dress, he touched upon many a wider usage of nuclear power. site isn’t your homepage? What’s domestic issues, but spent the In the last few decades, safety wrong with you?). Rose’s new majority of time addressing the has improved, and there is a less- look was developed, according war in Iraq, and putting forth his likely chance for a Chernobyl or to the all-campus email, “after recently issued plan for transfer- Three Mile Island incident oc- much study and consultation ring full power to the Iraqis. No- curring all over again, especially with various campus constituen- tably, however, President Bush if training and safety guidelines cies including: current students, proposed different initiatives are followed. In addition to that, prospective students, the presi- to address energy consumption nuclear power is a more environ- dent’s offi ce, the president’s exec- http://www.rose-hulman.edu and our dependence on oil. For mentally friendly way of power utive cabinet, academic depart- leaving the quick links alone. I 1) Why are there three naviga- the most part, the plan is accept- generation when compared to ment heads, alumni, and various don’t know about you, but I rely tion bars on the front page and able; however there are a few ad- most fossil fuels. Nuclear energy administrative departments.” on those quick links like none why don’t they stay constant as justments President Bush should will never be the main source of Now there’s an exhaustive list if other. you navigate through the site? make to it. power in America, but there is no I’ve ever seen one. However, despite the good ele- 2) Why are links in counter-in- To achieve the goal of dramati- reason it cannot provide a larger And that’s exactly what the ments of the redesign, I can’t help tuitive or nonsensical locations cally reducing our dependence share of energy production than new layout of Rose’s new homep- but feel that the site has regressed (i.e., the “Business Connections” on foreign oil, he proposes that it currently does. age refl ects; too much input, rather than evolved. Some of the link in the top menu bar on the America must change how we In addition to the expanded use not enough decision. I could go elements, especially color selec- front page or the “Give to Rose- generate electric power and to of nuclear power, President Bush through every major design faux tion, are refl ective of the growing Hulman” link on a navigation bar use clean coal technology, solar should heavily promote the us- pas, but then this article would trends in the Web 2.0 design lan- that seems to be dedicated to in- and wind age of “clean be about twenty pages long and guage. Even some of the layout el- ternal Rose stuff)? energy, and coal” in our newspaper is only eight, so ements also refl ect Web 2.0, most 3) Why does the “President’s nuclear power gen- I’ll keep it brief. notably in the rounded rectangles Offi ce” disappear when you navi- power. He eration. Ac- Don’t get me wrong, I think the that now highlight everything. But gate away from the main site? If proposes cording to new layout has some redeeming that’s it. Our new website speaks it’s important enough to be on to reduce the United features, especially in the more in a confused design language, the front page, why not place it gasoline States De- graphics-intensive pages. Some- more akin to a Web 1.0 page danc- on subsequent pages? usage by 20 partment times the text of the old look got a ing in Web 2.0 clothing. Whereas 4) Why is the homepage fl oat- percent by of Energy’s bit heavy. I also appreciate many the original site was strictly 1.0 in ing in a sea of gray? Why not the 2017, and calcula- of the color choices. The Web both design and content struc- white that is easier on the eye and to do this, tions, if coal http://www.coalleader.com 2.0-ish colors are a nice touch. ture, the new design is kind-of serves as the background to so the gov- The FutureGen power plant. production As an added bonus, the photo- Web 2.0 in design and strictly Web many other pages? ernment and con- graphs on the new webpage show 1.0 in structure, making it a hybrid 5) Why doesn’t the webpage will promote the widespread sumption were held constant, a level of artistry unfamiliar on of two styles that should never be render properly in all browsers? use of renewable and alterna- coal could be used for the next 200 the Internet. Very nice. Overall mixed. 6) Why do the items under tive fuels. In addition to this, he years before the worldwide supply usability is generally unaffected Here are some fundamental “Rose-Hulman Events” not link wants to “reform and modernize of recoverable coal is exhausted. as one of the site’s creators had questions that I have and simply to anything? They look just like fuel economy standards for cars The U.S. FutureGen power plant is an absolute stroke-of-genius by don’t have the answer to: the links in the third navigation the way we did for light trucks,” a project by the U.S. government bar! which, according to his numbers, to build a “near-zero emissions,” I don’t mean to rag on the peo- would “conserve up to eight and a coal-fi red power plant, and it will 1000 Words ple who put this together. I can’t half billion gallons of gasoline by be fi nanced by the Department of imagine the amount of work in- 2017.” Finally, he wants Congress Energy and a group of coal min- by Erin Hudson volved in revamping an entire to double the current capacity of ing and power generation com- website. However, the majority of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, panies. If such a power plant can people I’ve talked to (more than a from the present levels of 727 be built with near-zero emissions, dozen and counting) like it less million barrels of crude oil, to 1.4 and use existing methods of coal than the old one... not the great- billion barrels. extraction (as it is planned to do), est news for the fl edgling site. President Bush puts forth a then this should be at the fore- Here are my suggestions to good plan, but it could go farther. front of any discussions concern- whomever is in charge of mak- Implementing the Corporate Av- ing large-scale power generation ing the new new website: either erage Fuel Economy standard re- in America. completely embrace Web 2.0, or vision is a touchy issue. Although While President Bush brings disregard it as a fad and create a it would fast track the implemen- some decent proposals to the unique, coherent style... not the tation of high fuel economy stan- table, he does not go far enough current hybrid we have between a dards, it also means the govern- in his promotion of technolo- struggling Web 2.0 page and a de- ment would interfere in business gies that we are at the brink of cent Web 1.0 page. (I suggest fully and the market, something that creating. FutureGen should be embracing Web 2.0, if the corpo- should be minimized in most put on the fast track, and efforts rate world is any indication.) The cases. Any discussion of the should be undertaken to reduce new website needs to be redone... upward revisions must include oil consumption on a large scale because the old one was working the Big Three automakers (Gen- in America. It will help the con- just fi ne and has been “fi xed” by a eral Motors, Ford, and Chrysler), sumer’s pocketbook, and it will broken replacement. and perhaps Toyota and Honda. help the environment. Friday, January 26, 2007 SPORTS 7 Sports Briefs by Mike Ferguson

