From Your heart... to Your Home

Fulfilling the dream of a family. Adoption from China and other countries

www.holtinternational.org 1-888-355-HOLT CONTENTS Dear Readers On his way to Korea in 1955 to adopt their eight children, Harry Holt was nearly overcome with doubts and fears as he faced the immensity of what he was doing. Unable to sleep, he found encouragement in a passage from the Bible: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. Above: Holt camp finds new ways to adapt. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar PROGRAM FOCUS and my daughters from the ends of the earth…” Holt Adoptee Camp 6 Isaiah 43:5-6 (NIV) Cover: Emerson Gray, born in Once a heritage experience for Korean Harry understood the historic context of this passage, but adoptees, Holt camps now serve adoptees China, is the daughter of Renée Lemley and William Gray. guided by his faith, he also found a personal message from more than a dozen birth cultures. from God about what He was doing. Harry immediately felt empowered to continue, knowing that God was send- FROM THE FAMILY ing him on this mission. A Metamorphosis 18 A few months later, as the Holts and their eight new chil- A father tenderly remembers the difficult dren were adjusting to the life they were building together, transition made by his adopted daughter. Harry and Bertha thought of the children who remained in orphanages. Bertha later wrote: “Harry could not forget those tiny outstretched arms he had left behind in Breastfeeding My Adopted Child 20 Korea.” About this time they reconsidered the Isaiah pas- Yes, it is possible to breastfeed an adopted sage and were startled to sense God focusing their atten- story page 18 child, says one successful mother. tion on another part of the passage. “Bring…” it said… a directive, a command. Their work Friends Reunited in a New Country 21 was not done. Friends from the same orphanage in Vietnam are adopted by two families from Harry returned to Korea in March 1956 to care for chil- dren while Bertha and the rest of the Holt family helped the same church. other families prepare their adoption documents. In October 1956, the Holts officially incorporated an orga- A Year of Early Intervention 22 nization that was later renamed Holt International A couple finds help for their son through Children’s Services. a government-funded program. As Holt International enters this 50th year of serv- story page 21 ing homeless children, we will be recalling in Holt ADOPTING International magazine some of the organization’s many U.S. Citizenship 25 milestones. But this year will not be about the past. Too much remains to be done. How and why to obtain proof of citizen- ship for your adopted child. Those “tiny outstretched arms” continue to reach out. Children without families still hope and cry for someone ADOPTEES TODAY to draw them close. The passage in Isaiah still has the force of God’s mission for all of us who see the plight of Fitting In 26 orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children. A lawyer and Korean adoptee shares her experience as a Holt camp counselor. We will be making more changes to Holt International story page 22 magazine over this next year. In the last two years, we DEPARTMENTS departed from our regular bimonthly format, going with five editions instead of six. We dropped the July-August Dear Readers 3 issue during the summer when families were so busy. We did this partly to save on the expense of producing that News and Update 4 sixth issue, partly to better allocate staff time as the com- Directions 5 munications demands at Holt continue to increase. Around the Globe 10 For these same reasons, we are moving the magazine to a quarterly format. However, we are also planning a special Calendar 11 50th anniversary edition to be mailed in March. Although Easy to Love 12 the number of editions you receive will be fewer than sev- eral years ago, we hope to deliver a publication that does Sponsorship 14 a better job of informing you about the world of children’s Inspiration 16 needs and the people who reach out to them. Family Tree 28 —John Aeby, Editor Holt History 30 story page 25 www.holtinternational.org 3 news and update

NewSong

Christian record- WINTER 2006 VOL. 48 NO. 1 ing group NewSong HOLT INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S SERVICES P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 now represents the Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175 Holt International OUR MISSION Holt International is dedicated to carrying out God’s plan for Sponsorship Program every child to have a permanent, loving family. at its concerts. In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that Sponsorships help God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopt- support homeless and ed eight of those children. But they were moved by the desper- ate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries at-risk children until as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love their placement in them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Bulgaria, Cambodia, China, Ecuador, Guatemala, Haiti, permanent families. India, Korea, Mongolia, the Philippines, Romania, Thailand, the The Dove Award- United States, Uganda, Ukraine and Vietnam. winning, Grammy-nominated group from Georgia was signed to PRESIDENT & CEO Gary N. Gamer Holt’s artist affiliate program in late October. For more informa- VICE-PRESIDENT OF PROGRAMS & SERVICES Carole Stiles tion about NewSong, including locations of performances, go to: VICE-PRESIDENT OF MARKETING & DEVELOPMENT Phillip A. Littleton newsongonline.com. VICE-PRESIDENT OF PUBLIC POLICY & ADVOCACY Susan Soon-keum Cox VICE-PRESIDENT OF FINANCE & ADMINISTRATION Kevin Sweeney BOARD OF DIRECTORS CHAIR James D. Barfoot VICE-CHAIR Julia K. Banta PRESIDENT EMERITUS Dr. David H. Kim SECRETARY Claire A. Noland MEMBERS Andrew R. 50th Anniversary Conference Bailey, Rebecca C. Brandt, Kim S. Brown, Wilma R. Cheney, Clinton C. Cottrell, Will C. Dantzler, Cynthia G. Davis, A. “Looking Forward—A Global Response for Homeless Children,” is the Paul Disdier, Rosser B. Edwards, David L. Hafner, Jeffrey B. name of an international conference to be held October 18-21, 2006, Saddington, Shirley M. Stewart, Steven Stirling HOLT INTERNATIONAL magazine is published bimonthly by Holt in Eugene, Oregon, in celebration of Holt International’s 50th anniver- International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit Christian child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the sary finding families for children. The conference will bring together content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in international experts and advocates in child welfare & permanency; this publication are not necessarily those of the organization. intercountry adoption; international relief & development; medicine & EDITOR John Aeby research; the HIV/AIDS pandemic; and legislation, policy & media as MANAGING EDITOR Alice Evans ASSISTANT Sara Moss well as three generations of international adoptees. Watch for details SUBSCRIPTION ORDERS/INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES on the Holt website: www.holtinternational.org/conference. Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contri- Korean Foster Mothers Visit bution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts, or photos.

Two long-time Korean foster REPRINT INFORMATION Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any mothers were reunited with portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests several of the children and to editor John Aeby at 541/687.2202 or [email protected]. ARKANSAS OFFICE teenagers they cared for as 5016 Western Hills Ave., Little Rock, AR 72204 infants when they visited Ph/Fax: 501/568.2827 CALIFORNIA OFFICE Holt International headquar- 3807 Pasadena Ave., Suite 115, Sacramento, CA 95821 ters in Eugene, Oregon, last Ph: 916/487.4658 Fax: 916/487.7068 MIDWEST OFFICE SERVING IOWA, NEBRASKA AND SOUTH DAKOTA November. Between them, 10685 Bedford Ave., Suite 300, Omaha, NE 68134 Mrs. Park, Kye-soon, foster Ph: 402/934.5031 Fax: 402/934.5034 MISSOURI OFFICE/KANSAS OFFICE mother since May 1987, and 203 Huntington Rd., Kansas City, MO 64113 Mrs. Kong, Yung-soon, foster Ph: 816/822.2169 Fax: 816/523.8379 122 W. 5th St., Garnett, KS 66032 mother since May 1989, have [email protected] so far cared for 132 children OREGON OFFICE Capitol Plaza 9320 SW Barbur Blvd., Suite 220, Portland, OR 97219 before their adoptions through Ph: 503/244.2440 Fax: 503/245.2498 Holt. Holt annually arranges NEW JERSEY OFFICE Mrs. Park, a foster mother from Korea, hugs 340 Scotch Rd. (2nd Floor), Trenton, NJ 08628 Ph: 609/882.4972 Fax: 609/883.2398 Robby Perry, 14, a young man she cared for as a U.S. visit between long-time an infant before he was adopted by Myrna and foster mothers, the children COPYRIGHT ©2006 BY HOLT INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S SERVICES, INC. ISSN 1047-7640 Robert Perry of Pendleton, Oregon. they fostered and their adop- tive families. ■

4 Winter 2006 directions

BEATING the ODDS By Gary N. Gamer, President and CEO Two of the children being helped by Holt Sahathai. No disaster flick could ever match the vivid reality of images In these situations, and the hundreds more Holt is support- we saw one year ago as the Indian Ocean rose up to steal the ing in Thailand, assistance is needed to help children and lives of 280,000 people and dramatically alter the lives of mil- families bridge the gap between poverty and getting back on lions more. In August, Hurricane Katrina again exposed the more secure economic footing. Such aid comes in the form fragility of the human condition against the sheer power of of small grants given to families to restart their businesses, Nthe ocean. Before the year was out the earth trembled in the through vocational training, and by linking caregivers to other mountains of Pakistan and India, bringing landslides and roofs organizations that specialize in these efforts. crashing down on communities and families. No less important is the counseling and casework done by As is often the case in disaster, those who suffer most are the poor and destitute who live at the edge of danger with HSF social workers to prevent crises from deepening. In the their more vulnerable homes and livelihoods. In hindsight, we case of the boy who lost his grandpa, HSF social workers spent know that greater preparedness would have prevented some weeks addressing the boy’s depression, then found a place of the suffering we witnessed, though the powers of nature for him with his paternal grandparents in another city. These would have been formidable in any event. Under these cir- grandparents have grown to adore him. cumstances we draw heavily from our faith in dealing with the The two half-sisters were under strong pressure to live in an pain and responding to the suffering. orphanage. HSF social workers prevented institutionalization As I reflect on such disasters, I see how closely they mirror by helping the girls’ aunt develop skills to nurture and parent the challenges Holt International faces on a daily basis as we them. They also helped her resolve a debilitating debt. address the global crisis of abandoned, orphaned and vulner- able children in need of families. Many people do not real- The 11-year-old boy with disabled parents was skipping ize the extent of this need: an estimated 140 million children school and running around without much supervision. HSF around the world have lost one or both parents. AIDS orphans paved the way for his return to school, giving him educational in Africa alone number approximately 12 million and are support and assisting his parents and grandmother in complet- expected to double by 2010. And although poverty is never ing construction of a new home more suitable for living. the sole factor, it is more times than not a significant contribut- ing factor leading to the crisis of a child needing a family. In Offering a Chance responding to these needs, preventative services are vital to The final and most meaningful dynamic driven home to me the difference Holt International makes in the life of a child. in this past year of disasters is this—the ability for people to overcome incredible odds if given the chance. In Thailand, Tsunami Update this chance was made possible in part because HSF got to Just consider the work of our partner agency in Thailand, the tsunami zone with a speed nearly rivaling the destructive Holt Sahathai Foundation, and what it is doing in response waves. Their work is not a quick fix, but one that requires to the tsunami. HSF centered its work in minority Muslim a commitment over time. The work will move forward well and Burmese communities. Located outside the better-known into the future to help communities heal and children become tourist areas that were hammered by the waves, these poor communities have few advocates but great needs. Livelihoods more secure in loving families. were destroyed, and many children lost one or both parents. After I visited our work in Thailand, a news broadcaster These children are among those targeted by HSF as most in asked me, “What is it that we don’t get?” He was referring to need of services. Americans, insinuating that we are a people disconnected to One child I know of lost his mother to illness and his father the broader challenges and disasters facing our world. I told to another family. His grandpa was last seen walking his bike him that the many of you involved with Holt International do, near shore when the giant waves struck the village. Two in fact, get it. You need only to look into the eyes of your other children are half-sisters who lost their mothers to AIDS. own children, nieces, nephews and neighborhood kids to The last words anyone heard their father say before leaving understand what a permanent, loving family means to a child. for work were these: “Sister, take good care of my kids.” Yet Thanks to all of you who contributed through prayers, giving, another is an 11-year-old boy with a spinal disability who is volunteering and other ways in 2005 in being an essential largely under his grandmother’s care because his parents have part of helping people overcome incredible odds if given the significant disabilities themselves. All the adults in this boy’s chance. life lost their livelihood to the tsunami, leaving the family destitute with no resources for medical care and acceptable Please join us in our 50th Anniversary year in 2006 as we housing. look forward to beating the odds for many more children. ■

www.holtinternational.org 5 camp feature

Photo by Lucinda Muñiz-Hale On the Way to Camp After 23 years, Holt Heritage Camp has become an institution—but this summer rite of passage now finds itself at a crossroads.

