Gabrielle Easter previews the big-screen Hide in a cupboard until moviereviews releases heading to Madrid this month somebody finds you.

Ironclad (Templario) It is 1215 and England’s King John (Paul Giamatti) ■ BY NICK FUNNELL Also out has been forced by the country’s barons to sign the Magna Carta, a document stating that a monarch’s Paul After hit Britcoms Shaun of the Dead chased through a portal by evil wizard will is not arbitrary, and no man can be punished and Hot Fuzz, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Gargamel (The Simpsons’ Hank Azaria). If except under the law of the land. No sooner is the make their US movie debut together as two you find people saying things like “smurf hap- ink dry, than John attempts to bring the country sci-fi nerds touring American UFO sites in a pens” particularly amusing, it should be a under his tyrannical rule once more. Standing in his camper van who bump into Paul (voiced by smurfin’ riot. Out now way is Baron Albany (Brian Cox) who defends the Seth Rogen), an alien with attitude who’s on strategically important Rochester Castle with his the run from the feds and trying to get back to Captain America: The First Avenger motley crew of fighters: the brooding Templar Knight, his mothership. Written by the two stars, it’s (Capitán América: el Primer Vengador) I Marshall (James Purefoy), the impulsive and irrever- directed by Superbad’s Greg Mottola and also know what you’re thinking: if only Hollywood ent Beckett (Jason Flemyng) and a naïve young features Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig and just made a few more superhero movies. squire named Guy (). Into this mix Sigourney Weaver. Out now Well, you’re in luck as here’s another: the first comes Isabel (Kate Mara), the beautiful mistress of big-screen version (let’s forget the straight-to- Rochester Castle who seeks to tempt Marshall to Mr Popper’s Penguins (Los Pingüinos del video 1990 adaptation) of Marvel’s Captain break his sacred Templar vows. The excruciating lack Ironclad Sr Poper) Jim Carrey stars as the titular Mr America. Directed by Jurassic Park III’s Joe of chemistry between Mara and Purefoy makes for each other at the engagement party speeches to get- Popper, a rich New York businessman whose Johnston, the film focuses on the character’s awkward viewing, and renders Mara’s performance a ting the claws out over the perfect bridesmaid’s dress. life is turned upside down when he takes early years when an experimental World War little irritating. Although entertaining, not least when Including a food poisoning scene with enough vomit to delivery of a box of six live penguins with II army programme turns weakling Steve Giamatti brings John’s anger to the fore, this is cer- rival Team America and Monty Python’s The Meaning of seven-dwarf-style names—Stinky, Captain, Rogers (Chris Evans) into a supersoldier and tainly not for the faint-hearted—tongue and limb sev- Life, Bridesmaids pulls all the gross-out comedy strings Loudy, Bitey, Lovey and Nimrod. Watch out sends him to fight against arch Nazi villain ering feature prominently. With British stalwarts with varying success. It’s a little predictable and heavily for now 85-year-old Murder, She Wrote Red Skull (The Matrix’s ). Charles Dance, Mackenzie Crook and Derek Jacobi reliant on stereotypical jokes, but still manages laugh- actress Angela Lansbury in a supporting role. 5 Aug all joining the fray, Ironclad is dynamically and engag- out-loud moments that are to be expected from director Out now ingly shot, although it might fail to grip some viewers Paul Feig, especially with his track record of Knocked Rise of the Planet of the Apes (El Origen for the full 121 minute running-time. Out now Up and Bad Teacher. Little Britain’s Matt Lucas as del Planeta de los Simios) After Tim Annie’s strange housemate brings more fun to the Burton’s not very imaginative “re-imagining” of Bridesmaids goings-on that makes Bridesmaids an entertaining com- the original Charlton Heston movie about an (La boda de mi mejor amiga) edy for the summer. Out 12 Aug earth ruled by apes, this aims to reboot the With a dismal love life, no job and the looming prospect franchise by heading right back to the begin- of moving back in with her mother as an over-thirty year Super 8 ning. James Franco is a scientist who acci- old, Annie (Kristen Wiig) is down and out and not having In the summer of 1979, two best friends Joe Lamb dentally gives a chimpanzee, Caesar, human- fun. When her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) asks (Joel Courtney) and Charles (Riley Griffiths) band like intelligence while testing an anti- her to be her maid of honour, leading a motley crew of together to produce a zombie movie in a small Ohio Alzheimer’s drug. Promptly escaping, Caesar bridesmaids through all the pre-wedding events, all town. Enrolling the help of two classmates and Joe’s administers the wonder serum to his primate crush Alice Dainard (Elle Fanning) pals who start using their superior strength they begin filming on an 8mm and newfound brains to challenge camera. Things get complicated humankind’s dominance on earth. Perhaps— when they inadvertently capture a perhaps—the smartest blockbuster of the train crash while filming their first Mr Popper’s Penguins summer. 5 Aug scene, only to discover that there is more to the accident than first Green Lantern (Linterna Verde) In this adap- Conan the Barbarian (Conan el Bárbaro) appears. Finding their high school tation of the DC Comics series, Ryan Rather than have anything to do with the two biology teacher behind the wheel Reynolds fights to save Earth as test pilot Hal 1980s Arnie films about the beefy Cimmerian of the car that crashed the train Jordan, the first human to be recruited to the warrior, this new 3D adaptation claims to go wreck, the kids quickly learn that Green Lantern Corps and granted the powers back to the roots of 1930s pulp writer Robert something is amiss. Soon after, of its ring, which enables members to mould E Howard’s original character. Mr Muscles the military shows up and the physical world with their thoughts. New Jason Momoa (Stargate Atlantis) stars as the strange things start happening— Zealander Martin Campbell, best known for brutish barbarian battling to save the kingdom people are disappearing, power flicks GoldenEye and Casino of Hyboria from malevolent supernatural begins to fail and even loyal pet Royale, directs, while Blake Lively, Peter forces, while Rose McGowan and Ron dogs start running away from Saarsgard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins and Perlman offer support. 19 Aug home. Joe’s father, Deputy Angela Bassett also figure. Out now Jackson Lamb (Kyle Chandler) Mammuth In this French comedy Gérard suspects all is not right when the The Smurfs (Los Pitufos) “Where the smurf Depardieu stars as a long-haired slaughter- Bridesmaids Air Force puts the town in lock- are we?” In this 3D live-action/animated big- house worker revisiting his former employers down and refuses to cooperate screen adventure Les Schtroumpfs, as the lit- on his trusty old motorcycle—the “Mammoth” goes well until seemingly perfect Helen (Rose Byrne) with local police. Directed and written by J J Abrams tle blue Belgians are known in the original of the title—in order to collect the paperwork steps into the picture. Tensions run high as beautiful, and produced by Steven Spielberg, this sci-fi block- French (Smurfs is the Dutch translation), find he needs to retire. Gustave de Kervern and rich and sociable Helen tries to out-do clumsy, broke buster ticks all the boxes for a summer hit, whilst not themselves in the Big Apple after they’re Benoît Deléphine direct. 19 Aug Annie in organising Lillian’s wedding, from one-upping quite sparkling in its originality. Out 19 Aug