Colts down Patriots Saints overwhelmed by Bears Rivals Indianapolis Colts and New England Patriots battled Despite being the under- in the AFC championship game dogs in the NFC Championship last Saturday. The Patriots came game last Sunday, the Bears put EEngineersngineers out strong, leading the Colts by on an offensive clinic, beating a score of 21-3 at halftime but the Saints by a fi nal score of 39- the Colts fought through the 14. The Bears bombarded the adversity to come away with the Saints with four touchdowns victory and advance to the Su- and three fi eld goals in the win. perbowl. The game came down Saints quarterback Drew Brees to the fi nal two minutes in the had more yards in the air than game , when Payton Manning’s Bears quarterback Rex Gross- offense scored a touchdown to man, but it was to no avail as put the Colts on top for the win the Saints only had two touch- by a score of 38-34. downs in the loss. Engineer Scoreboard eemergemerge Men’s Basketball 8-11 (4-6) Women’s Basketball 17-2 (9-1)

January 20 January 20 Hanover 56 Hanover 47 at Rose-Hulman 61 at Rose-Hulman 63

January 24 January 24 Anderson 59 Rose-Hulman 54 at Rose-Hulman 71 at Anderson 50

Swimming and Diving

January 24 Depauw RHIT: Men - 2nd, Women- 2nd at Rose-Hulman vvictoriousictorious