by Alice Evans Among tall firs with 11,239-foot Mt. Hood gleaming Crossroads Managing Editor in the near distance, the camp bustled with activity. Initiated by the visionary David Kim, at that time the A group of pre-adolescent girls sang and practiced executive director of Holt International, the first camp their dance moves, readying themselves to perform took place in Dexter, Oregon in 1983. It primarily at the evening’s talent show. A warm breeze carried served Korean adoptees. the scent of evergreen needles. By 2005 the camp was hosting adoptees not only This was a day of respite for campers who had from Korea, but also from China, Guatemala, India, so far suffered three days of damp chill and down- Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, Romania, Honduras, pour—a perfect day at the end of Oregon’s long Colombia, Japan and Cambodia. Several African Top right: Camper Lydia rainy season. Americans adopted within the United States were Hale, Korea, arrives at the also among the more than 250 campers at Holt camps Young teenagers leapt and dove in the volleyball Oregon campsite. held in Oregon, Nebraska and New Jersey. The 2005 pit, keeping the ball in play. A lone teenage boy campers represented considerable diversity for a pro- Above: Korean hanbok lay in the grass, soaking up the sun and listening to gram that could once focus on Korean traditions as images, one of many music through headphones. crafts at the 2005 camps. the primary birth country experience. Older teenagers sat together on log benches in New camp director Steve Kalb inherited the leader- Box, opposite page: front of the main building, talking male to female, ship of the Holt Heritage Camps at a time of reckon- Tyrone Good, Korea, plays playing cards, working on ideas for the talent show. the guitar while fellow ing. A Holt adoptee from Korea, he arrived at the counselor Ping Pong (aka Inside the building, cabin groups took turns at agency that brought him to this country with years of Patrick Foster), Thailand, craft and cooking activities, experiencing something experience as executive director of a camp in Iowa. of one another’s birth cultures. Using wooden gets in on the act. Among changes he brought to the 2005 camps was spoons, boys and girls intently stirred cookie batter in standardization. All counselors were trained at the preparation for baking Asian moon cookies. Tyrone, Eugene headquarters and attended all three camps, a counselor on floating assignment, played hot licks a change from previous years when each camp had on the guitar. its own unique group of counselors. The programs Later, as the day turned from warm to hot, camp- at each camp included the same activities. Kalb ers and counselors gathered at the swimming pool to sought and received accreditation from the American splash and play in the cool water. Some dipped their Camp Association. He also continued the work of feet, some floated on colorful tubes. Some simply Lora Vahlsing, 2004 camp director, moving toward swam, or sat in the shade and talked. changes that reflect issues of race and identity. Enthusiasm—that’s what I was looking at. “Every other culture or heritage camp in the Satisfaction. At this rite of passage known as summer country has the luxury of requiring the applicants camp, the kids were having fun simply being kids. to be of the culture they’re programming for,” Kalb

6 Winter 2006 camp feature

pointed out. “Then they immerse the camper in that culture for the duration of the program with ethnic meals, language, professional entertainers, cultural games, and much more. With our program being open to all international Camp Nurse, and transracial adoptees, we don’t have the luxury of being able to focus on Midwest one culture. We are continuously challenged to accommodate all cultures that apply.” From the time my The demographics of international adoption reflect ongoing changes in the husband and I Robin with her daughter, world’s economic, environmental, social and political conditions, and these adopted Hannah, Hannah (far right), and other campers at the Midwest Camp. changes ultimately affect Holt camps. we dreamed of send- “How do we produce a quality program that’s relevant to every child and ing her to Heritage family we can serve with our camps?” asked Kalb. “It’s the million dollar Camp. But when she turned 9, I was not ready question. In order to create a quality program for our diverse population of campers, we have to look at common ground. Numerous camper and parent for her to go. Now that she is 12, the time seemed evaluations indicate that it is the adoptee community and the immersion in an right for her, and the opportunity came available ethnically diverse population that is the real strength of our program, not the for me to serve as the Holt-Midwest camp nurse. cultural activities.” After the season was over, Kalb asked parents in a survey what they liked Going to the Midwest for the first time was excit- best about the camp. “That my child can be with other internationally adopted ing, but more so for me because I knew how far kids like herself,” wrote one parent. “It is very affirming for her.” That away from home it was, and I had never been response reflects the overall tone. Many campers asked a similar question mentioned “Exploring Identity,” the series of sessions in which campers dis- there. I had been a camp nurse before and knew cuss adoption, race and identity development with their counselors and other what that was like; Hannah had also been away campers. Others highlighted making friends and renewing old friendships, to a camp. But I wondered how she would per- talking with other adoptees, and being with people who understand. ceive the whole experience of a Heritage Camp. A New Mission At first I felt like the odd person out, being the only So Kalb developed a new mission. “Currently, there are no camps specifically designed for all international and transracial adoptees and the unique issues Caucasian there. Director Steve Kalb reminded they face,” he said. “This shift would allow us to develop and implement me that white parents raised these kids, and I cutting edge curriculum based on adoption, identity, race and racism. These would not seem different to them from their par- are themes that all our campers can relate to, regardless of what country they ents. Another mom, a veteran of the Midwest were adopted from. We are at a crossroads with our current program. We can choose to stay on our current path and continue trying to fit a new population camp, put it another way. She said, “Remember into an old system. Or we can choose to be proactive and pioneer, again, a this is the only time each year when these kids are camp program that’s relevant for the adoptees we will serve. ■ in the majority.” I had not thought of it that way either.

Mission Statement If at first I stared at any campers, please forgive Holt International Adoptee Camp will provide an environment of physi- me. I was overwhelmed with the beauty of all the cal and emotional safety, self discovery, and fun. Within a community cultures that came together for a week of fun and of adoptees, campers will share their common experiences while exploring issues of adoption, race, and identity development. sharing with others who were also just like them- selves in many ways besides their ages or the plac- Philosophy of Camp es they grew up. I learned so much more about • Cooperation, not competition how it is to be an adopted child from talking with • Richness of difference the counselors and staff. It was great for me as an • Freedom with responsibility adoptive parent as well as for my child. • The value of respectful conflict • Celebration You might say it’s just camp—but it was so much more! It was camp and, yes, some things are com- Goals mon to all camps, but this one has an added qual- • To create a community of adoptees and build positive relation- ity to it by tying a common thread together. Like ships between adult adoptees and campers. the red thread each camper tied on their wrist that • To share common concerns about adoption, race, and identity connected them to the camper on their left that last through community and education. night of camp, these kids are tied together by their • To foster personal growth that allows the campers to succeed common experience of their heritage and their during and after camp. adoption. • To create opportunities for leadership development. —Robin Harbuck, RN, Winter Springs, Fla.

www.holtinternational.org 7 camp feature

Camp Accreditation A new director, program changes and accredi- tation—what does it mean to parents and campers for Holt Adoptee Camp to get the American Camp Association’s stamp of approval?

by Steve Kalb For 23 years, Holt has provided high quality camp • Parents can be confident and assured that their Camp Director programs for adoptees. During the summer of 2005, children are safe and that they are having a quality we augmented that quality and strengthened our experience. Nine out of ten camp directors across camp by becoming an American Camp Association the country say they continue to seek accredita- (ACA) accredited program. tion for their camps because they believe it helps them maintain a safe, quality environment for The main purpose of the ACA-accreditation pro- their campers and staff. gram is to educate camp owners and directors in Top right: Holt Camp • It means we will have a Crisis Hotline available the administration of key aspects of camp operation, Director Steve Kalb is 24/7 during the summer season. particularly those related to program quality and the ready to lead Holt camp- • The ACA accreditation process gives us ways health and safety of campers and staff. The standards ers into a new season. to manage our specific risk areas, evaluate our establish guidelines for needed policies, procedures practices, and develop critical thinking skills Top left: Teenage camp- and practices. The camp, then, is responsible for in our director and our staff. The process was ers at the 2005 Oregon ongoing implementation of these policies. camp relax in front of the developed specifically for camps and is industry- main building. In order to become accredited, Holt camp was established. evaluated on site by two ACA visitors. During that ACA accreditation is an exciting achievement for day, they interviewed staff, the nurse, campers, and Holt camp. It requires changes in the way we train, me about the program. They observed the program, prepare and operate. It means we’ve thought about watching the interaction between counselors and all aspects of the camp program and have trained campers as well as evaluating the safety and appro- staff with plans and policies to deal with them. These priateness of our activities. They sat down with me changes will make it easier to effectively create the and reviewed all our policies from personnel training safe, fun, and extraordinary environment that makes to risk management to medication distribution. camp so special. What Does Accreditation Mean? Even with these changes, the heart of Holt camp • The sign that reads “American Camp Association remains the same. We will continue to provide an Accredited Camp” carries with it 50 years of par- environment that allows the campers to succeed ent trust, for the 50 years the ACA has in develop- during and after camp. Friendships that endure a ing and administering a standards program. lifetime will still be made and nurtured. Strong, posi- • The ACA will conduct a regular, independent tive and skilled adoptee role models will counsel our health and safety audit of our program, provid- campers. Our community of adoptees will continue ing assurance that Holt complies with up to 300 to be a safe and comfortable place to honestly discuss health, safety, and program quality standards. adoption, race and identity development. • The ACA approval indicates solid proof of our To honor and acknowledge the growth of our accountability, credibility and commitment, shows camps and to give more adoptees opportunity to evidence that we care, and demonstrates we have attend, Holt is adding a new location for the 2006 gone to great lengths, have been evaluated, and season. Next year, camps will be held in Oregon, the have passed the test! Midwest, California and Pennsylvania. • It shows we continually seek expert counsel from many fields. The American Academy of Pediatrics, The power of Holt camp has affected thousands American Red Cross, and others continually work of adoptee lives in its long history. I’m excited to be with the ACA to improve their camp standards a part of it as it continues to affect thousands more program. into the future. ■

