November 2019
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To a woman who asked how to handle men On CBC’s Radio Noon with Shawn Apel, and at who say that sexually speaking she’s too needy or two major public conferences, the German-born intense and about the long-term effect of having and New York based psychosexual therapist, TV multiple sexual partners, Dr. Ruth says that she personality, journalist and radio talk show host would never say it has a negative effect. While offered advice where she felt qualified, and in re- those who are traditional believe the best route sponse to some queries, conceded she didn’t have is to get married, to have a partner and children, an answer because the issue was beyond her scope. “not everybody thinks that way. People are dif- On the radio and at a conference sponsored by ferent. It would be good to find a partner who the McGill Office for Science and Society – part understands your needs, and most important not have an unintended pregnancy.” of its Longing for Longevity program, – it was Photo: Barbara Moser Sex After 50 that attracted much of the attention. Dr. Ruth signs Sex for Dummies for publisher “The most important thing is to have a partner that smiles when you walk into the room, partner She was interviewed again by Shawn Apel the experience. Then he should go out to a bar, a that waits for you, that you know you can rely on.” following evening, at the Sha’ar Hashomayim lecture, or a concert. “If you find somebody, start But she concedes she is “old fashioned and square” Synagogue on sex and Judaism. a conversation.” and that not everybody wants to be married. Her Her advice is down-to-earth and easy to follow. On female orgasms Dr. Ruth advises: “There is no hope is that the sex life cements the relationship. She advises older couples to have sex in the number. Many women need a longer time to achieve On dating apps: She approves because “I don’t morning because that’s when an older man has orgasmic response and they have to be patient.” want people to be lonely. I want people to have a stronger erection: “Go to the bathroom, have a To an older female caller who can’t have an or- a partner. Use the name on the app, but never little breakfast – not too much – get back into bed gasm, she suggests her male partner use a vibrator meet in a secluded place, meet in a public place for sex. Testosterone levels for men are easiest in around her clitoris before he ejaculates and if he so that if you meet somebody and you see that the morning, easier for him to have an erection. can’t do it, she should do it herself. If that doesn’t you are not interested, you can use a white lie. It’s good for the woman to have a night’s sleep. A work, she should seek professional help. You can suddenly develop a headache or say you man needs physical stimulation at an advanced Should you listen to music during sex? No… have some work to do.” age, either by himself or his partner.” with an amendment. “Concentrate on the sensa- To an older woman who is alone, she suggested As for women, “it is very important to use lubri- tions during sex and your partner. However, if buying a vibrator, using it, and then going out to a cation because intercourse without it can be pain- the two of you are hooked on music, use it. Don’t concert or play and inviting someone who interests ful and then (the woman) says, ‘who needs it?’” make it a tragic or sad song, like ‘Leaving on a Jet her to have a coffee. “But you have to be prepared A single man in his ’50s says he’s alone and asks, Plane,’ but a love song is good.” for someone who will say no. You can’t sit in your “Is there hope?” On the G Spot: “No such thing exists, according living room waiting for a white knight to appear.” “There is always hope,” Dr. Ruth replies, and to science. Some women are a bit more sensitive How about Viagra for a 67-year-old? “I warn suggests that until he finds a partner he likes, he in certain spots in the vagina. 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With a successful dance productions Cabin: $2585 double Outside score composed by Bill Whelan, Cabin: $2865 Balcony: $3625 [email protected] in the world. $115 Coordinator: Dr. Rishanthi Sivakumaran Principal Investigator: Dr. Lisa Koski, PhD, Neuropsychologist • GENERAL DENTISTRY • IMPLANTS • INVISALIGN Dr. Javid Musevi & Associates 5890 Monkland Ave. Suite 10 514-484-8808 www.dentwest.com theseniortimes.com November 2019 THE SENIOR TIMES 3 Quebec’s International My “joie de vivre” comes from being Jewish Family LawFirm Continued from page 3 Since1957 Sex with a new partner you don’t never to use Viagra or any of the know much about? “Use a condom!” other sex pills without a doctor’s To a woman whose husband has •Estate •Divorce/Separation prescription, because there could be lost interest in sex: “Make an ap- • Custody + Financial Support other reasons for not obtaining or pointment for both of you to see a •Financial Support maintaining an erection.” She added urologist — because there might be •ElderRights that maintaining a healthy and mu- a physical problem. Make sure the •Personal Rights tually enriching relationship with a two of you take time.” •International Family Law •Immigration Daniel Antonio partner is much more than having a [email protected] •ProtectiveSupervision Romano Ostrica good erection. [email protected] Avocat -Attorney Avocat -Attorney 1Westmount Square,Suite 711, Tower1,Westmount, QC H3Z 2P9 t: 514-939-1200 Dr. Ruth on sex & Judaism at Shaar Hashamayim www.kalmansamuels.com |[email protected] Compiled by Barbara Moser year. I never thought I would not live in Israel.” On being Jewish and the connec- On the loss of a loved one: tion to openness about sex: “Let your friends and family help “My joie de vivre comes from my you. I don’t say necessarily to go to a Jewish background.” bereavement group. Sometimes you “I am very Jewish, not Orthodox, don’t want to hear about someone but in the Jewish tradition sex was else’s experience. Do something pro- never something to be ashamed of, ductive to help someone around you.” but on the contrary an obligation for On politics: the husband to (satisfy) the wife — to “I talk about sex from morning to make the best out of that relationship.” night but now I also talk about poli- “Even after menopause, the sages tics, which I never did before.