Track and Field

January 20 Rose-Hulman Quad RHIT: 2nd of 5 teams Terre Haute, IN

Wrestling

January 20 Spartan Classic RHIT: 9th of 22 teams North Manchester, IN Chris Casillas and Mike Ferguson Both men’s and women’s basketball teams won their games over Anderson and Hanover this past week. Swimmers capture fi ve fi rsts Our Lady of the Wabash Catholic Books and Gifts 425 Wabash Avenue Rose Hulman News and the 200-yard freestyle relay relay teams in the 200-medley re- team of junior Amber Jackson, lay and 200-freestyle relay. Terre Haute, IN 47807 The swim team claimed fi ve freshman Sarah Nejfelt, junior The swimmers return to action WELCOME BACK STUDENTS! fi rst place fi nishes in a dual Leslie Cottingham and freshman at the University of Evansville Tri- match against nationally ranked Jessica Neeb won in 2:10.75. Meet, with Vincennes University, Do you understand your Catholic Christian faith? DePauw University on Wednes- Rose-Hulman bolstered the on Saturday at 2 p.m. We carry a full selection of Bibles, Books day at the Sports and Recreation team score with a number of sec- and Resources to help you discover Center. ond-place efforts. Runner-ups Three of the fi rst place efforts included sophomore Nick Lee Catholicism, God and YOU came in the diving portion of the in the 200-freestyle (1:48.97) and * T-Shirts * CD’s meet. Freshman Sam Danesis the 100-backstroke (56.09); fresh- won the women’s one-meter with man Deborah Aleksa in the 200- * Hoodies * Saints Medals 136.45 points, while freshman individual medley (2:28.32) and * Ball Caps * Greeting Cards Mark Parzych had 202.70 points 500-freestyle (5:42.75); sopho- * DVD’s * Inspirational Jewlery to win the men’s one-meter. more Steven Vande Lune in the In men’s three-meter diving, 1,650-freestyle (18:18.85); junior 10% Discount with Student ID sophomore Matt Melton earned Jacob Sorensen in the 200-indi- Rose Hulman News Experience the beauty of your Catholic Christian faith fi rst place with 193 points. On vidual medley (2:02.62); junior with our unique tithing store located downtown the swimming side, freshman Adam Effi nger in the 100-butter- Nick Lee placed second in the at 425 Wabash next to the Coffee Grounds Stephanie Hance won the 100- fl y (52.69); senior Elaine Kratz in 100-backstroke and the 200- freestyle. backstroke with a time of 1:05.94 the 100-freestyle (1:00.90); and Open: M/T/W 10-6 Th 10-8 F/S 9-4 Phone: 238-0838

Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large

One-Topping Store Hours... One-Topping Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 Rose Hulman News Campus Only Campus Only Wrestler Jesse Evans won the heavyweight title at Manchester. 9 232-PAPA ONLY 7 Volume 42, Issue 16 Back off! I’ve got a page, and I know how to use it! Friday, January 26, 2007