8 Winter 2006 camp feature

Camp Counselor The Quest for Self-Understanding An 18-year-old adoptee from Guatemala learns that the quest for self-understanding is the work of a lifetime. by Kelsey Amara As the plane slowly taxis into the gate that I was excited about when I start- yes, I was an adoptee, a Guatemalan at SeaTac International Airport, I sit ed this journey in June. I had never American, a lover of music and peo- in my seat anxiously awaiting my been a camp counselor before, but the ple, but those elements of myself did arrival home. For the last week I was idea of spending time with many chil- not define me as a person. Rather, in New Jersey working as a counselor dren who will face the very issues that they are “what” I am, not “who” I am. at the Holt Heritage Camps. Earlier I have dealt with in my life made me In my high school AP English class, in the summer, I counseled at camps want to try. the teacher asked us to answer the in Oregon and Nebraska. As I look I was adopted when I was 18 months question, “Who am I?” I raised my around me at people sitting next to old. I do not remember what it was hand thinking I was quite aware of their spouses, mothers and fathers like at APIF, Holt’s partner agency the answer but was promptly told I holding small children, sisters and in Guatemala, but I cannot honestly had answered with “what” I was. brothers side by side, it strikes me just say I would want those memories. Many of my fellow classmates did the how much being a part of a family Having recently revisited my birth same. My teacher told us that “who” means. land and seen the poverty there, I we are ebbs and flows throughout our I think about my own family, thank- cannot be more thankful that my par- lives, and “who” we are one day will ful that I have people to return to ents adopted me. However, I did not differ from the next as the situations who love me and have missed me always feel that way. and people around us change. while I was in New Jersey. I think I have felt many emotions about my As I applied this to my life and my about all the kids whose lives have adoption: happiness, sadness, anger search for identity, understanding been touched by the Heritage Camps. and regret. All are valid, I learned instantly clicked. I will never know These camps are not typical “let’s go later. Nothing is more important all of “who” I am as a person, or as to camp”–type camps. Sure, they are than a child being able to talk about an adoptee. There is always more wonderful and a lot of fun, but there troubling things. I am thankful my to learn and to be discovered on the is another aspect of these camps that parents always encouraged me to be neverending quest for a sense of self. make them special. Children who open about issues and questions I had Faced with a new chapter of my life, attend them are all international, about my adoption. Some answers, beginning college, I am able to say transracial adoptees. though, are never going to be avail- that in my struggle to understand who able. I learned I had full access to my The bond of adoption is the thread I am and how I came to have a loving file, but I still wanted to know more family, I am content. that ties each of these individuals after reading through it. Told I had together. This same thread also con- to wait until I was 18 to search for my I will never be fully complete with my nects campers to the staff members. birth parents, I thought about doing quest for self regarding both life and it but didn’t feel ready. Instead, I my adoption, but having a sense of Waiting to get off the plane, I con- started reading about adoption. stability is a wonderful feeling. This sider what this common bond means can only come with a truthful and in- to adoptees. Such a connection can School was the perfect outlet. I wrote depth look into one’s inner being. never be broken because it creates a papers that rewarded me for trying to powerful environment for children understand myself. By researching I am thankful for the support that I who may otherwise not spend time transracial adoptions, I was able to have had from my family. I encour- with other children who are so much gather information about older adopt- age and advocate others to search for like them. ees and the struggles they had faced self-understanding through reading regarding identity in their lives. This and talking to other adoptees. There Being a counselor at these Heritage was the very issue I was struggling is no greater quest than that of self- Camps was a new experience, one with in my own life. I learned that discovery and self-understanding. ■

www.holtinternational.org 9 country news Globe India Vathsalya Charitable Trust in Bangalore received notice from their landlord in early December. This means having to find temporary accommodations until the new VCT building is constructed. Holt’s fundraising efforts for the new building are underway through Color of Hope benefits being held through spring at various U.S. These two children, homeless due to their parents’ deaths from AIDS, are cities (See Calendar p. 11). VCT expects to have groundbreaking among those being helped by Holt through a new agreement with China. by April 2006 and occupy the building by the end of the year. China Thailand Holt International is just beginning a project in Yuncheng, together On the day the tsunami struck in December 2004, social workers with local authorities, to support children who have lost their par- from Holt’s sister agency in Thailand—Holt Sahathai Foundation— ents and homes. With Holt help, the children will either be able raced to the scene on to stay with relatives or live with a foster family. Otherwise, they Thailand’s southern coast to would be placed in an institution. see what they could do. Holt representatives Carole Stiles, Vice President of Programs Ultimately, HSF established and Services, and Jian Chen, Director of International Programs, programs in two adjoining China, recently traveled to Shanxi province to sign an agreement provinces—areas among the between Holt and the Ministry of Civil Affairs of China’s central hardest hit. They committed government. They agreed to cooperate on programs to assist to stay for three years. HSF children, particularly those in the city of Yuncheng, where several prioritized working with hundred children face potential homelessness due to HIV/AIDS children who lost parents in their families. Holt expects to be supporting several hundred or caregivers and families children in care by early next year. that lost homes and jobs. They also put an emphasis on working with teenagers Uganda who were otherwise getting little or no help. Holt continues to expand programs in Uganda through its partner agency Action HSF now provides com- for Children (AFC). In November, Lydia munity rehabilitation and Devastated by the death of her father, development, counseling Nyesigomwe, Director of AFC and a spe- a fisherman, Diana has since taken on cialist in early childhood intervention, vis- and guidance, educational a leadership role among her first-grade sponsorship and nutrition ited Holt headquarters in Eugene, Oregon, peers with help from an HSF social worker. along with several government officials promotion services, and from Uganda. AFC programs include activity groups for widows, child sponsorships, grandparent sup- displaced persons, kinship family groups and teenagers. Donations port for children orphaned by HIV/AIDS, that poured in through Holt International have been channeled to home-based parenting groups, children’s HSF for this ongoing work. Here are two of the stories. clubs, parent education, training and start- Seven-year-old Diana lost her father on the day of the tsunami. up funds for small family-run businesses Usually both her parents went out fishing together, but that day (every family must work) and other forms her mother was hired to cultivate palm trees in a nearby village, of help. Holt and AFC began working and she left Diana with her grandma in a different village not far together in 2001 to develop strategies from their hut on the beach of Bann Talae Nok in Ranong prov- Many of these young to assist the large number of HIV/AIDS ince. Diana’s mother heard about the giant wave and rode her children live in grand- orphans in Uganda. AFC’s mission is to motorbike to the beach to search for her husband. On her way, mother-headed house- “Rescue children from immediate danger she was struck by a second wave. She survived by climbing a holds supported by Holt. and give them an opportunity to develop tree. Later that night, she found her husband’s body in a man- a purposeful future.” grove forest near the village.

10 Winter 2006 country news

Diana was a cheerful, talkative girl with a close relationship to her father. After his death she grew quiet, and she neighborhoodCALENDAR cried herself to sleep. The HSF social worker encouraged Diana to talk about Arkansas frerichsgreg@yahoo. com; or Susan Bailey her father and took Diana and her mother March 5—Location TBA Looking Forward–A at (402) 614-8859 or to see a psychiatrist, who suggested that Quarterly Meeting for Global Response for [email protected]. the mother care for Diana the same way adoptive families and Homeless Children as her father had. Now she has a lead- informational meeting July 30–Aug. 3—Ashland October 18–21, 2006 ing role among her friends in first grade, for prospective adoptive Holt Camp for adoptees helping them with homework. Her families. RSVP to (501) 9 to 16 years old. Holt International mother was able to build a new house 568-2827 for details. Contact: Steve Kalb 50th Anniversary using funds provided by the government at (541) 687-2202 or Conference—Eugene, OR and by HSF. A social worker continues California stevek@holtinternational. www.holtinternational. to provide regular home and school visits Jan. 29—St. Mary’s Cathedral, org org/conference and counseling and guidance. HSF pro- San Francisco Silk Bag vides Diana with a monthly allowance Luncheon to benefit New Jersey July 16–22—Eugene for school meals and some supplies. homeless children in April 1—place TBA Staff Training for Holt Thailand. Contact: New Jersey Annual camp counselors. Monica Wilton at (800) Dinner. Save the date. Contact: Steve Kalb 451-0732 or monicaw@ at (541) 687-2202 or holtinternational.org Oregon stevek@holtinternational. org Aug. 6–10—Dobbins March 3—Portland Holt Camp for adoptees Your Teen and Adoption, July 23–27—Corbett 9 to 16 years old. Identity, and Race, a Holt Camp for adoptees Contact: Steve Kalb workshop for adoptive 9 to 16 years old. at (541) 687-2202 or parents. 9320 SW Barbur Contact: Steve Kalb stevek@holtinternational. Blvd. 6:30–8:30 p.m. at (541) 687-2202 or org Contact: Post Adoption stevek@holtinternational. Services, Holt at (541) org Illinois 687-2202. August 5—Eugene Yom-ad and family. His parents were home August 19—Westmont March 4—Portland Holt Family Picnic for to prepare the ground for construction of Holt Family Picnic for Transforming Family adoptive families, adult their new house, an effort supported by Holt. adoptive families, adult Identity: Adoption, Race, adoptees, parents in adoptees, parents in and Culture, a workshop process and prospective Like Diana, Yom-ad is from a Muslim process and prospective for adoptive parents. adoptive parents. Check family and lives in the Suksumran sub- adoptive parents. Check 9320 SW Barbur Blvd. the Holt website for district of Ranong Province. His mother, the Holt website for 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Contact: updates on time, place from Burma, is mute and deaf. His father updates on time, place Post Adoption Services, and location. has a mental disability. Before the tsu- and location. Holt at (541) 687-2202. nami, his family had trouble making ends May 6—Location TBA Pennsylvania meet. Yom-ad reports that “after the Iowa Adoption Conference, Aug. 13–17—Starlight attack of the giant tide, my parents and September 23—LeGrand Northwest Adoptive Holt Camp for adoptees grandma could not get any jobs since all Holt Family Picnic for Families Association. 9 to 16 years old. green mussel farms had been damaged.” adoptive families, adult Appropriate for adoption Contact: Steve Kalb Yom-ad has a deformed spinal cord and adoptees, parents in professionals, adoptive at (541) 687-2202 or his younger sister is developmentally process and prospective families and prospective stevek@holtinternational. delayed. HSF provided the family with adoptive parents. Check adoptive families and org immediate financial support, gave funds the Holt website for adoptees. Keynote for a new house, and is working through updates on time, place speaker is Deborah Texas the grandmother to provide counseling and location. Gray. Contact: NAFA at and supervision. HSF encourages her to March 26—Grapevine (503) 243-1356 or www. watch over the family, especially in the Convention Center Nebraska nafaonline.org area of health care. They also support Color of Hope: Benefit Feb. 25—Crowne Plaza the children to join HSF’s activities to May 12—Valley River Inn, Tea, Fashion Show Old Mill, Omaha develop their potential. Eugene Color of Hope: & Silent Auction for Color of Hope: Benefit A Benefit Dinner & children in India. 2:30–5 Dinner & Auction for Auction for children in p.m. To donate an children in India. 5:30–9 Philippines India. Contact: Holt auction item, host a table p.m. To donate an Events Manager Caroline or volunteer at the event, Kaisahang Buhay Foundation, Holt’s item, host a table, or Howe Toy at (800) 451- contact event chairperson sister organization in the Philippines, volunteer, contact event 0732 or event chair Janis Julie Banta at (817) 329- celebrated 30 years of service on co-chairs Tracy Frerichs Ross at (541) 484-5307. 5257 or julia54@verizon. December 10. ■ at (402) 614-6002 or net