Christine, is a woman with a problem: as a dents. Poems such as Urban Landscape and Street Portraits result of an earlier car accident, every have the city’s idiosyncratic barrios as their theme, whereas I time she wakes up she has no memory. Won’t Call and I Wait are about Olsen’s emotional experi- The problem also means that she faces ences. It is hugely difficult to write prose, let alone poetry, in bookbuzz the daily trauma of waking up in bed next a language that is not one’s mother tongue, and yet Olsen to a man called Ben (her husband) with a manages to string together some beautiful and evocative wedding ring on her finger! Edmund Nash phrases about what it really means to be a citizen of Madrid. is the doctor in charge of this curious The text is accompanied by Olsen’s photographs, sketches, patient, but Christine’s true ally is her drawings and paintings, making it a charming volume. Harriet The Dispatcher journal, which she reads every day. The Smart Ryan David Jahn Macmillan twist begins when the first words in the “Gripping.” “Addictive.” “I walked into a journal are “Don’t trust Ben”. The amazing tree reading it.” So say the reviews for The aspect here is that all the events take Mythical Tales of the Everyday Dispatcher—the third book by Ryan David place in one day, because Christine’s brain will erase her Jahn. They’re not wrong; I had a few near- memory after 24 hours. The journal guides both Christine and World collisions with people on the Metro whilst the reader, answering one set of questions whilst giving rise Mercedes Aguirre Éride edi- ploughing through this fast-paced crime thri- to others. How much of Christine’s journal notes are true ciones ller. Pick it up and you’re soon lost in the when people around her tell her otherwise? It’s a gripping Aguirre’s latest work is a collection of regretful world of Ian Hunt, a police officer novel, from which even the temptation of a few cañas on a short stories with echoes of classical whose grey existence is snapped back into terraza will not distract you. No wonder the book is being mythology, a field in which she specialises. colour by a single phone call: it’s from translated into more than 30 languages, and the film rights She employs remarkable ingenuity and Maggie, his daughter, missing for seven years and recently have been bought by Ridley Scott. Guillermo Ulibarri originality, making the tales more than declared dead. Now 14, she’s been kidnapped, and she needs just a straightforward reproduction of his help. But the call is abruptly terminated with a scream classical models. Popular locations so before she can tell her father who is holding her captive. Sr Citizen often used in mythology, such as Argos, Jahn’s background as a film-maker shines through and his Charles Olsen Amargord Athena or Troy, are cunningly transposed deep characterisation gives this novel a real edge. It’s impos- As the title would suggest, Charles to the urban landscapes of romantic sible not to hate one particular individual, Henry Dean, a Olsen’s latest collection of poems Madrid, gritty Bilbao or glamourous Los Angeles. The themes sadistic man who justifies his hateful acts by feeding off the explores what it means to be a citizen of are undoubtedly contemporary, but also recognisable as weakness of his wife Beatrice. You’ll find yourself thinking Madrid. Born in New Zealand, Olsen issues with which classical heroes grapple. One can draw a about this book at strange moments of the day and pondering moved to England in the early eighties, parallel between the complexities of sexuality in The Race, what really drives people to do things that others consider and then to Spain in 2003. The title is set in Madrid in 2006AD, and the relationship between Iante evil. Katherine Robinson reflective of the sense of disconnection and Iphis in Ovid’s Metamorphoses, set in Rome in 8AD. that Olsen feels at living in a foreign coun- Another allusion is to the struggle of women to assert their try, but how simultaneously he has learnt own identity in a male-dominated world, which is apparent in Before I Go To Sleep to appreciate the country’s charm. The poems, written in The Quest and Let Me Die For You. Aguirre has skillfully S J Watson Doubleday Spanish and presented in English too, are testament to updated her theme to create an innovative, engaging, and S J Watson’s debut novel Before I Go To Sleep is a thriller Olsen’s sensitivity to Spanish culture and the nuances of its entertaining collection. The book is a bilingual edition, with that will make you constantly ask yourself if you still have language. There’s a great variety of subject matter, but they the Spanish originals translated into English by Richard time to read a couple more pages. The novel’s protagonist, all share a common theme of a love for Madrid and its resi- Buxton. Harriet Smart

18 AUGUST 2011 WWW.INMADRID.COM THE ENGLISH-LANGUAGE MONTHLY