It’s coming! Wacky Prof Quotes An exercise in Facial Hair February is coming! “I think I’m going through proper breathing Aaron Meles connotations of countenance menopause or something.” “A country’s got to go. And that Lissa Avery Opinions Editor coiffures? Check these trendy -- Prof. Mutchler, getting in country is Mexico. They’re Editor-in-Chief dudes out: touch with his feminine side dead to me.” That’s right. Facial Hair Febru- -- Prof. Casey, giving Mexico This “being a senior” mess is ary is just around the corner: a “Athletics is the lube of the busi- notice no joke. I recall my senior friends glorious month when men (and ness world.” of two years ago staying drunk some women) toss away their -- Prof. Inlow, being icky “How about overweight pro- and sleeping in throughout most razors and let their beards grow fessors who are bald with of their last year here. wild and free as nature intended “Let me throw up some examples. beards?” ...where’s my sleep‽ them to. (On second thought, www.worldbeardchampionships.com Well, don’t let me throw up.” -- Prof. Bremmer, on how to I’ve been sitting around, anx- women, you can keep shaving.) Advantages: When properly -- Prof. Wheeler, with creative spend your money iously chewing my nails to bloody So while your man-mane may waxed, this man’s hooked presentation methods nubs during the wait for grad grow itchy, unkempt, and even beard can be used as a climb- “That’s sort of the unstated school (etc.) rejection... I mean... get bits of food stuck in it (yeah, ing aid, effectively acting as “I’m smiling like this because statement that’s now being acceptance. new rule: “no girls allowed”), just two additional hands while I’m nervous...and I want to stated.” I’ve found all sorts of ways to remember that you got to sleep mountain climbing. Also can kill all of you...” -- Prof. Kaczmarczyk, clear- distract myself from frantically in an extra couple minutes this be used feelers when bobbing -- Prof. Butske, getting it out ing things up rechecking my application sta- morning because you didn’t have for apples. tuses. The worst has been cook- to shave. Disadvantages: Not so popular “Because that’s how the space ing. Elaborate stir fries, multiple Send your prof quotes Don’t believe in the capital aliens built the pyramids.” kitchen fires, cheesecakes, escap- with the ladies. or other humor material -- Prof. Stienstra, speaking ing cabbage, Indian dishes... the to fl[email protected] outside of his field works. Don’t forget the kitchen cleanup, either! Then there’s YouTube.com. Top ten Rose excuses for lateness Search for “The Indian Version Matthew Melton of Thriller.” I dare ya. Michael Staff Writer Jackson has nothing on this guy. Trust me, you can watch this one 10.I was buried, completely trapped, underneath my mountain of used countless times before you get Mountain Dew cans, and was finally rescued ten minutes ago. tired of that dancing. 9. It was Hertz! He said we’d play just one quick game, just one… Oh, and I can’t forget the yoga. 8. My roommate’s robot dog ate my homework last night around 7, I haven’t been making it to class so I should have it for you in two more hours. lately, but my apartment’s living 7. My, uh, “science experiment” kinda just went wrong and… I don’t room could be a shrine to yoga. remember who you are. …where am I‽ There are incense ashes every- 6. I had to go to the hospital. I hurt my arm playing “Guitar Hero.” where and my stereo’s CD player 5. My laptop is broken, and… I… can no longer… function… won’t eject my most recent yoga www.worldbeardchampionships.com Advantages: Much like the sea urchin, this man has grown a beard 4. Chuck Norris says I can turn my project in tomorrow. Are you listening disc. There are even foot arguing with Chuck prints and small blood stains all that is threatening to behold and dangerous to touch. Each tuft ‽ 3. My flux capacitor broke this morning, so I’ll turn in the homework over the walls from where I’ve of hair can contain as much as five ounces of venom, making this five minutes ago when I fix it tonight. tried to do some of the inverted man’s beard a powerful defensive weapon. 2. Sorry I’m late; there was a woman in my room. poses and failed pretty miserably. Disadvantage: Not so popular with ladies susceptible to the neu- 1. I decided to catch up on sleep from last week and went to bed That blood’ll come up, right? rotoxin. immediately. That was 28 hours ago. I just woke up. Right? My girlfriend says I’ve been pretty clingy lately... Philip Becker can find to discharge on. A super hero? Please. Wheth- Staff Writer Those coat racks by the ARA er I used said “power” for good are amazing for that purpose, al- or evil, in the end it’d only be Something’s been tingling in though I have to get psyched up awkward. I’d have to wear a my pants lately. to touch the hangar because get- huge poofy coat all the time and Yes, it is what you think it is. ting shocked sucks. And it’s a vio- when I saw someone I wanted to My winter coat is generating lent shock. It’s not a cartoon-level shock I’d have to spin my arms megawatts of static electric- shock that could substitute for an wildly to generate enough static ity, and it’s accumulating in my x-ray, but it’s a visible one. I have to shock them. And if I wanted pants. I spend all day feeling like to shield my eyes with the other to really get ‘em, I’d have to pull I wore spandex jeans and experi- hand so I won’t be blinded by it. up my pant leg and try to touch encing that odd, airy feeling you And the travesty of it all is that af- them with my exposed calf. Bat- get when all your leg hairs are terward, my pants are still polarized. man would be embarrassed. www.americaninventorspot.com perpendicular to your leg. So then I started thinking: may- On another note, if any of you Advantages: On windy days, this beard can produce up to 500 watts Not to mention I’m sure I look be it’s a power I’ve been given for electrical engineers know a sweet of power. Additionally, any Dutch people he meets instantly trust absolutely ridiculous walking a reason. Maybe I have to choose technique for keeping static him. bow-legged to reduce the amount to use my static pants for good away, let me know. I’d be willing Disadvantages: It takes 800 watts of static electricity to keep the of static forces going on. And I’m and not evil. Or maybe I should to stick an iron rod in my pants if beard erect in this shape. Also, not so popular with the ladies. just clinging to any metal object I just quit watching “Heroes.” that’s what it takes.

This Day in History On this day in 1962, the Unit- ed States launches Ranger 3 toward the Moon. The guid- ance system and TV camera break, and it misses by 36,800 km. The Moon’s diameter is only 3,475 km. Way to be.

In Addition Coincidentally, the top ten about lateness was turned in late. Also, Mr. Becker’s piece had an excess of electrons, and Mr. Meles’s was written entire- ly on the elaborately trimmed beard of an octogenarian.

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of the Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of the Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions. Things are going okay for me, except for the occasional crippling anxiety attack. Facts in “This Day in History” courtesy of New York Times Online. All material is copyright of its owner. Any unattributed material was created by Gregory Weir.