www.holtinternational.org 11 Pinty Born in India, May 26, 2004 Pinty came into care when her birth mother passed away and her family was unable to care for her. She is reported to be attached to her caregivers and is caring and affectionate toward her peers. Pinty has hepatitis B but is otherwise said to be in good health. She is meeting all her age-appropriate milestones. She knows and responds to her name, has good eye contact and Pinty expresses her needs. Nhan Born in Vietnam, November 16, 2001 Described as curious, communicative and active, Nhan has been in care since he was 2 days old. A bright-eyed boy whose motor and social development are said to be on target for his age, Nhan often teases his peers. He is said to be in good health and loves receiving personal attention.

Hyun-seh Born in Korea, September 12, 2005 Hyun-seh was born full term and weighed six pounds. He has good strength in his limbs and is said to move his arms and legs actively. At birth, he had hypertrophic pyloric stenosis (HPS), jaundice and a urinary tract infec- tion. He had surgery October 7 to correct his HPS and childr en is being cared for by a loving foster family. with special needs Landon a ren ’ t h a rd to a d o p t , t h e y ’ re… Born in China, October 20, 2000 Described as very clever, Landon is a curious boy who likes to imitate. He likes to play with other children and is said to be polite. His physical and cognitive develop- ment is said to be on target for his age. He was born with bilateral cleft lip and palate. His language develop- ment is reported to be on target, but his speech is not always clear; additional surgeries and speech therapy will be needed.

In this section we introduce children who are wait- Jigisha ing for adoptive families. They may be older, have Born in India, February 20, medical conditions or be part of a sibling group. Each 2004 Jigisha likes to explore child is very special with much to offer the family who her surroundings and is accepts one as their own son or daughter. described as a happy, The children shown here represent just a few playful girl who enjoys play- of those who need parents. Because Holt’s website ing with her peers. She provides a more complete listing and can be updat- crawls, walks with sup- ed daily, we ask you to view additional children at port, and can pull herself www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild. up to stand. She makes If you would like more information about a par- several sounds and fol- Hyun-seh ticular child, please contact Carrie Palmer in our lows instructions. She Waiting Child Program. She would be happy to share has developmental delays more information with you. You can request a Waiting Child Packet either by calling the Waiting Child Program at (541)687-2202 or through our web- site. These descriptions of waiting children are based on information Landon available to Holt from caregivers and medical personnel in the children’s country of origin. Holt cannot guaran- tee the accuracy of these descriptions or that the medical and psychological diagnoses of the children are correct or complete. Nhan

12 Winter 2006 See more children at www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild as well as nystagmus and myopia and wears gery last summer. He is said to have recov- glasses for part of the day. Her vision has ered well, and is doing well with his caregivers. improved with special attention and stimula- Oregon Waiting Child tion. A July 2005 brain MRI was abnormal. Jonathan In Oregon many children in state foster care Born in Guatemala, January 13, 2001 are waiting for adoptive homes. Agencies Chandrababu This loving boy is in good health and is gaining reduce fees for the adoption of a child in state Born in India, June 20, 1999 weight and strengthening his muscles. When care, and financial assistance may be available. Handsome Chandrababu is a pleasant boy Jonathan came into care at 3 years old, he To learn more, call the Special Needs Adoption who is independent and likes to run, hop and was very delayed. He could not walk, say any Coalition at The Boys and Girls Aid Society at skip. He attends school at the care center words or feed and dress himself. By 3½ years (877)932-2734 x 2392, or DHS at 1(800)331- and can read and write simple sentences. He old he could walk alone, say a few words, 0503. Also visit www.boysandgirlsaid.org and came into care at age 4 and reports a history answer questions and follow simple instruc- www.nwae.org for information and photos of physical abuse in his birth family. He is tions. His caregiver says he learns extremely of waiting children. Singles and couples are reported to have no medical concerns and is quickly. His vocabulary is increasing, and he encouraged to call. a social and active boy. He accepts the love is able to run and walk more quickly. Jonathan and affection of his foster family and appears likes to play with children his age and to par- Victoria and Makayla, ages 6 and 5 to be well attached. ticipate in games. Sisters “Tori” and “Kayla” have Nien Nick made great prog- Born in Vietnam, August 8, 2002 Born in China, December 14, 2002 ress since coming Nien came into care on her day of birth and Nick is described as an outgoing, indepen- into care. These is presumed to have been born prematurely. dent and energetic boy with a good appe- She is reported to have some motor and lan- tite. His physical development appears to spunky girls guage delays. She has shown great improve- be on target for his age. He has intersex are blossom- ment, and her other developments are said to disorder (ambiguous genitalia). Nick has ing! Their foster be age appropriate. Nien was diagnosed with good interaction with other children in the mother feels epilepsy and bronchial asthma. She has been care center and enjoys spending time with confident they seizure free and is no longer on medication his caregivers. will continue for her epilepsy. She expresses her affection on this positive to her caregivers and understands and follows path. instructions well. Despite a rough start in life, Tori and Kayla are well-behaved girls who get along with Hemant others. Each girl would like to please adults Born in India, February 15, 2005 and does her best to be helpful. At times Hemant enjoys personal attention from his their anxiety may get the best of them, par- caregivers. He responds to his name and laughs. At 7 months old he could turn his ticularly during stressful situations, and then body, creep forward and support weight on his maladaptive behaviors can resurface. Both legs. His motor and physical development are Nien sisters sometimes struggle with sleeping said to be age appropriate. Hemant was born peacefully during such times, but they benefit with an anorectal malformation and had sur- from a dependable routine. Chandrababu Tori is smiley and upbeat. Sports and bike riding are good outlets for her energy and athletic abilities. She currently requires struc- ture and medication for ADHD and anxiety. With improved social skills, she can now verbalize her feelings instead of acting out or withdrawing. Tori is working at grade level, with the exception of math. She likely will qualify for some extra help in school for fol- lowing directions and task completion. Kayla is adorable, outspoken and able to Hemant Jonathan speak her mind. She loves to dress up and pick flowers in the garden. Head Start ser- vices and occupational therapy have been helping Kayla with her gross motor skills and her language development. Kayla is ready for kindergarten but will require some extra assistance. Tori and Kayla will continue to require strong educational advocacy. These sisters need a family who can be nurturing and support- ive of the counseling process as they learn and heal from their past. Tori and Kayla are sweet girls who are excited to discover their new family. Jigisha Nick www.holtinternational.org 13 sponsorship

Report from Romania Holt’s Romania Program After the fall of the repressive Ceausescu govern- ment, Holt launched a program to help children out of the desperate conditions of Romanian orphan- ages. Shortly after initiating the program in 1990, Holt trained a substantial number of social service assistants to go into children’s institutions and devel- op ways for those children to be united with birth families and adoptive families. Over the following years Holt advocated for ethical adoption processes to protect the rights of children and birth families. A lack of protections had opened the doors for many abuses, and finally the Romanian government closed international adoption. Holt’s initial program has now become two partner agencies, the Holt Romania

Staff workers with teenagers in in Holt Romania. programs Foundation and Close to You. HRF finds families for children through family preservation and domestic Like many other children in the care of Holt adoption. Close to You serves children who have in Romania, Helen* faced a desperate situation. tested HIV positive. But Holt sponsors are making it possible for her to receive the help she needs. HOLT ROMANIA ACCOMPLISHMENTS—2004 Helen’s Story Total Permanent Placements 1,091 Children remaining in birth family 999 Shortly after I was born, my mom abandoned me in the Children returned to birth family 41 hospital. I grew up with my grandparents, and my aunt Domestic placements 51 took care of me as if I were her daughter. I never knew my father. I always wondered and asked people around me Total Children Served 1,741 about him, but it was useless. Nobody knew anything. Children served in sponsorship 361 Services to HIV children 257 In 2001 I discovered I was HIV positive. My grandmother Numbers receiving parent education 4,854 did not keep this from me. She never had any interest in knowing that if I was HIV positive, it did not mean that I Total Families Served 1,295 have the AIDS disease. Every time she became angry or Family reunification 67 got drunk, she used to call me bad names and cursed me Family preservation 808 because of the mistake “my mother” had done. Post placement services 665 *Other services 5,595 Together with us there lived two other brothers that my mother had. They hit me and told me that I was girl and *Other services: Families affected by HIV, pregnancy counseling, shelter, long-term care, and parent education. this is why I had to be hit, thinking that this was normal for any child. I went through this with my best friend’s help, to Helen’s* case came to the attention of the Close to You whom I had told I was HIV positive. If it had not been for Foundation the moment the girl decided to tell the Close her, I do not know what might have happened to me. to You specialists. After the evaluation of the family situa- One day, sick of all and everything, I decided to tell all tion, the girl was placed in foster care. The Close to You these things to the people from the Close to You Foundation. Foundation supported with food, clothes and articles for They came and helped find a new family. Now, I thank schools. She was also offered specialist support through God that I found a beautiful family who love me very much individual counseling, group meetings, school transfer and and who take good care of me. I changed the school where benefits of legal rights. I was studying, I made new friends, I became stronger and Helen will remain with her caring foster parents thanks to more able to fight. I have no regrets for having decided to the support of Holt child sponsors. take this step. Now I can smile, I can enjoy life and I am no longer afraid that when I get home, I will be beat up. —Anca Urzica, Social worker, Iasi Center Now I know what a family really means. *Name changed to protect Helen’s identity.

14 Winter 2006 sponsorship

The World is a frightening place ...to a child who is orphaned, abandoned or vulnerable Your sponsorship can change the world for a child in Holt’s care. Food, shelter, clothing, medical care, loving arms… your gifts of $25 per month will help surround your sponsored child with safety and nur- turing until a permanent home can be found. To begin your sponsorship, visit www.holtinternational. org/sponsorship and select a child, or you may call 800/451-0732. “Don‘t forget our boy.” For more than 30 years, one woman continued to sponsor the boy who won her heart—and that of her late husband. Born in April 1969, Jung-won “Profoundly retarded,” reads heart goes out to Jung-won entered care at Holt-Korea’s the progress report. “Suffers every time I go through his pic- Kim Jung-won. Ilsan Center outside Seoul in from blindness and cerebral tures. What he missed in his argaret Sherman was February 1971. Ilsan Center is palsy.” childhood.” 98 years old when a permanent residential facility We can imagine similar con- What he missed, but also Mshe last wrote a short for individuals who are unable tent for earlier reports—ones what he gained. The faithful letter to Sharon Grant, Holt to be adopted due to their sent out several times each support of a generous heart. International’s sponsorship disability. year during those 30+ years. Commitment. Love. coordinator. Margaret’s hand- In the note Margaret sent writing was shaky, a little hard “Because he tears his clothes At Ilsan, Jung-won lives in Grant in February 2004, she to read. “I can’t see to read apart whenever he is angry, room #4 of Love Home, which apologized for being late with or write without my electric teachers have to stay close faces south, so it is cool during her yearly check. Because reader,” she noted. to him at all times,” reads the the summer and warm during of failing eyesight, she had report. “When asked to do a the winter. But her message was clear. sought her daughter’s help standing training, he collapses “I plan to continue supporting in preparing what turned out He eats regular meals and within a minute. They are Kim, Jung-won as long as we to be her last donation to her can feed himself with a spoon. training him to strengthen his both live.” sponsored child—$320 to see He is trained and encouraged legs and make him walk later him through the year, with a to do all that he can do for Margaret had been support- on, but he is not determined little extra for something more. himself. He goes on out- ing Jung-won for more than to do so.” When Jung-won’s first 2005 ings, visits the beautiful Ilsan 30 years, first with her hus- progress report was mailed in After receiving her last prog- grounds, attends the annual band, and then alone. She March, word came back that ress report from Holt, Margaret Christmas party. explained to Grant that before Margaret had passed away. thanked Grant for the pho- a severe stroke led to his “His face lights up when tograph of Jung-won, one of death 20 years earlier, “That people call his name,” reads the many she had saved over the was the only request my hus- report. “He loves snuggling.” hat can make a per- years. band made for me. To ‘Don’t son so faithful? And A report that Margaret would forget our boy.’” “Our skin & bones little Whow could a young have loved. ■ 2-year-old has grown into a Margaret did not forget man with no obvious way handsome young man under by Alice Evans Jung-won, the boy who had to express his appreciation Holt’s care,” she wrote. “My Managing Editor captured both their hearts. inspire such love?

www.holtinternational.org 15 inspiration Wise and. . . Wonderful

photographs by William Gray and Renée Lemley of daughter Emerson Gray, adopted from China, and their dogs, Mosby and Gizi.

16 Winter 2006 inspiration Wise and. . . Wonderful

“All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful: the Lord God made them all.” —by Mrs. Cecil Frances Alexander Hymns for Little Children (1848) www.holtinternational.org 17 from the family A Metamorphosis An adoptive father tenderly describes his daughter’s difficult transition from one country to another, a journey punctuated by the loss of language, culture, and other people who looked the same, but redeemed by the love of a family. By Greg Roth— This is the story of Sarah Elizabeth Sung Ah Roth, at terrifying without the blue-black hair, almond eyes, Sacramento, Calif. least part of her story. She was left alone—so it is soft faces and amber skin of everyone else she had told—on the streets of Seoul, Korea, in 1983 when ever known. And they called her by a name that she was 4 years old, as estimated by the physicians somewhat resembled hers, but was definitely not in charge at that place at that time. In October of quite right. that same year, she was placed with a family in T Perhaps from Sarah’s perspective, these people did Sacramento, California…my lovely wife, Patricia, try—offering some broken phrases in her native lan- and our daughter, Jennifer, and myself. She went guage, a tape of children’s songs familiar to her from through a difficult transition in those early days with her country of birth. And perhaps this home did have us—one that I think every adoptive child goes through something to offer—the rice wasn’t cooked quite Above: Sarah with her in his or her own way—and this is how I recall it. fianceé, Chris, and right but there was plenty of it, and there seemed to flanked by parents Greg For a 4-year-old child whose parents had been lost, be an endless supply of cookies and milk. Seoul is as far from Sacramento as Alpha Centauri is and Patricia Roth. Sarah did not cry, but she did not laugh either…it from Earth. The journey is filled with strange people, was no laughing matter. If this was supposed to be odd sights, fearsome sounds, and terrifying confu- her new family, it was not the right one…was it? sion. But, with the courage that is reserved for lost children, Sung Ah met the challenge with her quick One day a couple of weeks later, her mom smile and easy grace. dressed her up as a princess and the family drove to a Halloween party out in the country where, at At Los Angeles International Airport, an anxious least, there were quite a few kids who looked a lot mom gathered Sarah into arms that had been waiting like her. But that was little consolation. Eventually, for longer than she could imagine, and they dashed a kindly woman from her native country, who spoke across the airport to join politicians, bureaucrats and her native language, engaged her in conversation: businessmen on their way to Sacramento. None of it made any sense, but she knew she was on her way “Hello, Sarah. How pretty you look dressed up to her “forever family” (that is, after all, what the as a princess!” wonderful women at the orphanage had assured her “My name isn’t Sarah…it is Sung Ah” was the sharp lay in store). retort. She had no way of knowing that her “forever fam- “Oh, well now…your parents have given you the ily” would not speak her language, could not sing her name of Sarah now, and that will be your name.” songs, did not eat her food, and looked somewhat

18 Winter 2006 from the family

“Those people are not my parents, and Sarah is Left: Greg and Patricia not my name.” with daughters Jennifer A Word from Sarah Roth and Sarah upon Sarah’s Recognizing that further treatment of the issue was arrival at Sacramento necessary, the kind woman patiently explained to her “Life is about new beginnings. When Metropolitan Airport. what had been explained at the orphanage—that she I think back when I met my new fam- was now with her “forever family,” “those people” ily, a smile comes to my face and heart, were her new parents, and the slightly older little even though it was not always that way Above: A recent photo girl in the family was her new sister. The long and of Jennifer, Greg, Patricia confusing trip was over. She had arrived at her des- for me. As I have grown, I realize that and Sarah. tination. my memories and experiences—good This did not strike Sarah as good news. or bad—have empowered me to be the woman I am today. I am thankful to She withdrew…did not play games with the other kids…spoke no word to anyone. Storm clouds gath- have had the love and support from my ered quietly but relentlessly in her mind. Once home, family. It is truly a blessing. Now, I am a glass of milk and a cookie were left untouched, and at another frontier, and I am thrilled then off she went to bed. to start a family of my own with my As the first minutes of a new day ticked closer, fiancée, Christopher. Life is new begin- Patricia and I were awakened by soft sobbing, the nings—embrace it.” clouds out ahead of the main front. We went to Sarah and tried to comfort her, but comfort was not to be found. Patricia lay down with Sarah, held Sarah in her arms, and spoke to her with soft sounds of hug that followed came from the same place the pain reassurance. had come from the previous night. But Sarah’s sadness was irrepressible, and the Before breakfast was over, Sarah was singing cries welled up from the center of her soul. The and dancing to the tape of children’s music we had sounds she made were those that rip your heart out, played so often. Though she had lost so much, she the sounds of heartfelt hopeless despair, of timeless had found her voice. human loss. And her mom wept, as her new daugh- ter shuddered and sobbed in her arms. The wailing Addendum: Sarah is now 26 years old. In most seemed like it would never end. But in the darkest ways, she is still the same Sarah who got up from the hour, mother and daughter both fell sleep. breakfast table to sing and dance so long ago. Sarah slept and slept and slept, while Patricia and She has graduated from the University of California– I worried over cup after cup of fresh coffee. When Davis, successfully embarked on a career in real at last she awoke, she arose with a broad smile—the estate, and is engaged to marry a wonderful young kind that brightens the eyes and easily infects anyone man. She still has her voice, her quick smile, and her nearby. She clambered onto her mom’s lap, and the easy grace. ■

www.holtinternational.org 19 from the family

Breastfeeding My Adopted Child

Is it possible to breastfeed an adopted baby? Does breastfeeding speed up the bonding process? An adoptive mother says yes. By Pamela Weaver– The air was charged with excitement and I didn’t do my usual research but Piedmont, South anticipation as my husband and I waited decided that if God wanted this baby Dakota with our two young sons. We were at the to nurse, she would. Denver airport for the arrival of our new This little girl whose mother had baby daughter from Korea. immediately relinquished her to Holt TI couldn’t help but imagine that I as a newborn, and who had been Top: Pamela Weaver would cry tears of joy when I saw my bottlefed during her five months in cradles Grace in her arms daughter—and that I would instantly foster care, latched on and kept nurs- on her arrival day, while bond with her. I doubted the realism of ing from there on out. sons Christian and Joshua that hope, however. cuddle up with their new Within a month I had enough milk sister. Center: Grace at Finally, I spotted a small Korean for both Joshua and Grace. A few 15 months. woman carrying a baby in a front sling. months later, Grace didn’t even know I nearly tackled her. what a bottle was for. She had bonded with me almost immediately. At 13 Receiving my beautiful 5-month-old daughter was months there is still no place she’d rather be but in like childbirth without the pain. Lee, Ha-rahn was my arms. now Grace Olivia Weaver. I believe that the intimacy of nursing caused this After visiting with Grace’s escort and our Holt deep bonding between us. And I encourage other greeters, we stepped outside to catch a shuttle to our moms to consider this option, even those who have hotel. While waiting for the shuttle, I cradled Grace never breastfed a child. in my arms. Apparently she could smell my milk because she began rooting. You can find help in learning to build up your milk supply through the La Leche League and through I had been nursing my 2-year-old son, Joshua, and their book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I hoped that I also would be able to nurse the child Bob and I adopted. Earlier, when I asked an adop- My family’s adoption experience thus far has been tion worker if she knew of successes in breastfeed- an exciting and enriching journey. We treasure each ing adoptees, she replied, “Well, some women try.” moment with our Grace from heaven. ■

20 Winter 2006 from the family

Friends Reunited in a New Country Young friends from the same orphanage in Vietnam find families in the same county and same church—much to their mutual delight. What a joy it was for my husband and I to see our spent in the orphanage and the joy we experienced By Anita van den two new daughters, Amy and Katie, for the first time in meeting and adopting our two daughters. We also Heuvel— at the orphanage in Vietnam. But Amy and Katie talked about our attachment to Matthew, and how Fulton, Calif. were afraid and hesitated to come near us. Amy’s our affection for him had grown. We described his best friend Matthew, though, warmed up to us right fun-loving spirit and his joy for life. We shared that Waway, excited to have new people to play with. he was waiting for a family to adopt him and that his picture had appeared in the Waiting Child section of Amy and her friend Matthew were both relin- the Holt magazine. quished shortly after birth and had been together at the orphanage for two and a half years. They were To our excitement a week later a family from our the two oldest children there. The staff said they church expressed an interest in adopting Matthew. were inseparable and regularly got into mischief We were thrilled and put them in contact with Holt. Above: Matthew Moody, together. Many photographs we received from Holt Matthew arrived a little over a year later to be with son of Eric and Molly of Amy and Katie also had Matthew in them. his family in his new home in America. Moody, and Amy van den Heuvel, daughter As our three days of visiting the orphanage went We were not only thankful that Matthew now had of Anita and Ries van by and we began to bond with our daughters, a bond a family of his own, but also that Amy had her child- den Heuvel, spent more also began to grow in our hearts for Matthew. He hood friend living close by. Throughout the year of than two years together had charmed us. If it were possible we would have waiting for Matthew to arrive we talked a lot about at the same orphanage taken Matthew home with us also. But that would him with Amy. We talked about his adoption and in Vietnam before they have been an involved process, requiring much effort how she would get to see him again. We kept pic- were parted by adoption. and another year of paperwork. tures of Matthew out for Amy to see. Amy’s adoptive parents On the last day of our visit to the orphanage, Amy is excited to have Matthew so near. They helped find a family for Matthew wanted to be held by us the whole morn- visit each other every week at church and get Matthew through their ing. I think he knew the routine of children leav- together occasionally to play. They truly enjoy each church community. ing the orphanage with their new families. He also other’s company. They can play happily all morning wanted to be in all the pictures we took, pictures of together, interacting with laughter and giggles. the girls and of the orphanage workers. Leaving him For a long time Amy said she was going to marry behind wrenched my heart. Matthew. Five months after Amy’s adoption, she saw When we returned to America we were able to her older sister Anna get married. After the wedding share our experience in Vietnam with our church Amy was always dressing up as a bride and pretend- family. We told them about the culture, the country- ing to marry Matthew. You never know what the side, the roads, the people we had met, the time we years may bring. ■

www.holtinternational.org 21 from the family

A Year of Early

Theo Wilde sits on Intervention the steps of a hotel in Bangkok, Thailand, soon after his adoption. When their new son from Thailand showed problems in his growth and development, this family found help through their pediatrician—from Early Intervention Services. by Jennifer Hanlon- I never expected to have a child His foster mother, Chaam, said Wilde with developmental delays. Theo Palapon was a difficult baby. Mosier, Ore. Our first child, Harry Teppitak, When we visited we learned there had come home from Thailand were two other kids in her care, fat and sassy, a ripe peach of including her young grandson. a baby, and he did everything Although the family was sweet and Center: Tom Hanlon-Wilde on schedule. He was talking at loving, they appeared a little over- holds sons Harry and Theo 18 months, singing the alphabet whelmed. Theo cried a lot, Chaam on Theo’s adoption day. song at 2, and riding a trike at 3. said, especially at night. We asked Opposite page: With Mo, We attributed his chubby good what we should do to comfort him a social worker, looking health to his foster mother, Mrs. and the interpreter translated her on, Jennifer Hanlon-Wilde Deng, and her granddaughter, response as “Good luck to you!” Qip, who fed him constantly and meets her new son, Theo We did have trouble with carried him everywhere. Palapon Wilde, for the first “Pow-pow.” He cried a lot in time–Bangkok, December When we received a referral the first several weeks. No, 2003. from Thailand for another boy, that’s wrong—he didn’t “cry.” He had we were glad to hear he too was in foster care. howling, screaming fits of rage that scared all of us. Although he would be nearly 2 when he came to us, There was something else that worried me. Theo we didn’t anticipate any problems with his growth didn’t talk! I don’t mean he wouldn’t talk to us, or or development. He was reportedly healthy, and he that we expected him to know English. He didn’t looked good in photographs. talk at all. His most recent medical report confirmed this—“speech delay” was scrawled among the other In November 2003, our family set out for Thailand. notes. My first glimpse of Theo Palapon was a surprise—he was tiny! When he finally let me hold him, I couldn’t Over the next few months we found more cause believe how light he was. I soon realized that none for concern. The tantrums became more frequent. of Harry’s hand-me-downs would fit for a long When he was frustrated, Theo would hit, kick, and time—even though we had clothes from when Harry even bite. The outbursts were so severe I felt unable was a full year younger than Theo was now. But to take him on outings, like grocery shopping or to could he ever run and jump! Harry nicknamed him the library. Once he got going I couldn’t soothe “Pow-pow,” short for Palapon and in honor of his him, no doubt in part because he still didn’t seem to explosive energy. understand anything I said.

22 Winter 2006 from the family

EIS: A Resource for Families Early Intervention services are a wonderful resource for fami- lies who suspect that their child may have some developmen- tal delays. Each state decides which of its agencies will be the lead agency in charge of Early Intervention services for infants and toddlers with special needs. Availability of these services is mandated by federal law and funded by the federal government as well as state, local and private sources.

Your pediatrician can help you decide whether your child should be referred for an assessment. As Jennifer Hanlon Wilde says in her article, the Early Intervention team will conduct a thorough assessment to determine whether or not your child is eligible for services. If your child is eligible, the team, which includes the parents, will develop a plan specifi- cally tailored to your child’s needs. The services of specialists There were physical concerns, too. At his first visit to the in several areas (such as speech pathologist and physical or pediatrician, Theo was diagnosed with “failure to thrive.” He weighed 18½ pounds—the weight of an average American 1- occupational therapist) may be included in the plan. The year-old—and he looked scrawny. He also had a small head therapist may visit the child in your home, or in a preschool circumference, below the fifth percentile for his age. The setting. doctor ruled out lead poisoning, kidney, liver, and thyroid problems, HIV, and TB. Then our doctor did something won- The EI staff workers are well versed in early childhood devel- derful. She referred us to Early Intervention. opment, both for typically developing children as well as those A couple of weeks after Theo’s checkup, I got a call from who exhibit various differences. Generally, the team uses Mary at Early Intervention/Early Head Start. In February 2004 she did an assessment in two parts, at our home and at the an approach designed to encourage the child’s development Head Start building in The Dalles. Sitting on my lap, he was by anticipating the next developmental task that a typically asked to sort shapes, to match up pictures, and to follow developing child might be working on next. For example, if simple instructions. She also took notes on his interactions your baby is not pushing with her arms to raise her trunk with Harry and me. It looked pretty simple, but in fact she was assessing his development in four areas: cognitive, adap- up off the floor (a precursor to crawling), pillows or a rolled tive, social, and motor. Mary explained she was using a blanket might be placed under her tummy to get her more couple of different tools, the Hawaii Early Learning Profile and accustomed to the position. A more commonly known exam- the Battelle Inventory. Monica, a speech pathologist, tested ple is using a doughnut-shaped pillow to help prop up a child Theo’s hearing and his receptive and expressive language abilities. who is just learning to sit up on his or her own.

Mary said that some of Theo’s apparent delays were due to The speech therapist may be able to suggest ways of minimiz- culture shock and language. She also said that, in her experi- ence, kids who were adopted around age 2 struggled mightily ing frustration related to being unable to understand or speak for a while. After all, some of the developmental tasks of the English, such as using some simple sign language. Many par- 2-year-old include independence and control. We had taken ents intuitively do this sort of thing spontaneously, but hav- Theo from a familiar environment to one where he couldn’t ing the experience and resources of your EI team available to control anything and had to depend on strangers to meet his needs. The tantrums weren’t necessarily abnormal. your family is invaluable. Parents are always encouraged to participate not only in developing the plan, but also in help- Still, he clearly qualified for Early Intervention. He was now 27 months old. He was at the 16-month level in the ing their child practice “exercises” or “assignments” during adaptive and social domains. In the cognitive domain—which the week when the therapist is not there. is what we were most worried about—he scored between 19- 21 months. His motor skills, however, were consistent with Theo was fortunate to be able to “fire” his EI staff. However, age. In fact, as we knew, he was incredibly fast and agile. if your child continues to qualify for services, the EI program Mary and Monica used our input and their test results to is designed to dovetail into the school environment. And, the develop an individual services plan, or ISP, for Theo. The staff is expert at suggesting appropriate services, school pro- ISP included weekly visits with Monica—who would help him learn English and improve his communication skills—and grams, and in easing the child’s and family’s transition into preschool at Early Head Start in the fall. As soon as I visited school. the class, I knew it was the right choice for Theo. There were —Pat McConnell, MSW three teachers for seven kids. The schedule was highly struc- Director of Social Services, Korea continued on next page

www.holtinternational.org 23 from the family

Harry and Theo Wilde play in the snow at home in Mosier, Oregon, January 2005.

A Year of Early Intervention, continued from previous page tured, with lots of encouragement at each step. The qualifies for speech therapy.” At 35 months, Theo children had plenty of time to play outside and blow could use verbs, describe his physical state, ask ques- off steam and to do sensory projects like painting with tions, combine words into short sentences, follow shaving cream. The little 2 and 3 year olds hung up instructions, and generally make himself understood. their coats in their cubbies, cleared their own plates, In nine months, Theo had progressed 15 months in and generally controlled themselves nicely. I goggled language development. at the idea that Theo might do these things. And, it Next Mary described Theo’s progress in the other would cost us nothing. arenas. His motor skills continued to develop rap- Although preschool was initially difficult, with lots idly, so that he was a little ahead of the curve. In of crying every time I dropped him off, the teachers the adaptive and social areas, he still lagged about a assured me Theo was participating and having fun. year behind, but was progressing nicely—ten months’ And he began to look forward to Monica’s visits and worth of gain in nine months’ time. The low adaptive her undivided attention. (The only problem we had score was, in large part, due to Theo’s indifference to was keeping Harry away from all her exciting toys toilet training, a process that is finally underway (once and games!) She assured me Theo was making prog- again, thank you, fruit snacks manufacturers). ress even when I couldn’t see it. Best of all, his cognitive skills were now at the 99th One day, when I was clearing up from lunch percentile for his age. He had gained over 14 months Theo grabbed his plate and said very clearly, “No of development in nine months. Some of the items he Mama. I want finish noodles.” A few days later Harry could now accomplish included: identify descriptive informed Monica she didn’t concepts like big/little, complete a six-piece puzzle I goggled at the idea that Theo have to come anymore—his in three minutes, match objects, and count objects brother could talk now. to five. might do these things. And, it As the year went on, it I don’t think all these gains were a direct result of would cost us nothing. was impossible not to notice the Early Intervention program. Undoubtedly, Theo changes in Theo’s behavior. would have learned English eventually, and being The tantrums diminished immersed in a loving family —including an extraordi- once I could reason with him. (Or, let’s face it, bribe nary big brother—helped him along too. But the EI him with fruit snacks!) Also, he gained weight and staff was invaluable. Even if their only role had been grew in height. That didn’t surprise me. I knew he to teach us about normal development and show us was outgrowing all his clothes, but I was delighted to Theo’s progress, I would feel the same. But of course learn that his head (and presumably, his brain) had they did much more than that, and I think they felt grown by an amazing six centimeters in less than a rewarded, too. year. The pediatrician soon crossed “failure to thrive” In Mary’s last ISP summary, she wrote, “Thank you off the problem list. Among other things, Theo was for the opportunity to evaluate your adorable little learning to thrive. boy. It is not often that I have the opportunity to see Nine months after the initial assessment, close to such an amazing amount of growth in one child in Theo’s third birthday, it was time for the EI staff to less than a year. Congratulations to you all!” ■ reassess him and see what gains he’d made. First off, Monica announced that Harry had fired her! “And Harry was right,” she laughed. “Theo no longer

24 Winter 2006 adopting

U.S. Citizenship What you need to know about ob- taining proof of citizenship for your adopted child. “My 17-year-old son was detained at the U.S.– Certificate of Citizenship By Karla Miller Canada border and questioned by Border Patrol. He You need to complete USCIS form N-600–Application Holt Post Adoption had his Certificate of Citizenship with him. Is he a U.S. for Certificate of Citizenship. With the N-600, we rec- Services Coordinator* citizen?”.—Adoptive Parent ommend submitting the following items: “How important is the Certificate of Citizenship? We 1. Adoptee’s Alien Registration Card don’t want to pay the $200 fee if we don’t have to.” 2. Final Adoption Decree —Adoptive Parent 3. Marriage certificate of adoptive parents Above left: Joshua Doyle, 4. Adoptee’s birth certificate “Am I a U.S. Citizen?” —Adoptee 15 months, adopted from 5. Evidence of adoptive parents’ U.S. citizenship Korea by Mike and Jolie Proof of U.S. citizenship is one of the most important 6. Fee Doyle, holds the U.S. flag documents an international adoptee will ever have. U.S. Passport on the day his adoption Like the teenager in the first situation, adoptees may was finalized. encounter situations where U.S. citizenship will be You will need to complete U.S. Department of State questioned based on foreign birth and race. Their form DS-11–Application for U.S. passport. With the Below: In the chambers adoptive parents, born in the United States, may not DS-11, you need to submit: of the judge who final- anticipate this need, as the second example shows. 1. Proof of legal entry into the United States. This ized the adoption, Jennifer Fong hugs children Noah, How do you obtain proof of U.S. citizenship? To can be adoptee’s Alien Registration Card, foreign passport with USCIS Stamp I-551, or proof of 3, and Grace, 14 months, answer this question, first determine adoptee’s date of both from Korea. birth and U.S. arrival date: U.S. citizenship Certificate of Naturalization or Certificate of Citizenship. • Adoptees born on or before February 27, 1983—If 2. Certified Adoption Decree the adoptee was not naturalized, he or she is 3. Two passport photos not a U.S. citizen and will need to complete 4. Adoptive parents’ valid identification the entire naturalization process. The adoptee 5. Fee may be required to replace an Alien Registration Card, if lost. The adoptee will need to com- • Adoptees who immigrate to the United States on plete the following USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and an IR-3 visa after January 2004—The USCIS will Immigration Services) forms: N-400-Application automatically send Certificate of Citizenship to the for Naturalization and I-90-Application to Replace adoptive families within 45 days of arrival. To Permanent Resident Card. See the USCIS website obtain a U.S. passport, the adoptive family should to schedule an appointment with an immigration follow the above procedure. officer. After you receive a Certificate of Citizenship/ • If an adoptee was naturalized but lost the natu- Naturalization or U.S. passport, you must contact the ralization certificate, he or she will need to Social Security office to change status from “Alien complete USCIS form N-565-Replacement for a Resident” to “U.S. Citizen.” naturalization certificate. To obtain naturalization All forms will require time and fees from adop- information, an adoptee may complete USCIS for tive parents, but the security of having a document G-639–Freedom of Information. showing U.S. citizenship is priceless for an adoptee. • Adoptees born on or after February 28, 1983—On Without proof of U.S. citizenship, an adoptee’s February 27, 2001, the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 request for federal aid, such as Stafford Student became effective. The law grants automatic U.S. loans, Medicaid/Medicare, or Social Security, may be citizenship to adopted children of U.S. citizens. The delayed. law grandfathered in all adopted children under 18 Websites at the time of enactment. Although the law states U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services: www.uscis.gov that adoptees will be granted U.S. citizenship, the U.S. Passport Services: www.travel.state.gov adoptee or an adoptive parent will need to show a Certificate of Citizenship/Naturalization or U.S. * Karla Miller recently moved to the finance department. If passport if questioned. You can’t simply state that you have more questions about citizenship, please contact Post the law granted U.S. citizenship. Adoption Services at Holt International. ■

www.holtinternational.org 25 adoptees today

Fitting In

By Diane Brown Highland Village, Texas While serving as a counselor at Holt camps, a Korean adoptee from an earlier generation gained in- sights about her own need to fit in. Diane Brown enjoyed the “refreshing” honesty of her young Midwest campers. Growing up in a small Texas town in with at-risk youth, but these campers were ting with her gave me the same sense of the 1960s and ’70s could be a challenge “normal” teenagers not much interested wonder that she had at the expanse of when you were Asian American, nerdy in adults because they already had good the sky, the big and little dippers, and the and economically disadvantaged. So now, adult role models. My own isolated ado- rest of the stars in the sky—things I hadn’t decades later, although I expected the lescence offered little instruction on being stopped to look at in 30 years. I collected counseling experience at Holt camps to be a “normal,” middle-class teenager. bugs, played games and gave the girls a natural fit for me, I was surprised to find piggyback rides. I found their honesty On another level, however, I was glad myself not fitting in again at the season’s refreshing. to see in the “Exploring Identities” class at first camp. At 45, I was more than twice the Oregon camp that the teens seemed to Unfortunately, unlike many of the teens the age of the other counselors, and this have pride in who they were in reaction I encountered at the Oregon camp, some time it was my age and life experiences, to racist remarks. One kid said he just of the children in Nebraska weren’t as com- not my racial background, that made me shot back with another insult. At that age, fortable with who they were. Schools in different. I withdrew and internalized such things. Nebraska don’t have many Asian Americans, I volunteered to be a counselor because Even for teens who were among the only much like the schools I attended in Texas. I was in a transition period after being Asian Americans at their schools, they said Although many of the Nebraska campers married, moving to a new city, and leav- they still fit in because they were treated indicated they were able to fit in like their ing behind a legal position I’d had for ten as white. Portland contemporaries, some appeared years. More importantly, I had tutored, to internalize taunts from their classmates, In addition, the young people I met as mentored and done other volunteer work like I had. I find it sad that after these fellow counselors during my experience with children and teenagers, and I thought, many years of interracial adoptions, this at Holt Camp were polite, considerate What could be better than working with phenomenon still occurs. and advanced in their view of themselves. interracially adopted children like myself? When I was their age, I was trying to run In my own childhood and adolescence, However, I didn’t anticipate my camp away from my Asian background, but I the other kids with whom I did not fit in experience would bring back feelings found other counselors to be embracing were white. But human nature being what I thought I had left behind with my their Asian heritage. In a world that sees it is, there were campers who didn’t fit in childhood and adolescence. Rather than us by our outside appearances only, this no matter how hard they tried, even in an address the issues head-on when I was a is so important. Members of today’s gen- environment where all of the kids were child and teen, as well as on into adult- eration of transracial adoptees in general transracial adoptees. hood, I sought to run away from them, as appear to be much more comfortable with I especially enjoyed my New Jersey I wanted to do after the Oregon camp. I their status as Asian Americans raised in campers, also the youngest girls. They would not have come back for the other Caucasian families than I was. were well behaved and got along beauti- two camps had I not already bought my The Nebraska camp was a complete fully, working well as a group. They also airline tickets. In hindsight, that would turnaround from the previous camp. I seemed comfortable with who they were have been a huge mistake. worked with 10-year-old campers who and quite inquisitive. Like the girls at the At the Oregon camp I had trouble con- were the youngest group of girls. They Nebraska camp, they were refreshingly necting with my campers, which had to do gave me a chance to share their sense honest, and never minced words. I proved a lot with my own perceptions and per- of delight at the world. One girl said to be a horrible rower—all the 10-year- sonality. I was well experienced working her prayers outside at night, and just sit- olds were so much better than I—and one

26 Winter 2006 adoptees today

let me know it when we were rowing on of your love to her.” I cannot in words the lake. The last night of camp, they convey how much the expression of packed suitcases without being asked. such sentiments meant to me. Some told me they would miss me. Years ago, a few friends and I were I noticed that most girls at both the having dinner, and one asked us to Nebraska and New Jersey camps were describe the best experience of our lives quite assertive, unlike me at age 10. that we would like to relive. After the They stood up for themselves and didn’t others had spoken and it was my turn, I let anyone push them around. honestly couldn’t think of anything. After the New Jersey camp, one par- My time as a Holt camp counselor, ent sent me a wonderful e-mail: “I want being with the other counselors but to thank you so much for the time and especially being with the little girls, care you gave to [my daughter] and the gave me more of those experiences other girls at Holt camp. She had such than I can count. Despite the rough a wonderful experience she says she start, what I found at camp was that I is going to wear the bracelet until next received so much more than I was able year’s camp! We so appreciate the gift to give. ■

A Sense of Belonging A sense of belonging is one of our most basic human needs. To be loved and to belong are nearly as central to life for us as air, food, water, exer- cise, rest, shelter and safety. Many people can remember fitting naturally into a group and feeling that they belong. It is a feeling of being at home and at ease. While very natural and easy, this sense of belonging is also complex. Many adults are aware that their sense of belonging changes depending upon the particular group that they are currently in. For example, an active church member may be much more comfortable with the Women’s Group than with the Board. Also, as our identities change, the groups we wish to belong to change. A young adult adoptee exploring what it means to be Asian may be spending far more time with other Asians and be more concerned about how she fits in with recent immigrants and second and third generation Asians than at any prior time in her life. As Diane so clearly articulates in her article, race is one characteristic that is often used to define group boundaries. An Asian American, she was defined as an outsider in the largely white community in which she grew up. Diane also mentions nerdiness, class and her age as serving as other markers that have contributed to undermining her sense of belong- ing at different times in her life. Other common differences that serve as boundary markers, particularly for children, include being adopted, physical development, social maturity, visible and invisible disabilities, and interests. Because all of the campers and most of the counselors at camp are adopted and most are in transracial adoptions, many, if not most, chil- dren feel at home and at ease at camp. Everyone at camp knows what it’s like not to look like your mom and dad and to have to deal with other Holt Motherland Tour children who show you everything “made in China.” June 25-July 7 Camp itself, a protected environment, heightens the sense of belonging, $3200* as do the many team-building activities that campers participate in. Last summer Steve Kalb, our camp director, also led the whole camp commu- nity in a ceremony at the end of camp to honor their connections with Holt Family Tour each other. Passing a large spool of thread around, he had all the camp- July 1-July 13 ers and counselors hold it as he talked about what connects them and $3950* why they all belong. They then helped each other cut the string and tie it around their wrists. Steve is still wearing his string, a concrete symbol of *For additional information including belonging, just as many of the campers, like the one mentioned in Diane’s date or price changes, go to the website article, are still wearing theirs. www.holtinternational.org/koreatour —Laura Crawford Hofer, LCSW, ACSW or contact Sue Mills at 541.687.2202 Director, Post Adoption Services [email protected]

www.holtinternational.org 27 family tree

Stephanie, 6, and Noah, 2, both from China; Jameson, 9; and Julianna MacFarland (top), 12–Jupiter, Fla.

Megan Teel, 2, China–Naperville, Ill.

Larry Ehren and Christy Dorn with daughters Jeff and Denise Beld with daughters Liana, 7, and Caroline, 2, and Lia, 6, China, on the occasion of David Edmonds, Korea, with his new bride, Hong Giselle, 5, China—Santa Cruz, Calif. Caroline’s baptism—Long Beach, Calif. Lam—Portland, Ore.

Megan, 12, Romania; Shay, 2, and Grace Bailey, 5, both from India–Omaha, Neb. Luke, 3, and Moriah Strait, 11 months, Korea–Longview, Texas

28 Winter 2006 family tree

Send your photos to Family Tree! Mail original color prints to: Holt International magazine Family Tree P.O. Box 2880 Eugene, OR 97402 [email protected] Send us your best photos of your kids. Throughout the year we need photos for Holt International magazine, our calendar and other productions… and we’d love to consider yours. Now that Christmas is past, this is a great time to select a couple of Christmas photos for us to con- sider during the 2006 holiday season. Please send glossy photographic prints or e-mail high resolution digital images. We cannot use studio photos or prints from digital files. Because of the many photographs we receive each month, we are able to publish only a small percentage. We keep all photos on hold for possible future publication and will contact you if one of yours is selected.

Ben, 8, and Sarah Moon, 6, both from Korea, play at Mt. Hood–Portland, Ore.

Pascal Chin, 1, Korea—Portland, Ore.

Jack, 9; Aidan, 7, and Sofia Sackett, 4, all from Guatemala– Elizabeth, 8; Mary, 6; Willie, 4, Ecuador; and Katie Stewart, 9–Bend, Ore. Des Moines, Iowa

Margaret, 3, and Marie Stewart, 18 months, both from China—Baton Rouge, La. Jesse Kuykendall, 2, Thailand–Kansas City, Mo. Zoe, 3½, and Mai Tomlin, 2, both from Philippines–Springfield, Ore. www.holtinternational.org 29 Holt history

A Passionate Ambassador for Children Dr. David Kim, President Emeritus of Holt International, was the first person hired by Harry Holt to help save the lives of Korean war orphans. Now the government of the Republic of Korea has recognized him with its highest civilian award. By David Lim, Executive Director of International Programs for Northeast Asia

Personal recognition was something that Hyung-bok Kim. Together, they went to David Kim never sought. When he was work taking in children and forging a pro- In October, Dr. David H. Kim, awarded the Civil Order of Merit from the cess to place the children with adoptive President Emeritus of Holt government of the Republic of Korea last families in the United States. International Children’s Services, October, it was in a way a mirror of his life During the earliest years in Korea, the that he was not able to be there to accept was presented with the Civil Order P legal processing for adoptions required the award in person. of Merit by the Government of the navigation through a formidable bureau- Throughout the history of his work cracy. Each airplane flight required a Republic of Korea. This medal, with Holt, the story of Dr. Kim has been desperate struggle over countless hurdles the highest civilian award that one of quiet and tireless labor at every that meant life or death for the children can be conferred by the Korean level. As the first person hired by Harry awaiting adoption. David Kim went from Government, was awarded Dr. Holt to help him in Korea, Hyung-bok official to official asking assistance in sav- Kim was much like his mentor in terms of ing these children, getting officials to sign Kim in recognition of his lifetime dedication. Never one to pass off the most the necessary documents so the children service on behalf of homeless chil- onerous tasks to others, he unhesitatingly could be brought to their adoptive fami- dren in the Republic of Korea. took them on himself. When the fruits of lies. Humble, quiet and firm, he moved his labors were realized, he just as easily them with his compassion for the chil- During the presentation cer- allowed those he worked with to receive dren, and the inexorable force of his will. emony, the representative of the the accolades. His compassion was borne of his expe- Korean government said: “We can- Korean War Aftermath riences receiving children from their birth not adequately express our sincere mothers. The weight of the sacrifice made War in the early 1950s devastated Korea, appreciation to Dr. Kim with this by these women for love of their children leaving behind thousands of orphaned and shaped and strengthened his determina- Civil Order of Merit for his lifetime abandoned children. Families were torn tion to insure that the promise of a better service for Korean children since asunder by violence, chaos and extreme life for them would not be broken. He poverty. Harsh conditions and centuries 1956. Because of his dedicated understood the pain of separation and loss of entrenched tradition took away nearly service, many children were able because he and his family suffered tre- all hope for these children. Thousands mendous hardship during the war. Rather to have their own home.” suffered in orphanages, countless make- than hardening his heart, his own suffering shift shelters and huts, and on the streets. The ceremony was conducted as increased his empathy and concern for Many children died, not only from lack of others, especially those most helpless and part of the 50th Anniversary Gala adequate nutrition and medicine, but for vulnerable. celebrating the founding of Holt the want of caring and love. From the beginning David cared for Children’s Services After adopting eight orphaned Korean many of the children himself, feeding them in Korea. children, Harry and Bertha Holt realized and changing their diapers. He changed Because of health con- they could not walk away from the thou- so many diapers he often joked that his cerns, Dr. Kim was unable sands of children who remained behind. honorific should read “Doctor of Diapers.” to travel to Korea. His In 1956, Harry returned to Korea to find He became father, teacher, barber and wife, Mrs. Nancy Kim, more children to place with American sometimes disciplinarian to these children. was there on his behalf families. He brought them up from distant orphan- to receive the award and But Harry needed help to work effec- ages, got them medical care when they present his speech. tively in Korea. That’s when he met were ill, and prepared their documents

30 Winter 2006 Holt history

when it became time for them to many years, and by this exam- join their new families. He helped ple he established a fundamental escort hundreds of children to the change in social work practice. United States, many of whom were Since 1975 over 3,000 Korean weak and ill, caring for 50 to 90 adoptees and adoptive parents children at a time with little or no have taken the Motherland Tour rest, feeding, changing, and com- or Family Tour, learning about forting them. their roots and about Korean cul- During the early years of Holt’s tures. Today many other organi- work in Korea, some children died zations and agencies offer similar because they were too ill or weak programs, enabling thousands of when they came into care. When adoptees and adoptive families to this happened, Harry and David benefit from Dr. Kim’s insight. performed the burial service. After As the success of the tours one burial Harry turned to David became manifest, David also saw and said, “Who will answer for these a need among younger adoptees children when we stand before the to develop a sense of self and Lord?” These searing words were pride in their birth heritage. As a an indictment against those who result, he established Holt Heritage failed to do all they could for home- Camps. Early on, the majority of less children. But for David Kim, camp participants were Korean Harry’s words became an inspiration David Kim helped lead Holt International into new pr ogr ams in adoptees, but today the camps to care for each and every child “as Latin America. Her e he visits with a boy in Holt car e in Bolivia. have expanded significantly and a precious gift of God.” include adoptees from all coun- Visionary Work Some Highlights tries served by Holt. David Kim’s commitment to home- Dr. Kim played an important less children in Korea did not end Harry Holt provided the funds and the drive role in Holt’s expansion into India, with their adoption. His vision to save children. David Kim found ways to the Philippines, Thailand, Latin insured that children not adopted, make it work. Dr. Kim: America and Romania. He helped because of disability or for what- Holt establish one of the first inter- ever reason, would not be forgotten • helped Korean government officials to national adoption programs from and turned away. He worked with develop the first standardized processes for the People’s Republic of China. adopted children and adoptive fami- international He established overseas training lies to overcome difficulties they programs for Holt social workers experienced, especially for those adoption in that improved services to children children adopted at an older age, Korea. in Holt’s care, and as the new helping them adjust to their new • helped develop social work practices were adopt- families and new lives. He opened many of the ed by others, throughout Korea. his home to children and young adults in transition, making sure vital childcare Appointed to the U.S. delega- that regardless of their problems, methods in tion to The Hague Convention on they would know the love and care Korea that Intercountry Adoption, Dr. Kim of a family until a permanent home continue to offered impassioned testimony. could be found. His fervor for orphaned and aban- be models of doned children resulted in a pre- David always made time to listen child welfare David Kim with Asha, one of the many amble that declares children need to adoptees and adoptive families. childr en he helped find a family. parents of their own, and that From these conversations he recog- around the adoption is the best solution for nized a great need within this com- world. children who cannot remain with munity for answers to questions that • worked to break down the institutional their birth families. arose concerning their birth heritage. and attitudinal barriers that existed Until then, the accepted notion was David Kim’s determination and that adopted children from over- against adoption in the United States and service over the past five decades seas should become “Americanized” many countries. helped provide permanent homes as quickly as possible to facilitate • established overseas training programs for for 34,000 children through adop- their assimilation into American life. Holt social workers. tion with loving families in the Unfortunately for many adoptees, United States and opened the this practice severed any ties to • conceived and developed the Motherland way for another 200,000 children their birth country and left many Tour and Family Tour. to be adopted through Holt and questions unanswered. To address • established the Holt Heritage Camps. other agencies. His pioneer- this need Dr. Kim conceived of the • led Holt as it developed new programs in ing work continues to benefit first “Motherland Tours” to Korea homeless children in Korea and for Korean adoptees, and in 1975 India, China, Latin America and other throughout the world, and he he personally led the first tour. He countries. still serves as an ambassador and continued to lead all the tours for voice for children. ■

www.holtinternational.org 31 CATCH THE FUN! Oregon Midwest California East Coast

finding families Givefor children your child a trip to a Holt Adoptee Camp For up-to-date locations, dates and cost, log onto www. holtinternational.org. Please contact Steve Kalb at (541) 687-2202 or [email protected] for more information. Staff Training July 16-22 • Oregon Camp July 23-27 • Midwest Camp July 30-Aug. 3 • California Aug. 6-10 • East Coast Camp Aug. 13-17 finding families for children

finding families for children NONPROFIT ORG US POSTAGE PAID EUGENE OR Post Office Box 2880 • Eugene OR 97402 PERMIT NO. 291

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finding families for children Winter 2006 Vol. 48 No. 1

Holt Camps: at a crossroad